Souls Standing By. | By : JanetNoga Category: AtS AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3824 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: To say I
don’t like Buffy is a mild way of saying how much I hate the bitch, so expect
no nice slayer in chapters to come. AU with lack of potential slayers
overrunning the hell mouth. Also, for warnings and disclaimers see chapter one.
The light outside was setting, its fading rays peeking through the hair think cracks of heavy material curtains and falling non threatening onto the floor. Spike felt the setting sun like a natural alarm clock creep over him. Grumbling half awake, he rolled over and back into dreams that bothered him.
Sad, wounded darkamber eyes haunted Spike’s dreams. He wanted to blame it on hanging around the white hats for feeling bad about fucking the ex-demon bint, but Spike knew he
had to accept the fact that it was solo on his own part. Okay, maybe, just
maybe being around Dawn did have something to do with it.
But if the blond
vampire regretted one thing in all his years, it was hurting Xander Harris like
he had five years ago. Like Dawn, he missed the whelp. Something about his
missing sense of humor that Spike enjoyed, the way he had smiled, a real one
and not those fake ones he plastered on for the others, even his scent, now
gone left a black void in the little group that made itself known in those
moments of peace in between patrols and occasionally saving the world. Being
forced into the role as the boy’s un-welcomed roommate, Spike had gotten to
know Xander a little bit better, saw what the others missed, and even Xander
himself didn’t seen to dislike Spike as much as he used to. Guess being forced
to spend time together did that to a bloke.
He wondered what
the hell had possessed him to shag Anya just because she was hurting when
Xander had left her at the alter? It wouldn’t have solved anything in the long
run. Willow, Tara, and Dawn had been pissed at him for a month, but slowly
forgave him when he showed signs of remorse, even admitting it much to the
slayer’s mockery. Had he really wanted to be used like that again after Buffy?
Why him and not some random blokes on the street? Was it because he and
Xander were starting to become friends even though Spike was a vampire, but
Xander was getting an idea that all vampires weren’t so bad, and she had wanted
to hurt the boy by sleeping with a would-be friend? Possibly.
God, she really
had the nerve to come back to him for another roll in the sack, even after
Xander’s disappearance. She really only cared about herself. And the slayer?
She couldn’t see anything more, but her own self-pity, not caring about her
friend’s grief and worry for their missing friend. And she expected Spike to
touch her? He didn’t bloody think so. Anya finally left when she came after him
again for the attention and orgasms she thought she deserved with Xander not
coming back to be forgiving and provide for her before she was ready to forgive
him. Willow had told her to ghe fhe fuck out of Sunnydale and stop ruining what
was left of the friendship in the group.
The sound of
someone approaching his flat woke Spike from his limbering sleep and random
thoughts about the past. From the softer footsteps and easy heartbeat, it
sounded like Dawn. He debated on whether to pretend his wasn’t home or not
before the blond vamp decided what the hell and opened the door before she
could knock.
“ Have I told you
how cool it is that you can do that? “ She smiled, knowing of the grace and speed he held, even half asleep.
Spike couldn’t
help, but smile back at the only Summers’ woman he loved as her smile was
infectious and he went out his way to protect, just her and Tara because Red
could take care of herself being a very powerful witch and to hell with the
slayer. They would make great childer, both Dawn and Tara, he thought time to time when he was in a particular mood. Both beautiful in their own rights, loyal, and sweet, but Tara could release a cold malice that gave Spike such a thrill, and Dawn with her playful mean streak and
stead fast vengeful.
“ Something you
want, luv? “ He asked, moving aside so she could enter and closed the door
afterwards.
“ I’m on my
summer vacation and I wanted to spend the first night off with my favorite
vampire, “ she replied.
“ Slayer will
love that, “ Spike said with a rolling of his eyes.
“ I know, “ Dawn
replied with a wicked grin, “ But the hell with what she wants. I’m old enough
to do what I want, well within the laws of man, and what I want is to spend
time with you, Spike. “
“ Besides, if
I’ve been listening right to all the local demon gossip, this is your town,
you’re the Master Vampire here, and if you’d like to accompany me to the Bronze
then that’s all that matters, innit? “ She added.
