Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Heart's Desire	By : PencilNeck Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 9582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 30
- 31
- 32
Chapter 31: New
Year�s Day

Buffy stretches out, pushing the covers down with
her feet.� Rolls her
ankles, yawning.� Looks over at the clock.�

�Ugh.�� Buffy
groans, rolling into a sitting position.�
Scratches at the itch on the back of her head.� �Morning isn�t supposed to happen so early.�

She stands, raising her arms to the ceiling, the hem
of her baby tee riding up over her bellybutton.�
Fumbles to the bag beside the bed, absently grabbing
her workout clothes.

Tying her hair back into a loose ponytail, she drags
herself to the bathroom for her morning get-ready routine.� Wash face, brush teeth, apply
moisturizer.� Attempt to put on track
pants while gargling mouthwash.� Lose balance.�
Try again, this time sitting on the edge of the tub.� Spit out mouthwash, wipe stingy tears from
eyes.� Curse mouthwash.

Buffy looks in the mirror, practices her smile.� Better.�
More with the cheery, less with the creepy Buffy-Bot impersonation.�

She nods to herself.�
A job well done.

Now changed, Buffy emerges from the bathroom.� Heads toward the door.� She turns to check on her bed buddy.� Faith�s arm is wrapped tightly around Buffy�s
pillow, her face mashed into the mattress.�
�Buffy giggles, wishing she had a
camera.� Wishing the pillow was Mr.
Gordo.� Visions of blackmail dance in her
head.

She�s been sleepover-ing
with Faith every night since she woke up.�
It seems to help Faith�s recovery to have her close.� And Buffy likes being helpful.� In fact, she�s found there�s nowhere she�d rather
be.� Which of course, Giles
hadn�t taken into account when making up this week�s work schedules.�

Stupid Giles.

********************

�Nice extension.��
Buffy walks slowly past each girl, checking their form.� �Svetlana, stop looking at
your feet.� Keep your head
up.�� Buffy imitates the pose she�s
looking for, tapping under her own chin.�
�Better.�

�Alright, that�s great.�� Buffy smiles at them, turning to face the
mirror.� �Let�s go through it again.� Follow my speed.�

Buffy closes her eyes. Trying to
find her centre.� She breathes in
and out slowly a few times, and begins the slow series of movements.

A giggle from the back of the room interrupts her
flow.� She pretends not to hear it, but
opens one eye, just a little.� She peeks
out at her students.� Most are doing well.

She spies the culprit, and makes her move.�

�Crystal.�

Crystal looks up, all colour draining from her face
as she sees the harsh look on Buffy�s face, not two inches from her own.

Buffy doesn�t speak.�
She glances down at her outstretched hand, waiting expectantly if not
patiently.

Crystal hands over the offending item.� It comes blinking and buzzing to life in
Buffy�s hand.

Buffy grins maliciously, flipping open
the phone and answering it as Crystal stares in what can only be described as
fearful mortification.

�Hey, Darren.� Crystal can�t come to the phone just this
minute.�� Buffy says it casually.� Crystal winces.�

�No, I don�t think Crystal�s gonna
be able to come to the phone for quite a while.�
Like say, a month.�� Buffy�s eyes
widen, listens to the young man�s reply.�
She puts on a perfect impression of her teenage self.� �I know!�
Totally! Teachers can be such jerks, yanno?� Yeah?�
Uh-huh?� Sure, I�ll tell
her�� Buffy bites her lip to keep from
laughing.� �I�d be happy to.�

�Bye, Darren.��
Buffy imbues her voice with every shred of flirtiness
she can muster.� She presses a few
buttons.

�This phone is for work.� Not for texting�� Buffy manages to both mock and glare.� �omg
ur so sweet.�
Miss u lredy, luv Cryssi.�

Crystal is of course, cringing and blushing
furiously.� The rest of
the class giggles and �awww�s appropriately.

�And certainly not for long
distance conversations with your boyfriend.�� Buffy snaps the phone shut and tucks it in
the band of her pants.� All the better to cross her arms and glare.� �You can come see me after if you want this
back.�

Crystal visibly relaxes,
her humiliation over.

