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Independence	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Faith/Willow Views: 7379 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Independence

By Norwalker
Summary: What did Willow and Faith discuss in that little car trip from L.A. to Sunnydale in season 7? And what were the consequences? A Willow/ Faith story
Rating: R, Very R

Category: romance/drama/angst

Spoilers: Possible season 7 spoilers. Possible season 4 Angel spoilers. C'mon, you must have seen 'em by now!

Time Line: Mid season 7(after the return of Faith) and beyond
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.
Warnings: Adult themes, violence, sexual situations between members of the same gender. Please be aware, character death is always a distinct possibility. It can happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you!!! Any racist remarks are spoken by the characters, and are in no way shared by the author. This story is not meant for children.
To Pasha. Thanks for the inspiration.
Independence - Part 3

5 a.m.
Sunnydale
A year ago
Faith is in the backyard of Casa Summers, looking at the fading night sky. The horizon is just beginning to lighten as the sun threatens to rise yet another morning.
What a fucking disaster!
Faith is beginning to think she should've taken finding that wounded girl in the road as a warning sign, and turned her ass back to L.A. Instead she breezed right into Sunnyhell, and stepped into a giant pile of crap.
Red was wrong. Buffy doesn't need help. Buffy's plain outta her mind. Thinkin' she can turn a bunch of little girls, potentials or no, into a fighting force against... that? Shit, if that Caleb dude is the kinda thing we're goin' up against, we're in real deep shit here. That guy tossed us around like we were a bunch of dolls. Killed two potentials right off, put out Xander's eye and nearly pummeled me and B straight into the ground. How the fuck we supposed to fight that? I mean I don't mind heavy odds, but there's gotta be some kinda hope.
'We're gonna take the fight to them. He's not gonna be expecting a full on attack this soon. ' Yeah, well that worked out real well, didn't it ? He mopped the floor with us, didn't hardly break a sweat, and laughed at us the whole time. What the hell IS he, anyway? Can't be human... nothing human can do that. Shit, no demon I know can do that. He just had to know when he sent that 'message' that Buffy would rise to the bait. And of course she did, without even thinkin' about it. Rushed right in and nearly got us killed, the bunch of us. What the hell was she thinkin' ?
9 hours previously. In the woods around Sunnydale.
Faith and Buffy are following one of the Bringers back to Caleb's. Despite the fact that he's blind, he seems to 'see' better than the two slayers, moving confidently through the woods as if it were daylight. The two slayers, trying to stay behind enough to avoid detection, are having a time of it keeping him in sight.
"Shit!" Faith curses softly, nearly tripping
" Faith!" Buffy hisses, " Quiet. We don't wanna let him know we're following him!"
" Well, don't get your panties in a bunch, B." Faith whispers, " I just didn't see that tree root".
The Bringer stops, 'looking' around , trying to sense anyone that might be following. The two slayers duck behind the bushes.
"Well, hell, he can 'see' pretty damned good for being blind" Faith mutters.
" Quiet, please, Faith" Buffy whispers. She raises her head up, trying to see what the bringer is doing. She sees him start to take off again , and waves back at Faith to follow. Faith gets up, and the two slayers are on the move again.
"B?" Faith whispers. Buffy, intent on following the Bringer, doesn't hear her. Faith calls out a little louder, " B?!"
"What?" Buffy whispers back, her tone a tiny bit irritated, " What is it, Faith?".
"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Faith asks.
" Following the Bringer?" Buffy asks, playing dumb. Not wanting to get into this discussion with Faith, " What else we gonna do? We gotta find where Caleb's holed up."
"That's not what I mean, B." Faith says, " this whole thing. Taking on Caleb like this. Kinda rushing it, don't you think?"
"So, what, Faith?" Buffy queries, " we wait til like he has his ... whatever he has, in line, ready to go?. Or, maybe we should just sit back and wait for him to come to us? That what you think?".
"No, " Faith replies, getting irritated, " But you're doing exactly what he wants. I mean, c'mon B. That whole ' I got something of yours' ruse. Kinda has "Trap" written all over it."
"God, not you too, " Buffy says, exasperated.
" Not me too, what?" Faith asks, " I'm just sayin' we should find out more about him. What his deal is."
" Where we gonna find out about him? Insane-o 's Home Journal?" Buffy asks, sarcastically, " What do you think, Faith? Should we just go up to the First and ask ' Hey, what's the deal with Caleb?' Think that'll work?"
"Not even going to answer that one, B" Faith says.
" Look, Faith, I'm tired of waiting for them to come to us," Buffy says," He says he's got something of mine. I wanna get it back! Are you with me or not, Faith?"
"Alright, whatever" Faith says, tired of arguing, " You know me... just drop me in the hornet's nest, I'm good. I'm with ya on this."
"Good," Buffy says. They come up to the edge of an old Winery. They stop, keeping to the forest. They see the Bringer they've been following enter. They wait awhile, and a couple more show up, and enter the building.
" That must be it, " Buffy says, " We better get back and get the troops. Sooner we go the better".
