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What Was I Thinking!?!	By : MrsMuir Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 7784 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 22

They were together again. And they were alone. Really alone.
For the first time since they had known each other, there was no need to hurry
to reach curfews, or look over their shoulders to see if anyone was going to
find them. Lindsey had grabbed some of his gear and taken off for the night, the
door locking behind him. Now, they had hours and hours of time just for them
without fear of being interrupted. It was a heady yet overwhelming sensation
for both of them. The pizza in the box between them on the bed was being
devoured with few words spoken. But the looks exchanged spoke volumes of
questions never asked, things never said, and the desire that was simmering as
it just waited for the right opportunity to burn out of control.

�Do you want the last piece?� Spike asked, waving the crust
of the last one he�d inhaled. It didn�t really matter to him. Dinner was just a
way of avoiding all the heavy conversation that needed to be made. Of course,
the conversation had to be gotten out of the way before the making up could
take place. He sighed.

�No, go ahead,� Buffy replied, taking a sip of her diet
soda. She put the can back on the small table next to the bed. Her eyes drifted
around the room, taking in the bachelor pad atmosphere that Spike and Lindsey
lived in. �It�s really not that bad,� she commented. �A little small but
livable.�

�You�d better like it,� Spike said, with a smile. �You�ll probably
be living in something similar for the next few years.�

�Yep, but at least I�ll be moving ahead with my goals.�

�Marking things off your list?� Spike asked, with a trace of
sarcasm. He couldn�t help it. Sometimes Buffy was so goal oriented he wondered
where he fit in.

�Is that so bad?� Buffy returned the volley. She threw the
rest of her pizza back in the box and wiped her hands on her napkin with almost
too much control.

�No, it�s good,� Spike replied with a sigh. He�d hurt her.
�You know what you want and go after it. I�m a little more impulsive than you
are. Hate planning, it never really works anyway.�

�I can�t fail,� Buffy said, her eyes filling with tears.
�Everything is resting on me, my future, my life, and if I don�t keep going
then I�ll be lost.�

�You�re not alone. I�m here.�

�Unless you lie to me again,� Buffy said.

A feeling of doom charged through Spike. She was serious. It
was there in her eyes and the tilt of her chin. Nothing was going to keep her
from doing what she needed to be done, not even a boyfriend who wasn�t
completely honest with her. He knew he should apologize, beg forgiveness and
promise complete honesty but his male ego got in the way.

�Wasn�t lying to you,� he protested with a roll of his eyes.
�I was trying to protect you. There wasn�t anything you could do so why make
you worry?�

�Because I love you and it�s my right to worry over you and
take care of you.�

Spike paused. He could continue to let his ego get in the
way or he could open up and let her in. If he wanted a future with this girl
then he needed to be in it all the way or he needed to get out. Now. It wasn�t
fair to both of them, but he knew he couldn�t let Buffy go. He loved her with
everything there was inside of him. Never had anyone inspired him as much as
she did. She took away all the games and just loved him. He would never find
this again, no matter where he looked.

�I was wrong,� Spike said. �I should have told you
everything. I would be pretty upset if I found out you were keeping something
like that from me.�

The relief in her eyes warmed him all the way down to his
toes. He was back in her good graces.

�I love you, Spike,� Buffy said, taking his hand. �I want to
spend the rest of my life with you.� Her fingers slipped between his.

�I love you, too,� Spike replied, with a big sappy grin on
his face. Oh, well, when it came to her, he�d be the ponce. She was worth it.
�I really want this to work between us.�

�Me too,� she sniffled as the tears broke free to run down
her cheeks.

Spike threw the pizza box on the floor and scooted closer to
her. He pulled her into his arms, settling them down on the bed, with their
heads on the pillows. This was right.

�Let�s talk, pet,� he said, looking into the face that he
adored. �No bloody superficial crap about favorite colors, but the real stuff. About
you and me and what we want.�

�I just want to be with you,� Buffy confessed. �I�m just
scared that I won�t be able to hold on to you. No one else has stayed with me.

�I�m here for good,� Spike swore. He brushed her hair behind
her ear, and then let his fingers trail across her cheek. �Now, school is going
to be out soon so what did you have planned for this summer?�

�Looking for a job so I can save up money for when I move to
Texas,� Buffy said. �You�re
coming, too? Aren�t you?�

�I�ve already applied,� Spike responded. �Probably will have
to wait until the winter session to start classes but that�ll be okay.� He took
her hand between his. �This summer I want you to go to New
York with me. If you need to work you can probably
find a job there or you could just spend the summer being loved by me.�

�New York?�
Buffy squeaked. Her eyes flew open wide. �What are we going to do in New
York? No, no, I mean why?�

�My mum remarried and is living there now,� Spike explained,
enjoying being able to surprise her. �I talked to her and she invited us to
spend the summer with them. She wants to meet you.�

�Oh, no,� Buffy said, shaking her head. �Your mom must think
I�m a tramp or something.�

�No, she doesn�t,� Spike said, pulling her closer. His hand
drifted down her thigh to hook her leg over his. �She�ll adore you like I do.
And think of the practicality of staying with them. Free room and board so if
we work we can save everything. We can do all that touristy stuff when we�re
not, like Broadway, the Rockettes, Times Square.�

�Really?�

She was getting excited by the prospect. Her eyes were
dancing as she thought over what he said.

