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The Shock of the Normal	By : QueenB Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Buffy > Angel(us)/Buffy Views: 10695 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Buffy hefted the sword and approached the demon. Part of her balked at killing a creature while it was helplessly chained up. But this was no time to be noble. Somebody had sicced this thing on her as if it was a pitbull and she had a pretty good notion who the culprits were. Too bad the thing didn’t seem to speak; she would have liked to know the whereabouts of her tormentors.
Angel stepped silently behind her and then paused. There was another demon’s odor permeating the place and his lip curled as he recognized it. It was Spike again. His scent lay all over the basement. He crossed over to the furnace where it seemed to be strongest.
Buffy noticed his absorption. “Angel? What’s up? Why the bloodhound imitation?”
He growled, “Spike,” and pulled back the furnace Buf Buffy’s amazement, she could see a long tunnel leading from behind the furnace into the darkness.
“Wh--where did this come from?” She peered into it. The floor the passage was smooth and well worn as if used often. But who could have--?
All of a sudden, certain things clicked into place. Coming across Spike emerging from the basement holding her baby pictures. Spike’s mysterious appearance in her bedroom when he’d led her to Riley’s den of shame.
Her grip on her sword tightened unconsciously. “That shit. I don’t believe it. He’s been using this to sneak into the house.”
From above the two heard shouts of “Buffy! Angel!” just before footsteps came pelting down the stairs.
“Where are they?” cried Dawn.
“I don’t see them. There’s only one way out of here, isn’t there?” Willow asked uncertainly.
“Guess again.” Buffy stepped forward from behind the furnace and beckoned to the startled girls.
__________
“Wow, how long do you think Spike was using that thing?” Dawn murmured as she and Willow walked out the door.
“Buffy’s not sure. According to Angel’s sniffy-sense, about a year, maybe longer.”
“Ewwww. That is so of the creepy. Do you think Buffy’ll kill him this time if she gets to his crypt?” The teenager wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She disliked Spike intensely now that she knew how badly he’d made Buffy feel. But Spike had told her Buffy had led him on…kinda. So now she was really ambivalent in her feelings towards him. Still, the idea that he’d had a secret passage into the home she thought of as hers was more than a little squirm inducing.
“I don’t know,” was Willow’s unhappy reply. “I mean, Spike was the helpy one when we needed him and it was good that he had a quick non-sunshiney way into the house. But Buffy says this started way back before they got involved so there’s definitely hintage of stalker ‘tude all mixed up in this underground lair business.”
Any further conversation was cut off as Xander pulled up to drive the ladies to school. “Good morning, girls! How’s my witchy one and Key gal doing on this splendiferous day?”
The females gave the man in the car decidedly suspicious looks. “Okay, who are you and what did you do with depresso-Xander?” Willow demanded.
“Yeah, aren’t you still broken up over doing the Anya ditch at your non-wedding?” Dawn chimed in.
“That is over. As of today, you are seeing the new, improved, newly-committed Xander of the Xander-and-Anya show.” Xander beamed at the two passengers as he pulled out from the sidewalk.
Dawn squealed in delight. “Xander and Anya? Does that mean you’re back together again?”
He nodded his head vigorously. “You are correct, oh Shiny-Haired One. Last night after I helped Angel chain up the demon world’s answer to Mr. Clean, I decided to take his advice and beg Anya to take me back.”
“And then what happened?” Willow was certain the reconciliation was neither as smooth nor as easy as Xander made it sound. Her suspicion was confirmed when she caught sight in the rear view mirror of Xander grimacing.
“Well, after throwing some things at me and yelling for several minutes about how irresponsible and cruel I was, we made up and agreed to give it another try. I told her that I was afraid I’d turn out like my dad and maybe I’d jumped the gun in the marriage thing. We’re taking it slow this time out but we are definitely gonna get hitched, you betcha.” (Actually, “made up” was a mild way of describing the hot sex the two had engaged in as a way of relieving their pent-up frustrations. But the two with him didn’t need to know that.)
Dawn clapped her hands and lunged forward, grabbing Xander’s neck from the back seat. The impulsive gesture caused the car to swerve dangerously. “Dawn!” Willow shouted. “We want Xander to live to see his wedding. A car crash would really be not of the good for that.”
The teenager slouched back in her seat. “Sorry.” Then she bounced up again, too psyched to stay still. “This is so cool. Buffy and Angel get themselves together at the same time as you and Anya. The only thing that could be better would be a double wedding.” She stopped to consider. “Is it possible for vampires to get married?”
Xander’s face broke out into a wide grin. “So Deadboy decided to take his own advice, huh? Good for him. Wasn’t sure he’d go through with it.”
Willow glanced at the brunette in the driver’s seat. “What do you mean? I thought you’d be really upset about Buffy getting back with Angel.”
Xander shrugged as he paused at a stoplight. “Me and Deadboy had a little man-to-vampire chat last night about our respective exes. He gave me the idea to go hash things out with Miss Vengeance Demon, class of 900. I told him to try again with Buffy seeing as they had similar problems. Glad to see things worked out for him.”
“I think he still has to figure out a way to be with Buffy and carry on in L.A. first. Not to mention dealing with Spike,” Dawn muttered.
Xander chuckled at that last statement. “Yeah, Nacho Boy ain’t gonna be too pleased that Angel came back and robbed him of any chance with Buffy. I’d love to see his face when he finds out.”
“He already found out. He showed up this morning--ow!” Dawn jumped as Willow pinched her on the thigh.
Xander craned his neck behind to stare at the teenager. “Spike showed up and ow? What happen, did Buffy hit him again?”
“Something like that,” Willow cut in while directing a meaningful look at Dawn. She didn’t want the teenager tattling to Xander about the exact nature of the three-way conversation they’d unwittingly overheard. That was for Buffy and Angel to do.
