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Heaven Lost, Paradise Found	By : Moonliteyes70 Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Tara Views: 5450 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Heaven Lost, Paradise Found
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 2
- 3
- 4
Finally having allowed the silence to go on long enough, Tara sets her drink back, leans forward to look Buffy in the eyes than asks her, “Are you going to tell me why my seemingly-always-been-straight friend showed up in a lesbian bar down on Wilsher Blvd tonight, Buff or am I just to assume you’ve switched teams while I wasn’t looking?”
Mouth opening and closing a few times at the direct very blunt question from Tara Buffy snaps it closed takes a deep breath runs a hand over her face then looks back at the waiting Wicca saying, “After patrol I decided to go to the Bronze to blow off some steam, ya’ know dancing? But while I was making my way there I started to review my growing attraction for a - um – woman I know. Well, suffice it to say, I noticed all the women coming and going from this place and decided to stop in to see what it was like. I met Chelle by the front door and she made some comment about me being in the right place so we ordered drinks and began looking around, that’s when you saw me and here we are.”
Sitting back to take a much needed swallow of iced-tea Buffy watches as Tara assimilates her story before blue eyes meet her hazel ones with a curious lift to her lips she says, “So, you haven’t switched teams but you’re curious about being with a woman because you’ve found yourself attracted to one, and this – Illusia – just fell into place for you on your walk to the Bronze where you were going to blow off steam after slaying tonight. Do I have that right, Sweetie?”
Shifting in her seat as she tries to figure a way around telling the blonde witch that she is hornier than hell, attracted to her and was looking for a substituted for her because she didn’t believe Tara could ever love her, Buffy doesn’t answer right away and Tara watches the play of emotions on the Slayer’s face.
Leaning across the small table Tara takes Buffy’s hand in her own feeling a heat from the Slayer that she wasn’t expecting as the bar was kept quite cool and says, “Buffy, Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything and I will not judge you. We’d established that I thought. I can see you’re struggling with something so tell me – whatever it is it will be all right, I promise.”
Knowing she could trust the woman without a single doubt but also knowing that she didn’t trust herself, Buffy sighs heavily then begins, “First off, I need you to know that I trust you implicitly, Tara, so don’t ever believe that I would keep something from you for fear of you breaking that trust. No, that’s furthest from my mind.” And seeing a serious nod from the Wicca who says, “Good, that’s good, Sweetie. I am glad you trust me Buffy, but what –“
Stopping in mid-question as the petite blonde holds up her free hand to explain Tara realizes she is still holding Buffy’s other hand as her friend says, “It’s that I do not trust myself, Tar.” and drops her eyes before continuing, “I don’t ever want to lie to you Tara, but what I have to say may just ruin one of the greatest friendships that I’ve ever had.”
Squeezing the Slayer’s hand for support the Wicca says, “Sweetie, you will never lose my friendship, don’t you realize that?” ending in a whisper as she sees that Buffy still hasn’t stopped hating herself enough to understand that Tara could never, ever hate her, that in truth the witch loved the woman.
Finding herself getting angry at the Slayer’s self-hatred Tara pulls her hand away before leaning back in her chair to drink her tea in an effort to keep from yelling at Buffy.
Watching as Tara pulls her hand away with such a quick change coming over her expressive eyes; one moment caring, the next almost…angry, Buffy wonders to herself, “Now, what did I do to get that reaction?” before Tara sets her glass down hard sending drops splattering out onto the table as she leans over to the surprised Slayer to say in a grating voice, “Now, you listen to me, Buffy Summers! You have absolutely no reasons left to continue hating yourself, none – do you hear me? And if you think that I, that I could ever even come close to hating you then you Slayer, have another think coming!”
Gaping into flashing blue eyes as Tara reprimands her for her self-loathing it takes Buffy a minute to shuffle through the things Tara said, but more what she left unsaid before she blinks several times to whisper, “You – you l-love me…”causing the Wicca to gasp softly as she sits back in her chair.
