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Everything Is Different Now	By : Declan Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 7516 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy The Vampire Slayer Television Series. Joss Whedon does. This is done for simple fun, I'm not making any money from this.

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Wake Up Call: Part 2 (Days Gone Bye)

The nurse hummed to herself as she checked the patient’s catheter for the second time of the night shift. She never liked to remain long in this part of the hospital. Lack of funding had left the basement level in a decrepit state: largely abandoned, it had a decidedly creepy air to it, a place to put overflowing files and damaged hospital equipment and not much else.
Except the occasional patient.
To her knowledge, the girl was the only patient even on this ward, ignored by doctors and efficiently (if coldly) managed by most of the nursing staff.
Of course she’d heard all the rumours: that the girl had been brought in under mysterious circumstances, suffering from all sorts of terrible injuries. The Mayor himself had been seen grieving over her the day she had been admitted. But later there had been rumours of an ‘inappropriate’ relationship of some sort, but after the Mayor’s tragic death it had become swamped by all the other theories that circulated: corruption at the Mayor’s office, police obstructions, and criminal cover-ups.
What was certain was that this girl had done bad things – the way the cops edged around the details with all the doctors only confirmed most people’s suspicions about the girl.
Bad seed. Mental disorders. Violent. Murderous. Killer.
And yet, there was something still so compelling and heartbreaking about how the girl clung to life. Unwanted and uncared for, she lay as if waiting for something – or someone.
At first, the nurse thought it had been the blonde visitor, the young woman who, curiously, has shown obvious affection for the mystery girl. She’d read to her, and talked at length to her about nonsense things. The young woman had even left a box of possessions for her that she’d made sure was kept safe and undisturbed.
But that lone visitor was gone for over a month now and still, the child – Faith – slept on, with no more interest.
The nurse smoothed the bed sheet one last time before turning to leave.
She easily brushed past by the dark hooded figure that lurked at the entrance to the room, breezing by him as she hummed, oblivious to his presence.
With a slight turn of the head the hooded figure watched her depart, observing as she made for other distant parts of the hospital. She would be gone until shift change, hours from now. With a muttered phrase, the cloaking spell was ended and the dark form approached the sleeping girl. These days the figure preferred to concentrate on one spell at a time, and this next one would be difficult.
It was time.

*~~*

“So, are you going to the Bronze tonight?”
Faith glanced around in her chair. “Huh?”
Buffy leaned over and pulled the lollipop out of her mouth with a smile, exaggerating her next words. “You. Going. Bronze. Tonight.”
Faith blinked blankly as Buffy’s glossy, peach-shaded lips articulated every word. “Uh... probably. Where’s the teacher... think she’s late?”
Buffy was impatient. “C’mon, you’ve so got to be there, right gang?”
“Yeah, sure.” Willow said in a dull voice as she craned to look at the two girls.
“Uh-huh, you gotta see me put my moves on the dance floor.” Xander mimed a slow shimmy in the seat behind Buffy. He was such a dork.
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, with a knowing voice, “You can’t put moves on the dance floor Xand, it’s not gonna date you. It’s... a floor. And if it did then... the club would probably fall down.” She gave Faith a questioning look before shrugging.
Xander slouched in his seat. “Fine, show my moves, whatever. Miss Peta... Pedan... I’m gonna look the word you are up, right after... wherever we are now.”
“Biology.” Willow piped up helpfully; she was still facing the front of the class like a geek, even though Miss Dormer hadn’t arrived yet.
“What are we even doing today?” Buffy asked with a frown as she fiddled busily with a goofy looking sparkly pink pen.
Before Willow could say anything, Faith read aloud what was written on the board. “‘Same sex relationships’.”
Buffy scrunched up her face. “Oh. Totally gross.” For some reason, Faith felt a queasiness settle in her stomach.
Xander seemed to perk up. “Hey, maybe I won’t sleep through this class after all.”
Buffy huffed as she crossed her legs under her desk, showing a lot of smooth, tanned thigh under her short pale blue skirt. “Why can’t we do anything practical to real life, like, girl-vampire relations?” She smirked, her eyes lighting up.
Willow, of course, agreed. “Or girl-werewolf relations.”
Faith tried to look on the bright side. “You don’t know. You might learn somethin’ new.”
Buffy made a sour face, like she wished Faith hadn’t spoken, so Faith looked away hurriedly, just in time to see Miss Dormer enter. Tall, elegant, old, English – pretty nice for a teacher. And, unlike most, she seemed to actually like Faith.
She spoke up in a crisp voice. “Good morning class, and settle down please. Now, today we will be looking at the indefinable qualities that attract one member of the same gender to another. It could be hormonal, a synching of personalities, or a crush, but more often that not it’s a shared bond that goes far deeper than that.”
Faith listened with rapt interest. A small, secret part of her hoped that Buffy was doing the same.
Then the windows came crashing in, sending shards of glass everywhere as three leather-clad, rough looking dudes landed in the middle of class, faces twisted and demonic. The other students started freaking out, scrambling for safety and crying as the men lunged at them randomly, growling threats under their breath.
Faith pushed her chair back on instinct. Unlike most people, she didn’t panic. Slayers always knew what to do in a situation like this. But still...“Vampires. In day time? What gives?”
Buffy sighed. “I don’t care. It’s finally something I can poke.” She stood up, flipped her desk over and snapped off two of the legs like it was nothing. Buffy stalked towards all three of them with a bounce of her pigtails, “Not that I don’t appreciate lesson-critiquing as much as the next girl, but couldn’t you be just a little bit less violent?” She easily blocked a wild swing from a guy twice her size and shoved him backwards, “Dumb mook.”
People were still screaming as Faith reacted. Grunting, she flipped her table over and stomped on one of the legs until it grudgingly snapped in two. She picked up the jagged length and ran after B… uffy to back her up. She saw one of the vampires trying to get a shot at Buffy’s back, and Faith grinned as she grabbed him, swung him around and punched him with all her strength.

