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Pain Power Passion	By : purplefeen Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Spike(William)/Willow > Spike(William)/Willow Views: 3240 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and locations belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I do not own them and I am making no money off of them. I'm just letting them play in my playground.

Chapter List
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The Following Year
A sea of gravestones seen beneath a black sky. Two young women, one blonde and tan, the other ginger-haired and fair, walk and talk among the monuments. They seem oblivious to their surroundings and absorbed in their conversation.
"I would have sworn it was him,” Willow argued. "But in the book store? What would Spike be doing in a book store?"
"Spike wouldn’t be anywhere in Sunnydale, Will. Trust me, he’s gone for good. Last time we saw him, he was going after Drusilla. If any two vampires are meant for each other, it’s Spike and Drusilla," Buffy stated adamantly.
Willow agreed weakly. "I guess so."
"Change of topic., Buffy continues, “What do you think of college so far, Will? Up to your standards of academic excellency-ness?"
"It’s only the first week, but yeah, it’s great. I’m not the smartest person in the class anymore," Willow begins, sounding thrilled. As she warms to her topic, the familiar Willow starry-eyed look appears. "I get to compete with someone, intellectually. I always thought brains were sexy, but it’s nice to finally meet other people who think that too. Except for Giles, that is. He thinks brains are sexy, I think – ‘cause, you know, he’s smart so he must…" The starry-eyed look is gone. Replaced by a very confused look. "Never mind. This thought didn’t end up going where I wanted it to go. But you know what I mean? Don’t cha?"
Buffy smiles. "Yeah, Will, I know. Sexy brains. Lots of people with brains is sexy, I get it. Or at least, I get that you think so. Me? Not so much with the sexy brains. More into sexy eyes, or shoulders, definitely with the sexy butts. But brains? You can have all of those."
"Well, I want sexy eyes and shoulders and butts, too. Why don’t they make guys with sexy brains AND sexy eyes AND sexy shoulders AND sexy butts? Where can you put in an order for one of those?" Willow asks, laughing.
Buffy’s laughing also. "I don’t know. Maybe at a drive through? They could have a menu. ‘Give me one guy. 6 foot, brown hair, brown eyes, extra shoulders, medium brains, hold the whining. No pointy teeth. Hold on, Will." Buffy walks around a headstone, mutters, "Sorry, I can’t quip now, I’m in the middle of something," and stakes a fledgling just as it starts to stand. "Go on, Will. What are you gonna order from my drive thru?"
Willow spends a moment in thought, seems to focus on some point out in space and says, "Not that tall, maybe 5 foot 10. Blonde hair, ice blue eyes. Sensitive, but kinda edgy, too, ya know?"
‘Killer cheekbones. Nice firm ass, at least I think so, he’s always wearing that coat.’
Out loud, Willow continued. "Someone definitely out of the ordinary, ‘cause after a werewolf, ordinary would just be so - - ordinary."
"I getcha. Although, with me, I’m looking forward to ordinary. Out-of-the-ordinary guys, like vampires, never turn out the way I hope they will. They leave, or they lose their soul, not fun stuff. I’ll try ordinary on for a while – see how it fits."
"Yeah, I get that. Change is good. Speaking of change, are we almost done here? I gotta go crack some books."
"No, I want to do a sweep of Restfield, two cases of severe neck trauma were buried there today. Here, take a stake, head on back. I’ll see you in class tomorrow."
"Night, Buff."

Willow wanders back, out of the cemetery, onto the campus, through the quad. She takes the short cut to her dorm, through a copse of pachysandra bushes. As she rounds the last turn, she is tackled and thrown to the ground. Before she can determine if her assailant is human or not, the weight is gone, and she sits up in time to see two men tumble. Her champion leaps on her attacker, pummeling his face and then staking him with a short branch pulled from his coat pocket. As one vamp turns to dust, the other rotates long enough to make sure Willow is unharmed, then disappears into the bushes.
Willow looks on, apprehensively at first, then smiles and whispers into the night, "Thank you."
‘Wait – was that Spike? And why did he save me?’

The next day Buffy notices a scratch on Willow’s face and is instantly contrite, "Oh, Will, I’m so sorry. I should never have let you walk back alone last night. Are you all right?"
"Huh? Oh, no, it’s not - I mean, it was an accident, a student carrying a – a – a bunch of stuff. Last night. Ran into me. Or, I ran into him. Sort of a mutual running into. I’m fine. Nothing you have to walk with me at night over." Willow wonders how she’s going to get out of this.
‘I never was a good liar.’ She finishes lamely with, "I’m okay."
"If you’re sure – "
"I’m sure. I don’t need a bodyguard. Thanks."

