Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Change of Season	By : wright99 Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female Views: 8857 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
Disclaimer: Same as it ever was. Joss owns all. i'm just playin'

Feedback:Yeah

A/N: I know this has veered away from Joyce/Faith as a romantic pairing but stick with me they will be together, maybe.

A change of seasons, Chapter 19

1

"So, what do you think?"
The tall man accompanying Joyce at the Gallery walks over to the painting for a closer inspection. He stares at the canvas intently, leaning in to observe the detail work of the painting, making some sounds deep in his throat. He then turns, and walks a number of paces back, and turns back to the painting, hands behind his back. He takes a long look at the work, cocking his head left and right from time to time. Finally, he reaches into the breast pocket of his three piece suit and retrieves a handkerchief. Removing his gold colored wire framed glasses, he cleans them while appearing to think.
"Disturbing," Rupert Giles says, returning his glasses to his nose, and his handkerchief to his breast pocket. "Very disturbing."

"I'm sorry?" Joyce looks at him. "Is something wrong?"
"No, actually I meant that as a compliment. The painting is obviously a genuine Georges Zelle. His work is always somewhat� disturbing�" Mr. Giles frowns deeply. "I'll take it� and the smaller piece, also."
"Excellent," Joyce smiles, walking over to him. "I think you've made an excellent choice. I know for a fact that Mr. Zelle considers this a signature work, and he gave me quite a time as to its placement in the gallery. It took some convincing to make him see that this was not an appropriate piece for the general gallery."
"I hear he can be quite�" Mr. Giles seems to search for the appropriate word, "� difficult. But then, that's rather reflected in his work�" He waves at the large canvas before him. "A blending if you will of the bizarre and somewhat surreal combined with an almost childlike innocence� with an almost morbid twist." He nods appreciatively. "Though my particular line of study is medieval texts and history, I find the Neo post modernist nihilists to be rather fascinating, don't you?"
"You seem to be quite knowledgeable on the subject," Joyce says approvingly. "Most of my clients are looking for something to go with their drapes."
"I've been following Mr. Zelle's career for some time now, and I'm very pleased to finally obtain some of his works. I think this will go well on my study wall by the Fenner, and the smaller one will be perfect in my office at the University�" he turns and smiles at Joyce. "I'm very happy you were able to arrange for me to meet Mr. Zelle, too. He is quite the character�"
"Oh, I agree, " Joyce chuckles, "I could tell you some stories about our Mr. Zelle�"
"Indeed?" Giles places his hand lightly on Joyce's arm. "I would find that rather fascinating�"
"Excuse me, Mr. � Giles, was it?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"Excuse me, Mr. Giles, but much as I would love to gossip about Georges with you, I'm afraid I'm rather pressed for time at the moment�"
"Oh, of course. I wouldn't dream of taking up your time during business hours," Giles smiles charmingly at her. "I suppose I was asking you if you would have dinner with me, and we could chat then. Though of course, I made a rather botched job of it�."
"I'm sorry," Joyce, a little puzzled, stares at her client. "Did you ask me to dinner?"
"Yes, though I fear I did it rather poorly," Giles says self deprecatingly. "I'm rather out of practice. Did I do it wrong?"
"No," Joyce chuckles, in spite of herself. "I'm just rather surprised. I've just met you�"
"Ah, yes, there is that," Giles nods agreeably. "However, you strike me as a rather intelligent, attractive woman that I would like to get to know better. I really must seem a bit odd to you�"
Joyce smiles.
"� but I've always been a little eccentric. At least, that's what my friends and family tell me. I tend to bull right through and get to the meat of things, rather than playing by the rules�"
"Rules?" Joyce is getting more puzzled, and oddly charmed, by the minute.
"Yes, you know. We should know each other for scads of months, or years, and then finally I get around to asking you out, by which time you're thoroughly as comfortable with me as with an old slipper."
Joyce raises both eyebrows.
"However, I do find myself with somewhat of a dilemma �"
"You do? A dilemma?" She smiles again.
"Well, yes. You see, I'm only a guest lecturer at UC Sunnydale, on loan to their History department, so to speak. I'll probably only be here � oh� a semester, two at the outside, and I fear that doesn't give us lots of time to waste going through the usual rituals. So, as you Americans would say, I thought I'd just cut to the chase and ask you out."
"I see. Well� hmmm�" Joyce's smile becomes perhaps a bit fixed. "Could you excuse me for a moment? I'd like to see to the delivery of your purchase."
"Oh dear. I fear I've offended you!" Giles gets a slightly worried look on his face. "I did mention I'm rather out of practice� I haven't dated much since my divorce� or well, actually, for rather a long time before it, to be quite frank�"
"You're divorced?"
"Yes, rather. For a year now, or a little more. My wife, a microbiologist, rather developed a fondness for young men�" Mr. Giles looks a bit discombobulated, " � young men with a rather overabundance of muscles with names like Bruno and Mark and Peter�"
Joyce smiles sympathetically, placing a hand on his arm. "I know what you mean. I'm in the process of getting divorced, too. Henry seems to keep trading me in for younger, firmer models�" She shrugs.
"Well, I must say, this Henry chap sounds rather like a burke�" Giles says Henry with some distaste.
"A Burke?"
"I'm sorry. A colloquial. It means roughly, idiot."
"That's rather charitable of you. He's actually a womanizing� ok, never mind that. I think I was seeing to the delivery of your purchases." Joyce pulls herself back to business. "Could you excuse me?"
Before he can actually reply, Joyce almost launches herself across the gallery. She stops briefly at Taylor's desk.
"Could you see that Mr. Giles' purchases are packed up and delivered to this address?" Joyce hands Taylor a slip of paper.
"Sure, Joyce, no problem, " Taylor looks at her closely. "Are you all right? You seem a bit�flustered."
"What? No! I mean� it's just a rather large sale. It's� amazing�" Joyce smiles, definitely flustered.
"Uh-huh�" Taylor looks around Joyce at Rupert Giles. "He is rather cute�"
"I'm sorry?" Joyce looks at Taylor a little sternly.
"Well, I mean, if you like older guys. He�"
"I don't think we're going to rate our customers on their� cute factor? He's just another customer. A rather generous one at that."
"Right," Taylor takes the hint and turns back to her computer screen.
Joyce gazes across the gallery, looking at Rupert Giles as he stands casually inspecting the artwork.
Cute? I don't know. I mean, he is charming, that's for sure. What would my mother call it? Oh yeah, silver tongued. Definitely a charmer� but cute? Hmmm� he does have that aristocratic thing going for him, and he does sort of have a Laurence Olivier thing going� Oh for goodness sakes, Joyce, stop it! You're still married� well, sort of, and never mind you're in a serious relationship with another woman�
Yeah, and that's going so well� not! She walked out on you� ok, to be honest, you probably drove her to it. But you still love her, right? Well, yeah, I do� but maybe that isn't going to work out. That was her whole theme, wasn't it? It's not going to work out�
What are you doing? He didn't ask to marry you. He didn't even really ask for a date. It's just dinner� for goodness sakes, what's the harm in that? Not like it's going to lead to anything. He's just being� what? Nice? Is that so foreign to you that you can't recognize it? Gee� just go for it. Do it. I mean, I'm pretty sure Faith isn't sitting around, mooning for me. She's probably moved on, you know?
And anyway, it's not anything romantic. Just dinner. Two � what? Friends? No, we don't know each other that well� acquaintances�. Right. Acquaintances� colleagues, even, in a way� having dinner. Where's the harm in that? And hey, this might lead to more sales. So, it's really just a business dinner. There you go. A business dinner. Just something I'd do with any client, male or female. Ok then. Ok.
"Joyce?" Taylor sits, holding out the invoice to Joyce. "Hello, Earth to Joyce." Her eyes follow Joyce's. "Ahhh."
"Mmmm? Sorry, I was just thinking."
"Yeah, I bet you were," Taylor smirks knowingly.
"Taylor�!" There's a warning note in Joyce's voice.
"Sorry!" She hands Joyce the invoice. "Just� he's rather hot�"
"You think he's hot?"
"Oh yeah. I mean, look at him! Tall, looks like a Duke or something, has that sexy British accent, obviously rich�"
"How do you figure that?"
"Excuse me? That's a two thousand dollar Luciano Barbera suit he's wearing, and he wears it like casual stuff. Never mind he spent�" She looks at her computer screen " 85,000 dollars with us. I'm thinking he's not hurting for the money�"
"Well, that's besides the point. The point is, he's a customer�"
"Yeah, and he seems to have the hots for you�"
"WHAT?!?!"
"Well, when you were leading him around, he was following you like a puppy, and then he's like checking you out�"
"He was not checking me out!"
"Oh please, Joyce, give me a break. He was so checking you out. He was practically drooling�"
Joyce blushes scarlet.
"I really need to find more for you to do if all you have to do is come up with ridiculous ideas like that�" Joyce shakes her head. "He's a client, and that's all."
"Ok, just� well, he did ask me if you were married�"
Joyce groans.
"I'm thinking, he's interested."
"And I'm thinking, we should keep our minds on business."
"Ok, just saying�"
"Thank you, Taylor, that'll be enough�" Joyce walks over to where Rupert is standing, and hands him the invoice.
"Here you go, Mr. Giles�"
"Rupert, please�"
"Rupert, "Joyce smiles. "I've arranged to have your paintings delivered. If you need assistance hanging your new artwork, I can arrange to have someone assist you�"
"No, I haven't decided if I'll be displaying the artwork here or back home�" He neatly folds the invoice and slips it in his coat pocket. "After all, I'm merely a guest lecturer here, and my term is limited�"
"Oh. So, you'll be returning to England then?"
"Well, they have offered me a full time position here. Chair of the Medieval History studies in the Humanities school. I just haven't decided if I want to take it or not."
"Sounds � prestigious."
"It does, doesn't it?" Rupert smiles, "Though, pompous also comes to mind."
Joyce laughs. "Well, I suppose so� still, it's quite an offer. You must be quite the professor."
"It's the British thing. You yanks have a penchant for all things English, it seems. Frankly, I'm only a junior professor at Cambridge�"
"Cambridge?" Joyce nods. "Impressive."
"Believe me, Ms. Summers, it sounds much more impressive than it is. And I have to admit, I do enjoy your California sunshine� rather nice after the 3 week summers we have in Britain. Still, it's home�"
"Sounds like you have some thinking to do�"
"I suppose I do," Giles agrees, "I venture it all comes down to whether I find a compelling reason to stay." He looks pointedly at Joyce.
Joyce feels a warm blush creeping up her neck.
"So, was there anything else we could do for you today, Mr. Giles," Joyce tries to swing the conversation back to business. "Since you like Zelle so much, I do have some other pieces that might interest you�"
"Actually, there is something you could do for me," Giles lays a hand on her arm. "You could answer my query from before."
"I'm sorry," Joyce feigns ignorance while pulling her arm away. "Query?"
"About dinner? Would you be kind enough to share a meal with me?"
"Oh, right. About that. Right now, things are kind of complicated with me�"
"Yes, of course," Giles immediately retreats. "Your divorce. I wasn't thinking� I should've been more�"

