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Life is Change	By : trudyw000 Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - Slash - Male/Male Views: 9166 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Sentinel, I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Three

Not again, Spike thought blearily as he was dragged from sleep for the third time in as many hours by the sound of Xander in the other room suffering through another nightmare. As he pulled himself up from the couch and made his way into the bedroom he paused to take a deep and unneeded breath. There was no point being angry with the whelp, it wasn't his fault that vampire hearing wouldn't let Spike sleep though his nightmares. Feeling calmer he walked into the bedroom and sat gently on the edge of the bed, taking in the sight of his friend thrashing his head from side to side as he sought to escape the horrors inside his mind.
"Hey, Xander" he called out softly, trying to break through the nightmare holding Xander in it's grip. "Xander, wake up now, it's only a dream, you're safe now, remember" As the young man on the bed calmed and lay still, Spike reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder. "You OK?" he asked.
"Not again!" Xander spoke, echoing Spikes earlier thoughts. "I'm so sorry, maybe you should go back to your crypt, it's not too late for you to get some sleep tonight" Spikes hand fell away as Xander pushed himself up to sit leaning against the headboard, his hands scrubbing through his hair as if trying to clear the images out of his brain.
"Nah, hate to say it, but that's one thing I agree with the Watcher about. You shouldn't be alone, not until we know you've got your senses under control." Spike looked thoughtful, "Tell me what these nightmares are about" he asked.
Xander hung his head for a moment before running both hands through his hair as he pushed it back out of his eyes. "It's always dark, completely dark, so I can't see anything, and it starts out silent. I'm trapped somewhere, it's completely black and absolutely silent and I'm trying to get away but there's nowhere to go." Xander stopped talking as he sat lost in the memory of the dream.
"You said it starts out silent?" Spike gently nudged Xander to continue.
"Yeah, then I start to hear voices, sometimes I can hear the words, sometimes it's just the sound of voices too quiet to make out what they're saying." Spike thought Xander was going to stop again, he didn't want to have to push too hard, Xander needed to get this out in his own time. But then Xander started talking again. "I can hear the voices, they're looking for me, but no matter how much I yell they can't hear me, even when it sounds like they're just on the other side of the wall, they never hear me, and I'm just yelling and screaming, and pounding my hands on the wall. But the voices just carry on and then begin to fade away, I know they're leaving but there's nothing I can do."
"So, your dreams are recreating the time you spent captive. Think about this, every night when you go to bed your alone, you close the windows to keep the noise down, close the curtains and switch off the light. You're duplicating the conditions from when they held you."
Xander looked up in surprise, "You think thats why I get the nightmares? because the situation feels so similar?"
"I dunno, could be part of it, shall we try changing the conditions, try to keep the nightmares at bay?"
"Sure, what do you want to do? Get me a nightlight like a 5 year old?" Spike hated the derogatory tone in Xander's voice but now was not the time to address those concerns, that would come later.
"How about we just leave the hall light on, and the door open, we could open the window to let in the street sounds." Spike hesitated before making his final suggestion, sure it would be shot down in flames. "You were alone when they held you captive, we could change that to, if you want?"
Xander was as surprised by the tentative manner in which the words were offered, as much as by the words themselves. "You mean you'd stay here? I guess the bed's big enough for two, as long as you don't snore." The light-hearted comment broke the tension and Spike smirked.
"Don't breath do I, can't snore if you don't breathe."
Xander grunted in response, and moved over to lie on the far side of the bed, snuggling down into the duvet as he prepared to try again to sleep.
"I'll just get the windows and the light then shall I?" Spike snarked, but the look in his eyes as he wondered at the trust in him exhibited by the sleeping boy in the bed belied the sharpness of his tone. Realising he'd get no response he sorted out the windows and the light, stripped to his boxers, crawled into the other side of the bed and prepared to sleep.
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Bang! Bang! Bang!
The pounding on the door resounded through the apartment waking Spike with a jerk. Sitting up quickly Spike realised he had gravitated towards Xander's warm body during the night, and he thanked his lucky stars that the pounding had not yet woken Xander and he had time to unwind himself from his bedmate without having to admit that vampires liked to snuggle.
Quickly extricating himself from the bed Spike grabbed up his jeans and pulled them on as he headed for the door to see who was trying to break it down at this hour of the ... afternoon. He shook his head as he caught sight of the clock on the way through the living room, surprised at how late they'd slept. Opening the door he stood back to allow Buffy, Willow, Tara , Dawn and Giles to enter. As they filed in he realised what had been bugging him and he leaned forward to sniff Giles as he past.
"What are you doing?" Giles sounded shocked as he flinched back from Spike. Spike pulled back from the hostile stares suddenly directed his way.
"Hey! No offence mate, just realised you all smell different."
The others looked self-conscious as Willow spoke up, "I've been reading Blair's paper. He talks about the troubles his sentinel had with his sense of smell, just from soaps, shampoos, aftershave, that kind of thing."
Spike was confused by the look on Willow's face, until he realised she was braced, ready to respond to a sarcastic comment from him. But he didn't feel like making any sarcastic rejoinder, he was touched that they would go to such efforts on Xander's behalf. "Thanks, Xander will appreciate the thought." Then leaving the visitors with stunned looks on their faces, he gestured over his shoulder to the bedroom, "I'll go see if he's awake, make yourselves comfortable."