The subjects of their concern were rapidly moving through the tunnel. Buffy had picked up a discarded flashlight from the basement to light their way. After dispatching the Glarghk, Angel had decided to accompany her to confront Spike. He didn’t want to stop her from killing Spike, oh no. He just wanted the privilege of kicking Spike’s pale ass around the place first.
The Slayer and vampire met an obstacle, however, when they came to a fork in the tunnels. Watching Angel’s head bob back and forth between them, Buffy found herself envying his keen vampiric senses. “So which way, Sergeant McGruff?” At his blank look, she explained, “Cartoon TV dog in a detective coat. Warns kids to stay clear of bullies and drug dealers.”
“Right.” He shrugged off his bafflement and stepped back in frustration. “I’m not sure. His scent is equally strong in both directions.”
“Fine. I go right, you go left. We’ll meet back at the house.” She pulled away slowly. One short hour with Angel and she felt as if all the torn edges of her soul were knitting together again. She was oddly terrified of losing their newly regained closeness.
Angel knew what was going through her mind. He spoke softly, putting every bit of feeling for her into his words. “It’s all right, Buffy. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
She flashed him a 24-carat smile and he swore his undead heart lurched in his chest. “I’m holding you to that, lover.”
Somehow he found himself standing close to her. He couldn’t recall having moved. But there she was, her diminutive frame poised just in front of his taller one. Her face was tilted up to his. In spite of the flash, it was dark in the passage but still he could make out her soft hazel eyes glowing at him.
Then his lips were pressed over hers. He’d meant the kiss to be tender and reassuring but it wouldn’t remain that way. She arched up against his body, her hands grasping at his shoulders. She clutched him hard, in a way that would have left bruising marks on another man, and he found himself cupping her tiny ass in his hands. He caught her up in his arms and slammed her against the tunnel wall. She cried out as she wound her legs around his waist and he stopped in consternation. “Buffy? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head hard. “No! But I-I think…we’d better stop, Angel.” Her breath was coming hard and he could smell the beginnings of arousal seeping from between her thighs. He wanted to keep those firm little legs wrapped around his ass and bury himself inside her. Feeling his emotions careen from concern to lust in ten seconds flat caused him to take a firm grip on himself. Damn, he’d sworn he wouldn’t do this.
Gritting his teeth, he agonizingly extricated himself from her embrace. “Y-you’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this. We should…”
“--Remove the temptation. Gotcha.” She snatched up the flashlight from where she’d dropped it and ran down the right corridor as if her life depended on it.
“Remove the temptation.” For a moment, the words hung eerily in the air, reminding him of another time when he’d lost his mind and screwed her on a kitchen table. He squeezed his eyes shut and took unneeded deep breaths as he strove to stifle the urge to run after her down that passage.
Buffy wanted nothing more than to turn back and finish what they’d started. But having sex in a tunnel wasn’t really a good idea. Any vampire could come across them and take them by surprise.
What are you talking about? According to Angel, only Spike ever uses this tunnel and would you mind his seeing you? Hell yes! Then again, maybe not. If anything would convince Spike that it was over between them, it would be seeing her fucking Angel like an animal and screaming his name while her fingers traced that tattoo.
The raunchiness of the thought shocked her for a moment. Then the idea of screwing Angel into the ground re-asserted itself. With a naughty little smirk, she continued on her jaunt to find Spike. Maybe she wouldn’t kill him. Maybe she’d just let him get a good whiff of Angel’s body all over her own.
Angel followed his grandchilde’s steadily stronger odor and found himself going up a tall ladder. Bracing himself for anything, he cautiously lifted up a trapdoor into what appeared to be another basement.
The souled vampire wandered around, sniffing intently. Yes, Spike’s distinctive aroma was here but it was overlaid with the odors of various herbs and spices. Wondering if he’s stumbled into someone’s kitchen storage area, he tensed as a woman with obviously dyed blonde hair came bounding into sight.
“Now where’d I put that--hey! Who are you and what you doing in my shop?” She glared at him and snatched up a glass jar of wormwood, obviously prepared to throw it at him.
He cast up his hands in a placating gesture. “Relax. I’m not here to steal. I’m Angel. I was just investigating a possible break-in.” Okay, that was a touch feeble but it was the truth.
Before he could elaborate, the woman set down the jar with a thunk. “Oh, I remember you! I saw you that Thanksgiving you snuck back into Sunnydale to help with those Shumash Indian spirits. Oh my god. I’m so glad to see you!” She ran up to him and flung her arms around his neck and began planting breathless kisses all over his face.
“Whoa! Uh, glad to see you too.” Now that she was closer, Angel recalled this woman, too. This was Anya, Xander’s ex-demon girlfriend. But why was she sticking to him like wallpaper in a blatant but misplaced show of affection?”
“Xander came to me last night. He told me all about your little talk with him and how you made him come back to me. Are you together with Buffy again? And, by that I mean, have you had sex with her? No, I guess not because then you’d be Angelus and you’re not, otherwise the killing would have started by now. Wow, I remember you were of the tall, dark, handsome and sexy variety but I forgot how hot you are--even more so than Xander. Don’t tell him I said that, though. Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you for bringing me my Xander back!” With that she began kissing him again.
“You’re--welcome.” Angel removed her arms from his neck with some difficulty. Gee, this woman was really enthusiastic and straightforward in her comments. He could see why Xander had fallen for her. She was like a more manic version of Cordelia.
She pulled back to look at him and then recalled his previous words. “Wait a sec. Did you say something earlier about a break-in? Have I been robbed?”
“I’m not sure but I think so.” He outlined the day’s events Xander didn’t know about, starting with the early morning confrontation with Spike and moving to the hidden tunnel in Buffy’s house and concluding with tracking Spike’s scent to her shop.
“So you think Spike’s been coming and going in my store through this tunnel? Why? And why haven’t I seen it?”
Angel’s answer was blunt. “Knowing Spike, he’s probably been stealing from you. He was certainly stealing things from Buffy.”
