• 1-Metamorphosis
• 2-Chapter Two
• 3-Chapter Three
• 4-Chapter Four
• 5-Chapter Five

Title: Metamorphosis

Author: ~Maitresse a.k.a. ciceronian

Email: ciceronian@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I am not Joss Whedon, I own nothing.

Pairing: Xander/Angel

Spoilers: Up through Buffy Episode: Entropy and through the Third Season Finale of Angel.

Distribution: XanderSlash, SlashingXander, StepAwayFromMyXander, Aff.net

Feedback: Please! I beg of you!

Summary: Xander is turned into a girl thanks to a wish from Buffy and a certain Vengeance Demon. He runs away from Sunnydale, ends up in LA, and who should he run into?

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A/N: This is a response to a challenge issued by Fuzzy on XanderSlash.

A/N: I'd also like to thank my Beta, Aeval, who is wonderful.

A/N: Last, I promise, some of this dialogue was taken straigrom rom the episode Deep Down so if you recognize it, I didn't write it.

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Fred allowed Lorne to lead her back to the seat and they sat quietly. Lorne appeared to be listening for something rather attentively. A few more minutes passed before he turned to her, the grave expression seemed out of place on Lorne’s face. When he spoke Lorne’s voice was low, barely above a whisper. “Connor was involved in Angel’s disappearance.”

Fred nearly yelled out in her shock when she remembered that the boy in question was just upstairs. “But he seems so torn up and worried about Angel and Cordelia. How could he be involved? Are you sure Lorne?”

Lorne nodded, “I didn’t see anything about Cordy, but the kid definitely arranged Angel’s disappearance. We need to restrain him and soon. I’d rather not visualize what the kid would do if he discovers we know he planned Angel’s disappearance. And I’m not sure how much longer Angel can last like that and remain the sane Angel-cakes we know and love.”

Fred couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Where is Angel?”

Lorne shook his head. “Not now. We need to take care of Connor first and then we’ll talk.”

When Gunn spoke his voice startled Fred, she hadn’t realized that he had come in during the conversation. “Angel has manacles in the basement.” Two blank stares were turned on Gunn at those words. “Angel has them in case Angelus ever gets out again. If they’ll hold Angelus, they’ll hold Connor.”

Lorne’s voice still remained a whisper but it was heavily dosed with sarcasm. “How are we going to get him down there. We can’t just ask him to come downstairs and lock himself in chains.”

“I’ll go.” After Fred spoke, Gunn looked as if he was going to argue with her but she shook her head. “I’m the only one he won’t suspect. He doesn’t trust Lorne because he is a demon and he doesn’t trust you. I’m our best option.”

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Fred knocked on the door and waited for Connor to respond. “What?”

Opening the door Fred spotted Connor on the bed playing a video game. Staying in the doorway, she held up the tray that held a sandwich and glass of milk. “Brought you a snack.”

“I'm not hungry.” This was said with a pout and Fred could barely control herself from hitting him. All this time he had known where Angel was, had in fact been the cause of it. She steeled herself not to show any anger. Laughing, she joked with him. “You're always hungry.”

Fred walked into the room and Connor set the game on the bed beside him before asking suspiciously. “What is it?”

“Bologna.”

A small hopeful smile that Fred would have found endearing not two hours ago appeared on his face before he inquired, “No tomatoes?”

“No tomatoes.”

Connor sat up and reached for the tray, but Fred shook her head and pulled it back. “What do you say?”

“Thank you.”

Smiling at him, Fred replied. “Your welcome.”

As Fred watched, Connor tore into the sandwich faster than even she could. Setting the tray down on the nightstand she reached over and stroked a hand through Connor's hair.
“I can't imagine what you've been through, Connor, being taken away by Holtz, raised in that place. It must have been horrible. I know you're still hurting but - I promise, it's not nearly as much as you're gonna hurt for what you did to your father.”

Connor stopped chewing and looked up at her just as she tightened her hand in his hair before pushing the Taser against his chest and firing the electric current. He arched his back, screaming out in pain until losing consciousness.

Gunn walked down the stairs of the hotel with Connor, unconscious, in his arms. When Angel had told him about the manacles Gunn had never thought he’d be using them on Angel’s son. Once he entered the basement it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark room. Then once they had, Fred or Lorne flicked on a switch and he blinked at the brightness. Walking across the room to the wall, Gunn set Connor on the ground. He clasped first one wrist and then the other into the iron cuffs. Next he attached cuffs to each ankle. A speculative tug on the chains proved that they would hold.