Faith nods, and they turn around, heading back to the house. They cut through the woods silently, then Buffy stops. It's obvious something's on her mind.
" What? Why're we stopping?" Faith asks, puzzled.
" Look, Faith... I'm sorry, ok?" Buffy says.
Faith is immediately suspicious. " About what?" She asks.
"I'm not dismissing you. I know what you're saying is valid, ok?" Buffy says, " But I've been dealing with the First a lot longer. I've tried waiting, tried finding out more about what it's doing. But it doesn't play fair, Faith. It plays by it's own rules. We wait, more die. I've already lost too many... hell, losing one is too many. We can't over think this, Faith. We gotta strike before Caleb has time to get ready."
Faith has a small rueful grin on her face. Buffy looks at her, puzzled.
"What?" Buffy asks
" It's kinda ironic, B, " Faith remarks, " Seems like there was a time you'd be telling me to stop and think, and I'd be telling you thinking gets you dead."
"Yeah," Buffy says pensively, " Maybe I was wrong. About a lot of things."
"Whoa," Faith says, shaking her head, " Could you say that into my other ear? I thought I just heard you say you were wrong?"
Buffy hit Faith in her arm. " Knock it off" She growls.
" Still waiting for that guy with the scratchy voice to come out and tell me we're in the Twilight Zone" Faith teases, enjoying Buffy's discomfort.
"Faith, " Buffy says, trying to hold her temper, " I'm just trying to say... I should've tried harder. To see your side of things. I... got jealous. I thought you just ... I thought that you had this freedom I could never have. And all my friends seemed to be on your side. I didn't see that you just wanted someplace to be. To be part of things. That you had stuff to contribute, and I just didn't listen. I'm... I'm sorry".
Not that easy, B. Faith thinks, but she knows it wasn't easy for Buffy to say what she did. Still, there's too much residual stuff to just get all mushy here.
" We don't have to hug now, do we?" Faith says, a touch of cynicism in her voice.
Buffy looks at Faith as if she's gone insane. " Hell no!" Buffy says. She quickly changes the subject. "Lets get back, we're wasting time here".
They move quickly to make up for lost time.
" I'm still not liking this, B" Faith says, not letting Buffy off the hook.
" Yeah, well... somebody's gotta be in charge. That'd be me" Buffy says, " Any questions?"
"Yeah... we're you always this bossy?" Faith asks, " No, wait. I remember. You were."
" Funny" Buffy says, not sounding amused, " Were you always this much a pain in the ass? Wait, I remember. You were!".
" Bustin' a gut here, B" Faith says, as they walk up to the porch.
Two more potentials dead. Rona and Xander in the hospital. More wounded, just not bad enough for the hospital. All of them scared thoroughly outta their minds... who can blame them? They're freakin', and where's there leader? Out somewhere... doing God knows what.
"Hey" a voice interrupts Faith's thoughts. She turns and sees Willow standing in the doorway.
"Yeah?" Faith asks abruptly. Not so sure she's in the mood to be talking to anyone right now.
"Just wanted to see if you're ok, " Willow says, sitting down next to her, " Are you ok?"
" Just peachy, Red" Faith says, her voice dripping sarcasm, " Gotta say so far, things are just goin' great. I just love getting my ass whipped by some half mad preacher guy with a real hatred for females. Never mind watching helplessly while he kills to little girls in front of my eyes, half blinds Xander, and breaks Rona's arm. Oh, and hey, being told I'm a filthy whore? Just the cherry on the crap sundae we had." Faith gets up and walks away, " Man, it's days like today makes me proud to be a slayer... I did so good". Bitterness replaces sarcasm in Faith's voice.
Willow comes and puts a hand on her shoulder, but Faith shrugs it off. Willow looks at her with sympathy.
" Faith, you can't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault, " Willow says, gently," You did your best, I know that".
" You're not getting it, Red, " Faith says, harshly, " I shoulda done better, but that fiasco wasn't my fault. That was totally Buffy's mess".
"Faith..." Willow's voice carries a warning note to it.
" C'mon, Willow, how far does you're loyalty extend?" Faith asks, edgily, " Buffy stampeded us into this little ... escapade... and look at the results. Everybody tried to tell her it was a fucking trap, but did she listen? Oh, no, not THE SLAYER. She knows best. She overruled us all. Well, it turned out to be a disaster. Two more girls had to die so Buffy could do her thing. Tell me the right there? How 'bout Xander? Think he's all happy losing an eye? Those girls in there are scared shitless, Red" Faith says, her anger rising, " And where's their fearless leader? Out taking a walk. I spent an hour trying to calm them down. They NEEDED her to be there, to try to reassure them... and she's out getting the night air. So, tell me, Red, " Faith asks, her voice back to sarcastic, " whose fault is it?"
Willow's demeanor hardens, " You've been here what? 2 days? Buffy's had to deal with this a lot longer, Faith. She's been doing everything she can to keep these girls safe. And fed, and sheltered. And try to support the household, and everything else around here. We try to help, but she's got the whole load on her shoulders, Faith," Willow is steaming, " Why'd you think I brought you here? Did you think this was gonna be a picnic? I need you to try to take some of the load off her. To help her. Do you think you can do that?"