Anya gaped. Then her expression grew murderous. “I knew it! I knew something was wrong.” She scrabbled among some haphazardly piled boxes. “I was accusing our suppliers of shortchanging us or I thought that rats were getting into the goods. But I’ve been constantly running out on some low-end items and I didn’t know why.” She pulled up a box and shook it. He heard the meager contents rattling like peas and she gripped the container in a fury.
Angel read the box with justifiable confusion. “Bulghur wheat? What would Spike want with that?”
“Giles used to complain how Spike would only take his blood if it had Weetabix sprinkled on top. Guess he found a more elegant substitute.” She threw the almost emptied box into a corner and began stalking up and down the tiny space. “That asshole! That rotten little sneak thief! If the rules didn’t prevent me, I’d take such vengeance on his miserable hide.”
Vengeance? Oh right, Xander had said she was an ex-demon. But she was talking as if she still possessed her powers. Suspicious, Angel concentrated on her, honing the powers that Darla had painstakingly striven to teach him over two centuries ago. The same talent that had enabled him to pick up on Dru’s untapped potential as a seer as well as her virginity allowed him to see past Anya’s human veneer. “You’re a demon.”
The quiet words drew her up short and she paled. “What? No, no, I’m not. What gave you that idea? Just because I was babbling about vengeance doesn’t mean I’m a demon. It was just an old knee-jerk reaction to a pitiful shit I’d like to see hung up by his toenails. Hahahahahahaha!”
“Anya, I know these things. You can’t fool me,” was his calm reply.
Her face crumpled. “Don’t tell Xander, please? I-I don’t think he’d handle it well if he knew I was into vengeance again. We just started having sex again and our relationship simply couldn’t take that kind of strain.”
He blinked at her choice of words then gave her a soothing smile. “I won’t tell him, Anya. But he’s bound to find out sooner or later and the idea that you’ve gone back to killing people won’t sit well with him. Remember how worried you were a moment ago that I might be Angelus and not Angel?”
“Oh yes, but that’s different. Angelus had a habit of going after Buffy’s friends and acquaintances. I’m only killing strangers--nobody Buffy or Xander knows.” At his incredulous stare, she weakly murmured, “I guess that wouldn’t make any difference to him if he knew, huh?”
“Very little, if I know Harris,” was the dry rejoinder.
She appeared to undergo an inner struggle and when she spoke again, it was with a new resolve. “Fine. I’ll give up vengeance--but only after one final wish,” glaring at the castoff box of bulghur wheat. “Just to go out in a blaze of glory. And it doesn’t even have to be a human!” she finished desperately.
Angel raised an eyebrow. “Did you have someone specific in mind?” he smirked.
She gazed at him expectantly. When he remained silent, she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You have to make a wish, dumbass. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.”
Dumbass? Oh yeah, that’s Cordelia all over again. “Oh me? Um, I’m not sure what to wish for.”
“Since Spike is probably going to be hanging around bothering you and Buffy, you could wish to have him flayed. Or have his intestines dragged out through his nose. Or have his entire body burst into flames. Or have him turned inside out or eviscerated. Or…”
“Right, I think I get the picture,” Angel interjected. And he’d thought Angelus was a twisted, sadistic example of demonhood. It was true that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. “How about I simply wish that he not interfere in my life, Buffy’s and the lives of the rest of her gang?”
Anya scowled. “That’s really mild. This is what I get from the Scourge of Europe?”
“Former Scourge of Europe,” Angel corrected.
“Whatever.” She waved her hands dismissively. So the wish was on the tame side. She was known among Vengeance demons both for her cruelty and her inventiveness. She’d find some way to twist this wish to her advantage. Spike would pay dearly for stealing from her and the seeds of an idea were forming in her mind.
__________
Buffy came up through the small hole into an enclosure she knew all too well. This was Spike’s basement. This was where she’d found the head and torso mannequin he’d outfitted with a blonde wig and her favorite blue sweater. He’d turned it into a kind of shrine with articles of her underwear and those stolen baby pictures. She shuddered and looked around her a bit more.
He’d tidied it up quite a bit with items he’d found in the city dump. There were some mismatched throw rugs, a battered ornate lamp or two--even a small sofa. Surprisingly, there were also a fair amount of books neatly lined up in a couple of discarded bookshelves against the wall.
She rose up through to the upper space, her entire body on alert. But there was no sign of him. Evidently, he hadn’t gotten in from his ejection at her place. The tunnel must be a faster route than the sewers.
She was tempted to sit down and wait but concluded she’d wasted enough of her time with Spike. If she hurried, she could make it back home, change her clothes and get a later shift at the Doublemeat Palace. The tunnel wasn’t going anywhere and neither was Spike, considering how much time and effort he’d put into making the place so homey. She could deal with him later. Turning on her heel, she pondered on whether she could get Xander to come fill up Spike’s pathway to her house with a stout brick wall.
She grinned to herself. That’s right; a Slayer with friends was a force to be reckoned with.
Willow had met up with Tara at school and explained all about Buffy’s and Angel’s renewed romance and the need to bind Angel’s demon. Tara thought the spell could be easily done. She was profoundly moved, both by Willow’s refusal to perform the ritual herself and her implicit belief that Tara was up for the task. She thought there was hope for Willow yet.
While they set up the articles for the ritual at Buffy’s house, Anya was laying her own plans. The dyed vampire had come into the Magic Box, pissed and suffering at Buffy’s rejection of him. “Hey, I need a thing.”
She plastered a big fake smile on her face. “So. What’s your pleasure?”
Spike sighed. “Fresh out of pleasure. That’s why I’m here. I need something. Numbing spell maybe. Got something that’ll dull the ache a bit?”
