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Independence	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Faith/Willow Views: 7379 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 23
- 24
- 25
Independence
By Norwalker
Part 24 of
Summary: What did Willow and Faith discuss in that little car trip from L.A. to Sunnydale in season 7? And what were the consequences? A Willow/ Faith story
Rating: R, Very R
Category: romance/drama/angst
Spoilers: Possible season 7 spoilers. Possible season 4 Angel spoilers. C'mon, you must have seen 'em by now!
Time Line: Mid season 7(after the return of Faith) and beyond
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.
Warnings: Adult themes, violence, sexual situations between members of the same gender. Please be aware, character death is always a distinct possibility. It can happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you!!! Any racist remarks are spoken by the characters, and are in no way shared by the author. This story is not meant for children.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Los Angeles
Los Angeles International Airport
4 weeks later.
Driving through L.A. traffic is almost never pleasant. It's a nightmare when caught in the rush hour, trying to get to the airport. Combine that with tension you can cut with a knife, and you've got what's in this car, at this moment: Hell.
The radio is blaring some music to cover up the fact that neither woman has said a word since they left the Hyperion. Neither looks at the other, except out of the corner of their eye, each keeping the distance between them. They might as well be strangers.
Willow stares straight ahead, maneuvering for better position in traffic. Every minute in the car is torture, and she just wants it to end. But the end is even worse, because then Faith is gone, and she still doesn't know how she's going to deal with that. So, she drives, trying to concentrate on traffic and put everything else out of her mind. Why doesn't that ever work?
It's over. She hasn't said it's over, but it's all done except putting it in the ground. Well, what did you expect, dummy? After nearly killing her? Hugs and cuddly kittens? I lost it, I let the monster out. When they took her away in the ambulance, I didn't know if she'd live or die. But I know something died that night. She hasn't said anything, not a word. She hasn't treated me differently, not really... but I can see it. In her eyes, when she looks at me. See what I never saw before. Something I never wanted to see when she looked at me ... fear.
A driver cuts in front of Willow, forcing her to slam on the brakes. Both women do an imitation of bobble-headed dolls, and Willow, already on edges, yells out : " IDIOT!" She checks the rear view and side view mirrors, and notices Faith looking at her, with a slightly amused expression on her face.
" What? " Willow mutters, exasperated and still shaken, " it wasn't my fault. That ... moron cut in front of me."
Faith just half grins, reaches and snaps off the radio, and turns away.

" Well, he did! " Willow insists, feeling aggrieved.
" Uh-huh " Faith mumbles, staring out the passenger window.

Willow lapses back into silence, now the predominate sound in the car. The unease that's characterized their relationship settles back in like an old friend, and Willow knows that'll probably be the last conversation they have before reaching the airport.

It's going to be a long ride.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hyperion Hotel
3 weeks prior
Willow roams aimlessly around the garden, having escaped her room just a few minutes prior.
She'd felt like a caged animal up in her room, pacing and sitting, not finding a place she could settle down. She looked through her books, trying to find something to occupy her mind, but that was useless. Finally she caught herself in the mirror, and stared. For a moment she didn't recognize the woman staring back at her. Who ARE you?
Now she wanders, looking at the flowers, trying to find some peace in herself, but it's rather useless. Faith's bringing Buffy to the hotel today, and she's too on edge. I should be there. But being around Faith right now is just too hard. Too many things have been left unsaid in the last week. Kira went with Faith instead, Willow being the only one to stay at the hotel.
Willow wonders exactly what she's done. What she's become, who she is. Obviously, not the same girl who used to go into geeker joy over a new software program or a hardware upgrade. Not the same girl who used to get tongue tied if someone looked at her with more than a passing interest. Obviously, not the same shy girl who glommed onto an ex-cheerleader turned hero, basking in the reflected light of her glory. Things had changed, she had changed. And she knows in her heart, there's no going back. Much as sometimes, like... now? when she would give anything to go back.
Sighing, she sits on the fountain bench in the middle of the garden, and assumes a lotus position. She decides to use one of the meditation techniques the Coven taught her when she was in England, rehabilitating. Closing her eyes, she concentrates, working on controlling the rhythm of her breathing, bringing it to a steady, quiet flow. Empty your mind, she thinks, as she concentrates on the image of a swinging gate, let the thoughts go. Let it all go, don't worry about what's around you...
She's jarred by the sound of laughter. It's cynical laughter, and she knows it's aimed at her. Annoyed, and somewhat frustrated, she opens her eyes and whirls in the direction of the laughter, ready to do some serious verbal bashing.
She gasps and takes a step back when she sees who's laughing. All the self control she's trying to achieve goes out the window. It's not possible. It... no way it's possible!
Dark Willow, fully realized, gestures at the place where Willow was sitting.

" What's this, grasshopper? Do a little meditating? Gee, how... loser-like" She laughs, and moves her hands in tight little circles. " Ooo... Wax on, Wax off, huh? Mr. Miagi would be so proud. " She stands appraising Willow with a cynical smirk.
" No way! No freaking way!" Willow exclaims, backing up, " You.. you can't exist!"
Dark Willow just laughs at her, circling around the fountain to get closer.
" Oh, no. You mean I'm not real? " Dark Willow feigns surprise, " Oh dear, oh dear... guess I shouldn�t taken out that subscription to the time-life Big Bads of History series, huh?"

" Oh, no... no, no, and no. You're not real. I'm having a Twin Peaks moment." Willow shuts her eyes tightly. She squints out through one eye, and sees Dark Willow standing directly in front of her, hand on hip, snickering at her. " Crap!"
" Ah, c'mon baby, It's not all that bad. Insanity, I mean. It can be fun!" Dark Willow arches her brow, " try it, you might like it." Willow squeezes her eyes shut again, and Dark Willow sighs heavily, " Oh, stop it. You're not insane, just having a vision, idiot. Get over it already."
" Vision?" Willow peeks out at her again, " Why would I have a vision of you, for goodness sake?"
" Well, I think we both know it's not for goodness sake, " Dark Willow says, " but I just couldn't take one more Willow self-flagellating-athon, know what I mean? "
" Huh?" Willow looks puzzled.
" Oh, please, we all know where this was going. First you were going to try to empty old big brain there, and that's so not going to happen, then you're going to call on say Diana to come to your aid, and show you wisdom. Again, not going to happen, then it was going to be " poor-me-Willow" pity party time." She rolls her eyes, " do you know how annoying the whining gets after awhile?"
" I don't whine!" Willow snaps back defensively, "I... well, I ... regret!"
" Whine, regret, whine, regret. All sounds the same to me, " Dark Willow shakes her head, " And the thing is, you call me out to do your dirty work, then it's " But I didn't mean to do it". God, get real, girl"
" This is bogus, " Willow starts pacing, trying to shut out Dark Willow, " it's not happening. It's just too much stress, too much worry, I'm having a slight nervous breakdown and when I'm better, you'll be gone, and this'll be over. Just breathe, Willow; take deep breaths... one... two...."
" Listen, cutie. You can go on and on about having nervous breakdowns, or whatever you want to tell yourself. You can deny me, go on being little Miss Willow of Sunnyhell farm, do whatever you think you gotta do, but end of the day? Still gonna be her, girl. Not going anywhere."
" Not listening, you're evil ! " Willow clamps her hand over her ears, "La, la, la, la , la, la, la!" Willow turns away from Dark Willow.
" Oh yeah, that always works, " Dark Willow smirks, " Dim-wit, I'm in your head. Covering your ears? not going to block me out! "
" Oh," Willow lowers her hands, " well, I was right, then. You're not real. So, I'll just pretend your not there, not let you get to me, and eventually you'll fade out. "
" The old ' ignore me and I'll go away trick? ' Sorry, not going to work," Dark Willow walks over to the bench, and lounges on it. " C'mon, sit down, we'll talk about it."
Willow stands, arms crossed over chest, pretending she doesn't hear her.
" Fine, wanna play that way, fine, " Dark Willow says. She gestures, and Willow finds herself sitting on the bench next to the reclining Dark Willow, " now, lets stop the crap, shall we? "
Willow put her face in her hands, hunching over, " This is wrong. So wrong on so many levels."
" Oh, great. Back to the whining portion of the discussion. Just swell ! " Again, she sighs heavily, " I swear, you're the dumbest genius I've ever met. Oh wait, you're the only genius I've ever met. Tells you a little something about my scope of acquaintances, doesn't it? Well, listen up, imbecile. I'm as real as you are. " She pauses for effect, " maybe because I'm you. "
" No! You're not me! You're evil! " Willow protests, " I'm not evil! "