“ Just might turn
you into my childer with all that sweet talk, pet, “ Spike said, as a means to compliment her, abut also to get a rise out of her because even thought they were friends and given a fact that no matter how much any of the white hats liked, loved him, becoming his childer was a huge no-no.
text-autospace:nonspanspan style='font-family:"Book Antiqua"'>“ Really? “ She
asked, tilting her head.
“ Yeah, pet. Got
a real wonderful mean streak and vengeance kick in ya. Like the time of day
you’re named after, a beautiful blend of light & darkness that any vampire
family would be proud to have, “ Spike went on, seeing no harm. She’d take it
as his way, a vampire’s way, of complimenting and nothing more even though he
meant it.
“ I would be
honored, Spike,” Dawn replied. He whirled around, leather duster in hand, and
stared at her.
“ Don’t tease us
‘bout these things, pet. I know you humans don’t understand vampire lore, but-
“
“ No, Spike, I
do. I understand and know what you were & have done, what you are, and that
as a human and sister of a slayer that I shouldn’t think such things because
I’m suppose to follow this unwritten golden rule that no matter how many times
a vampire saves the world or human lives they’re evil and not to be trusted.
That the world is black and white. Guess what, I know it’s not, no one can tell
me it isn’t, and I say it’s an honor that you would concern me someone worthy
of being apart of your blood line, “ Dawn said without falter in her voice.
Her words held
such truth and passion, one look in her eyes confirmed that this young woman
before him wasn’t lying. She wasn’t worried about the demon she could become at
his fang, that if he turned her out of dire circumstances or need, she wouldn’t
regret or hate him. In all his years, he had never met a human more welcoming
or understanding of his nature.
“ Dawn…” And
Spike held her close, a little overcome by all of this. For the first time in
such a long time, he felt wanted and welcomed by another. He felt her warm arms
wrap around him tight and he tucked his face in her neck. There was no
quickening of her heart or scent of fear.
“ Mine, Dawnie,
you’re mine. One day I am going to leave here and take you with me, whether
you’re my childer or not, “ he promised her. Take her to see the world and
maybe find that other someone he needed to make himself feel whole inside.
“ I know, Spike,
I know, “ she whispered.
Spike mused that
he could have done different things the moment Buffy had his chip removed
because in the end, they had needed him to be able to fight humans in the
coming of the First, and he had been surprised that she had taken that risk.
Maybe she thought his acclaimed love for her would be enough to keep him on a
lease. Oh, yes, so many different things. Like making good on his promise and
slaughtering them all, baptizing himself anew in their screams of fear and
blood. Or leave the hell mouth and reestablish himself as a Master Vampire, the
Scourge of Europe he had once been with two new childer at his side, forcing
Buffy to face the First alone and low in numbers. But that would have been
stupid at the time since there would have been no world for the Master Vampire
plus two new childer to explore.
But the hell
mouth was now sealed and the First defeated so there was nothing to really keep
him back. Spike knew he would leave this town one day, but he wanted it to be
when Dawn was ready, just a bit more grown up and ready to embrace the un-life
he wanted to give her.
He had once
thought the slayer was the center of his world. What a fool he had been, she
was nothing, but a reminder of another girl, one of high London society who had
been out of his meager, poor poet reach. Maybe he had wanted her because of
Angel, that he wanted to prove something to his grandsire, but what is was,
Spike couldn’t remember anymore. But he no longer wanted a woman who was just a
figment of passed heartbreak or a slayer who used everyone around her, even her
friends, to make her life a little more bearable each day because apparently
being a slayer gave you that excuse.
Spike pulled
back. “ Well, enough of this sap. Let’s go out and start spoiling you like a
proper childe, “ he smirked.
“ Awesome, “ Dawn
smiled.
*
- * - *
The Bronze, like
a few members of Sunnydale, was one of the few survivors on the hell mouth of
every evil thing that had swept through the town. The place was packed and with
a little flash of his game face to discourage some fledglings of entering the
establishment Spike and Dawn drifted in on a mission to enjoy themselves. A new
live band was playing and their music was just the kind Spike enjoyed kicking
back to. He ordered an imported beer and sat where he could scout over Dawn
should she need his help right away.