Ah. He was talking about getting the big dump from Buffy. She nodded and walked back behind the counter. “Actually, yes. Giles left a couple of supplies here, and I think…this might help.” She bent over and began rummaging in the cabinet under the cash register while continuing to mutter under her breath. “Eases the hurt, makes the sun shine a little brighter…even makes boring people seem more interesting. Ah here.” She produced a bottle of whiskey and put it down on the counter with a solid thud.
Spike grinned. Oh yeah, that was the stuff.
__________
“So the de-invite’s been put up?” Buffy asked.
Tara was decisive in her reply. “Yep. Spike can’t get in here now even through that tunnel.” She smiled at the others and then went upstairs to prepare the space.
Xander snorted. “That’s good. If you’re casting the magic mojo to tie down Angel’s soul, the last thing we’d want is an interruption from that loser of the hair dye brigade.”
The Slayer grinned at Xander’s description. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed this; all of them banding together against a common foe--well, a common annoyance, anyway. She’d been shutting her friends out too much lately. She’d have to see about fixing that.
“Xander, you remember what I told you about the tunnels?”
The brunette nodded while hefting a hammer from his tool belt. “Yes, ma’am. Tomorrow morning I’ll schedule a couple of crews to get down there and set up walls four feet thick with fast-drying cement. I’ll tell them it’s to prevent water leakage.”
“Maybe we can find a way to keep him from the Magic Box as well. I noticed that the space there is too large to be filled up with any wall. I’d like Anya to feel some peace of mind.” This thoughtful comment came from Angel.
Xander glanced at the vampire, eyebrows raised. “Wow, sounds like you and Anya really hit it off.”
Angel’s return look was a studied attempt at innocence. “What can I say, Harris? The woman’s got a thing for brunettes.”
The other man hotly retorted, “Don’t get any ideas, Angel. She’s a one-man woman.”
“Can’t fault her tastes, though,” Buffy quipped then winked at Angel. Dawn was delighted. Her sister looked more animated and livelier than she had in months. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Buffy look happy.
And that’s what having Angel around does for her. I wonder what it’ll be like having him as a brother-in-law?
The giddy notion caused Dawn’s mind to race as she considered the possibilities. Spike had taught her things like gin rummy and how to pick locks. But Angel had helped her with her history lessons, listened patiently to her woes and treated her problems as if they were important not stupid kid stuff.
One of the reasons she’d clung to Spike was that he reminded her a little of Angel. But none of those memories were real. Now she could make new actual memories with Angel and she couldn’t wait.
“Well, if you two are finished discussing my girlfriend, I’m going home to set up the house for her. I plan on getting lucky tonight.” Xander picked up his coat and headed for the door.
Buffy smiled in Angel’s direction. “Maybe we both will.” Seeing the look of shock on Angel’s face, she giggled and ran upstairs to join Tara. Her sister raced up to join her.
Dawn avidly watched as Tara set up the enchanted circle around Buffy and Angel in her sister’s bedroom. The blonde wiccan turned to her and said, “Dawn, you’ll have to go.”
“No fair! Why do I have to leave just when things are getting interesting?” she whined.
The wiccan pushed her firmly out the door. “The spell requires the presence of the two to be joined and the spellcaster only. Any other person’s energy would confuse the elements called upon.”
“Okay, fine,” Dawn groused as the door was shut in her face. She stomped downstairs into the yard and peered up at Buffy’s bedroom window. As if anticipating this move, the curtains were drawn. All she could see now were vague shadows created by candlelight.
“Fine. Be that way,” she muttered. She picked up some loose stones and began viciously throwing them about the darkened lawn. It was dangerous for her to be out at night but she was feeling rebellious. Besides, there was a Slayer, wiccan and Master vampire within shouting range. Where was the danger?
She threw one rock extra hard and was surprised to hear a sharp cracking noise. Moving over to a nearby tree, she peered in surprise at the wreckage. It looked like she’d hit one of those tacky garden gnomes some people bought as ornaments for their yards.
But Mom always hated those. Where did this ugly thing come from?
Looking closer, her eyes widened as she caught sight of something within the debris.
“Willow, you won’t believe what I found!” she crowed as she ran into the house.
“Sshh! Dawn, keep it down.” Willow pointed in emphasis to the upper rooms. The teenager could hear Tara’s voice rising and falling in a steady cadence. Immediately she lowered her voice.
“I found this inside a garden gnome outside on the lawn.”
Willow’s face was eloquent in its bafflement. “Garden gnome? We don’t have those. I always thought them kinda creepy.”
“I know. I think this guy was planted to hide this.” She held out her find to Willow and the redhead’s eyes widened.
Dawn was sure she knew what this gizmo was. “It’s a camera, isn’t it? One of those mini spy cams you see in the movies?”
Willow nodded while turning the device over in her hands. “Looks like it to me.”
“So someone’s been spying on Buffy? Anybody want to bet that it’s Spike?” Dawn frowned at the device and wondered if she should warn Buffy about this. No, her sister was in the midst of the ritual; she couldn’t be disturbed.
“I don’t think so, Dawnie. This is too high-tech for Spike. He prefers the old-fashioned methods of stalking, lurking, looking through other people’s windows and creeping through the bushes. It’s cheaper and much more creature-of-the-nighty behavior than playing I Spy.”
Dawn was forced to agree. “So--if it isn’t Spike, then who could it be?” They exchanged looks and got their second brilliant flash of the day. “The Nerd Herd!”
“Of course!” Willow enthused. “This is exactly the sort of geeky techno bushwa those guys would go in for.” She raced for her laptop and began keying in certain commands while fiddling with the camera. “Dawn, I think Xander may have left some fiber-optics wire around the last time he was setting up our computer.”
“I’m on it.”
Several moments later, the table was strewn with brightly colored wires attached to the camera. The op cop computer had been jury-rigged alongside the contraption. “Should have something once I get tapped into the fiber-optic network. We’re gonna use the feedback relay to get their system routed into our system.” She glanced apologetically at Dawn. “This could take awhile.”