" Ok you're missing the whole " I'm you " thing, aren't you? " Dark Willow mocks.
" I'm NOT you... no, wait; YOU'RE not me... yeah, that's it ... you're not ME! "
" Uh-huh, " Dark Willow says. She switches to a sing-song voice, " I doth think the lady doth protest too much! "
Willow starts to protest, then shuts up, staring at Dark Willow tight-lipped.
"Finally, she shuts up. Shoulda thought of that one sooner," Dark Willow grins, " Listen, kiddo, first of all lets get some things straight here, ok? This you- me crap? It's just that, crap. It's all you...or me... or whatever you want to call it. We're both a part of the whole thing called Willow, got it? "
Willow just glares at her.
" Hey, look I wasn�t the one that played around with dark magicks, giving me form, you know. That was you're doing, girl. So don't get all huffy with me! " Dark Willow shrugs, " you've got this whole denial thing going, and frankly? It's boring. I'm part of you girl, like it or not. So, get used to it."
" Wrong-o. You're because of the dark magicks. Because I used dark magic for revenge. You're just... something that lives inside me, waiting to get out and cause trouble."
" Convenient, isn't it? I mean, blaming 'me' when you want to do things 'you' wouldn't think of doing. Uh-huh. all goes boom, however, when you realize... I'm YOU, dope! "
" Liar! LIAR!! I'm not evil ! " Willow cries out, angrily. Dark Willow just laughs at her. " I'm not. I'm... well, I'm not evil ! "
" Oh, well, then that settles that. I guess I'll just be disappearing any second now. " Dark Willow lounges back, humming a little tune to herself. She checks out her nails, and then pulls a compact out of her purse. She frowns. " Hey, do you think I can get a good base to cover the veins? "
"Are you still here?" Willow says, glancing at Dark Willow angrily. " I mean, it's not even possible for you to be here. Right? I mean, you say you're part of me, so how come you're out here, with me?"
" Duh, I'm not like here, here. I'm in your head, loser, " Dark Willow shakes her head, " you're pretty stupid for being so smart, you know?"
" Uh-huh... got it. So, " Willow queries, " what do you want?"
" Want? I dunno... maybe a nice house, somewhere on the beach. A cool car, something kinda sporty, you know? Chicks really dig that. Oh, hey, I'd really like that girlfriend of yours? What's her name? Faith? Hot little bitch, and such a fighter! Oh, and hey, she's got some nice nasty running through her, too. Yeah, lip smacking good, that one!"
" Shut UP! You leave Faith outta this!" Willow yells.
" Would you be quiet? Geeze, they're gonna think your nuts, you know! And hey, if I want her, what're you gonna do about it? Kill me?" Dark Willow chuckles.
" I might, " Willow says, getting defensive, " I know there's gotta be a spell to get rid of you. I just gotta find it."
" Look, clueless, let me give you a tip, " Dark Willow leans over and whispers in Willow's ear, " the only way you can get rid of me, is to kill yourself." She straightens up, and pulls out a wicked looking knife. She tosses it to Willow. " So, babe, are you serious? Want shuck of me? Well, here's your chance." She stands and looks around, " Everybody seems to be gone. No one to stop you. I sure won't. Go ahead, do it!"
Willow looks at the knife in her hand. She looks up, her expression bleak. Then her eyes narrow, and she tosses the knife at Dark Willow. It passes right through her.
" Ooops, missed. No, wait, you didn't , did you?" Dark Willow smirks at her. " Still not getting it, are you? You can't kill me, you can't order me out, and you can't really suppress me. Why? Because I'm integral to you, Willow. I'm part of you, same as your arms or your eyes. And hey, another clue? I'm not like ' new '. Like you keep telling yourself. I've been with you oh... forever. I'm all the times you've been slighted and hurt. I'm the anger within you, the resentment, and the fear. I'm the thing that hides in the dark and gets mean when someone picks on you. Remember how crappy you felt when you caught Xander kissing Cordelia in the stacks. Yeah, that was me. Remember how angry you got at Tara, when she thought maybe you were going a little heavy on the magicks? Guess who! I'm the one that spurs you on to fight back when your attacked, I'm the one that keeps you from peeing your pants when you're in danger. I'm all of that, and so much more. I'm your fear, your hates, and I'm the one that steels your spine when you fight. Without me, baby? You're nothing." Dark Willow comes around, and gets into Willow's face, " you've got this stupid notion that somehow, I'm separate from you, that you can put me down, bottle me up, and poof, I'm not here. Guess again. I'm always here, always lurking just below the surface, Willow. I don't need that black arts book, Willow to come out. That's just a crutch, you know? Any time you get made enough, you hate enough; any time you lose control, well, baby, that's an open door to me."
" NO!! " Willow yells, then softens her tone. " No. I won't... I can't ... if that's true, then yeah, maybe I should just slit my wrists. Do everybody a favor." Willow grows morose.
"Are you congenitally stupid?" Dark Willow sneers at Willow, " Sure, go ahead, and kill yourself. No skin off my nose. Oh, yeah, I don't have a nose. Don't you get it? Didn't you pay attention to anything the Coven or Giles taught you? It's all connected. Like the light, the dark is all a part of a whole. Killing yourself only releases me back into the network. Just like it releases the light inside you. The only thing that goes poof is your soul. The you in you. Killing yourself only cuts off the good YOU might do for the world."
" Then it's hopeless, isn't it?" Willow, feeling more depressed, moans. " Damned if I do, damned if I don't"
" The only hopeless thing around here is trying to get you to listen, god, that's hopeless. Listen to me, you idiot. I'm giving you the answer, free, and you're dancing all around it like it's a hot bed of coals. You don't wanna see me anymore? Well, then, here's how. Don't!"
"Oh sure, it's so clear now, I'll just ... huh?" Willow taunts Dark Willow.
" Oh, please, you really suck at the sarcasm, ok? Leave it to the pros, " Dark Willow dismisses her. " Here's the plan. Stop whining, stop feeling sorry for yourself, start taking responsibility for yourself, and, oh yeah, embrace what you are. Simple as that."
" you wanna embrace?" Willow gets squirmy at the thought of it.
" Get real. The gay thing? That's your light side, not me." Dark Willow shivers, " no, embrace what you are, you imbecile. All of it. Stop trying to blame some phantom ' Dark Willow', " Dark Willow bows at this juncture, " and instead, use what it gives you. The fire, the passion, the coldness needed to get the job done? That I give you. The power? That's a bonus. Instead of trying to bottle me up, so I keep building and building and building til I'm ready to pop, use what I've got to give you. Your light side? Really sweet... gag... and really a charmer... gag, double gag... but me? I'm the iron under all that velvet, you know? So why fight me? Why keep trying to make me into something I'm not? Just use me, loser."
" Yeah, that's a great plan. Except, what if I lose control, again? Then you're out, doing the evil thing, giving my friends hell... trying to kill my friends. Yeah, great plan you got there... NOT!" Willow turns her back.
" Yeah, well you got any better ideas? Cuz, I'm all ears if you do. Thing is Sparky, I'm here, like it or not. And, when you try to push me down, bottle me up? I only get stronger. Did ya notice I didn't poop out quite as fast as last time? Know why? Cuz every time I get out and drive? I get stronger, and you get weaker. What a hoot? Right now, I should shut up, and just let you keep being a dolt. Soon enough, I'd be in control. Thing is, this is your mind talking to you, and not me, so it's not my choice. It's yours. So, go ahead, keep trying to make me go away. One of these days, I'll get out and watch out world, there won't be no going back . There really won't be any Willow left to take back the reins."
" Get real. Are you shitting me? Think I'm gonna believe that crap? "
Before Willow can blink, Dark Willow's in her face. Her eyes are blazing, and all humor is gone from her face.
" Do I look like I'm shitting you?" Her voice has dropped an octave.
Suddenly, Willow's flying through the air, and lands in the garden, hard on her butt. Dark Willow's on top of her, glaring down at her.
" Think I like being trapped in you, you wimp? Think I like all the moaning and groaning I gotta listen to? All the " poor me's" and the " Oh, I'm so good" and all that crap? Think it's a hoot? I'd so like to rip that face of yours off and wear it like a mask. But I can't because, right now, for now YOU'RE IN CONTROL. But don't get cocky with me, bitch. Cuz, keep it up, and I'm gonna bust out, kill your friends and then, for giggles, you. So, this is your wake up call. Listen up. Get it together, or die. Me? I betting on the latter, but somebody higher up thinks you might actually pull it off. That's a joke!" Dark Willow leans over, and lays a scratch on Willow's cheek. " Just so you remember me, bitch. Cuz, I aint done with you yet!"
