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Cause and Effect	By : elizashaw Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 6461 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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This time a rough shaking of his shoulder woke Xander.
"Want to tell me exactly what you're doing?"
Xander shook off the cool hand and shifted out of the bed.
"Rough night." His short response only darkened the look on Angel's face.
Angel shoved him against the wall, and Xander saw the flicker of amber in dark eyes. "What are you doing here, and why are you Spike's bed?"
Xander glared back. "I didn't know it was any of your business who was in Spike's bed." The usual unspecified anger and dislike for Angel surged to the surface at the first touch. Any chance that he was going to just bow to Angel's demands had flown out the window with the vampire's manhandling.
"Oh dear."
The low voice garnered the attention of the struggling men. A figure Xander hadn't noticed in all the violent awakening was leaning over the bed, shining a small penlight into Spike's eyes. Xander made a move to get closer, but Angel slammed him into the wall again.
"What's wrong with him?" Angel growled out.
The doctor hurried around the bed to check the IV, and finding it unhooked from Spike's arm, he looked up sharply.
"How long has this been out?"
"Um, most of the night?" Xander offered, confused.
"Idiot boy," Angel shook him once more before shoving him into a chair and turning his back to talk to the doctor.
"Will he be alright?"
"He has gone into a coma," the doctor sighed. "We had hoped to avoid this, but with an injury this bad, it is not unusual. The IV was to aid in the healing and prevent this."
"But he'll be alright?" Xander's question echoed Angel's.
"No thanks to you," Angel's voice was low and deadly.
"Hey, not the guy who pulled it out here! And if your state of the art hospital here," Xander sneered, "had a single fucking nurse or doctor on duty, maybe somebody could have put it back in!"
"No one was here?" Angel's concerned look settled Xander down a bit.
"I looked," Xander shrugged. "No dice. Didn't want to wander too far, leave him alone too long." His hooded gaze slipped over to consider the small form on the bed as he remembered why he didn't want to leave Spike.
Angel stalked out of the room.
"He's scheduled to have twenty-four hour care." The doctor became nervous. "This never should have happened. Mr. Angel is not going to be pleased."
Xander rolled his eyes. Another lackey that Angel clearly had under his thumb.
"There's a pile of dust on the floor of the nurses' station."
Angel's return caused Xander to jump. Damn undead sneaky guys. Wait. Dust?!
"The nurse was a vampire?" He couldn't help the incredulous tone.
"I want two nurses on duty at all times," Angel snapped the order at the doctor. "And I'm holding you responsible for making that happen." The doctor nodded and hurried out of the room, pulling a cell phone out of his coat pocket and dialing as he went. Angel pulled out his phone and hit a button. "Harmony, get security down to the medical floor. Now." He flipped the phone shut.
"Let's try this again," he turned to Xander, and flashbacks of Angelus in another hospital many years ago screened in Xander's mind. "What happened last night?"
Xander rubbed his face and let out a sigh.
"Spike had a nightmare. He pulled out the IV. I woke him up. He went back to sleep."
"And you crawled into bed with him?"
"More comfortable than this chair." He tapped his hand against the metal arm.
"You didn't hear anything?"
"Not until the IV stand went crashing," Xander admitted, pushing away the familiar sense of failure that taunted him.
Angel looked at him skeptically, but accepted the less than forthcoming answer. The ding of the elevator saved Xander from further questioning as Angel moved into the hallway with an impressive display of vampiric speed.
Alone with Spike once more, Xander moved to the side of the bed and stroked the cool cheek. Spike is in a coma. Sure it's a healing vampire coma, but shit. That wasn't supposed to happen, and he had let it. The doctor had reinserted the IV, and Xander hoped that the damage would soon be reversed. Fuck. Like things hadn't been confusing enough. Now instead of providing comfort, he realized that his refusal to leave Spike's side had instead threatened his life.
"I'll do better," he vowed quietly. "I won't let you down again." Silently, he continued to brush a gentle hand over the soft hair, willing strength into the still figure.
Several minutes later, Angel returned with two people following him. The large man stood taller and wider than the vampire while the slight woman seemed to glide along behind him.
"This is Xander." Angel pointed. "He's allowed to be here. Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Lorne, and me. These are the only other people who get into this room." The pair nodded and moved to stand outside the door.
"You think this is deliberate, don't you." Xander spoke quietly. "That someone's after Spike."