The teenager shrugged, her eyes glued to the computer screen. “I can wait. This is way better than geography homework.”
__________
Anya smiled tightly at Spike but she was hard-put to hold onto her patience--and her interest. The drug she’d put in the whiskey was intended specifically for vampires but maybe the alcohol was slowing the effects. Spike had consumed two-thirds of the bottle’s contents while rambling on incoherently about Buffy but he still showed no signs of passing out.
He cupped her face and muttered drunken nothings about how much he admired her. “I was always going above and beyond. I saved the Scoobies how many times? And I can’t stand the lot of you!”
She faked an unhappy pout. “Really?”
He hastened to cover himself. “Not you, luv. You’re the only one of them I wouldn’t bite if I had the chance. I have nothing but respect for a woman who is forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn’t have a single buggering clue about what was going on in front of her, but she was straight about it. That’s a virtue.”
He smiled up at her, blinking almost sleepily. When he started kissing her, it was all she could do to respond with any kind of enthusiasm.
Ick. He tastes of booze and cigarettes. Concentrate. Just close your eyes and think of Xander--and that stolen bulghur wheat. The thought of the purloined goods spurred her on to grab Spike.
He mistook her aggression for ardor and returned the favor with interest. “You know I’m only doing this because I’m lonely and drunk and you…smell really good,” she finished in a lame attempt at a compliment.
“He pulled back to smirk at her. “See. Forthright.” He started pushing piles of stuff off the table onto the floor and she wanted to yell at him for his callous disregard for her merchandise. That’s right. My merchandise, my store. First he steals, now this. You are going to pay, mister.
But her indignation became consternation as he began pulling jerkily at his clothes and trying to push her onto the table. This was taking vengeance too far. She was going to have to cut this short, drugs or no drugs.
__________
Back at the Summers home, Willow gazed at her screen in growing frustration. “Darn. The technology’s pretty sophisticated, lots of booby traps and firewall stuff.”
Dawn peered over her shoulder at the screen showing concentric white circles on a dark background. “But can you get a location?”
Willow tapped at more keys. “Hang on a sec.” She peered at the windows opening up. “There are more cameras.”
“More than one?”
“Yep.” She brought up several images and the two girls sat back, stunned. “Oh my god. The Doublemeat Palace? The Bronze?” Willow gasped as she recognized another image. “My classes at UC Sunnydale! And I think that’s one of Xander’s construction sites.”
“How many are there?”
“More,” she replied in a grim tone. “A lot more. I’m just having a harder time pinpointing them.”
At that exact moment, a red light coupled with an alarm began flashing at the Trio’s secret headquarters. “Ack!” Warren yelled as he raced with the others to their computers. “Shut it down! Shut it all down!”
Andrew fumbled at his computer. “I’m trying, I can’t find…” he whined.
Jonathan hissed at him. “Here, dorkface,” as he reached towards Andrew’s computer keyboard.
“I’ll get it myself,” he retorted.
Warren snapped at the pair of them. Honestly, they were like children sometimes. “Guys, we have to…oh holy crap.”
The three would-be supervillains froze staring at the scene unfolding on the screen.
__________
Willow shook her head. “Drat. I think I must have tripped some internal sensor. The feeds are shutting down. Wait. There’s one still up.” Then she gaped in horror.
Dawn looked over her shoulder to see what had caught her attention. “Oh, wow. Is-is that Spike and--Anya?!?” Dawn squeaked.
Willow tried to cover the teenager’s eyes but Dawn batted her hand away. “Oh no. What is she doing? I thought Xander said she was back with him?”
“Guess she decided to take a whirl on the Spike machine just for kicks,” Dawn mumbled. She couldn’t believe it. What was Anya thinking? All at once, she was glad that Xander had gone home. She didn’t know what he would have done if he had seen this.
“Hey, guys. Whacha lookin’ at?” Willow and Dawn jumped guiltily as Buffy’s voice came from the stairs. Noting their expressions she raised her eyebrows. “What? You guys looking at a porn site or something?”
“Might as well be.” Dawn pointed at the screen.
Buffy and Angel leaned over and stared in amazement at the scene unfolding before them. Spike was wrestling in a clumsy manner with a half-undressed Anya atop the Magic Box table and it was clear what they were doing. “Oh no. Poor Xander,” Buffy whispered.
Angel was bewildered. The woman he’d seen this morning had been ecstatic about being with Xander again. Why would she do this?
The vampire cocked his head at the screen and then looked at all the wires littering the table. “Willow, what is all this? How did you get this picture?”
She jerked her head away from the antics portrayed on the monitor. “Oh, that. Dawnie was fooling around outside and she found this camera hidden in a garden gnome and first we thought that Spike was responsible but now we believe it’s the geek squad who’s been bothering Buffy and I think we were right because we found all these hidden cams set all over the place…and then we saw this.”
Buffy was barely able to keep up with this rapid sputtering. But at least it was a distraction from what was happening at the Magic Box. Then her eyes narrowed as she considered something. “So they’ve been spying on me, huh? And can you trace the signal back to where it came from?”
Willow tapped the keyboard in frustration. “I tried. But I must have tripped some alarm because all the feeds started shutting down.”
Angel gestured at the screen. “So how come this one is still up?” They all looked at each other as light bulbs went on simultaneously.
“They’re watching this,” Buffy breathed.
“Of course, they’d have to be! We’re talking about adolescent boys who never got laid. This would be like free porn to them! They’d think this was really hot stuff.” Willow crowed. Then she blushed beet red as the others stared. “I mean…nerds.”
Angel nodded sharply. “Willow, start tracing this feed back to the source. When you got it, Buffy and I can track these guys down.”
Buffy smirked at him. “You and me? I don’t think that’s necessary, Angel. We’re talking three jerks and their fancy toys. Just how dangerous can they get?”
