ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES

CHAPTER 209 - MISSING
DECEMBER 28, 2009
SUNDAY
GREENWICH
9:45AM

There was no reasoning with William.

For the past half-hour, ever since he'd returned to the study and unsuspectingly found Buffy missing, they'd been over the flat with a fine-toothed comb. The fact that their search was to no avail didn’t deter him. Like someone who keeps checking the same places for something they’ve lost, hoping against all odds, that if they only look hard enough just one more time, that it will just reappear by the sheer force of their will, he continued to look.

"Just stop, will you?” Giles said, grabbing William’s arm as he once more headed for the stairs. “There's no point in your looking up there again."

Disregarding him, William forcibly shook off the watcher's arm and dodged around him.

Nothing made any sense to him. Willow and Giles had assured him that as far as they knew, The First had not appeared to Elizabeth at the same time it was appearing to him, since they were also with her in the study. By the time he’d left her alone with Willow in the study, the protection spell was already in place. More importantly, he knew with absolute clarity that Elizabeth would never run away from danger which begged the question: if not that, then what?

“She’s not here!” William called a few moments later, the frustration and anguish in his voice carrying from the third floor.

“I know,” Giles said softly to himself. He glanced over at Willow, sitting forlornly on the bottom step with her head resting on her knees.

"This isn't your fault, you know."

Willow raised her head to look up at him. "Isn't it?"

“No. You did the best you could with the information you had.”

“I should’ve known better. I did know better.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not a newbie, Giles. I know translations can’t always be trusted, especially considering I got it from Wolfram & Hart. I should’ve looked for the original. Why didn’t I look into it further?”

“From what you told me things were…”Giles stopped as William came hurrying past them. He continued down the hall to check the main floor rooms one more time before finally coming to a stop in front of Willow.

“When did you leave Elizabeth to go upstairs?”

“I already told you. Twice,” she said, hugging her legs closer.

“Well, tell me again!”

“Please! Try to get a hold of yourself. Shouting at Willow because you’re frustrated isn’t going to get Buffy back any sooner.”

William took a deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry, Willow.”

“That’s okay, William. I understand, but like I told you when I first heard you calling for Buffy, I’d only been upstairs for maybe three minutes. I know that because I had to find something on my computer for Kennedy. From the time I booted it up to the time I had found the file, that’s about how long it took me.”

“And Elizabeth never spoke to you while you were with her in the study? Think, Willow, please. Anything at all that might be a clue; might give us some idea…”

Willow shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry. I talked to her, but she didn’t say anything back at all. She just sat there and…wait. No, never mind.”

“What is it? Please, it could be important.”

“It’s just when I walked back into the study after you asked me to stay with her, Buffy was mumbling something, but I didn’t catch it and she didn’t repeat it.”

William furrowed his brow, remembering when she had done the same with him earlier.

“You said you talked to her, though?” Giles asked.

Willow let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, once more. I talked. Buffy didn’t. I apologized again. She listened. At least I assume that’s what she was doing. It was sort of hard to tell when I wasn’t getting any damn response at all from her. That’s it; that’s all of it, okay?”

“Apologized? For what?” William asked.

“For what?” Willow stammered, realizing her mistake too late. She took a quick glance at Giles, who imperceptibly shook his head.

“Just about the whole predicament you’re in; that we’re all in,” Willow hastened to explain, as she squirmed under William’s scrutiny. “You know, about The First and…everything.”

“You’re lying!”

“William!”

“No, Giles. She’s lying and you…you’re covering for her!”

“It’s not like that at all. While it’s true you don’t have all the facts, it’s not true that we’re intentionally lying to you.”

It didn’t surprise him when the watcher once again tried to placate him.

What did surprise him was the sudden and almost uncontrollable urge to hit something that surged through him.

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.” William warned, his voice low and threatening.

Giles shut up and Willow sat up straight, alarmed.

