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Heart's Desire	By : PencilNeck Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 9582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 24:� Star

�Come into the light.�� His voice is lilting and beautiful.� �I want to see your new face.�

She doesn�t comply.� She stands in the shadows cast by the
multitude of flickering candles that light up the columns and make wavering
black spaces on the floor and walls where the light cannot reach.�

He sighs.�
�It is exasperating, that you remember so little.�� He raises his hand to his face.� Leans back in his carved throne.� �Sometimes, to be perfectly honest, I tire of
our little dance.�

�I didn�t come here to dance.�� She steps out of the dark, and Faith�s face
is bathed in the light of a thousand little fires.� She leaps the space between them, aiming a
forceful blow to his sternum.�

He grabs her hand, standing with grace and
assurance.� He holds her tightly to him
for a brief moment, before flinging her away with a snarl.� He turns his head as she impacts against the
wall and crumples to the floor.

�Sadly, that is all we ever do.�� He steps down to the cavern floor, light
catching on his features.

He�s tall.� Taller than is human, and
thinner.� He seems not to be made
of flesh and bone but of some other, lighter substance.� His skin, a dark olive, shows neither lines
nor scars.� His hair is fine and almost
white, long against his back.� He is
breathtakingly handsome.� But there is
something cold and frightening in his eyes.�
His steel grey eyes. ��

He walks to her.� Slow and graceful, he walks to her and offers
his hand.

�Shall we?��

She looks at him with a deep hatred.� She stands, using the wall to assist
her.�

�I will not give you the satisfaction.� Whatever game you are playing��

�What game I am playing?�� He roars.�
�Do you think this is my doing?�
Do you think I chose this� this� state?��

�Am I to cry for you?�� She retaliates.� �You who stole from him?� You who betrayed him?�� She prepares herself
for the fight.� �You deserve no pity from
him.� Or from me.��

With a growl, he backhands her in the
face.� She lurches back, crying out and
spitting up blood and teeth.� The violence
in him seems to dissipate with the sound of her pain.

�You�re right.�� He looks at her with regret.� �But I am only what he has made me.� I am the villain because he chooses it to be
so.� And you are the hero, because it
serves him.�

�I will not listen to your lies.�� She wipes the blood from her chin.�

�But you will listen to his.�� He turns his back on her, taking a few steps
away.�

�The Father does NOT LIE!�� She screeches, attacking with all of her
righteousness.� Almost mindless in her rage,
she flies toward him.

�HEAR ME!��
He spins around and grabs her wrists.�
He stares down at her; his immense height makes him seem a
colossus.� �He is immortal, not
infallible!� He has made mistakes!� Terrible, painful
mistakes.�� He looks deeply into her
grey eyes, seeing only himself reflected.�
He drops her hands and turns away again.�
He can�t bear this.� He sits down
on the arm of his throne, looking resigned.�
�If you only knew what he has done.�

�Why don�t you tell me, then?�� She spits, circling him, waiting for an
opening.

�Oh, believe me I�ve tried.�� He smiles weakly.� �But you see, it�s
against the rules.� He will not tolerate
cheating.� Would that be irony?� I never quite get that right��

�I think that�s called self-pity.�� She cracks her neck.� �And I am tired of it.�

�You and me both, dear one.�� He closes his eyes.� �I had hoped this time would be�� But that is the point then isn�t it?� Hope.�
That�s what makes his plan so exquisite��

She does not answer him with words.� Words do nothing but confuse.� She relies on what she knows.

She lunges at him, using Faith�s strong hands
like pistons against his chest and face.�
He lurches back with every blow.��

It almost seems reluctant, the way he
fights.� He barely defends himself and
the punches he manages to throw are weak, barely splitting her skin.

She increases her attack.� Hammering down with her
fists, elbows and knees.� His
smooth perfect skin begins to show the damage she�s doing.� His blood is red, but not the same.� It�s lighter and thinner.� It spills like tears from the cuts on his
face.� It makes her bold.