“These three jerks are the ones who set that Glarghk Guhl Kashmak Nik demon on you. I don’t think it would be a good idea to underestimate them.”
She glared at him while he met her gaze calmly. Then she sighed. “Okay. Willow, you do the tracking thing.” She glanced at the screen and frowned. “Uh, people? Where’d they go?”
The others directed their attention back to the Magic Shop window. The couple in the Magic Box was gone.
__________
“Damn! What happened!” Warren yelled.
“I don’t get it,” Andrew said. “One minute that Spike is going like Superman on top of Lois Lane, the next he just slumps off the table.”
Warren swiveled the camera where it was hidden inside of skull around the Magic Box. Anya had heaved Spike up, grumbling all the time about his weight, while simultaneously trying to re-arrange her clothes. Then she had staggered with him out the door, closed up shop and hadn’t returned. He slapped the keyboard in frustration.
Jonathan’s head jerked up. “Hey, guys? When did the alarm stop going off?” The others glanced around. They had been so absorbed in the hot sex they’d been sure was in the making that they hadn’t noticed the eerie silence. Warren glanced at his computer again and belatedly shut down the Magic Box feed.
“Do you think they traced us?” Andrew mumbled.
“I’m not sure,” Warren replied as he fiddled with his motherboard. Damn, they had way too much stuff here simply to pack up and go in a hurry. But it might have to be done. “We shouldn’t take any chances though. Pick up all the major talismans, charms, tech equipment and the maps and get ready to move out.”
“Are you sure? They were going to show that Xena Warrior Princess episode tonight--you know, the one where she and Gabrielle are in that Norse myth fantasy and she kisses her right on--”
“We can order it on DVD! Now pick up your shit, Andrew, and move your ass!” Warren snapped. The boys jumped to gather their various pieces of equipment when a smooth voice coming from the doorway interrupted them.
Buffy threw the Trio a sweet smile. “Hello, boys. Somebody call for the movers?”
__________
Anya was pissed as she hurried Spike along. Thanks to the drugs in his system, he was moving, albeit sluggishly, and obeying her commands. But his mind kept wandering and he would either break into song or try to grope clumsily at her breasts.
She wished that it were possible simply to teleport him to his crypt but her powers didn’t work that way. She couldn’t transport anybody with her when she teleported, unfortunately. So she had to settle for walking. Well, staggering in this case.
“God, why would anybody want to live in a graveyard anyway? You don’t hang out with other vampires; you could squat in an abandoned building somewhere. But, oh no, Mr. Big Bad has to maintain his silly image.” She finally managed to wrest the crypt door open and half-dragged, half-pulled his sorry butt inside the edifice.
He staggered and fell onto the floor, giggling like a loon. “‘S not an image. Images are for posers. I’m the real deal.”
“Sure you are.” She squinted into the darkened depths of the crypt, wondering when her surprise “guest” was going to make his appearance.
“Too straight. I’m the Big…Bad.” He hiccuped and tried staggering to his feet again.
“Well, let’s see how bad you are after he gets through with you.”
Something about Anya’s tone finally broke through Spike’s muddled brain. She wasn’t maudlin, flattering and sympathetic like she’d been earlier. There was an icy menace in her voice and her eyes were cold and unfriendly. After glaring at him, she glanced away and then straightened as her friend showed up.
Spike turned his bleary eyes towards her. “Wh--whassat? Wha’s goin’ on?”
Anya didn’t bother answering him as the Glarghk Guhl Kashmak Nik came charging out of the depths. The beast wasn’t the same as the one Buffy had killed, of course. But Anya was easily able to find another, thanks to her contacts in the demon world. And what was sauce for the goose was definitely sauce for the gander.
If Spike had been more alert, he might have been able to fight the creature handily. But he had almost a full bottle of whiskey in his system and the drugs Anya had doped him with had taken full effect. He never even saw the monster before the demon jabbed him in neck with his stinger.
“OOOOWWWWW! SHIT!” Spike screamed and then completely collapsed on the ground.
Anya smiled cruelly at his motionless body. “That’s what you get for stealing from me.” She backed away as the Glarghk Guhl Kashmak Nik advanced on her. She wasn’t worried; she was a powerful demon herself, easily able to outmaneuver the thing. It would probably make its way into the sewers or the woods after leaving Spike’s crypt.
Mentally, she made a note to have Buffy come and kill it if she wanted. No point in having that beast wandering around. She didn’t want to take the chance of a crazed Slayer killing her dear Xander now that they were a couple again.
Without sparing another glance at the now-whimpering member of the undead, she swung open the crypt door and took a deep breath of the night air. Ah, life was good. And if Xander was up waiting for her, it was going to get even better. She gave a huge grin and teleported to Xander’s apartment complex.
__________
“So, Buffy, how did things go with the meek little geeks?” Willow and Dawn sat on Buffy’s bed while she regaled them with the tale of how she’d defeated Warren and his crew.
“They tried going for some weapons, but I was too fast for them. I punched out Warren because I figured he was the greater threat. Then I knocked the other two guys’s heads together like coconuts. I dumped them outside for Angel to watch over and then I called the police.”
Dawn asked, “What did you tell them?”
Buffy smirked to the others. “I told them there was a group of criminals who’d been spying on people. I think that counts as illegal trespass although they didn’t do it at any private residences so they might not get it to stick. But they had maps and detailed plans of all the crimes they were going to commit as well as that diamond heist they pulled. I figure that’s enough to nail them to the wall.
“When I came out again, they’d all come to and Angel was standing over them with his gameface on. I don’t know what he said to them but they were practically wetting themselves. They had on blubbery faces and said they’d confess about Katrina if only he wouldn’t hurt them. It was so cool. I haven’t seen Angel threaten anybody in ages. I think he really enjoyed himself. The police showed up soon after that and Angel and I skedaddled so we wouldn’t have to answer awkwardy questions.”
“Where’s Angel now? I thought you guys did the spell. Don’t you want to try boinking now?”
Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Angel’s at the mansion at Crawford Street. He has to call the people back in LA. He’s been here way longer than they thought he would. So he’s being all of the reassuring and letting them know that he’s going to be coming back to wrap things up--only he’s going to be making a life for himself here in Sunnydale, too.”
Dawn grinned, “That is so great. So when are you two going to boink? I’d have thought after all this time, you’d be getting on with it.”
“If we do ‘get on with it’ as you put it, Dawn, we’re not going to be telling you. That’s--”
“I know, I know. None of my business. I’m not a kid anymore, Buffy. It’s not like I couldn’t figure up what you were doing with Riley all those times you sent me over to Xander and Anya’s place.” Her brows wrinkled up as she recalled those two. “Where do you think Anya is now? I mean, she and Spike disappeared together. Do you think they’re having sex somewhere else?”
“Maybe they decided to go someplace more comfortable,” Willow ventured.
“Naw. Spike wasn’t one to care about comfort when he was--” Buffy stopped talking abruptly when she realized what she was about to say.
Willow bit her lip before saying what was on her mind. “Buffy? D-do you want to talk about it? Because Dawnie and me…we don’t really understand.”
Buffy so didn’t want to have this conversation. Not now and maybe not ever. But her little sister and her best friend were staring at her with reproachful and baffled stares. “Guys…I don’t really know what to tell you. Spike found out he could hit me and told me I came back wrong.”
Willow’s eyes widened and she instinctively reached out to grasp Buffy’s hand. “Wrong? What did he mean?”
“I don’t know. But he kept going on about how you all wouldn’t understand what was happening to me and he seemed the only one to get my situation. I was feeling so dead inside like I was dying a little more every day. Being…with him made the creepy numbness go away. But it didn’t really help and I-I had to stop. I told him it was killing me and that I couldn’t love him. So I ended it.”
“How long was it going on?” Dawn didn’t mean to sound so harsh but she couldn’t keep the accusing note out of her voice.
Buffy cast her mind back while avoiding Dawn’s stare. “Just about three months.”
Dawn couldn’t believe it. Three months? Buffy had been screwing Spike three months and she hadn’t guessed. None of them had. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
The look of shock from her sister told her everything. “Would you have really wanted to hear all that, Dawn? How awful I felt being back here? How everything felt harsh and loud and ugly? I felt resentment because you were keeping me stuck in this world and then guilt for feeling the resentment and then resentment for feeling the guilt. Welcome to the Buffyworld of rollercoaster emotions.”
Dawn swallowed. “Me? You think I was keeping you here?”
“I don’t mean to blame you, Dawn. But every time I tried dealing with a problem, you were making some demand, getting into trouble or throwing a tantrum. You lied to me about going out on Halloween, you were stealing, I tried explaining to you about Katrina and you twisted it into being about you. And let’s not get into the birthday fiasco. That’s two of my birthdays you spoiled in a row. I’m really hoping you don’t make a habit of it.” Buffy smiled at Dawn in an attempt to soften the criticism.
“Well, you should have told me about my being a Key.”
“Right. Because telling you you weren’t real would have gone down real well. As I recall, you slit your wrists and pulled one of your Screaming Mimi acts when you did find out. So I was of the right in not telling you.”
“Well, keeping secrets doesn’t work too well, does it?” Dawn tartly replied.
“Not with a little snoop like you around, no.” Buffy shot back. She rose and began pointedly preparing ready for bed. “Now I think if the ‘Judging of Buffy’ show is over, I’d like to get some sleep. I was a little low on it last night thanks to the Glarghk whatsis. Good night.”
Willow jumped up and caught at her arm. “Buffy, we’re not judgy. Only--won’t you please tell us what’s happening in the future? I’m so sorry you felt this way and I know it’s my fault. There probably wasn’t anything I could have done to fix this but I still would have wanted to know.”
“So you could--what? Blame yourself like you’re doing now? That’s exactly why I was in non-share mode, Willow. I dumped on Spike because I didn’t care how he felt about my pain. I didn’t care about his either. I used him and that was wrong. But it was better than hurting my friends.”
The redhead thought this over. It made a twisty kind of sense. She still cringed when she thought of Buffy doing anything with Spike like what she’d seen on the camera in the Magic Box. But Buffy was trying to protect them just like she always did. She smiled uncertainly at the small blonde woman when she realized this.
“Okay, Buffy. But you don’t have to shield us from things. We’ve been through some really tough times together. We’re strong. We can take it.”
“Yeah. Hey, speaking of Spike again, where do you think he and Anya went?”
Buffy gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know and it’s not something we should interfere with. We could wind up wrecking things between Anya and Xander. Since Anya doesn’t like to keep her mouth shut, she’ll probably spill the beans about it to us anyway.”
“Right, it’s not like she can keep her mouth shut about sex, anyway.” Dawn noticed their uncomfortable looks. “What? I’m just saying.”
__________
Spike stirred and opened his eyes blearily. What the fuck had happened? His memory was decidedly fuzzy and he didn’t get what was g ong on. Where was he?
“Oh, look. I think he’s coming to.”
“William? Are you all right, my darling?” Damn, that voice. It was a woman’s voice, not Buffy’s, but somehow familiar. He shook his head and almost instantly regretted it. Nausea welled up in his throat and he dropped his head towards the floor, vomiting up the contents of his stomach on the rug.
“Oh, my goodness,” one woman said in clear distaste.
“Told you a bucket should have been procured. I could tell he was unwell judging by that green color around his gills,” someone else muttered.
“Quick, fetch one of the servants to clean this before it stains!”
Servants? What the fuck was going on? He raised his head with difficulty and stared at the people around him.
Bleedin’ hell. He knew this lot. They were his old friends and comrades from England. Well, not friends, exactly, after the awful things they’d said about his poetry. But there they all were, staring at him in various stages of shock and concern.