Jaw clenched so tight he could hear his teeth scraping against themselves, William paced from the stairs to the door and back again, only pausing momentarily to gently touch Elizabeth’s coat, which still hung on the hook. Finally he stopped and faced them.

“I knew something was wrong with Elizabeth when she was in the hall after I saw my mother and my bro…after I saw The First in the bathroom. She wasn’t acting herself,” William said, turning to Giles. “I told you that when Willow was upstairs! I told you I was worried.”

“I know, and please believe me when I tell you that I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, but that the timing was bad. Willow just came back and…”

“Bollocks! I don’t give a damn about your bloody timing! If something upset Elizabeth, I had every right to be immediately apprised of it!”

“And nobody is saying that you don’t!” Giles forced himself to not to add, that if it hadn’t been for Buffy coming to England a few days ago, he certainly wouldn’t have been apprised of anything that was happening with her from six thousand miles away.

"Then I suggest you tell me exactly what upset her so badly that she would take off, knowing that this is the only place that she's safe from The First right now. What did you say to her?”

Giles and Willow stole a glance at each other.

"Tell me now, goddamnit!" William yelled.

Willow stood up. “I’ll tell you.”

Giles put his hand on Willow’s arm. “We both will. I promise you. However, I think right now that calling the slayers, and organizing a search party to find Buffy should be our first priority. Wouldn’t you agree?”

The muscles in his jaw ticked in barely contained anger, as he looked from Giles to Willow then back again. He didn’t want to believe that these two people, who were supposed to be Elizabeth’s closest and most trusted friends, would have done or said something so distressing that it had caused her to leave. However, their evasiveness and guilty looks left little room for doubt that it was so. Whatever was said, she was now out there, alone and vulnerable to The First.

”You’re right. It can wait, but this isn’t over," William said tersely. Before they could say anything else, he turned and sprinted up the stairs.

"What's he doing, Giles?"

"I have no idea."

In nearly the time it took them to voice this William was back downstairs --his coat slung over his arm and mobile in hand, making his intentions clear.

“Where are you going to look for her?” Giles asked.

“Everywhere.”

“Everywhere is a big place. Why don’t you at least wait until Willow tries to find her with a locator spell? That will…”

“Giles, I can’t,” Willow said forlornly. “Not right now. I used up all my magic when I did the protection spell.”

“Doesn’t matter,” William said curtly. He walked to the door and pulled it open. The icy air hit him in the face and reminded him that The First wasn’t the only peril. He turned back to look at them. “I’ll find her. I have to…she doesn’t even have her coat.”

~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY
11:45AM
HAMPSTEAD

“Are you ladies ready yet? Services start in fifteen minutes,” Robert said, pushing his chair back from the table.

“I think so. Alyson, be a sweetie for me and go upstairs to see if Grandma Beatrice is ready,” Amanda said, as she set the breakfast dishes in the sink and took a last swallow of her coffee before pouring out the rest.

“Okay, mum,” Alyson said, nearly knocking the chair over as she jumped up from her seat.

“And don’t run. Your shoes are still slippery.”

“I won’t!”

The sound of little feet clomping up the stairs told her otherwise.
“Sort of like telling her not to breathe, don’t you think?” Robert said, with a lopsided grin.

Amanda couldn’t help but grin back, even as she threw a dishtowel at him.

“I’ll go get the car and meet you lot out front then,” he said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing the jacket of his suit off of the chair and heading to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

William wasn’t sure where he was going to look for Elizabeth after leaving Giles’. His instincts told him to first check the places that she had some familiarity with; so that’s what he did, starting with Greenwich Park. Not finding her there, or at the outdoor market where they’d done their last minute Christmas shopping, he went over to St. Sebastian’s.

Reverend Handley was in the middle of delivering a sermon when William unceremoniously barged through the doors. He heard the vicar momentarily stop reading, as all eyes turned towards the back of the chapel. However, embarrassment wasn’t a luxury William could afford today. Ignoring the looks of curiosity, he quickly walked up the main aisle and carefully scanned each row before leaving.

