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Change of Season	By : wright99 Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female Views: 8857 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
A change of seasons, Chapter 20

1

Buffy turns left, heading for the nurse's office. She almost gets a clean getaway when a voice stops her.
"Buffy! Wait up!"
Oh man, Buffy stops and turns to see Willow running to catch up with her.
"Hey, Will. What's up?"
"Actually, Buffy," Willow pulls upside her, "I was gonna ask you that. You were in the restroom a long time."
"Huh? Oh, well� I guess I'm catching something� stomach flu I guess� and I'm cramping, wouldn't you know? Can't catch a break here."
"Hey, if you're feeling bad maybe you should see the school nurse."
"Two great minds, thinking alike and all. I was just going there�"
"I can go with, if you want�?"
"Naw, for what? Gonna hold my hand? Just think what that would add to the rumor mill," Buffy smirks. "I'm fine, Will. Just need something to ease the cramping and stuff. Don't sweat it."
"Ok, Buff�" Willow sounds doubtful. "If you need me�"
"Yeah, yeah. I know where you live," Buffy smiles. "Now shoo before you're late to class and ruin that perfect record of yours. Or something�"
"Seeya at lunch?"
"Yeah, count on it," Buffy says, turning back the way she was going ."Bye."
"Bye, Buff." Willow turns and starts towards class, then remembers something. Crap! The assignment! I forgot to give it to her.
She turns to catch Buffy, but she's nowhere to be seen. Wow, she must've been in a hurry. Willow looks puzzled. Wonder why? OH, stop it!
Willow makes an impatient noise with herself, and disappears down the hall to her class.
Buffy looks around the corner of the set of lockers she darted behind, seeing if Willow is really gone. Last thing I need is Willow following me to the nurse's station. God, If she found out about�
"Hey, Buffy. Who're you hiding from?"
Buffy almost leaps a foot in the air, and turns to see Dawn behind her, staring at her.
"God, squirt, just go for the coronary, ok?" Buffy hisses at her, angry at being scared. "What do you want?"
"Nothing from you, your Grumpiness! I just saw you ducked behind the lockers and wondered what you were doing� my mistake�"
"Why aren't you in class?"
"I'm going, mom! Just � oh, forget it," Dawn turns and storms off.
Still, she has a little grin on her face, despite how mad Buffy made her. God, she jumped a mile. Too cool. Dawn snickers as she disappears down the hall.
God, just what I need. Snoopy squirt checking on me. Buffy watches her disappear down the hall, then turns and heads towards the nurse's office.

* * *
"I'll be with you in a moment. Have a seat."
Buffy walked over and plopped down in one of the available chairs in the nurse's office. She sat, watching as the nurse finished up with another student.
"Well, it's definitely infected," Gloria Benson, the school nurse looked at the girl's stomach. Her blouse was pulled up, and she displayed a belly ring, surrounded by an angry red patch of skin. "Where did you get this?"
"At the mall," Jamie Hill said, looking down at her stomach. "They do it all the time�"
"Maybe, but they did a sloppy job of it. The ring's gotta go�"
"But�"
"No buts, girl. This is infected. That can be nasty if we don't treat it. The ring's gone."
Before Jamie could protest further, Gloria expertly removed the belly wring, and cleaned the area with antiseptic.
"I want you to go see your doctor as soon as possible to check this out. I think we caught it in time, but I want to be sure. Better safe than sorry, Jamie."
"But� he'll tell my folks�" Jamie complains. "They'll kill me�"
"How did you get this�." She holds up the ring," � without telling your parents?"
"Uh� well�" Jamie suddenly gets quiet, knowing she went too far. Roses bloom in her cheeks.
"You have to have permission to get this done. You can't just�" The light goes on in Gloria's head. "You faked your parent's signature, didn't you?"
Jamie looks away, and shrugs. "They never would've let me get it�"
"Well, considering, maybe they were right�" Gloria frowns. "Whoever did this didn't know what they were doing, and you could get a serious infection here�"
She sees how closed up and defensive the girl is, and sighs. God, I just wish they'd think before they did this stuff. She walks over, getting a bandage out of the cabinet on the wall.
"I'm not trying to lecture you here, Jamie. I just want you to think. This could lead to complications� things that could really hurt you." Putting some gel on the bandage, she covers the wound. "I'm not kidding. You need to see your doctor."
"Ok," Jamie says reluctantly. Of course, it's an act. She doesn't plan to see her doctor at all. "Can I go now?"
Gloria looks at her, feeling frustrated. She knows good and well Jamie probably won't see her doctor, but she's limited what she can do because of school policy.
She walks over, and opens a drawer in her desk. She pulls out some pamphlets, and returns, handing them to Jamie.
"Here, something to read while waiting for your doctor," Gloria hands her the brochures.
Jamie looks at the brochures, then looks up at Gloria.
"Why're you giving me these?"
"Because of that little talk we had the last time you were here."
"But� he'd never� he loves me�"
Buffy, overhearing the conversation, has to suppress a bitter chuckle. Oh yeah, tell yourself that, girl.
Gloria, for her part, wonders how many times she's heard that line.
"Take them anyway. Consider them homework."
"From the nurse?"
Gloria just looks at her with a stern expression.
"Ok, ok. Can I go now?"
"Yes, Jamie," Ms. Benson goes over, and retrieving a pad, writes something on it. "Here's your pass. Come back in a week. I wanna see how that tummy's doing, ok?"
"Sure."
Jamie quickly exits. Gloria wonders if she'll come back at all. What can I do about it? The district ties my hands on anything�
She turns and looks at Buffy.
"Hello, Buffy. So, what can I do for you?"
"She's not going to do it, you know," Buffy stands up, walking to the nurse. "Go to her doctor, that is."
"I know, but that's all I can do. That's all the school lets me do." She indicates for Buffy to hop up on the table. "But never mind Jamie. How're you doing?"
Buffy looks away, dreading this moment. Then swallowing her fear, she pulls out the box, and hands it to the nurse.
Gloria looks at the box, and frowns. " I gave this to you nearly a week ago, Buffy. Why did you wait so long to come back in?"
Buffy follows Jamie's example, and blushes. "I forgot."
"You forgot?" Gloria opens the box, and takes out the probe. She looks at it, and her frown deepens. "You forgot you might be pregnant?"
"No, I forgot I had it. I just used it this morning�" Buffy seems to scrunch up, trying to withdraw further in herself. "I guess I'm �. "
"Pregnant, Buffy," Gloria looks at the indicator again. "Probably�"
"I might� it � is it wrong?" Buffy looks up, hopefully.
Gloria hates to dash her hopes. "Probably it's right, Buffy. But there's a tiny chance for a false positive. You should see your doctor�"
She sees the curtains descend behind Buffy's eyes, and she sighs.
"Buffy, this is serious. If you're pregnant, you need a doctor's care more than ever. You can't just pretend this isn't happening�"
"Couldn't it be a mistake? You said it could be wrong�"
"The only way to be 100 percent sure is to see your doctor, Buffy," Gloria nods, "But this test is pretty accurate�"
Buffy lowers her head. Any last reprieves seem very, very unlikely.
Gloria walks over, putting a hand on Buffy's shoulder.
"Buffy, have you told the boy yet?"
Buffy looks up sharply. "I� I can't do that�"
"Buffy, he has to know. He's part of this. He has responsibilities here, too."
"I can't tell him, don't you see? He� I just can't�"
Gloria's face grows a little sterner. "Buffy, you can't just pretend this isn't happening. And not telling the boy isn't a good idea. He has to know that there's consequences for his actions."
"I'm sorry, but I�"
"Buffy, even if you don't want to do it for yourself, what about the next girl?" Gloria presses. "What if he does this to another girl. Is it fair that he just can �"
"I can't!" Buffy hops off the table, starting towards the door. "This was a big mistake."
"Buffy, wait. Ok, ok, this is your decision. I get that." Gloria appeases her, hoping not to lose her totally. "I didn't mean to press so hard."
Buffy turns back. Her face isn't angry, only sad. "You �I know you meant well. But you can't help. No one can." She starts to turn away.
"Buffy, there are options�"
Buffy looks at her.
"You have to decide if you want to have the baby, or terminate the pregnancy.
Buffy closes her eyes, as if in pain. She doesn't say anything, however.
"Either way, there are options." Gloria goes to her desk, and taking out her key ring, opens the bottom drawer. She pulls out some literature.
"I want you to read these, Buffy." Gloria hands her a small stack of pamphlets. " They outline what options you have concerning your pregnancy�"
"Can't you just tell me?" Buffy looks at the stack of brochures and flyers.
"School policy, Buffy. I'm not allowed to� discuss this."
Buffy thumbs through the pamphlets, looking at the various titles.
"That blows. How am I supposed to figure this out?" She looks at Gloria.
God, how is she supposed to do it? But they won't even let me talk about it, at all.
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I really am. I'm not even supposed to give you some of those pamphlets. But� you should know the whole range of choices."
"This sucks," Buffy mutters, jamming the pamphlets in her purse. "Guess I was right, huh? You can't help me." She looks up at Gloria, and smiles. It's kind of a hard, bitter smile. "Got myself into this, guess I gotta figure out how to fix it myself. Thanks. Loads."
Before Gloria can say anything else, Buffy is through the door and gone.
Sometimes I just hate this job.
Almost every day, actually.
She closes the door behind Buffy.

2

Dawn is on a mission.
Exiting her last class before lunch, she looks this way and that, to avoid anyone she knows. Then, she craftily inserts herself into the crowd, letting the flow carry her outside.
Perfect cover! She congratulates herself, mussed up a little by the crowd. Hey, watch hand there, buster! She glares at a freshman, who withers under gaze. That's private property, you know! Grrrr!
Once the crush is through the doors, Dawn maneuvers her way to the edge of the crowd, and as they pass on to the cafeteria, she makes her escape.
Keeping close to the buildings so not to be obvious, she makes her way to a remote part of the campus. Every once in awhile, she ducks behind a corner, and looks, watching to be sure she's not being followed. Finally, she cuts across the lawn, and sits under the shade of a large tree.
Good, all alone. No one can spot me now! Dawn chortles. Operation Get 'em together must continue! The fate of the free world, and hey, my family, depends on it. Ok, now, you know what to do, Agent Dawn. Be crafty! Be clever! Be careful! You mustn't get caught, or we'll disavow any knowledge of your actions! Ok, now!
Dawn, ever vigilant, looks left and right, and satisfied she's truly alone, pulls her cell phone out of her purse. Scanning the area one more time for any possible enemies, she opens it and dials a number. She waits, listening to it ring.
And ring.
And ring.
Finally, almost ready to abort the mission, the other end is picked up.
"Hello? Mrs. Blankenship? This is Dawn. Dawn Summers. Joyce Summers Daughter? Right, yes, Dawnie Doo�" Dawn rolls her eyes. "I�m fine thank you. How are you?" She listens, tapping her fingers and making little faces as Mrs. Blankenship gives her a history of the morning. "Yes, I am in school, ma'am. What? Oh, no, I'm on lunch. Right� Mrs. Blankenship? Why I'm calling is about my mom. Oh, no, she's fine. Yes, she's at work, yes. As a matter of fact, she called me from there. See, I know she called you to stay with us tonight because she had to go out to a business dinner� yes, ma'am�and she just called me here on my cell phone. I guess the client that she was meeting at dinner had to go out of town this evening, so they're moving the meeting up to a lunch. Yes. Lunch. So, anyway, she wanted me to tell you that she won't need you to come over tonight. No, yes� why didn't she call you herself?" Damn! Wait� ok, I got it� "See, thing is, she's stuck in a business meeting, and she couldn't break away to get your number� but she had mine, so she called me to call you to tell you� yes, right. Uh-huh. So, you see? You won't need to come over tonight. Yes, that's right. Oh. Empanadas? You were making empanadas for me and Buffy? How nice!" Dawn mimes gagging. "Oh, and you were going to bring slide of your trip to Vera Cruz. What? Have we seen them before? No, I don't think so, ma'am�" Like only a bajillion times�" what? Oh, yes, that's too bad. Maybe we can do it another time. Yes. Right. Ok then, so you understand. You don't have to come over tonight. Right. Ok, well� yes� really?" Dawn listens, as Mrs. Blankenship describes in excruciating detail about her trip to the market, with the attendant eye rolls, faces and finger tapping. "Yes� Oh my, there's the bell now. Gotta go to class. Right. Yes, of course. Another time. I'd love to. Right. Goodbye, Mrs. Blankenship. What? Oh� yes�ok, bye bye�" Dawn clicks the phone closed before Mrs. Blankenship can think of something else to say.
Man, that was hard. Impossible, nearly mind bendingly painful. But mission accomplished. Oh yeah! Score another one for Agent Dawn! YAY!
Dawn gets up, and slips the phone in her purse. "Man, I'm good!" She declares. "No, wait. I'm great! Oh yeah!" She starts doing a little dance, stamping her feet and jumping around, hands clasped over her head. "I'm good! I'm great! Oh yeah! I rock! You know it! Oh yeah!"
"What do you think? Great?" A voice interrupts Dawns victory dance. She's so startled, she nearly falls down. She whirls to see�
Xander and Willow, standing watching her. She turns about 7 shades of red.
"Oh yeah. I definitely say great," Xander nods, seriously. "A 10� maybe an 11!"
"What? What're you guys doing here? Can't a girl get some privacy? How long have you been standing there?" Dawn is flustered, embarrassed and more than a little perturbed.
"Last first?" Willow asks Xander.
"I think so, "Xander says, agreeably.
"Ok, then. Just a minute or two. Yes, but find a spot that we don't use all the time, We saw you as we came here, so we thought we'd say hi, and what? What?"
"Are you guys spying on me? Are you like following me?"
"Uhhh� no, like I just said, we come here to talk about stuff. We've had this spot for years. Almost nobody comes here. So, if you want absolute privacy? Find your own spot!"
"How come you never brought me here?" She turns to Xander.
"Uh, well, this is kind of me and Will's place. Our place to be alone and talk when we need to. You know? Private like."
"Wait a minute. You two? Are together? You're talking? To each other?" Dawn looks confused. "When did this happen?"
"Well, yesterday, actually. At lunch. When Xander came over and apologized to me�"
"I didn't apologize, I simply stated my position, and admitted to being a butthead."
"But, you two aren't fighting anymore?" Dawn looks at them warily.
"Nope. We're good. Friends again, and all that stuff."
"ALL RIGHT!!! YAY!!!" Dawn, in a burst of enthusiasm, flings herself at them, arms outstretched to hug them.
Dawn isn't very heavy. Maybe 105 soaking wet. Still, she has weight, and when your not expecting 105 pounds of enthusiastic girl to come flying at you, the inevitable happens.
She knocked the both of them over, and they landed in a heap on the ground.
"GEEZE!" Willow says, shaking herself off and sitting up. "What hit us?"
"WHOA!" Xander, likewise prone, brings himself to a sitting position. "Supergirl, or what?"
"That's Ms. Supergirl to you, Mr. Xander Harris," Dawn gets up, having taken the worst of it. "And hey, what am I doing talking to either of you! I'm still mad at you!"
Brushing off, trying to recover what few shreds of dignity she has left, Dawn stands up and turns around, back to the pair.
"Yeah, we know�" Willow starts.
"� but we were kinda hopin'�" Xander continues.
"� that somehow you could find a way to forgive us for being mega poopheads."
"Hey, I wasn't a mega Poophead�" Xander protests.
"Oh yeah you were, Mr. Harris," Dawn demurs.
"Well, I wasn't any bigger Poophead than she was�" Xander points at Willow.
"Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?"
"Yours. Peace?"
"Oh yeah."