"Can't help someone who doesn't want it, Red" Faith says, simply.
"What're you babbling, Faith?" Willow says, irritated.
" She doesn't want help, Red," Faith replies, " She wants soldiers. Fodder. She's convinced she's right, everybody else is wrong. Like tonight, for instance. Did she once even consider that Caleb might be setting a trap for us? Nope. Just bulled right in, and got some of us really dead. Everybody tried to warn her, including you. Did she listen? Did she even consider it? No way." Faith changes tack, " Think about it, Red. Does she even know half the names of the potentials in there? Don't think so. I've been here 2 days, and I'll betcha I know more of their names than she does. Is that giving you a clue, Red? If not, then you're a bit slow on the uptake!"
" So... what? Who's gonna lead, then?" Willow asks, " You?"
"Are you nuts? You think I want her job? No way!" Faith says.

"Then who, Faith? Who's gonna do a better job?" Willow presses.
" Right now, Red? I think you're little girlfriend could do a better job!" Faith replies, a little cynically.
"What are you talking about?" Willow says, evasively," Girlfriend?"
" Oh, c'mon, Red, you think I'm as blind as Buffy?" Faith asks, " I mean, she might be wearing wrap-around blinders, but anyone with eyes can see you and Kennedy are like an item."
Willow starts to protest, but Faith cuts her off.

" Don't even try to deny it, Will, " Faith says, smirking, " it's like the gossip of half the girls inside. I can tell ya Kenny sure aint denying it."
"Faith," Willow said, sounding frustrated, " This is beside the point. You're standing there, telling me Buffy isn't fit to lead... but unless you've got some other, serious candidate in mind, exactly what IS the point?"
" You wanna point, Red?" Faith says, her voice hard edged, " unless you, or someone who's close to Buffy talks to her, gets her to see that she's gotta step back, cool down, get some perspective, then you're pretty little illusion that you can win this fight is gonna fall to pieces". Faith walks up the steps of the porch, and inside, letting the door close behind her.
Leaving a conflicted Willow standing on the porch.
Morning of the next day
Faith wakes a few hours later, the sun mercilessly beating down on her eyelids.
She sighs, and sits up, her body aching from the fight last night. The only thing she's happy about was that she' had the presence of mind to shower before laying down. She can hear the munchkins in the hall, waiting for the bathroom, and she's in no mood to deal with that this morning. She looks around the room, noticing her 'roomies' have already left. Thank whoever. No mood to deal with questions this morning.
She pulls her bag from under her makeshift bed, and army surplus cot with one of those really thin, lumpy mattresses. Guess I should be happy not a sleeping bag. She dresses quickly, not caring what she looks like this morning. She feels all hot and achy and her mind is wooly. She needs caffeine, pronto.
Leaving her 'room', the smatterings of conversation in the bathroom queue stop suddenly. She can feel the tension in the air, and all eyes are on her, some accusing, and some questioning. She almost makes a crack, but decides against, figuring they got enough to talk about already. Fear, anger and confusion are rolling off the girls in waves. Not good, not at all good. Dissension in the ranks. She shakes her head, and goes downstairs.
Entering the kitchen, she sees Willow, Dawn, Anya, Kennedy, Andrew and Amanda crowding around, trying to do something like make breakfast. Faith's stomach turns over, food right now sounds like poison. She looks hopefully at the coffee pot, and finds respite when she sees it's full. She makes her way through the crowd, reaching the cupboard and grabbing a coffee mug. She makes her way to the coffee pot and imminent relief.
Sipping her coffee, she makes an effort to ignore the whispered conversations. But then Anya speaks, and any pretense at getting a little peace this morning goes flying out the window.
" Why doesn't anyone just say it?" Anya asks, " Buffy screwed up last night. She rushed in, when everybody knew it was a trap, and it's a big mess now. This Caleb is strong, stronger than she can handle, and we're in for a world of hurt."

