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Know Who I Am	By : Paigie Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4757 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Chapter List
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We finally got a lead. I cannot believe we finally got a lead on where those vampires are staying. Faith and I went to Willy’s and beat up on him for a little while, and he told us where they might be staying. It’s near the warehouse Spike and Drusilla stayed when they were trying to take over Sunnydale. We’re headed there now because this can’t wait. I called Giles, told him where we’ll be, and Faith called Mom and asked her to look after Sam for a little while longer.
We’re not stupid, this mission is completely recon. If those vamps are as nasty as they’re rumored to be than we won’t be attacking until after we’ve seen how many there are. Then I’m thinking something with fire might be the way to take these things out. Maybe block all the doors and light the whole building on fire. Huh, maybe I need to be a little worried about this. Lighting my school gym on fire was what got me expelled from Hemery, and now I’m thinking of doing the exact same thing to a building that’s potentially full of vampires. Maybe I have some weird, deep seeded need to light things on fire. Yeah, I’m not going to analyze that right now, or ever.
Faith lets out a sigh, and I glance over at her. She’s been frustrated all day. I have a little bit of an idea why she’s been on edge, but I’m not completely sure. We haven’t sparred together for a few days. By a few days, I mean fifteen days. Since Willow and I had that talk in the library, and I found out that when we spar it’s very sexually charged. Finding out that Xander has to leave to…relieve himself really wigged me out, and now I don’t want to spar.
So we haven’t sparred, and we can’t have sex so it’s an understatement to say that we’ve both been on edge lately. Faith really wants to beat up on something. She’s hoping there won’t be very many vampires at the warehouse so we can get in right away, and get in a good fight. I really don’t think that’s going to happen. Everything we’ve learned says they’re going to be strong, organized, and a lot of them. I had to make her promise to control herself, and I even played the Sam card, which I felt like crap doing, but it was very needed.
“Are you alright?” I ask, and have to force myself not to cringe. Why would I ask that? I’m practically asking her to start a fight. I glance over at her, and she looks so tense. I’m seriously considering taking her behind that giant oak tree, and having a quickie. I really think she might have a stroke if she doesn’t calm down soon. She lets out another sigh, and runs a hand through her hair. That’s always a bad sign. She’s definitely ready to explode, and not in a good way.
“Yeah, B, I’m fine. Just anxious to get this over with,” she says, and runs a hand through her hair again. She looks over at me and the look in her eyes is completely feral. She runs her gaze up and down my body before looking away. I can’t believe one look like that can heat me up and make goose-bumps erupt all over my body. “Just haven’t had much action lately. Was kinda hoping to get in a good sparring session today, but we never got to.” Yeah, because that wasn’t extremely passive aggressive. I also feel really guilty because she’s right. I keep making excuses not to spar or train with her at all so all of this tension is my fault.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve had a…good sparring session, but it’s just kind of weird now,” I say and cringe. Now she’s going to ask a lot of questions, and I still haven’t told her that all of our friends know we’re a couple. Well, Willow knows and I’m sure by now she’s told Oz, but I don’t think Xander knows for sure. I glance over at her, and she’s looking at me with that confused look on her face that makes her look adorable. I really wanna kiss that little wrinkle she gets on her face when her eyebrows are all scrunched up. I can’t, though, because it won’t just stay one chaste kiss.
“What are you talking about, B? It’s never been weird before,” she says and I might as well be honest with her. She’s going to find out sooner or later and I think it being sooner might make the fight a little less explosive. And yes, it pretty much is a guarantee that we’re going to fight. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as I’m thinking it’s going to be. I doubt it because that’s just how things work out for me.
“It’s weird because of something Willow said,” I tell her and now she looks even more confused. Trust me when I say it isn’t just Faith that really needs to get laid. This situation is driving me crazy too, I’m just better at being subtle about it. “Look, there’s something I need to tell you and you’re not going to like it so just let me get it all out and then you can react, ok?” She lets out an agitated sigh and I can’t blame her. Asking her not to react to something is like trying to stop the snow from falling by aiming a hair dryer at the sky and running it on high.
“Alright, B, I’ll play along. What is it I’m not gonna like?” she says and thank God she agreed so quickly or this would be an even bigger disaster. I let out a little sigh of my own and now that I have the chance to tell her I have no idea what to say. I’ve wanted to tell her since that night, but I’m too much of a coward, which is kind of crazy if you think about it. I face all kinds of monsters on a weekly basis, but trying to talk to my almost-girlfriend paralyzes me. Go figure.
“Ok, so, you know Willow?” I ask and she nods, and trust me she doesn’t look amused by my attempt at stalling. “Ok, well she knows about us. She’s known for a while. Back when things were getting really hard between us I had to talk to someone and I didn’t know what else to do.” She looks pissed but she’s keeping her word not to react until I’m done. “And I was studying with her for that math test and she kinda told me that everyone else has pretty much guess that we’re a couple. And when I say everyone, I mean that even Giles knows.” She looks over at me and her eyes are kinda like she looks shocked. Yeah, if even Giles knows that we weren’t being sneaky at all.