"You guys were both poopheads. Big stinky poopheads," Dawn declares, still turned away from them.
"Yeah, but pookie�" Xander scrambles to his feet, and moves over to Dawn, surrounding him with his arms. "We made nice. Didn't we Will?"
"Right, mega nice.''
"Yeah, and we're all friends and stuff again. Can't you find it in your heart to forgive us, pookie?" Xander leans his head on her shoulder. "Please?"
'Pookie'? That's the best he can do? Gag! Willow thinks, watching them.

"I dunno," Dawn shakes him off, moving away. But not too far away. "I mean, god, how can you two guys do that to each other?"
"It was a fight, Dawn. People fight�" Xander tries to move closer, but she puts up her hand.
"No you don't. That wasn't just a fight. I know what a fight is. I have 'em all the time with my sister. However, no matter how badly we fight, we never threaten to cut each other off. You guys� you're like friends forever. Almost like brother and sister� right?"
"I guess�" Xander shrugs.
"Xander? My brother? Oh please� ok, ok, yes, Dawn, he's like my brother. Honest!"
"You're like family. You should stick together, no matter what. I mean yeah, bitch and complain at each other and even fight. But never threaten to walk away, just because things get tough� god, I'd love to have what you two got. All my friends, the ones I grew up with, they're all back in L.A. I don't have any friends here like that�"
"Hey, we can always go to L.A. and meet them. I mean, you don't�"
"Not the point, Xander," Dawn says. "I mean, we write and stuff. But my life is here now. And I want to make friends� friends I'm gonna have for life, you know? And how can I be friends with you guys, if you're going to split up all the time and junk? I mean, haven't I had enough of that�." Dawn frowns�" I mean with my parents splitting up. You guys got both each, right?"
"You want my parents? You can have them, cheap," Xander jokes.
"When I see them�"
"God, you two don't have a clue. Don't you get it? I'd love for my mom and dad to be together again, to be a family again. But�" She pauses, making the adjustment. "� that's probably not gonna happen. I got my mom, and my dad. But we're not like before. We're not a family. Not really. I can't see my dad any old time I need too, and my mom has to take care of me and my crazy sister without help. It's not easy, and it's � it's important to have family. Family's everything. You both have family� maybe not the greatest, but you got it. And you got each other, and that's even MORE special ,and you're willing to throw it away on a whim. And frankly, I can't understand it, and I don't like it."
Xander and Willow stand there, somewhat wilted under Dawn's tirade.
"We're sorry," Xander says.
"We didn't mean it," Willow says.
"It won't happen again."
Dawn just stares at the two of them, arms crossed over her chest.
"Look, honey," Willow gets up, walking over to Dawn, "what you said the other day? Got through, honest. You're right. What me and Xander have is too important to just throw away. We talked a lot yesterday, and we both agree. If we ever get to the point where we think we might quit, we stop, and take a time out, and talk about it. Really talk, be honest with each other and work it out." She looks over at Xander. "I love the goofball too much not to want him around, you know?"
"Yeah, what she said, only double for me," Xander nods, coming closer.
"Ok, well that's good. That's really good." Dawn nods, "And I'm glad you figured out how to deal with it, you know?" She puts up her hands to stop them from getting closer. "but that doesn't mean we're good. You guys and me. Cuz, you guys put me in the middle. I felt bad when I was with one, but the other was being left out, and vice versa. It just isn't fair, using me like that."
"I know� we know�" Xander says, "And we're really sorry."
"That's good. You should be. It was wrong. But � I just can't go willy nilly getting back with you because what's to say you won't do it again? No, I'm sorry. This isn't that easy to fix. I have to think about it."
"Dawn�"
"No, I said, I have to think about it. And I expect you to respect that."
"You're right, Dawn. I do, I respect that. So does Xander�" there's a pause while Willow waits for Xander to chime in. "Xander!"
"Yes, I respect that. I get it. Ok, we'll� we'll give you time."
"All the time you need, Dawnie."
"Good."
Dawn turns away for a few moments, and then turns back to them.
"Ok, I thought about it. You're forgiven. Hugs!"
Xander and Willow look at her like she's crazy.
"C'mon, c'mon," She opens her arms wide and gestures them in with her fingers. "Hugs all around."
Shaking their heads, the two penitents come in and are surrounded by arms as the three of them hug each other.
"Now, isn't that better?" Dawn asks them.
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"And, I have to say, I get it. I mean, I just have to remember that sometimes, you guys are gonna fight, and maybe do stupid stuff. I gotta remember that this is normal, and that you really love each other, and I have to make allowances for your feelings�"
Willow narrows her eyes.
"You're really loving this, aren't you?"
"What?" Dawn asks innocently.
"The whole moral superiority thing. You're loving it."
"Oh yeah, big time," Dawn nods.
"Well I for one am happy, and starving. Can I escort you ladies back to the caf� so we can dine al fresco?"
"What did he say?" Dawn asks Willow.
"I dunno. Something about walking back to the cafeteria to get some grub before classes."
"Oh. Cool, I'm in!"
The two take one arm each of Xander, putting him in the middle. He's grinning. He loves having two lovely women on his arms.
"Well, I can honestly say, I'm totally relieved," Xander says. "I mean, making this up. I was so sure I was gonna have to make new plans for the prom�"
"Prom?" Dawn perks up. "You're asking me to the prom?"
"Well, duh. I thought that was a given."
"Wait. Did you say make new plans?" Dawn turns and looks at Xander, frowning. "You were thinking of taking another girl?"
"No� I mean, I would've if we didn't make it up, but I wasn't thinking- thinking about it."
"But you were thinking about it, Xander?" Willow swoops in from the other side. "You were going to strand Dawn here, and take some floozy to the prom?"
"Hey, wait a minute! She broke up with me!"
"But you deserved to be broken up with!" Dawn insists. "Ok, who was it? Who were you going to take to the prom instead of me? Who?"
"Yeah, Xander, who?" Willow cuts off any retreat.
"I�I�" Xander grows more and more confused. "I dunno� maybe Janice�"
"Janice Peterson? You were going to take Janice Peterson to the prom instead of me?" Dawn punches him on the arm.
"OW! Hey!"
"Totally cold, Xander," Willow shakes her head. "I expected better out of you."
"Whose side are you on?" Xander complains, with aching arm.
"Well, in this case, on my Sistuh's side, you know?" She holds up her hand for a high five, which Dawn meets. "Never mess with the XX, Xander!"
"Yeah, don't mess with us!"
Oh, god! Xander moans, as they start to enter the cafeteria. I don't gotta chance here�
Willow glances to her side, and pulls up to a stop.
"Hey, guys, why don't you go on without me. I just remembered I got something I gotta do�"
"Aw, c'mon, Willow," Dawn says, pulling up Xander to a stop. "We just made up and everything. Don't even break up the party now."
"Yeah, Will. And it's lasagna day. You know you like lasagna�" Xander cocks his head. "I hear they even use real meat in it and everything�"
"Tempting as that sounds," Willow puts on apologetic face, "I really gotta go. You guys have fun, 'K?"
"How come you didn't say you had to do something�" Xander looks puzzled.
"Never mind, Xander. Let's go," Dawn pulls on his sleeve. "See you later, Willow?"
Thanks, Dawnie. I owe you one.
"Count on it," Willow says, turning and slipping out of the cafeteria.
"What's with her?" Xander looks at the doors Willow disappeared through.
"You big goof. Are you that dense? She wanted to give us 'alone time'," Dawn hits him on the arm. "Don't you want to be alone with me?"
"Well, duh," Xander says, accepting her explanation.
"Well, ok then. Now feed me, before I start getting grouchy again�" Dawn gives him 'the look.'
"Right away, your wish is my command, oh most excellent one, " Xander does a salaam for her.
"That's better. Just so you remember who's in charge here�" She starts towards the line, waggling her fingers. "Well, c'mon. I don't got all day."
Xander hurries to catch her, and slipping an arm through hers, leads her towards the line. Dawn glances briefly over her shoulder at the exit doors.
Wonder what she's up to? Hmmm�

3

Buffy sits in an isolated corner of the quad, staring at the pamphlets the school nurse gave her. Her lunch sits beside her on the stone bench, forgotten.
Adoption? Abortion? God, I can't figure this crap out! I can't do this! Buffy crumples the pamphlets in her hands, this is a nightmare. This has gotta be a nightmare! I'm gonna wake up, and not be pregnant, and everything will be normal again and we're in L.A. and daddy hasn't� Buffy stares at the pamphlet crushed in her hands, and stuffs them in her purse,� hasn't moved away, and we're all happy and a family again. And � oh god, I'm not pregnant� Buffy seems to deflate further, falling more into herself. God, what am I going to do? I can't tell anyone� not mom� not � anyone� god, what would mom think, if she knew? She'd kill me! And dad�? Buffy squeezes her eyes shut at the thought. Oh god, he'd hate me, too! God, I can't BE pregnant! It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare, it's a bad, bad nightmare and I'm going to wake up and �.
"Buffy?"
Buffy eyes pop open to see someone standing in front of her. She looks up to see Willow's concerned face looking down at her.
"Buffy, what is it? Are you ok?"
Buffy plasters a fake smile on her face.
"Yeah, sure, I'm fine, Willow," She shakes her head, as if impatient. "Why do you keep asking me that? Are you auditioning for the part of my mom? Cuz, if you are, I should tell you, I've already got one!"
"You looked like you're in pain. I was worried�"

"Will, I told you, cramping. And a cold. Not feeling great, remember?"
For the second time, Willow senses something not being said. Yeah, and when did you become Sylvia Brown, huh? Get over it, Will.
"Ok, I remember. I � guess I'll be going. I was just concerned�" Willow turns to leave.
"Hey, wait! Do you� I mean, you could stay, if you want � we could sit and talk and stuff�" She moves her tray to make room. "Please?"
"You sure?" Willow bites back a smile. "I mean, you had a good Garbo going here� hate to interrupt it�"