The kitchen goes silent, everyone staring at Anya. She looks around, surprised.
" Hey, I'm only saying what everybody's thinking!" She defends herself. She looks unhappy.
"Well, thank you for that report, Ms. Sunshine" Faith mocks.
"What?" Anya says, perturbed.

" I'm hopin' you're not expecting kudos for sharing that with us, " Faith says, her voice harsh." Guess what, Blondie? We're already kinda clued in to what happened last night. It's really not helpful for someone on the sidelines to be criticizing what's going on. What's your deal, anyway? I mean, Kennedy and I were there. Willow was here, protecting the other potentials. What exactly are you doing to contribute, Anya?"
"Hey, I do plenty" Anya protests.

" Yeah? Like what?" Faith asks, taunting her.
"Well, " Anya's brow furrows, thinking. She brightens, " Today, for instance, I'm leading a class on the Turok- Han!"

Faith doesn't reply; the look on her face says it all.
"Well, I do a lot of other things too, " Anya says, whining a little.
" I'm sure you do, " Faith says, ironically, " But it's really tough to hear you complain when you're all safe here, and the rest of us are risking our necks, ya know? I mean, I heard you're supposed to be some powerful vengeance demon or something..."

" EX-Demon" Anya corrects.
"Whatever. All I'm saying is, before you put your 2 cents in, maybe you should try doing more to help the fight. Ya think?" By this time Faith has moved close to Anya, nearly in her face. Anya backs up a little, but doesn't quit.
" Xander, " She says, her tone aggrieved, " He got hurt. Because of her, " Anya says. She looks at Faith, " I don't see you looking all that hurt. Why didn't you protect him better? He doesn't have superpowers... why was he even there?!"
" I dunno... maybe I was trying to protect the other potentials, and fighting for my life," Faith says, her anger rising dangerously, " Xander's a big boy, he's been through this before, he knew the risks. The others... not so," Faith says, " Anyway, if you're so worried about Xander, why weren't YOU there, watching his back?".
Anya goes silent, the guilt and worry plain on her face. Faith relents.
"Uh-huh, " Faiths says, but her tone isn't unkind," Look, Anya, I'm sorry that Xander got hurt. Really. But we lost two more potentials last night...they never get a chance to grow up now. The other girls are already upset enough. Do you think you popping off is helping?"
Anya, chastened, shakes her head.
" Ok, then, " Faith says, turning away to get another cup of coffee. She sees Andrew, with his camcorder, recording the scene. She's already pissed at him because of the stories he's been spreading around about her. Fucking tough enough trying to get these girls trained, without them thinking I'm gonna go nuts on them any moment. She storms over and grabs the camcorder out of his hands.
"HEY!" Andrew whines, " That's mine. Give it back!"
Faith looks at the camera, and figures out the controls. Rewinding it, she erases the last little scene from Andrew's tape. She looks up at him.
" Listen to me, geek-boy. Anya may irritate me, but she's somewhat useful. YOU, on the other hand, are just useless. IF I catch you pointing this thing at me again, I'm gonna cram it so far up your body, you'll never get it back, clear?" Faith says, staring at him. Andrew blanches, and nods. Faith hands him the camera. He grabs it, and scurries away, afraid she might do it anyway.
" Andrew!", Anya says, " I'm going downstairs to set up for class. Come with me and help?"
Andrew, grateful to escape the wrathful Faith, nods, and retreats from the kitchen quickly. Both leave.
Faith turns around, and sees the rest of the kitchen crew staring at her.
"What?" She asks, impatiently
No one says anything, suddenly finding something to keep them busy. Faith retreats to the coffee pot, wishing suddenly she had something stronger. She could use a drink or twelve right now. She grabs the paper for something to do; something to hide behind.
Willow, preparing breakfast for the hordes, glances up at Faith occasionally, trying to read her. She's obviously pretty upset, Willow muses, noting her slumped posture and attempt to hide behind the paper. Willow feels a strong yearning to go over and hold her, try to comfort her. She feels an almost maternal urge to protect her. She shakes her head. Goddess, now that's silly. Faith hardly needs me to protect her! Still, she doesn't like seeing her in pain, and wishes she could make it better for her. But she stops herself; she knows Faith would probably just reject it, and Kennedy would get jealous, misinterpreting what she was doing. When did it all get so complicated, anyway?
Willow's thoughts are interrupted when the hungry horde descends on the kitchen. She puts out platters of food, watching as the girls serve themselves. She notes that last night's tragedy doesn't seem to have affected their appetites. The girls grab food and start wandering off, looking for their friends and someplace to eat.
"Hey, don't go too far" Willow calls out, " When your done, head downstairs. Anya has more information on the Turok-han you gotta hear". There is a collection of groans, mumblings and mutterings, but no one goes very far.
Willow, glancing at Faith again, notices she hasn't gotten any food. What does she think this is? A restaurant? Sighing, Willow puts together a plate for her, and takes it over.
"Hey, here. You should eat something, " Willow says, quietly.
" Not hungry," Faith says, not looking up. Willow frowns.
" You're gonna feel better with something in your stomach, " Willow says, firmly, " You can't live on coffee, you know".
" I said I'm not...." Faith looks up, irritated. She stops when she sees the "don't mess with me" expression on Willow's face. Well, well, looks like Red grew a pair overnight. Faith chuckles to herself. And the smell of the food does make her tummy start to rumble.

