ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
12,166
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
12,166
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A STEELY RESOLVE
CHAPTER 211 – A STEELY RESOLVE
William sat in the backseat of Willow's car, blanketed in his own personal hell. Not only had he ignored his gut instinct when he'd been so close to finding her earlier, but now his getting to Elizabeth was impeded by the steadily falling snow and slow traffic.
"Can't this thing go any bleedin' faster?"
"I’m already over the speed limit. I can’t drive through the cars in front of me, can I?"
"I don’t know. You’re the one with the magic. Can’t you just make ‘em disappear, or part the cars to either side like Moses did with the Red Sea?"
"Even if I had any biblical-proportion magicks that I could access right now, I think I’d better save what I do have for when we get there, don’t you?"
William plopped back against the seat, his hand reaching out to once again touch Elizabeth’s coat, which sat next to him on a pile of blankets he’d grabbed as they left the flat. He knew Willow was right. She’d offered to do a locating spell, but with her magicks only just returning, she couldn’t guarantee that she’d be able to do more than that. He’d opted to trust his instinct, and for her to save her magicks for when they got to their destination.
Giles, who was sitting in the front to help navigate, turned around in his seat. "I realize that you’re anxious to get to Buffy, if indeed, that is where she is. However, making Willow feel bad isn’t going to get us there any quicker. Believe it or not, we are making good time given the conditions."
William just glared at him, but held his tongue from retorting, that there would’ve been no need for this trip at all had it not been for their carelessness and secrets.
As soon as they turned north on Highgate Road, he undid his seatbelt and scooted up, leaning between Willow and Giles as he strained to see familiar landmarks and roads through the snowfall. Finally, he spotted St. Alban’s Road.
"It’s coming right up on your…here, turn here!"
Willow swerved just in time to make the right-hand turn onto Swain’s Lane.
"It’s one-way, go faster!"
"It’s also icy and curvy," Willow said, but increased her speed enough to appease him. A few tense moments later, the car slid to an uneven stop in front of the cemetery.
Giles looked at gate and the tall brick walls surrounding the cemetery. He couldn’t help wonder how long it had been since he’d seen Buffy vault over something that high, or if it were still even possible for her to do so. To him it seemed unlikely.
William jumped out and hurried to the gates, pushing and pulling at them.
"Get ‘em opened!"
Willow nodded. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes. She sent up a quick, silent prayer to the Goddess Hecate that her powers be restored; at least enough for the simple spell at hand, then concentrated on centering her energy.
"Patefacio porta!"
By the time Willow heard the creak of metal on metal and opened her eyes, William was already through the gates and running towards the path.
Giles was also heading for them as well. He turned back towards her.
"I’ll close the gates after me, so it doesn’t look as though they’ve been tampered with. If you want to stay here..."
"No. I’m coming with. I might be needed," Willow said. Ever since the gates had opened she felt a dark power coming from within, though she didn’t mention that to Giles.
"What about the car?"
"Occulto!"
"What was that?"
"Just a little concealment spell," Willow said. Seeing Giles worried expression, she added, "Don't worry, nobody will hit the car either. They'll simply veer around it without knowing why."
"Very well. Hurry then."
Giles closed the gates as soon as they were both on the other side, then he and Willow started down the path, following William’s footprints.
~~~~~~~~~~~
William didn’t pay heed to the slippery ice as he raced along the cemetery paths. Ever since they’d arrived, he once again had a strong sense that this was where he would find her. Still, a nagging doubt chilled him. If he were wrong, they’d have wasted this much more time.
He slowed as he came upon the familiar markers that hadn't changed for over 100 years, yet today, somehow seemed different, askew. William looked again. Next to his family’s graves, there seemed to be three snow-covered statues. One knelt in front of the headstone bearing his name, while the other two stood in front of the former on the opposite side of the grave. It was only when the two standing statues turned their heads towards him that he realized what he was seeing. His heart froze in his chest.
"And he appears. My loving son; your knight in tarnished armor," said the first apparition, looking scornfully at William with empty, hate-filled eyes.
The second figure shook her head sadly as she tsk-tsked. "Oh, Buffy. Couldn’t you have done better than him? I raised you to become a nice young woman, but instead you slept around like a common whore. Live or undead, it made no difference to you, did it? You were such a disappointment to your father and me. It’s no wonder he left; just like every other man you’ve ever known has left, or will leave you…or die.
