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Heart's Desire	By : PencilNeck Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 9582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 32
- 33
- 34
Chapter 33:�
If You Leave

�You�re
sure?�� Giles peers down at Kennedy from
atop his new glasses.�

�I
don�t know anything for sure.�� Kennedy
rolls her eyes, un-crosses her legs.�
�But it�s got to be better than this.�

�There
isn�t much time.�� Giles reminds
her.� Fiddles with the paperweight on his
desk.

�Sooner
the better.�� Kennedy stands up.� �Before I can change my mind.��

********************

So,
you�re sure?�� Andrew can�t help but
think it�s too good to be true.

�I�m
not sure about anything.�� Dawn
sighs.� �But I think it�s the right
thing.�

�There�s
not much time, you know.�� Andrew
fidgets.�� It�s soon.�

�The
sooner the better.�� Dawn nods, her
decision made.�

********************

Giles
rifles through his desk.� The chaos has
returned to his small corner of the castle, and it seems he�s lost a very
important address.

�Am
I interrupting?�� Dr. Amani
smiles at him through the open door.

His
irritation dissipates almost immediately, the hunt abandoned and
forgotten.�

�Not
at all.�� Giles rushes to the chair
opposite his desk, quickly gathering up the parchments and books scattered on
the seat.� Once it�s acceptably empty, he
offers it to her.

�Thank
you.�� Adia
sits gracefully down.�

�Sorry
about the state of, well� erm� everything.�� Giles steps back behind his desk, pulling on
the hem of his shirt.� Runs his fingers
through his hair.� �It�s been a bit hectic��

�So
I have heard.�� Adia
looks at him with affection.� �Everyone
coming to my office has tales of long days and little sleep.� It is an epidemic.�

Giles
turns to face her.� He thinks she looks
strangely at home amongst his collection of rare and precious artifacts.� She is most definitely as beautiful.� He realizes that he�s thinking this, and his
face becomes flushed with red.� He looks
to the floor.

�To
what do I owe the pleasure, Dr. Amani?�� Giles manages to refrain from
stuttering.� Avoiding eye contact seems
to be the key.

�You
mentioned yesterday that you had something in your possession that I would find
most intriguing.�� Adia
turns her head to look around her.� �I
see now that you have many things that fall into that category.�

�Ah,
the particular item I was referring to��
Giles flits around his office, looking through every drawer, scattering
every shelf.� ��it�s something
quite�� He turns in mid-sentence,
hurrying back to his desk.� He disappears
behind it.� ��I had hoped you would� ah
here it is!�� Giles pops up, holding his
treasure aloft in his hand.

Adia stands, intrigued.

He
hands it to her, still wrapped in its fragile brown paper.� Rocking expectantly on the balls of his feet
as she unwraps it.

�This
is from my village.�� Adia
is too overwhelmed to do more than whisper.�
�How did you�� This is��

�I
believe so.�� Giles lowers his voice to
match hers.� �Our people caught up to it
in Mek�ele.�
Once I knew what it was, I had them send it here.�

Adia looks over the small earthenware pot, cracked in places but still
retaining its graceful form.� Tracing her
hands over the tribal designs she hasn�t seen since childhood.

�I
think you should have it.�� Giles can�t
look at her.� He knows this should be a
private moment.

�Oh,
I can�t�� Adia
can�t look away from it.� �It should be
in a museum.� I��

�I
believe that some things aren�t meant to be gawked at from behind glass. Dr. Amani.�� Giles takes
off his glasses.� �And I have done enough
research to know that it does in fact belong to you.�

Adia looks up sharply.�

�You
are the last in the lineage.�� Giles says
simply.

�Who
else knows about this?�� Adia asks carefully.

�Nobody.�� Giles replaces his glasses.� �The artifact came to me.� I have not spoken to anyone about it, and
don�t plan to.�

�Thank
you, Mr. Giles.�� Adia
looks relieved.� �For everything.�

�Now,
I do believe it�s time for lunch.�� Giles
reaches for his jacket.