" Ok, fine, I'll eat... mom" Faith mocks her gently. Grabbing some silver out of the drainer, she makes her way over to the breakfast table, and starts to eat.
Buffy stands at her front door, hesitating to open it.
She is tired to death. The dark circles under her eyes and the perpetual frown she wears are only hints at the bone deep weariness she feels. She feels like she's carrying a huge boulder on her back; with each defeat they suffer, the boulder becomes heavier, more crushing. Her physical wounds are minor; some scratches, a cut or two, and a number of bruises. Some of her muscles are twisted and throbbing. But it's the wounds that you can't see, the wounds to her psyche, that are the deep ones, the ones that threaten her existence. It feels as if her heart has been cut to pieces, and patched back together badly. Her blood feels hot, tainted, as if she's been poisoned. A deep sickening infection is eating her soul; she feels as if she's dying slowly from the inside.
Buffy reaches for the doorknob and stops herself when she sees her hand shaking. Get yourself under control, Buffy. They don't have time for you to go to pieces now. She squeezes her eyes shut, her jaw clenching in concentration. Slowly, her hand stops shaking. If only I could stop the fear and dread I feel that easily. Stop it, Buffy. You can do this. You gotta do this; they need you now.
Squaring her shoulders, she opens the door and goes inside.
Faith is just putting her plate in the sink when she hears the front door open. Turning, she walks to the kitchen door just as Buffy calls out.
" Hello? Anyone here?" Buffy calls, coming through the foyer to the living room. Seeing no one in the living room, she heads for the kitchen, where she sees Willow, Kennedy, Amanda and Faith.
"Isn't Anya having a class on the Uber vamps?" Buffy asks.
Willow nods, indicating the basement.
" So, how come you two aren't there?" Buffy asks Amanda and Kennedy.
The two potentials look at each other, then at Buffy.
"We're going now" Kennedy says shortly, and she and Amanda go down into the basement.
Buffy watches them go, her brow furrowed. That girl is gonna be trouble, She thinks to herself, about Kennedy. She turns back to Willow.
"How're they holding up?" Buffy asks Willow.
Willow is about to reply when Faith cuts her off.
" How'd ya expect them to be doin, B?" Faith asks, her tone a little cold, " They're dealing".
" I was asking Willow, Faith" Buffy says, brusquely. She turns back to Willow.
" They're upset, of course," Willow says, acknowledging Faith, " But they're for the most part dealing with it. There is a lot of tension, though, and some muttering".
Buffy nods, as if it's to be expected. Faith turns away, muttering something under her breath.
" I'm sorry, I didn't hear that Faith," Buffy says, her tone cold in reaction to Faith's earlier comments.
" I said, " Faith says, " Who can blame them?"
"And that means?...." Buffy asks, annoyed.

" You're kidding, right?" Faith asks, nearly incredulous, " After that fiasco last night, you really gotta ask?"
"Faith, this isn't the time for that!" Willow declares, not liking what's happening.

" When IS the right time, Red?" Faith asks, sarcastically, " when they're all dead?"
Willow gasps, and Buffy's neck reddens, soon followed by her face. She stares at Faith, and her eyes seem to cut holes through her.

" Outside, now!" Buffy snarls quietly.
" Buffy... no, this isn't right..." Willow says, trying to calm her friend down, "She didn't mean anything."

