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Both Sides Now	By : addielogan Category: BtVS AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 6136 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Dawn managed to go another three days
without seeing Andrew again. Her dreams hadn't been bothering her, and although
there was still that nagging sensation that something was off, she managed to
push it back. Instead, she tried to focus on other things, things that didn't
bring to mind bittersweet memories of those precious few days she and Andrew
had spent together in Rome.
When she did see Andrew again, she got more
of a shock than she had when she'd walked into Giles's office and found him
standing there. He was with a woman she didn't recognize, and from the way her
arm was wrapped around him, it was clear they were a couple.
"I'm prettier than her," was Dawn's first thought, though she quickly pushed
it away, reminding herself not to be catty. The other woman was shorter than
Dawn, and a bit plumper, though not so much as to really be considered
overweight. Her blue eyes were spaced a little too widely apart and her teeth
weren't completely straight, but they weren't horrible either. Her blonde hair
was pulled back in a ponytail, but Dawn could see that it didn't have nearly
the body that hers did. It was shiny though, and it looked like it would be
soft to the touch.
Andrew's eyes widened slightly when he saw
Dawn coming towards them, and Dawn put a little extra hip-swish in her step,
just because she could. Andrew cleared his throat before giving a small,
"Hey, Dawn," in way of greeting.
Dawn couldn't help the thrill that went
through her when the sound of her name sparked recognition in the other woman's
eyes and her expression became something that could definitely be called
jealousy. Andrew had talked about her enough that his new girlfriend was
jealous. "Hah. So there, blondie," Dawn thought with a hint of
satisfaction.
"Hey, Andrew," Dawn replied with a
slow smile, knowing it was the sort that tended to make men drool. "Who's
this?"
"I'm Cynthia Bergstrom. His fianc�e,"
the woman responded quickly, being sure to flash the diamond on her finger.
Dawn didn't let the way that affected her
show, despite the fact that at the sound of the word "fianc�e" she'd
felt as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. Instead, she plastered
a big smile on her face and said, "Really? Well, congratulations to the
both of you. I hope you have a long and happy marriage."
"Or that you trip over your veil and
break your neck in the middle of the ceremony, either one," added the
tiny voice in the back of Dawn's mind, but she decided it was best to keep that
thought to herself. So what if Andrew had moved on
completely? It wasn't like she cared. She'd moved on, too�
"Um, thanks," Andrew said,
shifting a little. Despite the impassive look on his face, Dawn knew his body
language enough to know when he was nervous, and she repressed a little smile
at that. There was something a bit pleasing in watching him squirm.
"Well, it was nice to meet you and all
Dawn," Cynthia said as she looped her arm possessively around Andrew's,
"but we've got someplace to be."
"Yeah, me, too," Dawn said.
"It was nice to meet you, too, Cynthia."
Dawn walked off from the couple, deciding as
she did to forgo her planned trip out to get something to eat and return to her
flat instead. She walked straight over to her couch, staring at the wall as
what she'd just seen began to sink in. Andrew, the first�and to be honest,
probably the only man she'd ever loved was engaged. To another woman.
The full reality of the situation slammed
into her, and Dawn burst into tears.

