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To Live Again	By : moosesal Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 2327 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own AtS or BtVS. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Chapter 3 - Common Ground

Will arrived at the pub early. He wanted to get a few drinks down before opening up to an ex-Watcher. He couldn't believe it when Angel had suggested that a Watcher might be able to help a vamp deal with his nightmares of killing people. Especially since he'd killed two Slayers and almost raped a third one. Giles probably would have staked him onsite after what Will had done to Buffy.

Then when Angel said Will would be working with _Wesley_ -- the man who'd betrayed Angel and given Connor to the enemy -- Will was even more confused. But Angel chose Wesley because despite everything that had happened, he knew in his heart that Wesley was the one person who could help his childe. Will would just have to deal with his conflicting emotions. He needed help. If Wesley was the answer, he'd suck it up and play nice.

Will took a swig of beer and lit a cigarette. He started to relax and took a look around the pub. Angel had picked an interesting place to have the two men meet in. It was an English-style pub, Will figured Angel must have thought this place would be familiar for both Will _and_ Wesley. There were demons and humans mixing together peaceably. And they were all studying the crowd for a few minutes, Will laughed. This wasn't just an English-style pub for humans and demons, but an English-style pub for gay humans and demons. *Wonder what the Watcher will think of this place.*

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Will looked over and saw an attractive vamp sit down next to him. He grinned at the man, realizing that he had no idea about Will's chip or soul. This was just another vamp who couldn't resist the beauty and power that radiated from him -- even depressed, he was still irresistible. "Thanks, but I'll have to pass. I'm ... meeting someone," Will stated with a smile. *Meeting someone. Yeah right, mate, who are you trying to fool? Him or yourself? You're meeting a bloody ex-Watcher. How fucked up is that?*

"Perhaps some other time," the vamp said as he moved away. *Yeah. Perhaps. I'll have to remember to come back to this place if Angel ever kicks me out and I'm desperate to get laid.* There were gorgeous vamps and humans all around him. As he really started to study them, he couldn't help but begin to notice the thrumming heartbeats of the humans and the scent of arousal -- human and demon -- in the air. Before he knew it images were flashing before his eyes.

He saw his victims lying dead in London alleyways. His old "friends" with railroad spikes through their skulls. Women and men crying out in a combination of pain and pleasure as he drained them at the moment of climax bringing them both over the edge. Hunting with Angelus, Dru, and Darla.

Spike began to panic. As he tried to calm himself by focusing on his love for Buffy, all he could see was himself attacking her. He was rising off his stool to leave when Wesley sat down next to him.

"Sorry I'm late, I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long." Will turned to face him and Wesley took a sharp breath. "Dear God, is everything all right?"

Will took a deep breath and shook his head. He reached for Wesley's hand and looked in the Watcher's eyes. Focusing on Wesley's eyes and feeling his warmth, Will pulled himself together and began to relax.

"I'm okay," Will finally managed. "Just had a slew of visions and I couldn't get them under control."

"What made them stop?" Wesley asked.

"You. Your warmth and your eyes. Your presence somehow calmed me." Will replied honestly. "I'm Will -- formerly known as Spike or William the Bloody -- but you already know that, don't you? I'm assuming your Wesley. If not, I've just made an ass out of myself. Not that it would be the first time, but..." Will trailed off.

"Yes ... well ... yes, I'm Wesley. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. But please, call me Wesley or ... Wes." He was surprised at how relaxed and at ease he felt sitting next to the Master vampire. He found himself staring at the man. He'd seen pictures, drawings of Angel's, but he didn't remember them showing such beauty. Wesley was mesmerized by Will presence. That and the fact that he was still holding his hand. When he realized that, he pulled away. Embarrassed by what, he wasn't sure.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Wesley was pulled out of his thoughts by the bartender standing in front of him.

"Ah ... yes. Whisky, please. Rocks." Wesley looked over at Will and realized he'd need more than that. "And a beer -- black and tan."

The bartender nodded then looked at Will. "Ready for another?"

