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Cookies & Oil	By : Esile Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Threesomes/Moresomes > Angel(us)/Buffy/Spike(William) > Angel(us)/Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4853 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS) or Angel, the Series (AtS); nor any of the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Three

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AN: Thank you all for your kind words. I hope this meets up with your expectations, I am still not happy with some of the wording but the plot is exactly the way I want it. So let's get on with the show. The good stuff will be in the next chapters.

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She tried very hard not to lose her courage when she saw the one she had thought had left this earth for good. She failed miserably. If her life depended on her speaking she would have died right then and there. The whole speech she had prepared went out the window. Yet she was so sure she had made the right choice there was no doubt about that in Buffy's mind.

Spike misinterpreted the lack of courage in Buffy's eyes. she was there to tell him that she wanted to be with the poofter, there was no doubt about that in Spike's mind. Why wouldn't she? He mussed. e'se's her soul mate, the champion that gave up his love for her to be able to have a normal life. Angel's the guy she could never be just friends with and if we were anything that last year on the hell mouth, we were definitely friends. Well it was enough for me then it will have to be enough for me now. Her rejecting me like this is painful for me but been there before and still lived for a hundred odd years. She never loved me and that's how it is.

All Angel saw was the look the other two occupants of the room gave each other and if the silence continued one more second he would disintegrate into dust from the anxiety. She had chosen Spike, there was no doubt about that in Angel's mind. How could she not? Spike had died saving her, he had gotten a soul for her and could be with her without turning her friends into a horror display. Besides this new Spike had easily beaten him to the cup and this Spike looked at Buffy with the same respect and adoration he had once bestowed on Drusilla.

Angel said the first thing that came in to his mind, in a tone that resembled a conversation. "You're here? How's England?"

Buffy blinked and turned her head away from Spike to look at Angel before giving him a slight smile. "Still with the lame questions, dear?" She walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek before thinking about it consciously. She turned towards Spike and saw the hurt flash through his eyes before the big bad took over again. Foot meet my mouth, it just kissed a vampire.

She walked over to the diner table in a desperate act to bring some distance between herself and the antsy vampires. She opened a bottle of beer. "I see you found the beer."

"Buffy, Luv? Why are we here?"

She gestured towards the couches and chairs in the sitting area. The vampires sat. She paced before them. Breathing deeply a few time and stopping to look at them, then she returned to her pacing. Suddenly she twirled around looking at them and spoke: "You did get my cookies and my note, right?"

They nodded and looked expectantly at her waiting for a further explanation.

"Well then you know exactly why we are here."

Angel and Spike started talking at the same time.

"It looks like you are here to tell me you are going to be with him."

They looked at each other and again said simultaneously.

"Me?"

"Right, Wanker! Very funny, you poofter. Why would she ever choose me if she could have you. The brooding, star crossed, non-shagger, soul mate!?!"

"For starters? You, classless poetic fool, I can't have her in every way even if I could 'shag' her. There will be no children, no picnics in the sun. None of that!"

A snort interrupted them before they started on round two of Childish Behavior 101.

"How many choices do you think I have exactly?" She asked in an extremely coy voice. The vampires turned towards her and two eyebrows rose in question.

Angel was the first to respond to the question. "What do you mean by choices exactly?"

"You both assumed I was here to tell you I was going to choose the other. That implied I have two choices but as I see it there is at least one more." The bottom fell out of the pit of two vampire stomachs.
"So you're telling us you're in love with somebody else?" Spike asked.

Buffy turned into a fuming volcano in seconds, taking out months of frustration on the one who caused it. "What is it with you and your 'I'm so damn sure that Buffy doesn't love me' attitude! You, infuriating moron! First you tell me I don't love you and then die and now that you're back, you're still telling me I can't possibly be here to tell you I want to be with you."

Angel opened his mouth to speak. "As for you, mister 'I can't be with her all the way, so I'll just leave her all together', that was always my decision to make. Never yours! I love making my own decisions. I've been doing a lot of that these last few months and if even once you would have bothered to hear the messages Willow has left for you, you would have known that she altered the curse that last time in L.A. She took the happiness clause right out of the equation!"