Her blow caught him in his ugly mug, but got no reaction. He grabbed her by the wrist, and seized her neck with his free hand, lifting Faith into the air, before slamming her down onto one of the desks like a ragdoll. Pain shot through her back as he bent low over her, baring a row of pointed teeth. Faith struggled but she had no strength: her muscles were weak and she cried out as her body was pushed down with pathetic ease.
The stake dropped from her fingers as the vampire’s vicelike grip tightened. He leered at her. “For Kakistos we live...for Kakistos we...” Then, he exploded into dust. Faith blinked, crying out as she fell off of the table onto the floor, spitting out blood and vampire dust as she landed.
“Faith, what are you doing, you could’ve been hurt?”
Faith looked up to see Buffy standing over her, pale-blue skirt, white cardigan over peach blouse. Her face was twisted in puzzled concern as she looked down at her. The class around was still in chaos, panicked cries filling the air.
Faith still felt breathless as she struggled to her feet. “I was backin’ ya up... but, my strength... I don’t know what happened...”
Buffy blinked in confusion before a slow smile spread across her face. “You think... that you’re the slayer.”
Faith shrugged. “‘S me, here t’help. But... I...” She stopped; the noises around her were changing into something else. Buffy’s smile became colder.
“I’m the slayer, Faith. ‘One girl in all the world’, remember?” Buffy leaned closer, her eyes cold. “There’s a word for people like you. Loser.”
It was then that Faith realised that everybody around her wasn’t screaming anymore. They were laughing, jeering, pointing.
At her.
Faith looked around at all the familiar faces looking her way. Willow and Xander... and others, Tommy and Kenny from Boston, not Sunnydale, because she remembered that she never went to school in Sunnydale. She didn’t belong here.
“You belong in Boston, Faith.” She felt a hand grab her shoulder and spin her around, “With me.”
She saw Miss Dormer, looking like she had at the end, naked and caked in blood standing there talking to her, even though the horrific wounds that Faith could see meant that she couldn’t be doing either.
Diane’s broken, croaking voice continued as her grip on Faith’s arm became cold. “You failed, Faith. That’s why you’re here. You always fail.”
Faith felt her legs give way as she collapsed into blackness.

*~~*

The figure stood next to the bed, arms outstretched. A reddish black light pulsed between them, enveloping the girl as crackles of energy surged across her form jerking her as she struggled. Her muscles spasmed and clenched as they grew strong. The girl clearly wasn’t ready to awaken – her body was getting stronger but her thoughts, her fears, were keeping her chained to oblivion. By accelerating the healing process, the figure knew it was risking damaging her further. It was a bigger possibility than initially believed.
But the being also sensed a fire there, deep down in her – the reason for all the attention and focus on this girl. Her promise for something greater.
That was what must be tested, trusted in, for the spell to work. The girl would face all her fears, and only then would she be ready to face the world again, and the part she would play in it.
The figure redoubled its efforts.

*~~*

“I’m glad you came”, Buffy murmured into Faith’s ear. The two of them swayed in time to the music. Some band was playing a moody emo tune up on stage. Faith didn’t care, ‘cause Buffy seemed to like it.
The blonde girl had her arms draped around Faith’s neck, her head dipped close and contented.
She was wearing the dress she’d worn at homecoming, and it left her shoulders and neck bare and smooth. Faith brushed her hand across her satiny skin.

“Don’t usually dance this way” she said awkwardly. She was afraid of treading on Buffy’s dainty feet.
Buffy pulled back so she could look Faith in the eyes. “Well I do. It’s a nice change of pace from all that grinding on the boys.”
Faith realised that they were drawing a lot of attention, people sitting at tables were looking on, and a space had formed around them on the dance floor. Faith wiggled her eyebrows. “Hope the boys don’t get jealous.”
Buffy shook her head sadly. “It’s not the boys I’m worried about.”
“Me? No sweat. Get some, get gone. You can’t trust... anybody, I guess.”
Buffy smirked before leaning forward and affectionately rubbed her nose against Faith’s. “Cynic.”
Faith didn’t know how such a simple gesture could make her heart beat faster. She was such a sap. “That’s me. Tough as they come.”
Buffy grinned and teased. “Apart from your soft, squishy underbelly.”
Faith’s grin widened. “Now you’re just gettin’ dirty. Tryin’ t’turn me on?”
Buffy’s smile faded and that sad look reappeared again. “It’s too late for that. You said I was just like you, remember?”
Faith’s grin faltered; she frowned at Buffy’s tone. “What’s that got to-?”
But Buffy was looking past her to somebody approaching, a shadow drifting through the crowds. The music stopped as people parted. The figure stepped in close to them both and his face caught the light.
Angel – face twisted, forehead bumpy, eyes piercing. “Buffy. Can I cut in?” His voice sounded cold and amused.
He handed something to Buffy.
With the overhead lights glinting in its steel, the knife looked sharper and deadlier and more beautiful than ever.
Faith felt sick, as her stomach grew cold like there was something squirming inside her. She couldn’t move.
Buffy’s voice was sad, but determined. “You’re a killer, Faith. And if I’m just like you... then you’ve got this coming.”
The blade pierced her, slid deep. Easily and cleanly, it didn’t seem to require any strength at all.
Faith let go of Buffy and staggered backwards, fell to her knees. The watery feeling in her stomach spread through her legs, making them weak and numb. She pressed her forehead against the dance floor, felt wetness on her cheek.
The music started up again and Angel took Buffy in his arms and led her away.
“B...”
Faith watched them dance, spinning around elegantly, circling Faith. Buffy gazed up adoringly into Angel’s vamp-face. She didn’t look anywhere else.
Faith felt like she was falling, plummeting through air and space and time. Weightless, she felt nothing but pain.
And then nothing but darkness.