"Yeah. Just give me what he's having." He turned and smiled at Wesley. "So ... Wes. Can you help me with my nightmares? As you saw when you arrived, I don't just have them while I'm sleeping. I ... I don't know what to do. Angel told me to focus on something that makes me happy. I was trying to picture Buffy--"

"The Slayer?" Wes interrupted him.

"Yeah. I'm in love with her. Or I was. I don't know anymore."

Wesley could see the truth in his eyes. *A vampire in love with a Slayer, before having a soul.* "I see. Continue please. What happened when you tried to focus on her?"

"Well, all I could see was me hurting her. I ... I almost raped her." Will barely got the last words out and they were spoken so softly Wesley almost didn't hear them.

"It's okay, Will. You can tell me anything. I've done some awful things myself, I'm not going to judge you. I hope to be able to help you. Lorne gave me an idea of how bad things are. He told me he can see your visions just by being near you. I know you've spent a lot of time with Buffy. Did you ever watch her meditate, or work with crystals?"

Will shook his head. "She always did that in private or with Giles. And ... he didn't allow interruptions."

"Well, I'm going to teach you some techniques similar to those the Slayer uses to get in touch with her essence, her power. I'm hoping you can use them to reach your true self, inside and find peace and strength. I'm also going to help you ... compartmentalize your mind. So you can take these memories and tuck them away in a sort of 'lockbox' in your mind and not have to face them unless you choose to."

"You can't just get rid of them? Hypnotize me and strip them all away?" Will grinned. Wes knew he was being sarcastic but was also curious to know if Wes could take away his bad memories.

"That would be far too dangerous. We might take away more than you could function without. All of your experiences are tied together, you've been around for over 100 years, we can't just take away huge chunks of that. You wouldn't be you anymore. Surely there are some good things in there that you want to hold on to?" Wesley asked.

Will remembered lazy days in bed with Angelus and Dru. Seeing the Sex ols ols live. Meeting Buffy for the first time. "Yeah, I see your point. So, we tuck the bad stuff away where I can get it if I need it but don't have to see it all the time, huh?"

"Exactly. You'll need to find a new focus for your meditation. Something less ... complicated by emotions than Buffy. I suggest working with crystals for your intensive meditations, but you'll need something -- a person or a place usually works best -- that you can easily picture in your mind for emergency use -- such as before I got here tonight. Choose something that will come to mind easily."

Will just stared at Wes as he spoke. He didn't realize how much he had enjoyed having another Englishman to talk to when Giles had been around. Wesley's voice was soothing, comforting, it reminded him of home. And his eyes were warm and kind. He couldn't imagine how this man ever could have betrayed Angel. Of course, he knew from the story that Wes thought he was doing the right thing. Will could tell he was a good man. And since he had no history with him to haunt his dreams, Will decided right then and there that Wes would be his focus. He needed no more time to consider it. The choice was clear.

"I've got it," Will said with a shy smile.

"Oh? Already?" asked Wes. Will nodded. "Would you like to tell me? You don't have to, of course?" Wes was dying to know what the vampire had selected, but wouldn't force him. He needed to earn Will's trust in order to truly be able to help him.

Will hesitated. He knew that despite everything Wes had done regarding Connor and Angel, he was a good man and could be trusted. "You." stated Will, matter-of-factly.

Wes felt his heart stop beating for a moment. "Me? Are you ... are you certain? I'm sure Angel -- or if not him, then certainly Cordelia -- told you about everything I did to him. How can you trust me when I betrayed your sire?" Wesley's question was sincere. He couldn't understand how Will could have chosen him for his object of focus.

"Well," Will began, "First of all, I can see in your eyes that you won't hurt me. Second, I know that you had the best of intentions when you took Connor. You thought you were saving his life, right?" Will paused and looked at Wes who nodded. "Plus, you did it to protect Angel. You love him. Probably as much as I do." Wes just stared at him in shock. "Third, if you hurt me it will ruin any chance of reconciling with Angel and the rest of the gang. And finally, ... because we have no past. You weren't in my life before the soul. When I look at you there are no memories of my life before. There's no pain associated with you."

