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Gardens of Oblivion	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 12475 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Buffy could kill
Snyder. All she wanted to do was get home to Spike, but her rat-faced boss had
insisted the large stack of reports he�d dropped on her desk at four be ready
for him first thing in the morning. Jackass�

She�d tried
calling Spike to tell him she�d be getting home late, but there�d been no
answer at his apartment. She shrugged it off, reminding herself that he was
very much an adult and didn�t have to ask her permission before he went out.
Instead, she put her focus completely on the reports, wanting to get them done
as soon as possible so she could get back home to her man.

It was nearing nine o�clock when her cell phone rang, and Buffy jerked up from
the stack of papers she�d been pouring over, the sound seeming too loud in the
otherwise silent office. It took her a moment to place what it was, but when
she did, she fished the phone out of her purse and flipped it open, fully
expecting to hear Spike�s voice on the other end of the line.

�Hello?�

�Mrs. Finn? This
is the Sunnydale Police Department.�

Buffy felt a lump
rise in her throat, her heart beating faster as her mind raced to figure out
why the police would be calling her. �This is�this is Mrs. Finn.�

�Ma�am, we�d like
you to come down to the station immediately.�

�Is�is there
something wrong?� Buffy still couldn�t come up with a reason why the cops would
be calling her, especially now that they were calling her Mrs. Finn. Had
Riley done something? �Does this have to do with my husband?� she asked.

�I think it would
be best if we had this conversation in person, ma�am,� the officer replied. �If
you need it, we could send someone to pick you up.�

�No, I can drive
myself. I�ll be there in a few minutes,� Buffy replied. She still had no idea why
she�d gotten this phone call, but she could tell by the sound of the man�s
voice it was indeed very important.

�All
right. Someone will be waiting
for you at the front desk.�

The line went
dead, and Buffy took a deep breath before closing her cell phone and putting it
back in her purse. She grabbed her things and ran out of the office without
preamble, unable to shake the sense of dread that accompanied her downstairs to
her car.

*** *** ***

Buffy hurried
into the police station, stopping only when she reached the front desk. A tall
man in a suit stood beside it, and immediately, he stepped towards her. �Are
you Mrs. Finn?�

�Yes, I�m�� She
stopped. �I�m Buffy. What�s going on?�

�I�m Detective
Gonzales. I�m going to need you to come with me, ma�am,� the man said.

�Not until you
tell me what�s going on,� Buffy insisted.

Detective
Gonzales seemed to soften slightly. �I�m afraid we found a body tonight. We
believe it�s your husband. We need you to identify him.�

�A
body?� Buffy asked, the
detective�s statement seeming too unreal to be true. �As�as
in a dead body?�

Detective
Gonzales nodded grimly. �Yes.�

�I�� Buffy didn�t
know what to say, the shock to heavy for her to shake. But maybe it wasn�t him
at all. Maybe she�d go and look at the body, and it would be a stranger.
�Okay.�

�I�ll need you to
accompany me to the morgue.�

Buffy simply
nodded as she followed the detective out to an unmarked police vehicle. The
trip the morgue was short, but it seemed to stretch for her, as her mind
contemplated what she�d find there � what she wanted to find there.

It wasn�t until
she was standing over a cold, metal table, looking down at Riley�s body that it
became real to her. The look on her face and the choked sob that emanated from
her was all it took to tell Detective Gonzales the dead man was indeed Riley
Finn. Buffy backed away from the table, shaking her head slowly. While she may
have held a lot of anger and resentment towards Riley after the collapse of
their marriage, she�d never wished him dead. There had been a time once
when he�d made her happy�

Detective
Gonzales nodded towards the medical examiner who slowly pulled the sheet back
up over Riley�s face. The action brought Buffy�s attention back to the body
again, and this time, her eyes flickered over his neck.

She only saw it
for a moment before the sheet was back over him, but there was no mistaking
what she�d seen. Buffy stumbled backwards, unable to breath, certain her heart
was coming to a stop in her chest. Detective Gonzales caught her a moment
before she hit the floor, and she sagged against him, tears she couldn�t stem
falling down her cheeks. The detective held her up, his expression stoic as he
let her cry.

�Would you like
to sit down?� the medical examiner asked, making Buffy turn towards him
suddenly, as if she�d forgotten he was there. As if maybe she�d forgotten
where she was� �There�s a lounge� You could sit on the couch. Maybe have
some coffee?�

�I�� Buffy tried
to speak but couldn�t make sense of the thoughts in her head.

Detective
Gonzales wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her towards the door,
making her decision for her when he knew she wasn�t going to be able to do it
on her own. �Come with me, Mrs. Finn. The lounge is in here.�

Buffy let him
lead her to sit down, staring straight ahead until she felt him wrap her hands
around a warm paper Styrofoam cup full of coffee. She gave him a small smile
before she turned her attention to the coffee, staring at the black liquid.
�Do�do you know what happened to him?� Buffy asked, her voice sounding weak,
tired.

�Well, the wounds
almost look like a wild animal, but there�s been a rash of similar killings in
the neighborhood recently,� Detective Gonzales replied, taking a seat in a
chair across from Buffy. �Only they�ve all been young women so we�re still looking
into a few leads.� His eyes were trained on Buffy as he spoke, as if watching
for her reaction.