The Key was
having a blast, with some of her school friends for company besides the
gorgeous blond she had arrived with, couldn’t help, but gossip about her drop
dead handsome escort, great music, and no overbearing sister chaperon breathing
down her neck to ruin things either! Dawn weaved in and out of between dancing
partners, using her newly acquired gift to tell her when she needed to move on
before her partner got ahead of himself. She was dancing with Tammie, taking a
break from male wandering hands when Dawn felt someone step up behind her.
“ May I cut in? “
The newcomer asked Tammie, pulling Dawn against him.
‘ Must be pretty
hot by the way Tam’s drooling, ‘ Dawn thought. She checked her mystery partner
over with her gift enough to know that he was gonna keep his hands to himself
and titled her head back a little to address her new dancing partner.
“ Sure, handsome,
“ she smiled, only really seeing a chin and that he had dark hair. Dawn rested
against his muscular chest, felt his hand on her hip, & the two began to
sway to the slow, softer beat that the band was playing. Her partner rested his
chin on her head and Dawn couldn’t help, but feel like he was familiar.
Turning around in
his warm arms, she got the shock of her life.
“ X-Xander? “ She
squeaked.
“ Hey, Dawnie,
how’s my girl? “ He smiled. A smile she hadn’t seen in so long.
Dawn looked up
into the eyes of her long absent friend and was over come by the past emotions
buried deep inside his soul she had never been able to pick up on all the
postcards he sent her twice a week. She saw through his eyes and felt his
emotions like they had been her own of why her friend had tried to kill himself
and reason behind the mad act. Spike. Anya. Anya and Spike. Oh, dear god, such
pain &and such sweet love, oh, Spike, you never knew, he could never tell
you, never told me, Willow, any of us…
She welcomed the
darkness that came to sweep her away into its caring wings as the burst of
unguarded emotions became too much.
“ Dawnie! “
Xander caught the young woman as her knees buckled and she fell into his arms.
He held her close and the once dancing crowd of humans and demons playing nice
backed off to give the fallen Key air.
“ Wot happened? “
Spike growled. He had seen a dark haired male approach his girl and started to
dance with her. Boy kept his hands to himself, good, saved Spike the trouble of
draining him if he tried something, and had seen Dawn turn around, stare with a
look of surprise on her face before passing out. Dawn being unconscious meant
that something was trying to or was hurting her and no one hurt his would be
human childe. Luckily she turned out to be in the protective arms of a long
absent friend, Xander.
The blond vampire
was unprepared for the flood of emotions he felt that came with a look from
those dark amble eyes and couldn’t understand why he suddenly wanted to give
Xander a hug, to see that it was real, him being in Sunnydale again. So many
ways to start apologizing rose on the tip of his tongue, but Xander had turned
away to check on Dawn.
Wesley was
quickly besides the dark haired two having seen Dawn pass out, checking her
pulse, also making sure his companion was alright. The relief in his eyes as he relaxd when Wesley informed him it was just a simple fainting spell, he relaxed and the ease about him after hearing it so. Yes, Wesley thought to himself, Xander was going to be alright. Xander studied her for a moment, sharply inhaled, and looked up at Spike with narrowed eyes.
“ Who forced her
to become an empathy? “ Xander growled.
“ The slayer, “
Spike replied, feeling a delicious shiver at the whelp’s growl. Not now, Dawn
was hurt and the boy would never ever touch a vampire; much less one who had
slept with his ex- fiancé.
“ Good ol’ slayer
thought it would be a sure way that Dawn could protect herself if she could
tell before hand if someone or something was out after her divine blood, “ he
continued.
“ And she didn’t
even bother to think of how else it could effect her sister? That Dawn would be
bombarded with other people’s thoughts and emotions that didn’t know how to
guard them or she had her guard up? “ Xander growled.