Wesley was stunned by Will's words. He knew from the Watcher's Diaries that Will had been a poet before being turned, but everything indicated that he was horrible. Wes hadn't expected him to express himself so eloquently and intelligently. His thoughts were well formed and spoken in a voice that had shifted from guttersnipe to that of a refined English gentleman. *I wonder what the extent of his education was. It sounds like I'm not the only one in the room who hasn't completely escaped his upbringing.*

"Well ... thank you," was all Wes could manage to say. He took a few sips of his whisky and looked around the bar.

Will noticed the Watcher's face redden and his pulse quicken as he took in his surroundings. He saw realization on Wesley's face. "Is this ..."

"A gay, human/demon English-style pub nestled discreetly in downtown Los Angeles?" Will supplied with a smirk, saving Wes from having to put his thoughts into words.

Wes just stared at him -- eyes wide in wonder.

"Yes. Yes it is." Will smiled widely at Wesley's speechlessness. "Is that a problem, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce?" The 'Spike' in Will was coming out to play. "We could go somewhere else if you want. For some reason Angel thought we'd both be comfy here. Me? I'm a vampire, this is tame for my tastes." Will grinned and winked as Wesley continued staring at him. "But I guess it could be a bit much for a straight human, huh?"

Wes blinked. "Huh? I'm sorry, what?" *Is he suggesting we go somewhere else?*

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Will asked.

"Ah ... no, I'm fine. I just didn't expect to find a place like this in L.A. It's been years since I've been to some of the um ... more interesting pubs in London."

Will realized that Wes hadn't been freaked out by the customers, but was simply surprised to find something familiar from home, right here in L.A. "So," Will began, "do you miss home, then?" Wes knew from Will's expression what the underlying question was: Do you miss the all-male, demon pubs?

"Umm ... well, yes, I guess I do. A good cup of tea isn't the only things that's hard to find here in L.A.," he replied with a twinkle in his eye. "However, I would like to leave. We can come back some other time when we can ... enjoy ourselves more ... fully. But this isn't really the right atmosphere for your training, you need to be able to relax and focus your mind."

"Plenty of things here to focus my mind on," Will said. *If I'd've known Peaches was gonna send me off to someone so yummy I woulda gotten myself a soul a few years ago.* "But, alright. Let's go. You're place?" Will asked.

"Umm ... yes." Wes put some money on the bar to pay for the drinks and led the way out the door. "I rode my bike here, did you drive?"

"No, I walked over. Needed to let off some steam, so I traipsed through the sewers and dusted a few vamps on my way."

"Well, we can both ride on the bike if you want. Or you could follow me in a cab if you prefer." Wes hoped that Will would ride with him, but didn't want to seem pushy.

"I'd love to ride you ... er, ride _with_ you." Will couldn't believe the slip up. Evidently, Spike was still a part of him. In the past, he would have said something like that on purpose, but not now. He hadn't felt comfortable enough to be his usual lewd and sarcastic self. What was it about Wesley that was bringing all of this out of him?

"Here." Wes handed him a helmet and Will bed bed on the bike behind the warm, inviting human. As soon as Wes started the bike and pulled away from the curb, Will wrapped his arms around Wesley's waist and pressed himself tightly against the man's body. It reminded him of holding his victims just before feeding, but blood wasn't what he was interested in sucking at the moment.

~*~

Meanwhile, back at the Hyperion ...

"Do you think they'll be able to stand each other?" Cordy asked. "I mean, after all, Wesley is a gentleman and Spike ... sorry, Will ... is, well ... not a gentleman. I mean let's face it, he's crude, rude, and all around obnoxious. What were you thinking?"

Angel glared at her when she called his childe Spike. *Where does she get off judging Will like that? Just because he tried to kill all of the Scoobies in the past didn't mean she knows him. Okay, maybe she knew who he _had_ been. But she doesn't really _know_ him.* Angel knew that Darla, Dru, and especially Angelus had a lot to do with what kind of vampire 'Spike' had become.

"Cordy, they'll both be fine. Will was ... well, he was a 'proper English gentleman' before he was turned. It's not like he doesn't know how to behave, he's just a little ... out of practice. I have a feeling the two of them will get along great."
Little did he know just how well ...