"Well, you weren't around," Buffy says softly, "And Oz� I dunno, I haven't seen him all day� and pretty much no one else's talking to me, so�" She shrugs.
"Hey," Willow sits down next to Buffy, putting her arm around her. "look, this crap will blow over. Cordelia gets bored easily. She'll drop it, and things will go back to normal�"
Buffy laughs bitterly. "Oh yeah. Normal. Right."
"Buffy, what's going on? What�?"
"Guess you haven't heard the latest, huh, Willow?"
"Huh?" Willow gets that feeling in the pit of her stomach. "What?"
Buffy smiles wickedly, and turning, leans in while putting her hand on Willow's thigh. She pouts prettily. "Gee, baby, how could you forget so soon?" She asks, doe eyed.
"What? What are you doing Buffy?"
"I'm really hurt here, honey. I mean, did you forget all about all those wild make out sessions behind the bleachers after school? You know, where we got naked and sweaty and groin-y." Buffy stares in her eyes, then starts chuckling.
"WHAT?" Willow almost falls off the bench, trying to scramble back. "What're you talking about?"
"Actually," Buffy says coolly, "it's what the school's talking about. You and me. After school. Doing the nasty. Now, who you think started that rumor?"
Willow sits there, the color draining out of her face. To bright red spots appear on her cheeks, and her eyes narrow. "Cordelia. Who else?"
"Oh, yeah," Buffy nods, agreeing. "She's vindictively thorough. Gotta give her that one�"
"I don't gotta give her nothing," Willow, her voice hard, stands up. "Except maybe a swift kick to her oversized ass. I've had it with her. I'm so gonna �"
"Will, don't," Buffy grabs her by the sleeve. "Don't, it's not worth it. It'll only make it worse. I� I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I just thought better you hear it from me than�"
"No, Buffy. Let me go!" Willow pulls away. She starts off.
"Willow, c'mon, don't!" Buffy, putting on a burst of speed, gets in front of Willow, blocking her. "C'mon, just let it go. Come back and sit with me, please?" She smiles a genuine, sweet smile. "Please?"
Willow, despite her anger, can't help but notice how sweet and charming Buffy can be when she wants to be. She stops, and starts to cool off. God, Buffy, why do you have to be straight? You can be sooo cute sometimes�
"All right, I guess�" Willow grumbles, turning around. "But this isn't over, Buffy. She can't keep getting away with this crap."
They walk back to the bench, and sit down. Willow looks at Buffy with a strange expression.
"I don't get it." She finally says.
"You don't get what? Cordelia being a totally snarky bitch? She's evil, Willow."
"No, I get that� what I don't get is why you're not upset. I mean� I'm gay, and being thought of dating you? Not so bad for me. But, I'd expect you to be all�"
"What's the point, Will?" Buffy says, sounding strange.
"Huh?"
Buffy turns to her, and Willow feels a little chill. Buffy's eyes look so� old.
"What's the point? This is high school, Willow. We got what? Half a year to go, max? Why bother getting mad at some �" Buffy waves her hand dismissively,"� some dim bitch's rumors? It's gonna be over soon. And then, who cares about high school, right? Why make a big deal about it?"
"Ok, who are you? What did you do with Buffy?"
Buffy laughs, a deep, genuine from the toes laugh. She puts her arm around Willow, hugging her. "God, Will, there's so much other crap going on. Whatever Cordelia does or doesn't do, who really gives a rat's ass? In like 100 years we'll all be dead, then who'll even remember?"
" Well, that's a cheery thought," Willow says, "ok, really now. What did you do with my friend Buffy?"
Buffy just squeezes her shoulders again. "Anyway, I can think of lots of things a lot worse than being your girlfriend, you know?" She smiles at Willow.
"Thanks, I think," Willow looks at her strangely. "Buffy Summers, did you just flirt with me?"
"Maybe, "Buffy says in a sing song voice. "Did you like it?"
"I dunno. Let's see. Cute girl flirts with me. No, I hated it! But, aren't you forgetting oh� something? Some things, actually."
"Eh?"
"Well, for one thing. I'm gay, and you're not."
"Oh yeah. That's right," Buffy plays the dumb blonde." Still�"
"And, what about oh, I don't know a penis?" Willow diverts her, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. What's with her? " And Oz?* you seem to be getting� cozy�"
"Yeah. Oz. Right. Bummer." Buffy nods. "That's a problem."
She sits there, pretending to think about it.
"How do you feel about threesomes?"
"Buffy!" Willow blushes scarlet.
"I'll take that as a maybe?" Buffy's tone is arch, "I think you're cute when you're flustered."
"I think�you're mean!"
"What?"
"You're making fun of me, and it's not funny, Buffy. Not funny at all."
"What're you talking about?"
"Is this your way of getting back? Making fun of me because of what's being said around school?" Willow's tone is harsh. "I didn't spread those rumors, Buffy. Cordelia did."
"I know that, Willow," Buffy is bewildered. "What I'm not getting is where this is coming from. I'm not being mean, I'm just kidding around�"
"Oh yeah? Really? The way you acted when I told you I was gay, you almost ran me over trying to get away from me! And you've never really accepted me as a friend, not really. God, you're major league homophobe� and I'm supposed to sit here and believe you're 'kidding around'? You're making fun of me, like I'm some kinda freak! You can't deal with me being gay, so you take it out on me by being crude and suggestive. It's probably killing you that the school thinks you're gay too, and you attack me because Cordelia is being nasty to you! How are you any different than she is? Oh, I know � she's at least upfront when she's being nasty�"
Buffy has gone pale. She's just sitting there, shaking.
"I don�t even know where to start to say how stupid that is," Buffy begins.
"Oh, you're calling me stupid now, too!"
"Well, DUH! If you think I really give a rat's butt about you being gay, yeah! If you think I'm trying to humiliate you, yeah, you're stupid!" Buffy gets up, looking angrier than Willow's ever seen her. "God, exactly HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM???? Yeah, ok, I admit it. When you first told me your were gay, I was a little wigged. Maybe if you had done it differently, not drop it on me like a bomb, I might not have acted like an idiot. Yeah, I admit to acting like an idiot. But I grew to know you, and respect you, and yeah, like you. Whether you believe it or not, I like you. I think you're pretty damned brave, being out and not taking crap about it."
"But � god, that doesn't give you a right to attack me when I'm just goofing with you. Friends do that, Willow! Get it? But I guess you don't� cuz you don't think I'm your friend. I'm sorry I wanted to be a cheerleader, Willow. I really am. But that's what I knew; who knew that Cordelia would turn out to be a class A bitch. Even I wasn't in her league back in L.A. I never did the things she's done to me and you. And you know what else? How stupid would I have to be to get snarky with the one person that actually is talking to me? You think I like feeling all alone? Think it's fun? Why would I want to hurt you, Will? I know you're not � oh shit, why am I even talking to you? Look at you! You think I� crap�"
Buffy suddenly lets out a small whimper, and goes even paler. A line of sweat appears on her forehead. She reaches back, and grabs her purse.
"Know what? I'm tired of trying. All you people around here� treat me like crap. I'll be damned glad when I graduate so I can � " She hunches over a little, grabbing her stomach. "Shit!" Without another word, she turns and makes a beeline for the school buildings, and the closest bathroom.
"Buffy! Wait, I'm sorry� I � " Willow starts after her, and sees something flutter out of her purse. She stops and grabs it up, then runs after Buffy, trying to catch up with her.

* * *

Buffy bursts through the bathroom door, and finding the first stall empty, just closes the door and kneels by the toilet when the little lunch she ate comes back up. She almost collapses over the toilet as sound of her vomiting fill the bathroom.
Willow pushes through the bathroom door moments later, panting. She hears the sounds of someone being sick, and heads for the stall. She tries to open the door, but it's locked.
The smell, however, is strong, and her stomach churns in sympathy.
"Buffy, please, let me in," She knocks on the stall door, "I'm sorry, really� please�"
"Go� away�" Buffy rasps out, then another wave of nausea hits her. She leans over and more comes up.
"Please, Buffy, let me in. Let me help you, please?"
More retching is heard.
"Just go away. That'd help loads," Buffy gasps from the other side of the door. "Can't you people just leave me alone?"
Feeling dizzy, but the nausea eased, Buffy leans over the toilet, trying to get her wind back.
"Buffy, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm stupid. Just� when you � well, goofed around, I got scared. See, I gotta confess. I really have felt attracted to you for � well, since I met you. But I knew you were straight, and I don't � straight girls? Just never work out� so I was hurt when you got all bent in the Bronze about me being gay� and I just accepted you couldn't deal. And then you flirted with me and I � got scared. Really scared cuz� I liked it too much� and I don't want you to hate me�see?"
There's a long silence from the other side. Then the toilet flushes, and Willow hears the click of the door lock being pushed back. She steps back, expecting Buffy to emerge. But when nothing happens, she moves forward, and opens the door.
Buffy is sitting on the toilet, elbows on knees, head down. Her hair is hanging loose in front, covering her face.
"Buffy?"
"Sorry, Willow. I don't feel like that for you. Wish I could. but I can't."
"I know," Willow says softly. "I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, really. I'm so sorry�"
"I do like you," Buffy looks up, and Willow is a little shocked. Her face is puffy and blotchy, and her eyes are too dark. "Pretty, huh?" She reads Willow's expression.
"No, I mean� yes, no. oh god, I'm sorry�"
"I shouldn't have teased you, " Buffy says softly. "I just � well, you were so angry and I was hoping to kid you out of it�"
"Buffy, you're sick. What's going on?" Willow kneels down by her, "You can tell me anything you know."
"God, Will. Don't make a big thing out of it, " Buffy looks down, "I told you, I'm crampy and I think I've got a �"
"Buffy, this fell out of your purse�" Willow hands Buffy the crumpled brochure. Buffy looks at it, and groans. She snatches it away from Willow.
"Doesn't mean anything. I � I got it for a�" She looks up into Willow's soft, sympathetic eyes and her will crumbles. She starts to shake, the tears overflowing down her cheeks. "Oh god, Willow."
Willow reaches out and takes Buffy in her arms, holding her close. Buffy clings to her and sobs.
"Shhh, it's going to be ok, Buffy�" Willow rubs her back. "It's going to be ok now."
"God, Willow, how can it be ok?" Buffy cries, clinging tighter. "I'm in so much trouble. I don't know what to do. I � oh god�" She starts to cry harder, the emotional dams she's built to protect herself crumbling.
"C'mon, Buffy. " Willow gently eases the girl to her feet. "I'll take you home. Then we can call your mom and she�"
"No!" Buffy breaks from her, moving away. "I can't� you can't� you can't tell her, Willow. You can't tell anyone. Promise me! Please, promise me you won't tell!"
"Buffy, you have to tell your mom. She'll�"
"She'll hate me! She already � no, you can't tell her! She can't ever know �"
"Buffy, you're not making sense. Your mom loves you. She'd want to help �"
"She can't help� no one can help, Willow. You can't tell her or anyone else. Promise me, please�"
"Buffy, I can't do that. You need your mom� who's going to deal with the boy's parents who did this to you? She�"
"Nooo� not� no one here did this�I�" She backs against the stall wall, trying to disappear. "It wasn't anyone here that� "
"Buffy� oh god, did some�did an adult do this to you? Were you�?"
"What? No� I wasn't raped� I� you don't understand. I can't tell on him, he'd� no, you can't� please�" Buffy gets down on her knees, wrapping her arms around Willow's legs. "Please, don't tell my mom. Please, Willow, please!" She starts crying again, leaning against Willow.
Oh god, she's so scared! Poor baby, who did this to her? She's gotta tell� someone� She looks down at the miserable girl, and her heart melts. But she's so scared. I can't � she needs me to be there for her�
"Ok, ok, honey, it's ok," Willow caresses her hair. "I won't tell anyone. Not til you're ready, ok?"
"Thank you, thank you Willow," Buffy presses against her. "I love you, you know that don't you?"
"Sure, Buffy," Willow reaches down. "C'mon, let's get you home, anyway."
She helps Buffy to her feet.
"No, I'm � I'm ok, I just need to rest a little bit." Buffy sits down on the toilet again, "if I go home now, it'll be suspicious. I just need a little breather."
"Buffy, you're ill. You shouldn't�"
"Willow, please? I'm ok, really�" She looks up, eyes pleading. "I promise I'll lay down when I get home, but for now, I've gotta act normal, ok? Please?"
"Ok, Buffy," Willow agrees reluctantly. She turns as if to go.
"Where are you going?" Buffy suddenly panics. "Can't you stay with me for a little while? We don't have to talk or nothing. Just� it's nice to know you�re here �"
"I'm just going to get some wet towels so you can cool your face. You're kind of a mess�"
"Oh, sorry. Kinda� " Buffy shrugs. "You throw up your lunch, see how good you look."
Willow turns, walking to the sink. Getting some towels from the dispenser, she wets them under cool water. She looks at herself in the mirror.
This is a big mistake, girl. You know you're going to regret this. She has to tell someone. Her mom, or someone�
I'll talk to her, convince her. But not now! She just needs someone to hold her hand, tell her it's going to be ok.
And if it's not ok? What then?

Willow turns away from the mirror.
She doesn't know that answer.