Buffy walks casually back to her place at the front,
stretching her arms behind her back.

�And what have we learned from this?�� Buffy turns back to face the class, shaking
her finger at them.� Grins like an evil
Cheshire Cat as she answers her own question.� �You can�t respect a guy who admits to being
called Dare-Bear.�

Crystal groans, covering her face with her
hands.�

********************

Buffy jogs down the wide hallway, taking random
bites from an apple as she goes.� She has
her wet hair up in a sloppy bun, and has changed into a pair of loose jeans and
a graying tee with flecks of peeling colour that were once the Backstreet Boys.

�Hey Giles.�� She jogs right through the doors and into her
seat at the meeting table.� �Sorry,
running late.�

�That seems to be the rousing theme for today�� Giles mumbles, indicating the empty
chairs.� Looks down at
the itinerary.� �I suppose I could
begin with��

The doors whip open with a bang.� �My bad.�� Faith grunts, pushing hard against the slim
rails, propelling her wheelchair forward.�
�Don�t quite have the hang of this thing yet.�

Giles gestures to the empty space at the table.

�I�m sure you�ll be doing wheelies in no time.�� Buffy is encouraging, putting a hand on
Faith�s shoulder.� �Oh, and I�ve seen
people playing basketball in them.� I bet
you could do that no problem!�

�Don�t plan to be usin� it
that long, B.�� Faith raises a brow,
scooting herself awkwardly under the desk.�
The armrest hits the edge with a loud thump.� �Just wish I could stop ramming into things.�

�Don�t we all.�� Giles saves his teacup.� He mutters under his breath.� �Bloody menace.�

�It�s your own fault.�� Kennedy comes in through the open door.� �You won�t let anyone push you around.�

�Never have before.��
Faith snorts.� �Not startin� now.��

Buffy giggles.

�Kennedy, please take your seat.�� Giles turns a page, takes off his glasses.

��What�s his
problem?�� Kennedy mouths to Buffy from
across the table.

Buffy shrugs.�
Rolls her eyes in solidarity.� Careful to make sure Giles isn�t looking.

�Now, as I was saying�� Giles finds the page he was looking for,
replacing his glasses in order to read it.�
�Activity in Cleveland is, for the moment, relatively minimal.� They seem to be managing with the one
squadron we�ve sent back.� I�ve sent the
appropriate paperwork, and should be receiving confirmation from them about
keeping the remaining Cleveland teams here for the time being.� As for the situation in Antarctica��

�There�s badness in Antarctica?�� Xander stumbles in, looking bleary and
disheveled, with an equally unkempt Renee at his side. �What is it?� Giant man-eating penguins?�

�Yes, actually.�� Giles stares him down.�

Xander�s eyes widen.�
There�s gonna be nightmares about that now.

�If you�d read the brief, you�d know that in fact
I�m referring to the Oreida demons that are
terrorizing the local scientific community.��
Giles gives him a withering glance.

Xander withers appropriately, taking his seat
between Giles and Faith.� Renee kisses
him on the cheek, and goes to sit with the other Team Leaders.

Buffy smirks at Renee.� Then at Xander.

�Morning, Stud.��
Faith elbows Xander, working her eyebrows.

Xander blushes, giving her a quick smile.

�The Oreida,
then.�� Giles� voice is a little strained.� �I�ve sent two teams down to take care of
them.� To cover their workload means
another revised schedule, which is now sitting in front of you.� If you have any problems with your schedule,
I suggest you grin and bear it because I will have neither the time nor the
level of sympathy required to modify it again.�

Giles takes a breath.� Looks around at the group
at the table, who are looking suitably disgruntled.