*~~*

The monitor beeped in alarm as spike after spike appeared on the screen. Faith jerked in her bed, nerves screaming as her mind played nightmares over and over again. The hooded figure struggled to maintain the spell’s energy as it played over the slayer. She was resisting more than any other subject – her demons were strong and fierce things that writhed and snapped. And her life force was... potent.
She was the one. She had to be.
But she was not yet ready. Almost, but not quite. One last push should do it. The figure called on more reserves and black veins of energy flowed through the red-tinged air, disappearing into Faith’s body.

*~~*

Buffy’s bedroom was bright and cheerful as they undertook the comforting ritual of making the bed. “Clean sheet. Like Summer.” Buffy said with a soft smile.
Faith smiled back in mild reproach. “I wouldn’t know.”
A look of guilt or regret crossed Buffy’s face. “Right. I forgot.”
Faith finished smoothing her end of the sheet down. “I noticed.”Her voice was soft, not accusatory; she didn’t want to spoil the moment. It was too precious.
They smoothed out the bedspread, tucking down the corners as they moved closer together.
Then a bloodstain dripped and spread across the pristine white of the cotton sheets. “Damn. Just when we made it so nice.”
Faith looked down at her stomach, which burned with an itchy heat. “Are you ever gonna take this thing out?”
Buffy’s hand is on the jutting handle of the blade. She looks into Faith’s eyes, all warmth gone from her gaze, and twists the blade hard.
...
Faith was wearing her best summer dress. She was lying on her side, enjoying the sun, the picnic and the company. “You think it’s gonna rain?”
The Boss lay across from her, also on his side, dressed in relaxed Sunday best. He wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Nonsense. There’s not a cloud in the sky. Now eat your sandwich.”
Faith gave a little shrug; she knew she was being silly. “I don’t know, it just seems to start raining right about now.”
He gently chided her with a shake of his head. “You’re too young and too pretty a girl to start wearing worry lines on your face.”
Faith smile at that, feels herself start to relax, and enjoys her sandwich. She’s safe here, with all the time in the world.
Then she appears out of nowhere. The Slayer. Cold and menacing and ruthless as she ruins everything. Faith feels powerful tremors of panic seizes hold of her, feels the numbing chill of fear as she sees The Mayor die right in front of her.
“I told you I had things to do.”
Faith scrambles away and runs for her life.
...
A chase through darkness, shadowed shapes loom in the night. Faith runs because she doesn’t know what else to do. Blind panic sets in; she always ends up running.
It would have always come to this, but this is the first time it has happened. Buffy is coming, she’s really coming, even though she’s already taken everything that matters from Faith. She’s relentless, never tiring. Faith trips, hits a gravestone and then plunges into an open grave.
She lands painfully on packed dirt. She tries to get up, even though she’s too scared and hurt to move. But Buffy is already there, walking over, icy calm in her certainty. She tilts her head; her gaze fixed on Faith’s panicked expression.
Buffy drops into the open grave.
Faith can’t run anymore so she fights, she tears into Buffy with all the fear and pain and rage and disappointment and jealousy that she has in her.
Fire against her ice.
Buffy melts away.
And for the first time, Faith doesn’t fall deeper; she climbs, grabbing big handfuls of wet caked dirt as she pulls herself up from darkness and death, bloody, beaten, but unbowed.
The night is torn by a storm and rain pelts down. The world in turmoil, the sky boils in agony.
Faith stands up.
She feels alive; she can feel the pain and triumph and elation flowing through her. She looks up to the sky, takes in a heady breath of cold night air and screams for all she’s worth...