***
*** ***
By the time Emma found Dawn, she was pretty
much a wreck. She'd been crying for the past couple of hours, all the pain from
losing Andrew that she'd spent years burying now rushing to the surface.
"What happened?" Emma asked as she sat down beside her friend.
"Is there someone I need to hurt?"
"He's engaged," Dawn said as she
looked up at Emma with red, puffy eyes. "I ran into them earlier�Andrew
and his fianc�e."
"Ouch," Emma said with a wince.
"You gonna be okay?"
"I don't know," Dawn admitted.
"I don't even know why I care so much. We were over years ago, and it was
so short anyway, it probably didn't count for much more than a fling. I mean,
so what if he's getting married, right?"
Dawn grew silent again, and Emma watched as
she fiddled with the small, silver key and heart-lock charm that she wore
around her neck. Dawn had worn it for as long as Emma had known her, and had
had a habit of clutching it whenever she was upset or nervous, like the tiny
charm somehow gave her strength. "Dawn, it's me," Emma said softly.
"Tell me how you're really feeling."
Dawn's response came out in a rush.
"He's an asshole for leaving me and I still don't know why he did it, and
I want to hate him, but I still have feelings for him and now that he's back
I'm completely confused, and I'm way prettier than his stupid fianc�e, so why does
he want her and not me?"
Emma blinked, trying to process all of that.
"So he's marrying a dog, huh?" she said after a moment.
Dawn's mouth turned up in an almost smile,
just like Emma had hoped. "She's not a dog. I'm just
prettier."
"What happened with the two of you
exactly?" Emma asked. "You've never really talked about him all that
much. I mean, you have a little, but it's always just been bits here and there,
never a lot of details."
Dawn let out a heavy sigh. "I guess
that's because there's really not a lot of details. I knew him back in
Sunnydale, and for the longest time, I really couldn't stand him. I thought he
was the most obnoxious person I'd ever met, and I just wanted him to go away.
But then we built something that I guess you could call a friendship, and I
started liking him more than I had."
"And how did you go from that to making
with the hot sex, 'cause I know there was some of that," Emma questioned.
"You know, I don't really know,"
Dawn said. "It was like, something just changed, all of the sudden. We
spent the day together once�which in of itself wasn't actually unusual�but then
at the end of it, he almost kissed me. Buffy came home and ruined the moment,
but then afterwards I thought about it and realized I really wanted him
to kiss me. It was like the thought of him kissing me brought all this stuff to
the surface that I hadn't even realized was there, and the next thing I knew,
I'd fallen hard and wanted nothing more in the world than him. He touched me
once, and it was like I just knew that it was right."
Dawn looked down, picking at an imagined
spot on her jeans. "After he left, I decided I must've just gotten caught
up in it all. My emotions were running crazy anyway because Buffy had just
taken off to fight an apocalypse in Los Angeles, and then Andrew was the first
guy I'd ever really had anything with. He seemed to believe that I was just
with him because he was convenient or something, and I started thinking maybe
that was true. Because falling in love that fast, just knowing with the first
touch that this person is everything you've ever wanted, that can't be real. He
was my first, and I was young and na�ve."
"I felt that certain that soon with
Aiden," Emma admitted softly. "And he was far from my first.
And sure, Aiden and I may not work in the long run cause hey, hard to have a
relationship with someone who lives in another dimension, but that doesn't make
what we feel for each other any less real. Falling quickly doesn't mean you
haven't fallen."
"I don't know," Dawn said.
"About Andrew and me at least. And even if what I felt was real, what does
that mean now? It obviously wasn't the same for him, since he could just walk
away from it like it was nothing."
"I'm sorry, Dawnie," Emma replied.
"I really wish I could give you an answer, but I'm as clueless about all
this love stuff as anyone else."
Dawn propped her chin on her hands. "I
hate this. I just wish�"
Before Dawn could finish her sentence, the
phone rang, and she stood to answer it. Emma watched as Dawn had a quick,
succinct conversation with the person on the other line before she hung up.
"That was Giles," Dawn said.
"He said he has something important to discuss with me, so I'm going to go
down to his office, see what it is." She wiped her eyes. "Do I look
like total crap."
"Not total, but you might want to touch
up your make-up," Emma said with true best friend honesty. "You do
look like you've been crying."
"I figured," Dawn replied.
"I'll be back later, okay?"
"Sure. Want to do a pizza
tonight?"
"Sounds good," Dawn said. "I
could use some grease right about now."
Emma stood. "All right. See you later
tonight then." She walked out of the flat, leaving Dawn to get ready to
meet with Giles.

***
*** ***
When she arrived at his office, Giles was
seated behind his desk, a large pile of papers and what Dawn assumed were
ancient texts stacked in front of him. He smiled at Dawn when he saw her poke
her head in and waved for her to come in to the room. "Shut the door
behind you, please, and take a seat."
"So what's up,
Giles?" Dawn asked as she
sat in the cushy chair across the desk from him. "You made it sound all
important on the phone."
"It is. As I'm sure you're aware, we
just had a team of Watchers return from a mission to retrieve lost texts from
demon dimensions."
Dawn nodded. She was quite aware of that. "What about it? They didn't like, find a
prophecy that says I'm possibly going to play a role in another apocalypse did
they?" Dawn's stomach knotted as she asked that question. That would
certainly explain all the weird dreams and feelings, as well as why they had
coincided with Andrew's arrival if he was showing up with a prophecy.
"No, nothing like that," Giles
replied. "Why do you ask?"
Dawn shrugged, calming slightly. "I
just tend to find myself in the middle of a lot of apocalypses is all. No other reason."
"Oh." Giles cleared his throat.
"It appears that the leader of this particular expedition had a mission of his own. Aside from recovering the texts the Council was
in search of, he also sought out several on his own�all pertaining to the Key."
Dawn sucked in a breath. Giles was beating
around the bush a bit, but she knew what he was telling her�Andrew had been
looking for answers as to what the Key really was. He'd been trying to find
answers for her. "Did�did he
find anything?"
"Yes. Quite a bit,
actually. These here are the original texts and these are his notebooks,
with translations and possible meanings behind some of the more cryptic
passages." Giles nudged the papers towards Dawn. "I thought you would
like to take a look at them."
Dawn nodded slowly, her eyes focusing on the
texts. She'd spent years wondering what she really was, where she'd really come
from, and these could be what finally let her know all of that. "I�I would
like to," Dawn said. "Can I take them home with me?"
"Of course," Giles replied.
"Here, let me make them easier for you to manage." He stood and
carefully put them into a box before handing them to Dawn.
"Thanks," Dawn said as she took
the box, her arms trembling slightly as she thought about what she was holding.
"I'm going to go now, if you don't mind. I�I really want to know what
these have to say."
"Yes, of course," Giles said.
"Let me know if I can help you with any of them."
"I will." Dawn started to walk
out, but stopped and turned back around at the door when she heard Giles call
her name.
"I spoke with Andrew about these,"
he said. "They appear to be the reason why he took the mission in the
first place, what he hoped to find more than any of the texts the Council had
been looking for. I believe�I believe his intentions were to help you."
"I would've rather had him," Dawn
admitted softly before she turned and walked away.

***
*** ***
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