His next destination was Westminster Abbey. Discovering he didn’t have enough money to hire a cab to take him there he realized he had two options: go back to Giles’ flat or take the train. He chose the latter and felt that fortune had favored him when, even on a Sunday's schedule, he didn't have to wait but a few minutes for a train to come along. Unfortunately, the speed at which he got there didn't make any difference. Elizabeth wasn't there either.

Another train and two buses later, William was once more heading home to Hampstead, or rather, what used to be home. Panting hard from sprinting all the way from the last stop, and fervently hoping he'd find her inside, he hurried up the walk. As he stood there just about to knock, the door unexpectedly opened.

Robert stepped back, a look of surprise crossing his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” William stammered.

“Who are you talking to?” Amanda called from the kitchen.

William shifted uncomfortably under Robert’s not-quite-polite, inquisitive gaze.

“It’s your long lost relative come to call again,” he said, his eyes never leaving the other man’s face.

“William? Well, what are you doing letting the poor man stand outside in the cold?” Amanda said as she came into view and pushed the door open wide.

“Come in.”

“No, that’s isn’t necessary. I can see you’re on your way out,”

“Don’t be silly. You’re here now, aren’t you?”

William hesitated before crossing the threshold. If the looks of surprise on both Robert and Amanda’s faces at seeing him were any indication, then he already knew that coming here had also been in vain. However, leaving was not quite as simple as turning and walking away, especially since it was he who had initiated this familial contact that he now found himself facing.

Amanda smiled at him encouragingly. “Please, come in,”

Once inside, she insisted on taking his coat and offered him a warm drink. He declined.

“I won’t be but a moment,” William said, surreptitiously looking around to see if by some small wonder, he’d see Elizabeth here after all.

"I just…” he stopped as he heard a commotion on the staircase. All eyes turned towards Beatrice, whom upon seeing William, had faltered.

“Grandmother!” Amanda said, rushing to stairs.

“I’m okay, dear.” Beatrice said, quickly recovering her equilibrium. She continued ascending the staircase, one hand tightly gripping the shiny oak banister, the other holding onto Alyson’s for support, all the while staring at their guest. Amanda took over as they reached the bottom.

“Look, Grandma,” she said, as she guided her towards the door. “It’s William come to call again.”

Beatrice nodded, her eyes never leaving his face.

William shifted on the balls of his feet under her scrutiny.

“The reason I came,” he said, clearing his throat, “was to ask if, by some chance, you’d seen Elizabeth today.”

The silence seemed palatable as they all looked at each other, before Amanda finally spoke. “No, we haven’t seen her since she was here with you yesterday.”

Yesterday.

Had it only been yesterday? It seemed like a lifetime ago with all that had happened.

“Has something happened to your young lady?” Beatrice asked.

“No. I mean, I don’t think so. It’s just that she left the flat this morning without telling anybody. That’s quite unlike her.”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“Robert!” Amanda scolded.

“It’s a fair question,” Robert insisted. “Well, did you?”

William took a deep breath as scenes from his and Elizabeth’s joint nightmare came flooding back. Suppressing a shudder, he shook his head.

“Then maybe she just went out for a walk. I imagine she does that from time to time, right?”

“Yes, of course. It’s just that we were all up early this morning in Giles’ study…”

“You mean there at your friend’s flat; the one you and Elizabeth are staying with?” Robert asked.

“Yes, and then she was just gone.”

“She didn’t say anything or leave you a note?” Amanda asked.

William shook his head.

“I see.”

Robert looked from Amanda to William. “I’m not sure that I do. I don’t mean to be rude, but why did you think that she might be here?”

William couldn’t help but notice as Amanda shot Robert a glare that left no doubt that she did consider his question rude.