It’s an early October evening and Willow is walking back to Stephenson Hall from her Wicca meeting.
‘It’s really quiet out tonight. If this was a horror movie, now’s about the time the undead thing would jump out and eat the girl. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE! No undead things here. Buffy said it’s been dead lately. As opposed to undead. No undead things, no new vamps. So everybody’s just *dead*. Not coming back to life, not rising from the grave. I SAID ‘THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!’ What to think about? No vamps. Or creatures from other dimensions. Boy, Buffy’s roommate was weird. Why would you leave another dimension to come to school here? Oh, yeah, the whole Hellmouth thing that makes this place such a tourist attraction. Go figure.’
Willow stops and looks around the quad. She hasn’t wandered off the sidewalks since the night she got attacked. But she knows something’s out there. She can feel it. She just doesn’t know what it is. She walks a little faster for a few hundred yards, then stops and searches again. Still nothing. Nothing to see. Nothing to hear. Willow runs the rest of the way.
As she enters her new dorm room, aka Buffy’s room, Willow is breathing heavy. "Will, what’s wrong? Did something attack you?" Buffy asks as she reaches into the bag under her bed for her crossbow.
"No! No, just, I don’t know. It was so quiet, I think I just got spooked. But it felt so weird, like someone was following me, or watching me, or something - "
"Someone was following you?"
"No, I didn’t see anyone. Or hear anyone. It was just weird, a feeling."
"Maybe you’re developing slayer senses." Buffy says half-heartedly.
Willow gives her the ‘are-you-really-as-dumb-as-your-hair-suggests’ look. "If I was developing slayer senses, I’d have known before that - " She stops abruptly, realizing what she was about to say.
‘Okay, so blondes haven’t cornered the market on stupid. I forgot I didn’t tell her about the night I was attacked. Wait - Blond? Attacked? Bodyguard?’
"Before that what?" asks Buffy, confused.
"Nothing. I’m sure I imagined the whole thing. I’m tired. I’ve got an early class tomorrow. Going to sleep now." She changes into her flannel Muppet pjs and gets into bed. "G’night, Buffy."
But she doesn’t sleep. With her back to Buffy, she starts to formulate a plan.
‘I have to find out if it was Spike. And why. Why did he save me? Why was he there in the first place? What’s he doing in Sunnydale? Where is he living? How will I find him? Do I really want to find him? Yes. I have to know what’s going on.’
The devil on her shoulder argued: ‘And it really has nothing to do with the fact that you thought he was so sweet last year when he was drunk and talking about Drusilla?’
Willow countered: ‘No! It has nothing to do with that. Besides, he loves Drusilla. And - - and - - he’s a mean cold-blooded killer, don’t forget that.’
The devil: ‘Then why are you going to go looking for him? Why would you intentionally seek out a murderer?’
The angel on the other shoulder answered: ‘It’s for Buffy. So she’ll know what she’s facing. I’m research girl. I’m researching. That’s it – that’s the reason.’
The devil: ‘Will, do you *honestly* believe any of that?’
Willow: ‘No. But I do want to know why he’s following me. *If* he’s following me. And why aren’t I afraid if he is?’
The devil: ‘Maybe it has something to do with the perfect Spike replica from your drive-thru order a couple of weeks ago. You remember – 5 foot 10; blonde; blue eyes; sensitive, but kinda edgy; killer cheekbones; nice ass; leather coat; out of the ordinary.’
Willow: ‘How could I forget? I thought Buffy was gonna call me on that one. But, no. Not being afraid has nothing - or almost nothing to do with that. I thought he was gorgeous the first time I saw him and he was trying to kill everyone at Parent Teacher Night. I was terrified of him. But I’m not now. Even after he kidnapped me and Xander. Or maybe I’m not afraid because he kidnapped me and Xander. Because he didn’t kill us. He hurt Xander, but Xander was attacking him. He threatened me, but he never hurt me. He even liked the way I smelled.’
The angel: ‘I’m sure all the people he’s killed are comforted by that. NOT.’
Willow: ‘Okay, I know that. But I think he’s changed. Kinda sorta. He saved me. He didn’t ask for anything after, he didn’t gloat, he just saved me – and left. Didn’t even wait for a thank you. Why?’
The angel and the devil smiled knowingly and spoke in unison: ‘I guess tomorrow you’re going to have to find out.’
Willow smiled. ‘Yeah.’ And fell into a dreamless sleep.

