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Know Who I Am	By : Paigie Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4757 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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When I get home I can feel this tension in the air. I slowly close the front door hoping that my mom won’t hear me. I know it seems pretty pointless to try and hide from the fight I’m about to have but a girl can try. I tip toe up the stairs and thank God I have slayer stealth or she would hear me. At least I think she would.
“Buffy Anne Summers you get down here this instant!” she yells from the kitchen. I really hate mom radar. It totally sucks. And I really, really hate it when she yells out things that are really cliché. Who actually says ‘this instant’? It’s like when babies are born their parents are handed a guide book on all of the traditional things to yell out when they’re in trouble.
“I mean it young lady. You get in here right now.” She isn’t yelling anymore, but she still sounds really mad. The young lady part of that sentence is another perfect example of language stereotypes. I might as well go get this over with. It’s not like I can go into my room and everything will disappear. How bad ass would that be? I walk down the stairs no longer caring about stealth, and I head for the kitchen. I hope the door and see my mom standing by the island looking pissed enough to kill.
“Do you want to explain to me why your school called and informed me that you missed your last two classes?” Ok, her face is turning red, her arms are folded across her chest, and she’s lightly tapping her right foot on the ground. All of those signs are pointing to a longer groundation if I reply with a sarcastic comment. Although I really, really want to. What, you expect me to just take this lying down? She doesn’t know why I ditched. It could’ve been for slaying related reasons.
“Well, you see the thing is…” I trail off like some idiot. Ok just think. She can’t get mad at me if it’s slayer related because that’s my sacred duty. Alright Buffy just think. “When I was patrolling last night I staked this weird looking vamp and Giles wanted me to check out the scene during the day to see if he left anything behind.” Wow, that was such a great lie. I almost believed that myself. And yay, she doesn’t look so mad.
“Next time you tell Mr. Giles that you’ll check it out after school. I don’t care if it cuts into your training. School comes first.” Wow, I actually dodged a bullet. At least something is going right for me today. Hopefully this won’t come back to bite me in the ass. “Go upstairs and do your homework. I’ll come get you when dinner’s ready.” And I’ve officially been dismissed, which is fine by me.
I go upstairs to my room and toss my backpack on the floor. Let’s see it’s…four-fifteen now and dinner is usually on the table between six and six-thirty, and Faith won’t be here until nine. I really don’t want to wait that long. I’ve had a really long and pretty bad day, and I really want to stake something. I’ll admit that a large part of it is the want to be around Faith. I know I was bitching about her earlier but she makes patrol a lot more fun.
I lay down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I know it’s totally cliché to be doing this but I don’t care. It would be really cool if Faith came over right now. We’d sit up here and talk until dinner. Maybe I could get her to open up a little. I know she’s only been in Sunnydale for two weeks, but I think I’m starting to fall for her. The fact that she’s a girl doesn’t freak me out.
I mean sure when she first showed up that night at the Bronze and I was actually jealous because Xander was making mooneyes at her I got a little freaked. I dated and slept with a vampire, sure a boy vampire, but still a vampire. At least Faith has a pulse. One that I would be able to feel speed up as I slowly kiss down her very soft looking neck. So like I was saying, her being a girl doesn’t bother me.
I’m just afraid this is going to bother everyone else. My mom is still a little mad at me for running away, and totally freaked out that I’m going to do it again. What if this is too much for her to deal with? What if she can’t handle having a daughter who’s a vampire slayer, a forming runaway, and a lesbian? I’m not even sure if I’m a lesbian. I think I might be bisexual at most. Faith is the only girl I’ve ever thought about sexually, and I still check out some of the guys at school.
“Buffy, dinner’s ready!” I hear my mom yell from downstairs. I guess I can think about this later. I get up and go downstairs. I kind of wish Faith was here. If she were then my mom would be on her company behavior and not be sending me glares from across the table. I swear I skip two classes and it’s like I didn’t go at all. “I want you home before midnight tonight. I know slaying is important, but so is your education.” Great, not this argument again.
“Mom, I know my education is important, but the vampires and the demons don’t care that I have a history quiz tomorrow. I have to slay as many as I can so maybe this week the death rate will go down at least a little.” That came out way bitchier then I intended, but nothing I can do about it now.
“I know you’re just trying to keep Sunnydale safe, but you’re not the only slayer in town anymore. I think it would be a good idea to share the responsibility with Faith.” I can’t believe she just said that. Patrolling with Faith is one of the best things I do all day. There’s no way I’m going to give it up. “Just think about it, alright? Maybe you should even talk it over with Mr. Giles and Faith to see what they think.” Yeah, then I can drink a bottle of drain-o and run with scissors.
“I need to go,” I tell her and take my last bite of chicken. I know it’s only seven-fifteen and Faith said she’d be here at nine, but I need to get out of here before my mom drives me crazy. “If I’m going to be home by midnight then I need to start patrol a little early.” I go upstairs and grab my stake and cross ‘cause you never know when you’ll need one, and I leave.
Now that I’m gone I feel like crap. My mom just wants what’s best for me, she wants my life to be a little easier and look how I act. I didn’t even tell her that I love her before I left. Tonight could be the night that I die, and the last thing I said to my mom was some sarcastic comment. Why did I even come back if I’m just going to treat all of my friends and family like crap?