In fact, you’re to blame for my death. Had you not been out commiserating over your pathetic love life with that sex-bot; you might have been home in time to save my life. The doctor lied to you, Buffy. My death was neither quick, nor painless. It was agonizing. I called out to you, but you weren’t there...until it was too late, just like you’ll always be. Too late to save the ones you love."
William, frozen in place, was only vaguely aware that Giles and Willow had come up and were standing somewhere behind him. The spectacle they just witnessed having stopped them dead in their tracks, as well.
"Giles, what…who is that? Oh, no…it can’t be!"
"Joyce…" Giles whispered.
"Oh, God. Buffy."
Elizabeth had been as still as the statue that William thought he was seeing at first. At this last onslaught, he thought he saw her shoulder’s twitch slightly, and it spurned him to action. His initial fear and shock now dwarfed by an all-encompassing rage.
"Get away from her!" William yelled, as he ran towards her.
The two specters swayed in unison, but didn’t say anything in return.
William fell to his knees beside her on the snowy ground, "Elizabeth?" he spoke her name gently, as his hands brushed the snow off of her hair and face. He spoke her name again, lifting her chin to look into her eyes, searching for any reaction. That there wasn’t any at all scared him the most of all.
"I’m going to pick you up now, Sweetheart. I’m taking you out of here."
He took off his coat and wrapped it around her as best he could. As he tried to position his arms around her, suddenly her hands shot out, and frozen blue fingers grasped the edges of the his headstone, making lifting her impossible.
"That’s right, my dear," spoke the specter of Joyce. "This is where you belong, alongside your dead lover. It won’t hurt anymore once you join him, and that way he won’t ever leave you."
"Shut up! You’re not real," William said, standing up to face both of them.
The specter of Joyce disappeared, leaving only the one of Anne now. "I don’t see why you’re so upset, William," she said in a soft, lilting voice. "Isn’t that what you yourself told Elizabeth only just yesterday? That you belonged here? You knew it was the truth as you spoke it, didn’t you? That’s why you’re so conflicted, and why you’re in such turmoil, my son. Your spirit will never be at rest as long as you continue to walk this earth when you should be lying here in this grave."
William wavered.
"You’ve cheated death how many times now? You’re not really even here now; you’re only a phantom of the man who lived over one hundred years ago. This headstone is more real than you are or will ever be again. You’ll never be whole again, that’s why you’ll lose."
He looked down at the woman he loved, the strongest person he’d ever met, prostrated and immobilized; not only the horror that this thing had wrought, but by the fact that he had told her much the same. Her discovering the meaning of the two-year clause had only put a resounding exclamation point on everything she’d already feared - that no matter what she did or how hard she fought evil and the fates-- that it still didn’t matter. She’d given him everything she had; given the world everything she had, only to find it still wasn’t enough. How could he blame her for finally giving up? But he wouldn’t.
William jutted out his jaw in a show of defiance as he once more turned to face the specter of his mother. "I was wrong then, and you’re wrong now. It’s you who will lose once again, not me, certainly not her; not any of us."
In front of him, the specter morphed as it threw back its head and a demonic apparition appeared, growing out of her mouth. Its eyes glowed red and two great horns appeared on its head.
"I’ll lose? We’ll see about that! You’ll all lose." The First roared, as it lunged towards them.
William threw his body over Elizabeth’s to protect her, but nothing touched them.
He heard Willow cry out as it swooped towards them as well before fading altogether.
William let out a heavy breath; "It’s over now. I’m taking you home, luv," he whispered in Elizabeth’s ear, just as Giles and Willow ran over.
"Are everyone alright?" Giles asked, his eyes mostly on Buffy’s still form, although he stole a glance at the names on the graves.
William nodded briefly. He gathered up Buffy in his arms as he stood. This time she offered no resistance.
"Let’s get the hell out of here." William said.
~~~~~~~~
They made it out of the gates and into the car within minutes. Willow turned up the heat to full blast and peeled out, swerving from one side of Swain’s Lane to the other on the ice. In the backseat, William was holding Buffy on his lap, while Giles, turned around in his seat, was helping to throw blankets over both of them.
Willow, who had been driving as fast and as best she could, suddenly pulled over as they neared the intersection of Swain’s Lane and Highgate Road.
"What is it? What’s wrong?" Giles asked.
"You have to drive, Giles," Willow said, her voice trembling. "I can’t. I can’t."