Gunn followed Lorne and Fred up the stairs into the lobby. Lorne took up a seat on the circular cushion and Fred joined him moments later. Gunn chose to stand beside the open basement door so he could both listen to Lorne and keep an eye on Connor. “I saw Angel standing on a cliff.”

Fred interrupted Lorne with a hand on his shoulder. “Angel and Cordy were going to meet that night at Point Dume. It’s where his car was found.”

Lorne nodded before continuing. “I didn’t see Cordelia. Connor showed up and used a Taser on Angel until he fell unconscious. He then signaled a ship. Justine and Connor placed Angel in a coffin and dumped him into the ocean.”

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“We should rent a boat and begin looking. I’m sure there is equipment that would pick up a metal coffin. We can get the boat tomorrow and begin looking at sundown.” When Gunn finished giving his opinion, Lorne seemed to agree with his idea but Fred was shaking her head.

“I think we should call—”

Gunn interrupted, he was growing agitated that she had no confidence in his abilities. Ever since the disappearance Fred had been going on about how ‘we should call Wes’ and he was growing tired of it. “No.”

After a moment’s silence Fred spoke. “Well, I'm glad we talked it over.”

“Fred, Wesley doesn't give a damn about us.”

Fred looked as if she was near tears and Gunn was surprised by the fact that it didn’t bother him. “Have we given him a reason to?”

“He's made his choice. Now he has to live with it.” Gunn’s tone clearly said he would not tolerate an argument.

Lorne could tell that a fight between the two was looming on the horizon but now was not the time. “I agree with Gunn.” After a brief pause Lorne continued. “A buddy of mine has a boat and even better, he’ll be able to detect metal of that size even through the water. Why don’t Gunn and I go pay him a visit? Fredikins, you can stay here and keep an eye on Connor. If those chains were meant for Angelus, it’ll be fine.”

Gunn and Lorne left a few minutes later. Neither saying goodbye as they left in a hurry. She knew that what she was planning on doing was going to make Gunn upset but she would just have to show them that they needed Wesley. Picking up the phone she dialed his apartment, sighing in frustration when the answering machine clicked on.

“Um…Wesley. It’s Fred…can you please call me back as soon as you get this message.” Hanging up the receiver Fred jumps as she hears a shout from the basement. Walking down the stairs she picked up the Taser she had used on him earlier. When she entered the basement Connor was moaning slightly. She couldn’t help what came out of her mouth. “You think that's what Angel felt? When you did it to him? Did he scream like you?"

“Why are you doing this?” His voice was set in an innocent tone and Fred nearly shivered at the fear she felt. What could have happened to Gunn or her left in his presence, what could have happened to Angel if Lorne hadn’t returned from Vegas? “Don’t even try to pretend. Lorne got a vision from your humming. He saw what you did.”

She took a breath trying to control her anger but it escaped her. “He's been down there, all alone, for three weeks - and you knew! How could you do that to us?”

Taking a step closer to Conner, Fred held the Taser outstretched in her hand, she was irritated to see her hand shaking a little. “We took you into our home. We cared for you, and all this time... How could you do that?!”

Connor continued to stare at her, his expression giving nothing away. Hatred welled up in her fiercely and she brought the Taser against Connor's chest again. His back arched and he began screaming once more. “How could you do that?! I would have done anything for you. Now all I wanna do is hurt you, make you pay for what you did.”

“Go ahead. Hurt me some more, Fred.”

The tone in his voice was egging her on and she so desperately wanted to allow herself to let go but she needed to be strong. “Shut up!”

He scoffed at her. “You think I care? You get used to it.”

Fred stared at him in horror. “You don't feel anything, do you? There's nothing inside.”

He continued in the earlier vein, trying to make her angry. “Why don't you open me up and find out.”

Fred stared at this…person before her. “How could you do that to your father?”

“That thing is not my father.”

“Angel is your father and he is one of the best people I have ever met. He saved my life.” Fred briefly allowed herself to remember the time in Pylea.

Connor’s voice was full of hatred when he spoke. “He got what he deserved.”

Fred spoke, her voice quiet. “And how soon before I deserved it? Or Gunn?”

Connor stared at her with no expression again. The phone ringing felt like a blessing and Fred rushed upstairs, praying all the way that it was Wesley. When she picked it up she forced herself to answer with the normal greeting. “Angel Investigations, we help the helpless.”

“I need to speak to Angel.” The voice on the other end was definitely not Wesley’s and Fred’s heart sank.