~*~

Wes pulled up in front of his building and parked his bike. Will reluctantly peeled himself off Wesley's back and slid off the bike. Both men immediately felt the absence of the other's touch.

"So, here we are. Home sweet home." Wes walked into the building with Will by his side. They went up to his flat and Wes opened the door.

He stepped inside and started towards the kitchen before he realized that Will was still standing in the hall staring at him. *Of course, he needs an invitation.* "Please, Will, do come in. I'm sorry about that. I forgot for a moment that you've never been here. But, of course you haven't since we just met. And I'm going to shut up now."

Will just smiled at Wesley's babbling as he closed the door behind him and moved to follow Wes into the kitchen.

"Can I offer you something to drink before we get started? Tea? Water? Blood?" Will's eyebrow went up at the last offer. "The exercise will take a lot out of you emotionally, I thought you might need a little blood afterwards so I stopped by the butcher shop today," Wesley explained.

"So you were planning on bringing me back here all along, huh?" Will asked with a big grin. _Spike's_ playfulness was coming out again.

"W-well, y-y-yes," Wesley stammered. He was suddenly very embarrassed for assuming Will would just come home with him. His intentions had been purely honorable, but must the vampire think of him? "I had hoped we would." He paused and stared into Will's eyes and quickly mumbled, "To begin you're training, of course."

"Of course." Will was looking at Wes and wondering if he and Angel had ever been lovers. He smiled at the image of the two of them together and then forced himself to focus on the real reason for his presence in the man's home. "So, shall we begin then?"

"Yes," Wes answered. Relief spread through his body and he began to relax again. "If you'll help me move a few things, we'll have space for our circle here in the living room."

"Circle? No magick." Will stated firmly.

"No magick?" Wes was confused. *He must be afraid of magick. Wouldn't be the first person I've met.* "No, no magick. The circle is to protect you from outside distractions and to help hold in the healing energy we're going to raise to help you relax." Wes saw Will begin to relax again. "As I mentioned at the bar, there's no quick magickal fix for this. All the change will come from within you, no outside intervention. I'm only here to help guide you. Eventually, we'll do some work with crystals, but today it will just be the two of us. No objects, no spells, just a little guided meditation. Okay?"

Will nodded, but had seemed to retreat into himself. The joking, smiling Will from a few minutes ago was gone. The sad, scared man he'd first encountered at the bar was back. Wes could see that he was nervous.

"Help me move the table?" Wes asked in a gentle and encouraging voice. Will nodded and moved to the table; he and Wes moved it out of the way and then shifted the sofa to create a open space in the living room.

"Okay, have a seat there on the floor and take a few deep breaths to relax."

"Vamps don't have to breath, ya know." Will stated.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But it's a good technique to focus your mind and relax your body. So do it. No arguing." Wes smiled at him. "I'm going to burn some incense that will help you focus during the exercise and cast the circle." While Will sat on the floor and began to take slow deep inhalations, Wes lit some incense that smelled like earth.

Wes then moved into the middle of the room, closed his eyes, and began taking deep breaths. He relaxed his mind and felt energy flowing up through his body. He opened his eyes and extended his right arm as he began to walk clockwise around Will. Will watched him and could see the energy coming from Wesley's hand forming a circle around them. When the circle was complete, Wes spread the energy above and beneath them so that the circle became a protective sphere. Will noticed how calm it was inside the sphere. He could hear nothing from the outside world -- no noise from the street or other apartments -- things his vampire hearing would normally be able to detect. There was nothing in the sphere but himself, Wesley, and a feeling of peace.

"Are you ready?" Wes asked as he sat on the floor facing Will.

"Yeah, I guess so. It's so ... calm in here."

"That's the idea," Wes replied with a smile. "Now, close your eyes and relax. Since you've expressed your ... amusement at the idea of breathing, may I suggest focusing on my heartbeat instead. I trust I can keep it steady for you." Wes paused and watched Will. "Listen to the steady rhythm. Open your mind, concentrate on the sound of my heart." He could see that Will was relaxed and focused; to Wesley's surprise, Will was breathing. He was certain that Will didn't even realize he was doing it; the breaths were shallow, but they were in sync with Wesley's own breaths. Wes smiled and closed his eyes.