Dark Willow slaps Willow hard.
In that instant, the scene changes, and Willow's back on the bench, in the lotus position. She blinks and opens her eyes, looking around. She feels confused, and a little disoriented.
A dream. It was only a dream.
Then she feels the stinging on her cheek . She touches it, and looks at her fingers. Blood!
She looks down at the ground in front of her. Written in red, on the pavement, is a message. Is that blood?
" DON'T FORGET ME BITCH. I'M WATCHING FOR MY BIG COMING-OUT PARTY!! "
Willow shivers when she hears the laugh and realizes she's alone.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Los Angeles
On the road to the Airport
Faith looks out the window at the passing traffic. She's drumming her fingers on the door impatiently.
" Could you stop that, please? It's distracting," Willow says from the other side of the front seat.
Faith barely turns her head towards Willow and says, " Sorry ". But she ceases drumming her fingers. She realizes she probably should've left the radio on, but she couldn't take the sound anymore. It's still throbbing in her head.
She stares out at the passing traffic. The buildings seem to whoosh by, even though she knows instinctively they're driving below speed limit because of traffic. Still, she can feel herself getting closer and closer to the airport, and with each passing minute, the knots in her stomach draw tighter.
Faith briefly looks at Willow, and her heart sinks a little more. Willow's face is grim, almost to the point of hostility. Her hands are tightly gripping the wheel, and the conversation has been minimal, at best. Perhaps that's for the best, Faith thinks, as she returns her gaze to the outside.
Faith knows how Willow feels about the decision she made. She also knows Willow is hurt and upset because she, Faith, didn't let her in on more of the details. But if she knew what I was facing, she'd probably just be more freaked by it. Faith sighs, trying to relieve some of the burning going on inside.
Faith makes another furtive glance towards Willow. She doesn't linger on Willow, she knows if she does, her resolve will weaken. She'll want to shuck this crap, to stop the car, turn it around. Take Willow, and Buffy, and Kira, and go away somewhere. A far, far away somewhere. Screw the world, what's it ever done for me? For any of us? But she knows she won't; she really can't do that. She's not the 17 year old girl that showed up in Sunnydale all those years ago, with nothing but her own concerns in tow. Everything that's happened to her has brought her to this point, and she can't stop now.
She has to go through with it. If she doesn't, she'll kiss everything she's worked for these last 18 months goodbye. Everything she's given up, all the dreams, will be for nothing. Her mission will be lost, and the thing... the awful thing that's coming? Nothing will be in place to stop it. All of Angel's sacrifice, along with Wesley, Gunn, and Fred's, will be for nothing. Their death will just be a prelude to the death that's waiting.
Even if that weren't so, she still had to do this. She can't run far enough to get away from the clan, and now they seem to be after her blood. Worse, she knows it won't stop with her. Willow would be in danger, as would Kira and Buffy. They wouldn't leave any loose ends, any possibilities of repercussions. They're all in danger because of me. I've gotta protect them. I got to!
In her head, she knows she's doing the right thing. It's the only way.
So why is everything feeling so wrong? She wonders, as she watches the passing traffic.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hyperion Hotel
2 weeks prior
Morning
Kira walks with a confident stride through the garden leading to the main entrance. It's put on, however. She doesn't feel nearly as confident as she looks.
She stops and checks herself out in the glass door, turning right then left, checking her look. She fusses a little, straightening here, pulling there. She smiles, weakly, and lets herself in.
What're you doing, Kira Hearne? What do you think? She's going to be looking for you or something? Oh, this is so silly. I mean, c'mon, there's nothing between you, you know that Kira. She's not even going to give you a second glance. Anyway, not like ... I love her or anything. Just got all emotional at the hospital. I mean, geeze, I watched her get shot ... of course I'm going to get a little freaked. She's a friend, after all. But nothing more, and that's for the best, anyway. I'm not... like... oh crap. Who am I kidding? Me, maybe. You know that little blonde makes you nuts ... in a good way. And you know that she doesn't give a crap for you. Not that way. She's just being friendly, and you're getting it all wrong, as usual. With your record in the romance department? You couldn�t even tell the difference if it came up and held up a big sign right in front of your face. You're just doing some wishful thinking, and you better stop it, now. Nothing's gonna happen here. Nothing. Ok? So get it together, girl.
Kira is almost in the office when she sees something on the reception desk counter. Curious, she walks over, and sees it's a single red rose in a bud vase. Isn't that pretty? She thinks, as she looks around for a note. She only sees a yellow post-it attached to the vase. It only says " Smell me". She leans over to smell it, and notices a little note tucked in the petals. She opens it, and it reads :
" Mmmm. Pretty. Now, go into the office, please!"
With a puzzled look on her face, she complies. She walks into the office, and on the center of the desk is a bowl. She walks over, and notes it's something to eat, with whipped cream on top. She smiles, seeing a little yellow post-it note on the bowl. It simply says " Taste me". Smiling a small smile, she takes the spoon by the bowl, and takes a small bite of the contents. She's never had a chocolate mousse before, and it's like heaven in her mouth.
" Oh, god, that's wonderful, " She says to herself, spooning more of the chocolate delight into her mouth. She quickly finishes the confection, picking up the bowl in the process. She notices another note under the bowl, folded up like the one in the rose. Setting the bowl back on the desk, she retrieves the note and opens it. It reads:
" Mmmm. Sweet. Now, look in the closet, please!"
Kira is feeling a little giggly. No one's ever done anything like this before. Not for her anyway. Then a thought hits her. Oh, god... what if it's not for me? It could be for Faith! She looks guiltily at the bowl of the now demolished mousse. Oh man, what've I done? Damn me! She carefully replaces the note she found under the bowl. Crap, I'll have to run out and find something to substitute for the ... whatever that wonderful stuff was. Oh, god, why didn't I think? She was convinced now it had to be Willow. She knew Willow and Faith had been having some difficulties... she probably did this to make it up. And I ruined it! Well, I'll fix it. Go to the little donut shop around the corner. They had some nice �clairs. That'll do, I guess. Hope that ... whatever wasn�t a fave of Faith's. Damn, I'm so stupid! She starts towards the door, but stops. She's curious what Willow has in the closet. I'll just peek in... won't disturb it. Hope faith appreciates the trouble Willow went through... I know I would, if it were ... well...ok, go look idiot, and don't make a bigger mess of things. Oh, god, and return that note to the rose! She walks to the closet, and hesitates. I really shouldn't... oh, heck, I'm already screwed. What more can Willow do to me? She opens the door. Inside, on a stool, is the cutest little stuffed teddy bear. It's dressed up in women's business suit, carrying a little briefcase. Kira smiles.
" That's so sweet. Faith is going to..." She notices a name on the briefcase. Kira Hearne. She stands quietly for a moment, overwhelmed. It was for me! But who...?
She picks up the bear, and sees a little post-it note on the collar.
" Hug me" it says, and Kira hugs the little bear. As she does, she feels a note tucked under the bear's blouse. She reaches in, and opens it.
" Mmmm... soft. Thanks for the hug! "
But unlike the other notes, there's more.
Dear Kira,
I know what you've been doing.
What I've been doing? Huh?
Faith told me that you stayed with me that first night I was in the hospital. You wouldn't leave, even when they tried to throw you out ! You stayed all night. What you don't know is I saw you there that night.
Faith, I'm so going to kill you...and what? You saw me? But, you were out cold.
I woke up, and saw you sleeping. Poor baby, you looked so tired! Uncomfortable, too, leaning over the bed and snoozing!
Ok, totally embarrassed now! God, I hope I wasn't snoring! Or drooling! That would be pretty!
Thing is, I know you didn't have to do that. You could've gone home, and slept in a comfy bed. But you didn't. You stayed with me, and it means a lot. That you cared. It really means a lot that you cared! I felt safe, with you there. I guess that's kind of silly, I mean, lots of security and stuff at the hospital, right? But, I felt safer with you there.

