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Xander Sammich (or, Xander in the Middle)	By : Chickalupe Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Threesomes/Moresomes > Angel(us)/Spike(William)/Xander > Angel(us)/Spike(William)/Xander Views: 17039 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Angel knew what everyone said about him, he knew how they called him “broody.” 'I'm not brooding, damnit! I'm... thinking solemnly. Contemplating my redemption for the countless acts of evil for which I have yet to fully repent; and feeling the guilt of deaths untold...' Oh, all right, he could admit it. He brooded. He was a damn fine brooder; being broody is what he did, so why couldn't everyone just fuck off and let him brood in peace?!

But from what he had seen of Xander tonight, he figured the young man could now give him a run for his money in the self- flagellation stakes. In the past, he had always found it difficult to fully slip into “sulk mode” around Xander. Despite their uneasiness around each other, and problems in the past, Xander always had a habit of saying just the right joke or off-hand comment that made it hard for Angel to refrain from laughter. 'Yes, because breaking into chuckles just wouldn't fit the image of dark, mysterious, tortured hero,' said a snide inner voice that sounded suspiciously like his wayward Childe. 'Shut up,' he told the voice firmly. 'Shut. Up.'

Tonight, however, Xander was silent, which was out of character for the youth. Xander kept staring off into space with a look in his eye that Angel recognized from his own mope-sessions. From Cordelia's gossiping, he gathered that his girlfriend had dumped him to become a demon again. 'Ouch. That has to hurt.' Xander, apparently, had yet to fully recover. However, something didn't seem to fit. Xander had smelled... off... tonight. Not so much like sadness or hurt. From what Angel could smell in the pheromones the young man was putting out, Xander was confused, jealous, and lonely by turns. Several times he had felt Xander's gaze on him, and he made sure to never make eye contact. That would be extremely awkward for the both of them.

At one point, with nothing to distract him, he was catching up on some brooding of his own, watching Buffy and Riley exploring each other's tonsils, when he felt Xander look at him again. He was unable to guard his expression in time, so Xander must have seen the emotions on his face. 'Oh no, someone witnessed you having feelings! Quickly, he must be stopped before he tells everyone!' said that same little voice. 'Shut up. I mean it,' he told it forcefully. The unexpected thing was that he felt a wave of sympathy from Xander, and then saw something like rage directed at Buffy and Riley. While he was still trying to figure this out, Spike spoke harshly to the couple, who released one another. Still watching Xander, Angel saw the young man look gratefully at his Childe. Angel was completely baffled. What could be going through the boy's head?

When Xander made his melodramatic departure, Angel shared a fleeting gaze with Spike, both silently agreeing to find the boy and talk to him. That was why they were on the street now, going after the young man. It wasn't particularly hard, using their heightened senses to track him they caught up with him in a matter of minutes. Xander hadn't gone far, only walking a few blocks. Angel and Spike started walking a few yards behind him, matching their pace to his. They weren't making any effort to use stealth or sneak up on the lad, but it was still a surprise to both when he addressed them.

"So, guess they sent the Calvary after me. Or did you two volunteer for Xander-sitting duty?"

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'I did it, I've actually done it! I walked out on a Scooby meeting. It was amazing, it felt freeing. I should have done it a long time ago.'

Xander almost felt like skipping. What he had told his friends was true, if a little harsh. He did need a break from saving the world. It just got wearying, trying to be the cheerful one all the time. Sometimes, he needed someone to cheer him up, instead. He gave a small sigh. 'Who makes the clown smile?' he thought sarcastically. 'Geez, Harris, get a grip on yourself.' He knew he'd probably regret “The Great Walk-Out” in a day or three. It'd be okay, he'd apologize and make some joke, they'd write it off to post-break up freak-out, and everyone would hug, and fall back into their normal routine. But right now, he needed this for him.

For a minute there, Xander had felt like he was suffocating. He just needed some time to himself, time that didn't include demons or prophecies or imminent death. He walked along the darkened sidewalk, and seriously deliberated going back to his apartment. The apartment Anya and he had moved into, before she left. No, definitely not an option. That would just lead to missing her, which would mean feelings of confusion about not missing her more, which could only entail pondering that fluttering in his stomach when he had looked at Spike; or even the weird empathy-thing he had going with Angel. 'Nope, nuh-uh, not gonna go there.'

It wasn't that Xander had a problem admitting he found men attractive, as well as women. Thanks to Larry, he had figured that out back in high school, unfortunately already too late for some... things. He cast his mind back briefly to Jesse, then quickly clamped down on that thought. 'That goes firmly in the box marked “Places We Do Not Go”, yes?' He had known he was bisexual for a long time, but he had never really done anything about it. But he should so not be thinking thoughts like that about Spike and Angel. 'Mmm, Spike and Angel, together... No! Stop, bad Xander.' First off, they were evil vampires. Well, one evil vampire and one ex-evil-vampire. And to be fair, Spike did have that chip, '...Not that he's any more trustworthy with a chip in his head.' just like Angel had his soul, '...And that's another thing,' he thought grumpily. 'Angel's got that curse-dealie, which is sure to put a kibosh on any potential fun. That whole happiness-clause thing has got to be a bitch.' And he knew from experience that a too happy Angel made for a not-fun Angelus. Not something he wanted to risk.