4

"Wow! Look at you!"
Dawn and Buffy are in the living room, watching some TV when Joyce walks in, dressed for her date.
Joyce is wearing a black silk three quarter length gown, with an A-line bust. The details around the bust are done in a silver thread, giving it a rich, slightly exotic look. The gown itself is pleated and hangs just below the knees, and split in the front, joining just above the knees, giving it a semi circular effect around the legs. On her shoulders is a black sequin bolero jacket, and the look is finished off with 2 inch heeled pumps, a small black sequined purse with a silver shoulder chain, and a small diamond drop necklace around her throat.
"So, this is a business dinner, huh? Hmmm�." Dawn takes a tour around her mom. "Looks more like a date to me."
"Dawn, I told you, this is a business dinner. It's just Mr. Giles is taking me to a rather exclusive club, and I need to dress properly. I don't think a business suit would be appropriate for this."
"I see," Dawn says, currently behind her mother. She leans in and sniffs. "Is that Opium I smell?" She grins a little crookedly. "Exactly what kind of business was this about again?"
"Dawn Summers!" Joyce flushes, "I'm not going to dignify that with an answer!"
"Sure, mom�" Dawn leans in close, almost whispering in her ear. "So, what do you think Faith would think of you in that dress, huh?"
"Dawn, I'm warning you�" Joyce replies, sotto voce, to her daughter. "that's enough. Understand?" The steel in her voice is evident, even in a whisper.
Dawn moves away, sitting back down on the sofa. "Well, whatever mom. Have a good time." Where is she? She's supposed to be here by now. Why isn�t she here?
"It's business, Dawn. It's not about having a good time." Joyce's voice has a note of exasperation in it. Maybe it's to cover the slight uneasiness she's feeling. What would Faith think of me going out dressed like this?� Wait, what am I doing? She made it pretty clear that she � still�
"Buffy? What do you think?" Joyce walks into the living room a little deeper, so Buffy can get a better look.
Buffy looks up, and there is a distant quality in her expression. A faint smile appears on her face.
"You look great, mom. Don't listen to � Dawn here. Her idea of fashion starts and ends in jeans. You look real nice for your date�"
"You're so full of it Buffy�" Dawn looks at her, a strange expression on her face. "What's the suck up about?"
"No suck up, dope. Just, I think she looks nice�"
"Thank you, Buffy. Nice one of my daughters isn't being prickly tonight," She looks at Dawn with a slightly disapproving frown.
"Hey, I think you look great, " Dawn puts her hands up in surrender. "I'm just thinking, there're others to consider here�" She gives her mom a look.
"Dawn, how many times do I have to say, there's nothing going on but business here�"
Buffy sighs, and her shoulders slump. "What's the deal? Let's get real here for a second, ok? Face it Dawn. Dad's not coming back. No happily ever after for the Summers' family. It's over. So, if mom wants to go out on a date with a � I gotta say it, mom, he's kinda a stud, at least for your age group� I say go for it. Let's not make a big deal out of it, ok?"
Joyce and Dawn both look at Buffy like she's a pod person from the planet Venus. Dawn looks at her mom, and Joyce feels her mom radar go off into overdrive. She comes over to Buffy, and lays a hand on her forehead.
"You don't feel feverish. Are you ok, Buffy?" She looks closely, and notices the slightly sallow cast to her skin. "You look a little pale, honey." She places her hands under Buffy's chin.
Buffy shakes her head and moves away, giving her mom a strange look.
"Geeze, what's the deal? I'm fine, ok? I just said you looked nice and you should enjoy your date. What's with the Florence Nightingale routine?"
"You're acting weird, Buffy," Dawn pipes up. "You're being nice and all, you gotta be sick or something!"
"Dawn that's enough � we're just concerned about you, Buffy�"
"Oh for god's sake," Buffy loses her temper. "Ok, I know I've been like a real bitch around here. Not dumb, and I'm sorry. But maybe if you'd been more honest about stuff, and didn't like try to hide stuff all the time, I wouldn't get so angry all the time. I'm not a child, mother, whatever you think. I get it, ok? You're dating, you've been dating, if you want to admit it or not. I get frustrated because you feel you gotta protect me. Well, too late for that. I grew up. Geeze!" She stands up, and walks towards the stairs.
"Buffy, I'm sorry honey. It's just that you've been so�"
"I know, mom, I know," Buffy says in a tired voice. "I'm kinda feeling crappy. I'm all crampy, and I think I'm getting a cold. So I'm just gonna go finish my homework and go to bed." She starts up the stairs, and then stops. "If that's ok with you?"
"You're sick? Honey, I can stay home�"
"Don't! Please, go out, ok? I'm not dying, just feel punk. I'll be ok tomorrow."
Waving to no one in particular, she goes upstairs.
Joyce goes to the doorway, watching her. She's definitely worried about her.
"Maybe I should cancel tonight�"
"It's up to you, mom," Dawn shrugs, looking at the clock. Where is she? She said she'd be here by now! Darn her!" You know what? Buffy's right. You should go. We can handle here�" What's the point, if Faith isn't going to come?
Joyce looks at her watch. "Where's Mrs. Blankenship. I told her to be here by 7:30. She usually punctual�"
"She probably got hung up on something. Probably figuring how to truck over the case of slides of her trip to Vera Cruz. God, does that lady do anything else?"
"Dawn, that's not nice. She's a nice lady, and a good neighbor."
"Yeah, and booooring. I swear, if I see one more slide of Vera Cruz, I'm gonna scream!"
"You'll do no such thing! Pat's been a great help to us, and I think we can be polite enough to share her enthusiasms�" Joyce can't help it, a small grin breaks out on her face. "God, she is boring, isn't she? And that voice as she narrates�" Joyce shakes her head. "Better than a sleeping pill�"
Both laugh at that.
"Don't worry, mom, I won't let on I've seen the slides a dozen times now. She's ok, if a little too focused on Vera Cruz�" She giggles.
"I know you won't, Dawn. You're a good girl � most of the time�"
"I'm sorry I got snarky earlier too. I�" Dawn hesitates. Don't blow your hand to her, Dawnie. Still, I gotta try."� what about Faith, mom? I mean, should you really be dating someone else if you love her?"
Joyce feels a mixture of emotions go through her, and she walks over to Dawn, putting her hand on her shoulder.
"Sweetie, you're right. I do love Faith. But sometimes, love isn't enough. Things happen, and while you want to be together, sometimes it just isn't that simple. Understand?"
"No, mom. Sorry, but I really don't!" Dawn lets a little of her peevishness show. "You love her. She loves you. Why can't you fight for each other, instead of with each other? I mean, sure you'll fight and all, but isn't being together most important? Face stuff together� and deal with it�"
"Dawn, things aren't always that simple, honey�"
"Why not? I mean, why does it have to be so complicated? Fight, talk, do whatever you gotta do, but don't just walk away from each other. How does that work, if you love each other?"
God, when did you get to be so smart? Joyce shakes her head, feeling pride in her daughter.
Before Joyce can say a word, however, the front doorbell rings.
"Well, that must be British guy," Dawn says, not able to hide all the asperity in her voice. "You better get that."
"Dawn, that's enough. Mr. Giles is a very nice man, and I want you to be on your best behavior around him. Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geeze, not like I'm 10, mom. I won't throw a tantrum!" Dawn says, sounding on the edge of one. Nice going Faith. Real nice. Blew it big time!
Joyce looks at her watch again.
"I don't understand it. Pat should be here by now. Maybe I should call her�"
"No!" Dawn almost has a cow. God, if she finds out� "I mean, geeze, mom. She'll get here. And I promise. Neither Buffy nor I will run away before she does. We can take care of ourselves for like 5 minutes or whatever."
"You're right, of course," Joyce nods, walking towards the front door. "It's just that she's usually so punctual. I'm kind of worried about her�"
"Mom. Go. Tell you what. If she isn't here in like 15 minutes, I'll go over there and check on her, ok?"
"Ok honey. Thank you. Don't forget, get your homework done before you go to bed. Don't spend all night in front of the TV again."
"I won't mom." The doorbell rings again. "Now, better get that before he changes his mind and leaves."
"Ok, ok. You'd think you were trying to get rid of me," Joyce laughs. She turns and walking to the front door, answers it. "Hi, Mr. Giles. My, don't you look nice this evening." She opens the door, and steps back, allowing Rupert Giles to enter.
"I have to say, Joyce. You're a vision tonight. You look absolutely smashing!"
"Why, thank you, Mr. Giles," Joyce blushes just a touch, and does a small pirouette to show off her dress.
"Rupert, please." Giles holds the door for Joyce, "Shall we?"
"Dawn honey, we're leaving," Joyce calls out.
Dawn gets up off the sofa and crosses to the foyer.
"Have fun, mom," She turns and looks at Giles. "Well, hey British guy, you look� dressy. Don't keep her out too late�" She stalls a little for time. "And If anything happens, you call me. If you have a flat tire, call me, I'll come get you�"
"Exactly who's the mom here?" Joyce says, mockingly. "You have my number, right? If you need me? And we'll be at the Maison del Mar if you have trouble�"

"Got it mom, for like the thousandth time, ok?"
"And call me if Mrs. Blankenship doesn't show�"