"It’s going to be alright, Elizabeth. I’ve got you now," William said, as Giles and Willow changed seats.
Nobody said anything for a few minutes, but some of the tension waned.
"I’m sorry about that," Willow said finally.
Giles shook his head. "Nothing to apologize for."
"I know. Still…" She turned around to face William. "Can I do anything?"
"She’s so cold," William said softly. As if on cue, Buffy started to shiver.
Giles nodded. It hadn’t escaped his attention how blue Buffy’s hands were. "Under other circumstances, I’d suggest that we take her to the hospital for treatment for frostbite or hypothermia."
"No! No hospitals!" William said, his voice breaking.
"I know. I said under other circumstances. Still, we have to do something once we get back."
"I might be able to do a spell."
Nobody said anything.
"Or not."
It came to William then. "Call John."
"Dawn’s John?"
"Yes. He’ll know what to do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3:30PM
GREENICH
By the time they arrived back at the flat, it was already buzzing with activity. Giles had called the slayers who were close by, giving them a list of supplies John had recommended they have on hand, if they were to treat hypothermia and frostbite themselves.
John had sounded quite alarmed over Buffy’s condition, and hadn’t been happy to only be able to give them ‘in the field’ advice to treat her with. However, knowing their reasoning for avoiding a hospital, and having been down this road with them both a few times already, he quickly looked up emergency procedures they could perform.
Walking past the dozen or so slayers that stood lined up by the door as they came in; William carried an awake, but a still, non-responsive Buffy to her bedroom. As he was getting her out of her wet clothes, Willow was running the hot water in both the tub and sink in order to get as much hot steam into the air as possible. Giles knocked on the door just as William had finished getting her dressed. He carried a large tray that had some warm gel packs and other supplies, along with a pot of tea.
"You should probably take her temperature now in order to get a baseline reading," Giles said, handing him an aural thermometer and explaining how it was used.
William placed the thermometer in her ear until it beeped. It didn’t take long. He looked at it and handed it to Giles. It read 94.1 degrees.
He pulled a paper out of his pocket that the girls had printed out on hypothermia. "Thankfully, it’s not the worst it could be, but it’s still definitely in the danger zone."
William had already picked up Buffy and was on his way to the bathroom before Giles even finished. He didn’t need to hear anything more about it; he needed to do something about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
William sat amidst the steam on a pile of towels holding Elizabeth on his lap. It had been the easiest position for him to keep the warm gel packs underneath her armpits, and groin, as it had been suggested they do. It was also the way he could still have a hand free in order to hold the newly purchased, personal mist inhaler in front of her mouth and nose which Willow had set up for him. That and the steam were the most important things John told them to do in order to warm her core temperature.
"Come on luv, breathe this in; gonna make you feel better in no time," William spoke encouragingly, although he might have been speaking to himself for all the response he received. He wasn’t even sure she was hearing him at all.
His consciousness prickled remembering how he himself had been like this in the aftermath of the attack by Dru. The difference was that as shell-shocked as he’d been, he could still remember Elizabeth talking to him during that time. A wave of guilt washed over him as he recalled choosing not to respond to her gentleness and attempts to console him...and her pain.
Tears stung the back of his eyelids. There was an abyss that seemed to lay the foreseeable future’s landscape bare as far as he could see into it. It felt fragile and brittle. It seemed as though it might only take one more thing before he himself would shatter apart into a million pieces.
It was at this precipice --this bottomless pit of hopelessness-- that William pulled himself back from with a steely resolve. He would not allow himself to go there again; he'd already spent so much time there since he'd found out about his past. If he let himself succumb now, there would be no turning back; and he was needed here...with her. What's more, he realized with sudden clarity that it wasn't just her that he didn't want to leave; that was never in doubt.
He didn't want to leave this world.
END CHAPTER 211
Regarding updates, or lack, thereof:
Thanks for your patience as I've been quite slackerly in getting to the finish of this story. There were a lot of 'life' stuff going on, and my muse wasn't musing during that period much at all.
Even moreso, there have been so many loose ends to tie up, that I had to be extra careful that I set up everything just so.
Actually, I would've liked to have had this section just a bit further along before posting, ie; have Buffy's fugue state resolved (which it will be), but seeing as it's Valentine's Day, I thought it was good to update here. In fact, the last chapter comes to you unbeta'd in order to get it out today.
In fact, I might actually add onto this chapter, as it seems a bit unfinished. In any case, (hopefully) it won't be nearly as long as it has been this time for the next update.