What I'm trying to say, in my stupid way, is thank you. Not only for staying with me, but for being a good friend to me. I know I haven't been such a good friend to you. I've caused you some grief, especially with Faith, getting you in hot water with her more than once. But I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, and I want to be a better friend to you. You know? I mean, I want to try, anyway, if you'll let me.

This is sounding more like an apology, than a thank you, and I guess it is .I just don't want you to think I'm a goof off, or like that. I want you to think better of me, you know? Someone you can count on. So I guess I'm asking for a second chance to do better. I really want to do better, you know? All around, but especially, with you. I want you to be proud of me. Is that so bad? I don't know, but I do want that.

Oh, yeah. Let's see. You dive in front of everybody, and take a bullet to save us. Yeah, you're a real goof off. You silly goose, of course I'm proud of you!!!!!!!
So, did you like your little gifts? Sorry, I didn't really have a lot of money to spend, but I wanted to give you something special... best I could do. In case you didn't get what I was saying, You're pretty like the rose, sweet and light like the mousse, and... well, I'll let you figure out the bear, ok? Right. Major corny I know. Sorry.

I guess what I'm saying is your one special woman, Kira. I know right now, like me, that you're kind of between relationships. But I know that won't last long. Not for you, anyway. Anyone that can't see how special you are is pretty blind, you know? They'd be pretty lucky, you know, to get you!

What're you saying, Buffy? Do you want to be lucky? Can you make it more vague here? Or maybe I'm just not reading this right? Kira shakes her head, confused. Her emotions are all over the place at the moment. All you'd have to say is boo, Buffy!
Ok, major mushy now. I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes. I just wanted to thank you. So, thanks.

Buffy.

Ps. The bear got the hugs. Lucky bear!

Kira re-reads the letter several times, but each reading only makes her more confused. What does she want? Why can't she just say what she feels? What DOES she feel? Oh, and you're being Ms. Honesty here, Kira? Sighing, she walks out of the office, still holding the letter. Think maybe if I ask her, she'll tell me? Nawwww. Probably not. For a moment, Kira considers just not dealing with it, letting it slide. It's easier that way, not having to face your feelings, just letting things roll along. Best not to make waves, not to make something out of nothing. Just let it go...
Then she gets this look. The same look she gets when she has to face any difficult situation. Kira's not a go with the flow girl. She's a doer, a get to it, get it done girl. That's part of the reason Faith chose her to be her assistant/ COO. Kira is a get in your face and dig out the truth kind of person. Some would say she's a Type-A personality; they'd be wrong. She has a softness, a vulnerability that softens the driven image. She's not obnoxious, but she doesn't just take it in the gut.
Kira heads for the staircase, determined to confront Buffy and find out just exactly what's she playing at here. Ok, Buffy. You think you can just get away with confusing me, huh? You think just because you're cute and sexy and all that I'm just going to ... what? Moon over you? Well, get this, girl. You might be the slayer, but I'm the... well, I'm damned tough, too! I don't take no crap from nobody... even if you've got these dynamite hazel eyes that make me go all swoony when you look at me. STOP THAT!!! THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF HERE!!! Kira mounts the stair as if she's going into a hostile meeting of the board; her jaw is set, her mouth is a straight line, her eyes look hard and determined. I'm getting to the bottom of this, whatever it is . Maybe you only want to be friends. Fine. I don't like that idea, but hey, I'll live with it! I'm strong, I can be your friend. That's cool. Or maybe, you want more. But you got this googly squishy all tied up in knots feelings about Faith. Well, what's that about, anyway? I mean, what does Faith got that I haven't got. Oh, yeah, sure, she's got the superpower thing, but that's so not important, you know? And sure, she walks into a room, and everybody like rivets on her, because even when she's dressed like corporate America, she's got this sensual sexy thing. But, hey, blondie, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty damned sexy too! You'd know that if you'd only open your eyes and look at me. Arrgh! This is stupid. Don't care what she decides, but that little pipsqueak of a slayer isn't going to go around dragging my heart around making ME crazy. Uh, uh. I'm ... well, I'm just better than that !!!!!!I
Kira marches up to Buffy's door, and starts knocking rapidly on it.

" Hey, Buffy ... open up. We gotta talk! I wanna know what you're playing at here! C'mon, open up. I got your little surprise, and this letter, and I want to know exactly what you're trying to say here. I don't like vague, and I don't play games. So, open this door now!"
Kira keeps rapping on the door, but there's no response.
" You can't hide in there, Buffy. I'm not going away. I don't believe in oblique messages and vague , crossed signals. You ought to know that by now. I'm a pretty plain, straight shooting person. I don't go beating around the bush about these things, you know."
" Kira?"
" C'mon, Buffy, I know you're in there. Get out here. Face me. Don't be going and doing things like that, then try to pretend that there's nothing going on. I know you've got this ... thing for Faith, but hey, I don't care. I want answers, and I want them now, so open this door!"
" Kira!"
" I love you, Buffy Summers, and I don't give a rat's patootie who knows it! I'm willing to put it out there, so don't be a coward. Get your butt out here, and talk to me!!!"
" KIRA !!!!"
Kira, finally hearing the voice behinds her, nearly jumps out of her skin. She turns, and sees Willow leaning against her doorjamb, smiling at her. She blushes about 12 shades of red.
" Willow!" Kira croaks out, feeling suddenly entirely foolish. " How long have you been there?" Well, don't you feel clever now, Kira?
" Oh, pretty much from the..." Willow raps furiously on her door " ... part"
" Oh" Kira says quietly. Embarrassed much, Kira?
" I was just going to tell you that Buffy left. I heard her go out awhile ago...guess you figured that out by now, though, huh?" Willow does her best to suppress a giggle. Kira looks totally mortified. For a second, Willow almost forgets her own problems.
Kira, til now, hasn't gotten a good look at Willow, being surprised then embarrassed, but she takes a look now, and she's a little taken aback. Willow looks somewhat pale, her freckles standing out more than usual. Her eyes look hollow, and have dark rings under them. More, even though she's smiling, her eyes look sad.
" I... uhhh...I'm sorry I bothered you, Willow, " Kira says, starting to back away, " I... guess you're not feeling well... I'll just go now..." She starts to walk away.
" Kira, what letter?" Willow calls out.
" Ummm... it's not really important, Willow, it can wait. You just rest, ok? I hope you're feeling better!"
" WHOA! You can't just come up here, trying to knock down Buffy's door, and go on and say you love my best friend, and then just walk away like nothing happened, you know. Get your butt back here, Kira!"
" Oh, you heard that?" Kira grins, ruefully, under Willow's gaze. " ... of course you did. Hey, it's .... It'll wait, ok? You've been ill, it's not a big thing..."
" Kira Hearne!" Willow's voice gets its bossy tone, and she puts on her resolve face. " This is my resolve face. You know what that means!" Seeing Kira's puzzled expression, Willow continues, " ok, maybe you don't. It means I'm resolved to get to the bottom of this, and I'll hound you to the ends of the earth until you tell me. So, what? You want to just tell me, or do I get the hounds?"