*~~*

Faith gasped loudly as she opened her eyes. She blinked at the harsh overhead light, its slight electric buzz felt loud to her ears, so that it seemed like it was the only thing she could hear. Faith’s vision was edged all around by dark shadow; she squinted warily as she tried to see beyond the gloom, to see something, anything, to allow her to get her bearings.
‘What the hell..?’
She heard a constant, monotonous beep even through her fuzziness and turned her head just enough to see a monitor next to the bed she’s in. Little wiggly lines and flickering numbers: ECG?
The last thing she remembered clearly is...
Falling.
She becomes aware of herself slowly, the rising and falling of her chest, her back against the soft bed.
Her arms.
Hesitantly, she focused on lifting her arm up and moved her hand in front of her face. She managed it slowly, and made a fist.
She felt strength there but also stiffness, which was weird – it felt like she hadn’t done that for a while. Still, she felt good, all healed up. That’s what mattered, time to see how long she overslept.
She griped the sheets covering her and flung them to the side, sitting up. She knew her body pretty well and it’s throwing out confusing signals, like ‘Whatcha doin’ there, jackass? Moving about?’, like she should be weak. But she’s not.
She sat up and looked around the room. It’s so damn dark and spooky that if that machine wasn’t beeping away, she’d have sworn that this was some kind of morgue. Little light; peeling paint on the walls; no windows. There was a chair and empty gurney stuffed in one corner, dusty and unused.
She couldn’t tell if it’s dark outside. It felt... dead though, no sounds, like it was the middle of the night. She’d been in hospitals a couple of times when she was younger and they’re usually buzzing in the daytime, packed with people walking back and forth, doctors and nurses, wheel-chaired people, visitors.
That’s when she saw the flowers in a vase on the nearby table, yellow wilting things that don’t look too happy to be here. She can relate.
Faith tore a couple of clip things off of her gown as she swung her legs out of bed. Already, she felt the stiffness leaving her legs as her feet touch the cold tile floor.
Then she felt a tug on her arm, and a mild discomfort. She looked and saw a needle and tube sticking out of her wrist. She frowned and brought her hand closer, before pulling the needle and whatever drugs are pumping into her out of her arm.
“Ouch.” She absently rubbed her skin as she walked around the bed to the table, curious now. Who would send her flowers anyways? The boss? Maybe a nurse or someone?
She looked it over, no card nearby. No ‘get well soon, slugger’ from the Mayor. Weird.
That’s when she saw the box, half sticking out from under the chair. Curiously, she crouched and pulled it out. And it’s her stuff, at least most of it is.
Magazines and comics she’d bought, even a half-opened pack of Red Vines. A bag of... clothes. There’s some new stuff here that must’ve been bought for her as a present, something to read while she got better. But she was the slayer; she woke up healthy, ready to play outside again – no weeks of sitting on her ass for this girl.
The boss must’ve left this stuff here for her, for when she got better.
‘Coulda’ sprung for a better room maybe, but this could be some secret part of the hospital. Like a sub-basement or something – keep me all hidden away and safe.’
Grinning to herself, Faith picks up the bag and shakes it out onto the bed. Boots and socks fall out first, followed by leather pants, a black tee and a dark denim jacket. Black bra and panties tumble out last. She quickly strips off her gown and slides the panties up her legs, shakes out the satiny push-up bra and puts that on.
‘Huh, well the girls are still the same size, all nice and snug. Guess I really am all healed up.’
She notices that she’s lost a little bit of weight though, she realised that when she buttoned up her pants and there was a little bit of a gap (just enough to wiggle her fingers through.) Her fingers trace the puckered pale skin where she was stabbed.
‘That’s mine.’
‘You’re getting it back.’
Faith shakes off the thought. Find the boss and see what’s the what she tells herself. Losing weight means she’s been out for a while, right? Weeks probably. Maybe months... Years? Shit, she should find a mirror ASAP to see if she’s all wrinkled up...
Whoa, okay, hold your horses. No way has it been years, she knows enough to know that. She’s up and walking around fine, no little Bambi legs, it’s all good.
Faith relaxes and stretches into her t-shirt, before reaching for her jacket. She hears a bang out in the corridor, a door opening and closing. Could be something. Someone come to visit.
(Buffy holding a knife...)
Faith ducks down quickly behind the bed pulling on her boots as she goes, before she forces herself to stand again, holding her breath. Cocking her head to the side, she listens for the sound of shoes squeaking on linoleum floor, the rustle of clothing as the person gets closer.
Instead, she just hears another dull bang, a door swinging open with a low creak. Nobody’s coming to get her.
Not yet.
Leaving her box of stuff for the moment Faith steps quietly out into the corridor. Her eyes take in the deserted gloom of the hallway as she listens for other sounds of movement.
The cloaked figure watches her go, unseen to even her keen senses. It’s pleased: the slayer is awake and strong, ready to play her role like a good little pawn.
And a very shapely pawn at that. The figure didn’t consider itself human anymore but even so, it did have warm remembrances of women, even a slayer. And until now it had almost forgotten the benefits of being able to observe undetected.
Now to put more pieces into play. The next task would require less raw power, rather finesse, but that did not matter. The hooded form was old enough to be well adept at both.