It came in the
form of her coffee cup falling from her hands and to the ground. The hot liquid
splashed up, hitting Detective Gonzales in the leg. �Oh my god, I�m so sorry,�
Buffy said, jumping up and looking around wildly for towels, wanting to help
him clean it up � wanting to do anything to get her mind off what she�d just
heard.

�It�s fine,� Detective Gonzales insisted, finding the towels
and cleaning up the mess himself. �You�ve had a long night.� He threw the
coffee-stained paper towels and empty cup into the garbage can before
approaching Buffy again. He retrieved his card from his pocket and handed it to
her. �I�m going to take you back to your car now. But if you start thinking of
anyone who would�ve done this to your husband, I want you to give me a call,
all right?�

Buffy nodded
numbly as she took the card, running her fingers over the slight relief of the
print. What could she say? Hey, I think my husband might have been killed by
the vampire I�m sleeping with?

She followed
Detective Gonzales out in silence.

*** *** ***

Buffy sat in her
car, her head buried in her hands as she sobbed, her body shaking. She�d
managed to get a mile away from the police station before she�d had to stop and
pull over, unable to go any further.

She didn�t know
what to do. Part of her wanted to run to Spike and beg him to tell her it
wasn�t true, that she had jumped to a crazy conclusion, but she knew that wouldn�t
be the case. The mark on Riley�s neck had been too distinctive, and Buffy knew
the odds of Riley somehow getting killed by another vampire were very, very
slim.

But that wasn�t
what had shaken her up the most. There could be an explanation for what had
happened with Riley, even if Spike had killed him. She knew how her husband
could be, and she knew how things could�ve escalated. It didn�t mean she was
okay with it, but maybe�maybe if she talked to Spike, she could understand.

It was what
Detective Gonzales had told her about finding women with similar wounds. Dead women. She could no longer ignore what Spike did
when he fed. She�d known � part of her had always known � but it had been easy
to pretend when it hadn�t been right in front of her face.

Buffy couldn�t
pretend anymore. Her lover was a killer.

And what was more, he�d brought her home the first night to kill her.

The full weight
of that had crashed down onto her shoulders, driving her to pull over to the
side of the road, her tears coming out in choked sobs. The dreamlike state
she�d drifted into when she met Spike was gone now, replaced by the harsh
reality she�d tried so hard to fight against.

This wasn�t some
fairytale anymore. Vampires were real, and she finally understood the full ramifications
of that. And now that she did, her entire worldview was turned upside down,
nothing seeming to fit in the places where it used to anymore. Suddenly, she
knew what lurked in the shadows. She�d touched it.

Where could she
go from here? Could she turn back around, pretend she�d never met Spike, never
touched a world so different from her own? He�d taken her over completely,
shown her things she�d never imagined before, made her feel things she hadn�t
thought were possible. Would she ever be satisfied again? If she turned away
from Spike, would it be like suddenly living in a world without color?

But on the other
hand, how could she stay? How could she sleep next to Spike knowing he was a
killer? She understood now in a way she hadn�t before what he really was. He�d
told her before that her blood wasn�t enough for him and now she knew why. He
needed to fully drain people to get enough. It was the food chain for him, and
he was a different link than humans. She understood that, at least on a purely scientific
level.

However, it was
one thing to understand something. It was another thing entirely to be
comfortable with it.

She knew herself
well enough to know that no matter what she may feel for Spike, she wouldn�t be
able to simply wave him off while he went to kill people. Even if it was what
he had to do, she didn�t have it in her to be that Darwinian about the whole
situation. People may be food to Spike, but to her, they were still people.

She couldn�t go
back to what she had been � not now that she knew what she�d be missing. Yet
she couldn�t stay where she was either � not now that she understood the truth.

So where did that
leave her?

She could only go
forward. But where?

Buffy pulled
herself upright and gripped the steering wheel. She knew what she had to do,
though she also realized the act smacked of desperation.

However, as she
turned back onto the road, her tires screeching against the pavement, she
didn�t care.

Buffy
drove to Spike�s, parking her car outside his house before she ran into the building,
refusing to take the time to think things through. Her old life felt gone now anyway, and she realized
she really had nothing else to live for. All she had anymore was Spike, and
unless she took the chance � took the leap � she wouldn�t have that
anymore either.

All she could
do was go forward�

She found him in
the bedroom, sitting on the bed. The window was open, filling the room with
moonlight, but Spike was in the shadows, his form barely visible. Buffy didn�t
realize she�d said his name until he looked up, though his features were still
hidden from her in the darkness.

�You�you know,
don�t you?� he asked, his voice soft, breaking.

�Yes, I do.�

Spike leaned
forward, the moonlight hitting him, and for the first time, Buffy saw the burns
covering his body. �I�m sorry, Buffy. I�m so sorry. I didn�t mean to. I�I tried
not to, but he attacked me, and the sun� I�m so sorry��

�Shh�� Buffy whispered as she approached the bed, feeling a
sense of calm wash over her as she resigned herself to what she had to do. �It�s okay, Spike. It�s all going to be okay. I promise.�

�Buffy?� Spike
asked softly as she straddled his lap, taking his face in her hands and kissing
the burns, making him sigh softly against her. �I�m so
sorry,� he said again as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing his hands
against her back.

�I told you it�ll
be okay,� Buffy replied as she brushed a kiss against his temple.

She pulled back
and looked into his eyes, seeing the questions in them. Without hesitation, she
answered them.

�I want you to
turn me.�

*** *** ***

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Gardens of Oblivion