William sat in the backseat of Willow's car, blanketed in his own personal hell. Not only had he ignored his gut instinct when he'd been so close to finding her earlier, but now his getting to Elizabeth was impeded by the steadily falling snow and slow traffic.
"Can't this thing go any bleedin' faster?"
"I’m already over the speed limit. I can’t drive through the cars in front of me, can I?"
"I don’t know. You’re the one with the magic. Can’t you just make ‘em disappear, or part the cars to either side like Moses did with the Red Sea?"
"Even if I had any biblical-proportion magicks that I could access right now, I think I’d better save what I do have for when we get there, don’t you?"
William plopped back against the seat, his hand reaching out to once again touch Elizabeth’s coat, which sat next to him on a pile of blankets he’d grabbed as they left the flat. He knew Willow was right. She’d offered to do a locating spell, but with her magicks only just returning, she couldn’t guarantee that she’d be able to do more than that. He’d opted to trust his instinct, and for her to save her magicks for when they got to their destination.
Giles, who was sitting in the front to help navigate, turned around in his seat. "I realize that you’re anxious to get to Buffy, if indeed, that is where she is. However, making Willow feel bad isn’t going to get us there any quicker. Believe it or not, we are making good time given the conditions."
William just glared at him, but held his tongue from retorting, that there would’ve been no need for this trip at all had it not been for their carelessness and secrets.
As soon as they turned north on Highgate Road, he undid his seatbelt and scooted up, leaning between Willow and Giles as he strained to see familiar landmarks and roads through the snowfall. Finally, he spotted St. Alban’s Road.
"It’s coming right up on your…here, turn here!"
Willow swerved just in time to make the right-hand turn onto Swain’s Lane.
"It’s one-way, go faster!"
"It’s also icy and curvy," Willow said, but increased her speed enough to appease him. A few tense moments later, the car slid to an uneven stop in front of the cemetery.
Giles looked at gate and the tall brick walls surrounding the cemetery. He couldn’t help wonder how long it had been since he’d seen Buffy vault over something that high, or if it were still even possible for her to do so. To him it seemed unlikely.
William jumped out and hurried to the gates, pushing and pulling at them.
"Get ‘em opened!"
Willow nodded. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes. She sent up a quick, silent prayer to the Goddess Hecate that her powers be restored; at least enough for the simple spell at hand, then concentrated on centering her energy.
"Patefacio porta!"
By the time Willow heard the creak of metal on metal and opened her eyes, William was already through the gates and running towards the path.
Giles was also heading for them as well. He turned back towards her.
"I’ll close the gates after me, so it doesn’t look as though they’ve been tampered with. If you want to stay here..."
"No. I’m coming with. I might be needed," Willow said. Ever since the gates had opened she felt a dark power coming from within, though she didn’t mention that to Giles.
"What about the car?"
"Occulto!"
"What was that?"
"Just a little concealment spell," Willow said. Seeing Giles worried expression, she added, "Don't worry, nobody will hit the car either. They'll simply veer around it without knowing why."
"Very well. Hurry then."
Giles closed the gates as soon as they were both on the other side, then he and Willow started down the path, following William’s footprints.
~~~~~~~~~~~
William didn’t pay heed to the slippery ice as he raced along the cemetery paths. Ever since they’d arrived, he once again had a strong sense that this was where he would find her. Still, a nagging doubt chilled him. If he were wrong, they’d have wasted this much more time.
He slowed as he came upon the familiar markers that hadn't changed for over 100 years, yet today, somehow seemed different, askew. William looked again. Next to his family’s graves, there seemed to be three snow-covered statues. One knelt in front of the headstone bearing his name, while the other two stood in front of the former on the opposite side of the grave. It was only when the two standing statues turned their heads towards him that he realized what he was seeing. His heart froze in his chest.
"And he appears. My loving son; your knight in tarnished armor," said the first apparition, looking scornfully at William with empty, hate-filled eyes.
The second figure shook her head sadly as she tsk-tsked. "Oh, Buffy. Couldn’t you have done better than him? I raised you to become a nice young woman, but instead you slept around like a common whore. Live or undead, it made no difference to you, did it? You were such a disappointment to your father and me. It’s no wonder he left; just like every other man you’ve ever known has left, or will leave you…or die.