"We're just taking precautions. It could very well be that someone had a gripe against Julia. It's not entirely unusual for vampire employees to turn up dust." Angel moved to stand on the other side of the bed.
"But you think someone's after Spike."
Angel stared down at his comatose grand-childe. His chest tightened, and he thought involuntarily of the comatose Cordelia in the human wing of the medical floor.
"What happened with Dana?"
"What?" Angel shook himself out of his pending brood.
"Andrew couldn't tell me much about what happened between Spike and Dana. And Spike didn't say much either. But that's what got him in here, and then there's the whole dusted vamp thing. Kinda a slayer-type clue."
"I don't know it all," Angel admitted. "She saw him as someone who tortured her, but she also saw what he did to the two slayers he killed."
"She's a psychic psychotic?"
"Somehow I doubt it."
"So how did she…?"
"I'll get Wes on it." Angel turned to leave. "Will you…will you stay with him?"
Xander gave a lop-sided smile. "Not much of anywhere else to go. Came straight here from the airport."
Angel looked at him, nodded. "I'll have them bring another bed in." He left.
"Some food would be nice, too." Xander called after the retreating back. Shaking his head over the nearly civil conversation that they had managed, he returned to his post beside Spike's bed.
Within ten minutes another bed had been rolled in, and another nurse showed up to check Spike's injuries, all of his injuries, which involved nakedness. Not wanting to invade the vampire's privacy—or to feed his own temptations—he opted to take that time to slip into the shower, using the coldest water he could stand. No jerking off in the vampire's room. ‘Cause wouldn't that lead to some fun conversations. Chilled but clean, he enjoyed trading the travel clothes that he had spent the night in for clean jeans and a t-shirt. When he got out of the small bathroom, the nurse had gone, but a tray of food sat next to the empty bed.
Xander tucked in to the steak, mentally thanking Angel for sending him not only something to eat, but something that clearly exceeded any hospital standards he had had the pleasure of in the past.
"Anyone'd think you're still a growing boy."
The weak voice caused Xander to drop his fork and his jaw.
"Don't need to see the evidence, mate." Spike chuckled low. Xander snapped his mouth shut, swallowed quickly and moved over to the vampire's bed.
"How ya feeling?"
"Peachy." Spike closed his eyes, clearly already weary.
Xander reached out to stroke the tousled head, but pulled back. He wasn't sure how the gesture would be received in the light of day. He fisted his hands together in his lap instead.
"Spike?"
"Yeah, pet?" Spike opened his eyes to meet a sorrowful brown one.
"I'm really sorry."
Spike's brow furrowed in confusion. "For what?"
Xander took a deep breath.
"It's my fault you ended up, you know, all coma-like. I tried to find a doctor or a nurse or somebody, but the place was deserted, and not in the happy, everyone's gone home for the night kinda way. And I'm not much for the needles myself, even though I've been in the hospital enough to earn a frequent flyer kidney transplant or something." He looked up when he heard Spike choking.
Suppressed laughter quickly became a cough, and Xander rolled his eye as he offered a glass of water from the table beside the bed. Spike sipped and then lay back.
"S'not your fault. Didn't pull the bloody thing out, did you?"
"Do you," Xander paused, "do you remember what happened?"
Spike visibly shuddered and turned away.
"Never mind, you just woke up and all. You should get some rest. I'll just, uh, be over there." Xander got up.
"Xan."
"Yeah." Xander didn't turn around, half-afraid to see the look that went with that sad voice.
"I remember."
At that Xander moved back to the side of the bed and sat down.
"Some nightmare, eh?"
"Yeah."
Silence was marked only by the sound of squeaking footsteps from the hall outside.
"It was more than that, though. Wasn't it." Xander spoke quietly.
Spike shrugged, then grimaced as the movement jostled his healing arms.
"Jeez, Spike, give me something to work with here." Xander ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation.
"What? Gonna save poor Spike from the big nasty dreams?"
"You were talking to invisible people or to one invisible person at least. And that's so a part of my life I don't want to revisit. You…you asked me to kill you." Xander looked at his hands, hands that at one time would have gladly pressed a stake through the vamp's heart. "That's not just a bad dream."
"Why didn't you?"
"What?"
"Kill me," the vampire spoke at barely a whisper.