“He’s not in at the moment. Can I help you?” Fred knew that she couldn’t turn away someone if they needed help.

“Tell him it’s about Will and he can contact Alexandra at Harem.” The woman hung up after that and Fred could only stare in confusion at the now dead line. What kind of message was that? Shrugging her shoulders Fred grabbed the pad of paper and a pencil and wrote down the message. It would have to wait until Angel was rescued, hopefully he’d understand what it was about.

She didn’t know what to do now. She was certainly not going back downstairs. There was nothing to do but wait and pray Wesley called back soon. A few minutes passed and the phone rang, Fred told herself not to get her hopes up as she reached for the phone. “Angel Investigations, we help the helpless.”

“Fred, it’s Wesley.”

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“I’ll be there soon.” Hanging up the phone Wesley turned to Lilah. “You need to leave.”

“Running off to your friends? Little miss doe-eyed Winifred may appreciate that you’ll come running but none of the others will. They hate you.” Lilah crossed her arms and continued to stand there. Wesley grabbed his keys and a coat before opening the door. He waited for her to move but after a minute she still remained in the same spot. Gripping her upper arm he propelled her out of the apartment and into the hall. Locking the door he left without a backward glance.

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Gunn and Lorne watched as Mael trailed his fingers in the cold water of the Pacific Ocean. Mael had agreed to lend them the boat and his expertise for the night but only tonight. He was leaving in the morning so Lorne and Gunn had jumped at the offer. As he steered the ship Gunn was waiting for a signal from either demon for him to stop the boat. This continued as they got further and further from the beach until finally Lorne called out for him to stop.

Gunn cut the engine and headed towards Mael who had dropped both hands into the water and began chanting in another language. Mael was interesting to say nothing else, his skin was copper and shiny and his eyes, all four of them, were like molten silver. His hair was gold and shiny as well. At least the only thing that was shining off him was the moon. Gunn didn’t want to think what the guy would be like to look at in the daytime.

From what Lorne had told him, Mael could manipulate metals. Gunn had jokingly asked “like Magneto?” Lorne had shrugged and said “even more powerful.” As Gunn watched with a flashlight poised on the water he saw a large shape coming towards the surface. A large coffin-shape, they had found Angel.

It was an amazing thing to watch as Mael lifted the coffin from the water and placed it on the deck. Barely moments passed before he had removed the lid of the coffin. The cords holding Angel immobile were gone as well. Suddenly Angel's hand shot up and grabbed Lorne by the throat.

Gunn stepped forward to help Lorne just as Angel's eyes snapped open. Gunn watched as a look of confusion graced Angel’s face as his eyes focused on Lorne. Gunn gently captured Angel’s wrist and set it back against his chestP>
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Once Angel was out of the coffin Mael lifted the thing again and tossed it back into the Pacific Ocean. Gunn wasn’t sure that they should be dumping things into the ocean but they had more important things to deal with. Gunn lifted Angel up and carried him into the cabin, not an easy feat but the last few weeks had thinned Angel a bit. Lorne entered the cabin and pulled out some glass jars filled with dark liquid.

Mael seemed to shudder as he asked. “Blood?”

Gunn nodded, “From the blood bank. It’s tainted so it’s useless to them but none of the diseases will hurt Angel. And he needs human blood.”

Gunn lifted Angel's head, cradling it with one hand as he held the jar Lorne had handed him up to Angel’s mouth with his other hand. Mael informs them that he will steer the boat back to the mainland and disappears. Angel begins to drink and by the time they arrive at the dock he has gone through seven of the nine jars they brought with them. And he is at least coherent.

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When they entered the hotel, Gunn and Lorne were both supporting Angel who was a little weak. Aside from that the three weeks had not done as much damage as they had feared. Lorne had apparently heard stories of brain damage in Vampires who had gone too long without feeding.

The lobby was empty, Fred was nowhere to be seen. Angel spoke first, “Where’s Connor?”

“He’s downstairs. We locked him into the manacles, couldn’t take the chance that he’d turn on us.” Angel nodded, appearing to believe that this had been a smart idea.

Angel began walking towards the basement, his stride much steadier than a few moments ago. Gunn and Lorne followed him. When they entered the basement Connor was sitting up against the wall, shackles still in place. “Where’s Fred?”

Connor looked between Gunn, Lorne, and Angel before replying. “She left with Wesley about two hours ago.”

Gunn couldn’t believe the amount of anger that rushed through him. He had asked her repeatedly not to and she still went running to him. As Gunn watched, Angel crossed the room to Connor and unclasped the cuffs. Angel pulled over two chairs and sat them across from one another before speaking. “Sit…down.”

