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Last Resort	By : NeenaVarscona Category: BtVS AU/AR > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 2641 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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~~~~~
�Did I miss something?� asked Rupert. �Why are you all looking at me like that?�

�Like what?� said Xander. �Like you�ve gone completely nuts? Like years of taking blows to the head finally caught up with you and you�ve lost your marbles?�

�I don�t understand,� said Rupert, taken aback by the caustic tone of Xander�s voice.

�What? It wasn�t bad enough that you made out with my fianc�e last night so you decided to come back and rub it in a little? Yesterday we were under a spell, so I can almost forgive you for that. What�s your excuse this time? And what in God�s Great Hellmouth were you doing playing tonsil hockey with me?� His face was burning red, partly out of anger, but mostly out of embarrassment, and he was shouting.

�Xander�� said Anya, trying to calm him down.

��Cause you�re way outta line, buster,� said Xander, ploughing straight through Anya�s verbal roadblock. �I don�t know what kind of twisted little three-way fantasy you�ve got brewing in that bumpy old head of yours, but count me out.�

�Xander�� Anya said again, seeing the look of total devastation on Rupert�s face.

�I thought you were going back to England. Maybe that sort of thing goes on all the time over there, what with all the boy�s schools and boarding houses, but that�s not how it works here.�

Before Xander could add more venom to his sting, Rupert backed his way past the still-dumbfounded Dawn and ran out the door and into the night. Xander slammed the door after him and spun around in triumph. Anya glared at him angrily, something she�d had over a thousand years to perfect, and Xander�s look of triumph plummeted from its perch on his face.

�Xander!� she barked.

�What?� he asked, trying to come off as defensive rather than cowering. �It felt good to get that out. Weird, though: don�t you think he was acting weird? I mean it�s not like Giles to just stand there and take it�I figured I�d have a good fight on my hands.�

�Xander, stop talking,� she said sternly. �Do you remember this morning when I talked to you about how Giles kissed me, and how much he needed to go on vacation?�

Xander�s hand automatically went to his temple and started rubbing. He remembered the conversation very well. Anya�s warped sense of logic was enough to liquefy his brain. All he�d managed to glean from that conversation was that Giles had kissed Anya and she had liked it. A little too much, in Xander�s opinion.

�Well I paid a visit to Bob this afternoon. I told you about Uncle Bobrachnilothtot, haven�t I?� asked Anya.

That was another mind-numbing conversation he was never likely to forget. Xander rubbed more furiously at his temples and nodded for her to continue.

�Okay. So I explained the vacation thing to Bob, and he arranged to send Giles to a happy, sunny dimension where he can have plenty of sex.� Anya and Xander both turned to Dawn at the mention of sex, but Dawn was still recovering from the shock of seeing Giles kiss Xander and she seemed oblivious to her surroundings. �Anyways, I promised we�d look after the Giles from the other dimension while they traded places.�

Xander felt as though someone had hefted a bloody great cleaver into his skull. �So�that means�?�

�That wasn�t Giles. That wasn�t our Giles,� said Dawn, who apparently had been listening after all.

�Of course it wasn�t Giles,� said Anya. �And now Xander�s gone and scared off our replacement Giles. He doesn�t come from this dimension�for all we know there�s no such things as vampires where he comes from and he�s out there right now asking directions from the nice, lumpy-faced man in the park.�

�Don�t worry,� said Xander. �He may not be our Giles, but he�s still Giles. He knows how to take care of himself.�

�That�s my point�he might not,� Anya insisted. �And if anything should happen to him� Let�s just say that the multi-verse hates imbalance.�

�Are you saying that if Don Juan out there gets himself dead, our Giles will die too?� asked Xander.

�There�s a very good chance, yes,� said Anya.