“No, it’s alright. To answer your question, I didn’t, really. It’s just she doesn’t know anybody else in London, and I just thought…maybe she’d come here. She wasn’t at the other places I’ve already been to look for her since I left…”

Amanda put her hand on William’s arm sympathetically. “I’m sure Elizabeth is fine. She’s probably already back and wondering where you’ve gone off to.”

He wished he could believe that, but his gut told him differently. That, plus he’d called Giles (yet again) while on the bus, and she still hadn’t been seen nor heard from.

“Maybe she’s hiding.”

They all turned to regard the youngest member of the group. “You mean like in Hide-n-Seek?” Robert asked.

Alyson’s light brown curls shook side to side. “No, so the monsters don’t find her,” she said solemnly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a smile borne of years of patience, Reverend Handley shook hands with the last of the parishioners at the door of St. Sebastian’s. He politely waited until he saw them safely ensconced in their car, then hurried back inside to his office. He’d had enough trouble keeping focused on the remainder of the sermon once he’d seen William, in such a state, come rushing into the chapel, only to leave before he could talk to him. After services had ended, he’d hoped that he might find him outside, but it wasn’t to be.

In the past, the vicar had felt that to bear the knowledge that demons actually did exist in the world was a curse. Accordingly, the forbearing had often been accompanied by prayers to God for enlightenment that only seemed to go unanswered, followed by longing for his days of innocence.

That was then.

Now he saw his knowledge as a mixed blessing, the yin and yang of the divine. For surely, without having stumbled into that small membership of those who knew of such things, he would have never been privy to learn of the miracle bestowed on William Worthington. Make no mistake about it; it could be construed as nothing less than that.

Flipping through his old-fashioned Rolodex, the vicar found Rupert Giles number and picked up his phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Amanda’s insistence, William allowed them to drive him to Highgate Village, even though it would only make them later for church than his unexpected visit already had. Alyson rode in the front between her parents, while William sat in the back next to Beatrice.

If William had thought Beatrice reminding him of his mother had been unbearable yesterday, in comparison, that had been a cakewalk. The horrifying depiction The First had shown him of his mother, now made being in her presence an excruciating reminder.

Anxiously, he watched out the car’s window for the moment the first streets of the village came into view, where he would ask to be let off.

“Robert, would you mind stopping at Morrison’s?” Beatrice asked, as they neared the intersection of the large grocery chain. “I’d like to have you run in and get us a half-dozen or so of those raspberry tarts for our dessert for later.”

“I don’t mind,” Robert said, as he hesitantly slowed the car. It was an odd request for the old woman to make. He glanced at his wife to see if she had a clue, while discreetly motioning towards their backseat passenger.

“Why don’t we just stop afterwards, Gram? If we stop now we’ll be late for church.”

“We’re already late,” Beatrice said, with an uncharacteristic nonchalance. “Besides, you know very well that by then the tarts will be gone. That is, if William here doesn’t mind indulging an old woman and her penchant for pastries another few minutes or so.”

“Of course not,” William answered, in what he hoped was a convincingly neutral tone. His inner voice was anything but; it swore and railed in frustration at the further delay.

“I might as well go in with Robert and pick up some milk while we’re here. She turned around and gave William a sympathetic look. “We’ll be right back and you’ll be on your way.”

“What about me?” Alyson asked.

“You go and help your mummy and daddy,” Beatrice said. She reached into her purse and pulled out a coin and gave it to Alyson. “That’s for those lollys you like so much.”

Alyson let out an excited sound as she undid her seatbelt and hurried to get out of the car with her parents. Amanda grinned and shook her head at Beatrice, before grabbing her daughter’s hand before she ran off between the cars.