" Willow, you look..."
" Yeah, ok, I don't look great, I get that ok?" Willow says, a little grimly, " I'm not sick. I've been having some trouble sleeping... now, get over here before I turn you into a newt, or something." Willow grins, and this time, the grin reaches her eyes. " Now, gimme!" Willow holds her hand out for the letter.
" Really, Willow, it can wait..." Kira's feeling a little stupid over the whole thing now, and just wants to go away.
" Is that a fact? Didn't sound like that a couple of minutes ago when you were beating down Buffy's door. Now, gimme!" Willow waggles her hand at Kira, expectantly, " don't know if Faith or Buffy told you, but there's a unspoken rule around here. Don't mess with the witch!"
Kira puts the letter in Willow's hand, who snatches it away quickly before Kira can change her mind. She scans over the letter, then looks up at Kira. She reads it again, more slowly, and the little grin on her face broadens.
"What?" Kira says, nervously, seeing Willow's expression, "What??"
Willow looks up at Kira, and in a sing-song voice sings : " Kira 'n Buffy, sittin' in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G ..."
" Stop it!" Kira blushes prettily, " That's... where do you get that from?"
" Oh, you didn't mean it when you said ' I love you Buffy Summers, and I don't give a rat's patootie who knows it' ? ". Seeing Kira's blush, she holds out the letter, " it's all right here, Kira."
" Oh, c'mon, Willow. she's about as clear as fog In that letter..."
" uh... huh... look, Kira, I've known Buffy for longer than anybody. She's my best friend, and I'm telling you, this is about as close to a love letter as you're going to get out of her...until she knows how you feel, that is. I love Buffy, don't get me wrong, but she's all about the beating around the bush. Especially since every romance she's had? They've left her, or died. She's kinda... forget that, she's totally gun shy." Willow looks at the letter and quotes, " You're pretty like the rose, and sweet and light like the mousse. Bear? What bear?" Willow looks at Kira.
" She got me this stuffed bear. It's ... well, it's all dressed up in a business suit, and it has a briefcase with my name on it..."
"Oh, " Willow looks puzzled for a second. " Oh!" She gets it. " Like Mr. Gordo!"
" Huh?"
" Her stuffed pig. She's had it forever, and she still cuddles it... oh my god..." Willow goes to the end of the letter. " Oh...of course! God, she's jonesing for some cuddling I think. Know anyone that might..." Willow looks at Kira, who blushes again. "Thought so!"
" How do you get that from that?" Kira points at the letter.
" Buffy's all about the cryptic, at times. I'm afraid you've got your work cut out for you, Kira, " Willow says, trying her best to look serious, but her grin keeps giving her away. " She... I think the last year or two have been harder on her than everyone thinks... even I didn't get it... not til that night when she went all wacky and ... well, you know..."
" Yeah... I know, " Kira says, her tone a little glum, " Faith. She's got the major jonesing for Faith."
" Yeah, " Willow says, not sounding all that happy, " I know." She brightens, " but I'm beginning to thinks she realizes that maybe that's not going to happen."
Kira catches something in Willow's tone, " Of course it's not going to happen. Faith loves you, Willow! "
" Uh-huh," Willow says, sounding unconvinced, " I don't think Faith has those same feelings for Buffy. I don't believe so, anyway..."
" She doesn�t, " Kira says firmly. She grabs Willow's hand, " She doesn't. I've spent over a year with Faith, and the only person she ever talked about loving is you, Willow. Honest! "
" Maybe... before I tried to kill her, " Willow lip begins to quiver.
Kira's eyes go wide.
" She won't talk to me, Kira. I mean, really talk to me. I don't mean like " Hi, how're you doing," that kind of stuff... she avoids me, I swear she finds somewhere else to be when ... if I can even get her alone." Willow pulls her hand back from Kira. " I think maybe I'll..." She looks towards her room.
" Willow, please, talk to me. Hiding away isn't going to help," Kira says softly. Willow just sighs, and looks at her with infinitely sad eyes. She turns and walks into her room.
Kira follows her, and almost gets hit in the face when Willow starts to close the door.
" Kira, I know you mean to help, but I really need to be alone right now..."
" No. I'm sorry, but no. Too much being alone, too much hiding feelings and hiding things. Too many damned secrets around here, " Kira says, her mind made up.
Willow sits on the bed, looking down. Kira sits beside her, and puts an arm around her. She looks up, and notices the mirror on the dresser is broken.
" What happened?" She asks Willow. Willow just shakes her head.
" Evil, she's evil, I can't stand looking at her!" Willow talks about herself in the third person, " she sits there, mocking me, taunting me... all the time... and she ... oh god, I nearly killed Faith." Willow starts to shake. " I'm evil, Kira. God, I'm evil."
" Shhh, shhh, " Kira tries to soothe her, " It's ok, Willow, just tell me what happened..."
Willow bites her lip to get control, and slowly, haltingly, tells Kira about the night Buffy was shot. What happened at the hotel, what she did as Faith when she was Dark Willow. She also tells her about the garden incident, when they went to get Buffy at the hospital. How scared she was when she saw the writing on the ground. How she scrubbed it out. How she came to smash the mirrors in her room, because she sees ' her ' looking back at her, mocking and taunting her. How she hasn't slept more than an hour at a time for the last week.
"... I look at her now, Kira, and I can see the fear in her eyes, " Willow says slowly, " she fears me Kira, and that's what hurts the most. I could take anger, or even... hate, I guess... but knowing what I did makes her fear me..." Willow turns away, scrunching herself up, trying to hide from herself, " the worst is the ... coldness. I can feel her withdrawing from me. I know I deserve it, but it's so...so..." Willow leans in on her for support.
Kira looks at the woman in her arms, and she shuts her eyes. Her mouth becomes a grim line. I won't... I can't let her...