In fact, you’re to blame for my death. Had you not been out commiserating over your pathetic love life with that sex-bot; you might have been home in time to save my life. The doctor lied to you, Buffy. My death was neither quick, nor painless. It was agonizing. I called out to you, but you weren’t there...until it was too late, just like you’ll always be. Too late to save the ones you love."
William, frozen in place, was only vaguely aware that Giles and Willow had come up and were standing somewhere behind him. The spectacle they just witnessed having stopped them dead in their tracks, as well.
"Giles, what…who is that? Oh, no…it can’t be!"
"Joyce…" Giles whispered.
"Oh, God. Buffy."
Elizabeth had been as still as the statue that William thought he was seeing at first. At this last onslaught, he thought he saw her shoulder’s twitch slightly, and it spurned him to action. His initial fear and shock now dwarfed by an all-encompassing rage.
"Get away from her!" William yelled, as he ran towards her.
The two specters swayed in unison, but didn’t say anything in return.
William fell to his knees beside her on the snowy ground, "Elizabeth?" he spoke her name gently, as his hands brushed the snow off of her hair and face. He spoke her name again, lifting her chin to look into her eyes, searching for any reaction. That there wasn’t any at all scared him the most of all.
"I’m going to pick you up now, Sweetheart. I’m taking you out of here."
He took off his coat and wrapped it around her as best he could. As he tried to position his arms around her, suddenly her hands shot out, and frozen blue fingers grasped the edges of the his headstone, making lifting her impossible.
"That’s right, my dear," spoke the specter of Joyce. "This is where you belong, alongside your dead lover. It won’t hurt anymore once you join him, and that way he won’t ever leave you."
"Shut up! You’re not real," William said, standing up to face both of them.
The specter of Joyce disappeared, leaving only the one of Anne now. "I don’t see why you’re so upset, William," she said in a soft, lilting voice. "Isn’t that what you yourself told Elizabeth only just yesterday? That you belonged here? You knew it was the truth as you spoke it, didn’t you? That’s why you’re so conflicted, and why you’re in such turmoil, my son. Your spirit will never be at rest as long as you continue to walk this earth when you should be lying here in this grave."
William wavered.
"You’ve cheated death how many times now? You’re not really even here now; you’re only a phantom of the man who lived over one hundred years ago. This headstone is more real than you are or will ever be again. You’ll never be whole again, that’s why you’ll lose."
He looked down at the woman he loved, the strongest person he’d ever met, prostrated and immobilized; not only the horror that this thing had wrought, but by the fact that he had told her much the same. Her discovering the meaning of the two-year clause had only put a resounding exclamation point on everything she’d already feared - that no matter what she did or how hard she fought evil and the fates-- that it still didn’t matter. She’d given him everything she had; given the world everything she had, only to find it still wasn’t enough. How could he blame her for finally giving up? But he wouldn’t.
William jutted out his jaw in a show of defiance as he once more turned to face the specter of his mother. "I was wrong then, and you’re wrong now. It’s you who will lose once again, not me, certainly not her; not any of us."
In front of him, the specter morphed as it threw back its head and a demonic apparition appeared, growing out of her mouth. Its eyes glowed red and two great horns appeared on its head.
"I’ll lose? We’ll see about that! You’ll all lose." The First roared, as it lunged towards them.
William threw his body over Elizabeth’s to protect her, but nothing touched them.
He heard Willow cry out as it swooped towards them as well before fading altogether.
William let out a heavy breath; "It’s over now. I’m taking you home, luv," he whispered in Elizabeth’s ear, just as Giles and Willow ran over.
"Are everyone alright?" Giles asked, his eyes mostly on Buffy’s still form, although he stole a glance at the names on the graves.
William nodded briefly. He gathered up Buffy in his arms as he stood. This time she offered no resistance.
"Let’s get the hell out of here." William said.
~~~~~~~~
They made it out of the gates and into the car within minutes. Willow turned up the heat to full blast and peeled out, swerving from one side of Swain’s Lane to the other on the ice. In the backseat, William was holding Buffy on his lap, while Giles, turned around in his seat, was helping to throw blankets over both of them.
Willow, who had been driving as fast and as best she could, suddenly pulled over as they neared the intersection of Swain’s Lane and Highgate Road.
"What is it? What’s wrong?" Giles asked.
"You have to drive, Giles," Willow said, her voice trembling. "I can’t. I can’t."
"It’s going to be alright, Elizabeth. I’ve got you now," William said, as Giles and Willow changed seats.