�You disappoint me.�� She laughs.�
�I expected more than this� pathetic creature.��

Blackness.� It�s all around.� She blinks, widening her pupils, but there is
no light to capture.��

�I could kill you with a breath.�� His voice whispers at her ear, his breath on
her skin.� She can sense the closeness of
him.

�I could kill you with a thought.�� His voice echoes in the cavern, not
dissipating but increasing with every reverberation until it�s a screeching
cacophony.� She holds her ears to block
it out.� She�ll go mad.� It has to stop, or she�ll go mad�

�I could��
Quiet again.� Only
one soft voice in the dark, coming from somewhere in front of her.� �I could pull the stars from the sky, and
watch the people fret and pray because all the lights have gone out.��

She feels a breeze against her skin.� And then it�s bright and blinding, painfully
so.� She rubs her eyes.� She opens them, realizing that it�s only the
candles.� They�ve been re-lit.��

�But I don�t.�� He caresses the flame of the candle nearest
him.� �And perhaps for that, I am� what
was it you called me?� Ah�
a pathetic creature.�

�If you can kill me�� She won�t be fooled or frightened by his
tricks.� �Why have you not yet managed
it?� Not ever.�

He stares, his grey eyes searching for
something in her.� Whatever it is, he
does not find it.��

�Good question.�� He gives her a wry, soft smile.� �I see now� there is no way.� He has seen to it.��

�It has to end.��

His fist hits her body before her eyes
recognize that he�s moved.� Two more
blows land, breaking ribs and the left collarbone, before she can register the
pain of the first.� She tries to block
with her elbow, only to feel it snap.�
His long thin fingers wrap around her neck.� Cutting off air and blood.� She kicks and scratches and pulls at
him.� With her last breath screaming in
her lungs, she whispers out a prayer.�

�Hy� ��s� nemangh�
ust�nazast� rafedhrahy� many�ush Mazd�!�

�Yes, let�s call to him.�� He traces her chin, watching as the steel
gray leaves her eyes.� He shuts them,
resisting the urge to kiss the lids.� He
gently lays her limp body down.� She does
not moan, or stir.� He looks up, eyes
focused somewhere beyond the flickering ceiling.

�Are you satisfied?�� He screams upward.� �I have ended it!�

There is no response.� His cries echo in the cavern until only
silence fills the room.�

He begins to pace.� Something has gone wrong.� He has surrendered and something has gone
wrong.� He stares at the body on the
ground.� The weight of his betrayal sinks
in.

He doesn�t know whether to cry or to
rage.� He chooses rage.� He slams his fist into the closest pillar,
and it shatters.� He doesn�t feel better.�

�Did you hear me?�� He tries again.� �She is DEAD!�

�Sorry to disappoint, but we�re very much
alive�� A foot hits him three times in
the back.� He falters, tripping up the
step to his throne.� �And very much
kicking.��

Good one.� Buffy puts a smile on Faith�s face.�

I thought so.� Faith replaces it with her own patented
smirk.

�What is this?�� He turns.�
�One last joke at my expense?�

�Wow.��
Buffy raises Faith�s brow.�
�Bitter much?��

He stares at them, looking past the body to
the souls entwined within.

�Oh, damn.�
That hurts�� Faith finally feels
the extent of the damage done to her body.�
�Knew I shouldn�t have let ya
under my skin.� Oh god, ow��

�Oh right, so this is my fault?�� Buffy pouts.�
�I should have just died then?��

�That seems to be your answer to everything.�� Faith wishes Buffy was in her own body, so
she could nudge her or something.� �I
mean you die at the drop of a hat these days.�

�Fine!�� Buffy wishes she were in her own body, so she
could cross her arms and look as huffy as she feels.� �Next time you�re about to be impaled from
behind by a giant monster tail and wow is this sentence going in the wrong
direction.�

�This is� truly absurd.�� He laughs, and it is a striking sound.� The chiming of church bells
and the rumble of thunder.� �But
perhaps only as absurd as the rest.�

�You wanna compare
notes?�� Faith pushes the pain down.� Gets her angry up.� �There�s two other
people callin� dibs on my body.�� She holds her broken arm to her chest while
punching out with the other.� �I�m in the
basement of a freakin� volcano.�� Her fist catches air.� She kicks out with her right leg.� �Just killed more demons in
one day than I probably have my whole life.�� Her foot makes contact with his side but it
doesn�t seem to concern him.� �And now
I�m what?� Playin�
footsie with the real live Devil?�� She rolls her eyes.� �I think I kicked your ass on the whole
absurd thing, Captain Emo!��

�You think I�m�� He deliberates inside his head.� �I admit there are some similarities, but I
assure you I am far worse.�

�Worse than what?�� Buffy�s having trouble following.� �The Devil?� Cos I can�t think of
anything worse than whiny boy rock.�

�The Devil is like a scientist, working on a
singular hypothesis.�� He muses, not
caring if anyone else is listening.� �My
agenda is strictly personal.� This makes
me infinitely more dangerous.�

�Put your evil where your mouth is,
then.�� Faith works her injured arm,
clenching her jaw as she clenches her fist.�
�Let�s see what you got.�

�This isn�t going to be a battle.�� He walks calmly toward her.� �If I decide to kill you, I will.� You will have no say in the outcome.�

Faith is about to say something really
cutting and sarcastic.� But then she�s
queasy.�

You feel that?� Faith thinks maybe it�s just her.

Sorta.� Like seasickness. �Buffy can only grasp at the edges of it.� Like the pain before:� she�s aware of it but it�s not aware of her.�

I think it�s
her�� The
So-She-Whatever.� Faith resists the urge to
fight the other presence.

He watches Faith intently during the internal
dialogue.� Catches the
differences in the face, in the eyes when each of them is more present.� He watches as a silver gray passes over the
eyes.�

�Maybe��
He grabs at Faith�s collar, and aims a fist at her face.� He brings it down hard.� The gray flickers and fades.

�Ah!� He drops her to the floor,
excited.� �So that�s how it works!��

�How what works?�� Faith spits out teeth.� �You hit, I hurt.� It�s called a fight, dickhead!� Except now it�s my turn!�

Faith lunges.�
Unleashes a full volley of kicks and punches.� She makes her target, but nothing seems to
distress him.� He stands and takes every
hit without flinching.

�You misunderstand.�� He backhands her.� She soars, hitting her head against the rock
wall.� There�s a trickle of blood.� �But perhaps��
Yes, perhaps I can make you understand.�

�Perhaps you can make me wear plaid with
stripes, but we�re a long way from that yet.��
Buffy puts her two cents in.�

�Shall we dance?�� He waits for her to rise.�

She doesn�t offer him any such courtesy.� She dives at him.

His fist hits first.�

�You will listen to me.�� He strikes hard against Faith�s body.� �I will prevent her from returning for just
long enough.� And maybe��

�It doesn�t matter if you kill us.�� Faith lisps through the gaps in her teeth.� �There�s more where we came from.�

�Yeah.� I already died once tonight, and I came back
for an encore�� Buffy isn�t sure that�s
technically true.� But it sounds good.

�I could do this for days and not kill
you.�� He throws them away as if they
were a pebble.� Faith�s body flies back,
skidding along the chiseled floor.� �I
don�t want to kill you.� Not yet.�

He strides over to them.� Faith can offer no resistance.� Buffy can only watch.

�Shall I tell you a story?�� He grabs them by one shoulder, and hurls them
against the throne.� Something in Faith�s
spine snaps.

��I�ve
heard children like stories.�

********************

How far back should I go?� The very beginning?� My first thought as I awakened from
nothingness into the cradle of this universe?�
Should I explain the wonder of watching the planets cool over the
millennia?

No, I think not.� That is not something you could really
understand.� Eternity.� Your lives are too small.� You barely grasp time and space after
all.� But love...� I think even you can understand love.� And love is what this story is really about.�

So I shall begin, I think, nearer the
end.� Your place in
this farce� and the choice that will face you soon enough.