I need to just calm down. Faith’s motel is just up ahead, and I’ll feel better when we start patrolling. I really hope she’s there. She didn’t say if she was doing anything, she just said she’d be at my house at nine. Why do I feel so nervous? I don’t think I’ve ever felt this nervous before. It’s not like I’m picking her up for a date. We’re going to slay vampires, maybe a demon or two, and we’ll probably get dirty and sweaty doing it. That doesn’t sound like my idea of a romantic evening.
I knock on the door to room number three and I wait. The lights are on so I know she’s here. I’ve only been here once, but I’ve never been inside. I kinda want to know what Faith’s motel room looks like. Doe she keep it clean? Is she a slob? Did she buy new sheets for the bed? I’m really weird for wanting to know all of this stuff but I don’t care.
That’s weird. Faith isn’t answering her door. I knock again, a little louder this time, but still nothing. I press my ear against the door and listen. It sounds like the shower is running. I wonder how long she’s going to be in there. I don’t want to wait out here for too long. I slowly turn the doorknob and there’s no resistance, so it’s unlocked. I wonder if Faith would get mad if I wait inside. It’s not like I’m going to rob the place. I just don’t want to wait out here and look stupid.
I slowly open the door and peek inside. It’s a lot cleaner than I thought it was going to be. I don’t think Faith is a total slob, but even I’m not this clean. I walk in and shut the door behind me. This place isn’t so bad. It looks like she did buy a new blanket for the bed, which means she probably bought new sheets too. I sit down on the corner of the bed and wait.
Wow this is really boring. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here but my back is starting to hurt, and my butt feels a little numb. Maybe I should come back later. Wait, oh thank God. Finally the shower is over. And now that the loud spray is gone I can hear Faith talking to someone. I know it’s her voice I just can’t tell what she’s saying. So she has someone over. Crap, she’s going to be mad. Oh no, she opened the bathroom door.
“Well don’t worry. I’ll give you some medicine and you’ll be all better really soon, ok?” I hear her say in a very light tone. I stand up and watch as she walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Trailing right behind her is a…is that a kid? Faith has a kid? Why did I not know about this? “What are you doing here?” Shit. She does not sound happy to see me.
“I, um, I…” that’s all I can get out. I can’t take my eyes off of her kid. She doesn’t look a whole lot like Faith except for eyes. Those deep, chocolate brown eyes are exactly like Faith’s. There’s so much emotion in them, and right now she looks really scared. I’m forced to look up at Faith when she steps in front of the girl, blocking her from my view.
“Buffy what the hell are you doing here?” she asks again and she sounds even more pissed off then before. She takes a couple of steps towards me and now I’m a little scared. Faith and I are pretty evenly matched but I think she’s mad enough right now to kill just about anything. I better hurry up and explain before that something becomes me.
“I got into a fight with my mom so I thought we could start patrol a little early. The door was unlocked. I didn’t think you would mind if I waited for you in here. I’m really sorry,” I tell her all of that in one big breath. I sound really scared. Probably just as scared as I look. Hopefully she won’t kill me. I watch her eyes very closely and I can tell she’s trying to decide what to do. So is it going to be quick and painless or slow and torturous?
“Wait outside. We need to talk.” Oh thank God she isn’t going to kill me. I really don’t feel like dying again. I practically run from the room. I close the door a little harder then I meant to, but I really don’t think it matters. After about a minute or two the door opens and Faith walks out. She’s wearing a very tight t-shirt, no bra, and some little skimpy shorts. She looks really hot for a mom. If my mom looked like Faith I’d probably have a stroke.
“You have to swear to God you won’t tell anyone about this, Buffy,” she says and looks me dead in the eyes. She looks mad but scared at the same time. “My watcher was cool about it. She even babysat for me a couple of times, but she told me if the Council finds out that I gotta kid they’ll take her away.” Oh God, that’s so horrible. Would they really do that? I can’t believe I take orders from those people…sometimes. “Swear Buffy, swear you won’t tell anyone, not even your mom.” She looks so scared. I’ve never seen Faith like this before.
“I swear Faith, I won’t tell anyone,” I say with all the sincerity I can come up with. I don’t know what to do now. Should I just be quiet? Because I have about a million questions that are dying to be asked. Ok, she isn’t saying anything either which is like an invite for questions. “Is it just the two of you? When you patrol at night you don’t leave her alone, right?” She looks a little insulted, and I don’t blame her.
“My boyfriend moved here with me. He gets home from work around nine,” she sounds just as insulted as she looks. Well that explains why she wanted to patrol so late. I usually start patrol right when the sun goes down. “Look I know you probably got about a million questions, but Sam is sick so I gotta go take care of her.” Things get really quiet mostly because I don’t know what to say. “Look, come back a little after nine and we’ll skip patrol tonight and go somewhere to talk, ok?”
“Yeah, I can do that. That sounds like a good idea.” She nods her head a little, but before I can say anything else she’s already back inside and closing the door. Faith has a kid? God this is so huge. I can’t wrap my mind around it. And she doesn’t just have a kid. She has a boyfriend too. Some guy who loves her and their daughter so much he moved all the way across the country so he wouldn’t lose them. I can’t believe I’m actually jealous.
I also can’t believe I agreed not to tell anyone. I’m one of the worst people when it comes to keeping a secret. Especially one this huge. Willow is going to take one look at me tomorrow and know that I have something huge on my mind and she’s not going to give up until I tell her. This so sucks. I just couldn’t wait outside, could I? I swear this day can’t get any worst.
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Know Who I Am