“I say, old man, are you feeling better? Would you like a bromo or something of that sort?” That was Oscar Willertson. He was kneeling by Spike’s side, careful to avoid the puke on the floor.
He shoved the man aside roughly. “No, I don’t want a soddin’ bromo. What are you wankers doing here? For that matter where’s ‘ere?”
A woman in a pale dress came into view, her dark eyes resting on his face. “William, why are you talking in that strange fashion? Don’t you know where you are?”
“No, I bloody…” His voice trailed away as his eyes lit on her. Cecily. It was Cecily looking exactly as she did at that fateful party where she had rejected him over a century ago.
He started up and stared about him wildly. It was the same party. Here were a few of the people who’d made him feel like the complete prat after one of his poems had been read aloud. They’d all laughed at him except for Cecily. No, she’d done far worse. She’d humiliated him and rejected his proposal of marriage.
This wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t William the Bloody Awful Poet any longer. He was William the Bloody, terror of the demon world and humans alike. Well, he was before he got this chip implanted. But this wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.
He tried figuring out what was happening to him, why he was here in this place. Was it a time travelling spell? Yeah, that had to be it. But, except for the odd concern about his health, no one seemed to think anything about him was out of the ordinary. Shouldn’t they be commenting on his hair, his clothes…?
He glanced down at himself and his eyes widened. He wasn’t dressed in his usual black-on-black gear. He had on the beige suit he’d been wearing the night Drusilla had met him in the alley. “Shit. What am I wearing? What is this crap?”
“Goodness gracious! Such language! Cecily, did he perhaps hit his head when he fell, do you think?” one of the other men asked.
“Mirror,” he croaked. He staggered upright and the others backed away to give him room. “I-I need to see a mirror.”
Someone--Algernon Masters, if he remembered correctly--replied, “Well, there’s one in the drawing room. But why on earth do you need a mirror?”
The question went unanswered as he wobbled uncertainly in the direction of the drawing room. He found the long oval mirror that stood upright in its posts and stared aghast at the sight that greeted him.
There it was--his reflection, as he hadn’t seen it in over 120 years. He reached out tentatively to stroke the surface and the bespectacled sandy blonde in the shiny surface copied the movement. He drew a deep breath to steady himself. Then he blinked and breathed again. And again.
He needed to breathe. He tried holding his breath and shortly felt the blood beating in his ears and the nausea returning as he grew lightheaded and dizzy. He placed his hand on his chest over his undead heart and felt it throbbing under his hand.
Shit. He had a heartbeat and breath. He was human again. Human after 120 years as a dead thing. His mind whirled with the thought as he continued sightlessly gazing at the mirror. The next moment, Cecily joined him as she came to stand behind him.
“William, I fear you’re not quite well. Unless this fascination with your appearance is revealing a vanity of which I’m heretofore unaware.” She simpered in a truly sickening fashion and he tamped down the urge to smack her.
“I have to get out of here. Something’s off.”
She gasped in alarm as she threw her arms around him. “William, sweet William. You shouldn’t move about too quickly. You’re liable to be ill again and I’ll start to think you regretted your proposal.” She finished this sentence in an arch manner, casting her eyes down and glancing up at him through the lashes.
“Proposal? You mean the proposal you rejected?” His voice was harsh in its accusation. Part of him was scolding him for indulging in this fantasy, spell or whatever it was. But, in spite of over a century of bloodshed and mayhem, the wounded sensitive poet in him that had never really died relished the chance to attack this girl for her cruelty.
Her luminous eyes widened as she stared at him in disbelief. “Rejected? William, you’re delirious. I accepted your proposal. You were so ecstatic at my acquiescence that you kissed me. And then you fainted.”
“Fainted?!? That’s tosh, woman, I’ve never fainted in my life.” Spike drew himself out of her embrace. He had to get away from her, get away from all these people. Someone had done this to him and whoever it was would pay. No one screwed with William the Bloody and walked away laughing.
She trailed after him, “William, please! You’re not well and I don’t want to see you hurt or risk your fainting away in the street.” When he continued to ignore her, she cried out, “William, I love you!”
In spite of himself, he halted and turned back to her. “You--what? What did you say?”
She beamed and ran up to him. “I love you, William and I’ve agreed to be yours.” Abruptly her manner became brisk and businesslike. “Now we’ll have to tell Mama and Papa, of course. How long an engagement do you wish? I would prefer a year but we can shorten it if you like.”
He stared in stupefaction. Cecily loved him. She’d accepted his proposal of marriage. At the flare of joy that surged in his chest, he found himself automatically reaching for her before pulling back. No, that couldn’t be. This had all happened over a century ago and Cecily was dust along with all these people. He had to find out the spellcaster responsible and get them to reverse this.
He staggered away again as Cecily tried to restrain him. Finally, he responded to her pleas by turning back to her. With a cold sneer on his face, he replied, “Frankly, my dear Cecily, I don’t give a toss.” And with that he walked away and left her with her pretty little mouth open.
He almost stumbled again when he reached the door. He blinked his eyes against the bright sunlight outside. Damn, just how long had he been out? How could it be morning already?
He peered at the daylight outside and felt his heart flutter in fear. He was a vampire. The deadly beams would kill him. No wait, they couldn’t. Whoever had cast the spell had made him human once more. The rays of light outside couldn’t touch him. With renewed confidence, he flung open the door and stepped into waiting day.
In Sunnydale, the vampire known as William the Bloody opened his crypt door and walked into the sunshine. He blithely advanced for several feet without noticing how his hair and then his clothes caught on fire. In moments, he was a burning pyre and seconds later, he collapsed into dust.
Anya had been carefully watching him from close by. She should have been at the Magic Box greeting the early customers but she couldn’t resist seeing the results of Angel’s wish. Briefly her features shifted into their demonic purple wrinkles as she spoke.
“Wish granted.”

TBC
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The Shock of the Normal