“Be back in a few minutes,” Amanda said, closing the car’s door and leaving her grandmother and distant cousin alone in the backseat.
The minutes ticked by in uncomfortable silence. It wasn’t just from the awkward silence that one might expect from two people who didn’t know each other well; rather this silence felt disturbed and rife with something struggling to bubble to the surface. Not surprisingly, William startled when Beatrice suddenly grabbed hold of his hand, just as he was trying to discreetly look at the pocket watch Elizabeth had given him last Christmas.

"I never dream anymore,” Beatrice said, her voice wistful. “Or if I do, I don't recall them. Strangely, last night, for the first time in ages, I did. Although, calling what I had a dream is quite the misnomer. I had a nightmare, and a most horrid one at that. You were in it.”

William paled. "I'm sorry. I think perhaps I should go," he said, reaching for the door handle with his free hand while trying to pull his other out of her grasp, but she held fast.

“Nonsense, young man. You’re not responsible for my nightmare, but I am compelled to tell you about it, which is the real reason I orchestrated this stop here. When I saw you today I knew that it was a sign, and that I was meant to give you a message.”

William’s mouth was suddenly dry. He swallowed hard, summoning up his courage.

“What message?”

Beatrice responded to the involuntary trembling in William’s hand; squeezing it harder than he thought a woman of her age was capable of doing.