*~~*

Faith walked ahead, still tense and on-edge. She didn’t see anybody around here, no cops, no security, no nothing. Walking past empty shelves, stacks of chairs, a few gurneys, she had no clue as to how to get out. She saw a few doors up ahead but not an exit sign. She needed to get her bearings. What did people usually do when this happened? They’d grab a paper, look at the date and be all shocked and bewildered or some dumb shit like that. She might just try finding somebody and asking them, that’s if she could find...
A door banged open in front of her and an old, overweight guy waddled backwards out into the corridor, dragging a cart full of cleaning supplies with him. He was dressed like a janitor in drab green overalls. Faith steps forward into his line of sight. He stopped and turned to her.
“Hey, what are you doing down here. You’re not supposed to be here.” His craggy, ruddy face seemed more annoyed than alarmed.
Faith shrugged easily. “Snuck down here to get busy with my boyfriend but I got all lost. Kids today, huh? Whatcha gonna do.”
Then the janitor seemed to realise just what he was looking at and relaxed a little. “Well...you shouldn’t be sneaking around here. You could get in trouble. Where’s your, uh, friend at?”
Faith feigned hurt. “Left me high and dry to go to the john and I ain’t seen him since. Guess he blew me off.”
The older guy looked her over as he rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “He did, huh? Some guys have got no sense.”
Faith stepped closer so he could see her better. “So help a girl out. How do I get outta here?”
He frowned, brow furrowed as he looked like he was trying to place her. Then his eyes widened suddenly. “Jesus. You’re that coma girl.” He took a startled step back and bumped into his cart.
Faith quickly stepped forward and grabbed his arm not too gently. “Dude, chill. I’m with the Mayor, ‘kay. So just tell me how t’get outta here and we’re square.”
The janitor shook his head, not understanding. “The Mayor? That guy’s dead.”
Faith felt the bottom fall out of her stomach. Her brain seemed to freeze and then get all fuzzy. Her eyes narrowed at him. “What?”
“Listen, maybe I should get somebody...” He cried out as she tightened her grip on his arm.
Faith focused on him like a laser. “Tell me. What. Happened?”
The man gulped. “The guy... he died in some kinda explosion...There was a gas leak at the school during some ceremony. Right in the middle of his speech, just went up... the whole school.”
“Graduation”, Faith muttered.
That meant Buffy had done something, had killed him, killed her... Buffy and all her little loser friends and her pet Watchers. Where any of them dead?
Faith was gonna find out, find them sooner or later.
The old guy stammered. “Yeah, that’s... Not just him. The Principal as well, some of the teachers...”
Faith refocused, snarled at him. “What’s the date? Now, today?”
“F-February 13^th. Two thousand.”
Faith let go of the man so he fell back against his cart. Clutching his arm, he stared at her wide-eyed.
Seven months? Seven months and the boss had been dead all that time? That’s what’s with the flowers and clothes and shit, present from some vamp minion second-in-command type? She didn’t know and didn’t have time to find out.
Fuck. The police, everybody, as soon as they realised that she was awake they were gonna freak and get after her.
And she was alone.
She needed options.
The old guy held up his hands to her in a placating gesture. “Look Miss, I should go get a doctor for you, check that you’re okay. Jesus, I mean, you shouldn’t even be walking around. You got really badly hurt.”
Faith looked at him again and smiled slowly as she kept her voice sweet. “Say, you got any money on you?”

*~~*

Faith used a clean washcloth to wipe the guy’s blood off her knuckles as she left the hospital. Nobody had stopped her or even looked twice at her on the way out. Sure seemed like everybody expected her to lie there a while longer. That was good; she had a little time to think.
She chucked the rag in a nearby trash bin and looked through the guy’s wallet. Twenty-eight dollars and a bit of change. Hell, she’d gotten by on less.
She was free and clear for the moment. And hungry. Getting almost killed can really work up a girl’s appetite. One of the hospital clocks had put the time at two forty-five, which meant that in a crappy dive like Sunnydale everywhere would likely be closed.
But Faith found a gas station not half a block over, bought a burrito, a big bag of chips and some sodas and devoured them all in no time.
Took the edge off.
She also bought a few other things that seemed sensible; a scrunchie to pull her hair back, a touristy baseball cap with ‘Razorbacks’ written on it, and lipstick and eye liner.
One thing her Mom said that always stayed with her was that makeup was important. Make the most of what you’ve got. Faith could sometimes still hear that raspy voice:
‘You put this on its like armour, it protects you. But it’s also a weapon. Sometimes it’s the only thing you’ve got to use on a guy. Gets ‘em thinkin’ with their junk. Makes ‘em easier to handle.’
Not that it had served Mom all that well in the end. The world used her up, spat her out. Mostly because she let it, she was always the one not thinking straight with guys, always letting someone play her, lapping up the attention. They’d get her drunk or high, take her money with promises and excuses – they played her for all she was worth and she fell for it.
Exhibit one on how the world really works. Stupid bitch.
Whatever the dumb reason behind it, Faith always felt better with a little something on to make her lips and eyes pop. Looking at herself in the grimy mirror of the gas station toilet, she slowly applied it, red lips and blue eye liner. Watch out, fellas.
Of course she was still too pale, the mild tan she’d picked up from travelling cross-country to sunny Cal had mostly washed out.
Still, she’d be way paler if she’d been fed to some mopey-assed vampire. Because, in the world according to Buffy, you were wrong and bad and a murderer if you say, accidentally stabbed a guy, but it was okay to cold-bloodily murder somebody for a fucking vampire.
Faith scowled into the mirror, feeling her temper flare and start to rise. But she had to play this smart, find out where all the players were so many months after, all moving on to bigger and better things.
‘Shoulda watched out ‘cause sometimes life comes around and bites you in the ass. And guess what? It’s my life.’
Faith watched as she smiled coldly at her reflection. That’s better; remember that Klingon proverb-thing.
Next she visited the high school. Keeping her distance, she watched from across the street, taking in the smashed entrance, eyes lingering over the remains, burnt and crumbling and collapsed. Abandoned and forgotten, kinda like she had been.
She wondered if somewhere inside there were dead bodies, all broken and crispy. Was the Mayor still there or did they cart him out and bury him someplace? Or maybe he did his transforming thing but still got blown up, Faith didn’t know.
‘No point hanging around here, the past is dead, nothing you can do to change it.’