"Wait a minute, let me finish please, first," Joyce puts up a hand. "I was just saying that I'll need to make some arrangements, but I'd be happy to join you for dinner� maybe towards the end of the week?"
"That would be brilliant. However, if things are a little difficult right now, I don't want to make things more complicated�"
Joyce chuckles, to Giles' confusion. "I really don't think that would be possible," she explains, seeing his puzzled look. "Why don't you give me a call later this week, and we can firm up plans then?"
"Yes, of course, that would be�" he stops, and seems hesitate, "You're sure, now? I don't want to make things difficult for you. We can always�"
"Believe me, it would be nice to have a meal with an adult without the angst and � it would just be very nice." She places her hand on his sleeve. "I'm looking forward to it."
"Ah, yes, well�" some of Giles' sophistication slips, and for a moment Joyce glimpses a small boy not used to getting what he wants, and being quite taken aback that he has. "� Thursday, then, I'll call you on Thursday�?"
He starts away, towards the exit, stops, and turns back.
"I'm sorry, I forgot to get a phone number�?" He seems a little embarrassed.
Even more than by his gentlemanliness and sophistication, Joyce is charmed by this slightly less sure, more discombobulated Giles. She smiles, and walking over to a table, picks up a pen and tablet. She writes something down, and tears off the sheet.
"Here you go," She walks back to Giles, handing him the note. "I can usually be reached there after 6�"
"Thank you again," He pockets the note, and for a moment, stands there awkwardly. " Well, I guess I should be off. I'll ring you up Thursday." He turns, and almost hurries to the exit, as if to leave before Joyce can change her mind.
Joyce watches him go, with some amusement. She shakes her head at the wonderment of it. Men can be so easy sometimes� She turns to see Taylor looking at her, with a slightly triumphant look on her face.
All right, Ms. Smarty pants, you called it� this time� Joyce knows she's going to hear about this for awhile.
"Have you taken care of the Simpson order like I requested?" Joyce says, in passing, playing it cool. "Let me know when you have it ready. I want to review it before it goes out."
She walks on by, towards her office. " I'll be in my office." She says over her shoulder.
Taylor watches her, a little knowing smile on her face. She then turns and heads towards the back.

2

With variables, constants, rational and irrational numbers dancing through her head, Dawn exits algebra, turning left .
She's on a mission
I know a couple of irrational numbers Dawn thinks, as she makes her way down the hall. This is totally stupid, it's not going to work. I've done stupid things in the past, but this is gotta be close to the top of the stupid.
Letting out a sigh, she weaves her way through the crowd, heading for a particular classroom. Growing a bit impatient, afraid she'll be late, she ducks and pushes her way against the tide heading for lunch.
Still, as stupid as this is, I can't just let this go on. Someone's gotta fix it, and dammit, guess who's stuck doing it?. I hate this!
She's so focused on getting where she's going and not being late, she almost runs over her objective.
"Whoa, Dawn!" Willow ducks out of the way as Dawn nearly runs her over. "Gotta say, you're really doing good with the bulldozing there. Maybe you should try out for the football team. I hear they could use a couple of good defensive linemen."
Dawn stands there, looking at her with a frown on her face, punctuated by a furrowed brow.
"That's supposed to be funny, right? You think that's funny?"
"Well, yes� what's the dire, Dawn? You look like you just swallowed a really nasty lemon. C'mon, spill, what's � HEY!"
Dawn grabs Willow's arm, and before she can finish babbling, she starts pulling her along. Willow tries to put on the brakes.
"What's going on? Where you dragging me? Are you going to say anything to me? Dawn! Stop!"
Dawn just silently barrels on, pushing through the crowd, heading for the school Quad. Willow, dragged along, constantly shifting her books in an attempt not to drop them, just totters along after, still trying to put a halt to this two man parade and get to the bottom of things.
Geeze. I know Buffy's crazy, but I thought Dawn was at least normal. Maybe the wacky runs in the family.
"Dawn, c'mon. Will you please tell me what's this is all about? I really don�t like being dragged like a doll through school and, a side note? You're hurting my arm. So just let me go�"
And then, it becomes all too clear what this is all about to Willow as Dawn makes a beeline for a particular bench at the south end of the quad.
A bench where Xander Harris is sitting.
"Hey, Dawn I thought you� whoa. What's she doing here?"
"What's going on?" Willow finally shakes Dawn off, standing a few yards away. "Why did you drag me here to HIM?" Willow stands back and crosses her arms over her chest. She doesn't look at all pleased.
"Hey, if she's gonna be here, I'm outta here," Xander stands up, picking up his lunch. "I've got nothing to say to HER!" He starts to leave.
"Alexander Lavelle Harris, you sit your butt down right now, or I'm breaking up with you!" Dawn says, forcefully. She turns on Willow. "And you too. Park your butt right there!" She points at the bench recently vacated by Xander.
"Excuse me! You're not boss of me!" Willow and Xander say in unison. They look at each other, then turn away, deliberately not looking at each other.
"Well, somebody needs to be, because the two of you are acting like spoiled brats. Sit down," Dawn commands, crossing her own arms. "NOW!"
Taken aback, both sit, almost on command.
"All right, listen up," Dawn says, starting to pace in front of the two former best friends. "This has got to stop. I'm tired of it, and frankly, I'm tired of one or the other of you making me feel guilty being with the other. My best friend fighting with my boyfriend is making me CRAZY!"
Both sit, like chastened children, hands in lap and neither looking directly at Dawn, or each other. Both have a slightly petulant look on their faces.
"So, whatcha got to say for yourselves?" She looks from one to the other. "Well?"
Willow shrugs. "I've got nothing."
"Me either," Xander concurs. "I guess there's nothing to say, Dawn."
"That's it? You're going to sit there and tell me you've got nothing to say to each other?" Dawn shakes her head in disbelief. "Exactly how long are you two going to stay mad at each other?"
"I dunno," Xander looks at Dawn. "I was thinking forever."
"Works for me," Willow says, getting up. "If we're done here�?"
"We're not, sit down!" Dawn glares at her. Willow sits.
"Look, I really don't want to be around her, so if you'll excuse me�" Xander stands up. He quickly sits down when Dawn's withering gaze causes his knees to buckle. "This blows."
"No kidding, Harris. Did you put her up to this?"
"Gimme a break! Why would I do that? I so can think of like a million things I'd rather be doing than sitting here with you, Rosenberg!"
"Oh cut it out, you overgrown babies!" Dawn explodes. "My god, you've been friend, best friends forever, and you're going to throw that away? Real mature, the both of you! I wonder sometimes who's the senior, and who's the sophomore around here. I swear, you're both acting like �"
"Dawn," Willow rises, ignoring Dawn's glare. "I appreciate what you're trying to do here. But this isn't something you can fix by trying to scold us out of it. You don't know �" she presses her lips together, trying to hold in her emotions. "�you just don't know all the facts. This isn't that easy to fix."
Dawn looks at them, noting the way Willow studiously avoids looking in Xander's direction; Xander in the meanwhile looks at Willow surreptitiously out of the corner of the eye, and then quickly looking away.
The anger seems to drain out of her. She sits down heavily next to Xander, and lets out a breath.
"Maybe you're right," Dawn says, feeling awful. "I just hate this, you know? I really love you both, and seeing you like this� really hurts."
"Hey, babe, don't," Xander puts his arm around her. "Don't do this to yourself. This isn't your fault�"
"Feels like it�"
"C'mon, Dawnie, don't beat yourself up," Willow reaches over, and ruffles her hair. "Stuff happens, you know? Things change. Just gotta get used to it�"
"Used to it?" Dawn feels sick. "I don't want to get used to it�" She stands up, shaking off Xander's arm. "Not bad enough I've got a crazy sister with a big mouth that ruins everything. Not bad enough my parents are splitting up� now you guys are splitting up, too, and I don't want to get used to it! I'm tired of everyone I care about just �splitting up!"

"Dawn, hey�" Xander gets up to go to her.
"Dawnie�" Willow has the same idea.
"No, don't, just don't!" Dawn puts up her hands to put them off. "Really, I don't want you close to me right now. I'm so sick of having to be the one that takes it in the gut, and has to keep smiling, keep smiling, Dawn. Don't let it bug you, Dawn. Well, Dawn's really sick of it. I need you guys, but you're both at each other, and I feel like crap when I'm with either of you cuz I know that the other is on the outs�" She starts waving her hands around, gesturing wildly. "I could talk to you guys about stuff� now I got no one� not even Faith. Cuz, she split too. I got no one, and you know what? I HATE IT!" She balls her fists, hitting her thighs. Her face turns red with anger and hurt. " I don't know what's up or down or sideways anymore. I don't have ANYONE I can talk to anymore� and � it's not fair. What you're doing to each other and to me? IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"
"Dawn, honey, calm down�" Xander tries to put his arms around her, but she lashes out in anger, hitting him in the chest.
"NO! Get AWAY FROM ME!" She yells at him. "Both of you, just get away from me! I hate you both! You can BOTH GO TO HELL!!!"
Looking confused and angry and scared, she starts to back away from Xander and Willow.
Xander follows after, trying to grab her arm.
"Dawn, don't go, please�"
"Get away�" She shakes him off. "Stay away from me, Xander Harris, or I'll scream rape!"
Xander stands there, stunned, as Dawn looks this way and that, then runs off, running into one of the buildings for cover.
"Smooth, real smooth, Harris," Willow comes up behind him, needling him. "But you always did have a touch with the ladies�"
"Shut up!" He turns on her, angrily, "I really don't need it from you!"
"Well, you need it from someone, Xander. Maybe if you didn't pull that "Her or me" crap on her, she wouldn't be so upset�"
"You don't know anything�"
"I know you, Xander Harris. I know I got it from you�"
"Yeah, well, you made your choice, didn't you?" Xander spits out at her. "I see that turned out well�"
Willow turns red. "That's none of your business!"
"You got that right, Will," Xander goes to her. "I stopped making it my business when you chose her. Again! After the last time. After what she did to you� but I warned you about that, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Willow says, her voice soft and steely. "When the going gets tough, you cut and run!"
"How can anybody so smart be so stupid?" Xander shakes his head. "Who stuck by you when that�" Xander bites his tongue, holding back the expletive, "�witch� had you ganged raped? Who brought you your assignments from school for a month so you wouldn't fall behind, because you couldn't face anyone? Who listened to you cry your heart out, night after night, over someone who isn't good enough to lick your shoes� much less, make you miserable like that? It broke my heart, Will, to watch you eat yourself away over her. To watch you close up like a clam because she did hurt you so badly� god, I wanted to � but you wouldn't even let me�" he doesn't even realize he's clenching his fists,"� when you finally came back�didn't I stick with you, when no one else would even talk to you? Because of the lies that bitch spread about you? I've never seen you hate school before, Will. But she even took that from you� "
Willow stands there, not looking at him. She can't.
"And even then, at first, I saw you look at her as she passed by, and ignored you. You looked like a junkie and she was your drug. And � I couldn't take it, not after everything she did� and I told you, I told you, Will, I wouldn't watch you do it to yourself again. I wouldn't be there the next time, if you chose her� and I thought� you seemed to snap out of it, you got better, got stronger, and I was so proud of you� and then�I find out you're with her again! AGAIN! And you're angry because I � I won't let you break my heart like that again. Well, excuse ME!"
Willow stands there, the tears coursing down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Xander� I didn't mean to�"
"I guess I'm just stupid, Will. But we know that already. But I just don't get it. How do you 'not mean to�' be with someone? How do you accidentally sneak around behind your friends back? I just don't get it." He frowns. "I guess, I just don't get you." Shaking his head, he starts to walk away.
"Xander� don't�"
Xander stops and turns around. He doesn't look mad any longer. Just sad.
"Don't what, Will? I don't know what to do here. Like you said, I'm not good with the ladies, you know? I'm out of ideas�" He seems to slump even more. "Thing is, it's hurting Dawn now, too. And I don't want that. So, I'm calling a truce."
"Truce?" Willow's voice is low, barely audible.
"I'm not going to fight with you anymore, Willow. I'm not going to make Dawn choose between us. I know you care about her, and I care about her� and seeing her lose it like that? Really scary. So, I'm not making it worse. So, truce?"
Willow nods, afraid to trust her voice.
"You know what the worst thing is?"
"What?" Willow asks, softly.
"You let that� you let her take away your pride, your dignity, you're best friend, and mine. And, now, she might've cost me my girlfriend, too. I just gotta know something."
Willow looks at him doe eyed.
"Was it worth it? Was she really worth it?"
Not waiting for the answer, he turns and leaves.
Willow stands there watching him go.
Alone. Like she's never been alone in her life.

