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Bad Medicine	By : addielogan Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 11112 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 2
- 3
- 4
"Is it possible for us to
learn to behave in a way contrary to the way we would normally? According to
the theory of operant conditioning, the answer to this is yes. Through this
type of conditioning, an organism will learn to modify its behavior in response
to the comparison between the behavior enacted and the output received.
Naturally, the organism will begin to act in the way that allows it to receive
the most pleasurable experience."
Buffy slunk in her chair as she
listened to Professor Walsh's lecture. Her mind wandered, unbidden, to Spike.
Was that why she wanted him�because she'd found a more "pleasurable
experience" than fighting him? Was she helpless against her own biology,
"conditioned" to want Spike every time she saw him?
No, Buffy told herself, that
couldn't be the case. She had free will, the ability to make choices. It didn't
matter how pleasurable being with Spike was, it was very wrong, and not what
she wanted.
Her gaze traveled down to Riley. What
did she want? She had originally been drawn to Riley because she'd wanted a
normal boyfriend, someone outside the world she occupied as the Slayer. But now
that she'd found out Riley wasn't that, did she still want him?
"Normal" or not, he was still good. He was strong, supportive, dependable. She knew she could trust and rely on him in a
way she never could with Angel, even before Angelus had resurfaced. With Riley,
she saw what could become a safe, comfortable, long-term relationship.
But was that what she wanted? Would getting seriously involved with Riley
really mean giving up passion, fire,
like she'd worried before? And if it did, was that something worth giving up
for comfort and security?
Her mind went back to Spike again.
He could make her melt more from a glance than Riley could from his most heated
kiss. Now that she thought about it, no one since Angel had ever worked her up
nearly as much as Spike did. Angel and Spike didn't have a lot in common�aside from
the obvious. Was that what drew Buffy to both of them, the fact that they were
vampires? Was she some kind of monster lover? Buffy felt suddenly sick to her
stomach. She was supposed to kill vampires, not crave them like a drug. What
was wrong with her? Surely none of the other Slayers had had this problem�
"Buffy? You in there,
Buff?"
Buffy jumped at the sound of
Willow's voice. "What?"
"Class is over. People are
leaving. Thought maybe you'd like to follow their example."
"Oh. Right. Sorry. Something
Professor Walsh said got me thinking."
Willow elbowed Buffy. "Sure.
You were probably having another Riley daydream."
Buffy gave Willow a stern look.
"Come on, nosy. Let's go back to the dorm."
Riley was waiting for Buffy in the
hallway. "Hey! We're still on for tonight, right?" he asked.
"Tonight?"
"The Bronze. We were�"
"Rain check. Right,"
Buffy said. "I didn't forget, I swear. I just�temporarily misplaced the
information in my brain."
"Sure. Pick you up at
seven?"
"You bet."
"Great. I have some stuff to
do now, but I'll see you then."
"See you then," Buffy
echoed. Riley gave Buffy a wide smile before jogging off.
"So are things still good
between the two of you?" Willow asked as she and Buffy began to walk.
"Of course! Why wouldn't they
be?"
"You're seemed sort of on edge
around him ever since," Willow lowered her voice, "ever since what
happened with Spike."
"Ugh. Do we have to bring up that unpleasant subject?"
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm just
worried about you. You said before that you thought the Mauruk bite was still
affecting you. Is it now?"
"No! I am back to completely despising
Spike. Riley is the only man I want. Spike bad, Riley good."
"Spike bad, Riley good? Have
you been drinking?"
Buffy elbowed her best friend.
"Shut up, Will."
"Hey, um, I'm going to be out
of the room tonight�probably won't come back until morning. Just letting you
know in case, you know, you and Riley wanted to, um�"
"Where are you going to
be?" Willow asked.
"Do you remember my friend
Tara from Wicca group?"
"Yes."
"I'm going over to her dorm.
We're going to, um, practice spells." Willow blushed almost imperceptibly,
and Buffy didn't catch it.
"Have a good time. But try not
to do anything that leads to my impending nuptials, okay?" Buffy said with
a wry smile.
Willow laughed for a second before
sobering. "You know, I feel sorta guilty for that still, especially in
light of recent developments. If I had never done that stupid spell, then maybe
you'd never have had any kind of attraction to Spike, and things with the
Mauruk wouldn't have gotten so out of hand."