*~~*

Faith decided that when morning came she’d head over to Giles place, mainly because his was the only last name apart from Buffy’s that she could remember. She found his address in a phone book and tore out the page. Depending on the sitch, maybe they could have a ‘chat’ about the way things were now and do some watcher/slayer bonding… Could be an interesting way to spend the morning.
Figuring that she had time to kill until then, and that the best place to hang out with little chance of running into the cops was a cemetery, she headed for one. There were plenty to choose from, so she made her way to the one nearest to Giles’ place, the one with a whole bunch of stone angels that reminder of the one she used to patrol in back in Boston.... Mount Auburn, very old-y-world-y, just without all them dead poets pushing up the daisies.
Patrolling.
Patrolling with B. Before everything went to shit.
She remembered the feeling she first got when she arrived in this small, pokey little town, so different from Boston or New York with their huge crowds that swallowed you up. A girl could get lost in those crowds. Here, there was just the one dead end club and the quiet you were left with at the end of the night, at whatever motel you’re holed up in.
Still, it had all started out pretty okay, she’d gone to the club to have a good time, dance and then show B her badass slayer-stuff – show the girl that she wasn’t alone. Buffy hadn’t been impressed, but her friends had, mostly. She pulled out her best stories and tried to get B to do the same, but the other girl had just seemed put out that there was another slayer in town. Faith didn’t think much of it at the time, but she should’ve.
So she met Buffy’s watcher, and right off she could tell he liked her – older guys usually did – so she figured that maybe he would talk Buffy round.
Faith should’ve known better.
Then there was Buffy’s mom, who thought that Faith was great too and, sitting there in that nice house, eating actual cooked food, with a supportive Mom-type taking an interest, Faith started wondering what B’s problem was exactly; what was the big burden in her perfect life? So she called her on her bullshit mopiness on patrol and got bitched at in return. But then hey, some fighting, which had been a pretty good workout. And then Buffy, of course, didn’t like the way Faith did things and went whining to her watcher.
So they all found out. Faith had screwed up. Strike one against her as far as they were all concerned.
But things got better after that, Faith really tried hard. She did dull jobs, like watching Oz the dog-faced boy getting all hairy-palmed and licking himself in his cage; like joining in with their little meetings and speaking up and stuff; like picking Buffy up when some loser dumped her and asking to the homecoming dance.
It didn’t last.
Watcher lady shows up and it turns out everybody’s been lying about everything: Buffy’s psycho vampire ex-boyfriend is alive and well and the Scoobies are holding their little, secret club meetings and all the while Mrs Post is acting concerned and giving advice, spending time with her like she gave a damn... like Diana...
Turns out she was lying too, but Faith finds that out too late and so now she’s the bad guy again, even though she always played it straight, just doing her job.
Strike two, Faithy. Better watch yourself.
Then a while goes by, nobody bothers to check on her, nobody gets the short straw at Watcher HQ to come and talk to the slayer. But, hey, the last two got real dead, real fast so what’s the hurry. And, see, they already got one, a regular goody-two shoes, what do they care?
Time passes and then B pops by ‘cause her Mom obviously guilts her into extending the hand of charity to poor, grubby wayward trash. And if it hadn’t been Christmas, Faith would’ve done everybody a favour and told her to shove it, but Christmas was always... tough.
And so she goes and buys a couple of presents, ‘cause that’s what you do right? Be all ‘polite’. Faith shows up and it’s good, the food is anyway. And Joyce is nice enough not to throw her present in the trash the second Faith’s back is turned. Buffy has to go and rescue her boyfriend from some freaky ghost-thing – Faith never really gets the full sitch on that one – but, hey, it snows and there’s eggnog and it all feels pretty darn nice.
So Faith takes off for a little while – not that Giles even notices – and gets some perspective. Can’t go getting used to home cooking and Buffy smiling that smile at you and laughing at all your jokes. Because that’s just not gonna end well.
Except that it almost does.
Faith gets back just in time to actually help out with something big, a showdown with some wicked crazy she-demons who want to do some bad thing; again nobody’s big on the details. But she slays, patrols, pops Xander’s cherry (no need to thank me, loser) and is there with everybody for the big finish. Smiles all round. Good work team.
Then it gets good. Faith’s hanging around so much that she and B are getting into a groove. And she sees – really sees – Buffy give into it and start to have fun and Faith is having the time of her life. Kicking ass, dancing all night, having her pick of any guy she wants and she doesn’t even mind Buffy getting all sexy and intimate with her lover-boy, ‘cause that can never go anywhere. And it’s just a matter of time before Buffy just sees her...
Strike three.
You’re out.
Faith’s a murderer, Faith’s in trouble; Faith ‘how could you?’ Like she’d even meant to kill some guy who was hanging around a pitched fucking battle.
Even though Faith says she did it wrong, says that she messed up, which is progress right? It ain’t enough, and Buffy wants to tell everybody. So Faith thinks ‘sure, you wanna share it so badly, you can take the wrap, how d’ya like that?’
But of course everybody rallies round poor Buffy, and Xander comes round hoping Faith’ll cry on his shoulder and give him another taste. So she shows him how little she thinks of him, gives him a good scare while she’s at it. Makes sure he backs off.
Then it turns everybody knows how ‘bad’ Faith has been. Angel bushwhacks her, ties her up and talks at her for a while, then Buffy’s watcher comes and arrests her, is gonna take Faith off to England, for her own good of course.
Good going, B. Nice one.
But Faith escapes, grabs her stuff and is gonna skip town, screw this noise, and then Buffy comes sniffing after her, acting all concerned. So Faith calls her on her bullshit, again, and Buffy freaks, again. But at least there’s sparks between them, just like before Finch, it gets the blood rising and the skin humming, the Chosen Two. Better than being ignored or taken for granted. It’s something.
Then the vamps attack and everything is clear again. Faith does what she does best, cleans up and saves B by dusting Trick, and so they both head back. Faith’s decided to stay.
Because Faith finally got it. She got what they were trying to do. They didn’t ever care about her, none of them, they didn’t want her around. They just needed Faith to stay so Buffy could go off and do her own thing. Buffy didn’t – never had and never would – see Faith as anything but a slayer, either a threat to her rep, or a way to get out from under. Her watcher would follow her lead of course, like he always did. And her friends, well, Buffy had turned them against Faith long ago. She was always gonna be ‘dangerous’, ‘unstable’, ‘troubled’, ‘loser’ to them now.
Like high school all over again.
So that was her future, crystal clear to her, she was never going to be part of their stupid gang. She’d always be on the outside; the dog on the leash; the muscle; the ‘other one’ they might need in case things ever got serious. She would sit and wait in her crappy motel room for whenever they decided to call. Until the day they didn’t much need her anymore and moved on with their bright, shiny lives without so much as a fuck-you-very-much Faith, because remember when you killed that guy one time, and we think its best if you don’t come with.
So Faith found another way, she got out, turned the tables. Got herself a job and found somebody who actually wanted her, accepted her, cared about her. Somebody who made her feel like she wasn’t slowly dying inside all the time.
And, weirdly, after that, some of it was still good. She faced off with Buffy a couple of times –after all, Blondie couldn’t ignore her now – and it was pretty sweet. But boy was she mad. Faith wasn’t playing by the Buffy-playbook anymore, she was having fun.
Then Faith had made a big mistake: going after Angel had set Buffy right off. All that corny bullshit about true love and ‘meant to be’ hit B right where she lives; she bought into it so completely that nobody else could compete. Not even Faith.
And then the fun was over. End of the ride.
The black hat gets it. Roll credits.
Well, buckle up kiddies. Time for a sequel.