" Whatcha gonna do, B? Beat me up?" Faith mocks Buffy.
" Get outside now!" Buffy's voice is low, but hard.
"Fine," Faith says, turning on her heel. She exits towards the back door.
" Buffy. No. This isn't the time to fight with her. There's too much at stake" Willow tries to appeal to Buffy's reason.
" We're not gonna fight, Will. Don't worry," Buffy says, trying to make herself calm, " But we gotta get this out. Just stay here and don't let any of the girls come out." Buffy turns, and walks towards the back door.
" Buffy!" Willow calls, still trying to get her to stop.
Buffy hold up her hand. " Just do it, Will" She says, and exits out the back door.
Buffy finds Faith in the backyard, facing away from her. She sees Faith, though her shoulders are slumped, is all tensed up. Her hands are fisted, and she looks ready for a fight. Great, just great. This is so what I need right now!
" Ok, Faith, what is it?" Buffy asks to Faith's back, " What's your problem?"
" Not my problem, B, " Faith says, turning around, " It's your problem!".
" Oh. And just what is My problem, Faith?" Buffy asks, derisively

"C'mon, B. You can't be that blind," Faith says," Look around you. This ... all of this... is falling apart. Or don't you see that?!"
"Falling apart? What the hell are you talking about?" Buffy asks, " Yeah, sure, we had a set back last night, but we'll recover..."
" 'Set back' ? " Faith stares at her, not believing what she just heard, " is that what you call last night? Cuz, from where I was standing, we got creamed!"
" Yeah, it didn't go very well, " Buffy admits, defensively, " But were just gonna have to do better next time!"
"Next time? You really think anyone's gonna go back in that place again?" Faith is totally blown away with how out of touch Buffy is with the situation, " they know what went on. No one's gonna go back there again. Not like that!"
" Faith, get with it. We can't wait for Caleb to come to us. If we do, I can guarantee you that none of the girls are gonna make it, " Buffy says, " We gotta go back there. Find a way to take him out".
"B. You're not getting it, " Faith says, shaking her head, " You're just not getting it."
" Then enlighten me, Faith. Please!" Buffy says, mockingly.
" These aren't warriors. These aren't soldiers. Their little girls. They didn't choose this fight, they're stuck in it. They're doing their best, but in the end, they just aren't ready for it," Faith says, " They look to you for leadership, and you're not giving it to them. They think you've lost it, are out of control. That you're throwing them at an enemy, regardless of what happens, cuz you aint got a clue how to fight this".
" That's not true, Faith, I'm doing the best I can" Buffy says.

"Are you B?" Faith shoots back, " Why aren't you listening to anyone, then? You got lots of people around you, smart people. But you don't listen."
" I listen!" Buffy declares.
"Really? What about last night?" Faith queries, " You didn't listen very good last night. Everybody told you it was a trap. But you went ahead anyway, rushed us in there, right into Caleb's trap, " Faith says, " We got our asses thoroughly kicked. Xander's out, Rona's out, and we lost two potentials. Because you wouldn't even TRY to find something out about Caleb and his plans. You wouldn't listen to anyone but yourself!".
" Faith, I told you last night. Someone's gotta be in charge. This can't be a democracy." Buffy says, quietly.

" I'm not suggesting it has to be, "Faith responds, " But every good leader knows you have to listen to more than your own ideas. You gotta step back, take stock of your resources, and use them best you can. You can't just shunt everybody to the sides, expecting it all to fall into line".
"Faith. You said I don't get it, but it's you not getting it, " Buffy says, " You think I don't listen, but I do. I listen hard. I keep hoping someone'll come up with the magic plan to defeat the First. But it's not happening, Faith, it's just not happening, " Buffy says. She lets her guard down for a moment, and in that moment Faith sees into what's going on with her. She sees the dark circles under the eyes, the weary, deadened look, the worry, the pain the guilt etched upon Buffy's face. But only for a moment, because in the next instant Buffy hardens back up." In the end, Faith, I'm responsible. Me. I didn't want it, but I'm stuck with it. So, I gotta make the hard decisions, not you, not Giles, not Willow... no one but me. Like it or not, we're at war. In war, there's one leader, and everybody else has gotta fall in line. Not time for feelings, no time for egos."
" These aren't soldiers, Buffy. They're people. Scared people. They're not gonna just fall in line, not if they don't believe in you, " Faith says, " not if they don't trust you."
" They better, Faith. They better fall in line, " Buffy says," Cuz the other choice is, they're dead!"