�Then I should go find him before he runs into any demons. Or worse�Buffy.�

The three of them silently reflected on what would happen if he came across Buffy and greeted her the same way he�d greeted them. They all shuddered.

~~~~~
Rupert set a fast pace, heading anywhere so long as it was away from home and the ugly scene he�d left behind. He wracked his brain, trying to find some reason why Xander should be so angry with him, but he kept coming up blank. They�d been happy this morning�all of them. But somehow, in the space of one afternoon, all that had changed. His world was coming unravelled�the one thing he could always be certain of, especially living on a Hellmouth, was the love of his family. Without that, he didn�t think he could go on. What would be the point?

Images of Dawn�s shocked face and Xander�s feverish rampage looped endlessly in his mind. It didn�t feel right. And, thinking back on it, some of what Xander said made no sense; he�d called Anya his fianc�e, for one thing. It�s not that he�d never heard the word before�he was a student of anthropology, after all�but he wouldn�t have thought Xander would know it. And he didn�t see how the word applied to them, anyway. It could be, of course, that Xander didn�t know what the word meant and had thrown it in by mistake.

But there were other things that felt off, too. Like Xander�s vehement objection to being kissed. He�d acted offended and embarrassed, as if even the thought of kissing him was an affront. Yet at the same time, he�d clearly enjoyed it. There were too many unanswered questions. What he needed right now was to find Buffy. Together they would find whatever was sucking the love out of Sunnydale and put a stake in it.

His feet automatically steered him to the most likely place she�d be�Restfield Cemetery. He didn�t have to go far to find her�he followed the familiar sounds of a skirmish in progress until he rounded the Holborn crypt and there she was, fighting off three vampires. Rupert kept to the shadows, ready to leap into the fray should it become necessary.

He was stunned to find her taking so much pleasure in pummelling the vampires. She should have staked them quickly and moved on, but instead, she toyed with them, tossing insults at them and teasing the creatures with a series of morbid jibes. Only when she got bored of playing with them did she finally go in for the kill. He�d never seen this dark and predatory side of her. It was so�un-Buffy-like.

Buffy pounded the dust out of her jacket as if she was delivering one last blow to her enemies. When he saw she was about to leave, Rupert decided to come out of hiding and confront his slayer, but Spike suddenly appeared from the far side of the clearing. Rupert thought it best to play it safe and observe their encounter from a distance.

�Looks like somebody�s got a bit of pent-up frustration to work out,� said the blond vampire, popping a cigarette into his mouth and lighting it with theatrical flair.

�Spike, if you want to finish this conversation without a piece of wood lodged in your ribcage, I suggest you change the subject. What do you want?� asked Buffy, annoyed and visibly hostile.

�What do I want?� Spike laughed bitterly. �That�s rich, coming from you! Try answering that question yourself, �cause, frankly, I�m tired of playing your games.�

�I don�t know what you�re talking about,� said Buffy defensively.

�No?� asked Spike. He flicked his cigarette away and grabbed her by the wrist. Then he yanked her close, ravishing her mouth with his own. Buffy pushed him away so hard that it sent him flying into a nearby tombstone, cracking it. From his vantage point in the shadows, Rupert winced�had that been him in Spike�s place, he�d probably be dead right now. It was clear that whatever had affected the rest of Sunnydale had taken hold of Buffy as well. But at least Spike appeared to be unaffected. Rupert imagined he was probably just as hurt and confused as he was right now.

Buffy glowered at the fallen vampire and marched out of the clearing as if daring him to follow. Pulling himself gingerly to his feet, Spike dusted off his jacket and stared directly into the shadows where Rupert was lurking.

�Watcher?� he said. �I know you�re out there, mate. Taking your job title a bit too literally, don�t you think? Did you at least get an eyeful?� he smirked; imagining the kind of astonishment and fury his little display with Buffy must have caused her overprotective watcher to feel.

Rupert came out of the shadows and smiled warmly at Spike. This should have been his big night�a festive occasion�but instead the vampire was wandering the cemetery, seeking out companionship and answers, just like he was doing himself. He wrapped the lean, blond man in his arms, not surprised to feel him struggling for release. Who could blame him? Especially if he�d had the kind of day Rupert was having.

Spike knew he was being played, but he just couldn�t figure out how. He didn�t like being toyed with�not by Buffy, and certainly not by her stodgy old watcher. He had half a mind to deck him one and sod the bloody consequences.

�Hush, Spike. It�s alright,� Rupert cooed in his ear. His hand trailed down Spike�s side to that spot just above his left hipbone�that sensitive spot that always made the vampire squirm in the best possible way.

�Jesus Bloody H. Christ!� Spike yelled, pushing Rupert away with enough force to give himself an instant migraine. He crumpled to the grass, palms pressing hard against his temples to hold back the waves of pain.

Rupert immediately came to his aid, trying to soothe him by gently stroking his hair. Spike batted his hand away as if he was fending off a swarm of gnats.

�Spike�?�

�Piss off!�

Rupert looked at him dejectedly. It looked like he�d been wrong about Spike. He was starting to think that the problem wasn�t with Sunnydale�that maybe the problem was with him. Something had happened to him that made him despicable to others. He plunked himself down on the grass next to the recuperating vampire and hung his head.

Spike got to his feet once more and started walking away. He was almost out of the clearing when his conscience got the better of him. He tried to convince himself that it wasn�t because he liked Giles�it was because Buffy and the Little Bit would never forgive him if he left him here in this state to get eaten by demons. With a heavy sigh he trudged back over to Rupert and crouched down next to him.

�Well you can�t sit there all night,� Spike said by way of apology.

�I can�t go home. I got the same reaction from Xander when I kissed him as you did when you kissed Buffy.�

�You kissed Xander?� Spike blurted, desperately trying to keep the laughter out of his voice.

�For some reason he took offence,� said Rupert.

�And that surprises you?� asked Spike in disbelief.

�It doesn�t surprise you?� Rupert countered.

�A lot of things surprise me, mate, but Xander freaking over you kissing him ain�t one of them.�

�Then it is me,� Rupert sighed. �Something happened today�I don�t know what, precisely�but it�s turned everyone against me. Perhaps Xander was right; maybe I should just leave.�

Spike eyed the man suspiciously�this maudlin, melodramatic attitude jarred with everything he knew about Giles. He couldn�t help feeling that this was some sort of test�that Buffy and the rest of the illustrious Scoobies were holed up in the bushes somewhere watching him through binoculars. Waiting for him to screw up�or laughing themselves silly. Thing of it was, he�d seen Giles� attempts at acting, and he was complete shite. And the despair emanating from the man before him was the genuine article. He could smell it.

�C�mon, Rupes. Let�s get you inside.� Spike offered his hand to Rupert, who grabbed hold of it and didn�t let go even after he was back on his feet. Spike scanned the bushes, half expecting the gang to jump out and shout �gotcha!� but they were quite alone, and he could see no harm in letting Giles hold his hand. What the hell, he thought; the poor sod�s not right in the head. They arrived at Spike�s crypt without being spotted, and Spike hurried to get Rupert inside before his luck ran out.

Rupert poked about�he�d never been inside Spike�s crypt before. It was roomier than he�d expected. And cleaner, too. The stone sarcophagus that resided in the middle of the crypt stood out as the only piece of furnishing that didn�t look homey. He stood beside it, patting it thoughtfully.

�It�s not the most comfortable bed, is it?� he said.

�Don�t be daft,� said Spike. �I don�t sleep on that thing. I�ve got a proper bedroom, don�t I?� Spike sauntered over to the trap door in the floor and pulled it open for Rupert to check out.

Rupert peered into the darkness below warily. He�d had too many nasty surprises today to risk venturing into a dark pit alone. That would be tempting fate too much. �After you,� he said.

�Afraid of the dark?� Spike leered. �Or d�you think I�m trying to trick you? What�s wrong, don�t you trust me?�

�Don�t be ridiculous! Of course I trust you. I trust you with my life. It�s just�I�d rather not go down there alone.�

Spike blinked mutely at his fellow Englishman, trying to wrap his brain around what he�d heard. �You mean it, don�t you?� he asked at last.

�Mean what?� asked Rupert.

�What you said just then. When you said you trusted me, you meant it�you�re not just having a laugh.�

Rupert looked deep into Spike�s blue eyes, reading the raw, unfiltered emotion brewing just below the surface. There was fear in those eyes, and a painful loneliness that didn�t belong there. Could it be that he had no notion of how important he was to them? To him? With his whole world out of whack, this, at least, was something he could set right. He placed his hand on Spike�s shoulder and led the unwilling vampire back to the sarcophagus.

�Have a seat, Spike. We need to talk.�

Spike didn�t know where this was leading, but he�d already shown too much of his hand to pretend he had nothing to hide. He hated himself for his inability to disguise his feelings�Giles� words affected him, caught him off guard, and Giles knew it. Scraping together as much dignity as he could, Spike jumped up and sat on the stone slab, swinging his feet up to sit cross-legged, hoping he looked more comfortable than he felt.

�Spike, it�s very important to me that you understand what it means to become a part of our family. I know we�ve never had a heart-to-heart on the matter, but then I always assumed it wasn�t necessary. You do realise that our relationship is one based on trust, don�t you? We�ve fought alongside each other a long time now; we�ve saved each other�s lives countless times over. And there�s not a soul on Earth Buffy trusts more to take care of her little sister�and that�s saying something. But when I looked into your eyes just now, I could see that you don�t feel that trust, and that pains me more than I can say. You�ve earned our trust, and I�m telling you right now that you have it. But I need to know that you trust me as well. I want you to trust me when I say that I honestly want you to be a part of our family,� said Rupert. Then he added, with a wicked leer; �After all, our relationship can�t survive on sex alone.�

Spike�s eyes bulged at that and he nearly fell off the tomb. �Sex! You and me?� he sputtered. �Alright�who are you and what did you do with the real Giles?�
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Last Resort