My Father had a lot of children.� Not in the messy way of your kind.� In the way that we are his and he is our
Father.� You have to know that life has
not always been a cycle.� Once, long ago,
it just was.� But that all changed of
course.� It had to.� Things must die, things must be re-made.� Ah� I�m wandering too far from the path�

Among us was one that I found especially
fascinating.� A
daughter.� She was beauty.� Light shone from her.� In her eyes lay the truth of all things.� It was easy to love her.� And I did, fiercely.

Soon, to my amazement, she began to love me
back.� We would spend eternities
together, me lying in her light.� We
could not bear to be apart.� We craved
the happiness we could only find in each other.

And of course, it was this that brought the
wrath of our Father down upon us.� It was
not that I loved her.� Not that she loved
me.� But that our love for each other
might rival our love for him.� He was
wrong, but the damage was done.� His
goodness was broken by it.� Jealousy and
fear found a foothold within him.� You
don�t comprehend the meaning if it� we had tainted his perfection.� He was beyond furious.� Our betrayal had destroyed him, thus he was
bent on destroying us.

We begged.�
We pleaded with him to see reason.�
We tried in so many ways to show him that our love could not hurt
him.� That it was pure and infinite and
expanding like our universe, like our existence.� That it would only allow us to love him
more.�

He would not see it.� He could not, I think.� He could only see it as disloyalty.�� The more we argued, the angrier he
became.�

I was afraid he might cast us out.� Might forbid us to be
together.� If I had known what he
had in store��
It still amazes me, how his mind turned to cunning so quickly.

He said we would be tested.� Our love for him and for each other would be
tested. ��He spoke so softly and for a
moment I was relieved.�

He grew quiet.� We stood at his feet and waited.� He did not speak, did not move.� Not for eons and we stood like lambs waiting
for our good master to bring the knife down.

And so he did.

He killed her.� Right then and there without any hesitation
as I gasped and cried out my fury.� He
touched her, stole her light from her body and put it far away in the black.� Then he touched me, and I felt myself
falling.� It takes ages to fall from such
a height.� I felt physical pain for the
first time when I finally hit the ground.

It was only then that I realized what he was
teaching me.� The
concepts of loss, violence, hatred.�
All things I would need to play my part.�
Things I would never have grasped before.� Things he never would have let touch us.

He promised me that I would see her.� That I could bring her to me if I was willing
to do what needed to be done.� If I could
kill and maim and destroy, she would be re-born and come to me.

I was sure I wouldn�t.� I always liked your world, and the life on
it.� Playful and
intriguing, so prone to laughter��
Such beautiful children you are.�
How could I want to harm you?� I
was sure�

But I missed her.� Time passed and I was aware of it.� Days, weeks, years�� It became unbearable.� Knowing she was just outside my reach.� That I could have her again if I just�

He made me a monster.

And this is what you have stumbled into.� Your fight, your great
battle against evil.� It amounts
to nothing in the end but a family squabble.�
But you�re not finished yet.� The
pawn must make a move before the game is over.�

So here is your choice.� You may kill me.� I will kneel at your feet and allow you to
twist my neck. �Of course I won�t die
permanently.� I�ll recover.� I�ll wait as long as I can, until the
loneliness is too much and the hope within me regains itself.� Then I shall wreak my havoc upon the earth
once again, just to see her.

Or you can allow me to kill you now.� Give me permission.� The cycle will end.� She will die and be lost to me forever.� And I� I will return
to my Father, a slave in his house.

But if she can remember.� Who she is, what we are.� Then the cycle ends and everything will be
healed.� Our father will forgive us, and
that act will repair the damage we have done to him.� But only if she can
remember.

The trouble is she never has.� Each time I rise, she comes to stop me.� So filled up with righteousness, anger and
the lies he�s put in her head.� She can�t
see past it.� She can�t hear me.�

Maybe she can hear you.

********************
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Heart's Desire