" Tell that to Molly, Buffy, " Faith says, " Tell that to Chloe, or the other girls who've died. They don't trust you, they don't like you, Buffy. Don't you understand that? You gotta lighten up on them a little, Buffy. You gotta give them some space, some room to blow off some steam".
" Do you think I care, Faith?" Buffy asks, quietly, " They don't like me? They don't trust me? Ok, I get it. I'm not running a popularity contest here, Faith. Don't you think I know they think I'm the bitch from hell?" Buffy stares at Faith, " They hate me. Great. Let them. Let them hate me for all their lives. When they're surrounded by their kids and their fat, happy grandkids, let 'em tell what a bitch I was. How much they hated me. Just as long as they live long, full happy lives with lots of kids and grandkids in it!" Buffy feels the emotions welling up, but she can't show them, not now. Gotta hold on, gotta. She turns on her heel, not waiting for a response from Faith. She starts towards the back door.
" B, wait! We're not done!" Faith calls out, then starts to follow.
"We're done, Faith. I don't have lots of time for hand holding. That's a problem but deal with it, " Buffy says, over her shoulder, " You got a choice. Get in line, or get out of my way". With that, Buffy exits through the back door, letting the screen slam after her.
Fine, Buffy, just fine, Faith says to herself, as she walks up the porch steps.
You do it your way, I'll do it mine!
Late evening, that same day.
Faith finds herself alone again, this time in the living room of Casa Summers. The day, which started out crappy, spiraled out of control from there.
She's sitting in the dark, the only light coming through the front window. She's staring out into the street, trying to put some order to the chaos of thoughts running through her head.
It started out innocently enough. All day long, she'd watched as the tension in the house grew worse. During training, most of the girls had just grouped off, talking about what happened, about Buffy, about everything except their training. It was a joke. Morale was in the dumper, and the mutterings and grumbling were getting louder. Faith knew if she didn't do something soon, it was gonna blow, and it was gonna get ugly.
Buffy was out( how typical), so she decided to act on her own.
" I'm taking them out. They need to get out of this house," Faith says, explaining to Willow and Giles, " They're about ready to blow. They need to blow off some steam".
" I dunno... Buffy's gonna be pretty steamed when..." Willow says, but Faith cuts her off.
"Red, Buffy's not here. and besides, screw Buffy." Faith says, letting her anger show a little, " B would have these girls locked in little cells when they're not training or fighting. Thing is, she's not here to talk to them, or try to ease their minds. Well, it's getting' bad, and they need a night out."
Dawn walks in at the moment, catching the last of the conversation.
"Night out?" She says, " Where... who?"
" You, me and the potentials," Faith says." We're going to the Bronze," She looks at Giles and Willow. " Wanna come?"
"Somebody best stay here, to intercept Buffy" Giles says, " Guess I'll volunteer for that. I have to tell her about Spike, anyway."
"What about Spike?" Faith asks.
" I sent him on a little mission up north. With Andrew". Giles said, " Seems our boy Caleb didn't make Sunnydale his first stop".
" Well, I can't say I'm sorry he's out of the house, " Faith says, " him living in the basement gave me a good set of the wigs". Faith turns to Willow, " So, what about you. Coming?" Faith says, smiling a little, " Don't you think you could use a night out, too? And, it'll go down better if I have another chaperone for the munchkins".
" I dunno, " Willow says, looking indecisive.
"C'mon, Red. It'll be a hoot." She looks at Willow, and plays her trump card, " You're just scared, aren't ya? You know you can't back up that claim about being a better dancer than me. Chicken".
" I'm not a chicken!" Willow protests, " I'm just not sure it's a good idea for me to go out".
" Chicken" Faith mocks her, " bruck, bruck, bruuuuuck!" Faith grins at her.
" Chicken, my butt" Willow says, rising to the challenge, " I'm so gonna dance you're ass off".
" Yeah, dream on, sister," Faith says, " Anyway, you're girlfriend aint gonna let you!"
"Kennedy's not the boss of me!" Willow declares, " I can dance with anyone I want to!"
" Whoo hoo, Red's grown a pair" Faith chuckles. She turns to Dawn. " Hey, why're you standing there? Get the girls and we're outta here".
So they were. So, how was she to know that the cops had a warrant on her? and that they were gonna go psycho on her, trying to kill her? Of course she had to defend herself. And who showed up, hopping mad, just as the fight's over.
Uh-huh. Buffy.
"What the hell were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?" Buffy demands," You bring the girls here, out in the open where they're vulnerable, and of course you get into a fist fight with the police!"
" They NEEDED to get out of that house, B. They were going nuts there!" Faith shoots back, " Of course, how would you know? Seeing as you're almost never there!"
"That's a load, Faith, " Buffy says," You just wanted a night out, and dragged the girls with you. You put them all in danger bringing them here."