"Willow?" Kira says gently disengaging Willow. " Listen to me."
Willow sits limply, head hanging. She doesn't respond.
" Willow, I need you to listen to me, " Kira says firmly, raising Willow's chin and staring her in the face.
" What?" Willow says despairingly, lost in a murk of self accusation and anger. Right now listening to Kira's buck up and don't despair talk is really the last thing she wants to hear.
" I didn't know what happened that night, when I was with Buffy in the hospital, and I'm not going to happy crap you and say it doesn't have a little to do with Faith's attitude, but it's not the main reason. Not by a long shot." Kira looks at Willow solemnly. " You have to promise that you won't tell anyone else what I'm going to tell you. I can get seriously dead if this gets about. We clear?"
Willow sees the seriousness of Kira's expression. " I won't tell anyone, Kira. But you don't have to..."
" No, I meant what I said before. There has been way too many secrets going on around here, and ...that has to change. At least with you and Faith. You belong together, even IF she's too stubborn sometimes for her own good."
" Lehane is old, you're aware of that, right?" Willow nods, and Kira continues, " It's as old, and some say, older, than the Watchers. I've done a lot of research on the origins of Lehane, and what I've found is that first of all, the Legend of the Slayer is not exactly accurate. The three old men, wise men, that supposedly imbued the essence of a demon into the first Slayer, the primitive? Not right. The first slayer had the essence of Demon in her, but she was raped by an incorporeal demon, who transferred it's essence to create yet another hybrid on this earth( the old ones were fast disappearing at the this time.) But something went wrong with his plan, because the Primitive, the first slayer, was a holy vessel of the Powers that Be. She was of us, Lehane. The first worshippers of the Powers. The Slayer is unique amongst all others. She is a mixture of the dark and the light, order and chaos, good and evil. No one knew exactly what the result would be, and that's why the Watchers were created. To watch over her, train her, turn her towards the light. At one time, early on, the watchers were part of us, Lehane."
" Lehane was, and still is, to a great extent, a matriarchal society, run, but not ruled, by women. We were worshippers of the Power that Be, and the natural world around us, the gifts we felt from those that protected and helped us. Gaia is our symbol, our liaison to those that cannot be understood. This should be somewhat familiar to you, as Wicca is very much based upon the teachings of Lehane." Willow nods, beginning to understand that Kira is not all she seems to be; she's very much more than that. " We were The Powers chosen, the ones to lead the forces of light in the final battle. Some of us received great powers; more were imbued with the warrior spirit, to be the army against chaos. Our society was orderly, peaceful, and harmonious. We all had common cause in those times."
" That changed with the coming of the Slayer. Here was one that had never come before, had never been before. A child of the light and darkness, a great force for good... or for evil. There was no way of telling at first which way she would go. And yes, the slayer is always a 'she', because it's found that in the end, women are the best warriors. They are not only brave, and strong, and resourceful, but they know instinctively when to fight, and when not. They are more connected to the universe, to the earth, and all that flows in this thing we call reality."
" The Slayer, though she wasn't known by that title at the time, was charged to the keeping of the Sanctus simultas, The holy shamans. It's here that the troubles, as they're known, began. As is all too common now, men just don't like women telling them what to do, " Kira smiles ruefully, knowing all too well the truth of that statement," they chafed under the leadership of the clan, and slowly, they began to break away. More and more, they explored, and began to depend on, the darker magicks, using the powers to enhance themselves and the slayer. Sad thing is, a touch of evil is in all of us. Corruption starts small. Often, it's done in the name of good intentions. But in the end, corruption is corruption. And The Watchers, as they became known, became corrupt."
" If it had just been the Watchers, it wouldn't have mattered. We could've folded them back into the clan. But they gathered forces, amongst the Lehane, and outsiders. A rift formed in the clan; those dedicated to the old ways, those who bet the farm, so to speak, on the new mystic warrior. Passions grew, factions grew, families were torn apart. The cohesion of the clan disintegrated, and I guess what happened was inevitable."
" What happened?" Willow asks, but she pretty well already knew the answer.
" What could happen? We went to war," Kira's face becomes grim, " it's not like the war you know, the good guys vs. the bad guys. Whatever your perspective, it was family against itself, fighting for who was 'right'. Good guys vs. other good guys. Oh yeah, according to the Lehane, it was the Watcher's fault. They were, after all, corrupt. Right? But the thing is? Not that easy. The Lehane was so busy condemning the Watchers, and their practices, that they failed to see their own rot from within. The lords of Chaos must've had a good laugh." Kira's tone is bitter.
" The war lasted a long time. Too long. It became a hodgepodge of carnage, as family turned against family, and often, family against itself. I guess the closest thing you have to it is your Civil War. All to prove who was right, and who was wrong. Too many good people were lost to the sword, all because of ... the Slayer."
" Isn't that just a bit on the hypocritical? She didn't want this war, did she? She didn't want to be what she was. She was raped, not her choice, you know!" Willow strangely finds herself getting emotional over this. " Seems to me that it was like most religious wars, things done in a God's name, all because people don't like difference, can't take something new, and will kill it before it's got a chance to even exist. Easy to blame the Slayers for your own evil."
" You're right of course, " Kira smiles ruefully, " guessing my bias is showing. I really am working on that. but that's how I was raised... and it's not easy to overcome it. Took meeting Faith to understand exactly what the truth was. The ugliness is always there, right in the heart. So ready to come out, and we're all too eager to let it out. We don't need but the thinnest excuse to fight each other, kill each other over some ridiculous concept or credo."
" Who won?" Willow asks.
" Won? Goddess, there were no winners in that... mess, " Kira says, almost angrily, " The clan Lehane finally cobbled together some of the factions, and by sheer numbers, they defeated the coalition the Watcher's had put together. The costs of this ' holy' war were beyond price, however. So many were lost, so much rancor and hatred was revealed. In the end, the ' victors' had nothing but ashes to taste over their victory. It was then that the 'victors' swore that never again would the clan engage in such confrontation, not directly, anyway."
" But of course, it didn't end there, because too many of the best and brightest were put to death on the charge of fomenting the rebellion. In the end, the factions that went with the Watchers were tossed out of the clan. The Slayer went with them, and the Watchers did a spell, a curse I guess, that no member of the Lehane could ever again be a Slayer. That accounts for our mark. The essence of the slayer, that passes from generation to generation bypasses anyone born with the Lehane mark upon them."
Willow looks mystified. " But ... Faith...?"
" Right. What about Faith. She has the clan marking on her, yet she's a Slayer. How did that happen?" Kira looks slightly amused at Willow's confusion, " that's where the prophecy of Aaron comes in."
" Ok, heard some about this " prophecy of Aaron" stuff from a lot of sources. Still feeling like watching TV with no picture. What's that about, anyway?"