�You
are quite right.�� Adia
places the priceless object reverently on Giles� desk.� �I shall come back for that after I have made
a safe place for it.� I am in your debt
Mr. Giles.�

�I�m
certain we can come up with something to even the score.�� Giles purses his lips to cover a thin
smile.� �For starters, you could honour
me with your presence in the dining hall.��

Adia smiles, nodding.�

�After
you,� Giles moves to the door, waiting at the threshold.� He smiles boyishly, extending his arm.� �Your Highness.�

�Really,
Mr. Giles!�� Adia
swats his arm.� �How do expect to keep my
secrets if you cannot stop teasing?�

�By
hiding you in plain sight,� Giles waits for her to finally take his arm.� �Princess.�

�That
is Doctor Princess to you.�

********************

Buffy
rolls over, pulling the sheets up over shoulder.� The bed is too cold, and too big.� And too empty.� She verifies her aloneness with a half opened
eye.� Pouting, she sits up.� Runs her tongue along her teeth.� Yanking her fingers through the tangles in
her hair.�

Making
a mental note to discuss her morning-after-the-first-time abandonment issues
with Faith, she drags herself out of bed.�
Yawning, she tiptoes to the bathroom, hugging her naked self.� It�s cold this morning.

A
few moments later, she pads back into the bedroom, her mouth filled with foam
and a pink Kim Possible toothbrush.� She
roots through her backpack for her gym gear.�
Her eyes happen to pass over the alarm clock.� It takes almost a full thirteen seconds for
the information to reach from her eyes to her brain.� Then she panics.

�Eleven
thirty-two?�� Buffy dumps the contents of
the bag onto the bed.� �I�m dead.�

No
workout clothes.� No clothes at all.� Not even a sock.� She�d been so tired last night.

�I�m
so dead!�� Buffy throws the backpack to
the floor.� Looks around
frantically.� She was wearing clothes
when she came in here last night.� They
have to be around somewhere.

She
searches the floor.� Under the bed, the
bathroom.� The dresser and the
closet.� Pulling and yanking at anything
in her way.�

�I
get it now.� We had sex!� Obviously Faith�s gone evil.� It�s the only explanation.�� Buffy talks to herself, yanking the chair so
hard it topples.� �She hid my clothes and
left me here to make me late!� And naked�
a-and insane!��

Huffing,
Buffy rips the sheets off the bed.� Lifts
her pillow, throwing it across the room.�
Wrenches Faith�s pillow from the bed.�

A
tiny white flutter.

Buffy
grabs at it.� Unscrunches
it.� There�s words scrawled on one side,
barely legible.

B,

Don�t freak.� Figured you could use a day off.� I got you covered.�

Meet me after?�

Buffy
stares down at it.� She frowns.� It�s definitely not Shakespeare, which is
good because Buffy never understood all that weird rhyming stuff.� But there�s something about it.� Buffy�s sure it means more than just what it
says.� Only, she can�t figure it
out.� She sighs.� Might as well be Shakespeare.

Buffy
folds the note in half.� It can�t really
fold more than that anyway.� She should
put it away somewhere.� Not a pocket,
since she�s all naked.� She looks
around...

Buffy
gapes at the chaos she�s created.�

�I�m
so, so dead!��

********************

�When
were you going to tell me?�� Willow is on
the verge of tears.

�Once
there was something to tell.�� Kennedy�s
not going to cave in.� �Now there is, so
I�m telling.�

�But�
but this is a talking thing!� Not a
telling thing.�� Willow gets
indignant.� �You don�t just wake up one
day and decide something like this!�
There�s supposed to be this whole part before that where you, oh, I dunno, maybe talk about it with YOUR GIRLFRIEND!�

�I
know it�s not fair to you.�� Kennedy
doesn�t raise her voice to match Willow�s.�
�But I have to do this��

�See, again with the �I have to� and the �I�m going to� and the �me, me, me�
that is you!�� Willow is crying and
yelling.� �We�re supposed to be a �we�!� Or an �us�.� I�m confused as to which one right now cos I�m just that angry!�

�I�m
sorry. �I didn�t mean to hurt you.�� Kennedy looks it, too.� �I�m doing everything wrong�� Saying everything wrong.�

�How
else could you have said it?�� Willow
gives up on yelling.� Concentrates on
crying.� �So, about the many, many years
of togetheriness?�
It�s not really working for me, and I can�t stand to be around you
anymore so I�m gonna go far, far away for a long,
long time.� No hard feelings?�

Kennedy
stares at her for a second, stunned.�
Then rushes over to the bed and wraps her arms around Willow, holding her
tight.