�Team Leaders.�� Giles looks up, making sure that everyone is
paying attention.� �Our numbers are as such that we can no longer maintain three of our
international branches.� Therefore, I am
suggesting that we close New York, Moscow and Cape Town. �They can be integrated into the remaining
forces, which will somewhat make up for our recent losses.�

�What if we cut the crews down?�� Renee thinks aloud.� �The outposts are crucial for intel and��

�I am aware of their importance, Renee.�� Giles cuts her off.� �And I�ve already reduced the squads
significantly.� We still can�t muster the
manpower to keep those posts.� I assure
you, these three are the ones we can most afford to lose.�

�I�m sorry.��
Renee feels like she said something wrong.�

�Don�t be.�
Questions are good.�� Xander
whispers, taking her hand.� Holding it tight.� �Even if the answers aren�t.�

�Now then.�� Giles flips a page.� �As to the battle reports.� There are still a few people who have failed
to submit them. Anyone who falls into this category must have them on my desk
by tomorrow night.� Please notice my use
of the word �must�.� It denotes a lack of
choice on your part.��

Kennedy grumbles, sinking lower into her chair.

�On a slightly related topic, Doctor Amani and her team have prepared a list of people that are
released from their sessions.�� Giles
passes it around.� �If you do not find
yourself on this list, you are still mandated to attend.� As the heads of your respective areas, you
will also be held accountable if any one of your charges fails to attend.� Furthermore��

�It doesn�t make sense.�� Dawn saunters in, Andrew trailing
behind.� �The physics are all wrong.�

�You can�t just say that!�� Andrew�s voice hits a new pitch.� �I�ve read all the manuals.� I�ll lend them to you, and then you�ll
see!� It will happen in our lifetime!
Transporters and holodecks and replicators��

�Oh my.�� Buffy says dryly.

�Look, to convert matter into energy is easy
enough.� You burn wood,
you get a pretty fire and a pile of ashes.��
Dawn simples it up.� �But to convert energy into matter?� That�s never been done outside of a particle
accelerator.� If it could be done, which
it can�t, it would take so much energy that it�d be pointless.� Why replicate a cup of coffee when it takes
the power equivalent of a nuclear bomb to re-arrange the particles?� What�s wrong with Starbucks?�

�But� Bu-huh...��
Andrew stops in mid-but.� Giles�
face is all red.

�If you don�t mind��
Giles grits his teeth, his glasses very dangerously close to breaking as
his hand squeezes into a fist around them.�
�I would very much like to get through this meeting before the next apocalypse.� I have a full day filled with unpleasant
tasks that need attending to.� So, if
everyone would please refrain from speaking about Xander�s sex life, or Faith�s
inability to do anything without a wake of destruction in her path, Andrew�s
obsession with ridiculous pseudo-scientific contraptions, or sodding killer bloody penguins��

With a loud pop, Willow appears in the meeting room,
a concerned look on her face.

�Killer penguins?�� She looks at Giles, then around at the
group.� �Sorry I�m late!� I lost track of� Oh Dawnie!� Your hair!�
It�s adorable!�

�It looks beautiful, Dawn.�� Buffy touches Dawn�s hand, smiling softly.

Dawn returns it.�
Andrew looks proud.

Mumbling to himself, Giles shakes the little pieces
of glass from his hand onto a piece of paper.�
Sucks at a small cut on his finger.� Puts the remains of his
glasses into the wastebasket.� Pinches his eyes with his forefinger and thumb.� Closing his mind to the chatter around him,
he lets out a long and weary sigh.

A few long moments pass.�

��Kay, so��
Willow�s voice is bright and chipper as she takes her seat.� She grabs at the sheets in front of her,
giving them a quick once-over.

�Giles?�� She looks up, grinning.� �What�d I miss?�

********************

�That was the boringest
meeting of� ever.�� Buffy and the rest
bolt out of the meeting room like kids at recess.� They walk collectively down the hall to the
elevators.� �Not to mention the longest.�

�Ugh, totally.�� Dawn nods her agreement.� �And what is up with Giles?� He was uber-cranky
today.�

�Giles was cranky?��
Willow looks bewildered.�

�He was the undisputed cranky champion, Will.�� Xander offers, taking Renee�s hand.� �He was King Cranky of Crankerton.�

�All work and no play�� Kennedy walks two steps ahead of
everyone.�

�Giles�� He
doesn�t have an axe, does he?�� Andrew shambles up from behind, eyes wide with apprehension.