*~~*

Faith was so lost in thought that she almost didn’t hear the scream, and jeez whoever was doing it had a pair of lungs on ‘em. Probably a girl by the sound of it or maybe a really scared guy.
And the sound was coming this way.
That’s when she saw them both, a blonde girl running all out and a big guy in a varsity jacket chasing her like she was the fifty-yard line with two minutes to spare. Faith saw the girl stumble badly but keep on running, forced to hobble on a turned ankle as she dodged between tombstones. The guy was picking up pace and was quickly closing the distance.
Faith wasn’t really going to intervene, except that all of that strolling down memory lane had got her really stirred up for a bit of violence.
Also, the guy was a vampire.
She saw the dude leap the last ten feet of distance and shove the woman to the ground. With a helpless cry, the woman scrambled around as he wrestled with her and she beat her fists against his heavy chest.
Sighing, Faith reached up, snapped a branch off a nearby tree and walked over. She vaguely wondered where Buffy was – it was a little late for patrols but, gasp, innocents were in danger.
Yeah, right. No such animal.
The man hauled the girl up in his grip and jammed his mouth against her throat. No foreplay, just going straight for the goodies. Typical guy.
Faith casually grabbed his shoulder as the woman beat feebly at his arms. Faith tightened her grip, yanking down to pull him away from his unhappy meal, and pitched him over. The woman tumbled to the ground and laid there in a daze as he landed heavily beside her, before rolling up on instinct, coming up snarling.
Faith smirked at him, assuming combat stance. “Picking on poor defenceless women: well that really gets my dander up.”
The vampire leered at her, growling: “You’re in for a world of hurt.” He barrelled towards her, lunging in a way she guessed was supposed to be scary.
It wasn’t.
She blocked his fist, stepping into him as she slammed her forehead into his nose, smiling inwardly as she felt something give. But she didn’t linger on it: she moved to one side, bringing her heel down hard on the outside of his knee. Something snapped with a dull crack. The demon’s eyes went wide as he staggered back, dazed by the sudden pain.
“Aw, did that hurt?” Faith said, shifting to the right and jamming the jagged branch into his chest. “How ‘bout now?”
The vampire fell back, stunned, exploding into dust all over a tombstone. An epic battle – and Faith had been worried that she might be rusty. It’d been a while since she’s been in the company of vamps that she actually got around to slaying.
Faith frowned at that wayward thought but shrugged it off. She turned to the girl, who was still sniffling and crying on the ground, holding her neck as she attempted to stand.
Faith took a step closer and nudged the girl with her foot. “Looks like you’re gonna live another day. Congrats.”

The girl was still all weepy; Faith guessed that she was college age, judging by her outfit. The blonde wiped away some tears. “He attacked me... I tried to get away... He was too fast and... He hurt me.”
Faith sighed. “Well, he’s gone now.” She pulled the girl’s hand away from her neck and looked at the wound, “Put some... medicine on that.”
Suddenly the girl grabbed her hand, her trembling fingers clutching at Faith’s sleeve. “Thank you. Y-You saved me.”
Faith frowned and pulled her hand free. “’S cool”, she said softly before turning and quickly walking away.
That was...weird. What the hell is some helpless broad doing walking around at five in the morning anyway? Faith went and saved her just so the chick could go and shoot out some more idiots into the world? Faith shook her head to clear her thoughts and made her way to Giles.