"Don't worry about that. I've
been attracted to Spike since the beginning." Buffy's eyes grew wide.
"I can't believe I honestly just said that."
"Neither can I�"
"Can we forget I said
it?"
"Buffy�"
Buffy looked away from Willow.
"You must think I'm such a freak, getting all hot over monsters."
Willow raised her hand slightly.
"Former werewolf lover here. Not really one to judge."
"That was different,"
Buffy said. "Oz was only a wolf sometimes. Spike is a vampire all the
time."
"Oz was the wolf all the
time," Willow said softly. "Just more so some times than other times.
It's what really drove him away in the end."
"Spike doesn't have a soul.
He's a cold-blooded killer. It's all he can ever be."
"He was always really sweet
with Drusilla. And you saw how broken he was when she left him�"
"You mean when he had you and
Xander held hostage in the factory?"
"Well, yeah. But�but that was
pre-chip. And I'm not saying you should try for a relationship, I'm just saying
maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for wanting him. He is kinda sexy�in
his own sort of Spike way. Nice accent."
"I don't want him. It was just
the Mauruk."
"But you just said�"
"Hey, look, it's our
door!" Buffy said as she and Willow approached their dorm room.
"Let's go inside!" She unlocked and opened the door. "I think
I'm going to get a head start on my homework."
"Buffy, it's Friday afternoon.
Even I don't�"
"I have a lot of
reading," Buffy said. "I don't want to put it off until Sunday, and
then have an apocalypse to stop and not get it done."
"Right. Well, I'm going to get
my stuff together to go over to Tara's, and while I do that you can pretend to
read so I'll stop asking you about Spike."
Buffy smirked. "Thanks,
Willow. You're a true friend."
Willow smiled back as she went to
her closet.

***
*** ***
"You look really beautiful
tonight," Riley said, reaching across the table and taking Buffy's hand.
"Thank you. You look good
yourself."
"Thanks." The music
changed from something upbeat to something slow and sultry. "Do you want
to dance?" Riley asked.
"Sure," Buffy replied.
Riley took her hand and led her to
the dance floor. Buffy rested her head against his shoulder as Riley held her
close, moving them in time with the music. Buffy thought back to Willow's
suggestion that she and Riley take advantage of the fact that the dorm would be
sans-roommate, and wondered if she should go for it. Surely being with Riley
would make her stop wanting Spike. Riley would be a gentle and considerate
lover, giving her exactly what she should want.
Buffy was pulled away from her
thoughts by a beeping noise. Riley let go of her, clipping his pager off his
belt and reading its message. "Buffy, I'm really sorry, but I have to go.
Can we try this date again some other time?"
"Of course," Buffy said,
forcing a smile. "Duty calls. That's something I completely
understand."
"Thank you. One of these days,
we'll get to finish a date, and I'll make this up to you, I promise." He
gave Buffy a brief kiss before leaving her alone on the dance floor.
Buffy started to walk away as well,
but was stopped when someone grabbed her, pulling her against a firm, masculine
body. "Going somewhere, pet?"
Buffy's entire body felt suddenly
overheated, despite the coolness now pressing against her. "Spike?"
"The one and only, luv."
Spike smiled as Buffy didn't push him away, but began to dance with him, her
movements reminding him of the first time he'd seen her.
She turned around in his arms. "What
are you doing here?"
"Was having myself a drink
when I saw your boy run off, and I thought to myself that it just wasn't right
for a woman as beautiful as you not to have anyone to dance with." Spike
omitted the fact that he'd been watching them since they'd gotten there, and
the only reason he hadn't ripped out Riley's throat and dragged Buffy back to
his crypt was that the chip wouldn't let him.
Buffy looked into Spike's eyes and
felt their magnetic pull. His hands ran down her arms, and she trembled.
"Willow�Willow's sleeping somewhere else tonight�" Buffy said
nervously.
"Are you inviting me back to
your dorm?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.
Buffy's expression turned coy.
"I have a bed�"
"Do you now? Let's go test how
sturdy it is."
Buffy giggled, the desire she felt
for Spike pushing away all rational thought. "Okay."
Buffy walked with Spike out of the
Bronze, feeling decidedly wicked.

***
*** ***
Buffy giggled as she worked the key
in the lock on her door.