3

Buffy rushes towards the gym, cursing her Chemistry teacher for the detention. She knows she's running late, and she just knows Cordelia will use it as an excuse to abuse her more.
God, I should just quit. I mean, is it worth this? I can't even stand going to practice, cuz I know I'm just going to get farther and farther behind�
No, I won't quit. I won't let them make me quit! I don't care. They can't take this from me! I don't care what they do! They can heap on the crap with a wheelbarrow. I'm not quitting. I'm not a quitter!
She pushes open the doors to the locker room, and makes her way towards her locker. She stops when she hears angry voices down one of the rows.
"I've got to see her�"
Willow? What's she doing here?
Buffy looks down the row of benches, seeing a cluster of cheerleaders surrounding Willow at the end of the row. She looks, to Buffy's judgment, like a dying deer surrounded by hyenas.
"Look, geekazoid. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, she doesn't want to see you. Get lost, freak show!"
Buffy feels her anger rise. Harmony. Figures. She starts down the aisle.
"Gimme a break, Harmony. When did you become Cordelia's bodyguard, huh?"
There are some titters behind her, and Harmony turns, glaring them down. She turns back to Willow.
"Listen, Queer bait, we don't want your kind around here, you know? God, it's disgusting to even think of you being in here, you lezzy freak. Probably checking us out, aren't you? I figure, they outta have three dressing rooms. One for guys, one for real girls, and one for not sures� like you, Ellen."
There's laughter behind her, and slaps on the back as Willow stands there, reddening.
"You know what Harm? You know what they say about homophobes, don't you?" A voice comes from behind Willow.
"Well, well, look who's finally here. Little late, aren't you Buffy? But then, that's a specialty for you, isn't it? "
More laughs, this time at Buffy's expense.
Buffy makes a disgusted face. "What're you babbling about, Harmony?"
"Oh, nothing, really. Just I heard you had to make a special visit to the doctor after your visit from Aunt Flo was late." She leans in. "So, tell me, Buffy, how was it fucking the entire football team?"
The girls behind her burst out laughing. Buffy stands there, fuming.
"You didn't answer her question, Harmony." Willow says quietly.
"Are you still here? What question?"
"I asked," Buffy finds her voice, speaking up. "Do you know what they say about homophobes? But hey, maybe it's all that peroxide you use. Probably affecting your hearing�" She smirks." Do you even know what a homophobe is, Harmony?"
"Yeah, of course I do," Harmony says, clueless. "So, Ms. Smart ass, what do they say?"
"Just that� they can't seem to open the closet door�" Buffy deadpans. She leans in. "So, tell me, Harm. You and Cordy are real close� how is it�"
"I think we've heard enough out of you," Cordelia comes around the end of the lockers.
Everyone goes silent. She looks around at the girls, and frowns.
"Don't you have elsewhere to be?"
"What're you saying, Buffy?" Harmony approaches Buffy, her eyes narrowed.
"Harmony? Get lost," Cordelia stares at her. "Take the team out and start on the routines."
"Cordelia! No! This bitch �"
"Harmony? GO!"
Harmony shoots Buffy an evil look. "This isn't over, Buffy. Not by a long shot. You better keep outta my way�"
Turning, she storms off after the rest of the girls.
"Cordelia, I need to talk to you�" Willow starts.
"Shut up, Willow. I don't have squat to say to you. Well, except to say get your skanky ass outta here�" She turns and looks at Buffy. "And take your garbage with you�"
"What?" Buffy looks at Cordelia, shocked.
"You're cut, Buffy. Do I need to draw you a picture? Collect your stuff, turn in your uniform. You're gone."
"Just because you're pissed at me, Cordelia, doesn't mean you can cut Buffy off the squad�"
"Oh god, Willow. Get over yourself, would you? You have zip to do with it," Cordelia moves to Buffy, smirking. "You've been nothing but trouble ever since I put you on the squad, Blondie. Late, causing trouble, getting in trouble� frankly, you're not worth it, you know?" She shakes her head, a disgusted look on her face. "Don't know what it was like at your old school, but we've got an image to keep around here."
"It's not fair," Buffy protests, "I did everything you wanted. Everything you told me to do� you can't cut me!"
Cordelia laughs.
"Get real, Buffy. I can do whatever I want. And I want you gone. So, get out."
"Is that a fact, Cordelia?" Willow speaks up, moving towards her. "Maybe you forgot, but I got the goods on you. I can go to the police and tell them all about your little 'initiations'. So, I'd back off�"
"Try it. Go ahead, Willow. Try it. And I'll just get my dad's lawyers on it, and get you and your 'evidence' blown out of the water�" Cordelia comes over, and pokes Willow in the chest. "Your dad� he works for the university, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So, thing is, my dad is on the board of regents. And wouldn't it be a shame if suddenly, your dad lost his professorship? Oh, and I'm pretty sure he could get him blackballed, too. And, push it, and I'll sue your ass and win, and bye bye house. So, don't try to screw with me, Willow. Or you better just kiss everything your dad worked for goodbye." She reaches out, shoving Willow away. "Get lost, Lesbo. We don't want your kind around here�"
"Hey, Cor!"
"What?" Cordelia turns toward Buffy.
Buffy hawks, and spits, hitting Cordelia directly in the face.
"Eat that, bitch," She turns to Willow, linking her arm through hers. "Let's get outta here. It kinda stinks, ya know?"
The two turn and walk towards the exit, as Cordelia stands there, wiping the spittle off her face.
"You better run, you lousy bitches. Run real far. Cuz, I'm so gonna get you for this!"
But the two are already out of the building. Cordelia, angry and frustrated, kicks a locker door.
"Ow�OW!" She grabs her foot, rubbing it. She sits down hard on the bench, rubbing her foot.
Stupid sluts. I'll get you, both of you. Nobody messes with me. Not and get away with it. I'll get you both! You'll both pay!
Yet, as she sits there, rubbing her throbbing foot, she can't keep back the tears of anger and hurt.
Directed mostly at herself.

* * *
"Did you see her face? I thought she was gonna have a Guernsey." Buffy laughs as they exit the gym. It takes her a second to notice Willow isn't laughing. "Hey, c'mon, it was funny."
"This is all a big joke to you, isn't it Buffy?"
"Will? What's wrong?"
"Oh god, Buffy. Let me count the ways� " She looks at Buffy and shakes her head. "You trample all over peoples lives, make general chaos, and come out clean, and you think everything's smelling like American Beauty's. Well, sorry, but it just don't work that way."
"What? What're you talking about?"
"We're not friends, Buffy. I tried to be your friend, and you spit in my face. Maybe not literally, but you did. So, thanks for back there, but no thanks." She starts walking away.
Buffy confused and hurt, follows after.
"What did I do?"
"Buffy, if you can't figure it out, I'm not gonna tell you." She stops and turns around. " Thing is, Buffy? You crapped all over me, and I don't hate you. I really don't. I just feel sorry for you. Must be hell to be you."
Turning, she walks away.
"Hey, don�t do me any favors! Fine, you want it that way, just fine. I don't need you! I don't need anyone! I � " She watches Willow's disappearing back.
"Aw, screw you! Screw you all!"
Turning the opposite way, she walks away.

4

"But� dad�"
"Buffy, I'm sorry, I'm busy right now. I explained that to you."
Buffy is sitting on her bed, staring out the window, cell phone glued to her ear. The unhappy look on her face reflects her inner turmoil.
"I need to talk to you. It's important."
"Whatever it is, Buffy, it'll have to wait. I'm in the middle of a meeting with a client. I simply don't have time to talk with you right now," Hanks sighs. "Look, as soon as I can, I'll call you back, ok? But right now, I just can't talk."
"Dad. Please?"
"I'm sorry, Buffy. I have to go."
Buffy hears the phone click. She stares at the phone , and sighs. She stares out her bedroom window, watching the shadows lengthen in the late afternoon sun. Another, huge sigh escapes her.
She turns back to the phone, and dials another number.
"Hey. Can't talk. Leave me a message."
She frowns.
Even Oz isn't around. No one to talk to. God, I hate this place. It sucks, it totally SUCKS!
Angrily, she tosses her phone across the room. It hits the wall, and Buffy hears it shatter as the pieces go flying.
Aw, Crap! Nice, Real nice. Now I gotta tell mom why I broke my phone. DAMMIT! She'll probably ground me for another month. It's not fair! None of this is FAIR! She walks over, and picks up the pieces off the floor, trying to put it back together. A hopeless cause if ever there was one. I'll tell her I dropped it. She'll make a deal about me being clumsy, but maybe she won't ground me more�
Buffy drops the pieces on the nightstand, then almost throws herself on the bed, picking up a magazine she was looking through. She flips the pages, but her mind isn't on it.
This crappy town blows. God, that bitch kicks me off the team. ME! The best one on it. God, those girls move like a herd of cows. Probably where they learned their routines, too! She snickers. God, I'm so gonna laugh when they get trashed at the Regionals. God, do they really think they'll make state? Gimme a break! With that clueless airhead leading them? They'll be lucky if they can find the regionals, much less win. Whatta joke. God, maybe it's a good thing I got booted. At least I won't get humiliated with those hicks.
Still, kinda stupid to spit in her face. Hick or not, she's still the Queen of Sunnydale high. She can so make my life � aw, who cares? God, graduation isn't that far off, and then I'm gonna blow this stupid town. If mom and the squirt wanna live in Smallville, well that's just great. But I'm getting the hell outta here�
And do what Buff? What can you do, huh? Wave pom-poms and your ass? That's really gonna help ya, especially if�
"I'm not�I'm not� I'm� just off this time. It'll come�I've been late before�" Buffy mutters to herself out loud. She crumples the magazine in her hands.
What if you are? Then what're you gonna do, huh? How're you gonna explain it when you've only been with�
SHUT UP! I'M NOT! I'M NOT �
It's this stupid place� Buffy feels the tears come to her eyes, and wipes them away savagely. They all hate me, because I'm� I'm not gonna let them get to me. None of them. Screw 'em all� I hate them all, anyway�
She sits up, back against the headboard, and draws her knees to her chest. Hugging her legs to her, she begins to rock back and forth.
I'm fine. All by myself. I don't need anyone. I'm good, fine�
I'm fine� I'm fine�

* * *

"Hey, anybody home?"
Dawn stands in the foyer, waiting for an answer. Hearing nothing, she sighs in relief.
Good. Didn't want to run into The Cheerleader from Hell, anyway. God, she's been crabby the last couple of days� last couple of days? How about, all my life?
Flinging her backpack by the stairs, Dawn makes a right, heading for the kitchen. Hitting the 'fridge, she opens it, inspecting the contents. Nope�naw� pie looks good�yeah, especially on the hips, gordo�ok� she sighs, grabbing a bottle of water. Water it is. I swear, they can like send guys into space to build a space station, but can they figure out how to make pie so it doesn't go straight to your hips? It sucks, I tell you, totally sucks!
Opening the bottle, she takes a big swig, letting out a big sigh of satisfaction. She leans against the fridge, and takes another sip, thinking about the day.
I swear, I'm sooo good. I should take it on the road. "Dawn's amazing magical act. Make your friends disappear with just a couple of words!" Nice one Dawn. Can you even spell Jerk? Why'd you go all nuclear on them, anyway?
Why'd they act like that, anyway? I was just trying to help. I mean, are they so stupid they can't see they're like totally salt and pepper shakers? I mean, different but so belong together. They've been friends forever, and they're gonna end it over She-Who-Must-Wear-Cow-Skins?
And, what about me? Think I like seeing them fighting like that? Feeling like crap when I hang out with one of them, and see the other? They think I like this? Well, they've got another think coming!
Damn it, it's not fair! Dawn launches herself off the fridge, starting to pace, waving the bottle around . I so needed to talk to someone. About this Faith and Mom thing. And I figured, I could talk to Will. But then Xander would get that hurt look, like I was betraying him to talk to Willow. So, of course, I've got to fix it, and boom, they act like 3 year olds fighting over a doll. Geeze, whatta bunch of babies.
Yeah, and I was sooo mature, blowing up like that. God. But it's their fault! They're supposed to be like nearly adults, why're they acting like babies?
And I still don't have a clue as to why Mom likes Faith like� that. God, it's just�weird� I know Willow could explain it to me, you know? I mean, she's gay and all and she knows stuff. Lots of stuff. Well, that's not gonna happen now!
Mom said that Faith makes her happy. Well, duh, you'd have to be blind not to see that. She was all happy, happy when Faith was here, and now?
And why not dad? I mean, why can't dad make her happy? Why can't they at least try again?
Dawn stops, realizing that in her little tirade, she's managed to spill water on the floor. Great, just really great.
Setting down the bottle, she grabs the mop, doing a quick clean up. Shaking her head, she puts the mop away.
Stupid. I've figured it out. People are stupid, never happy with what they got.
She looks at the bottle. Trashing it, she grabs another out of the fridge.
Why does everybody always have to change things, anyway? Why can't you be happy with what you got? People! Stupid family, stupid friends. Stupid, stupid, oh, and stupid!
I'm done with it. I'm tired of being in the middle of it all the time. They want to fight, and be stupid, let them! Me, she walks out of the kitchen, back to the foyer, I'm gonna do my homework. At least, when you do math, the square root of 16 is always four! It doesn't change. It's never like 3 or 5, just four. Why can't you be happy just being four, huh? Why do you always gotta be 5?
She bends to retrieve her pack, and an image of Xander, smiling his happy-goofy smile hits her.
Damn, but he's such a cute 5 sometimes! She pouts a little. And no more Xander kisses. Bigger pout.
Gawd! This sucks! All of it totally SUCKS!
Grabbing up her pack, she storms upstairs, tromping heavily on each tread.

* * *
Dawn is passing Buffy's room when she notices the door open a crack. She looks in to see Buffy sitting on her bed, seemingly staring out at her.
Great. She's here. Make my day!
"Hey, Buff."
"What do you want?" Buffy seems to growl at her.
"Nothing!" Dawn puts up her hands. Bite my head off, why don't you? "leaving now!"
"Yeah, get lost. I mean, if ya wanna gloat, do it on your own time, squirt."
Gloat? "Gloat? You're kidding, right? With you as a sister, I just wanna hide my head under a rag and hope they don't notice a family resemblance."
"That the best you can do, Squirt?" Buffy scrambles off the bed, coming over to Dawn. "What are you, lame? That's pathetic, you know? Come on, give it to me, Dawn. You know you wanna. You're dying to get a good one in. Go ahead, free shot!" Buffy stands in Dawn's space. "C'mon, do it. Show some guts. Take a shot!"
"God, are you psycho or what?" Dawn pushes her away. She turns to leave. "You're not worth it�"
"Don't you turn your back on ME!" Buffy reaches out, and grabs Dawn's hair, puling her back.
"OW! MY HAIR!" Dawn yells, "Let GO of my HAIR!"
She reaches out, having the longer reach, and grabs Buffy's hair. "LET GO!"
"OW! Let go of my hair!" Buffy shoves her, only managing to make it worse. "GOD, you fight like a �Girl!"
"Well, DUH! I am one!" She tugs on Buffy's hair. "Let go of me!"
"You first!"
"No, you first!"
"No, You!"
"NO,YOU!"
They stand, face to face, glaring at each other.
"On three," Buffy finally says.
"Fine."
"Fine!"
"Ok, then, on three," Dawn agrees.
"One� Two�"
Buffy gives Dawn's hair another big jerk.
"Three!"
"OW!" Dawn shoves Buffy, causing her to jerk backwards, lose her balance, and fall. Buffy sits down hard on her butt, glaring at the floor. "What the hell is wrong with you, Buffy? All I did is say hey, and you go ballistic. Are you some kind of psycho or something? What's your trauma, anyway?" She stands there, hands on hips, staring down at her older sister. "What's wrong with you?"
"Just go away, wouldya?" Buffy mutters, staring at the floor.
"Be my pleasure. GOD! You're a � " Dawn lets out a sound and turns, leaving.
"You hate me like all the rest, anyway�"
Dawn stops dead. She turns around, her face angry.
"Well, maybe they wouldn't if you didn't act so hateful!" Dawn yells at her. "All I did was say hi, and you attack me. You act like we should all fall down and kiss your lumpy ass because you happen to show up. Well, know what? I'm tired of your 'tude, sister. Real tired of you, period! Sometimes I wish you weren't my sister!"
Buffy doesn't say anything. She doesn't look at Dawn at all. But the tears start to fall silently down her face.
"Buffy, god�I didn't mean it," Dawn comes over to her. Buffy has started to shake now. "I � I was just mad, ok? I didn't mean that�"
"You're right�" Buffy lets out a small sob. "I'm a bitch. A total bitch, to everyone�"
"Buffy, hey, " Dawn gets down next to her. " you can't help being a tard�"
Buffy, despite her tears, chuckles. Then she sniffles, and more tears start falling.
"Hey, ok, not a tard. But you're� well, you're tough. Sometimes that's cool� but sometimes�"
"I'm a bitch, Dawn, and I know it�" Buffy whispers. "I hate �I� aw fuck, forget it. Just go, ok?"
"Buffy, c'mon� what's wrong?" Dawn rubs Buffy's back, trying to calm her. "What's bugging you?"
"Dawn, I�" She looks at Dawn.
For a moment, she wants to tell her. Tell her everything. Tell her what she fears. But she can't. If I tell her, it's really real. I �
"Nothing. I'm fine� just� crampy�" She gets up, shaking Dawn off. "You know�"
Dawn knows she's lying. But she can't call her on it, because Buffy will just go ballistic again.
"God, Buffy, just take a pill, ok? Quit taking it out on everyone," Dawn cracks, getting up. She tries one more time. "You sure you're ok?"
"Better than you, Squirt."
"Would you quit calling me that?" Dawn says irritably.
"Why? It's so much fun to piss you off." Buffy grins.
She's gotta be better�
"Get bent, Munchkin."
"You first, Squirt."
"Screw you, Buffy!" Dawn turns, walking out. God, why do I even bother?
"You wish, Homo!"
The door slams behind Dawn.
The fight, the energy seems to drain out of Buffy's body. Seemingly almost in a fog, her body slumped, she walks over to the bed, and sits on the edge, hands gripped together, held in her lap.
She doesn't even seem to notice the room getting darker, as the sun goes down. She just sits, staring at the floor.
Now what?