“So what’s all this gotta do with you not wanting to spar?” she asks and she doesn’t sound as mad as she looks. I wonder why she’s not freaking out. Normally Faith has big emotional reactions when she first hears bad news, or at least news she doesn’t want to hear, and when the dust settles she’s more rational about it, but right now she’s not doing that. Maybe she really is trying to keep herself calm because I asked her to. I’m not going to draw attention to it, though. I have enough to deal with at the moment.
“Well, when I was talking to Willow, she mentioned something about the way we spar,” I tell her and let out a little sigh. I really hope she doesn’t start teasing Xander about this because I really don’t think he could handle that. Plus it would be really embarrassing for everyone involved. “She said that when we spar there’s this weird sexual tension, and sometimes Xander has to leave so he can…relieve the tension it creates.” I’m blushing so hard now my face feels like it’s going to explode.
“Are you serious?” she asks and I nod my head. She starts laughing. At first it’s a small giggle because she’s trying to respect my ‘please don’t react until I’m done’ request, but I guess she can’t handle it. “I’m so going to give him shit about this.” I really wish she wouldn’t. I just want this to go away as quickly and quietly as possible. If she’s making fun of him all the time then it’s never going to go away. And if Xander knows we know what he’s sneaking off to do I won’t be able to ever look him in the eyes again.
“Faith, please don’t do that. I will be your slave for a week if you don’t tease Xander,” I say and as soon as those words are out of my mouth I regret it. The look she gets on her face is…predatory would be a good word for it. Like the way a fox looks at a hen house before sneaking inside and taking what she wants.
“My slave, huh?” she asks, and her eyes trail up and down the length of my body. I can practically see the wheels turning in her mind, and I unintentionally gulp. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, I’m a slayer who kills demons for a living, but the way she’s staying at me and the way she’s walking towards me makes me feel like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi-truck. You know what, I misspoke. She isn’t walking towards me. She’s stalking me, and it sets my nerve endings on fire.
“Ok, maybe slave is going a little too far, but I will pay you back in some way in the very near future if you don’t tease Xander about his…extracurricular activity,” I say, my voice sounds so timid and small. Ok, what is happening to me? Yes, Faith is extremely hot, and right now she looks like a sexy jungle cat about to lunge on its prey, but that shouldn’t turn me into this. I’m acting like a stereotypical, sheltered girl, and it’s really making me annoyed with myself. By the smirk on Faith’s face, I’d say she thinks it’s amusing.
“I don’t know, B, I kinda like this slave idea. Having you at my beck and call, and completely at my mercy sounds like it could make for a wicked good time,” she says and slowly licks her lips. Ok, she cannot be that worked up. There is no way on earth two weeks without sparring or sex could leave her feelings this way. Then again, Faith’s sex life has been completely different than mine. She was with Tanner for a very long time, so she’s used to sex on a regular basis, and now she can’t have any. Ok, I really need to change the subject since she really does look like she’s about to devour me.
“Faith, can we talk about this later? We need to see if Willy was telling the truth. We don’t want to keep my mom waiting too long or she’ll think we were breaking her new rules. Trust me, if she thinks that we’ll wish it was the end of the world,” I say and that kind of snaps her out of it. She still looks really turned on, but her gaze isn’t as intense, and her body is a little more relaxed now.
“Right,” she says with a little sigh, and runs her hand through her hair. A definite sign of frustration. We’re going to have to find some place to sneak off to. Yeah, my mom doesn’t me having sex, but we’re teenagers and we’re in love, finding places to have sex is something every teenager is practically born to do. “That was pretty low, B. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re afraid of little ol’ me.” She has the sweetest smile on her face right now, but I know it’s all bull. She’s baiting me, but I’m not going to bite.
“ Well you do know me, so there’s no reason to think that.” Ok, so maybe I’ll just take a little nibble. And I really need to not think the word ‘nibble’ around Faith because I’m getting some very naughty images in my head. Damn her and her undeniable sexiness. “Can we go now?” She takes a step back and makes a motion with her arm like she’s signally me to go first.
“Lead the way, girlfriend,” she says, and I roll my eyes a little before I start walking. She falls in step next to me and I slowly reach over and hold her hand. I know we’re both worked up right now so any type of physical contact probably isn’t a good idea right now, but I need to feel her, even if it’s just a hand. She lightly squeezes mine before entwining our fingers, and it makes me smile. I close a little of the space between us, and rest my head on her shoulder while we walk. I forgot how amazing this could feel.
I’ve been craving this type of affection, and she knows I have. I hate that we can only be like this when we’re alone. Willow and Oz get to hold hands, and sit closely, and sometimes she even sit on his lap, and no one but Snyder cares. I hate that I can’t do the same with my almost-girlfriend without it being a big deal. Even if our friends are supportive, it’s probably going to take them a while to get used to the whole girl-girl thing.
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Know Who I Am