*~~*

Faith took her sweet time meandering through the cemetery, enjoying the soft glow of the morning sun as it washed over the town. Chirping birds and glistening dew made even the graveyard seem pleasant enough to linger in.
That vamp was cutting it pretty close though; snacking so near to sunrise – maybe Buffy had killed off all the smart, half-decent vampires this town had to offer.
‘Cause that’s what a slayer’s supposed to do. Kill vampires. Not work with them.
Faith frowned at that. Watchers make the rules, right? And no watcher ever gave a fuck about her, so why should she believe that’s what’s supposed to go down? Some humans need killing. Maybe some vampires get to live. Hey, apparently some vampires get to date slayers. So, in that fucked up scenario, who’s to say what’s right and wrong.
Before she stepped out onto the street, Faith pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and tugged her baseball cap down low on her brow. Not exactly the master of disguise but enough to fool anybody from a distance, she figured.
When she got up close, it’d be too late.
Faith hopped over the fence and crossed a couple of streets, glancing at her crumpled sheet and looking out for Giles address on the street signs.
It turned out Giles lived in a nice neighbourhood, one of those sleepy, tree lined suburbs where paper boys roamed and Dads spent Saturday mornings washing their cars and stuff. Without anybody around Faith wandered freely as she tried to get her bearings, hearing the town slowly begin to wake up around her, the sound of the occasional barking dog or passing car punctuated the peace and quiet.
She found his apartment eventually, but it was much later than she’d planned. Maybe Giles would have gone off to work or something by the time she got there. She wondered what Giles was doing now that his former employment got kinda destroyed. Did he work where Buffy went to class, or someplace else?
Faith decided that she’d quietly break into wherever he was at and wait for him to come home, raid his fridge, take a shower, and maybe nab some booze if the guy had any.
Liking her plan, she was completely stunned when a hundred yards up ahead, a car pulled up and Buffy jumped out of the passenger side, her blonde hair shining in the sun. Faith’s mouth went dry. She watched the other slayer bounce her way around to the sidewalk, lean over the driver’s side and...
Kiss some guy. Some guy who clearly wasn’t Angel, since Faith reasoned vampires don’t really dig convertibles with the top down in broad daylight.
Thinking quickly, Faith stooped like she was tying her shoe. She got an eye full of short brownish hair as Buffy stroked the top of the guy’s head as she kissed him. The blonde pulled back, and the two talked and Faith could see the other girl laughing and smiling and happy.
Faith was focusing so hard on Buffy that she didn’t notice the little doggy come sniffing around her heels, tail wagging.
A tall guy with a leash stepped onto the sidewalk and made a shooing motion. “Get away, Henry.” He paused and smiled at her in apology, “Sorry, he’s a friendly little thing.”
Faith didn’t say anything. She was almost frightened at how angry she felt. She barely heard the guy’s voice over the roaring, pounding surf in her ears. Her body felt rigid and tense, but also like it was vibrating, trembling from being held in check.
Buffy and some college frat, getting all cosy. True love my ass.
The guy’s voice was a little concerned. “Miss?”
Faith got a grip of herself and managed to reach out and tickle the cute doggy under his chin; it licked and slobbered all over her wrist. She’d always loved dogs.
She managed a soft laugh. “Sorry, he’s just so darn cute.”
The man relaxed and chuckled. “Yeah, Henry has melted many a maiden’s heart.”
‘Who the fuck calls their dog ‘Henry’? Jackass.’
“So... are you... Do you live around here?” Faith was pretty sure he was checking out her ass as she crouched. She stood up.
She put on her best smile, “Just doing a little house-hunting. And I think I just found the right place.”
Faith approached the window cautiously, taking advantage of whatever little shadow Giles’ porch cast onto the courtyard as she stood one side of it. Her breath was steady as she peered in through the glass on to what looked like a Scooby meeting. Giles was there, talking with Buffy. Xander and… some other chick were sitting on the couch together. The way she was all over him Faith guessed they were a couple. She didn’t see Red anywhere, but maybe she was running late. And there was some other guy, blonde, good-looking, wicked-stupid hair. He was talking to Buffy and the two of them were getting all bitchy with each other.
She heard Giles lay out; tell them he had a phone call about Faith busting out the night before. Faith caught some of Buffy’s reaction – all shocked, by the looks of it.
Faith had seen enough: now they all knew she was out, but they didn’t know where she was. Maybe they expected her to run, get out of town or hide somewhere.
No such luck.
Faith backed away from the window and out of the courtyard. She’d felt a lot of emotions over the past few hours, and walking back out into the world was so confusing. Losing out on all those days, she’d felt sad, and confused, maybe even a little lost.
Now all she felt was angry. And it felt good.
She knew where she needed to go.

*~~*

Faith enjoyed the campus at first; the place was fairly jumping with people, which made it easier to blend in. Everybody was so busy moving about that they didn’t give her a second glance. Most of them anyway.
She’d ditched her disguise: she really didn’t feel like hiding anymore, so she went looking for some central place where students pass through; somewhere Buffy would end up on her way to class. Maybe Faith would follow her, find out where her dorm was, but her head wasn’t really very clear on the details. Seeing Buffy kissing that prep-y college guy made her lose focus.
So she relaxed. Moved about looking for someplace to settle, giving a little eye contact to a couple of cute guys, smiled at a few girls – hey its college now – and got lost in the crowds. She found the quadrant between a lot of the buildings, with seating and notice boards and nearby parks where guys and girls sat kissing and studying and kissing.
All real nice stuff. Faith could really dig this – in another life.
She was busy looking over the whole mess of parties and society gatherings and protest groups when she heard Buffy’s light, bubbly voice. It was just too perfect as the blonde babbled away confidently, thinking she was safe out in the open.
She wasn’t.
Dressed in black, armour up, ready to rock, Faith turned around to face her.

“You’re not me.”
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