They sat there looking at her dumbfounded and she calmed down at the sight.

"The way I see it. I have 4 choices." She started ticking off her fingers. "One, I stay single. Can we all say 'sexual frustration makes me a sloppy slayer'? Two, I try the dating thing again." She merely scrounged up her nose in disgust at the thought. "Three, I break the heart of one of you and always feel an empty space in my life or Four, I don't choose between either of you."

She dropped a significant silence. They turned to look at each other. Then again at Buffy.

"I have my soul permanently?"

"That's what I said!"

"You meant it?"

"Every word of it!"

But Spike wasn't too clear about her intentions or at least he couldn't fathom that she was suggesting what he thought she might be suggesting. "And by not choosing between either of us, you mean what exactly?"

Now she'd sat down because she knew she didn't have the strength to stand while she tried explaining this concept that she had taken a long time thinking about. The two vampires thought she looked so amazingly beautiful sitting there in a large plush cream colored chair, hunched forward with her elbows on her knees and her head supported on her hands which left her long blond hair to fall over them.

One big breath and she spoke. "I have spent some time reading the Watchers' Diaries that were saved from the Council after the bombing. They held lots of descriptions of the relationship between Angelus, Drusilla and William." A hand came up to stop Angel from speaking. "Let me tell you what I want without interruptions, please." He nodded but she was already speaking again. "It spoke of how 'relations' as they call it flowed back and forth between you three and that even though it didn't seem like a consenting relationship it was a ménage a trois, nonetheless. That got me thinking, I love you both and now that you have your soul permanently and you're back fully, I want to have you both. I have spent seven years of my life making compromises. Putting things I want off for the sake of humanity. Letting my calling dictate how I lived and deal with the world around me. Slowly I have been regaining my identity, I am becoming the woman that should have grown out of that fresh mouthed teenager, only I'm becoming an even better version of her because now I know that I can do just about anything. I am strong, carefree, independent, intelligent and beautiful. Yet I miss one thing."

She stood up and walked over to them, Angel had sat on the couch and Spike in the chair next to it. She sat on the coffee table, placing herself in between them.

"Arms to hold me, soft whispered words of love and somebody to give myself to. I know I will never find a man who holds all the qualities I am looking for to do that with. People seldom do but I am extremely lucky, I found two vampires who combined hold all I am looking for and they love me. So why could we not be together if we talk about it like adults. "

She touched both their faces and said: "What I am saying is that I want to be in a relationship with you both. Mentally, spiritually but most of all, physically. "

The silence was thick. The music had ended long ago and the men sat there staring silently at the woman before them.

"Luv, don't take this the wrong way but I need some time to digest what you told us tonight. So I'm going to go and smoke a cigarette on the balcony but don't get me wrong, it's not a rejection it's just me needing some time and fresh air. Is that alright?"

She only nodded. When Spike was outside and the sliding doors had closed again, Angel walked over to the beer cooler and took out another one. Using the time to try and sort through his emotions.

Buffy sat on the coffee table trying to be brave. What had gone wrong? She hadn't exactly been expecting whoops of joy and hugs or kisses but this wasn't what she had expected either. This silence and these vibes going through the air, she had no idea where they came from.

Spike inhaled deeply. He had never felt this ambiguous about anything in his whole existence. One part of him was jumping of joy at the chance to be with Buffy fully, on a basis of respect and friendship. The other part of him was extremely apprehensive about starting another ménage a trois with Angelus. He had just started to be his own man again. Not since the chip and the whole mind meddling affair with the first had he felt like that. He wanted nothing else like he wanted to be with Buffy but he was afraid to let Angel take it all away from him again. 'Talk about it like adults', that was what she had said. The problem was that he didn't feel like an adult at that moment. He felt like a 3 year old toddler stamping his feet and throwing a temper tantrum because he had to share his favorite teddy bear. Then again, was saying no to this whole arrangement even a possibility? Spike knew it was not. He would do whatever Buffy asked of him but he would try to get some things straight and arranged first. This was just another test of how much his own man he could really be. He was going to agree but at the same time he wanted some of his terms met.