�Yes, really, Luv,� he reassured her. �In August we can head
down to Texas, get you started in
classes, while I work to get us an apartment. I want to live with you Buffy, be
with you. I don�t want to date you.� He paused then just said what was in his
heart. �Marry me, Buffy?�

�Spike, I�I don�t know,� Buffy said. �I want to believe that
we are forever but we�re so young.�

�Either you do or you don�t,� Spike said. �No one has ever
made me feel like you do. I don�t want to be separated from you anymore. This
has only gotten stronger for over��

�Shut up, Spike,� Buffy interrupted with a giggle. �Yes,
I�ll marry you, today, tomorrow, or a hundred years from now. You are such a
silly romantic. You make me want to be silly and grown up all at the same
time.�

�Thank god.�

His life unfolded in his mind and in every scene was this
woman beside him. He wasn�t foolish enough to believe it would be easy. The
next few years would be the test if they could make it or not. And he was ready
to make the sacrifices necessary to be with her. Texas
wasn�t his first choice but it wouldn�t necessarily be forever. If it was then
he would deal as long as they were together.

With a laugh he rolled over onto his back taking her with
him. She was already kissing him with an eagerness that was filled with love.
He opened his mouth, welcoming her tongue as she swept over the interior. This
was his. Only his for the rest of his life. It made everything different. He
wanted to love her. Not just fuck her. This time it was more important because
they were committed in every way possible.

Spike ran his hands down her back, over her bottom,
squeezing the cheeks that filled his palms. She moaned as she squirmed on top
of him. He drifted his hands upwards again, this time pulling her shirt along with
them. Buffy sat up to yank it over head, dropping it on the floor. He held her
waist as he watched her undo her bra. She left it on but it was open teasing
him to take matters into his own hands. With a slow slide his hands moved along
her ribcage. His thumbs slipping under the lacy material to stroke the sides of
her breasts. Buffy wasn�t idle. She was running her hands along his chest. Her
eyes watching him with an intensity that made him burn for her.

�Do you like this?� He asked, letting his thumbs flick her
nipples. They hardened at the first touch from him. She didn�t need to nod. Her
body was already letting him know that she wanted him, too. He looked up at her
in reverence. One day Buffy would be his wife and it shook him to the core to
know that he would be the only one who would ever touch her. �Come here, Luv,�
he coaxed as he pulled her closer to him. His hands slid up her arms until they
were tangled in the honey gold of her hair.

The kiss was slow. They took their time, letting their
tongues slide over one another in a rhythm that only stoked the need between
them. Buffy shifted downwards so they were lying in a tangle of limbs. Her
hands slid under his shirt to tickle his skin with the tips of her nails. He
turned them as one until she was pinned beneath him. She tugged at his shirt,
pulling it until they had to break apart in order to get it over his head.

Spike knelt over her so he could get his jeans off. Her eyes
never left his even when he crawled down to remove her shoes then her jeans.
She lay only in her hot pink panties that promised the sweetest fruit beneath
their protection. There were no protestations when he hooked his fingers in
them. She smiled, lifting her hips, as he glided them down her legs. Then she
was bare to his gaze, to his touch and he needed what she offered so freely to
him. He returned to lie beside her. His eyes drinking her in her beauty as his
hands caressed the satin smoothness of her body.

�Love you so much,� Buffy moaned as he slipped his fingers
into the wet heat between her legs. Spike suckled the softness of her breast.
Her fingers twining in his hair as he built the flame. He circled her clit with
his thumb while his fingers thrust deep inside of her.

He kissed her stomach. His tongue dived into the slight dip
of her belly button before he positioned himself between her legs. She arched
up when his tongue licked her from bottom to top. Her thighs parted giving him better
access to the honey sweetness of her pussy. This was heaven he decided as his
tongue devoured her, moving along the inside of one side then down the other.
His fingers continued to thrust deep inside of her. She was quivering by the
time he finally suckled her swollen nubbin. It was all it took as she came with
a long sigh. Her juices flowing as he lapped every bit.

When she was finally still, Spike moved to lie on her. He
fumbled in the nightstand for a condom that she rolled on him. Then she welcomed
him with open arms as he positioned his cock at her entrance. He moved slow,
wanting to feel each inch of her that took him in so easily. Once he was all
the way, he pulled back then thrust deep within her again. She moaned, wrapping
her legs high around his ribs.

�Hold on, lamb,� Spike said. �Going to take you on a ride to
paradise.�

�Already there,� Buffy responded. Her eyes shining with the
love she felt for him. It made feel more of a man than he ever had. She made
him want to be a man for her. He ground against her then pushed back inside of
her. She met each thrust with her own, driving them higher, until they were
lost in the rhythm of their bodies. They held on as they made love, their
kisses frantic as they found that special place. Buffy screamed his name as she
went over the edge. Her walls squeezing him until he found his own release. He
held onto her for as long as he could before he had to take care of things.

Buffy was under the covers when he came back from the
bathroom. She pulled them back to let him in beside her.

�I love you, Buffy.�

�Love you, William,� she whispered as he settled with his
head on her breast. Her fingers idly caressing his back. �Everything is going
to be okay. I promise.�

He believed her.

to be continued�
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