More important, though, was the fact that Xander knew there was no way either of them could ever find him appealing in any way. Sure, he knew some people thought he was good-looking. But somehow he doubted that included two handsome male vampires, who could have anyone they wanted; not to mention their hatred of him, or the centuries of experience they had between them... 'Ooh, between them, sandwiched between them, their bodies rubbing against his... Arrgh!' With a groan, Xander furiously banished the mental images that were conjured up.

This was exactly why he'd had to get away. He needed a place to think, to sort out everything in his head. Maybe he'd go get a drink. He knew he denied being like his father, and he wasn't an alcoholic, but surely a few beers couldn't hurt, right? He was just trying to remember which bar was closest and if he had his fake ID when a cold chill ran up the back of his neck. There was someone behind him. He hadn't survived this long as a Scooby without gaining some sort of protective instincts. 'I may not be able to kick butt like Buffy, but dammit, I know when I'm being followed.' And he knew, he just knew, who it was. Because this was the Hellmouth and he was Xander Harris, of course it would be the two people he had just been thinking about. Why not?

He had half-known, in some part of his brain, that they would send someone after him following that little scene. It made sense. All he wanted was time alone to think, so that was the one thing they denied him. Okay, maybe his own problems were spilling over into resentment towards his friends, who were probably only concerned about him. He mentally sighed. 'Ahh well, better let them know that I know they're there.' "So, guess they sent the Calvary after me. Or did you two volunteer for Xander-sitting duty?"� 'There. That was filled with just the right amount of sarcasm.'

A shocked silence from the vampires, and then--

"How'd ya know it was us, pet?" from Spike. They stepped up alongside him; Angel on his left, Spike on his right.

"Ah, I cannot reveal that secret, Grasshopper." he joked, purposefully casual. "The mystic powers of the Slayerette are many." 'Look at that, witty rejoinder and everything. Maybe if I act normally, they won't suspect anything. Geez, vampires can't sense this kind of thing, can they?! Uh oh, panic mode here.'

A small flash of confusion on Angel's part at the Kung-Fu reference, and then he went straight into 'concerned friend'. "Are you okay, Xander? Do you... need to talk?"

Xander's heart leapt at the actual distress on Angel's face, which he squashed swiftly.

Spike joined in. "Mind us asking, pet, somethin' on yer mind?"

Xander steeled himself, time to act for all he was worth. Okay, he had plenty of practice in pretending like everything was fine. "What, Deadboy and Junior, like you can honestly tell me you've never gotten sick of the company of the Scoobies?"

Spike gave a small chuckle, and said in a voice laced with sarcasm, "Nope, can't rightly say as I have. You lot are just so much bleedin' fun to be around. And I suppose I could understand that... if that's what it was. But the thing is--"

Angel interrupted. "--The thing is, Xander, something's up. You're not yourself. Is it," the vampire hesitated. "Is it about An--"

Xander jumped in, not letting him finish. "God! No! Why does everyone assume that everything has to do with her?!" He belated realized as he said the words that he should have lied, pretended it was about his break up, so as to avoid messy questions. He tried to backpedal. "Err, um, that is..."

Spike spoke gently. "Perhaps, luv, because you've been acting 'off ' since she left. So, if yer not missing your bird, what is it then?"

Xander looked downwards. "Sometimes," he said, addressing his sneakers, "something can set off a chain of completely unrelated events." He began walking more swiftly, not that he was any match for vampiric speed. They matched his pace effortlessly.

Angel spoke. "So, Xander, where were you planning on going? Home?"

"Nope," said Xander, a determined cast to his face. "Thought I'd go to a bar, grab a drink. So you two can just go back and tell everyone that I'm fine, and I'll see you all in a couple days, 'cause I don't much feel like being with people right now." This last part was said in a slightly petulant tone.

"Right, like we're gonna up an' leave you to go off on yer own at night. There's nasties out and about, pet, and you being a demon magnet, an' all. Think maybe we'll have a drink or two with you, we can finish our conversation. Know you don't feel like being with 'people', but--" Spike and Angel shared a look of amusement. "--We ain't exactly people, are we? Promise we'll be real good company."

'Crap, can't seem to get rid of these two to save my life. They're everywhere; at the meetings, in my thoughts, my dreams... No, don't think about the dream, don't--' Xander groaned, his face flushing as the memory of the dream rushed at him. Last night he'd dreamt about the two of them, and he'd played a less than passive role. This morning, he awoke with shame to find himself stuck to his sheets, like a teenager again. He struggled to control the arousal that overcame him in spite of his best efforts.

"Right," he said, managing to get his raging hard-on under a semblance of control, "Let's go. You guys are buying." Xander sped up the pace again, leading the group to the bar up ahead.

Both vampires sniffed the air appreciatively, taking in the spicy scent of Xander's arousal that had fairly flooded them. Spike raised his eyebrows; Angel and he sharing a speaking glance as they followed the boy into the bar.

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Xander Sammich (or, Xander in the Middle)