"Dammit Spike, you saved the world." Xander nearly shouted before bringing his voice under control. "Makes it hard to wanna just stake you. Besides, it's a little bit hard to see you as dangerous with your ass hanging out of a hospital gown."
"My arse does not…" Spike's glare turned into an embarrassed grin as Xander smirked knowingly at him. "Git."
"So now we know why I didn't stake you. Gonna tell me why you want me to?"
"Just crazy talk."
"Nuh uh. We're not gonna just brush this off. Something was here last night. Even plain old human me could tell that much, and if I'm gonna be bunking here, then I'd like to know what invisible visitors might pop in."
"You're staying?" Spike grasped onto the words.
"Way to focus on the most important part of all that, but yes," Xander gestured to the other bed, "Angel set me up with a bed and everything."
"You should go. S'not safe here."
"Well, duh. Empire of evil lawyers. I knew that when I walked in the door."
"No, you stupid wanker, it's not safe here, with me."
"Let's see. Do you want to bite me?"
"No!" Spike looked appalled at the suggestion.
"Then so far, it looks like the only danger here is falling under your evil spell and staking you." He waggled his eyebrows, then blushed furiously as he considered what he just said.
"Thought about staking me, have you?" Spike raised an eyebrow. The wave of pheromones startled him, and he filed that bit of information away to consider another time.
"With a piece of wood, I mean, er a wooden stake." Xander's flush deepened.
"Sorry, pet. Just having a bit of fun." Spike took pity as the arousal he sensed was overpowered by embarrassment.
"And now it's my turn to change the subject. Why won't you tell me what happened last night?"
"'Cause it's not like I like being crazy again, alright? Spent the last year being the puppet for some ghosty evil. Not really up for a round of here we go again." Spike fumed.
"Then tell me about it and let's get with the research, make for some evil ass-kicking." Xander offered reasonably.
"You're not gonna let up on this, are you." The vampire nearly growled at him.
"Nope." Xander answered cheerfully. Angry Spike meant that he was here, not despairing, and that meant that maybe they could get to discovering what was going on.
"Fine."
Silence stretched.
Xander sighed, "You're afraid it's The First again, aren't you?"
The First. The name lingered in the air between them, enveloping them with memories, wounds, friends lost.
"Never should have come out of that bloody amulet." Spike grumbled.
Xander ignored the comment. "We don't know that's what it is."
"Crazy dreams, talking to invisible beasties? Sounds bloody familiar." Spike shuddered. "In the dreams—and yeah, they've been going on for a while now—in the dreams, there's this black bint, all dreadlocks and crazy war paint, wearing bandages or some such thing."
A hitch in Xander's breath caused the vampire to look up sharply.
"What"
"Nothing, go on."
Spike narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but continued. "Crazy warrior-bitch stalks me, tells me I shouldn't be here, that I'm an aberration who should have been destroyed. She says I've killed her and I have to be punished. But I've never seen her before, don't remember killing anyone like her. Then she stakes me. Sometimes in Buffy's basement, sometimes in me crypt. Sometimes she burns me in the sunlight, in the desert somewhere. Always in my dreams. But last night, I saw her here. After you woke me up." Spike stopped abruptly as the terror of being out of control once again flooded him. He fought it off and continued. Best to get this all out and over with. "She was here, showing me the slayers I killed, all the victims that they would have saved if it hadn't been for me." Guilt replaced the fear. "And she's right. Killing a slayer isn't just about killing a single girl. It means killing everybody she coulda saved."
Xander considered the vampire before him. His heart clenched as he heard the truth in Spike's words. Slayers lived to protect, and without that protection, people died. He had seen the guilt that Spike carried for the victims he had killed directly, and he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to add the nameless, numberless guilt on top of that already heavy burden. He reached out to grip the slim shoulder.
"Spike, listen to me. Those things happened, yeah. But what about the fact that you being here now means that people are getting saved. What happens to them when you're not here?"
A slow tear tracked down the vampire's pale cheek.
"Not sure I can do it again, Xan."
"Do what again?"
"Fight it off. Took everything I had last time, even got dusted. Not sure I can do that again." Sorrow colored the words.
"Spike," Xander shook him urgently, "This is not The First. Well, it's a First, just not that First."
Spike squinted at him as he tried to work through the babble.
"It's not the First Evil. It's the First Slayer."
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Cause and Effect