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Oedipus Calling	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 9348 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Despite the
fact he hadn�t meant to say it, Spike knew he had. He was keenly aware the
words had been spoken; the moment had brought his defenses down to a point
where he was unable to hold them back from her any longer.
He was also
keenly aware of the fact she had said nothing since.
He knew she�d
heard them. Her eyes had grown wide, a small gasp sounding from her. Granted, Spike
knew that wasn�t necessarily unusual for when he entered her, but there had
been something else there, more than just her response to pleasure.
And if that
hadn�t been enough to let him know, how tense she was beside him now was a
definite tip off.
Spike ran his
hand down Buffy�s arm, feeling the goose bumps that rose in the wake of his
touch. She wasn�t talking�certainly wasn�t telling him she felt the way he
did�but she wasn�t running either. He supposed he could take some consolation
in that.
Buffy started
to relax against him, and Spike relaxed with her. He kissed the top of her
head, breathing the scent of her hair in deeply. �Do you have to go?� he asked
softly.
Buffy looked
up sharply. �Do you want me to?�
�No. I want
you here.�
She nuzzled
against him, her eyes closing, and Spike took that to mean she was staying the
night. �I want to be here.�
She didn�t
respond to his declaration of love. She didn�t tell him she loved him, too. But
she wanted to be there with him, and that was better than he thought he
deserved.

*** *** ***
The first
thing Buffy saw when she woke up the next morning was Spike looking down at
her, a gentle smile on his face. She smiled back, stretching sinuously against
him. Her muscles ached, but it was a pleasant sort of ache, reminding her of
how she�d gotten like this.
�Good
morning, baby,� Spike said, his voice husky, rumbling. Buffy trembled. More
than good...and she wanted to show him�
She responded
without words, just a mischievous grin as she pushed him over onto his back and
slid down his body, her skin rubbing against his, teasingly, making Spike
tremble.
Buffy settled
between his legs, her hand grasping hold of his long, hard cock and pumping
slowly, making Spike take in a sharp hiss of breath. Her tongue darted out,
licking at the head just long enough to make Spike desperate for more. When she
did the same thing again, Spike whimpered, then looked down at her, imploring with
his eyes for her to take him into her mouth.
She winked,
then engulfed him. He bellowed a curse and her name, the words running
together, making Buffy smile around his shaft. She�d never loved doing this for
a man like she loved doing it for him. His scent, his flavor, the way he felt
sliding against her tongue�she reveled in it all, in the sensuality of the act.
Pleasing him,
giving him something that could make him feel this good, made her feel good,
too, made her feel warm inside. With Spike, it didn�t feel like servicing him.
It felt like�sharing something with him.
His fingers
tangled in her hair, trembling with the effort to keep from tugging too hard,
to keep from forcing her down. He didn�t grab hold of her to control her. He
touched her like he had to, like he needed to feel her everywhere.
Spike�s gasps
turned into choked moans, his thighs tensing, shaking as Buffy dug into them
with her nails. She wanted to push him over, wanted to taste all of him, wanted
to give him what he so desperately needed. She wanted him to let go, wanted to
watch him when he surrendered to release, to experience that here, like this.
Her hand
stole from his thigh, slipping beneath his legs, her slim fingers wrapping
around his sac, caressing him just the way she knew he liked. She hummed around
him, taking him deeper, and felt his balls contract in her hand.
She felt it
coming, readied herself, and swallowed him down as Spike released in her mouth,
crying her name with such relief that Buffy felt tears at the corner of her
eyes. She realized as his semen slid across her tongue, down her throat, that
she loved the taste of him. It was a part of him�
He slid from
her lips, spent. Buffy crawled back up his body, kissed his gasping mouth until
he was kissing her back, cupping her head once again. He pulled back slightly,
speaking against her lips. �You make me feel so good, pet. So bloody good.�
�I like
making you feel good,� Buffy replied, dipping down, tasting his mouth again.
Spike ran his
hands up the back of her thighs to rest on her bottom, cupping the firm globes.
�You need me to take care of you, baby?�
Buffy pulled
up and shook her head. �No, not now. Maybe later. I kinda have to pee.� Her
stomach rumbled and she blushed. �And I guess I�m hungry, too.�
Spike
chuckled, then lightly slapped her bottom. �Up with you, then. You go pee and
I�ll make us breakfast.�
�You can
cook?�
�I can manage
eggs.�
�Mmm�eggs are
good. I could go for some eggs.� She kissed him quickly before she jumped up
off the bed. �I�ll meet you in the kitchen.�
Spike sat up,
threw her a wink, and Buffy found herself giggling as she turned around and
went towards the bathroom.