"I will, mom, promise."
"Maybe I should just give her a quick call�"
"Mom? GO!" Dawn teasingly starts pushing her out the door. "Promise. The house will still be here when you get back. Me too! Now, shoo."
"Ok, ok," Joyce grins. "You'd think you were trying to get rid of me�" She starts for the door. She stops and turns to Dawn. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" She gives her daughter a look. "You know the rules. No guests while you're on restriction� especially boy guests. Right?"
"GO!"
Joyce and Giles cross over the porch, and start down the stairs. Rupert leads the way towards his car, but Joyce stops suddenly.
"Oh my goodness, is that yours?"
Sitting by the curb is a restored 1932 Duesenberg J Murphy Coupe convertible. Painted moonlight white, with red upholstery, it definitely stood out from the crowd.
"Yes, it is. A bit much, I guess, but �" Giles shrugs, "I like it. Rather classic in its lines�"
"It's�beautiful�" Joyce runs her hand over the bumper.
Not as beautiful as you� Giles admires her in the moonlight by the car.
"So, think it'll do?" He says, crossing to open her door.
As if on cue, a loud roaring is heard down the street, and both look up to see a motorcycle roar down the block, and at the last moment turn into Joyce's driveway. The rider brings it to a halt next to Joyce's SUV, and jumps off, walking towards the couple.
"Do you know this person, Joyce?" Giles, a little taken aback, comes to her side.
"Yes, I do," Joyce says, a little stunned. What's SHE doing here?
"Well, hey. Talk about your timing. Man, I almost missed the happy couple." Faith doffs her helmet, sticking it under her arm and approaching Giles. "How ya doin'? My names' Faith."
Without ceremony, or waiting, she grabs his hand and pumps it energetically.
"Giles. Rupert Giles. Pleased to meet you." Giles still looks a bit off center.
"Yeah, you'd be the British guy," Faith nods, looking him over. "You outta be on Masterpiece theater with that voice. You on Masterpiece theater?"
"Faith, what're you doing here?" Joyce, recovering from her shock, speaks up. " I thought you said you couldn't make it."
"Heya, Joycie" Faith uses the nickname she knows Joyce hates. " Yeah, well, I got to thinkin' after our little talk yesterday, and I thought Hey, I owe her, right? After all she's done for me. So, I cleared my schedule and here I am, babe." She winks at Joyce. "Surprise!"
"Well, that's quite all right, Faith. I've made other arrangements for the girls. Mrs. Blankenship�"
"That lady from next door? The Empanada lady? Geeze, Joycie. You wanna bore the kids to death? Forget it. I'm here." She grins hugely. "We'll have a rockin' time now."
"Really, Faith. No need for you to stay. I know you're busy�"
"Excuse me, Miss?" Giles speaks up. His expression has taken on a stern cast.
"Yeah, Jeeves? Somethin' I can do for ya?"
"That's Giles. And I think you could be a little more civil�"
"Yeah, well, I think you could be a little less stuffy." Faith shrugs, and looks over his shoulder. "Whoa. Wicked wheels."
Faith walks around them and goes over to the Duesenberg, rubbing her palm over the paint.
"Class act, dude. Smooth like glass. Musta set ya back a few, huh?" She runs her hand over the upholstery. "Nice."
"Yes. It's a classic. Could you please be careful!" Giles looks a little pained as Faith hops the door and sits behind the wheel.
"Faith! What're you doing? Get out of Mr. Giles' car!"
"Whattya think? Do I look hot, or what? This baby was made for me!"
Giles turns to Joyce, eyes wide. "Who is this girl?"
"She� she's a friend. She's normally� not like this�" Joyce feels the color rising in her neck. "I don't know why she's acting this way�"
Faith hops out of the car and walks over to Giles. "Really, that's one sweet ride. Wanna trade?"
"What?" Joyce and Giles answer simultaneously.
"My baby for your baby."
God, what's got into her? Why is she acting like a mental case?
"C'mon, check it out," Faith grabs Rupert by the arm, and starts pulling him toward her bike.
Rupert, trying to keep a lid on the situation, follows along, looking back at Joyce questioningly.
Joyce wishes the curb would open and swallow her up.
"Faith!"
"Aw, relax, Joycie. Not gonna steal him away. Just wanna show him my bike�" She turns to Giles. "You're gonna love this, Dude."
Faith hauls him over, and pats the gas tank.
"Aint she sweet? 1979 Harley Sportster. Rebuilt her myself. Dual carbs, custom paint, and look at the pipes. You can't find those babies anymore. She's one sweet ride, I'll tell ya." She keys the engine, turning it over. "Listen to her. Smooth as silk."
"Yes, she seems quite � sweet, as you say," Giles nods politely. "So, you built this yourself?"
"Yup, with my own little fingers." She wiggles them close to his face. "You like?"
"It's quite something�" Giles tries to think of a way to get away without making the crazy girl crazier. "Could you excuse me?" He turns to go.
"Actually, no," Faith says softly.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Don't get huffy, guy. I wanna talk to you but I don't wanna upset Joyce, so just smile and act all British-y, ok?"
"I think it's a little late for that," Giles says sternly.
"Maybe. But I'm tellin ya right now. You mess with her, you make her unhappy, and I'll hunt your ass down and fry it. Got me, guy? Nod yes if you understand?"
Giles looks at her, and sees the intensity in her eyes, and nods Yes.
"Good boy. She's a class act, a lot classier than that bucket of bolts you drive," Faith nods at the car. "Got me?"
"That bucket of bolts, as you call it, is a �"
"I know what it is. Thirties vintage Duesenberg, probably a J, with a Murphy built coupe body."
"You know cars," Giles sounds impressed.
"Yeah, maybe I don't got money flowin' out my ass like you do, but I'm not stupid. Thing is, Joyce is like way better than that car. So, I repeat, you got me?"
"I've got you," Giles nods again. "I happen to agree with you."
"Good, cuz she deserves the best. Not somebody that'll play her."
"We agree on that," Giles studies her face. He senses something's off. "Why do you care?"
"Cuz� she's a friend, and I take that seriously. Capice?"
"Absolutely," Giles nods, tight lipped.
"Good. And by the way, you tell her about this little chat, and you might come out someday and find a nasty new dent in that car."
"Are you threatening me?"
"I don't make threats, Mr. Giles. Count on it." She slips her arm in his. "Let's get back before she thinks I'm trying to knife you or somethin'." She starts to lead Giles back to Joyce.
She doesn't quite make it back because Joyce, mortified, intercepts her.
"Faith, what the hell are you doing? You're embarrassing me!"
"Aw, c'mon, Joyce. Me and Jeeves here are just having some fun, aren't we?"
"Yes, a lot of fun," Giles disengages his arm, coming around to Joyce. "You have quite a motorbike there, Faith."
"And yet, you wouldn't trade me your car for it. Your loss. The chicks love it, ya know?" She winks at them. "So, you kids have a blast. Don't worry, the girls are in good hands."
"As I said, Faith," Joyce's tone is a bit chilly, "I have Mrs. Blankenship coming over to stay with them. You needn't bother." She looks over at the house. "Though, she seems to be rather late�" Her brow creases. "Maybe I should go over and see if everything's ok."
"Naw, you go on your date, Joyce," Faith grins tightly at her. "I'll go check on the Empanada lady. I'm sure she just forgot some slides or stuff�" Faith waves them off. "Go on, get outta here. The night's not getting any younger�"
"I told you, Faith. It's not a �" Joyce sighs in exasperation. "Never mind." She turns to Rupert. "Let's go, Rupert. We don't want to be late." She turns and walks to the car. "Goodnight, Faith." Her tone has dropped another 10 degrees.
"Night Joycie," Faith waves at her back.
"Well, goodnight Faith. It's been� an experience."
"Yeah, me too," Faith smirks at him. She turns, and walks up the towards the porch.
Giles goes and opens Joyce's door.
"I'm so sorry, Rupert. I can't tell you how embarrassed I am. She� I've never seen her act that way before."
"Indeed?" Giles' eyes stray up to the house, then back to Joyce. He circles the car, and gets in on the driver's side. "She is the colorful one, isn't she?"
"I don't think that quite covers it, "Joyce is looking at the house.
"Well, I suggest we forget about it, and have a nice time. What do you think?"
Joyce turns to him, and smiles.
"I think you're quite a gentleman, Rupert," She pats his arm. "And I agree."
"Well then�"
He starts the car, and checking traffic, pulls out on the road.

* * *

"What's she doing?" Dawn mutters to herself.
Dawn, secreted behind the living room curtains, watches the little drama unfolding before her.
"Showing him her bike? Why is she showing him her bike? God, is she going to fight for mom, or what? Why is she even talking to British guy, anyway? Why isn't she punching him out? Why is she acting like they're old friends? Geeze, I'd be chasing him away with my bike, not showing him how cool it is? Oh oh� there goes mom! God, she looks pissed! Well, Duh! Faith is acting like a moron. Go on, Mom! Tell her. Tell her you love her! Get rid of that stupid� what? Oh geeze, what is her problem? What kind of � oh crap. Here comes Faith, and she's not looking happy. Better scoot."
Dawn almost trips over the coffee table in her hurry to cross the living room. She gets halfway to the stairs when she realizes that she'll never make it upstairs before Faith comes in and catches her.
Ok, gotta hide. But where? She looks around. No, can't fit behind the sofa� and first place she'll look is the closet. Oh man� where? She spies the drapes, and quickly crosses over to them. Squatting down, she slips behind them. Ok, she'll never find me here�
Nice work, Faith. You almost miss them, and instead of throwing down with that creep, you stand out there making nice. What the hell is wrong with you, anyway? Geeze� do I gotta do everything around here?
I swear, I'll never figure out grown ups�

* * *

Upstairs, Buffy stands by her window, staring out. She can make neither sense nor sensibility out of the little dramedy occurring on the lawn, nor does she really care.
She feels restless and trapped, like a caged animal, not knowing what to do or how to react. All she knows is she's in deep trouble, and she doesn't have a clue how to get out of it.
She lifts her blouse, placing her hand on her still flat belly. What's going on in there? Why're you making me so sick. God, this whole thing is sick!
She turns away from the window, not even seeing Faith walk up to the front porch. Moving almost aimlessly, she picks up her Tunes Player, and sticking in the earphones, lays down on the bed.
God, what were you thinking? Buffy mourns as some female performer sings about love and loss as the backdrop to her problem. Ever hear of birth control? God, now what'm I gonna do? Why didn't I just get on the pill? Oh yeah, and then mom would want to know why, and the whole thing could've blown up in my face!
Like it hasn't now� shit! This whole thing is fucked, and I'm the fuckee and the fucker here. And it didn't even work. Things are just worse now, not better�
What am I gonna do? Shit!
She turns over, rolling up into a ball. Just trying to forget it all for awhile.