5
Faith roars down the small suburban street, visor up, enjoying the feel of the wind on her face. She smiles, one with the machine, feeling the rumble and roar of the bike between her legs. Man, this is what it's all about�
She guides the Sportster into the driveway of a nice suburban two story, parking it next to the large black truck belonging to the owners of the house. She hops off, making her way towards the stairs leading up to the tiny apartment built over the garage.
She's running a little behind this late Wednesday afternoon, and she has to change before going to work at the University. Stupid professor. I swear he's in love with the sound of his voice. Couldn't finish on time, no sir! Never mind he assigned a paper�30 pages� due in two weeks. God, what does he think? I don't got a life outside his class�
"Faith? Is that you? I need to see you!"
Ah man! Now what? I'm so gonna be late for work�
Faith turns just in time to see Mrs. Antonia Carval turn the corner of the garage.
"Heya, Mrs. C. What's up? Running a little late�"
"Faith McKerrigan!" Antonia huffs, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. "When am I going to get you to call me Tonia like everyone else? I'm not that old, girl!"
No one would mistake Antonia Carval for a petite woman. Standing 5 foot, 9 inches, and weighing around 175, she is a solidly built woman. However, despite her size, she has an innate grace, and broad, round pleasant face graced usually by a beaming smile. It's an honest face, one defined by character and determination, one that's seen a lot in its day. Faith took an immediate liking to Mrs. Carval; she reminds her a lot of the women on the block she grew up with.
"Sorry, Mrs. C. Just where I grew up, we were a little more formal, ya know? Or if we weren't, we'd get a slap up side the head."
Antonia laughs empathetically. "Oh I know that one. My mom was the same way." Antonia gets a stern expression. "Tonia Romero, you watch that mouth, young lady! You show respect for your elders�" Antonia laughs. "She was a tough one, my mom."
Faith grins, looking at Mrs. Carval. Yeah, and I bet if I asked your kids, they'd say the same thing�
"So, ummm� if you can excuse me, I gotta get changed for work. Don't want the chief getting angry cuz I'm late�"
"I wouldn't worry too much, Faith. My baby brother George is quite impressed by you. Thinks you're tough and smart. I don't think he'll be too upset if you�re a few minutes late�"
"Still�" Faith shrugs.
"Don't worry, honey. I won't keep you long. I just wanted to let you know some packages arrived for you today�"
"Oh?" Faith thinks for a moment, puzzled. Then she remembers what they are, and a little crease comes into her forehead. "Oh yeah. Right. The stuff from Boston, right?"
"Yes," Antonia looks at her, noting her expression. She doesn't seem all that happy about it.
"Well, I'll get them later. Right now, kinda �"
"I know, dear, you're late," Antonia nods. "No need to collect them. I put them upstairs in your room already." She looks at Faith directly. "I hope you don't mind?"
"No, thanks, that was nice of you, Mrs. C� er�Tonia," Faith smiles.
"So, some stuff from home then?" Antonia inquires, curious as hell but too polite to come out and ask.
"Yeah, just some� stuff a friend was holding for me. Said she was tired of having my stuff in the way, so she sent it along�" Faith makes a face. "She can be a real jerk sometimes�"
"People," Antonia shrugs, "you can't live with them, and you can't shoot them. Whattya do?"
Faith can't help but laughing a little at that.
"Yeah, well, I guess I was kind of a jerk too�" She admits. "But she was a bigger jerk. Not like it was really in the way that much�"
"Well, I wouldn't be too hard on her, honey," Antonia chides her gently. "Maybe she needed the room for something else�"
Yeah, probably her new girlfriend�
"Well, thanks, Mrs. C," Faith changes the subject, not wanting to talk about Tina anymore. "I'll just �" She gestures upstairs.
"Right. Oh, yes, one more thing�" She hands Faith an envelope. "This came in the mail for you today, too."
Faith looks at the envelope, and sighs. She folds it, and slips it in her jacket pocket. "Hey, thanks again, Mrs. C. I�I'll see you later. Gotta get going."
"Sure, Faith. No problem," Antonia says quietly. "Oh, and if you see that brother of mine? Tell him I expect him a Sunday dinner 4 pm sharp, ok?" She crosses her arms over her chest. "And you too, young lady. No more excuses, hear me? I want you to meet the rest of the family."
"Ok, ok," Faith puts up her hands in surrender. "I'll be there�seeya later, Mrs. C." She turns, and trots upstairs, disappearing through her apartment door.
Antonia stands there for a moment, looking up the stairs.
Mystery girl. Hiding something, I see. I wonder what it is?
Antonia turns, heading back towards the house. Well, we'll just have to find out, I reckon.
Chief Romero wasn't the only investigator in his family, it seems.

* * *
Faith stands in her bedroom/living room/ kitchenette one room flat, staring at the packages leaning up against the wall nearest the doorway. One is long and narrow, the other squarish. Both are wrapped in brown paper, bearing shipping labels. That really doesn't matter, because she knows what's in them.
She walks over, and picks up the tall one, rubbing her hand over it, feeling the wooden frame underneath the paper. She smiles, remember how excited she was that day in the Museum locker room, the day Joyce brought them for her. Her first real artist tools, a beautiful oak easel and professional set of paints and the rest. It had touched her so deeply, that Joyce had thought that much of her, cared that much.
Faith feels the tears forming in her eyes, and leans the package back against the wall. Letting go of it doesn't stop the ache, or the memories. It doesn't stop how she feels, or how much she misses Joyce.
She reaches out again, almost hesitantly, as if afraid to touch the package. Just as the tips of her fingers are about to brush over it, she jerks her hand back, almost violently.
"I don't got time for this crap. Gotta get to work."
Turning on her heel, she heads for the bathroom.

* * *
"� so anyway, to clinch the deal, I need to meet with the client on Friday night. It's only a business dinner, so I'll only be gone a few hours�"
Joyce looks across the table for a reaction. Did they buy that? She notices neither girl seems to be paying much attention. Nor are they eating. Mostly, they're using their forks to move their food around their plates, making dinner into some new kind of food art.
"Well?" She finally asks, just trying to get something going here.
"So?" Buffy says, shrugging, not looking up. "Not like it's the first time."
"Whatever, mom," Dawn flashes a look at Buffy, then turns back to her plate, swirling her veggies into her potatoes.
Well, I see it's dinner with the grumpy twins again. Now what happened? Well, at least it's better than screaming, I guess.
"Ok, then," Joyce plows on, ignoring the lack of enthusiasm. "I guess I'll have Mrs. Blankenship from next door come over and keep you company�"
"What?" Buffy looks up sharply. "Mrs. Blankenship? Oh god�"
"Her of the endless stories of her one trip to Vera Cruz, and the empanadas? She's � creepy, mom."
"Dawn, that's not very nice at all," Joyce frowns, shaking her head, "Pat's been a very nice neighbor�"
"Well, it's true," Dawn insists. "No one's that cheery all the time. It's weird."
"God, why do we need a babysitter, anyway? I'm way too old for that�" Buffy makes a face.
"Hey, me too�"
"Dunno, Squirt. Looks like you need your diapers changed�"
"Drop dead, munchkin�"
"Enough! I see you two still haven't learned your lesson�" Joyce feels her mouth tightening.
"Aw, mom�" Dawn complains.
"I promise. I won't run away from home while your out on your date�" Buffy raises her hand. "Scout's honor."
"It's not a date, I told you that. It's a business dinner." Joyce gives her daughter a look for the sarcasm. "And you, young lady, haven't exactly proven you're all that reliable�"
Buffy makes a noise, waving her hand.
"Well, I am. Maybe we could lock her in the basement, then we wouldn't need�" Dawn catches Joyce's look. "Ok, just saying� still, why does it have to be Mrs. Blankenship. She gives me the heebie-jeebies�"
"Watching "Bambi" gave you the heebie-jeebies, squirt�"
"Well, they killed her mother� and the forest fire�"
"Wimp," Buffy mutters.
"Hag," Dawn rejoins.
"Ok, I need any more reason not to leave you two alone? You'd probably make the house look like a tornado ran through it�"
"But why Pat?" Buffy gets a sour look on her face. "I mean, c'mon. If I hear one more story of Vera Cruz, I'm gonna barf�"
"Buffy Summers!" Joyce gives her the best Pissed off Mom look. "Anyway, there's no one else I can get on this short notice�"
"What about dad?" Buffy asks, arching a brow.
"Yeah, what about dad?" Dawn pipes up. "He could watch us."
"Your father's a busy man," Joyce says, "I already asked him. He can't do it." Nice lie there, Joyce. Almost convinced me!
"Yeah, sure," Buffy says, going back to plate art, "whatever."
Joyce's mom radar kicks in. That was too easy�
"What about Faith?" Dawn asks.
"Honey, I'm sure Faith is busy � too busy to come over and stay with you guys. I mean, she's back in school now and with work and studying�"
"Brilliant idea there, squirt. Unlike you, Faith's got a life, you know? Pretty sure she doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of losers like us. Not now that she don't gotta�"
"What do you mean? She's a friend�"
"Gimme a break, moron. She's gonna pal around with a couple of teenagers? Yeah, sure, dumb ass. She only did it before cuz she got a break on the rent�"
"Yeah? Well, you don't know everything, Buffy�"

"Dawn, Buffy. That's enough. Faith isn't available."
"How do you know? Did you even ask?" Dawn crosses her arms over her chest. "You could at least ask, you know."
"Oh, who cares?" Buffy lets her fork clatter in her plate. "Can I be excused?"
Joyce looks at Buffy's plate, frowning. "you could eat your dinner�"
"Not hungry," Buffy says, voice low. "got stuff to do. Homework stuff."
"Mom, are you going to ask her?"
"Dawn, not now, ok?" She turns to Buffy. "Eat some dinner. Then you can be excused."
"I'm not hungry�"
"Buffy, I've had enough. Eat something�"
Buffy stares at her mother, then grabs her spoon. She starts shoveling food into her mouth until her cheeks are puffed out.
"There, happy?" She mumbles around her swollen cheeks. She stares defiantly at Joyce.
"God, you're such a pig, Buffy." Dawn shakes her head.
Joyce lets her fork drop noisily on her plate. She has a disgusted look on her face.

"Just go, Buffy," She says, waving her hand. "Go on, you wanted to go."
"Thanks," Buffy stands up.
"No, thank you, Buffy, for ruining another dinner." Joyce says, angrily. "Can't we have one dinner around here without a temper tantrum from you?"
Buffy, mouth stuffed, doesn't reply.
Joyce can see the cold anger in her eyes, however.
Buffy turns, and runs upstairs. A few seconds later, predictably, a door slams.
Joyce sighs, putting her head in her hands.
"Mom�"
"Dawn, please. Don't ask about Faith again, ok? I really don't need that right now, too."
Joyce doesn't look up when she hears Dawn's silver clatters on her plate, or when her chair scrapes across the floor.
Dawn gets up, and just walks away, her chin firmly set. She stops at the doorway.
"I was gonna ask if you're ok, but whatever. Do whatever you want, I really don't care."
A tromping on the stairs, followed by another door slamming upstairs only makes Joyce sigh. She feels her stomach churn acid.
One quiet dinner, with everyone not having a major crisis? Is that too much to ask?
She stands up, starting to clear the table from dinner.
You know what? I should rent my daughters out to the weight challenged. A couple of months with them in the house, and I can guarantee they'd lose the pounds�
She fills the sink with water, and starts washing the dishes.
God, if I could only get on the radar here. Figure out what's going through their minds. Why are they so mad at each other? It just doesn't make sense. If only they'd talk to me�
Joyce starts to rinse off the plates when a thought strikes her. Putting the plate in the drainer, she grabs the dishtowel, and wipes her hands.
It's perfect. They won't talk to me, but maybe they'd talk to her� then I could ask her what's going on� yeah, if she'll go for it. If she'll even talk to me� Ok, stupid idea. Forget that one�
She turns back to the sink, and finishes the dishes. But the idea of Faith talking to the girls, getting them to open up, won't leave her mind.
Wiping the last dish, she puts it in the cupboard, and drying her hands, leaves the kitchen.
Maybe if I put it the right way to her. Maybe I can convince her to do it. I mean, I know she cares about the girls�
She picks up the phone off the wall.
Oh well, what can she do but say no, anyway?
Shrugging, she dials a number.