Xander had opened his eyes and grinned as soon as Spike left the room. Who knew he'd be learning so many vampire secrets, vampires like to snuggle, in fact it bore a close resemblance to sleeping with an octopus. Still, if Spike wanted to maintain the big bad persona then Xander wasn't going to spoil his fun. Getting up, he swiftly twitched the duvet back into place and stripped off his t-shirt before searching through his closet for a clean replacement. And that was how Spike found him when he stepped back into the room, back to the door, bending over as he searched the back of the closet. The appreciative look that swept over Spike's face would have got him staked in an instant had Buffy been there to see it. Luckily she wasn't, especially when Xander straightened up and turned with a triumphant grin as he pulled out what was quite possibly the last clean shirt in the apartment. Spike merely returned the grin as his eyes drank in the sight of Xander, naked to the waist. It was a real pity Xander had lost the construction job. The muscles he'd built up from the manual labour were normally hidden under the baggy clothes he favoured, but now they were clear to see, and Spike was making the most of Xander's distraction as he hurried to make himself presentable for his friends.
"Hi Guys," Xander called out as he saw all his friends gathered in the living room. "What are you all doing here so early?"
"Early Xander?" said Buffy with a questioning tone as she moved to one side so he could see the clock.
Xander gave a classic double take as he saw the time. "Three o'clock, really? Wow"
"I must say, you look refreshed. Can I assume that means no nightmares?" Giles asked.
"No, still some nightmares early on, but Spike figured some things out, kept them away for most of the night." Nobody missed the grateful look Xander threw Spikes way.
"Ah, excellent. Anything we should know about in respect of our Sentinel research?"
"It was no big deal." Spike seemed uncomfortable at being the focus of so much attention. "Just left a light on and the windows open, let in some street sound, make it feel less like when the Xeljax had 'im."
"Cool!" Dawns voice broke the uncomfortable silence at the reminder and she quickly crossed the room to give Spike a hug. "Thanks Spike." She murmured quietly in his ear.
"OK then, so what brings you here this fine afternoon." Xanders voice sounded as cheerful as ever, but to those in the room, those who knew him best of all, it was clearly forced. They each resolved to do everything in their individual power to help Xander get through this. "It looks like poor Willow is going to burst if she doesn't get to speak her piece soon." He smiled at his oldest friend and the floodgates opened.
"I've been reading the book Giles found, and Blair's paper. Sentinels have heightened senses to protect the tribe from danger. Not only from attack, but they can help track prey when hunting, they can predict storms and all sorts of useful things. They live on the outskirts of the tribe with one person to help them, keep them focused, help them control their senses, keep them from zoning. That person was called a guide. I'm going to be your guide!" Willow finished with a triumphant grin.
"Wait! What! Hang on a minute, I thought you were going to try to locate this Blair character. Isn't he the expert on sentinels?" Spike was the first to voice what everyone was thinking.
Willow's triumphant look faded as she took in the surprise on everyone's faces. "Well yes, and I did find him, he's still living in Cascade."
"That's good work Willow. So we'll call him and see if he can help us to help Xander." said Giles.
"But I already tried calling him."
"When?" Tara's soft voice quieted the others in the room and Willow turned to the other half of her soul tucking a stray wisp of hair back behind her lovers ear as she said "While you were in the shower honey. I finally realised he'd never left Cascade and called Jim Ellison's number. He's not going to help us. But that's OK!" her voice regained it's cheerful upbeat tone. It was forced, she knew it was forced, and what's more she knew her friends knew it was forced. But dammit she was not going to be downbeat about this, it could work and by Hecate she was going to make it work. Positive thoughts only allowed, and if she needed to pull out the resolve face then so be it. "It's OK, it really is. I've got Blair's paper and it's incredibly detailed and thorough, I mean he could have defended it with half the work, a quarter even, it's like he just didn't know when to stop" and the irony of that statement coming from Willow of all people struck several of those around the room, but they didn't interrupt. "I've got the Burton book, and with all that we know now I'm sure we'll be able to find more on the internet. I can do this! Who else would it be, we've been best friends since kindergarten. Plus the guide is generally a shaman, someone in touch with the spirit world. I'm a wiccan, I can do this. He's my best friend, he needs a guide and I'm gonna be that guide."
It was Buffy's turn to speak up now, "I don't understand, why won't he help. He must know how this feels, how out of control Xander's senses are. This Ellison guy, he's the sentinel, right? They must have been through this themselves."
"I don't know, I asked if I could speak to Blair, I told him that I'd read his dissertation and that a friend of mine was having weird sensory spikes, he just said to get him in a drug rehab program and stop bugging Blair. He said, haven't you heard, the whole thing was a fake. He, well he got quite rude." Just the memory of the brief conversation had Willow blushing as red as her hair.
"Very well, thank you Willow." Giles was polishing his glasses again. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. Xander if you're happy to give it a try we'll see if you can get some control of your senses with Willows assistance."
Xander dragged himself back from the brink of the void, only just realising how he'd almost allowed himself to become lost in the sound of the Englishman's voice. "Sure, just, Willow, will you have time for this, you have college and Tara, you help take care of Dawn and help out at the Magic Box, not to mention research and patrol. Your life is getting pretty busy and I get the impression that this guiding thing is a pretty big commitment."
"It's fine Xander. It'll all work out, you'll see." Willow grabbed a sheaf of papers from her backpack and passed them to Xander. "I've printed out the paper, it's all in there. You have a read of that tonight, you'll be at the Magic Box tomorrow won't you? We'll meet there and talk about it."
"OK, I was planning on coming over to work on the shelves you wanted in the storage room, that still alright with you G-man."
"Thank you, that's fine, I appreciate the help. I'll pay you for the work of course."
"Don't be ridiculous, I enjoy doing it, and anyway I need to keep my hand in." Xander moved across the apartment to open the door for his friends to leave. "Now if you'll excuse me, it looks like I've got a mountain of reading to do. I assume I'm excused from patrol tonight." A wry grin crossed his face. "Who knew this Sentinel gig came with homework."
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Life is Change