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What are we gonna do now?	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3568 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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What are we gonna do now?

Chapter 3

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Rupert Giles escorted Buffy to Heathrow to see her off on her flight.

He was experiencing mixed feelings about Buffy’s leaving. Of course, he was happy that she was happy. He had known for a long time that she wasn’t really happy doing what she had been doing, but every time he suggested a change, she had turned him down. Her sense of duty was touching, but seeing her miserable wasn’t making him happy. He was, therefore, glad to see her accept this assignment in L.A. . He knew she had been longing to get back to that dreadful land of no weather. But then again, it was where she had been born and raised. He could understand the nostalgia.

But, of cou he he was going to miss her terribly. For nearly 10 years she had been a significant part of his life. That was going to change now, and it's never a happy time for a parent to see a beloved child leave home. Ok, he knew he wasn’t her parent, but he always had strong feelings for his charge and slayer, and he considered her a daughter. The only daughter he was likely to have. She had time and again made him exasperated. Much more often though, she had made him proud. He couldn’t have asked for a better child.

As they sat waiting for her plane to depart, Rupert watched her. He saw an ebullient young woman, one he hadn’t seen in a long time. His heart lightened, because he would rather see her happy, even if it meant she would be so far away.

“Well, Buffy, your plane will be here soon. Are you getting excited?” Giles smiles, already knowing the answer.

“ Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to being in L.A. again. I guess I’m just not cut out for England, Giles. Sorry” Buffy smiled, a little sadly.

“ I understand, Buffy. I missed England when I was in that land of no weather.” Giles replied. “ I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated all the work you did here. I know it was trying and stressful for you. I’m glad you have an assignment to which you are looking forward.”

“ I'm going to miss you, Buffy” Giles said, turning away . He didn’t want her to see how much.

“ Don’t worry, Giles. I have left strict instructions with Dawn to annoy, harass and otherwise make your life miserable, so you won’t miss me too much” She smiled. She really was going to miss him, also.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of getting you a little something” Giles handed her a small box.

“Giles? For me! Goodie! Presents!” She smiled, and opened the box. Inside was a gold necklace. It had a solid gold stake pendant. She felt her eyes tearing up. “ Thank you, Giles, I love it. Could you?” She said, turning around so he could put it on.

“ I wanted to make sure you always had one, just in case” He smiled, securing the clasp.

“ I got you a little something too” Buffy said. She handed him a box.

Giles opened it, and was quite taken aback. It was an old fashioned pocket watch, the kind with a cover to protect the face. When he opened it, he saw the inscription.

To Giles:

The man who has been more than a father to me

Love always, Buffy

Giles was quite overcome. Despite his best efforts, he felt a tear on his cheek.

“Thank you, Buffy. I will treasure it always” Giles said, not being able to mask the emotion in his voice.

She ran a finger down his jacket lapel and smiled. “ I thought it quite fit you”

At that moment they heard her flight announced over the P.A. They got up, and he helped her with her carry-on bag. After they had reached the gate, and she had presented her ticket, she turned to him. She had tears in her eyes. She took him in a big hug. She planted a small kiss on his cheek.

“ I’m going to miss you, Giles. You write me, you call me, and you come visit me. Hear?”

“ Of course” He said, gently disengaging her. “ Now scoot before you miss your flight”

He watched her walk up the boarding ramp, and realized a good piece of his heart was going with her. He wandered over to the terminal window, and watched her flight depart. As the plane flew away, he said to himself

“ Take care, Buffy. Be happy”

A sad little smile played on his face as he walked away.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Buffy was feeling excited and a little scared at the same time.

She was really looking forward to running the L.A. training center. She knew it was going to be a challenge for her. She realized of course, there would be a lot of administrative duties, including…ugh…paperwork. But she had assistants she could delegate that too, and she would be able to take an active role in training. Especially the more advanced students. Of course, there were teachers and Watchers there, to assist in the girl’s education, but all in all it would be a definite change from the previous two years. She had been training vigorously for the last month since Faith’s call. She felt somewhat ready. But she was well aware there would be things popping up to throw her. She didn’t mind. She liked the idea.

She had to admit to herself that she was more than a little scared to be seeing Faith again. It had been two years, and so much had gone on since then. It was almost like they were having to start over, once again. She hoped it wasn’t going to be weird. They had a fine conversation on the phone, but seeing her in person was going to be a whole different matter. Then there was the idea of the kind of relationship she hoped they would have. They had been bitter enemies, and then allies against the First. But Buffy wanted more. She wanted a good, solid friendship with her co-slayer. That is something they had never had, and something that Buffy deep in her heart had always wanted.