" Four hundred years ago, a faction of the Lehane came over to America from the old country. They were sanctioned by the clan, but weren't really popular amongst the clan as a whole. This was the group that Faith's family belonged. They were led by a dreamer called Aaron. He had a vision about the coming battles, and also about a leader of the Lehane. A leader, born of demon and human, destined to be a Slayer. She would figure in the coming battle, for either great good or great evil. She was destined to kill her demon progenitor, and to unite the factions within the clan. More, she was to bring Lehane back into the active fight of evil. And through her would come a new line, which would spawn the one who would lead the clan in victory in the final battle."
" A new line?" Willow looks at Kira intently, " That means Faith...?"
" Someday will have a child, at least, according to the prophecy..." Kira nods.
" But... I mean... she's going to have a baby... that means... " Willow's face falls.
" Oh, come on now, Willow. this isn't the 17^th century, you know. Doesn't take a man ... at least, not the whole man... for a woman to have a child... only requires a donor... .Don't think Faith is gonna be hanging with any beefcake any time soon. She doesn't seem to swing that way anymore. I think you ruined her for guys..." Kira laughs at Willow.
Willow blushes pink.
" I quote, from a knowledgeable source, " Once you fall for Willow, you stay fallen" ," Kira teases Willow.
" I'm so gonna kill Buffy one of these days, " Willow mutters. She looks at Kira, " I still not getting it, however. She's the prophesied leader ... kind of the Chosen Chosen one, already. Why did the clan send someone to kill her? That's not making really good sense to me."
" That wasn't the clan. At least, not officially, " Kira says, quietly, " There's a faction in the clan, unfortunately a large faction, that thinks Aaron's prophecy is wrong, or at best, that the " chosen one" as you put it, is going to be evil. They have some influence on the board, and that's why Faith is being called back to answer for her actions, " Kira's face goes grim again, " some of the more radical elements of the faction sent the gunman. They want to kill Faith, end the prophecy right now."
" They better not try, " Willow says, her own anger rising, " or they're gonna run into one pissed off witch..." . Her anger dissipates however, when she realizes she almost did the job for them. She looks at Kira, and notes she's turned away, as if she doesn't want Willow to see her face... as if she's hiding something.
" Wait, what else?" Willow asks, " what you told me, doesn't explain why you think that the way Faith's acting towards me is not my fault. What aren't you telling me, Kira ? "
" Nothing! " Kira answers too quickly. She sees Willow's not buying it. " I can't tell you." Willow is standing now, looking down on Kira. " I can't. She'll kill me if I tell you!!! "
" Kira! " Willow's voice gets a hard edge to it, " maybe you forgot what I did to Faith? Do you think it's a good idea to get me angry? "
" I thinking it's not a good idea to get either of you angry, so I'm going on record as saying... I don't know."
" You don't know? " Willow's voice sounds very skeptical.
" Not for sure..." Kira trails off, seeing Willow's face grow increasingly pales, as red blotches appear on her skin. She feels her heart beating rapidly... in her throat.
" Tell me, Kira, " Willow leans in closer to Kira.
" I can't ... I told you, she'll...." Kira gets that far. Willow throws an energy bolt at the dresser, smashing it. Kira's face goes white. " Willow... please..."
" Faith's not here, and I'm not going to tell her. So now, tell me, Kira!"
Kira looks up, her face defiant, " I'll tell you, but not because you're threatening me, Willow. Get that clear. I don't care how scary you are." She thrusts her chin out, her face set. " I've seen a lot in my day, Willow. A lot that would make you crap your pants. So don't even try to threaten me, clear?" She stares into Willow's eyes.
Willow blinks first. She backs off, and lowers her arm.
" God, I'm sorry..." Willow says, truly repentant. " I... lost control... "
" I noticed, " Kira says, looking at the splinters that were once a dresser. She looks back at Willow. " You really love her, don't you? "
" Do you really have to ask that? "
" No, I don't. Just remind yourself of that when I tell you what I'm going to tell you."
" Kira, you're scaring me now! " Willow exclaims.
" Not as scared as I am, Willow, " Kira says, " There is an ancient law in the clan, called the Cammaragh. It's a right of any clan member, but it hasn't been invoked in centuries."
" What the heck is this right of camaro?" Willow asks
" Cammaragh. It's trial by battle. It's the final appeal when someone, a clan member or leader, is being tried by the board. And, no matter how they pretty it up, this ' meeting ' Faith has with the board? It's a trail. We figure, Faith and I, that she's going to be stripped of her leadership. More, she'll probably be thrown out of the clan, and she can't... won't allow that. Not as long as she's got a breath in her body!"
" I don't understand? Why? If she loses the perks, we'll get by. We'll still do the good fight..."
Kira looks at her questioningly, " She didn't tell you then?"
Willow shakes her head, in confusion. Tell me what?
" This is more than just the clan and the prophecy, Willow. A lot more, for Faith. She has a vision, and an obligation... she feels she owes..." she pauses, thinking about how to put it. " You know how Faith felt.. .feels... about Angel, right?"
" Yes... she's very fond of him, I know that," Willow says.
" It's more than that, Willow. She feels, rightly or wrongly, that she owes him her life. When Angel died fighting Wolfram and Hart, she locked herself in her room for three days. When she emerged, the room was toast. But she vowed that she wouldn't let his death be for nothing. She has a plan, Willow. To bring the resources of the clan into play. To make a counter to Wolfram and Hart, at least here on earth. TO have an organization with the resources and power to look them in the eye, then spit in it. She plans to fight fire with fire, and she wants the matches, too!"
" Ok, I get it. She wants all the marbles. I'm with her on it. So, why should I be... wait, what exactly does this Cammaragh mean, anyway? What does it entail?"
"As I said, it's a last resort. A way to prove one's worthiness. It's a battle, Willow. The challenger, that's Faith, agrees to battle the champion of the clan."
" So, she beats the guy, and it's over, right? She's won?" Willow is getting a little suspicious again.
" It's a battle to the death, Willow. She either kills the champion, who's human, or she dies."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Los Angeles International Airport
Now.
Willow pulls into the parking lot, looking for somewhere to park.
"What're you doing?" Faith asks, snapping out of her reverie, " You're just supposed to drop me off at the terminal."
" I'm going in with you, " Willow says, quietly but firmly.
" Now, that's just stupid! You can't go up the concourse with me... not with the new security regs. You can't see me off, " Faith says, " and anyway, why would you want to? Just drop me off by the terminal, like we agreed..."
" Shut up, Faith, " Willow says, the anger evident in her voice. " If I can't go through the concourse, well ok. I'll stand with you at the check in counter... whatever. Just, if you think you can just hop out of the car, wave and walk out my life... forget it, it's not happening! "
" I don't get you," Faith's anger begins to rise, " I thought we had this all out. You told me, if I do this, we're through. Now you want to see me off? What the hell is going on in your mind?!?!? "
" Just this. When you're on that plane, flying away from me, when you're alone, and you think of me, I want this to be the last thing you remember."
With that, before Faith can even react, Willow grabs Faith by her coat lapels, pulls her in and kisses her hard and deeply on the mouth. The kiss is hot, expressing her anger with Faith, her anguish at Faith leaving, and her love, her deep and utter love, for Faith.
Faith is so surprised, so taken aback, that she doesn't respond right away. Before she really can, Willow's broken the kiss.
" Now, let's get your luggage and go."
Willow hops out of the car, slamming the door after herself.
Faith sits there for a moment, touching her lips.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Los Angeles, CA.
Hyperion Hotel
3 day prior
Faith's room