After her psychology class, Willow gave up trying to concentrate on classes. Her brain was becoming overloaded with trying to figure out where Spike might be. After lunch, she got Buffy’s crossbow and went to the factory. Then she tried Angel’s mansion. Then she cautiously ventured into Willy’s Bar and nervously asked Willy if he had seen Spike. She knew Willy had been lying when he said he hadn’t seen him, but Willow was too afraid of the creatures in Willy’s to make a fuss.
Willow ambled around a couple of graveyards at dusk before giving in and going to the Espresso Bar. Her stomach was too uneasy for food, but maybe some coffee would help. She settled into a chair and pulled out her purse organizer as she took her first sip. She was checking the list of possible Spike locations when the chair across from her was pulled out and her cup was lifted out of her hand. She looked up to see Spike take a huge gulp of her uber-hot coffee.
‘I guess the temperature thing doesn’t really affect him, does it?’
He sat down and gave her the killer smile. Tilted his head and said without betraying that he had been following her for weeks, "Heard you were looking for me, luv."
‘Gotta love that accent.’
"Uh, uh, uh - " stammered Willow. Now that he was here, she realized this Spike hunt had been a really bad idea.
‘Think, then talk, Rosenberg. Pull it together.’
"Um, yes. Yes, I was. Looking for you. I wanted to know why –"
"Why I saved you? Why I didn’t kill you? Why I didn’t bite you when I had the chance?"
"Yes. Why to all of those. Plus some others."
"Well, luv, I’ve had my eye on you. How’s the witch thing going, by the way? Learning all kinds of new and powerful spells?"
"Oh, well, the witch thing’s going okay, I guess. The Wicca group at UC Sunnydale is laughable, though. Not a witch among ‘em. Well, maybe one – Tara. She seems to want more from the group than bake sales and mixers anyway."
"That the shy blonde lass?" asked Spike.
"Yes, how did you know, you didn’t – did you?"
"No, luv, I won’t bite her. Not if you like her. I haven’t killed anyone for quite a while, pet. Not since I got back after giving Dru my blessing. Been getting my blood from Willy. And from the taste of it, I think he gets it by rolling drunks in the alley."
"You, you haven’t hurt anyone? Really? Why not? Did someone put a spell on you? ‘Cause maybe I could break it. I could try if you tell me - "
"No, no spell. Although it means a lot that you’d try to break it if there was one, pet." Spike stopped for a moment and looked at Willow. "Why do suppose you’d want to do that? Help me bite again if I couldn’t, I mean."
She was taken aback, she hadn’t really thought about it. It was just instinctive to want to help him. "I don’t know. I guess - "
Ice blue eyes caught her green ones and wouldn’t let them go. "You guess what, luv?"
"I guess I just - " She couldn’t hold his gaze anymore and had to look down. "I just like to help. People. I like to be helpful."
The blue eyes kept a careful grip on her face. "I’m not people."
"I know. But you’re not a stranger either. And - and you didn’t kill me before – when you had the chance. You never even came back to the factory after you left to get the spell book and ingredients. Why didn’t you come back?" She seemed to realize what she was saying and that she sounded a little hurt. She changed tack, talking a little too fast. "Cordy got hurt. And Xander was trying to get to her but he was still woozy from when you clocked him. We had a hard time getting her off that bar. We could have used some help." she finished, trying to make it sound like that had been the point from the beginning.
Spike wasn’t fooled. "I did go back, pet. I saw the ambulance take her and the whelp away." Spike slowed his words, speaking very carefully. "I saw you get into Rupert’s car and follow the ambulance. I saw you go into the hospital. You were there for two hours. I saw Giles take you home. I saw you turn off your light - "
"Did you see who - " she started, but she couldn’t finish. It was too embarrassing.
"Did I see who what, luv? Did I see who slipped an envelope under your door?"
Willow was astounded. He knew.
‘Oh, my goddess. He saw who gave me the note.’ "Who? Who was it?"
Now wasn’t the time. She wasn’t ready yet. "No one I’d recognize again. I didn’t get that good a look. I had my mind on other things by then."
‘That part is certainly true, Spike old boy. Keep it as close to the truth as you can. You’ll have less to apologize for later.’
Willow was crestfallen. "Oh. That’s okay. I never really expected to find out. I thought maybe Oz - - or maybe Xander, but when I hinted, they just looked really confused."
"I’m sure you’ll find out one day, pet. When you least expect it. It’ll work out."
Willow looked distracted. Spike hadn’t meant to upset her. He had to get her talking again. "So, what was it you wanted to ask me?"
"Oh. Okay. Just things like why are you in Sunnydale? And when did you get back? And why did you give Drusilla your blessing? I thought you wanted her back?"
"One at a time, Red. I’m here in Sunnyhell because I like it here. Have some unfinished business." At the worried look she gave him he quickly added, "Nothing for you to get upset about. I’m not here to cause trouble. Not planning to anyway, you never know what might happen if I get bored," he told her, smiling. "Guess we’ll just have to make sure I don’t get bored anytime soon." Then he looked at her from under his lashes and half-smiled, with his tongue pressed behind his teeth.
Willow started to sweat. ‘Did he just say what I think he just said. No, he could not have possibly just meant what I hoped he had meant. I mean, thought he meant.’
Spike decided to put her at ease for now. "Don’t get in a state. I can smell it on you. I can feel it on you. I just meant that I’m here to help out a friend. And not in a destructive way. But I have plenty of spare time. So if you’re not busy… I do have some experience with witchcraft. I did a spell to restore Dru’s health, remember? You and the slayers barged in and nearly killed me." He didn’t seem upset, just stating a fact.
‘Spell? Oh yeah, in the church.’ Willow smiled. "I remember. You were going to drain Angel. It took him a long time to recover from that. Where did you get that spell? Was it hard to do?"
‘Like offering candy to a baby’ Spike thought. "It was ridiculously easy, pet. Anyone could do it."
Willow didn’t get back to the dorm until after 4 am.
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Pain Power Passion