" I put them in danger?" Faith turns on Buffy, " What about you, when you dragged them to Caleb's? What about Amanda, Rona and Molly. Were they safe?"
Buffy's control cracks, and she decks Faith. She walks away.
Nice, Buffy, Faith thinks, rubbing her jaw in the dark. She can still feel the punch. How about sometime you punch me somewhere else... like in the gut?
That was only the prelude of things to come.
Because by the time she got back from the Bronze, Buffy had called a meeting... with the insane idea of going BACK to the vineyards, again.
"... He's protecting the vineyards, or something in the vineyards. I think it's his power. I say we go back in, and take it from them." Buffy finishes her speech.
" Here's a crazy idea," Faith says, acerbically, " What say we don't? I mean, nice theory, B. But where's the proof? I'm not going back in there unless there's proof he's got something there. Neither should you, and neither should they" Faith indicates the potentials.
Buffy tried to argue her point, but it got ugly. Really ugly. As Faith watched, the potentials, everybody turned on Buffy. She found herself suddenly very alone. It degenerated into her trying to take authority as slayer...until one of the girls remembered Faith was a slayer. Faith tried to squash that idea, but they voted Faith into the leadership, and voted Buffy off the island. Not before Buffy turned on Faith and essentially accused her of engineering the revolt. She finally made a last appeal to the scoobies, saying she couldn't stand and watch it all go to hell. But Dawn, yes, Dawn , said Buffy either had to fall in line, or get out. Buffy got out. She walked out the front door, Faith on her heels.
" Buffy! This ... this isn't what I wanted..." Faith says, trying to stop her.
"Don't" Buffy says, not turning around, her voice sounding harsh.
" Honestly, I didn't mean for this to happen..."
" Don't... be afraid to lead them, " Buffy turns around, tears threatening to spill, " Like it or not, their lives are in your hands now. Protect them, but don't be afraid to lead them". She turns and leaves the porch, and walks towards the street.
That scene keeps playing over and over in Faith's mind, as she sits here in the dark.
Their lives are in your hands now. Protect them, but don't be afraid to lead them
She sat there, her stomach hurting from tension and worry.
She hadn't signed up for this, she didn't want this.
She can't do this. She can't, she can't, she goddamned cant!
She groans softly, leaning her head in her hands. She realizes, she has no choice.
She has to.
Willow is standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at the shadowy form of Faith. Even from here she can feel the distress and anguish rolling off of Faith. She looks so small, so fragile down there. Willow knows Kennedy's waiting for her back in their room, but she decides that right now, Faith needs someone more. She descends the stairs , and quietly calls out to Faith, so not to disturb the household, or startle Faith.
" Faith?" Willow calls softly.
" Yeah, Red?" Faith calls back. God, why won't they leave me alone?
Willow walks over to where Faith is sitting, and stands by her. " Are you doing ok?" She asks solicitously.
Faith looks up at her, balefully. She got me into this. God, I want to strangle her! She doesn't put thought to deed, however, and just answers her instead.
" Oh, yeah, I doin' great, Red, " Faith says, the sarcasm heavy in her voice, "I'm doing the happy dance here. You just can't see cause I'm doing it so fast."
" I'm sorry," Willow says, her tone a little defensive, " I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do".
" Oh, I think you've done plenty, don't you?" Faith says, acidly.
" Ok, ok, I get it, " Willow says, plainly hurt now, " I'll leave you alone. I obviously made a mistake coming downstairs". She turns to leave, more upset than she can believe.
Faith sighs. Aw, crap! " Red... Red?" Faith says, quietly, " Willow! Stop...please... I'm sorry" Faith says, contritely.
Willow stops, but doesn't turn around, " You didn't have to get hostile, you know".
"I'm sorry, Red, I really am" Faith says, putting her hands on Willow's shoulders. Faith turns her around." I get hostile when I get scared."
" You're scared?" Willow says, looking into Faith's face.
" Big time, Red," Faith says. " I don't got a clue what I'm gonna do here. I can barely take care of myself. How'm I gonna take care of all these girls? I ... I don't know what to do, or how to lead them. But I gotta somehow, and I just ... god, I've never felt this scared in my life!" Faith turns away, afraid Willow will see the fear in her face.
Willow reaches out a hand to reassure Faith, and is startled. My goddess, she's shaking! Instinctively, she puts her arms around Faith, to soothe her. Faith can't help it. The fear of screwing up, all her fears surface, and she's out of control of her body. She starts to shake.
Willow takes Faith in her arms, and holds her, trying to calm her down.
"Shhh... shhh... it's going to be ok. It's going to be ok" She says reassuringly. She holds Faith tightly
Neither she nor Faith sees a very quiet, very angry looking Kennedy watching them from above.
To be continued.
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Independence

Independence

Independence - Part 3