5

.
Faith watches the car disappear down the block, a grim expression on her face. Her shoulders slump, almost imperceptibly, as she turns towards the door.
"Well, that was� stupid," Faith curses herself. Could you have looked more stupid? Could you have come off as more of a jealous idiot? Don't think so. What I do think, is a certain young lady has some explaining to do.
She reaches for her keys, and realizes she gave them back to Joyce. Man, now what? She tries the knob, and finds the door open. Well, my luck doesn't totally suck tonight. She steps in the door and closes it behind her.
"DAWN? Where are you? I need to have a little chat with you," Faith calls out from the foyer. She turns and starts towards the living room.
"DAWN?!"
She looks around the living room, and briefly pauses at the curtains. Then she turns and heads back towards the stairs.
"Well, not here. Must've gone upstairs." She walks out of the living room.
A moment later, Dawn peeks out from behind the curtains. Good� She comes out of her crouch, heading for the kitchen and the basement. It'll take her a few to figure out I'm not upstairs, and I can reach the basement and lock myself in. She'll just think I skipped out. Better than facing her�
Dawn enters the foyer, and starts towards the dining room.
"So, going somewhere?"
Dawn freezes in her tracks. She looks up the staircase and sees Faith standing at the railing, looking down. Aw, crap!
"Faith! Hey! There you are! I was looking for you�"
"Uh-huh," Faith starts down the stairs, reaching Dawn and guiding her back to the living room. "Here's a tip. Next time you hide? Make sure everything's covered. Saw your toes stickin' out from under the curtains, Dawnie."
Dawn breaks away from Faith, going over and flopping down on the sofa. "So, I'm guessing you're mad at me?"
"Well, not exactly doin back flips here , but�" Faith sits across from her, on the arm of the chair. "� just what were you figuring was gonna happen, Dawn? Why'd you set me up?"
"Set you up?" Dawn protests. "I wasn't setting you up!"
"Oh�ok, so that wasn't you on the phone last night telling me your mom had a new boyfriend and was dating him, and saying stuff to make me feel jealous� which kinda worked by the way� and telling me I was gonna lose her and everything and that I better get my butt over here, and of course, I was a little�"Faith rolls her eyes. "I acted like a total idiot tonight� that wasn't you�?"
"I just thought you'd want to know mom was dating�" Dawn looks away, not wanting to meet her eyes.
"What about Mrs. Empanada lady? Shouldn't she be here? Joyce said she supposed to be here� think I should call her and check�?" Faith gets up from the couch and starts towards the phone. "This should be interesting �"
"No! I mean�ok, I called her earlier�" Dawn confesses. "told her not to come� cuz I knew you'd be here, so why should she� ok, ok, I did it! Geeze�"
"So, exactly what were you expecting to happen then, Dawn? I mean, other than me watch your mom go on a date with that � guy?" Faith comes over, and leans down. "� you think I was gonna like beat him up or something?"
"Yeah� no, I don't know. Something. Not pretend like he's your best friend ever and show him your bike and stuff. Why didn't you do something? Yell at him or chase him off or something � instead you're out there almost fawning over him�" Dawn shakes her head.
"Dawn, what do you think this is? Passions?" Faith shakes her head. "You think I lay into the guy, trade punches with his wimpy ass and chase him off, what then? Your mom goes all weak in the knees and falls in my arms? Dawn, this is life, not a bad soap opera. Stuff don't work that way in life."
Dawn just frowns at her, tight lipped.
"I know your mom explained we're not together anymore, Dawn. She wants to date, that's her biz, you know? Not mine. It's pretty obvious she wanted to go out with the guy� she looked� crap, she looked sooo hot tonight�" Faith plops down on the sofa next to Dawn. "She pretty much wants to move on, babe. You should let her." Right. That's why you're sitting here feeling like shit because she went out with Prince Charles, right? Hypocrite!
"That's it?" Dawn gapes at her. "Not getting you, Faith. Really not getting you. I thought you loved my mom?"
"Yeah, baby, I do," Faith says quietly.
"But you're ok with her dating someone else?"
"Dawn, it's her choice."
"Wait a minute," Dawn almost explodes off couch, starting to pace. "You love her. She says, she loves you, but because you have a fight, you just walk away, and she can just � date other people? That true for you too? You gonna date other people?"
"Really hadn't thought about it, Dawn." Faith shrugs. "Wasn't planning on it."
"Ok � this is pure nuts, you know that? You and mom? Acting NUTS! What kinda bizzaro world did I wake up in, anyway? You love each other, at least you both say that, but you don't even fight for each other? What kinda crap is that? Don't you care?"
"I care a lot, Dawn," Faith looks up at her. "Your mom means everything to me�"
"I don't believe you," Dawn says, her tone hurt and angry. "You're lying! You don't love her! You don't care about her! If you cared, you never would've walked out. You would've fought with her, maybe, maybe even� I don't know, but you wouldn't run like a dog with its tail between its legs. You� you woulda stayed! You woulda figured it out� you wouldn't� you're a liar! A big , fat, stupid LIAR!"
"Dawn� honey�" Faith gets off the couch, moving towards her.
"NO! GET OUT!" Dawn looks around for something to throw. Not seeing anything, frustrated, she kicks the coffee table, knocking it over. "You don't care about anyone! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! GET OUT!"
She runs at Faith, arms out, trying to push her. "Get outta here! We don�t need you here! Get out! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
Faith ducks around her, wrapping her arms around Dawn. Dawn struggles, trying to push her away.
"Let me go! I hate you! I don't want you around here anymore! Get out! You're mean, you're� MEAN! Let me GO!"
Faith doesn't let go, and Dawn's struggles are very hard. She finally just leans against Faith, crying.
"You're just like my dad," Dawn sniffles, sounding miserable. "You say you care, but you don't. You just run away when things get tough. You don't care about any of us! Why don't you just go?"
For a moment, she leans against Faith, taking what comfort she can. Then, she straightens up, as if shaking it off.
"Let me go, please," Dawn tries to shrug Faith off. "I'm fine, just let me go." This time, she breaks away, moving away from Faith, back to her. "I'm sorry I called you. I shouldn't have interfered. So, maybe you should just go now�"
"Dawn, I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess� I should've explained things better� but I was upset that night I left� I really do care about you. You and Buffy and your mom�"
"Yeah, got it. You care. Sure, I understand." Dawn's voice is cold. "You've done your duty. You can go now." She turns back to Faith, her expression hard. "Sorry I bothered you."
Nice work, Faith. Real nice.
"Dawn, sweetie. Talk to me, ok? Let me explain?"
"What's to explain, Faith?" Dawn shrugs indifferently. She walks over and sits on the couch. "You say you care, you make all the nice noises. But when it counts, you aren't around, you know? You got your own life, my mom's got her own life, and all that crap, you know? I made a mistake. I thought you really cared, really loved my mom. Loved � all of us� but that was pretty dumb, huh? Just like my dad. He says he loves us too, but is he ever around? Can I ever talk to him? No. He's always too busy with this or that, anything but us. Like you� you ever call once since you been gone? See how I� we are? No. Too busy with school, I guess, huh? Yeah, mom told me, you got back in. Good for you. So, go on, go. Do school or whatever. Whatever you gotta do, just go do it." She crosses her arms over her chest, looking away.
"You're right," Faith walks over, sitting next to Dawn. "I should've called. Yeah, I've been busy getting a place, and moving in, and going to class and work and everything, but I should've made time. I'm sorry, honey� I was selfish�"
"You bet you were," Dawn mutters, not looking at her.
"But, it really was hard. You see, honey, I really miss you. And your mom. Even Buffy," Faith smiles a tiny smile. "And talking to you on the phone? Really hurts, you know, cuz I wanna be here with all of you. But I can't right now�"
"Please. If you wanted to be here, you'd be here. Don't lie to me, ok?"
"Dawn, It isn't that simple�"
"What's so hard?" Dawn turns to her, "You want to be somewhere, or you don't. You don't want to be here, so you aren't. It's pretty simple, Faith. If you wanted to be here, you'd be here!"
"You're just like my big brother, Mike. He's the same way. Everything is black and white to him. Stubborn as hell," Faith chuckles, " It's all very easy, Faith. You either do it, or you don't. There's no middle ground, squirt."
"He called you squirt?"
"Oh yeah. Well, that's because my brothers� all of them, are like, giants. Paulie's� well, he's the smallest, and he's 6 foot 3. And here I am, the baby, barely topping 5'5". Geeze, did I ever feel the runt." Faith shakes her head, and sighs. "God, I miss Paulie. Damn, I even miss Brian, and he's a total pig. Damn�" Faith turns away.
"Well, why don't you go see them?" Dawn says, misunderstanding. "I mean, not like anything here's stopping you�"
"I can't, baby." Faith shrugs.
"Can't? Please! Won't is more like it. All you care about is yourself, Faith, or you'd go see them."
"No, Dawn. I can't see them. They won't see me, get it? They all � they act like I died�"
"What? What're you talking about?"
"Look, Dawn, you know where I come from, right? Southie� South Boston?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So, girl, it's very Irish around there, and very Catholic. Very conservative, you know? Lots of rock heads around there, not open to � once they get an idea in there head, it's like pulling teeth to change their minds�"
"You planning on making sense anytime soon?" Dawn says derisively. "otherwise, I'd kinda like to watch TV or something�"
"Dawn, look. My family� couldn't accept me being a lesbian, you know? They � well, let's just say in the faith, it's a big, big sin. They figured I chose to be this way� feel the way I do. They don't get it that it's like what you feel for whatsisface�"
"Xander."
"Yeah, Xander. I can't help I love girls, but they don't see it that way. Lots and lots of fights about that. I didn't even really understand it, and how the heck was I gonna convince some thick headed Irish micks I couldn't help the way I felt?" Faith shrugs, "Maybe I should've played it smart, stayed in the closet with the door tightly locked. But I couldn't do it, Dawnie. I got in all sorts of trouble cuz I was mad all the time. I hated what I felt, and I thought I was crazy, and there was no one to tell me it was ok to feel this way, that for me, it's normal. Like how you feel for Xander. See?"
"Yeah, I guess�" Dawn says reluctantly.
"See, even you think it's weird, don't you?"
"No! I mean, my friend, Willow. She's gay, and I don't think she's weird�"
"Yeah, but your friend Willow. She's not in love with your mother, is she?"
"God NO! That would be�" Dawn turns a deep red. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean�"
"Hey, we're being honest here, right? It's ok, Dawn. I get you don't get it. Shit, tell you a secret?"
"What?"
"Sometimes, I don't get it."
"Get outta here!"
"No, I mean, some of the women I've been with? Make me absolutely insane. Can't see what the attraction was� but I thought at the time I loved them� so, you see, I'm kinda confused, too. Now, put that with a bunch of people who don't want to believe that what you're feeling, you can't help. It's like breathing, you just do cuz that's the way you're made?" Faith sighs. "point is, baby, they figured I chose to be this way. God, that's a laugh. Who'd choose to be gay? I'm sorry, but it's not a choice. Not for me, anyway. But, my family didn't get that. And on my 18th, they essentially kicked me outta the family�"
"What? Your mom and dad�? How? They're supposed to love you. That's�"
"Honey, I don't doubt they love me. I saw the look in their eyes when they did it. Wasn't easy for them. Of course, at the time, I called them some names I wish� I could take back. God, I'd love to just get another day with them, really talk with them. Let them know I love them, even if they don't� even if they're ashamed of me�" Faith lowers her head, "That hurts the worst, Dawn. They're ashamed of me. Like� I'm some �"
"That's horrible! They're evil people!"
"Dawn, stop it! They're my family, and I love them. Just like Mike, I swear. It's not that simple. I love them, and I know, deep down, they love me. But� that's not enough�"
"It should be�"
"Maybe, but it's not. It's like with me and your mom. I love her, and she loves me, but�"
"What? See, that's what I'm not getting. No one's telling me nothing. How am I supposed to understand, if you don't tell me?"
"Fair enough," Faith nods, leaning back on the sofa. "didn't your mom explain why we split up?"
"I dunno� no, not really. Just you had a big fight, and that you walked out�"
"That's true enough, as far as it goes. But that's not the whole story, Dawn." She turns to look at Dawn. "Thing is, I can't walk out on something that I wasn't ever a part of."
"Ok, here we go into the not making sense again. What do you mean? Of course you were part of �"
"Dawn, I loved being here. With you and your mom and Buffy? It was like� being with my family again, you know? Sure, there were fights and sometimes I swear the tension was like a wall around here. But there was love too, I could see that. The way you all fought so hard, because you loved each other. If you didn't, then I'd be worried. But you love each other, and dammit, that's how it should be, you know? And I wanted to be part of that so bad, I could taste it. But I never was part of it� not really."
"Well, that's stupid, of course you were�"
"Dawn, did your mom tell you how we met?"
"She said you were like� a guide at some museum in Boston�? And she went there�"
"The first time me and your mom met, she thought I was a loon, I think."
"Huh?"
"I was working at the museum, and they were short handed, so I had to cover an exhibit I didn't have lots of knowledge about. And your mom, well, she bailed my butt out. God� she was � it was like she was glowing, when she was up there, talking about some impressionist art. I swear, I knew from that very moment, that here was the woman for me!"
"Wow� really? My mom?" Dawn shakes her head, as if she couldn't believe it.
"Oh yeah, and I�ok, I admit, I guess I came off as some loony stalker or something, because I know on that first meeting I scared her silly or something. She ran like�" Faith chuckles. "Let's just say she ran away. I thought for sure she would never come to that museum again, and I'd never see her again�"
"But you did, right?" Dawn almost kicks herself. "Of course you did!"
"Yeah, she came back next day� to apologize! My god, and she even brought lunch! Ok, right then? I was totally hooked� and I've been totally hooked ever since."
"But why�?"
"Let me finish, ok?"
"Ok." Dawn seems to have gotten over her anger. She sits, leaning in a little and listening.
"Dawn, I knew from the first, your mom didn't love me as much as I loved her�"
"Faith, she�"

"Dawn, please, ok? I know she loves me, I know that. But � there are different levels of how you love someone. And�well, a lot was going on in her life. There was the gallery, and well, your dad and the divorce� and well, ok, the idea of loving another woman? I mean, like a lover? Not in her vocabulary at that time. And I admit, maybe I rushed her� but only because the more I saw her, the more I loved her� and then � well, you're father got into it, and frankly� I understood why she left me. Well�" Faith points at her head. "Up here, once I found out� because she never told me then why she was leaving� just that she was leaving� but here�" She points at her heart. "Never got it there."
"She told me. My dad� threatened to take away any custody of us�if she continued �" She looks at Faith for a moment. "Faith, when she came back with dad, I have to be honest. I was happy. I thought� they worked it out. I thought we'd be a family again�"
"Well, yeah," Faith smiles, "I get that."
"But, I didn't understand at the time. You see, when she came back, she really tried to be happy� but I could see something was wrong. She wasn't happy, Faith. I would catch her sometimes, when she thought no one was looking, and she� she was so sad. Like her heart had been cut out of her chest. She was very quiet� a lot more quiet than usual. And she worked a lot� she always was home for dinner, but most of her time she spent at the gallery. I didn't know what it was, but I knew something was wrong. Faith, she really did love you. She was miserable without you. I didn't get that then; but I get it now."
"I know. I � tried to deal with it, but I did a lot of things� after she left, because I couldn't deal. I didn't know why� not until a lot later, why� and I thought she � she told me she� didn't love me� and it �"
"Oh, Faith. That wasn't true�"

"I know� and when I found out the real reason, I came here. Because, I wanted� needed to be with her. I didn't care, Dawn. I was willing to do anything, to be part of her life."
"Then, why won't you fight for her now?"
"Because, I realize, even being here? I wasn't part of her life, Dawn. I lived here, and we� ok, I don't want to gross you out, but we did it, but � she couldn't see that it had to be more, for me. I had to be a part of this family, like you and Buffy. Not equal, not even a big share. Just a little something� so I felt I really belonged here. That this was really real for her. Because it was hugely real for me�"
"But you ARE part of this family�"
"Maybe. I know, when I'm here� I feel like I'm home. At least, with you, and even Buffy. But Dawn, she can't� hasn't seen that. She's� not comfortable with what we are. And I finally felt like she wasn�t ever going to be comfortable with it. Or accept it. And I can't live on the margins, Dawn. It's selfish, I know, but I have to be part� or�" She shrugs. Then she grabs Dawn's hand. "But that doesn't mean I care any less about you, or your sister. I love you both, like you're my sisters� and it's kinda nice having sisters after having 4 idiot brothers, believe me!" She looks Dawn in the eye. "I love you Dawn, and that's not changing, no matter what happens between your mom and me."
Dawn sits there for a moment, taking it in. Then she squeezes Faith's hand firmly.
"Then fight for me," Dawn says, softly. "For me and mom and Buffy. I love you too, Faith. Or at least, I want to. But I won't live in a bus station, everyone always coming and going as they please. If you love my mom, love me, then you gotta fight and fight until there just isn't anything left to fight� you gotta stick it out� or � I'm sorry," She drops Faith's hand. "I just won't do this anymore. I don't need a sometimes friend� I need you here. We need you here. Things have been� they've sucked since you left, and I won't believe you unless you start trying and quit whining about it!"
"Dawn, that's harsh!"
"No, you walking out? That was harsh! You don't know what affect you've had around here. When you were here, everyone was happy. Ok, maybe Buffy was bratty, but she's always like that � even she was happy, I know it. She really looks up to you, believe it or not. And mom� she's been sooo sad� and I'm� goddamn you! Can't you see you're needed here?"
Faith sits there, stunned by Dawn's vehemence. She doesn't know what to say.
"Do you need a big sign saying 'We need you here, Faith' ? Do you even care? Do you? Do you care that Buffy and I got suspended for fighting with each other? Do you care that Buffy got booted from the cheerleading squad? That now there's a rumor going around that she's gay, and making out with Willow? Did you even bother to know about that stuff? And you want weird? Buffy's acting so weird, I don't know if she's going to bite my head off or what from minute to minute. And she's sick a lot. What's that about? She's up to something, and it worries me and I can't DEAL with this because I don't know what to do and mom isn't even here most of the time to help, and I can't tell her because she's already on Buffy overload and � and� I'm tired of trying to be the mature one because NO ONE ELSE IS EVEN TRYING!!!"
Again, she's off the couch. She starts towards the stairs, then stops and comes back.
"It's real simple, Faith, if you wouldn't make it so complicated. We love you and need you, and if you can't see that, then you're pretty darn blind. Figure it out, and get with it, or just get out!"
She looks at Faith for a response, and not getting anything close to what she wants, make a frustrated noise and throws up her hands.
"God, if that's being adult, I don't want anything to do with it!"
Spinning on her heel, she bounds away and up the steps two at a time. A few moments later, a door is heard slamming upstairs.
Faith sits there for a moment. To say she's flabbergasted would be an understatement. She gets up, and walks across the living room towards the stairs. She stops at the bottom step, looking up.
What the hell just happened? Has everyone around here gone nuts?
Shaking her head, she walks up the steps.