�Willow,
I�m not breaking up with you!�� Kennedy
wipes tears from her lover�s eyes.� �I
could never��

�But
you�ve been so...�� Willow won�t let
herself hope.� �And things have been kinda��

�I
know.�� Kennedy sighs, loosening her hold
on Willow just enough to see her face.�
�That�s why I have to go.� I can�t
be here anymore.� It�s� too much.�

�You
could try.�

�I
have been.�� Kennedy reacts to the
disbelief on Willow�s face.� �Will, I�ve
been trying every day.� I thought things
were getting better� but they�re not.�
Every day, it�s like� suffocating, you know?� Everything�s pushing in on me, and I can�t
breathe.� I don�t trust myself to lead my
team.� And I don�t trust myself� with
you.�

�With
me?�� Willow�s head unburies itself from
Kennedy�s shoulder.� �You would never do
anything to��

�Hurt
you?�� Kennedy raises a brow.� �I�ve been hurting you.� In all the ways that matter, and I don�t even
know I�m doing it until after I�ve done it.�
And I don�t want to do it anymore.�

�But�� Willow feels small.� �But� what if you go away and forget all
about me?�

�Never
happen.�� Kennedy turns Willow to face
her.� Locks into her eyes.� �Never.�

Kennedy
pulls her in, kissing her tear-stained cheeks.�
Kissing her trembling lips.�

Willow�s
arms fling themselves around Kennedy�s neck.�
Willow pushes herself against Kennedy�s body.� She�s been starved for so long, that now
she�s had a taste she can�t help but gorge herself.� She reaches for the hem of Kennedy�s shirt.

�Never
ever?�� Willow needs to know.

Kennedy
pushes Willow down on the bed.� Lifts
Willow�s skirt up above her thighs.� Runs
a hand heavily over the bare skin she hasn�t dared touch in weeks.� Hooks her forefinger into the waistband of
the sensible cotton underwear hiding under the pleated fabric.� Pulls gently, one side then the other.� Willow lifts up, and Kennedy slides them off.

Kennedy
leans in to kiss Willow�s thigh.� To kiss
and lick and nibble at the ticklish spots, and to move closer to the place they
both want her to be.� Without looking up,
without stopping, she murmurs.

�Never,
ever.�

********************

�Did
you know about this?�� Buffy accuses.

�Andrew
brought it to my attention this morning.��
Giles responds sternly.� �I agree
with him, much as it pains me to say it.�
I think it would do her a world of good.�

�Hello?� I�m actually in the room, you know!� And also,� Dawn crosses her arms.� �Not needing anyone�s permission.�

�Technically,
you need mine.�� Giles leans on his
desk.� �All transfers go through me.�

�Good.�� Dawn turns to her sister.� �See?�
I�m going.�

�Not
yet, you�re not.�� Buffy puts her hands
on her hips.� �I�m not gonna let you go marching off to god knows where, doing god
knows what, with� with� god knows who!�

�Um�
Rome, research, Andrew.�� Dawn raises her
brow.� �Ooh!� Does that make me God?� Because of the� knowing?�� Dawn looks at them hopefully.� They don�t seem amused.� �Guess not.�

�Since
I don�t seem to be required for this� conversation, I�ll let myself out.�� Giles gathers a few things.� �Try not to destroy anything valuable.�

�Fine!� Go!��
Buffy sulks after Giles.� �See if
I�m around to help next time you need a� a helpy
thing!�

Giles
doesn�t even look back.

Buffy
turns to glare at Dawn.

�See?� You upset Giles!�� Buffy accuses.