* * *

"Damn!"
Faith slams the book closed, and stares out into space.
It's a quiet night at the dispatch; Wednesdays are mostly quiet. She'd planned to catch up on her studying. Ergo the books, and the outliners and other studying accessories she brought to work.
That was the plan anyway. But as too often happens, the best laid plans often go astray.
In this case, it's the fact that she can't get beyond the first page.
She looks at it. She reads it. But it must be written in a foreign language, because she can't seem to make any sense of it. She stares at it, and then starts again. More reading. More not making sense.
Ok, this is just stupid. I can do this. Open the book, and read the pages. God, it's in English. You speak it. You read it. So, do it!
Letting out an exasperated breath, she opens the book, leaning her face on her palm as she tries to read the page again.
A few minutes later, she closes the book, giving up.
Maybe she's tired. Working, studying, and going to school? Not easy for anyone. She's taken on a lot.
Maybe the subject bores her. Ok, I mean, how thrilling can Events in Modern Western Europe really be? Maybe that's why she can't focus on the page.
Or maybe, it's because her mind keeps going back to her apartment. To the packages she received. Knowing what they are, who gave them to her? Doesn't really help.
Maybe it's because she can't get her mind off of Joyce. What happened, why they're apart, any of it.
Maybe, just maybe, she's missing Joyce. A lot.
Ok, I was right. This is stupid! It's not going to work. Faith slams the book closed again. God, things were going so good. Why did that crap have to show up today? I don't need this� this all the time wondering and � shit, why am I doing this? Pretty clear, she doesn't care. Right?
No, not right. She wasn't the one that left, was she? I left. But I had to leave. I just couldn't take that anymore. I can't take this not knowing if it's real or not real or gonna be something or just a fling or do I even MATTER to her or not? God, it's making me crazy, and I don't need crazy!
Who am I kidding here? I mean, if she cared, she call, right?
And she nearly jumps out of her skin when her cell phone goes off. She looks at the ID, and nearly has a cow.
Ok, that's just�
"Joyce?" Faith's voice cracks a little. Oh nice one, Faith. Show your cool there!
"Faith?" Joyce's voice sounds strange, a little distant and strained.
"Uh, yeah. It's my number you dialed. Were you expecting someone else?"
"No, no� just, you sounded strange� you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Peaches, Joyce, just peaches."
"Oh." Joyce hesitates. "Well, that's good, right? How's school?" How's school? You asked how's school? How dumb is that one, Joyce?
"Fine," Faith answers, " Uhhh� was there a point to this call, Joyce? Or �?"
"Yes, of course," Joyce recovers, " I � ummm� look, I need to talk to you about something�"
"Geeze, Joyce, kinda busy here. You know, working and all." She looks around at the decidedly un-busy call board. "Really don't have time to chat."
"You're working? Oh, right, sorry, of course. Look� I do need to talk to you about something, and well�I found some of your stuff over here. Thought you might want it. So, maybe�" She hesitates a little,"� maybe you could drop by the Gallery, pick it up? And we could talk?"
Faith is somewhat wary, considering how well their last conversation at the Gallery went.
"Dunno, Joyce. Kinda busy like I said, with school and working and studying so I don't mess it all up. Couldn't I like drop by the house sometime� like when you're NOT there!!! � and pick that stuff up?"
There's a pause on the other side of the conversation.
"Please, Faith, I do need to talk to you about something�it's important�"
Faith feels a knot in her stomach. Despite her protests, she wants to see Joyce. She's just afraid of the results. She licks her now dry lips.
I'm gonna regret this. It's going to blow up in my face, and I'm gonna �
"All right, whatever. I'll� I'll find some time�"
"Tomorrow?"
"Joyce!!"
"Please, Faith?"
Faith sighs. Just get it over with!!!
"Yeah, ok, tomorrow. Afternoon. Sometime�"
"Thanks, Faith. Really." There's a pause. "Are you ok?"
"You're kidding, right? Ok? That's really an odd question, Joyce�" Her voice gets a little cold.
"I'm� sorry, I didn't mean� I'm screwing this all up," Joyce says plaintively. "I just meant� I know money's tight and � well, you sound �" She trails off.
"I'm fine Joyce, really," Faith says with no conviction.
"I miss you�" Joyce finally says what she really wants to say.
"I miss you too, Joyce." Faith pauses, as her heart beats hard in her chest. "But that doesn't change things�"
"I know. I had to say it� because I do miss you�"
Faith feels her heart twist.
"I gotta go, Joyce. Really busy right now. Gotta�"
"Of course, sorry. Tomorrow then?"
"Yeah. Tomorrow. Bye."
"Good�" Joyce's voice is cut off when Faith snaps shut the phone.
Faith sits there, feeling the anger and hurt and loneliness well up in her like a dark cloud. She almost throws her phone into the wall, she's so angry.
Instead, she just stares into space, brooding.

Joyce holds the phone in her hand, staring at it. Her thumb caresses over the handset, almost as if it were Faith's cheeks.
She just wishes her heart would stop beating so hard in her chest.
Right now, she just wishes it would stop beating, period. Life doesn't look all that good at the moment.
Sighing, she puts the phone down, and crosses through the dining room into to the living room. She plops down on the couch.
I can't. I can't do this anymore. How am I supposed to take this?
She covers her face with her hands as the tears start to roll down her cheeks.

6

"Well, it's better than a sharp stick in the eye, I guess."
Buffy surveys her kingdom, a small isolated corner away from the rest of the geeks and freaks in the quad area. Even they won't talk to me, she thinks as she brushes away the leaves and debris off the small stone bench.
It's Thursday, another new day in the life of Buffy in Hell that now exists in Sunnydale. And hell it's been.
All day, everyone has pointedly ignored her, moving off if she approached, or pretending to 'notice' her to just snub her as soon as was humanly possible. A silence descended over any conversation she tried to join, and the whispers after she moved on just confirmed what she already knew.
She is persona non grata anywhere she goes. Cordelia has struck back, hard.
Even gym, which she usually liked, was a total suck fest. More whispers as she went to her locker and opened it, to see two Barbie dolls bound together in a sixty nine position. One red headed, the other blonde. The message was obvious.
On top of everything else, she was branded as the school's newest gay student, obviously having a 'secret' affair with a certain red-headed senior. Gotta be the Queen. I mean, who else could get access to my locker? Never mind that I'm straight, and she knows it. Never mind Willow won't even talk to me, much less date me. God, can it get worse?
It did, when she went out on the field. No one would stand next to her. No one would talk to her. No one would pick her for the team. The coach, finally taking pity on her, just put her by herself, letting her sit out the class.
And of course, when she got to her locker to store her books for lunch, it had been freshly painted with the word "DYKE" in bold red letters screaming out her new status.
Even they won't talk to me, Buffy thinks, looking over to where the 'gay' contingent is sitting, chatting away. She hadn't even approached them, but she could feel the stares from across the quad.
Sitting down, she balances the tray on her knees, staring at the substances in each little compartment passing at food. God, you'd think they could at least make it look like food� she grumbles to herself, passing her fork over various items, not exactly wanting to start.
"Hey."
Buffy looks up to see Oz, tray in hand, standing in front of her. It's as if a switch has been thrown. Her face lights up with a large smile.
"Hey, yourself," She says, then she frowns. "Oh. Maybe you don't want to be seen with me right now? I mean, according to current rumor, I'm a lesbian, you know. Might ruin your rep."
"As what?" Oz shrugs nonchalantly, "So, can I sit?"
"Sure," Buffy quickly scoots over, making room.
Oz sits next to her, and stares at his tray. "Got a clue as to what the green stuff is?" He looks puzzled.
Buffy looks at it, equally clueless. "Not sure. I was hoping for maybe spinach or kale or something. But you never know. It might be last week's mystery meat." She shrugs. "They put a man on the moon. You'd think they could at least make it look like food."
"There's a rumor, you know."
"What?"
"The whole man on the moon thing? Shot on a secret soundstage in Hollywood."
"What? That's crazy!" Buffy protests. She looks at him. "You don't believe that, do you?" She looks a little worried. "Do you?"
"No, I was kidding," Oz says, taking a bite of food.
"Oh. It's kind of hard to tell with you."
"I've heard that," Oz nods, chewing.
Buffy, lunch forgotten, stares at him. Oz continues to eat, seemingly oblivious. He finally looks up, arching a brow.
"What?"
"It's just�doesn't anything ever bother you?"
"Sure. Lots of stuff," Oz said, returning to his lunch.
"You never seem to be�well, passionate� about anything," Buffy presses.
"I get over it," He shrugs his non commitment, "or I do something about it."
"Oh? Like what?"
Oz shrugs. "Like now."
"Huh?"
"Well, kinda saw how everyone is treating you. Know it's Cordelia doing it. I mean, no one else can generate the fear she can, so that's why everyone is toeing the line. Cuz they know they'll be where you are if they talk to you or stuff. Not everyone hates you, Buffy. Most don't even know you. But everyone knows Queen C. So they avoid you. I don't. Cuz I like you. You're cool. Kinda dumb sometimes, but mostly cool."
Buffy turns away from Oz, wanting to cry so badly she has to bite her lip to keep from tearing up. She feels his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, it's no big, really."
"It's a huge big," Buffy snips, turning back. "I know what a bitch Cordelia is, cuz I � I guess I'm just like her. I used to be her, back in L.A. I didn't realize �" She looks down, feeling stupid. "I'm a total idiot."
"Naw, you're not. You figured it out. Some never get it." He smiles a rare smile. "Like I said, you're cool."
"Thanks," Buffy turns and surreptitiously daubs her eyes. She doesn't want to have cry face. Not gonna give them the satisfaction. "No wonder Willow likes you. You're sweet."
"Really?" Oz seems surprised. It's hard to tell. "No one's ever said that to me before." He thinks about it. "Weird, huh?"
"Oh yeah, definitely." Buffy seems to fall into Oz's speech pattern. She stares down at her untouched lunch.
"You should eat something. It's not good not to eat."
Buffy looks up sharply to see Willow standing next to her, holding a tray.
"Room for one more?" Willow asks Buffy. "Oh� maybe you guys want to be alone?" She cocks her head, smiling.
"No, sit," Buffy says, scooting over. She looks at Oz. " Do we?"
"Naw, always good to get the daily dose of Willow," He smiles up at Willow. "Sit, please."
Willow sits, like Buffy balancing her tray on her lap. She turns to Buffy.
"So, I hear a rumor you've gone gay. And I did it to you."
Buffy blushes pink, and looks down.
"I� I never� I mean, it's cool, but �" She gulps, not sure what to say. "You're not like mad at me?"
"Relax, wouldya Buff?" Willow pats her knee. "I over it, ok? I know it's not your fault, not really. And, as for the other? I know Cordelia started that one, too." She chuckles, "I mean, you, gay? Give me a break, ok? Even the thought of it gives you a major breakdown�"
"No� I mean� I'm not� but�" Buffy sighs. "Look, Willow, I'm sorry. About a lot of stuff. Especially how I've treated you. I mean, you've been real� and I was a jerk, ok?" She turns, looking at Willow. "If I were like gay, I'd want you to be my girlfriend, you know?"
"Buffy, that's so sweet," Willow grins, taking a bite of her roll." But you better stop flirting with me, or Oz is gonna start fighting with me over you." She tosses a glance at Oz, who seems to lose his native cool for a second, coloring madly. "I think he's sweet on you."
"Really?" She says, looking at Oz, catching the blush. "How can you tell?"
"Oh, I dunno," Willow says, playing the game with Buffy, to Oz's discomfort. "I mean, the boy won't shut up about you. Goes on and on how cool you are and everything." She leans in, conspiratorially. "Wanted to know if you had a boyfriend."
"That so? Oz? Him? Talking about me?" Buffy acts shocked. "Mr. Conversation is like having a root canal Oz? Wow!"
"Oh yeah, he must've gone on for� seconds."
Both girls burst out laughing. Oz sits back, trying to salvage his cool.
"I was so overwhelmed at his passion�" Willow chortles. "I just had to come over here myself, to meet this Paragon of Buffyness�"
And just as suddenly, she stops laughing.
"And also, to apologize to you."
"What?" Buffy is floored. "Apologize? That's crazy. It's all my fault, Will. Really, I'm the one who should be apologizing here. I should be on my knees, kissing your feet�"
"Buffy, as appealing as that sounds," Willow teases, " It's not your fault. I knew what I was doing, and what I was risking. I knew her� but I didn't want to know her. I wanted to know the her I saw once that just �." Willow sighs, shoulder slumping. "She's not always like�ah, it's hard to explain. But I knew it was gonna get out someway. I guess I was hoping Xander wouldn't get so upset. But he had a right to. He was right�"
"I was right? Wow, I never expected to hear that one."
Three heads turn sharply left to see Xander Harris standing a bit apart, looking strangely awkward and proud at the same time. He's looking at the group with a touch of longing.
"Xander!"
"I'd ask to sit down, but the bench looks pretty full." He grins, licking his lips nervously.
"Right. Buffy. Didn't we have that thing we had to do?" Oz stands, tugging on Buffy's sleeve.
"Yeah, right. Thing. We got that thing." Buffy quickly stands, linking arms with Oz. "We gotta go. Sorry. Now."
Almost stumbling over each other, they beat a hasty retreat.
"They're not real good with the subtle, are they?" Xander says, watching them go.
"They're new. Give them time." Willow adds in. She turns and looks at Xander, who's still standing a bit apart. "Xander�"
"No, Will, please. Let me talk, ok? For once?" He holds up his hands, stopping her.
"Ok," Willow subsides, hands in lap.
"See, here's the deal, Will. I got this friend. I really like her a lot, you know? She's a real sweet girl. God, I've known her forever, I think. At least back to play group, where she broke the yellow crayon, and was afraid to tell anyone, cuz she figured she be in trouble�" He starts pacing back and forth in front of Willow.
"Yeah, I remember that," Willow says softly. "You said you did it, to �"
"Will, please? My story, ok?"
"Sorry."
Xander lets out a sigh. "Thing is, since that day, I knew we'd be like this�" he holds up his fingers, crossed over each other. "She's the sweetest, kindest, prettiest girl I've ever known. I even had a crush on her a couple of times, but I couldn't tell her�"
Willow looks up sharply. That was a new one.
"� but she's like, gay, you know? So no chance for that� but still, she means a lot to me� a whole lot."
"Xander�"
"Will, please, you promised," Xander stops, looking at her. "Thing is, this girl? I dunno, she's got this major league thing for this other girl. That's cool, I mean, it would be, if the other girl gave a crap about her. But far as I can see, she doesn't. She just uses her. Uses her, breaks her heart, and my friend can't seem to get enough of her�"
"Xander� please�"
Xander just looks at her. Willow subsides again.
"I really, really hate what it does to her. She thinks� at least, I think she thinks, she deserves that kind of crap. But I don't see it that way, you see? But she keeps going back to get more� so I gotta figure that's what she feels. And I can't stand it, because I know she deserves better. A lot better. It really kills me to see her do that to herself."
Willow just looks at him.
" But you know what's worse? I mean, what's really worse than that?"
Willow just stares at him.
"You can ask."
"What?"
"It's when her friend, her jerk wad of a friend, deserts her when she needs him most, you know? I think he's a real prick, because how many times has she been there for him, and he's been put back together by her, huh? I'm meaning me, here, Will. I'm a total asshole, acting like I did. And, well, I know she needs me. That she needs someone to talk to. But I�I just don't know how to fix it, you know? Cuz, frankly, I can't see my life without her in it, somehow, and well�"
Xander kneels beside her, looking up at her.
"You're my best friend, Willow Rosenberg. And your smart and � you know stuff. Lots of stuff. So, what should I do?" Xander smiles up at her, "I really care about her, but I don't know how to say I'm sorry I was a total butthead, you know? I really need to make this right, do the right thing here. So, what should I do? Think maybe she could forgive me? Maybe we could be friends again? What should I do?"
Willow sits there, looking at him. There's a long pause.
"You know what I think, Xander Harris?" Her eyes suddenly get very, very bright. "I think you're probably the sweetest butthead I ever knew. C'mere you!" She grabs him, hugging him close. Tears roll freely down her cheeks, and she doesn't even care. "I missed you so much."
"Not as much as I missed you�" Xander says, doing his best to choke back a sob.
"Is that a sob? Did you just sob?" Willow pushes him away, looking at his face. "you're crying. I can't believe it. Mr. Macho Harris, crying?"
Xander shrugs, wiping away a couple of tears. "Sorry."
"You better not be!" Willow takes him into another monster hug. "God, why couldn't you be born a woman? I could so go for you." She kisses his ear, the only part of his head not buried in her shoulder.
"Yeah, but with my luck? I'd be born straight�" Xander shrugs. He thinks about that. "Eeew. I get it now."
Willow laughs at him. "Pretty frightening image don't ya think? Still, this is the closest to wishing I was straight." She ruffles his hair.
"Well, we could, and if you don't like it�"
"Xander!"
"Ok, I had to try though, didn't I?"
"Yeah you did," Willow agrees, wiping her eyes. "better not stop, either. Even if I look like a raccoon at the moment." She stands up. "C'mon, better get fixed up before class. Hate to go with the extreme Goth look all day�"
"Hey, you're beautiful."
"Flatterer." She punches his arm.
"Ow!" He rubs his arm. "Lesbo!"
"Neanderthal!"
"Rug muncher!"
They head towards the school.
"Butthead!"