"What's so funny,
kitten," Spike murmured, pressed up against her back.
"I feel like one of those bad
girls that sneaks older guys into her room."
Spike smirked. "You are."
Buffy opened the door, pulling
Spike in with her. "I feel like being a really bad girl tonight."
"Oh yeah? Maybe I'll have to
punish you�"
Buffy felt a thrill run through
her. During one of their times together, Buffy and Spike had discovered a
loophole with the chip�as long as his actions were meant to bring her more
pleasure than pain, then Spike could "hurt" her. Buffy knew that
shouldn't excite her as much as it did�or at all for that matter�but at the
moment, she didn't care. She met Spike's eyes and reached behind her, pulling
the zipper of her dress down and letting the silk pool around her feet. She saw
Spike suck in an unneeded breath at the sight of her. Buffy had told herself
when she had been getting dressed that night that she was putting on something
sexy in case things progressed with Riley, but now as she watched Spike's
reaction to her red lace panties and matching bra, she knew she'd been, without
realizing it, dressing for him.
"In over a century of existence,
I've never seen anything as lovely as you," Spike said, his voice full of
awe.
Buffy smiled wantonly, then got on the bed, leaning back on the pillows before
beckoning to Spike with a crooked finger. Spike pulled his shirt over his head,
and then stalked over to the bed, crawling his way up to Buffy. "Do you
have any idea what you do to me, pet?" he asked,
his voice husky.
"I have an idea," Buffy
replied, grinding her hips against his denim-clad erection.
Spike grit his teeth. "I need
you to touch me, Slayer. Need to feel those hot little hands on me."
Buffy reached down, unfastening
Spike's jeans and taking him out. He hissed as she gripped him hard, the
sensation skirting the line between pleasure and pain. She stroked him a couple
of times before pulling back. Spike looked at her, his eyes dark and wild. "Why�"
Buffy put a finger to his lips.
"Sit on the edge of the bed." Spike did what she asked without
question. The look in her eyes promised he'd be glad he did. Buffy slipped off
the bed and got to her knees in front of him.
Spike grinned down at her.
"Now this is a position I like you in, Slayer." He stroked her cheek.
"And before you say it, I'm a pig. I know."
Buffy smiled widely at him, and
Spike felt more alive than he ever had before. She took off his boots before
pulling off his jeans, leaving him completely bare to her eyes. Buffy stroked
him a few times before leaning forward, taking as much of him in her mouth as
she could. Spike moaned, his fingers tangling in her hair.
Buffy pulled back slowly, her teeth
scraping over sensitive flesh. Spike's grip tightened in her hair as he cried
out something that could've been her name. Buffy slid her mouth up and down
leisurely, Spike's pleas for more falling on seemingly-deaf ears. Then, without
warning, she sped up, cupping his balls tightly as she did, scraping them with
her nails. Spike's eyes rolled back in his head as he fought against falling
over the edge, wanting this pleasure to last as long as it could.
Buffy pulled back completely,
letting him fall out of her mouth. She waited for him too look down at her.
"Do it," she said, her breath hot on his damp skin. "I want to
taste you, swallow you." She descended again, hollowing out her cheeks and
sucking hard. Spike yelled gripping her shoulders, white knuckled, as he
emptied himself into her willing mouth.
Spike managed to make it back to
the pillows before collapsing. Buffy crawled on top of him, propping herself up
on outstretched arms. "You better make with that fast vampire recovery,
'cause I'm still less than satisfied."
"After a blow job like that,
pet, you have to give a bloke a second�vampire or not."
"But I want you to fuck me now, Spike," Buffy whined.
"And I'm good to go,"
Spike said, his erection springing back to life.
"Goody," Buffy said with
a grin.
"I like these," Spike
said, running his finger under the waistband of her panties. "Red's my
favorite color."
Buffy grinned. "I know."
Spike slid Buffy's underwear down
her body, using his feet to push them completely off. Buffy put her weight on
one arm and stared to unhook her bra, but Spike stopped her. "No. Keep it
on."
Buffy smiled at him, her hands
moving to his chest as she slid back, taking him inside. She closed her eyes, a
look of pure bliss on her face as he filled her. She moved slowly for a moment,
letting herself stretch, before she sped up, pumping her hips wildly.