* * *

Buffy stands by the window again, to restless to remain on her bed.
She stares out into the inky black night, her mood reflected by the darkness. There's no moon tonight, only the stars and the streetlights playing havoc, making the shadows longer, more threatening.
Her heart feels like a lump of ice in her chest; somehow she finds it hard to even breathe. Her face feels hot and flushed, and she sticks her head out the window, to catch some cooler night air. It feels close and hot in her room.

And suddenly, she's not there. She's back in L.A., seemingly forever ago, though really only a few years.
She was lying out in the sun in the backyard, catching some sun. Her body was slicked by suntan lotion, her eyes covered in designer shades. She smiled to herself, drowsing lazily in the sun.
She was wearing the bikini she'd spent her savings on; the one her daddy forbade her to wear. She liked wearing it however; liked how the boys looked at her when she wore it. Mostly, she had to hide the fact she wore it, covering it with other clothes when she went to the beach. But her daddy wasn't home today, and she could lay out in the sun and enjoy it.
He just doesn't get it. God, this is conservative compared to what some of the girls wear, Buffy thought, shifting a little on the chaise lounger. The way he acted, you'd think I was naked when he saw it�
She can't forget how, despite his anger and words, his eyes seemed glued to her body. How it made her feel� strange and squirmy. She made sure he never saw her wearing it again, but she couldn't forget how he looked at her.
There had been another fight between her mom and him not long after the bikini incident, and she heard them talking about her through the walls. She knew this fight was her fault; just like so many of them were. She didn't mean to be bad, but she knew she was. Weren't they always fighting about me?
She's startled when a shadow suddenly falls across her, like a cloud passing before the sun. She looked up to see her daddy standing over her, staring down at her. The way he looked at her made her feel like she should hide, but she couldn't hide, could she?
"Daddy?" She said, feeling suddenly like she wanted to cover up.

Suddenly she's back, shaking out of control as her skin is covered in gooseflesh. She grips the windowsill tightly, as if to keep from falling. She's hit by a sudden wave of vertigo. Her stomach rebels, threatening to bring back up dinner.
I'm ok, I'm ok� She holds on, taking deep breaths of the night air.
She almost jumps out of her skin when she hears a soft knock at the door.
"What?"

* * *

Faith can't help feeling a strong sense of guilt as she walks down the hallway.
Is she right? Have I just given up without a fight? Why can't this ever be easy, for Christ's sake?
She walks to the end of the hall, and taps on Dawn's door. There's no answer.
"Hey, c'mon, Dawn. I know you're in there. Talk to me."
Still no answer, so she knocks again.
"C'mon, I'm sorry, ok? Don't shut me out here, kiddo. Just talk to me!"
The door suddenly opens, and Dawn is standing there, frowning at her.
"I'm done talking, Faith. I'm outta things to say. I'm tired of trying to fix things. Just go away."
The door slams in her face. Faith stands there, feeling her temper rise.
Well, fuck me. Excuse me for breathing! I'm pretty tired of this crap too, ya know?
Faith turns, and starts down the hallway, pretty much determined to cut her losses and just go. She passes Buffy's doorway, then stops.
She stands for a moment, debating with herself, then moves closer to the door. She knocks lightly.
"What?" comes muffled through the door.
"Hey, Buffy� can I come in?"
There's a long silence. Faith is about ready to just leave when the door opens, and Buffy is standing at the door.
Oh, great. She looks pissed, and I didn't even DO anything yet!
"What're you doing here? I thought Mrs. Blankenship was supposed to be here. Though god knows why. I really don't need a babysitter." Buffy frowns at her.
"Ah yeah. Well, Mrs. Blankenship had to cancel at the last moment, and your mom asked me to drop by. So, here I am." Faith lies, shrugging. She's feeling suddenly uncomfortable under the younger woman's gaze.
"Well. Lucky us," Buffy says with an acidy tone. "So, what did you want, anyway? I'm here, warden. Didn't escape into the night or nothing."
"Can the 'tude, would you, Buffy?" Faith feels the Irish rising in her. "I just came up to see if you were ok. You weren't downstairs." She takes a closer look at Buffy, and frowns. "Are you ok?"
"God, why does everyone ask me that?"
"Well, frankly? You look like crap."

Buffy stands there for a moment, staring at her. Faith braces for the explosion.
Instead, a small smile plays on Buffy's lips.
"Yeah, I guess I do. Sorry, all crampy and shit, and getting some flu or something. Not feeling too great."
"Oh," Faith still feels a little irritated, despite the explanation. "Mind if I come in?" Without waiting for an invite, she walks into Buffy's room.
"Yeah, sure, come on in. Never mind about privacy or anything," Buffy says, turning after her, and closing the door. "So, what do I owe this visit to? Got bored burning down the campus or something?"
"Well, aint you the snarky one tonight," Faith says, picking up the MP3 player off the bed. "These things any good? Thinkin' about getting one."
"You came to ask me about iPods?" Buffy comes over, taking the player from Faith. "Why don't you ask the guys at the store? Oh yeah, you don't like guys, do you?"
"Look, girlfriend, I'm real sorry you're feeling crappy and crampy, but I can really do without the 'tude, ok? Think we can be civil, or is this going to be a nasty fest all night?"
"Sure, Faith," Buffy shrugs, walking over to her bed. She lays down on it, back against the headboard. "So, whatcha wanna talk about? Boys? Oh, and then maybe we can do each other's hair, and have a pillow fight after? Sounds like a hoot."
God, why am I here again? Forget this, I really don't need this!
"Forget it, Buffy. Be snarky. Don't know what your problem with me is, and I don't need to find out. Seeya�"
Faith walks towards the door.
"Wait!" Buffy's tone has changed. It's small and a little lost, and a lot softer. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm being bitchy, ok? I� it's good to see you, ok?" She gets up, and goes over to Faith, who's halted at the door. "Don't go, ok?"
Faith sees the pleading look in her eyes, and relents.
"Ok, guess I'm just tired of getting my head bit off around here."
She walks over to the window and looks out. Turning back, she sees Buffy is back on her bed, staring at her. She walks over, and sits on the edge of the bed.
"So, wanna tell me what's really going on around here?"
Buffy for a moment, looks startled. Does she know? Is she toying with me? "What do you mean?" Buffy bluffs, not wanting to give anything away.
"Just that, according to your sister, you're acting weird. Weirder than normal, anyway."
"Oh c'mon, consider the source. Dawn is such a tight ass, sometimes. If anyone's acting weird, it's her. All nervy and edgy lately."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. Want my opinion?"
"Go for it," Faith says, almost immediately regretting the words.
"Well, I just think she's got a big old crush on you, and she's all pissy because you're not around no more."
"Oh yeah? Gimme a break, ok?" Faith makes a rude noise.
"Oh, c'mon. Don't even tell me you didn't notice that the squirt practically worships the ground you walk on. My god, if you told her to kiss your ass, she'd ask where."
"I really think that's beyond enough, Buff." Faith frowns.
"Hey, just calling it like I see it."
"I think what you're doing is evading the question, " Faith leans over, patting her leg. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing!"
"That a fact? Weird, cuz, according to Dawn, you picked a fight with her�"
"That's so a lie! She picked a fight with me!"
"Uh-huh�and you both got suspended�"
"Oh dear, I missed three days of school! A tragedy!"
Faith chuckles. Then sobers up.
"Yeah, well, I also hear you got kicked from the cheerleading squad�"
"So? Cordelia's a total bitch. Like that's news?" Buffy shrugs. "Anyway, who wants to be a cheerleader? Whose ambition in life is to spell out words with your arms and wave pom- poms?"
"Hey, preaching to the choir here. But I thought you wanted it?"
"Yeah, well, who ever gets everything they want, huh?"
"And then there's the matter of you and Willow�"
"WHAT? She told you about THAT?!!!" Buffy swings her legs off the bed, getting up. " That little creep. I'm gonna murder her. That's such a lie, and she knows it!"
"Hey, hey!" Faith is up, and blocking her way. "Cool down. She's just worried. I don't think she actually believes it."
"Still, she didn't need to say it. Get this straight. Not a lesbo here, and really not interested." Then she realizes her mistake. "Sorry, nothing personal."
"It's all right. I mean, think that's the first time I've heard that said to me?" Faith grins.
Buffy, despite herself, giggles. "Sorry, didn't mean there was anything wrong with being a lesbian. Willow's a lesbian, you know. She's my friend�"
"Yeah, I get it. You just wouldn't want your sister marrying one, right?" Faith deadpans.
Buffy looks at her, and bursts out laughing. "You're nuts!"
"You just getting that, Blondie? Wow, I guess blondes are dumb, huh?"
"Hey!"
"Kidding, chill out, ok?" She cocks her head, looking Buffy straight in the eye. "So, what're you hiding?"
Buffy feels as if Faith is looking directly into her soul, and she feels a deep down shiver. She turns away, flopping herself back on the bed.
"Nothing. I'm not hiding anything�"
"Yeah? So how come you're acting all secretive and stuff? And what's the deal with being sick all the time�?"