7

Faith pulls her bike into one of the parallel parking spaces in front of the gallery, killing the engine and hopping off quickly.
She is not happy to be here, and just wants to get this over with quickly. Dressed in her black leather jacket, jeans and boots, she strides quickly towards the front door, muttering to herself.
"Whatever she had to say to me, she coulda said it on the phone. Why did I have to drag my ass out here, anyway?"
She is so intent on moving forward, she doesn't see the dark haired young woman standing in the doorway of the gallery, arms crossed over her chest, until she almost runs into her.
"Excuse me," Faith says, coming to a sudden stop. "Are you gonna move, or what? I gotta get inside."
"I don't think so." Taylor doesn't move an inch.
"You don't think so?" Faith cocks her head. "You don't think so�what?"
"I'm not moving, and you're not going inside."
"Izzat a fact? That's funny, cuz the owner of the gallery asked me to drop by. I'm her friend, so if you don't mind�" Faith feels her irritation rising.
"That's just it. I do mind, and I know who you are, Faith. And I don�t care if Joyce invited you or not. I'm not letting you go in there."
"Really? You and who else?" Faith approaches her. "Listen to me. Unless you bought the place from Joyce since� oh, yesterday, you got no legal right to keep me out. She asked me to be here, and I'm going in."
Faith reaches out to move her out of the way. Taylor raises what looks like a pistol with the barrel sawed off, and to long prongs welded in its place. She touches the trigger, and an arc of electricity jumps between the prongs.
"Back off. Know what this is?" Taylor thrusts it at Faith, who backs off in a hurry.
"Shit. Get that thing away from me. Yeah I know what it is. Jesus!" Faith backs a step. "What the hell is your problem?"
"My problem?" Taylor almost spits the words at her. "You're my problem, bitch. You're not going in there and ruining Joyce's life again!"
"Ruin her life? What the hell? God, believe me, it wasn't my idea to be here. You got a problem with it, take it up with your boss. I'm only here cuz she asked me to come."
"Yeah, well, I don't believe it. And even if that's the truth, which I doubt, it's because she doesn't know what she's doing!"
"Excuse me?" Faith, despite the Taser being waved at her, leans in a little. "Who made you her guardian? Joyce is an adult, she can figure this stuff out without your help."
"Not when it comes to you. She's got a blind spot the size of the Pacific Ocean when it comes to you! She's nuts about you, and she's been a wreck ever since you walked out on her. God, what are you, anyway? Are you just playing her?" Taylor advances, waving the Taser around . "That's it, isn't it? You don't give a damn about her, you're just using her. She's a strong, successful woman with a good business, and your seeing an easy ride. What happened? She figure you out? Or you just get tired of her? Don't really care, one way or another, cuz I'm not gonna stand by and watch you waltz in there and trample all over her again!"
She starts poking the Taser at Faith like a trainer poking a stick at a caged lion.
"Now get your skanky, jean covered ass back on that bike and get outta here, or so help me, I'm gonna use this thing on you and call the police. Get them to kick you outta town."
"Jesus, chill. God, I'm going," Faith puts up her hands, backing off. "Geeze, maybe you want go back on the meds. Whatta loon!"
"Taylor, where have you been, I've been�" Joyce exits the shop and walks right into the scene. "What the hell is going on out here?" She sees Faith standing by the edge of the curb, hands up, and Taylor poking at her with the Taser. "TAYLOR! STOP IT! What are you doing? That's Faith for god's sake!" She walks over, and grabbing her wrist, wrests the Taser out of Taylor's hand. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I know who that is, Joyce," Taylor says, face flushed. "I'm getting rid of a pest." She glares at Faith, who now that the Taser is safely not in the psycho's hands, is rather amused. "What're you grinning at?"
"You, you loon." Faith says, lowering her hands. "Now that we're back on even ground, I should come over there and pound your face into the ground�" Instead, she just turns away from Taylor, looking at Joyce. "Except I don't beat up on the terminally stupid."
"That's enough, Faith," Joyce says, then looks at Taylor. "As for you, young lady, I don't know what possessed you to pull this stunt, and I don't care. I think you better go in and collect up your stuff and leave."
"Joyce, don't listen to her!" Taylor moves towards Joyce. "She's bad news. I told you that, and I'm telling you that again. She's just using you, can't you see that? God, you don't have to settle for �" she looks at Faith with a sour face."� her kind."
" My kind?" Faith gets her Irish up. "Exactly what's that supposed to mean, girl?" Faith starts advancing on the girl.
But Taylor, amazingly, doesn't back down. She stands her ground.
"You know exactly what it means, bimbo! Joyce can do light years better than some east coast white trash�"
"Oh, you're looking for it you little�"