"Imagine yourself standing in a field." Will saw himself in a sunny field, with tall grass and purple and yellow wildflowers. "There is a light breeze blowing, you can feel it caressing your skin and ruffling your hair." Will watched the grass and flowers billow around him. The scene was beautiful and serene.

"Now, I want you to turn around. Behind you there is a large tree with a door in it." Will turned around to find himself standing before a huge oak tree with a blue door. "When you open the door you will find a staircase leading down deep into the earth. I want you to follow these steps. It will become very dark as you descend, but do not be afraid. Go ahead. Open the door and begin your descent."

Will opened the door and looked at the first step. He was hesitant to go forth into the darkness. *Do not be afraid, right.* Will stepped forward and slowly began to descend the stairs. The stairs spiraled down into the darkness, but he continued to follow them. It was so dark that even Will's vampire sight was of little use, but he instinctively knew where the next step would be and how the staircase turned.

"As you continue down the steps you'll begin to see light below you. It will get lighter until you reach the bottom where you'll be in a well lit chamber."

Will reached the last step and looked up at the glowing cavern before him. There were torches on the walls revealing the interior of the space.

"In the middle of the room there are two chairs. Have a seat and relax. You are safe here, Will. This room is guarded. No one can come in unless you want them here. Only you and one other -- your protector -- can come here without your invitation."

Will relaxed in one of the two large wingback chairs. They reminded him of the chairs in his mother's parlor. The fabric was heavy and rich in color. The cushions soft and inviting.

"Look at the seat across from you and meet your protector. It may look like someone you know, may be a stranger, or may even be a mass of energy or light. Male, female, both, or neither. Anything. Concentrate on your protector and feel its strength and power. Be comforted and calmed by this energy."

Will looked up to see his protector and found himself face-to-face with Wesley. A very relaxed, laid back Wesley. Gone was the tailored suit and tie he had worn to the bar. This Wesley was different. Will was certain not many people -- if any -- had ever seen this Wesley. There was both comfort as well as mischief in his eyes. They twinkled with a delight Will was sure they hadn't felt in a long time. He wore faded blue jeans and a dark green button-down shirt that was half open, revealing his smooth chest. The shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled to the middle of his forearms. He was barefoot, with his right leg hanging over the arm of the chair as he relaxed into the seat. His glasses were absent and his hair was ruffled. He looked extremely shaggable and the more Will looked at him the more he thought Wes looked like he'd just been shagged -- thoroughly.

Meanwhile, the _real_ Wesley sat inside the circle observing Will's body language as he met his protector in his mind. Will had the biggest grin on his face. *Well, I guess he likes what he's seeing. I wonder what it is.*

"Okay, Will. I want you to look down at the floor in front of you -- in the space between you and your protector. There should be a box with two keys on top of it. One for you, one for your protector. This box is where you will place the thoughts you wish to put away, out of everyday reach. Open the box, examine it, become comfortable and familiar with it. Understand that is a part of you. It exists only in you."

Will looked down and saw a wooden box with intricately carved Celtic patterns on the lid and sides. *Celtic knots? Must be from spending all those years with Peaches.* He traced the patterns with his hands, learning them by touch. He picked up the large keys and felt their weight in his hands. He handed one to 'Wes' and with the other, he opened the box and stared inside. It seemed so deep -- so deep he couldn't see the bottom.

"When you're finished examining the box and feel connected to it, close and lock it. Put the key in a place in the room or on your person where you feel comfortable leaving it. When you are ready, ascend the staircase and exit the door back into the field. When you reach the field you may relax there as long as you like. Come back to me when you are ready. There's no rush."

Wes continued to observe Will while he attuned his mind and body to the energy in the circle. He could feel how it had changed, absorbing the energy flowing from Will. The feel was strong and intense. It was different than Wesley's own energy, but he c fee feel how his own power was intertwined with Will's in the space around them. Wes knew before meeting him, that Will was a Master, but his strength was greater than Wesley had expected. Will wasn't as old as Angel, but Wesley suspected that his psychic strength might actually be greater than Angel's. With Wesley's help, Will would be dealing with the weight of his soul in no time.