�Oh,
grow up.�� Dawn rolls her eyes.�

�You...
you grow up!�� Buffy retorts.

�That�s
what I�m trying to do!�� Dawn throws her
arms in the air.� �See the world, do
things on my own.� Make friends� have a
life!�

�You
can do that here!�� Buffy isn�t
thinking.� She�s just yelling.�

Dawn
gives her an incredulous look.

Buffy
sees it.� Thinks about it.� Her face gets sad.

�No,
you can�t.�� Buffy deflates.�

�I
really, really can�t.�� Dawn tries to be
gentle.�

Buffy�s
arms are crossed so hard.� Her head hangs
down, hair falling over her face.

�Hey,
are you crying?�� Dawn moves in.� Wraps a gangly arm around her sister�s
shoulder.� �Don�t do that.� Crying is for wimps.�

�So�s leaving.��
Buffy�s not gracious.� She
sniffs.� �Jerk.�

�Wuss.�� Dawn pushes
the hair out of Buffy�s eyes.� �Besides,
you should be happy about this.�

�Oh
yeah?�� Buffy rubs her eyes with her
sleeve.� �Why�s that?�

�You
can visit me!�� Dawn shakes Buffy.� �Think of the culture!� And the food.�
And the shopping!�

�Ooooh.�� Buffy�s eyes
glaze a bit.� She�s elsewhere for a
little while.� �And the shopping!�

�Yeah.�� Dawn shakes her head.� �And that.�

Buffy
smiles her wry smile.� Puts her arms
lazily around Dawn�s shoulders.�

�You
think we can hang out while you�re still here?��
Buffy gives Dawn a little squeeze.�
Steps back.

�Sure!�� Dawn smiles.�
�How about now?� There�s a chick
flick playing in town.�

�I�m
up for some girlie action�� Buffy hears
what she just said.� Frowns a little.� �And you� don�t know how true that really
is.�

Dawn
raises a questioning brow.

�Okay,
I�ll tell you�� Buffy has a caveat.� �But no gagging��

�Why
would I do that?�� Dawn�s confused.� They walk together down the hall.

�Because
every time I say anything about sex��

�Gyeah.�� Dawn
shivers.� It�s involuntary.

�See?�� Buffy accuses.

�What?��

�Sex.�� Buffy experiments.

�H-ukkkk.�� Dawn
gags.�

�Writhing,
naked, sweaty, sex-having me.�� Buffy
pokes Dawn in the shoulder with every word.�

�Oh,
I�m gonna be sick.��
Dawn heaves.� �Stop it!�

�Fine.�� Buffy taunts.�
�If you can�t handle it, I won�t tell you what happened last night.�

Dawn
gulps, working to recover from her nausea.�
She can sense juicy gossip.

�I�ll
try, I promise!�� Dawn tugs on Buffy�s
sleeve.� �Sisters don�t keep
secrets!� C�mon��

�Buffy keeps walking, grinning from ear to ear.

�That�s
not fair!�� Dawn takes two long strides
to catch up.� �You can�t just��

�Sex!�� Buffy raises her hand.

�Ughhh.�� Dawn�s
stomach turns.

Buffy
giggles.�

********************

Xander
hurries down the hall.� Some clean
clothes, some hygiene products, maybe the tiniest of tiny dabs of cologne.� That�s all that stands between him and
bliss.� Bliss being defined as private
snuggles with Renee in the media room.�
He finagled that with only two bribes and some wheedling.

�It�s
good to be king.�� Xander is proud of his
abuse of power.� �Big screen, big burger,
and big boobie- Er, love.� Yes, big love�� Oh hi Willow!�� Xander covers his almost-blunder with more
talking.� �I didn�t see you standing
there.� But there you are, at my door�
standing.��

�Hi.�� Willow gives him a feeble smile.