“ Slayer’s not
big on what other people want now a days, “ Spike replied, “ which is why when
she’s old enough, I’m getting her out of here. “
“ Funny, I
actually believe that you have her best intentions in mind, “ Xander remarked
softly, stroking Dawn’s face gently in a way Spike had actually missed. Missed
the way Xander was around his girls. “ Dawn, sweetie, wake up, its okay now, no
more bad emotions. “
“ Xander… “ Dawn
groaned and slowly opened her dark brown eyes. Her vision settled on him and
she burst into huge tears. “ Xander! How come you never told me? How- “
“ Dawnie, at the
time had you ever known me to open myself like that? I couldn’t even tell
Willow, I kept it from her. Only you and Wesley know, “ he said.
“ Know what? “
Spike as
“ You don’t
really need to know, Spike, “ Wesley said in defense for his brother in arms.
“ No, it’s okay,
Wes, I’m fine. That’s water under the bridge now, “ Xander said. “ Okay, bad
choice of words with the look you’re giving me, Wes, “ he added.
“ Yes, that’s why
you’ve been having those dreams again. It would be best we move this party else
where and get on with our mission so I can get you the hell out of here before
you have to go through more emotional trauma, “ Wesley hissed.
“ Would it help
you from tryin’ to drill holes in me head if I said I was sorry? “ Spike said.
At Wesley’s glare, he guessed not.
“ Ignore him,
he’s just a little over protective, “ Xander grinned at Dawn.
“ Yes, I can
understand why, “ she said.
“ Sounded right
like my poof of a grandsire, Wesley, jumping in defense of others, “ Spike remarked to the man as Xander helped Dawn to her feet. He got the feeling he had hit a nerve within the
former watcher by the way Wesley tensed at the mention of Angel. Oh, yeah, he recalled a bit of a conversation a while ago he had, ahem, overheard Willow having with Cordy over the phone that Wesley wasn't with them anymore in L.A. when the witch had actually asked about him.
“ Spike, do
yourself a favor and don’t speak of Angel around him. Bad falling out between
them, “ Xander whispered to the vamp.
“ Yeah, Peaches
has a way of doing that, “ Spike said, taking time to gaze at the boy’s soft
looking lips, how nicely full the bottom practically was.Oh, hell, the whelp had always had nice full lips, the bottom just made for nibbling, so why the sudden notice now?
‘ Trust me,
Spike, you have no idea, ‘ Xander thought, not paying attention to Spike’s
sudden interested gaze.
They had decided
it would be best to take Dawn home. The young woman pouted and protested of
course, but not as much as she might have a couple of years ago. Xander was
worried about how she was going to handle the truth of why he had left, how he
still felt about the vampire Master who now protected her with a fierce sire
force, and how he felt he could never tell her, the shame he had felt. Spike
was worried too, even Wesley to a degree, but that was only because she sensed
underneath his cool exterior laid a man who cared deeply about others. Oddly
enough Dawn felt like she was a princess or sacred maiden being guarded by
three knights like in the fairy tales, the real ones handed down by
storytellers by word of mouth & not those perverse Grime versions.
When the four
entered the Summers’ home the first thing Xander did when he saw Buffy standing
by Angel and talking in the kitchen, ‘must protect Wesley’ filed way for later,
was pounce on the woman and started yelling.
“ God how could
you, Buffy? How could you force Dawnie into becoming an empathy? If I had
known, I would have had time to barricade my emotions from her, not allow her
to see to much too soon and give the poor thing a fainting spell! When are you
going to start thinking about yourself? What’s the matter, didn’t want to put
in the extra effort in protecting your sister? “ Xander yelled.
“ Wha? X-Xander?
“ Buffy gasped. She quickly got over her shock of seeing her long absent
errand- err, friend and started shouting back. “ Me? What about you? Five
years, Xander, five years! And not a word of where you were or what had
happened to you! You weren’t around to see the hell it put Willow through. For
three straight weeks she was sure you were dead or wounded somewhere getting
tortured! It was another two weeks afterwards that Tara was finally able to
convince her you were all right, that you had left because of Anya, before she
could be of any use again! I think you had better take a good look at yourself
before you start accusing others! I never knew anything and it hurt that I
didn’t have anything to comfort Willow with. “
“ And did you
think about Dawn? She hasn’t had a contact with you for five years! “ She
added.