She had never admitted it to anyone, but when she and Faith had switched bodies with the help of the mayor’s amulet, it had given her a glimpse at the kind of life Faith had led.

She had never realized how alone Faith had felt. How hunted she had been, and how she had to hide. Hide being a child, hide it all, just to survive. It was a new experience for Buffy; she had never been as alone as Faith had been. She had always had someone to turn to, when she needed. It was scary for her, and she could imagine how bad it had been for Faith. Who had lived it day in and day out for years.

Since that time, she had always wondered what could have been with them. She had tried to think of ways that, if she had ever had another chance with Faith, she could reach out to her, form a bond they had never shared.

And it had made her think of how much she had regretted not reaching out to her before. Letting her know that she had a friend, someone who would stand by her when she needed a friend. She regretted she had never noticed Faith’s good impulses, only her bad ones. This had caused Buffy a lot of guilt in the intervening years.

Now she had a chance to make it up with Faith, and she was going to do her best to forge that friendship. She knew both women still had demons from the past to overcome, but she felt real hope about their relationship. For the first time she felt they could grow as close as they should have those many years past.

Buffy settled back in her seat, and turned off the overhead light. She decided to catch some sleep, as it was a long flight ahead. Faith was still on her mind as she closed her eyes. As she drifted off, she fell into a dream.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

In her dream, She and Faith were once again on that rooftop. The rooftop where they had met for their final confrontation. They were fighting, each knowing that only one slayer would be walking away from this battle. Emotions were high on both ends. However, as the battle progressed, it slowed, as if they were battling underwater. And it became more of a dance, than a battle. Suddenly, Buffy found the knife in her hand. Seeing an opening, she lunged at Faith, but missed. She ran up into a wall, and turned, seeing Faith charging at her. But, instead of the knife plunging into Faith, she found herself in Faith’s arms. They were in a passionate embrace, their lips hungrily kissing. The kiss deepened, and soon both felt a glow flow between them. And just as suddenly, they were no longer on the rooftop, but in a room. A large, well lit room with sunlight streaming through bay windows. And they were still in an embrace, but they were sharing a post coital kiss. They both were caught in the afterglow of passionate lovemaking. As Buffy drew back, she was horrified. She had blood on her hands, and there was blood on the sheets. She looked at Faith, and she saw her bleeding from a wound in her stomach. All of a sudden, they were back again on the roof. Her hand was clasped to the hasp of the knife, which was plunged into Faith. And she saw Faith’s eyes. She saw the surprise, the shock, and the hurt. Then Faith was jumping over the edge of the roof, and Buffy felt her mind screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”. She ran to try to catch her, but it was already too late…too late…

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

“ …too late….too late”

Buffy awoke with a start. She realized she had been talking in her sleep, and was very upset. Her face was sweaty, and her body was shaking. She was full of fear. She had the nightmare again, the one that kept coming back to her. She didn’t understand it, but it left her with a haunted feeling. Still shaking, she asked the flight attendant for a drink. As she sat waiting for it to come, she stared out the window. She knew she wouldn’t be sleeping anymore on this flight.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Faith had been waiting at the terminal for 90 minutes.

She had gotten here early, not being sure how L.A. traffic would be, and by chance, it was especially light this evening. So she had lots of time to think. And the more she thought, the more nervous she had become.

Faith:

God, I want this to go right. I'm so scared I’m gonna screw this up, and I'm shaking, I’m so nervous. C’mon, Faith. You’re not a kid anymore. This isn’t like a “first date”. It’s just two friends getting together. So why is this so damned important to me?

I never told B. how she saved my life. When we switched bodies, for the first time I got a look at how she lived. I admit, I was totally jealous at first. She had a home, a mom, friends. But as I lived in her body, I realized that she had it tough, too. She was always expected to be perfect, to do the right thing. She never got the luxury of saying “Screw it” and walking away. Also, despite friends and family, when it came down to it, she was alone. Just like I was alone.

So on that freight I caught out of Sunnydale, I did a lot of thinking. Trying to come to terms. I finally realized that I had to atone for what I had done. When the train hit L. A., I got off. I wandered around for a few weeks, trying to decide what to do. Then I ran into Angel, and he made me realize what I had to do. I turned myself in, and faced the punishment for my crimes.

And it helped. Helped to think of her when I was in there. It kept me focused on redemption. It gave me a goal. To someday get out of prison, and meet up with her. To try to make amends, and with luck possibly start over, possibly even be friends. It gave me something to look forward to.