Spike reached up, caressing her
lace-covered breasts. The harsh material rubbed her over-sensitized skin, and
Buffy moaned, pushing herself into his hands. He raised his hips to meet her
movements, breathing heavily, even though somewhere in the back of his mind he
knew he didn't need to. But he wanted to. With Buffy, he wanted to forget he
was dead.
Buffy felt like she was burning. It
was more intense than anything she'd known. She opened her eyes, meeting
Spike's and gasping. His eyes seemed so soft, his expression tender.
"Buffy�" he whispered, moving a hand up to cup her face.
"Spike," Buffy replied,
reaching up to take the hand from her cheek and hold it. She slowed her
movements, gently rocking, her gaze never leaving his. She felt something
building inside her, something she couldn't really describe, other
than that it felt new and wonderful.
Spike reached between them,
flicking her clit once, and she was gone. She came with a loud, keening yell, her
muscles gripping Spike so tight his vision blurred. He thrust into her a few
more times before coming himself.
Buffy collapsed on his chest.
"Best�yet�" she said, her voice shaky.
"I second that." Spike
reached up, stroking her hair. "You were bloody amazing, Slayer."
"So were you," Buffy
admitted quietly. She sat up, wincing as he slid out of her. "I'm going to
go down the hall to the bathroom. I'll be right back." She threw on a pair
of sweatpants and a t-shirt she had nearby and left the room.
Buffy was washing her hands in the
communal bathroom when her next door neighbor came in. "Sounds like you
had some fun," the girl said with a knowing smirk.
"Huh?" Buffy asked,
looking up, her eyes wide.
"Yeah, like all that screaming
and bed creaking could be anything else," the girl said. "Sounded
hot. You go girl."
Buffy blushed. "Um,
thanks." She hurried out of the bathroom, not able to look at her
neighbor. When she got back to her room, Spike was lounging on her bed, still
undressed.
"My neighbor heard us,"
Buffy said, whispering. "I just ran into her in the bathroom."
Spike smirked. "With your
screaming, I'd think so."
"I do not scream" Spike
raised an eyebrow, and Buffy sighed. "Okay, maybe I do."
"C'mere, kitten."
Buffy hurried over to him, hopping
onto the bed, and snuggling in his arms. She knew this man should be her mortal
enemy, but right now she felt too good care. He'd treated her better after sex
than any other man had, and that bought him some respect in Buffy's eyes.
Spike was silent for a while,
enjoying the feel of Buffy in his arms. He'd never thought that he could feel
anything like this for the Slayer, but he knew now she was working her way into
his heart. His fantasies of wooing back Drusilla had come to an abrupt
standstill, replaced by nothing but fantasies of Buffy. She was unlike any
woman he'd ever met, and as much as that scared him, he was unable to pull
away. "What is this to you?" he asked after a few minutes.
"What's what?"
"Us."
Buffy's answer was so quiet that
Spike was sure he wouldn't have been able to hear it were it not for vampire
hearing. "I don't know."
"I like being with you,
Buffy," Spike admitted. "You make me feel, well, really good. And I don't just mean physically. When you smile at me
it�it makes me want to write poetry."
Buffy lifted her head slightly.
"You write poetry?"
"Used to. When I was
human."
"Was it any good?"
"Wonderful." Spike
laughed at Buffy's incredulous expression. "Okay, that's a lie. It was awful."
Buffy laughed, too. "Couldn't
have been that bad�"
Spike rolled his eyes, reciting in
a monotone, "My heart expands, 'tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your
beauty, effulgent."
"It was all right until
effulgent�" Buffy said with a smirk. "Okay, maybe the 'bulge in it'
was a little lame, too."
"You wound me, Slayer,"
Spike said, although his smile said otherwise.
"Still," Buffy said, running
her fingers up and down his chest, "Better than anything I could
write."
"You don't need to write
anything," Spike said. "The way you move when you fight�it's bloody
poetry in motion. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"
Buffy looked at him. "Why are
you being so nice to me?"
"Dunno. Maybe you fucked the
meanness right out of me." He wagged his eyebrows.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "There
he is."
"There who is?"
"Pig Spike. I was about to go
out and check for pods."
Spike chuckled. "No need for
that. This is the real me."
Buffy regarded him for a moment.
"Is it?"
Her intense gaze made Spike shift
uncomfortably. "Yeah."
Buffy closed her eyes, settling
down on his chest. "I'm tired."