�What�s
up with the sad face?�� Xander opens his
door.� �Anything I can help with, in say,
thirty seconds or less?�

�Kennedy�s
leaving.�� Willow follows him in.� Sits on his bed.� �Not me, but here.�

�So
what�s the big?� Anywhere she goes, you
just...�� Xander searches his closet for
the grey shirt.� It has a collar.� He grabs it and snaps his fingers in a �like
that� gesture.� �And you�re in Kennedy�s
personal space.�

�I
know.�� Willow sighs.� Leans back on the bed.� Gets comfy.�
�I just can�t help�� I�m feeling
blue, Xander.� Cobalt, even.�

Xander
throws the shirt beside her and rushes to the bathroom.� Leaves the door open.

�Will,
you�re adorable in blue.�� Xander lathers
his face.� Reaches for his razor.� �Basically, you�ve got a big need to
fix.� Kennedy�s gone and gotten herself a
little cracked, and you feel guilty that you�re not her superglue.�

�I
should be her glue!�� Willow sits up,
teary eyed and defiant.� �We should be
sticking together!� Not wandering off all
willy-nilly, in little Willow and Kennedy pieces!� That�s too many little fragments, and what if
you can�t find the little part that makes the seam disappear��

�Sorry.�� Xander pops his head out.� �No time for the rambling portion of the
conversation.� Pass me that shirt?�

�Oh.�� Willow picks it up.� Tosses it to him.� �I think I cried on it, just a little��

Xander
holds it up.� Just a couple small
spots.� They�ll dry.� He puts it on.� Steps out of the bathroom.

�You
look nice.�� Willow admits grudgingly.

�Ah-thank
you!�� Xander grins.� �Now as to your adhesive issues.� Sometimes��
He works through the analogy.�
�Let�s say you got two pieces of wood, and you realize that they fit
together perfectly.� But what keeps them
together?�

�Not
me, obviously.�� Willow mutters.

�You
know how interruptions distract me.��
Xander scolds her.� �Where was I?�

�I�ve
got wood.�� Willow rolls her eyes.

�Um�� How about you never say that again?�� Xander refrains from looking to check.� �So you�ve got these two pieces, and they fit
together.� To make them stick, it takes
time and energy and effort and both pieces have to...�

�I
do that!�� Willow argues.�

�I
know.�� Xander runs his fingers through
his hair, a tad frustrated.� A carefully
sculpted lock falls over his forehead.�
�Will, you�re not the glue.� You
were never the glue.� You�re not supposed
to be the glue!�

Willow�s
face contorts from confused, to thoughtful, to understanding.

�Ohhh.�� Willow smiles
up at him.� �I get it!� I�m not the glue!�

�Good!�� Xander pulls her up by her shoulders.� �Come on.�

He
escorts her out into the hall.� Gives her
a quick hug.

�Now,
all better?�� He asks sincerely.

Willow�s
not looking at him.� She�s sputtering and
pointing down at the end of the hall.

His
eyes follow her arm.� They bug out a
little.

Buffy�s
back is against the wall.� Faith is
leaning in hard, pushing against her.�
Mouths and tongues colliding at a frantic pace.�� Buffy�s legs wrap around Faith�s waist.� Faith�s hand holding her up from underneath,
the other fumbling at the door.� They
push through to Buffy�s room and disappear from sight.�

Xander
blinks.�

�Well�� That happened.�� Willow composes herself.

�Yes
indeedy, it did.��
Xander coughs.�

�About
damn time.�� Willow smiles.�

Xander
can�t tear his eyes away.

�Hey!�� Willow nudges him.�

�Hmmm?�� Xander turns to her.� Sees her frowny
face.� �Oh, right.� All better?�

�Yes.�� Willow kisses his cheek.� Gives him a shove.� �Now, go be with your boobie-love.�

�Uhmm�� Xander blushes.� Grins like a kid.� �Okay.�

She
watches him race down the hall.

�Xander?�� Willow calls after him.

�Huh?�� He turns.

�We�re
the wood, right?�� Willow asks.� �Me and Kennedy?� We�re the wood?�

Xander
laughs.� A nod and a wave.� Then he�s gone.

Willow
breathes in.� Breathes out.� She feels lighter.�

She
stands straight for the first time in a long time.
- 32
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Heart's Desire