�He doesn�t need one.�� Faith wheels herself into the gang.� �Weren�t you just in there with us?� Now THAT was a horror
show.�

�Who wants to get lunch?�� Buffy addresses them all.� �I�ve got fifteen minutes before my next
thing, and I�m starved.�

�Sorry, sis.� I have to get back to the office.�� Dawn yawns, then
shakes it off.� She leans over and
presses the �up� button.� �I have a
parchment coming in that I need to sign for. And then spend all day and night
translating.� And then comes
the requisite crawling in to bed and passing out part of the day.�� The doors open with a ding.� She steps in, and waves goodbye.�� Such is the glamorous life of a Watcher.�

Willow leans over, presses the �down� button.

�So how about it?�� Buffy checks her watch.� �We haven�t all hung out in ages.�� There�s still time for a quick snack.

�No can do, Buff.��
Xander smiles down at her.� �I�ve
got a double shift in C.C.�

�And I�ve got training.�� Renee waves as she and Xander head down the
hallway.

�Will?� Faith?�� Buffy looks from one to the other.� They shake their heads.� �Kennedy?��

�Classes.�� Willow looks apologetic.

�Physio.�� Faith shrugs.

�Workout.�� Kennedy smirks and runs into the
stairwell.�

The elevator doors open.� Faith wheels herself in, only hitting the
door twice in the attempt.� Willow
follows, giving Buffy a sad smile.�

�Maybe later?�� Willow talks as the doors are closing.

�Yeah, later.�� Buffy tries to muster some enthusiasm.�

Buffy stops staring at the shiny metal doors, sets
her hands on her hips.� Shakes her head.� Checks her watch again.�
She�s late.

�Oh, for the love of�� Buffy smacks the wall.� With a light skip, she starts a paced jog
down the hall.� �I guess Giles figures I
don�t need food.� Or
friends.� Or time to myself, or��

As Buffy�s ranting trails away, Andrew scuffs his
toe against the stone floor.� He watches
her go until she turns a corner and disappears.

�I could eat.��
He says, too late.

********************

Buffy throws a last light punch at the heavy
bag.� She rests her hands on her thighs,
breathing heavily and shaking off the sweat.�
Straightening up, she grabs her ankle and pulls it up behind her,
stretching out her tired muscles.� As her
arm arcs back over her shoulder, she wrinkles her nose.

�Stinky me.�� She lets her leg drop down.�

She grabs her duffel bag, throwing her towel and
iPod in.� She zips it up and throws it
over her shoulder.� Her
stomach growls.�

�Hungry me.�� Buffy frowns.�
�Stinky, hungry me.� I remember when I was cute, perky me.�

She passes the mirror, unable to resist glancing at
herself.� She has bags under her
eyes.� She gets closer.� Peers carefully at her
face.� Gasps in
horror.

�Lines!�� Buffy accuses herself.� �I do not have lines.� Lines grow up to be wrinkles!�� She looks again, nose almost pressed against
the glass. ��Oh, god.� I have lines.�

Mirror-Buffy responds with a powerful yawn.

Buffy turns away from herself with a sigh.�

�Tired, old, stinky, hungry
me.��

********************

�I swear I heard something that time.��

�It�s nothing.��
Buffy trips a little on the cobblestone.�
Her heeled boots weren�t made for this kind of rough terrain.

�No, really!�� The girl stops walking, letting Buffy catch
up.� �I heard something.� Like� rrrrrrrghlll�� The girl tries again.� �Rrrrrrghhhlllrrrrrggg.��

Buffy�s stomach rumbles in response.

�There it is again!�

�Seriously, it�s nothing.�� Buffy looks straight ahead.� Pulls her jacket tight
around her.� It�s cold
tonight.� �It�s been five minutes.� What should you be doing?�

�Oh gosh!� I already forgot.�� The girl grabs her headset, pushing it in her
ear.� �Marnie here.� All clear.� Heading to the north graveyard.�

Marnie listens to the responses
for a minute.� Turns
back to Buffy.