" GODDAMMIT!"
Buffy lies on her back, again, staring at the ceiling.
" Get up, B. You gotta do better than this. Times almost up, and you're still falling for that sucker kick. You gotta defend yourself against it!"
Faith stands over Buffy, who's lying on the mat in Faith's training gym in her room. Her hands are on her hips, and she's glaring down at Buffy, her expression impatient.
" Well, excuse me, F, " Buffy says, her own temper razor thin. " Not all of us had the advantage of having an Aikido master, a Tae Kwon Do expert, and various other martial arts trainers. Some of us aint got money running out of their asses, ya know?" Buffy launches herself to her feet, taking a stance.
"We've been over this, oh, what? A thousand million times. You leave a gaping hole on your left. My dead grandmother could kick your ass in that hole. Now, start concentrating."
Faith launches into an attack on Buffy. Buffy gamely takes the defensive, blocking kick and punch, but again, Faith manages to get in on her blind spot, and Buffy finds herself flying. She lands hard on her butt. She sits there, glaring at Faith. Faith sighs, and comes over, reaching out to give Buffy a hand up. Buffy grabs the hand, and launches Faith over her shoulder. She jumps up, and before Faith can recover, she lands on her, pinning her to the mat.

" HA!" Buffy crows.
It's short lived however, because Faith does a buck, throwing Buffy off, and quickly reverses positions with her. She stares down at Buffy, now pinned to the mat, and smirks.
" So, I guess that was your big move, huh?" Faith mocks.
" No, this is, " Buffy bites Faith's hand.
" OWWW!" Faith momentarily relaxes her pin, and Buffy throws her off. Faith finds herself face down on the mat, and a tiny little blonde slayer riding her back. Pissed, she bucks Buffy off again, and this time, pins Buffy's neck with her forearm.
" That's cheating, Buffy!" Faith growls.
" Yeah, well, if it works, and it gets the baddie off my ass, it's fine by me, " Buffy grins, gasping a little for breath.
" And yet the baddie, moi in this case, has you pinned once again!" Faith grumbles, holding the wriggling slayer under her.
Buffy manages to get her legs free, and brings them up, grabbing Faith around the shoulder area. She pulls on her, releasing the stranglehold on her neck. She pushes off, rolls, and gets Faith down, pinned both shoulders to the mat. She straddles Faith at the waist, and grins down at her.
"Well, she who laughs last, " She leans over, and gives Faith a kiss on the forehead. She jumps off Faith, and walks away, an extra little jauntiness to her stride.
"Lucky, you just got lucky, " Faith says, standing up.
" No, that's not it at all, " Buffy turns back to Faith, and bows. " I've gotten better, and it's because of you. I'm faster, and I'm gonna work on that weakness, ok? But I mean it, Faith. I'm in awe of you. You've...you're something else! "
Faith is taken aback somewhat. She finds herself flushing to the praise. I never expected that to come outta Buffy's mouth... not in a million! Grinning, she turns around, and stops dead. Willow is leaning against the doorjamb to Faith's room. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and she's staring at Faith wrathfully.
" Hey, Willow! " Buffy waves seeing her leaning on the door. Then she catches her expression. " Ah, well... maybe not then"
" Buffy, do you think you could leave me and Faith alone for awhile?" Willow asks, her tone somewhat on the cold side. " We need to talk."
" Right. Feeling kinda sweaty and stinky and bruised. Maybe needing a shower... now." Buffy quickly makes her exit.
Faith turns away, towards the punching bag hanging from the bag. She approaches it, and starts hitting it in rhythm. Her fists start flying, hitting the bag faster and faster.
Willow walks in, but stops well short of the gym area.
" So, your not going to even say boo to me, then?" Willow asks, her tone edgy.
" What's... to say?" Faith keeps punching the bag, not turning around.
" Tell me why?" Willow says, approaching Faith. " Why you want to commit suicide. So I can understand it."
"Are you doing... drugs now, Red? Where'd you get... that idea?" Her fists fly faster, matching her frustration.
" Oh, I dunno. Maybe it's the whole going off to fight an entire organization that seems to be against you. Knowing that you'll be on their turf. They can kill you any time they like. Oh, and not taking any backup." Willow's tone is brittle.
" Ha, ha, Red. You're funny. This is my organization, remember? I run it ... in charge, all that?" Faith stops punching the bag and holds it still. She turns to Willow, " It's going to be ok, got it? It's just a fucking business meeting."
" Just a business meeting, right," Willow looks at the punching bag. " that's why for the last few weeks you've been training harder than ever. That's why you've been training with Buffy. Because of course those are things you do to prepare for a business meeting, right?"
" I'm going to be away. I don't know what's out there, what might come for you when I'm away. I'm just getting Buffy prepped to watch over you and Kira while I'm gone. That's all," Faith starts punching on the bag again.
" Faith, exactly what breed of moron do you think I am? " Willow snaps, " I was there when shooter boy confessed, don't you remember? It was me that got him to confess, or did that slip your mind?"
" Yeah, it slipped my mind, " Faith holds up her arm. Faint traces of the scars from that night are still visible. She turns back to the bag.
Willow's expression goes tight, her words coming out as if forced, " How many times can I say I'm sorry, Faith? How many times will you bring that up, to make me hurt again? "
" Forget it, it doesn't matter, " Faith says, brusquely. She starts punching the bag faster.
" Liar. It does matter," Willow puts herself next to the bag. Faith barely avoids hitting her, " because, you make it matter. You're using it to push me away... again." Faith tries to go back to the bag, but Willow stands in front of it. Faith gently as possible moves her out of the way, but Willow comes right back. " Look at me, damn it. Don't ignore me. Stop trying to build walls between us!!!"
" I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Red. There are no walls here, unless you're building them. If you think I'm ignoring you, I'm sorry. But you gotta remember, " Faith turns away, starting to walk towards the practice dummy, " I've got to be in front of those morons that run the board in a few days from now. I've got to convince them I'm getting the job done, and unless I do, I'm out. Do you get it? Out!! Everything I've worked for? Gone up in smoke. So, right now? I don't have time for the touchy-feely-get-touch-with�your�inner-moppet crap. I've got to be ready. Oh, and this aint helping!"
" Fine, I'll leave you to your prep for your... presentation?" Willow's tone is mocking. She starts to walk away, then stops, as if something suddenly occurred to me. " Just tell me one thing, Faith."
" What?" Faith asks, impatiently, her temper on the edge.
"What's the Cammaragh?"
Faith freezes. She slowly turns to Willow, a frown deeply etched on her face.
" Where'd you hear that term?" Her tone is icy.
" Cammaragh? What is it Faith?" Willow feigns ignorance.
" Nothing, it's nothing," Faith turns back to the dummy, feeling relieved.
" Really? Gee, I heard it was a, oh... how do you put it? Oh yeah... duel to the death!" Willow's tone turns sarcastic again, " Gee, I've been in lots of board meetings, Faith. Even in the worst of them, never had one of those. Must be doing something wrong, huh? "
Faith doesn't even look at her. She storms over to the phone, and picks it up. She dials a number, and waits.
" Kira? I'm in my suite. Get your ass up here, now! You've got some explaining to do!" She slams down the phone.
" You leave Kira out of this. She was just trying to ...."
" I don't give a rat's ass what she was trying to do! " Faith explodes, " She knows better than that. I'm gonna wring her neck when she gets up here! "
" Don't you dare touch a hair on that girl's head, Faith Lehane, or..." Willow mutters a spell, and gestures, and suddenly Faith is flying through the air. She hits the wall, and sticks like glue. After her initial shock, Faith takes on an attitude. She smirks.
" Or what, Red? You'll kill me? Maybe this time you'll get it right, whattya think?"
" Won't work, Faith. You can't get me angry enough to do it. I'm on to you, " Willow gestures, and Faith is gently lowered to the ground. But she's still stuck to the wall. She struggles, but no matter what she does, she can't move away from it.
" Gonna let me go?"
" When I'm done, " Willow says firmly.
Faith just rolls her eyes.
" You can't do it, Faith. You can't hurt me enough, or ignore me enough, or anger me enough to make me walk away from you. Not again. It worked once, and it took me a long time to figure out what you were doing. I'm smarter than that now, " Willow walks over to Faith. She touches her cheek, and lightly caresses it. " I love you Faith. No matter how you try to shut me out, try to hurt me, I'm going to keep on loving you. Doesn't mean I won't get mad at you, though, " Willow withdraws her hand, " especially when your doing something stupid, like now. Angry as I'm feeling, it won't quench my love for you. Nothing will. Ever. Guess I'm stupid that way, huh?" She leans in, and tenderly kisses Faith on the lips. She withdraws, and turns away, putting some distance between them. " the only thing that'll make me leave, Faith? If you give up. Don't you get it yet, Faith? You're only alone if you want to be. You don't have to do this alone."
" No, Willow, you don't get it. I've got to do this. I've got no choice, " Faith says quietly, determined. "And I've got to do it alone."
" It won't change things, Faith, " Willow's voice carries a sad note, " It won't bring him back."
Faith just stares at her, tight lipped.
" You think I don't know?" Willow says softly, " what this is really all about? You want to honor him, baby, because you loved him." Willow smiles at Faith for the first time since she arrived." I know, not in a romantic way, but he was special to you. Because he was the first to really believe in you, wasn't he? He never gave up on you. And, he didn't want anything back from you, did he? He didn't coddle you, he made you work for your redemption. But even at your worst, even when you tried to kill him, he didn't stop believing in you, in what you could be."
" You know the fight was important to him, and you want to make it bigger. Expand it out, take them on head first. Because you think that's what he'd do. But it's not about the money, or the power, or the rest. It's something else. Even when he was in the belly of the beast, he remembered that." Willow walks over to Faith, standing right in front of her. " It's about what's in here" she points at Faith's heart. " that's what it's always been about. He wasn't a champion because he saved lots of people or that he fought evil. Evil will always be with us. He was a champion because he lived his life as if the world was what it should be." She leans in closer, whispering. " He didn't forget the value of his loved ones. I hope you don't, honey."
" Willow, this is my fight. No one can fight it for me."
" I know, baby. But that doesn't mean you have to fight it alone."
Faith looks at her. Her gaze is far away, somewhere else but here.
" Yes, I do," Faith says simply.
" Then I hope it's not all for nothing, " Willow sighs wearily. She turns and walks away, heading for the door. When she reaches it, she turns back, and gestures, releasing Faith. " Should I be here if you get back?"
" When I get back," Faith says, quietly, " When."
" Should I? "
" Do you really need to ask? "
" Yes, I do, " Willow says. She turns, and walks out the door, shutting it behind her.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Los Angeles International Airport
Bradley International Terminal
Now.
Willow watches as Faith, having cleared security and customs, walks towards the concourse. Her carryon is slung over her shoulder, and she strides confidently down the concourse, away from Willow. She halts for a moment, as if she is going to turn around. But she only squares her shoulders, and walks on, not looking back.
Willow wonders if she'll ever see Faith again. It hurts to the core of her soul that this may be the last time she'll ever see her. She turns to leave when she realizes she forgot to say something to Faith. Something important. Something she doesn't want Faith to forget. She quickly turns around, but Faith has disappeared into the crowd.
Closing her eyes, she images Faith in her mind. She sees her walking along the concourse to her gate.
I love you Faith, don't ever forget that!
She hopes Faith 'heard' her, like before. Turning, she starts to leave the terminal.
I know, comes the reply.
Head down, Willow leaves the terminal.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To be continued.
- 23
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- 25
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Independence