Will, meanwhile, was sitting in his chair staring at the _other Wes_ and wondering when he might get the _real Wes_ in the same position. *He looks so yummy right now, all I want to do is stay here and shag him senseless. I wonder if that's allowed? Can you have sex in your mind with an imaginary 'protector'?* He grinned.

Finally, Will rose from the chair, pocketed his key, winked at Wes, and climbed the stairs with vampire speed. He burst through the door at the top and stepped out into the sunshine. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of wildflowers. As he walked through the field, he released himself from the depths of his mind and opened his eyes to find the _real Wes_ studying him.

"Welcome back," Wes said. "How do you feel?"

"Good. I feel good." Will paused and smiled as he stared at Wes and compared the two versions of his new friend.

"You're smiling. You sd a d a lot during the exercise. Shall I take that to mean that you won't object to returning some time?"

"Anytime, luv. My protector ... well, let's just say he's not too sore on the eyes. Wouldn't mind a shag with that one."

Wes smiled. "That could be arranged. Although ... I always preferred the real thing myself." *He referred to his protector as a 'he.' I wonder if it's someone I would know. Angel perhaps?*

"Really?" Will asked with a suggestive leer.

Wesley laughed and blushed. "Yes, really. So ... there's all this energy here in our circle. We need to store some of it, it's too good to waste. Do you have an object you might like to charge with the energy? A piece of jewelry perhaps?"

"Charge with energy?" Will wasn't sure what that was but it sounded like magick to him.

"There's no need to worry. It's just your energy combined with mine. We redirect it into calming energy and it should provide some protection against the nightmares while we work on storing them away."

Will was reassured by Wesley's words. He looked down at the ring on his right hand. It was one of the few things he'd kept from before being turned. "How about this?" He held up his hand.

"Perfect." Wes smiled at Will. "Now, see the energy around you and use your hands to move some of it towards you. Shape it into a ball and compress it until it rests in your cupped hands."

Wes watched as Will focused on pulling the energy into a ball. Wesley was impressed with how well Will worked with the energy. Once the energy was in Will's hands, Wesley reached out and covered Will's hands with his own -- trapping the energy between them.

"Now, focus on calm and peace as we push the energy into your ring." Wes combined his own power with Will's to help stabilize the energy as they pushed their hands together, pressing the energy into the ring.

"Wow," said Will. "I can feel it. The center of it is in the ring, but I can feel a soothing sensation radiating from it and into my body, spreading out to fill me with peace."

"Good. That means it's working." Wes smiled. "We can recharge it whenever you feel that it's losing strength. It should help you keep some focus over the next few weeks as we work on training you to control your emotions. Now I'm going to take down the circle and we'll be done for the evening."

Wes rose, and using his left hand, he sliced through the sphere as he walked around the circle. Will could see the energy flowing back into Wesley's body. *Angel didn't tell me Wes had powers, I just thought he was a regular old Watcher. I've seen Giles do some magick, but nothing of this level. Red and Glinda usually handled all the magick.*

When he was finished, Wes knelt and pressed his hands to the floor. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths and slow exhalations. Then he opened his eyes, stood up, and extended his hand to help Will up.

"What was that last thing you did? When you were kneeling?" Will asked.

"I released the extra energy back into the Earth. If I keep it all in me, I'll never get to sleep," he smiled. "I could have transferred it into an object -- like we did with your ring -- but I felt you would be uncomfortable with that. You seem a bit averse to magick, so I didn't bring any of my usual tools into the circle. Since there was nothing to store the power in, I released it back into the Earth."

"If you always put the power back into the Earth or into an object, then where does your power come from? I mean, I saw it flowing out of your hand when you cast the circle earlier. Where did it come from?"

"It's all around us, I simply channeled it through my body."

"Oh." Will stared at Wes amazed by this side of the man. He hadn't known him long, but he was beginning to see why he'd latched on to him so easily. And he understood why Angel had wanted him by his side for so long. The mortal was full of strength and beauty, power and ... gentleness.

"So," said Wes, "would you care for some blood?"

"Yeah, I would actually."
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To Live Again