Nobody said anything for a few minutes, but some of the tension waned.
"I’m sorry about that," Willow said finally.
Giles shook his head. "Nothing to apologize for."
"I know. Still…" She turned around to face William. "Can I do anything?"
"She’s so cold," William said softly. As if on cue, Buffy started to shiver.
Giles nodded. It hadn’t escaped his attention how blue Buffy’s hands were. "Under other circumstances, I’d suggest that we take her to the hospital for treatment for frostbite or hypothermia."
"No! No hospitals!" William said, his voice breaking.
"I know. I said under other circumstances. Still, we have to do something once we get back."
"I might be able to do a spell."
Nobody said anything.
"Or not."
It came to William then. "Call John."
"Dawn’s John?"
"Yes. He’ll know what to do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3:30PM
GREENICH
By the time they arrived back at the flat, it was already buzzing with activity. Giles had called the slayers who were close by, giving them a list of supplies John had recommended they have on hand, if they were to treat hypothermia and frostbite themselves.
John had sounded quite alarmed over Buffy’s condition, and hadn’t been happy to only be able to give them ‘in the field’ advice to treat her with. However, knowing their reasoning for avoiding a hospital, and having been down this road with them both a few times already, he quickly looked up emergency procedures they could perform.
Walking past the dozen or so slayers that stood lined up by the door as they came in; William carried an awake, but a still, non-responsive Buffy to her bedroom. As he was getting her out of her wet clothes, Willow was running the hot water in both the tub and sink in order to get as much hot steam into the air as possible. Giles knocked on the door just as William had finished getting her dressed. He carried a large tray that had some warm gel packs and other supplies, along with a pot of tea.
"You should probably take her temperature now in order to get a baseline reading," Giles said, handing him an aural thermometer and explaining how it was used.
William placed the thermometer in her ear until it beeped. It didn’t take long. He looked at it and handed it to Giles. It read 94.1 degrees.
He pulled a paper out of his pocket that the girls had printed out on hypothermia. "Thankfully, it’s not the worst it could be, but it’s still definitely in the danger zone."
William had already picked up Buffy and was on his way to the bathroom before Giles even finished. He didn’t need to hear anything more about it; he needed to do something about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
William sat amidst the steam on a pile of towels holding Elizabeth on his lap. It had been the easiest position for him to keep the warm gel packs underneath her armpits, and groin, as it had been suggested they do. It was also the way he could still have a hand free in order to hold the newly purchased, personal mist inhaler in front of her mouth and nose which Willow had set up for him. That and the steam were the most important things John told them to do in order to warm her core temperature.
"Come on luv, breathe this in; gonna make you feel better in no time," William spoke encouragingly, although he might have been speaking to himself for all the response he received. He wasn’t even sure she was hearing him at all.
His consciousness prickled remembering how he himself had been like this in the aftermath of the attack by Dru. The difference was that as shell-shocked as he’d been, he could still remember Elizabeth talking to him during that time. A wave of guilt washed over him as he recalled choosing not to respond to her gentleness and attempts to console him...and her pain.
Tears stung the back of his eyelids. There was an abyss that seemed to lay the foreseeable future’s landscape bare as far as he could see into it. It felt fragile and brittle. It seemed as though it might only take one more thing before he himself would shatter apart into a million pieces.
It was at this precipice --this bottomless pit of hopelessness-- that William pulled himself back from with a steely resolve. He would not allow himself to go there again; he'd already spent so much time there since he'd found out about his past. If he let himself succumb now, there would be no turning back; and he was needed here...with her. What's more, he realized with sudden clarity that it wasn't just her that he didn't want to leave; that was never in doubt.
He didn't want to leave this world.
END CHAPTER 211
Regarding updates, or lack, thereof:
Thanks for your patience as I've been quite slackerly in getting to the finish of this story. There were a lot of 'life' stuff going on, and my muse wasn't musing during that period much at all.
Even moreso, there have been so many loose ends to tie up, that I had to be extra careful that I set up everything just so.
Actually, I would've liked to have had this section just a bit further along before posting, ie; have Buffy's fugue state resolved (which it will be), but seeing as it's Valentine's Day, I thought it was good to update here. In fact, the last chapter comes to you unbeta'd in order to get it out today.
In fact, I might actually add onto this chapter, as it seems a bit unfinished. In any case, (hopefully) it won't be nearly as long as it has been this time for the next update.