“ No, no, that’s
a lie, I got regular postcards from Xander twice a week actually, “ Dawn
admitted. It was true. She had saved everyone and kept safe inside a trunk in
her room.
“ And I started
to write to Willow and Tara after those first three weeks. Some contacts of
ours assured me she still cared once word got to me that a powerful red headed
witch living on the hell mouth was searching for me. Of course my boss’
couldn’t let anyone in my past find me just yet- “ Xander said.
“ But I never got
any postcards, “ Buffy argued.
“ Buffy, I
learned very quickly just who my real friends were, “ Xander replied in a cool
voice.
“ What happened
to Dawn? “ Willow asked, stepping into the kitchen and stopped dead in her
tracks when she saw… Was that-that Xander?
Xander turned to
his oldest friend and gazed at her. She had grown into a stunning woman and he
thanked every deity listening that Tara hadn’t been killed by the First. His
friend would have been very lost without her and him gone… but he wondered if
his presence at her side would have been enough?
“ I like your
hair, “ he smiled and laughed when she touched it automatically.
“ What did Dawn
see? “ Willow insisted, but she had a gut feeling she knew, and maybe after
five years she would understand why he left and never told her in any of his
postcards he had sent.
Xander crossed
over and took her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles. “ I
hadn’t known Dawn had been made to become a empathy as well as the Key and she
finally learned my dark little secret, Wills. Five years ago I tried to kill
myself, “ he whispered.
“ Hush, baby, he
couldn’t tell you. He was still in a lot of hurt at the time and didn’t want to
hurt you, Wills, “ Tara whispered to her lover, suddenly there and hugging the
girl from behind.
“ You knew? “
Xander asked surprised.
Tara nodded. “
When you sent the first postcard I felt it because of my powers to read auras.
I cried all night and I couldn’t tell Willow why. I couldn’t betray your right
to finally explain to her why you suddenly left. “
“ I thought it
was because you hated me or what Anya and Spike had done, “ Willow said, her
reply muffled against his chest. She looked up at him, “ I know we had started
to drift apart at that time after we found out about Buffy and Spike, how you and
Anya broke up. I thought you didn’t t met me anymore. “
“ I had thought
you were starting to forget about me, but after I left with Wesley to make a
life for myself outside the hell mouth, I realized it was just as much as my
fault that we didn’t talk as much as we used to, but I couldn’t go back. So I
sent postcards instead, hopping it would help, “ he said.
“ Picture
postcards from L.A. Sighed with love forever more. Picture postcards from L.A.
to hang on my refrigerator door… “ Willow sang.
“ Watch it,
Wills, or you’ll owe royalties, “ Xander smiled.
She tucked her
head under his chin. “ I’ve missed that smile, “ she murmured, soaking up the
warmth surrounding her from Tara and Xander.
Buffy suddenly
never felt so alone. She turned to Angel, but the vampire was missing from the
kitchen.
“ Angel, I trust
you and the others are doing well? “ Wesley finally asked instead.
“ Uh…” Angel
licked his lips, “ Yeah, Cordy, Gunn, and Lorne, we’re all good, “ he replied.
“ Fred? “
“ She and Gunn
broke up and she left. Doesn’t keep in touch much now, but that’s to be
expected. Cordy and Gunn are going out now. How have you been? “Angel asked.
“ Cordelia Chase and
Charles Gunn. Why does that sound sgelygely satisfying that they should hook
up? “ Wesley remarked about the two with a small pleased grin, but ignored
Angel’s question regarding himself.
“ Only because
they’re both stubborn as hell, “ Spike remarked, remembering the few times he
had seen the two together in his trips to L.A.
“ Wesley, why are
you here? Did Xander want to see his friends again? “ Angel asked, anything to
keep the man talking to him.