Angel kept in contact. He would bring me books to read, and helped me pass my G.E.D while in prison. Also, he was my source of news about Buffy. It helped to know what she was doing with her life. Helped a lot.

Then came that day. That dark day. When Angel told me she had died. Died fighting a Hell God. To save the world. Again. And that day, I thought I would die too. Alone in my cell, biting my pillow so my sobs wouldn’t be heard, I cried my heart out. I had lost my chance. Lost my chance at redemption, at being a part of B’s life, in some small way. I was devastated. Those months after her death were bitter. I lost hope. I lost my dream.

Then a few months later, Angel told me B. had come back. That Red had brought her back. It was like I had a second chance. I had gotten a reprieve. I felt hope rekindle in my heart, and I felt like a ton had been lifted from me. I began to look forward again.

Then came the day Wesley broke me out. To help Angel. Who had lost his soul, trying to fight a demon who was part of yet another apocalypse. They tell me I nearly died during the fight we had with Angelus. I remember the dream we shared. How I saw first hand how he had suffered for 80 years this curse of the soul, reliving his past deeds, and fighting the demon within that plagued him. He finally won, his soul restored by , yes, once again, Red.

And then I got my chance at redemption. I went back with Red to help fight The First Evil. On the way we talked, and I was amazed at the change in Red. Gone was the shy computer geek. Here was a woman who had seen much. And when I learned how she had herself gone dark, and had nearly destroyed the world, I was blown away. Red? Sweet little Red? It was hard to believe. Yet here she was, powerful, yet humbled by what she had been through.

When we got to B’s, I was nervous. Understandably so. And then I saw her, and I was again blown away by her. Gone was the little High school girl I had known. She had been replaced by a young woman of genuine toughness, a new steel to her. Yet, hidden beneath was this overwhelming sadness, and vulnerability. It was awkward at first; our history together dictated that. But as she saw I was genuinely there to help her, to be on the right side of the battle, she accepted me. She really accepted me.

When the potentials voted her out as leader, I saw the hurt in her eyes. How she had done all she could to protect them, and they rejected her. I went out on the porch, trying to explain that I didn’t want this to happen. When she turned back to me, I expected her to lash out. And again, she surprised me. She had tears in her eyes, but she only said not to be afraid to lead them, to protect them, but to lead them.. I was so torn at that moment. I wanted nothing more to just hold her, and let her know despite what the others thought, I believed in her. But she was already gone.

I learned the hard way what she had been doing. How tough it was to lead, and how much it hurt to lose someone in the fight. And yet, when she came back, she didn’t gloat. She didn’t make me feel like crap. She comforted me, in her way. She told me that we were at war, and in wars, people die. Stupid , needless deaths, but it's a fact.

In the final battle, she got a wound that should have killed her. And she passed the scythe to me, and told me to fight on, to get it done. And when I had killed the Turok-han that killed her, and three others, and looked back. She was back. Back on her feet fighting. And somehow we won. I thought for sure she was gone. We were pulling out on the bus, Sunnydale collapsing around us…and I look up, and she is there, running, running to catch us. And she jumps on the bus, and rides out with us. I can’t tell you how happy I was at that moment.

Did I mention how in much awe I hold for this woman? So tiny, smaller than me. And she just keeps going. Keeps saving the world. And no one realizes how much she has saved all of us.

And I’m waiting here, sweating bullets. I'm trying to think what I’m going to say to her. And her flight is announced, and I go looking for her gate, to meet her. And I’m near the luggage carousel. And suddenly I'm nearly knocked over, but this incredibly powerful pair of arms are holding me, and this small blonde woman has me in her hug. She looks at me and says “ Do you realize how much I’ve missed you?” and I reply, “ Nearly as much as I’ve missed you?” and we stand there and just hug for awhile. We finally break the embrace, and we get her bags. Laughing, arms around each other, we leave the airport.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Buffy:

As my flight is landing, I’m getting more and more nervous. I …am finding it hard find the words I want to say to her. I have so much to say, so much I want her to know. And when I get off the plane, I’m nearly shaking. Showtime, and I feel so unprepared. So, I'm going for my luggage. And as I’m heading down the concourse, I see her by the luggage carousel. And I'm running. I don’t know how, but I'm running. And I take her into a big hug, and I must have startled her, because I nearly knock her down. And then, she has this incredible smile on her face. And it's like we’ve never been apart. I say to her “ Do you realize how much I’ve missed you?” and she replies, “ Nearly as much as I’ve missed you? ” and we are just hugging, and laughing. It's like …so comfortable. We retrieve my bags, and arms around each other, laughing, we leave the airport.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
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What are we gonna do now?