“One of forgiveness.”

~~~~~~~~~

Giles heart rate suddenly sped up, readying itself for fight or flight, at the feeling of an unnerving vibration. Then he realized the cause.

“Blast it all!” Giles swore at the offending culprit - the phone in his pants pocket. How the blasted thing had become switched to that offensive mode, he had no clue. He made a mental note to ask Willow how to return it to ‘ring only’, the first chance he got. All the phones --both house and mobile-- had been ringing non-stop since William had left. This latest call had been from Reverend Handley, reporting that William had been to St. Sebastian’s looking disturbed, and to inquire what was the matter, and asking if he could be of any help. Plus, the slayers --now fanned out all over London-- were calling nearly every few minutes, or so it seemed, to relay that they had yet to find Buffy, and to check for further directives.

On top of that, he’d had to fend anxious calls from both Xander and Dawn; the latter to whom which he had not told of Buffy’s strange disappearance. Of course, that lasted all of five minutes before an Trans-Atlantic equivalent of round-robin between Willow-Xander, Xander-Dawn ensued. A near-hysterical Dawn called back, screaming in his sound-enhanced mobile, and nearly causing his eardrum to bleed. If he had forgotten how shrill Dawn could be, he was quickly reminded. Still, as badly as he felt over his sins of omission, allaying her fears was not his first priority; it was finding Buffy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Amanda opened the car door just in time to see Beatrice release William’s hand. Curiously she looked at them. “Everything alright?”

“Just fine, dear,” answered her grandmother innocently. William nodded in agreement.

A few minutes later the car stopped in front of The Flaming Goat’s Foot, where William had asked to be let off, and they said their good-byes.

“I’m glad we got to see you again, William, even under the circumstances. Don’t worry, too much. I’m sure you’ll find Elizabeth in no time,” Amanda said.

“You’re probably right; at least I hope so,” William said, as he opened the door.

“I am!”

“Don’t forget what I told you,” Beatrice said.

He held her gaze for a moment. “I won’t.”

“Godspeed, William.”

“Godspeeds!” Alyson echoed.

Robert gave a quick wave as he drove off.

William watched until the car turned off a side street and drove out of sight.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

William had quickly checked The Flaming Goat’s Foot and the little shops around Highgate Village before heading to what had been their last stop yesterday, only to find it closed for the day.

After all the frantic hurrying he’d done to get from one place to another searching for Elizabeth, it was with a vague, uneasy reluctance that William finally dragged himself away from the locked gates of Highgate Cemetery to continue down the steep road back towards the St. Alban’s bus stop. He was almost there when his phone rang. Expecting it to be Giles or Willow, he was surprised to see an international prefix followed by the very first number he’d learned after learning his own.

“Dawn, are you alright?”

“Did you find Buffy?”

“No, I...you know?”

“Yeah, I talked to Xander, who had talked to Willow. Then I called Giles and bitched at him, but he wouldn’t tell me much. In fact, I got the feeling from both him and Willow that they weren’t telling me much.“

“What a surprise,” he mumbled.

“What the hell is going on? And don’t even think about giving me the short version, either.”

“I won’t. I promise,” William said solemnly.

He didn’t know if he was more relieved to know that Dawn was okay, or to have her as someone he could unburden himself to, but the words soon flowed. Only stopping momentarily in order to board the bus and find a seat alone in the back row –and likewise when he boarded the last train to Greenwich -- he filled her in on everything that had happened to him and her sister in the past 24 hours. He even told her of the slip-up Willow had made to him about her apology to Elizabeth and the reason behind being something neither she nor Giles would divulge. The only things he left out were some of the horrible details from his and Elizabeth’s mutual nightmare, and what The First had said to him in the guise of his mother.

With John at her side, Dawn listened intently. She tried to keep her warring emotions in check, but she couldn’t help sniffling back the tears.

“I’m so sorry, Dawn. The First...the danger you’re all in...It’s because of me. If I had never....”

“No, William! It is not your fault. The First is what’s doing this to everyone; you’re just the scapegoat its using to play its games. Secondly, blaming yourself isn’t going to help find my sister any quicker, so just stop it!”

William looked out the train window, as the lights of the tunnel underneath the Thames whizzed by hypnotically. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Dawn got up from the couch she was sitting on with John, and paced the room as she gathered her thoughts.

"The First told me that everything was my fault."

"Your fault?"

"Yes, my fault. The First came to me as that skank god, Glory. She said that because I didn't accept my destiny and jump off that tower, that everything that happened after Buffy died and was brought back; that all the deaths --even yours --were my fault."

"Oh, Dawn, no!" William said.

At the same time, John, hearing this for the first time hurried over to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "Dawnie...sweetheart."

"It's okay," she whispered to John, her hand over the receiver.

"You're right!" Dawn answered William. "It's not my fault any more than any of this is yours. I'm not saying that it didn't scare the crap out of me, because it did. It played right to my weakness, like it’s doing to yours."

"Got a lot of those," William said, a trace of bitterness creeping into his voice.

"To that I say, bullshit, William! You're not weaker than anybody else; in fact, you're stronger than most people I know...present company excepted," she said, turning her face up to John. He winked and gave her a small kiss; accepting the compliment in the spirit it was given. His life had been a cakewalk, even in medical school, compared to the hell that all these people had been through.

"The First has been doing to you, on a large scale, what its now doing to everyone else, only on a smaller one. That it’s been playing you since you came back...God! I don't know how you didn't completely lose your mind with The First inside your head."

"Very nearly did," William said softly. "Still not totally convinced that it was The First and not just me. It felt like it was me, or him, doing those...things; giving in to evil."

"You're not!"

"How do you know? You weren't ever evil."

"Might've been. I was a key to a hell dimension. How do I know what I did then? Still, I'm over it. You should get over it, too. Furthermore, The First can..."

William winced slightly as Dawn, in graphic detail, told him exactly what The First could do. Still, her tirade made him feel a bit better.

"I love you, Dawn. You know that, don't you?"

"Duh! I love you, too, you big dummy."

"I know...thanks."

"Getting back to my missing sister; from what you told me, I don’t think Buffy left because of The First. She wouldn’t do that knowing that everybody is still in danger; she would never just rely on a protection spell. If there’s one thing I know about my sister, it’s that she doesn’t do things without a reason, and she wouldn’t disappear now without one, either. If you haven’t found her, and the Slayerettes haven’t found her, then you’ve got to find out what Giles and Willow told Buffy. That could be the key,” Dawn said, wincing at the unintended self-pun.

William had been thinking the same thing. "Believe me, I plan on it."

END CHAPTER 209