�Everyone�s okay.�

They walk side by side a while.�

A strong breeze comes down from the rooftops of the
old houses.� Buffy breathes it in.� Moss and slate and
something frosty and wet that might be snow by morning.

�Okay.� I know
I�m new here, but there is for sure something out there.�� Marnie wrinkles her
nose, smelling something completely different.�
�Ugh.� Whatever it is I hope it�s
not as evil as it smells.�

Buffy nearly chokes.

�See?�� Marnie gets excited.�
�You smell it too!� There�s some kinda growly, smelly monster out there!� Let�s get the rest of the gang and��

�It�s me.��
Buffy says it so quietly.

�Pardon?�� Marnie has manners.

�It�s �me.��
Buffy cringes.� �I�m the
monster.� I haven�t eaten all day, and I
seriously tried to get five minutes to shower but��

Buffy is cut off by Marnie�s
uncontrollable giggles.�

Buffy taps her foot.�
Gives Marnie a well
practiced scowl.� Marnie works hard to reign it in.

�Sorry, Buffy�.��
Marnie can�t help the few sniggers that
escape.� �But do you honestly think I
can�t tell the difference between monster stink and people stink?�

�So you knew?��
Buffy�s voice is rising.� �Why
didn�t you just say something?�

�Well, duh!�� Marnie taps her forehead with her palm.� �I was trying to be polite!�

�How is calling me a stinky
growly monster in any way polite?�� Buffy�s
voice has hit a surprising new pitch.

�I wasn�t!�� Marnie rolls her eyes.�
�I didn�t!�

They stop.� Both thinking.� Both coming to a realization.

�So, the smell?�� Buffy asks very quietly.� �Not me?�

Marnie nods.

�And the �grrrr�?� Buffy
whispers.

Marnie nods again, her eyes wider
than eyes should normally be.

�And because I know how much the Powers like to
taunt me, it�s probably standing��

Marnie points over Buffy�s
shoulder.

�Of course.�� Buffy shakes her head, and gives Marnie a low smile.�
�Run.�

Marnie doesn�t wait to confirm
that order.� She bolts down the alleyway.

Buffy makes a face.�
She can smell the smell.� It�s
pungent to say the least.� She cracks her
neck.� Unhooks the
knife from her belt.

�Now, this is nothing personal�� She tilts her head.� �Actually? �It really, really is.�

Buffy turns, throwing the knife as hard as she can.

********************

Buffy limps angrily into her room, making a bee-line
for the shower.� Rips
off her torn and stained shirt, throwing it directly into the trash.� Hops out of her equally
destroyed jeans, leaving them on the floor.

Not waiting for the water to heat up, she jumps in
the shower with a little squeak.� Just
stands under the stream for a moment, feeling the goosebumps
come up on her skin, the gash on her leg stinging.� As the water turns from freezing, to
lukewarm, to steaming hot, she grabs for the body wash and pours a huge blob
onto a rough sponge.

She scrubs her skin red.� She pours shampoo on her damp hair, working
it in hard with her fingers.

�Please come out��
She mumbles, over again like a chant.

She rinses.� Sniffs her hair.� Gags a little.�

�Stupid, evil demon stink.��

With an angry grunt, she tears the shampoo from the
shelf.

********************

Buffy drags herself to Faith�s room.� Finally clean, but exhausted and
starving.� Someone on this floor has food
and it�s making her stomach all avalanchy
inside.� Her mouth waters, and briefly
she wonders if she would have the strength to break the door down, steal the yummies and make a run for it.

Sadly, she does not.�
Instead she pushes through Faith�s door.

�Hey.� How
was�� Buffy stops talking.� Her mouth doesn�t close.� There�s drool.

The bed is covered with food.� Six large pizzas, a heap of
wings and garlic bread, and two giant submarine sandwiches. On the table
are three bottles of soda.