"I'm not sick all the time. Told you, I'm crampy and I think I got the flu or something�"
"Buffy out with it," Faith comes over, cornering her. "Are you like doing drugs?"
Buffy stares at her for a moment.
"I mean, that's major, you know? And total crap. So if you're using�"
Buffy laughs, curling up into a ball and grabbing her stomach.
"Drugs? You think I'm doing drugs? Are you like, insane?"
"Hey, you've been acting all moody and withdrawn and strange since I've known you, Blondie. I mean, I've known guys who've been hooked, and you're scary like them. So, fess up, you using?"
"Are you crazy? Druggies are total losers!" She sees Faith isn't buying that, "I promise! I'm so not using drugs! God, how WRONG can you get?" Buffy can't help letting off some more laughter. It's been a very long time.
"Buffy, what is it? Something bothering you, I can tell. Dawn's worried about you, and I know your mom is, too�"
Buffy gives her a strange look. "Oh come on! Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Dawn could care less about me, and mom? I think she'd be happy if she woke up one day I was gone�"
"Buffy! That's totally wrong. They love you. They care about you. How can you even think crap like that�?"
"How? Gee, I don't know, " Buffy goes into sarcasm mode. "Oh yeah. Mom pulls us up and drags us to Sunnyhell, away from my friends and �"
"Yeah, and I understand that you used to get in trouble a lot with your friends�"
"That's bullshit. I mean, ok, maybe sometimes, but I wasn't like Juvey material or nothing. Nothing worth having my life ruined�"
"Get real. You're life hasn't been ruined�"
"That so? How about, I come here, no friends, nothing. I have to start all over again in my senior year of high school, the one you're supposed to coast through. Oh and I gotta kiss ass to some rich bitch cuz she's got a lock on the social standings at school. That was MY job before I came to this place�oh, and almost getting raped by that same bitch? Think I'm loving that? Think I'm so stupid I don't know that? Yeah, I know what she was gonna do� now� but I really thought�" Buffy's lip starts to tremble. "Now, that bitch has got it in for me for some reason. She booted me off the cheerleading squad. That rumor? The one about me and Willow? Guess who started it? Oh yeah� cuz I blabbed I heard her and Willow getting hot and heavy in the girls room� She went ballistic, and now no one'll talk to me cuz they're afraid of her. Except Willow� and Oz�"
"Oz?"
"He's a guy. Willow's friend." Buffy shrugs. "He's kinda nice."
"Nice, huh?" Faith catches that note in Buffy's voice. "You like him, huh?"
"WHAT?? No, I hardly know him. He's Willow's friend, I told you," Buffy can't quite keep from blushing.
"Oh right," Faith nods, deciding not to press it.
"But, now I'm like a total leper at school and I hate it, I really hate it and I wish � I just know that everyone would be better off if I disappeared and I hate it�" Buffy shrinks in on herself, wanting desperately to hide.
"Hey, hey," Faith gathers her in her arms, hugging her. "It's ok, ok? I know� believe me, I know how it feels."
"How? I mean, you're not like me. You don't need �" She trails off, just clinging to Faith.
"Buffy, when I came out, I was going to an all girl Catholic High school. Wanna know how that was? My last year there, no one would talk to me! I swear, even my 'bestest' friend avoided me like I was diseased. The sisters� now there's a bunch of cruel bitches if ever I met some. They made sure I never forgot what a 'sinner' I was, and that I was going straight to hell, no stop offs in purgatory for me, no sirreee. And they made sure if they even thought I was guilty of something, I was punished� really severely. Believe me, NO one was happier to get outta high school than me�"
"I� I didn't know�I'm sorry�" Buffy hugs her tighter. "I'm so ashamed of myself�"
"What?"
"I've been a real bitch� to you and Willow and� I � such a creep sometimes� I can't believe I said some of the things I said�"
"Hey, hey, it's ok. We all say stupid stuff�"
"I'm really sorry�" She pulls away from Faith, looking into her eyes. "Can you forgive me? Please? And come back too? I mean, I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you. You're �I just wish you were here� I feel so alone sometimes� please, come back, Ok? I know you left because I �"
"Buffy? Hold up," Faith brushes some stray hair out of Buffy's eyes. "Look, you gotta know this. I didn't leave because of you. It wasn't your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself, ok? It had nothing to do with you."
"Then why? Why'd you leave? We need you here, Faith. I mean, everything� everyone was better when you were here. I know Dawn misses you all the time, and me too� and mom, I mean, mom really was happier when you were around. Please, can't you just move back in? You don't have to live in the basement. You can have my room. I'll live in the basement. Please?"
Faith can't help being touched by Buffy's appeal. She knows Buffy's hiding something, and she knows if she's here, she might get her to talk about it. But even more, she feels empathy with Buffy. She knows what it's like to be the outsider. Even more than Dawn, she knows Buffy really does need her.
So, saying these words hurt even more this time.
"Buffy, it's not that simple. I just can't move back in� I'm sorry�"
"Why, I don't understand. Why can't you? Is it me? I�I know I've treated you like crap, but I'll change, I will! I'll be better, just give me another chance�"
Faith sighs. She just can't let Buffy do this to herself.
"Buffy�if I tell you something, something personal, will you promise not to tell anyone? I need your promise� but I can prove that it has nothing to do with you, ok?"
"Sure, I promise!"
"Not even your mom, Buffy. Especially not your mom!"
"Ok," Buffy sounds uncertain. "What did you do?"
"It's not like that, Buffy. Just�for now, I don't want her to know you know�ok?"
"She knows?"
"Yeah, but� " She takes Buffy's hand. "Do you promise? You swear?"
"Yes, I do, I promise!"
"You won't hate me?"
"Faith, what is it? Who did you kill?" Her eyes go wide. "Did you kill somebody?"
"NO!" Faith almost laughs. "I just� hope you won't hate me�"
"Faith, just tell me. I won't hate you!" She squeezes Faith's hand. "Promise!"
"Ok�"
Faith, as gently as possible, tells Buffy about her and Joyce. She couches it in softer terms, and rewrites some history to keep her Dad's role in things out of it, but she lays it out, from beginning to when she left.
"�I know this is a shock, Buffy. I know right now you're probably angry with me and your mom. Don't be angry with her, just me, ok? She wasn't looking for it to happen, and I really pressed hard. And�I understand if you've changed how you feel about me�"
Faith withdraws her hand, gripping the bed, waiting for Buffy to lose it. Just take it, we should've been honest from the start�
Instead, Buffy just sits there, looking surprised, but not going nuclear.
"Did� do you love her?" Buffy asks, quietly.
"Very much, Buffy."
Buffy sits there, still quiet. Faith feels a queasiness in her stomach; this reaction is almost worse than a screaming match. Her nerves feel like they're ready to break.
"Say something, Buffy," Faith finally cracks, "anything."
Buffy looks at her, expression still neutral.
"Why did you walk out, then?"
"Buffy, it wasn't exactly like that. I didn't really want to go, just that� she couldn't make me part of her life. I couldn't be real to her. Because she was afraid she'd lose you� and Dawn. And even more, I think she's having a real hard time accepting she loves another woman. It's not easy for her, but �I can't live where I'm not real, you know? I love you and Dawn� strictly platonic, don't get weird� and I miss you guys, cuz you're like family to me. But on the other hand, I'm not family here� and I really need to be. Can you see that?"
"It kinda makes things make sense now, you know?" Buffy seems calm, eerily calm. "She was so happy when you were here� I just didn't connect the dots. Duh." She turns her gaze on Faith. "She really misses you, Faith. A lot. She's not happy, and I really think, she wants you back. I don't know about the other, but you gotta work it out. She needs you, I think�" Buffy shakes her head. "I just wish you guys trusted me before�I wouldn't� I really like you, and I can get why mom does, too� "
"So, you're ok with this?" Faith asks, warily.
"Kinda. Look, not gonna lie to you, Faith. I wish my mom and dad never split up, and I wish they�"She stops, as if touching something unpleasant,"�I wish they were together again. I want my family, my real family back�" She looks at Faith, and her eyes and expression are soft. "But I guess you get that better than anyone, huh? That's not gonna happen�so I guess, if you make mom happy, I just gotta deal� and I will� I promise. And I love you too� I mean, platonically and all�"
Score one for you, Blondie. You totally knocked me back on my butt!
"So you get it now? Not your fault I moved."
Buffy nods, seeming to draw back into herself. Then she looks up.
"Faith? Don't do this anymore, ok? I mean, stay away. Mom needs you here, really she does. She� loves you. Stop hurting her� and you, ok?"
"I'll� we'll try. Somehow, we'll figure it out. I promise, Buffy." Faith gets up. "So, you ok now, babe?"
Buffy's calm veneer seems to crack. Her eyes fill up and her lip starts to tremble.
"I'm so not ok�" She chokes back a sob. "If I tell you something, promise me you won't tell� anyone! Please, please!"
"Ok, Buffy, I promise," Faith knows she's going to regret this, but it's the only way she can get Buffy to talk. "I won't tell anyone."
"Even mom?"
Faith hesitates.
"Please, Faith!" A tear rolls down Buffy's cheek. "I need to talk to someone, but I need � you to promise. Not even mom."
"All right Buffy. I promise. Not even your mom."
"I'm so screwed, Faith! I'm in so much trouble, and I don't know what to do!"
"Buffy, what is it? Tell me."
"I'm pregnant, Faith!"
Aw, shit!

6

"� so, anyway, I tracked these guys down to a dive in East London. Now, I don't know if you know London, but the east side can be pretty rough. So my mates, they weren't too anxious to go down there, even to get their money back. But I wasn't about to allow those criminals get away with it. They bloody well cheated us at cards, and you can't just tolerate that. "
"Anyway, I'm heading down what must be the worst street in London� and I see the dive at the end of the cul-de-sac. I'm just approaching it as�"
He glances over at Joyce and notices she doesn't seem to be paying attention.
"� as this pink elephant in a lavender tutu approaches me, with a parrot on her shoulder. Now, normally I'm a gentleman, but I was on a mission. But she wouldn't let me pass. She kept asking the way to Charing Cross station, all the while the parrot is screaming , "Another drink, Mac? Another drink, Mac?"�"
Joyce looks up, confused. "Pink elephant? Parrot?" Then she blushes. "Oh god, I did it again, didn�t I?"
"I'm afraid so, Joyce. Sorry, these stories can get long winded�"
"No, it's not that. I like your stories. They're very�colorful." She giggles.
Rupert smile, and reaches over, patting her hand.
"Is something wrong? You've been rather not here all evening."
"I know, and it's been very unfair to you� I guess I'm kind of worried about my daughter� Buffy," Joyce tells a white lie. "� she's been kind of ill�"
"Oh, really? That's a shame," Giles' brow furrowed. "You should've mentioned that sooner."
"I know, but she seemed ok when I left, and I was looking forward to our date."
Giles sighs a little. "Maybe it was a little too soon."
"I'm sorry?"
"This date," Giles smiles quietly. "I mean, you're in the middle of a divorce, and while there might be no hope for the marriage, it might still be a little soon to � well, you can't just stop feeling something for someone you've been with for a long time�"
"Oh, no! I promise, whatever Hank and I had, was over long ago. Just� I guess maybe you're right in a way. I mean, this divorce is distracting, and I'm having some custody issues with Hank� and that worries me� probably why I can't keep my mind on things� sorry."
"It's perfectly understandable Joyce," Giles says. He signals for the waiter. "Maybe it's best we wait, until this nasty business of yours is over to � well, date."
"To be fair to you? I think that might be best."
"Well, I certainly wished things had gone differently tonight� but maybe that little incident at the car should've told me things wouldn't go well�"
Joyce blushes again.
"Faith� yes, I really don't understand what came over here. She normally doesn't act like that�"
"How do you know her?" Giles seems puzzled.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, she seems somewhat younger than you� not a contemporary. I wondered how you were acquainted?"
"Oh� she's a friend of the family. I mean, her family and my family are close. And Faith� she drops by a lot."
"I see."
"Again, I'm sorry how she acted�"
"No, no, don't be. Actually, it was quite charming in a way."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, it's easy to tell she cares about you� she pretty much warned me to be on my best behavior tonight. Or she would � how did she say it again? � oh yes, something about frying my ass?" Giles chuckles.
"Oh my god," Joyce looks pained. "Mr. � Rupert, please, believe me. Faith might talk rough sometimes, but she'd never�"

"Oh, I didn't really fear for my derriere. I just thought it was rather touching she cared enough to warn me off. Almost like a mother hen and her chick, you know?"
"Yes," Joyce makes a face. "Sometimes, between my daughters and Faith, I wonder who actually is the mother at my house."
Both chuckle at that.
"I'm so sorry about tonight�"
"Don't, please. I rarely get to spend time with a beautiful, intelligent woman these days. I'm just sorry about my interminable stories. I really have to learn to edit them down."
"Don't be silly. They were �wonderful," Joyce smiles politely.
"Anyway, let's get you safe to home. And when you're really ready to date, you'll call me, I hope?"
"Of course. I couldn't think of anyone nicer to be with."
A waiter comes to the table, looking concerned.
"Is everything ok, sir? Is there anything I can get you?"
"No, thank you. We're ready to leave. I'd like the bill, please."
"Of course sir�"
"Oh, there is one thing. Could you have the valet bring around my car?" Giles hands the waiter his check. "I'd certainly appreciate it."
"Of course sir. It'll be waiting for you out front." Taking the check, the waiter disappears into the back.
Joyce and Rupert chat about inconsequential things for a few more minutes, until the bill comes. Giles pulls out his wallet, and hands the waiter an American Express Black card. He signs the bill, and adds a generous tip.
"Thank you sir, very much." The waiter hands back his card, and leaves.
"So, shall we then?" Giles stands, offering his hand to Joyce.
"I'm so sorry about tonight. I promise, next time will be better."
"Don't worry, Joyce. I understand, absolutely. "
Slipping her arm through his, they leave the table.

7

Joyce raises her hand at the door, waving goodbye as Rupert Giles pulled away from the curb. Closing the door, she turns into the house, sighing.
"Well, that was� exhausting," she murmurs to herself.
She's had worse dates. It's just been so long, that she can't put it into perspective. Sighing, she walks into the living room.
All she found is one small lamp on. Otherwise the room is empty.
"Well, guess everyone's asleep," She says to herself, plopping down on the couch. "Just as well. Not sure I was up for 'how was the date?' game tonight."
Still, she feels a little disappointed. Despite the scene earlier, she was hoping that Faith might still be here. Cut out early, I bet. Oh well�
She leans back, closing her eyes. Right now she needs a rest before she negotiates the stairs up to her cold, lonely bedroom.
Yeah, and who's fault is that? You drove her away, didn't you? She chides herself, feeling sorry for herself. Maybe if you took her a little more seriously, paid more attention�
She sits up, hearing a step on the stair. Getting up, she puts a smile on her face. Really don't need the "I told you so" looks from the girls.
"Buffy? Is that you?" She pauses, then continues. "Dawn?"
She walks into the foyer and stops dead. Standing on the steps, looking down, is Faith.
"Hey," Faith continues down the stairs. "They're asleep now. Might wanna keep it down."
"Faith� hi," Joyce's smile fades just a touch. "I didn't expect you. I thought you'd be �"
"Gone? No, I said I'd stay, and I did�" Faith walks over, and opening the closet, reaches in for her coat. "Guess I should be going now."
Now or never, Joyce! Now or never!
"Faith, do you have to? I was hoping we could talk�"
Faith looks at her while shrugging on her coat. Her face softens, and she moves a step towards Joyce.
"I really don't see the need for talking, Joyce�"
"Please, Faith. Just give me a chance, ok? I'm only asking 5 minutes�"
"Joyce, I just�"
"Please, just hear me out. You don�t even need to take off your coat."
"But, Joyce�"
"No, for once, just hear me out, Ok, Faith? Then you can go if you gotta go, ok?"
Faith just shrugs, and doesn't move another inch.
"Ok then�" Joyce wrings her hands, and starts to pace in the confined area of the foyer. "Look, I'm an idiot. I admit it. All night long, when I was with Mr. Giles, all I could think about was you. Wishing you was there, and we were together, really together. After what happened out by his car, I realized that I wanted�, no needed you around, in my life. Rupert told me what you did�"
"He wasn't supposed to do that�"
"Faith, please! IT was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Ever. You felt you couldn't be with me, but you wanted to be sure that I was ok, that I would be ok. How sweet is that? Ok, I know I've been stupid, but don't you think you could find it to forgive me? I really, really want you to be in my life, all the time, full time. No exceptions, no hiding. I want� I'm so proud of you, I want everyone to know you're with me, and if you'll�.MMMPPHHH!!!"
Joyce doesn't get to finish. Faith comes over, pulls her into her arms, and kisses her deeply.
When the kiss breaks, Joyce stands staring at Faith, confused.
"Why did you do that?"
"Sometimes, Joyce? You talk way too much."
"But�mmmmmm"
Before Joyce can get started again, Faith shuts her up with another warm kiss.

To be continued.
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