"Get some sleep then,
kitten," Spike said softly, holding her close.
"Good night, Spike."
"Good night, Buffy."
Spike watched her as she slept, a warmth seeming to spread through his whole body. Suddenly,
something Drusilla had said before, when she'd left him for the chaos demon, came back to him.
"You're
all covered with her. I look at you�all I see is the Slayer."
Spike knew then, knew what Drusilla
had meant. In all her craziness, she was at times amazingly perceptive. "I'm
in love with the Slayer," Spike said, the words sounding strange even to
his own ears, but undoubtedly true at the same time. "Well isn't this a
bloody joke."
He looked at the sleeping woman in
his arms, and he felt his throat tighten. He wanted to hold her forever. But it
would be sunrise soon, and he was sure Buffy wouldn't want him stuck in her
dorm all day. She'd been warm to him tonight, but Spike knew his Slayer well
enough to know that could change in an instant. He slipped out of bed, his
long-dead heart breaking a little when she whimpered in her sleep and reached
for the spot he'd vacated. Spike dressed quickly, not trusting himself to be
able to go if he didn't do it now. He allowed himself one last glance at her
before leaving the room.

***
*** ***
Buffy woke alone. It was the same
way she always woke up, but this morning it felt wrong. Then she remembered
why. Spike. The previous night had been incredible, with Buffy feeling like she'd
seen him through new eyes. She'd thought that maybe she'd finally found a man
who would stay with her through the night, but Spike had proven himself to be
just like all the others. He hadn't even left a note.
Buffy sat up in the bed, pulling
her knees to her chest as she cried. She hated herself, for thinking even for a
second that she could feel anything for Spike, for forgetting he didn't have a
soul. She wasn't sure what he'd gotten out of being so nice to her that night,
but she was sure it gave him some sick sense of satisfaction. "He's
probably off somewhere laughing at the stupid, gullible Slayer," Buffy
said aloud the tears coming down harder.
The door opened, and Buffy looked
up sharply. Willow walked in, the smile she'd been wearing falling away as she
saw her friend's face. She shut the door and ran over to the bed. "Buffy!
What happened? Did Riley turn out to be a jerk, cause�"
"Not Riley. Spike." Buffy
let out a choked sob.
"Spike? Didn't we kinda
already know he was a jerk?"
Buffy started to cry harder. Willow
reached out, awkwardly stroking her hair. "I forgot, Will," Buffy
said, sniffling. "Last night, Riley got called away,
and�and Spike was at the Bronze. I invited him back to the dorm. I don't know
why, I just wanted him. And we�we made love. And it was so beautiful. It wasn't
like any of the other times. And afterwards he held me, and he recited poetry�his
poetry."
"Spike writes poetry?"
"He used to. At least he said
he did. He was probably lying, just trying to mess
with me, like he was all night."
"What do you mean? Did he say
something?"
"No! He didn't say anything! I�I
woke up this morning, and he was just gone."
"Maybe he wanted to avoid the
sun," Willow said. "Or�or he was afraid you'd get mad you opened up a
little, and stake him."
"No. He didn't even leave a
note. He left just like Parker, and just�just like Angel. He doesn't have a
soul, Willow!" Buffy's sobs began anew.
"Want me to stake him?"
"No," Buffy said. She
pulled away from Willow, wiping at her eyes. "As much as this hurt, it was
good that it happened. Opened my eyes, reminded me who I'm dealing with. This
isn't some sweet, potential boyfriend type guy. This is Spike. Nasty, evil
Spike. I won't forget that again."
"If you need help remembering,
I can write it on the back of your eyelids," Willow said with a tentative
smile. "Or maybe make you a t-shirt."
Buffy chuckled. "Thanks for
the offer, but I think the blindingly-painful memory of this morning should be
enough, thank you."
"Okay, but if you change your
mind on anything�staking or t-shirt�just let me know." Willow winked. "I
got your back."
"Thanks,
Will. You're the best friend ever."
"I really am, aren't I?"
Buffy laughed. "How about we
go see if we can find some sort of ice cream that involves massive amounts of
chocolate? I think I could use it right now."
Willow gave Buffy a quick hug. "Sounds
good to me."

***
*** ***
This story is turning into a lot
more than I was planning� Leave a review and let me know what you think!
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