Angel stood by the table and was deep in thought. Never in a million years had he expected Buffy to make a request like this. He didn't view her as a small fragile creature anymore but this still came to him as a surprise. He was never proud of the way things had gone between Angelus, Drusilla and William. It was never about being in love with two beautiful creatures but about the game, the power, being the Alpha male. He knew he wasn't that man anymore.

He had his soul. The thought of being with Buffy in every way imaginable sent shivers down his spine. Must send Willow an enormous Amazon.com's gift certificate! His ctioctions to her being with a vampire still stood but then again he had fathered a child and that had gone enormously wrong. The pang in his heart over losing Connor came back with a vengeance and he took a big breath to steady himself. He missed him so much and maybe now he could lose some of that anguish just by being with his love. That still left him to deal with the other vampire in this triangle equation.

Angel had decided after he heard about the soul that he would try to help Spike deal with the guilt of the centuries spent gallivanting across the world in a killing spree. The older vampire felt a sense of responsibility about that. He had been the one to suggest to Drusilla that she might need a new pet. Therefore Spike's whole existence was the product of another of Angelus' misdeeds. Of course, then he'd learned about Spike's death and the way Sunnydale had been victorious over its hellmouth and all thoughts of sympathy and help had gone to the back of his mind. Could he share his soul mate with this vampire? Could he give her what she asked for not only for her but also for Spike's sake? The answer was simply yes, he could.

Buffy had thought long and hard about what she wanted from them but only now she started to think about what they might want from her and that maybe it would not be possible for them to say yes to her proposal. Even worse what if one of them said yes and the other no. what ifs lead to nowhere land. You can deal with whatever will happen here tonight. You tried. What was it that poetry professor always sprouted: "It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." She grinned to herself at the absurdity of the statement and felt better.

Then the excruciating sound of the sliding doors pulled both of them out of their reflections. Spike entered swaying and with a big smile. "I'm ready to make a deal if you are!"

Buffy smiled delighted at him and he could not for the unlife of him remember any objection he could have had out on the balcony. His girl turned her head to look at Angel waiting to hear his decision.

"I see no objections to it either." The tall vampire spoke softly. Buffy jumped up from the coffee table and stood there looking at them almost like she wanted to jump up and down with joy. "We should discuss terms, though," Spike tried to temper her enthusiasm. There was still a chance they couldn't find a way to be together without somebody, for instance him, getting hurt. He walked to the small stationary table hotels usually provide for doing correspondence. He pulled out some paper and three pens. Then he took a seat at the diner table looking expectantly at the other two for them to take a seat.

"We state everything we expect from this and then we write it down. Especially the things we think go without saying. Then if we feel anyone of us is infringing our rules we whip out the document and kick their arses with it." Spike explained.

Buffy grinned. "You do know none of us is really good at the whole talking about feelings thing, right?"

"And that's exactly why we should do it." Angel supported Spike, making Spike look at him as if he had sprouted a second head. Angel merely shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention to Buffy. "I know of some good High Schools for Dawn in L.A. and I'm sure we can get you two a good apartment."

Buffy snorted and loudly this time. "Here's Buffy's rule # 1. No making decisions or assumptions for me." She wrote it down in strong fast strokes. "If and when I choose to move back to the States I'll let you know."

The younger vampire couldn't help but grin in his usually infuriating manner. "Could have told you about that one, mate. My first rule is we know exactly when who is with who if the other is not around." He looked at Angel square in the eye and said. "No more walking in on something!"

Buffy noticed Angel's unease and was about to ask what it meant when he spoke first. "You can ask me anything but when I tell you I don't want to talk about it we don't discuss it anymore. Clear?" Both, Buffy and -Spike, held up their hands and moved backwards in their seat in a gesture of surrender, "Clear" they said.

They unbottled the last beers and wrote down a few more rules. When they were finished they sat smiling at each other. Angel stood up and fetched the champagne and strawberries. He hit the play button on the cd player on his way back. "Let's celebrate!"

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