�Thought you might still be hungry�� Faith lounges in the chair, chomping on yet
another sandwich.

Buffy staggers to the bed.� Kneels in front of it as if
to pray.� She grabs two slices and
folds them over, stuffing them into her faces as fast as she can.� Barely chewing, and already reaching for
more.

�Omigaa
Faif I ruv roo.�� Buffy talks
with her mouth full, moving some now empty boxes out of the way so she can sit
on the bed.� �Where roo geh ahh
diss foog?�

�There�s a killer Italian place, just off the
85.�� Faith watches as Buffy devours
everything in reach.� �I got Andrew to
go.�

�Ven
I ruv Andwoo too.�� Buffy gulps at the soda. Swallows and
groans.� �Thank you so much.� You have no idea the day I�ve had.�

�You done with this?�� Faith takes one of the boxes, sits it on her
lap.� Grabs a piece of
pizza with both hands and starts munching.

Buffy looks covetously at
the box on Faith�s lap.�

�What?�� Faith
swallows.� �There�s still a ton of grub
there!�

�But I wanted that one.�� Buffy pouts.�
�It has extra cheese.�

Faith stares her down.� Buffy points at the box, looking sad and
pitiful.

�Fine!�� Faith tosses the box at her.

�Thanks.��
Buffy grabs it easily.� Pops the
top and reaches eagerly for the last two slices.� �Sucker.�

�What�d you just say?�� Faith growls.

�Suck-er.�� Buffy enunciates, grinning crazily.� �Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?�
All weak and puny and invalid-like, sitting over there
with strong, gloating, pizza-eating me all the way over here?�

Faith doesn�t waste time on a comeback.� She just lunges.

Buffy grunts as Faith tackles her off the bed.� She grinds the pizza into Faith�s face.� A last defence.

Faith wipes the sauce and cheese from her
cheek.� The startled, disbelieving look
on her face turns slowly into a malicious grin. Reaches for
the bottle of soda.� Covers the
top with her thumb and shakes it.�

�No.�� Buffy
puts her hands out in front of her.�
�See, you don�t wanna do that.� I just showered like, a zillion times. �And this is your room, a-and� I�m
injured!� And unh� you�ll never get that
out of the sheets, and��

Buffy makes a mad squealing dash to the bathroom as
Faith aims the bottle and lets fly the carbonated
sugar of war.

********************

Everybody knows about you.�

Buffy mutters in her sleep.� Rolls to her side.

The loneliness�

Her breathing halts.�
Then returns in a stuttered intake and forced exhale.�

The ache to just be with someone.

Faith responds to the loss of heat.� Rolls over and wraps an arm across Buffy�s
waist.

Anyone.

Buffy whimpers.

Even if it kills them.

Buffy bolts awake, breathing hard.� Sits up like a shot, looking into the shadow
of the room, finding her bearings.�
Notices the arm slung casually on her lap.� For some reason it breaks her heart.�

Buffy puts her face in her hands.� The dream, again.� It won�t leave her.� Won�t let her sleep.� Won�t let her just have this tiny scrap of
happiness.�

She starts to cry.�
Softly, so as not to wake Faith.�

They have never talked about it.� Not what happened down in the pit, or
anything that happened before.� They�d sorta
glossed over it.� As though when the
magical connection had been severed, so had any reason to deal with what they
knew, what they�d seen in each other.�
And with Faith still in recovery, Buffy had decided it would be enough
just to be near her.� To
be friends.� And maybe to hope
that one day they�d both be ready.

And on that day, what then?

Too many thoughts tumbling
around in her head.� Too many
worries, too much guilt.� Too many
questions and no answers except for the ones she doesn�t want to hear.� The ones that come to her
in nightmares.�

Faith lying in pools of
blood.� Faith glaring at her with
burning hatred or immeasurable sorrow, walking away.� Faith dead, Faith gone,
because of her.� All variations on the same theme.

�Even if it kills them�� Buffy whispers it aloud.�

She won�t let it happen.�
- 30
- 31
- 32
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Heart's Desire