Connor took a step back his eyes never leaving Angel. “You're too weak to take me.”

“You really think that?”

Connor stayed motionless for another moment, his eyes still locked on Angel before sitting down in one of the chairs. Angel sank into the chair and heaved a sigh. “So…how has your summer been so far? Mine has been fun. Saw some fish. Went a bit mad with hunger. Hallucinated a whole bunch.”

Connor’s eyes continued to bore into Angel’s and he still showed no remorse. “You deserved worse.”

“Because I killed Holtz...except I didn't. I tried telling you that while you were busy offshore dumping me. I’m still not sure what happened but believe me, I will find out.”

A moment passed before Connor replied. “Even if…you still deserved it.”

“What I deserve is open to debate. But understand there is a difference between wishing vengeance on someone…and taking it.” Angel paused briefly. “So now…the questions becomes: what do you deserve?”

All of a sudden Connor shot up from his seat and tried to get to the stairs. Angel seized him and threw Connor against the wall. Angel’s voice and expression remained unruffled the entire time. “Daddy's not finished talking.”

Connor sat crumpled with the wall holding him up and Angel squatted down beside him. “Gunn told me everything that's been going on. So, as far as I'm concerned what you deserve rests on one answer,” Angel leaned closer to Connor, their faces barely inches apart. “Did you do something to Cordelia?”

Connor strongly denied it. “No.”

Lorne and Angel were quiet for a moment so Gunn decided they should test him. “He's lying.”

Connor stared at Angel, eyes looking beseechingly up at him. “No, I'm not.”

Gunn decided to try again. “No way she just happened to disappear the same night.”

Connor concentrated his gaze on Angel. “I'm telling the truth, okay?”

Quietly Angel spoke,” I know…I can tell.”

Angel slowly moved to a standing position and drew back from Connor a bit. “You've done enough lying for me to know the difference. The truth has a better sound to it, less nasal, you know? Get up.”

Connor stood up, his eyes still warily on Angel. “What you did to me…was unbelievable, Connor…but then I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years, so three weeks under the ocean actually gave me perspective. Kind of a M. C. Esher perspective…but I did get time to think. About us, about the world.” Angel stopped for a moment and looked at Connor. “Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be…it's harsh, and cruel…but that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be.”

Angel looked down at Connor with disappointment. “You're not a part of that yet…I hope you will be.” Angel walked over to stand facing Connor. When he spoke his voice was eerily gentle. “I love you, Connor…now get out of my house.”

Connor was up the stairs and gone after a moment. Angel looked back at Lorne and Gunn, “Have I thanked the two of you yet?”

“Yes Angel-cakes, once on the boat and three times on the drive over. Let’s get you upstairs and I’m sure you could use a le moe more blood.” Angel nods at Lorne’s words and all three guys head up the stairs and into the lobby. Lorne wanders off to heat up some blood for Angel. Gunn takes a seat at the circular cushion. Even though he wasn’t an Empath Demon he could read Gunn loud and clear. He was upset with Fred about Wesley. Not that Angel was happy she had gone to him but maybe it was what she had thought best at the time. Truthfully, he had never understood Gunn and Fred as a couple he had always thought that Wesley and Fred would be the two to get together.P>
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When Lorne returned and handed Angel a mug full of warmed blood, Angel thanked him before moving towards the counter. A phone message was sitting on the desk.

Alexandra called, re: Will, Contact her at Harem? Fred.

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Justine was struggling against her bonds. Wesley pulled roughly on the ropes causing Justine to cry out in pain. “You think she would be disappointed?”

“Who?”

“Your sister.” Wesley knew he had hit the spot as Justin turned away from Fred and him. “That's where it all began, isn't it? Sister murdered by a vampire, consumed by a need of revenge..."

Justine whirled around to confront him. “For justice!”

Wesley tightened his hold on Justine, mindful of not scaring Fred with the force he used against Justine. “Is that what you call it? Turning a son against his father."

“Angel got what he deserved.”

Fred continued to remain quiet, it was unusual for her. He looked over and was shocked at the anger directed towards Justine visible on her face. If he didn’t wrap this up soon, he was afraid Fred would attack her and he didn’t think the woman’s death would rest light on Fred’s hands. “We all get what we deserve.” Reaching into his pocket he removed a knife and placed it against her throat. “Would you like to know how it felt?”

“You kill me, you kill Cordelia.”

TBC...please review