Finally nodding her head, as there is no use trying to keep this truth to herself any longer, Tara admits, “I do Buffy, and I know you don’t see m-me as a-anything other th-than a friend, but I-I won’t lie to you either – I love you.” and stares is slight confusion as Buffy sits across from her with the biggest grin she’s ever seen on the Slayer’s face appearing so asks, “What are you grinning at, Buffy?”
Shaking her head bemusedly, Buffy smiles softly at the confused pout on Tara’s face as she explains, “The woman I’ve been attracted to…the one who I thought I couldn’t have, so I came in here to possibly find a substitute for, is you Tara Maclay.” and she watches as the blonde Wicca gapes at her softly before a grin to match her earlier one begins to form on Tara’s face.
Thinking to herself, “Buffy loves me! Buffy Summers, the Slayer, loves me – Tara Maclay!” before she stops to think over what else Buffy just said then frowns slightly asking, “Why did you think you couldn’t have me, Buffy?”
Blushing as she realizes her slip, the guilty woman grumbles, “Stupid Slayer.” making Tara smirk knowingly at her and say, “It wasn’t that you couldn’t have me, it’s that you thought you didn’t deserve me.”
Before the Wicca can scold her again Buffy says quickly, “I know, I know – no more hating myself, but Tara before finding out you loved me, I believed that - well you wouldn’t be able to – you know – love me be-because I-I had been w-with h-h-him.”
Without a word Tara jumps up to round the table so quickly that Buffy jumps up too, startled only to have the taller woman grab her around the neck and pull her in to a heated, passionate kiss, expressing everything she feels for the Slayer with action, since words didn’t seem to be getting through to her.
Pulling back to catch her breath Tara rest her forehead against Buffy’s before saying softly, “I love you, Sweetie – no conditions – no strings attached.” As the smaller blonde lifts her tearing eyes to deep blur love-filled ones and says, “Oh, Ok.” causing Tara to chuckle at her cutely.
Releasing the Slayer Tara pulls Buffy’s chair around next to hers and sits motioning for Buffy to do the same, as she does the Wicca says, “Now, you mentioned something about a substitute?” making Buffy groan and lower her head with a thump to the table top grumbling another, “Stupid Slayer.”
Shaking her head in amusement Tara lifts Buffy’s face from hiding to lean in and whisper against her ear, “You patrolled tonight and got a little worked up doing it, didn’t you Buffy?” and receives a shiver and a grunt of admission in reply as she continues, “So, your plan was to find some blonde to go home with for the night, hoping she could satisfy your…itch for me, hmm?” Whimpering as her arousal shoots through her from Tara’s contact against her ear straight to her center, the Slayer can only nod roughly and the Wicca growls against her ear sending another bolt of desire streaking through her before saying, “I can guarantee you, Sweetie, no one can even come close to scratching that itch but me! So, who are you going home with, Slayer?” and she pulls back to look into eyes practically glowing with desire.
Growling deep in her throat Buffy stand quickly causing he chair to fall back but leaves it as she grabs Tara by the hand to lead the shocked-but-loving-it Wicca toward the exit guiding them through the throng of women and on out into the night.
Standing unseen against the wall near the door the woman calling herself Chelle watches with a proud smirk as the two women get into the cab she had requested for them, not five minutes ago and sighs as her son pops in to say, “Hiya Moms! So, you got the Slayer and the Witch together, way to go!”
Turning to face him Aphrodite says, “Cupe – I thought I told you never to come near the lesbian joints. Sheesh kid, you don’t have a clue when it comes to them.”
Rolling his eyes the god of love gripes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I’m not here to mess with you grrls, mom. I just popped in to warn you, Bliss got out again. So, you might wanna watch out for any odd pairing, ya’ know.”
Shaking her head in exasperation the love-goddess sighs again then says, “Fine, I’ll keep my eyes peeled. Now, shoo – there’s a chick over there that needs a nudge in the right direction before she takes off like last time.”
Chuckling as he vanishes to let his mom do her thing, Cupid decides to follow the couple in the yellow cab just to make sure they really do get their groove on.
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Heaven Lost, Paradise Found