*** *** ***
Buffy walked
out back into the bedroom when she was finished in the bathroom, frowning when
she realized she wasn�t even sure where her clothes were. In all honesty, she
didn�t really care, but the idea of eating naked just seemed�unsanitary.
She opened up
Spike�s drawers and found his t-shirts. She pulled one out and slipped it over
her head, the black cotton engulfing her small frame.
Spike was in
the kitchen, cooking in nothing but his tight, black jeans. When he heard her
come in, he tossed a glance over his shoulder, his Adam�s apple bobbing as he
took in the sight of her in only his shirt before he turned his attention back
to the task at hand. �I hope you like scrambled eggs, because they�re all I can
do. I always accidentally pop the center.�
Buffy
chuckled as she took a seat at the counter. �Scrambled is fine.�
He pushed a
yellow mass of eggs onto a plate, added a slice of toast that had just popped
up from the toaster and set it in front of her. �I don�t have jelly, but I have
butter. Or an acceptable substitute anyway.�
�I can deal
with fake butter,� Buffy replied with a smirk, causing Spike to smile himself
as he turned and went towards the fridge.
Buffy moved
her eggs around on her plate with a fork, watching Spike as he dug around in
the refrigerator. This was so unlike meals at the mansion with Liam, no chef,
no fancy dining room.� Just a kitchen bar
and scrambled eggs.
She liked
this better.� It was familiar, safe.� She didn�t feel out of place sitting here,
didn�t feel like she was in over her head. And when Spike joined her with his
own breakfast, he leaned over and kissed her cheek, a tender, comfortable
gesture that made her feel more than any touch from her husband.
For the first
time since the death of her mother, Buffy felt at home.
�I love you,
too.�
Spike
struggled to swallow the bite of eggs he�d just put in his mouth without
choking before he turned and looked at her.�
�What?�
�Last night,
you said you loved me, and I�� Buffy blushed, looking down at the plate and
away from his wide blue eyes.� �Unless
you totally didn�t mean it and it just slipped out during sex, in which case
you can ignore what I just said.�
�Ignore it? God,
no, sweetheart, I�m not going to ignore it.�
Hey, look at me.�� Spike took her
chin in his hand and turned her face towards his.� �I meant it.�
I love you.� More than I�ve ever
loved anyone in my life.� Hell, you�re
probably the only person I�ve ever loved.� I just didn�t think you�d be saying it
back.� When you ignored it last night,
I�� He trailed off, not wanting to say too much, to make himself more
vulnerable than he already was.
Buffy reached
up and took his hand off her face, but held on to it, stroking his skin with
her thumb.� �You surprised me last night.
I wasn�t expecting it then, and I�� She stopped, sighing as she dropped her
hand.� �I shouldn�t love you, anymore than
you should love me.� This is wrong.� This whole thing is just wrong.�
�It doesn�t
feel wrong.�
�I know.�
Buffy turned around on her stool, poking at what was left of her eggs with a
fork.� �But it�s more than how it
feels.� What can we ever really have,
Spike? What does it even matter if we do love each other?� We�re going on borrowed time now.� Eventually, this is all going to come
crashing down.� You have to know that as
well as I do.� We can�t hide from Liam
forever, and we can�t keep sneaking away to share stolen moments. And if we
call it love, then the end is only going to be that much more painful.�
�Why does
there have to be an end?�
�Because
there does!� Buffy turned, her eyes shining with unshed tears. �Haven�t you
listened to anything I�ve said?�
�I have, but
dammit, it doesn�t make any sense! Why can�t you just leave Liam?�
�I told you!�
�We can work
around that! Fuck, Buffy, I�m not even sure a judge would uphold that agreement
you made with him.�
�And what if
it was upheld? Spike, I don�t have that kind of money��
Spike took
her hands, her fork clattering to the plate, and held them between the two of
them.� �Buffy, sweetheart, even if you
did have to pay him back, we�d work it out. If you leave him, you won�t be
alone. You�ll have me. I�ll make sure you don�t fall again.�
Buffy pulled
her hands away and shook her head.� �That
isn�t enough. I can�t have that hanging over my head, Spike. I just can�t.�
�And living
with a man who beats you is better?�
She pushed
away from the bar, stumbling a bit as she moved away.� �I can�t do this. I need to be getting back.
He could call, and if I�m not there��
Panic rose in
Spike�s throat, a fear that if she left now, like this, she wouldn�t come back.
�Kitten, no. Please, Buffy�stay. I won�t talk about it anymore, just��
�I can�t. I
need to find my clothes and go.�
�No.� Spike rushed
over to her, stopping her with a hand on her arm, then taking hold of her face
with both hands, shakily rubbing her cheeks and hair. �Stay. Please. Just a
little longer. Don�t leave me like this, baby. Please don�t leave me like
this.� He sounded desperate, too needy, but he was and he didn�t care. This was his fault; he�d spoken too soon,
tried to rush things. The morning had been good, and he had to get her back to
that place, had to make her see that things would
be better if she�d just trust herself to him.
She�d see the
truth eventually, and then there�d be no end to this. They�d be together, the
way it was meant to be, and he�d make her happy. He just had to give her the
time she needed to realize that.
�Stay with
me. Let me love you, just for a while longer. Please��
She crumbled,
slumped against his chest with a sob before the dam broke and she was crying in
his arms. He held her tightly, whispered softly in her hair as he stroked the
long, golden strands, and made her a silent promise that he�d soon find a way
to make it better.

*** *** ***
Yes, I am in
fact alive. My writer�s block has been particularly nasty, but I haven�t given
up yet!
Please
review. Not to sound overly needy, but I could use some encouragement.
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Oedipus Calling