“ No, this was
simply an added bonus and it’s good the boy should make peace with them, even
if he hurts a few in the process, “ Wesley said, sparing a look at the slayer
in the kitchen with a blank look on her face, “ Xander and I are here because a
tribe of demons are going to try and open the hell mouth. “
“ Not bloody
likely. We sealed it up, but good last time, “ Spike growled.
“ Yes, well,
they’re going to certainly give it a try. There will be a thousand, maybe more,
of them, and that’s the reason why the Powers that Be sent us this way again, “
Wesley replied.
“ Bloody hell, it
never ends, “ Spike groaned.
“ No, Spike, it’s
just outside demons with obscured illusions of power they think they can gain
by opening the hell mouth, “ Wesley replied. He stood up and brushed past Angel
when Xander joined them in the living room with Tara and Willow tucked under
each arm, his joke about his fantasy of being between two beautiful women finally coming true gave Willow a laugh and made Tara blush even as the slayer trailed silently behind them. He sensed some weight had been lifted from the younger man’s
shoulders.
“ Are you
alright? “ Wesley asked quietly.
Xander’s eyes
darted quickly over to Spike and back to the concern watch of his partner and
friend. He let out a small sigh, removing his arms from around the two women. “
Yeah, more or less. Are you going to be al right with Deadboy around?“ He asked
in a hushed voice.
“ I’ve had five
years to deal and face the possibility of seeing him again, “ Wesley whispered
back. ‘ But I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving him. ‘
But Xander wasn’t
fooled by the cool front Wesley was putting forth. Those winter blue eyes
couldn’t hide all the lingering pain and perhaps love him still had for the
vampire behind them. He reached out and brought their foreheads together. “
Man, have we got Jerry Springer material right here and ready for airing. “
Wesley’s mouth
quirked up into a grin.
Angel barely held
back the jealous growl at the closs bes between the two. How dare Xander put his hands on Wes! He wasn't allowed to touch him! Oh, really, a voice spoke to him, taunting him, aren't you forgetting those two have spend the last five years with each other? Both have obviously been hurt in the past, what's to say these brothers in arms haven't found comfort in each other arms, not only as friends, but as lovers as well? Angel swallowed hard. He didn't want to think that Xander and Wesley were involved together, it would only certainly mean that his chance with the winter blue eyed man was gone.
Spike raised an eyebrow at his grandsire's behavior, caught the flash of jealousy then worry and sadness darting across his face before Angel became closed off again and knew that he had been right all along about his sire and the former watcher. The unanswered questions that had been nagging him as to why the members of the L.A. team had never mentioned Wesley’s name and why his grandsire had a longing, wounded look in his eyes. A look he hadn’t had from his breakup with the slayer. Was Angel been in love with the former watcher all this time?
‘ I must get the
difficulty with lovers from him, ‘ Spike thought as he ran a short mental list
of all the ones he’d been involved with. Dru and Angelus, then just Dru,
Harmony, Buffy, Anya… Not a happy list; expect maybe with Dru and Angelus. Glad
he never touched that Darla bitch.
“ Well, since
we’ll be here a while I’d like to go say hi to G-man since Wills told me he’s
back from across the pond. After that Wes and I will join you for a patrol, and
maybe find something on these demon’s we’re looking for. We already know what
they are, just not where they are, “ Xander spoke up.
“ We don’t need
your help, “ Buffy snapped, not believing how Xander, her friend was treating
her, and she didn’t want to be around him. Nor did she think he’d deserved it.
“ Buffy, shut up,
“ Tara said to the slayer. “ Xander, I think Giles would be happy to see you,
understand why you left, and that you’re okay. “
“ Yeah, “ the
young man nodded.
Both Xander and Angel waited with baited breath as to if Wesley would agree when he finally looked into those pleading whiskey eyes for what seemed like the longest time. Maybe it was time for things in his own past to be led to rest and he was just tired of it all. He truly regretted having helped Angel loose his son and lose the
trust between them, but was reluctant in picking up where he had left off in L.
A. before the whole Darla and Conner incident. Too much pain perhaps.
“ That’ll be
fine, “ Wesley said. He looked away from the smile on Angel’s face.
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