"Faith, please. Calm down!" Joyce puts a restraining hand on Faith's arm. She turns to Taylor, her face flushed. "As for you, young lady. Get your butt in that gallery, now and don't let me see you do anything but pack up your things."
"But Joyce, she's just using you, don't you see that�.?"
" TAYLOR!! GO NOW!!!" Joyce yells at her, furious.
Taylor looks as if she's been punched in the stomach. She flushes red, and pressing her lips into a hard, narrow line, turns and bursts through the front door, tromping away across the gallery.
Joyce stands there, stunned. She's never seen Taylor do anything like that before. Turning to Faith, she starts to apologize when she hears Faith burst out laughing.
"What the� what do you find so funny?" She's as stunned by Faith's reaction as she is by Taylor's actions.
"My god, she's a fiery girl, aint she?" Faith laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. "Gutsy too� and smart. Probably figured I could deck her, so she brings that�" She points at the Taser still clutched in Joyce's hand "� to even things up. Gotta admire that spirit."
"Are you as crazy as she is? She nearly attacked you, Faith. She's so fired I can't even think how much�"
"You're going to fire her? God, don't do that!"
"Ok, now I know your crazy� "
"Joyce, listen to me�" Faith sobers up, suppressing the laughter. "I'm not saying I think she's right. She's way off base, but you can't buy the kind of loyalty that girl just showed you."
"Ok, did I just step into a Lewis Carroll story or something? She attacks you like a crazy woman, and you're standing here, defending her?"
"Don't you get it, Joyce? She just went to the wall for you. Do you got any idea how rare that is? She risked everything, including her job and your friendship, to protect you. Ok, she's got some really strange ideas about me, and I don't want to know where she got them� but god, I gotta admire that girl's guts. She's a rare one, Joyce, and a keeper."
"The only thing that girl's going to be keeping is a place in the unemployment line. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior. What if she did that to a client?"
"Has she ever done anything like that to a client?"
"No, of course not. I would've fired her on the spot. Like now!"
"Well, if you do, you're making a big mistake. I'm not a client, Joyce. I'm someone, who in her view, attacked someone she cares a lot about. She really must admire you, Joyce, to do something insane like that. God, I'd give anything to have someone who cared that much about me!"
A ton of guilt drops on Joyce. Oh my god�
"I can't just let her get away with that, Faith�" Joyce covers.
"No, you can't," Faith says quietly, seeing the look on Joyce's face. "You gotta go in there, put the fear of God in her so she never pulls something like that again, but don't fire her, Joyce. She's obviously loyal to the bone to you."
"I don't know�" Joyce says, shaking her head. "I'll think about it�"
"Well, it's your choice. Just puttin' in my two cents."
They stand there for a few beats, and an awkward silence develops between them.
"Uhhh� maybe we should go inside. We can go to my office�"
"No thanks. Don't think I wanna be in the same building that little hurricane is in�" Faith crosses her arms over her chest. "So, what did you want to talk to me about, anyway?"
"Look, Faith. Taylor won't make any more trouble, I promise. I just would prefer to do this inside. I'd be more comfortable in there�"
"Yeah, well, it's what you say is important, Joyce. Not where you say it. You can tell me what you got to tell me right here."
God, you're a stubborn, mule-headed�
"Ok, we'll talk here," Joyce says, obviously not pleased. "It's about the girls�"
"The girls?" Faith frowns, "What have they got to do with anything?"
"Can I finish, please?" Joyce asks, annoyed.
"Go ahead," Faith shrugs.
"They were suspended from school a few days last week�"
"You told me that, remember?"
"Yes, of course," Joyce had forgotten about the car incident. "Thing is, it was for fighting � with each other. And they're still fighting� I mean, they fought before, but never like this. They barely talk to each other, and when they do it's all snippy and sarcastic. I don't know what to do�"
"Did you talk to them? Try to suss it out?"
"Of course I did. It seems like a thousand times, but both shut up tighter than clams, and I can't get a straight answer out of either of them. I just wish I knew what it was about, so I could help them. It might be about Hank or �" She sees Faith's sour face. "� I don't know what, but whatever it is, it's serious� and I'm at my wit's end."
"Joyce, I'm sorry to hear that," Faith voice softens a hair, "but I really don't gotta clue why your telling me. I'm no child rearing expert. Hell, I'm barely more than a child myself." That last part is dripping with just a hint of acid. "All I know is what my parents taught me, and I'm thinking you don't want that solution�"
Joyce looks at her, puzzled.
"Beat their asses until they're glowin' red, and if that don't work, kick their asses outta the house."
"Faith�" Joyce's voice goes soft.
"Joyce, want to cut to the chase here? I gotta go home and change for work. What do you want?"
"Ok, ok. Faith, they like you. They trust you. I'm hoping if you were to talk to them, they might tell you something about what's eating them�"
"Excuse me? Couple of problems here. First of all, Dawn might like me, but Buffy? I don't think that girl likes me very much at all. And don't ya think they might get a little suspicious iffen I show up like some Mary Poppins, sweeping in to kiss away the boo- boos and making the troubles fly away? They not stupid, Joyce."

"I know that, Faith. I'm not stupid, either," Joyce puts in her own barb. "But I have a business dinner on Friday, and I need someone to watch them because they're on restriction. Dawn asked for you, and Buffy� well, Buffy didn't object, anyway. So, I was hoping that if you showed up, and talked to them�"
Joyce fades out, seeing Faith's expression.
"I gotta admit, Joyce, you gotta pair on your. I thinking I know what inspired that girl you employ now�" Faith shakes her head.
"What? What're you talking about?"
"Takes a pair to ask your old girlfriend to watch the kids while you go out on a date. Gotta give you that, Joyce. You're gutsy."
"No! God, no! Faith, this isn't anything like that. First of all, this isn't a date, it's a business dinner. Secondly, I just want you to listen to them, see if you can get them to open up to you. I just want to do what's best for them�"
"I'm sorry, Joyce. I can't help you." Faith turns, and walks to her bike.
"Faith, please. Not for me, I know you're angry with me. Just for them. I know you care about them�"
"You're right, Joyce, I care about them. But you're dead wrong about the other. I'm not angry with you, Joyce. That's not the issue here." She kick starts the bike.
"You're not? I don't understand� ?"
"That's the problem, Joyce. You don't get it. And I put it right out there, and you still don't get it. And I can't draw you any more pictures, Joyce. So, unless you do get it, I can't help you. Not with the girls, or Hank, or any of it. I'm sorry, but otherwise, it's just too much of a mess. Even for me."
Faith looks over her shoulder, then rolls back the bike, preparing to leave.
"Faith, wait! Stop! Don't go! Don't leave me! Talk to me!" Joyce runs out, trying to catch her.
Faith pulls up to her, and leans over the handle bars.
"That's just it, Joyce. I can't leave somewhere where I've never been."
Gunning the bike, she roars off down the street, leaving Joyce to watch her go.
Joyce stands there, watching her until she disappears around the corner. She turns around, a confused look on her face.
"Never been?" She murmurs to herself, simply not understanding.
Confused, she walks across the sidewalk and enters the Gallery.

8

"I'll get it!"
Dawn calls out from the kitchen, in response to the front doorbell ringing. She enters the foyer, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. She balances it under one arm as she answers the door.
"Yeah?" She says, flipping on the light.
"Hello. Is this the Summer's residence?" A soft British voice queries through the screen.
"This is it," Dawn says, keeping the screen closed. "Can I help you?"
"You must be Joyce's daughter. I'm here to see your mother. Is she at home?"
"You're here to see mom?" Dawn asks, a little suspiciously. "Are you selling something?"
Rupert Giles laughs softly.
"No, no, this is of a more personal nature. Is she here?"
"You want to talk to her?"
"Yes, if I may."
"MOM!" Dawn yells, not moving from the door. "Some British guy is here to see you!"
Rupert Giles, a little unaccustomed to American ways, takes a step back from the door. My, Americans tend to have well developed vocal chords.
Joyce appears at the living room doorway, peering into the foyer.
"Rupert?" To say Joyce is surprised is an understatement.
"Joyce. Good evening. May I come in?"
Joyce comes to the door, but refrains from opening the screen.
"Dawn, honey? Why don't you take the popcorn into the living room? I'll be there in a moment."
"Don't I get to meet British guy?"
"Where are my manners?" Rupert says from the porch. "I'm Rupert Giles, a client of your mothers. And I take it, from what Joyce says, you're Dawn Summers. Is that correct?"
"Yeah�"
"Hey, what's going on?" Buffy pops her head into the foyer. "Who's the guy?"
"This is Rupert Giles, a client of mine," Joyce sounds a little off. "Mr. Giles, this is my other daughter, Buffy."
"Pleased to meet you," Giles says, raising a hand and waving.
"Cute," Buffy grins. "What's he doing here?"
Dawn shrugs.
"I'm here to�discuss something with your mother. Nice to meet your girls."
"Yes. Some business. If you girls could excuse us?"
"That's our cue, squirt. Let's get lost," Buffy turns, returning to the living room.
"Don't call me that, Munchkin," Dawn yells after her, and follows her out.
"I thought you were going to call me," Joyce turns back to Rupert. She's obviously a little annoyed. She still doesn't open the screen door.
"Ah, yes, the call. I suppose I should've rung you up, but frankly, I sometimes come off as a perfect ninny on the telephone. So, I decided to show up in person, instead. I'm sorry if that was inconvenient�"
"Rupert, as I explained to you earlier, things are a little complicated right now�"
"Yes. Complications," Rupert says wryly," Always a nasty business, those."
Joyce can't help smiling at the wit and charm. She sighs, and walking over to the closet, retrieves a sweater. Shrugging it on, she returns to the front door.
"I'll step out�" She opens the screen door, and stepping out onto the porch, closes the front door behind her.

Dawn, curious about the stranger, and just generally curious, has been watching her mom and "Rupert" from the couch. Seeing her mom step out, and close the door, she gets up.
"Where you going, squirt?" Buffy asks, munching on the popcorn.
"Shhh!" Dawn says, walking towards the foyer.
"Hey, if you're going to snoop, you'll never get jack from there�" Buffy calls out from the sofa.
"Would you shut up!?" Dawn hisses at her. She stops, and turns to Buffy. "I won't?"
"Of course not, moron. The door's too thick."
"Oh yeah, Brainiac? You got a better idea?"
"Well, duh!" Buffy says, getting up from the couch. She crosses the room, and goes to the living room window. She gently opens the window a crack, then pulls back the curtain a little.
"They're gonna see!" Dawn says, walking over to where Buffy is standing.
"No way. Look, you can see them on the porch, but because of the overhang, unless they look directly at the window, they won't see you. And trust me, they aren't going to be looking at the window�"
"How do you know this?" Dawn says, looking out the window.
"Oh, I wanted to see you slobber all over Xander a couple of times� 'Oh, Xander, you're such a hot kisser�' �OUCH!"
"God, Buffy. Don't you believe in privacy?" Dawn flushes, angry thinking Buffy has been spying on her when she's been with Xander.
"If you want privacy, get a room. Now shut up, or they're going to hear you!"
The two of them watch the tableaux playing out on the porch.

"� I really do wish you'd called, Rupert. I really don't think I can make it tomorrow night. I can't seem to find anyone to stay with the girls." Joyce tells a white lie, to spare his feelings. Frankly, after the scene at the gallery this afternoon, Joyce is reconsidering the whole dating thing. I'm thinking, a nice convent would be nice right now. Small cells, lots of prayers, and no dating allowed! What's the bad?
"I'm sorry. I don't understand," Giles looks puzzled. "I mean, your daughters seem old enough to be left on their own for an evening�"
"Of course they are. Except, they're on restriction. Meaning someone has to be here to be sure they stay put. You know how teens are about rules�"
"I remember I wasn't overly fond of them when I was a lad, yes." Giles nods, "Still, couldn't you put the girls on their honor? Tell them you'll trust them and all, and then do trust them? I'm not an expert, and not advising you on how to raise your daughters, but it seems that would be better than putting yourself on restriction because you put them on restriction."

" I think I like this guy already," Buffy whispers, listening in.
"You just want to be able to skip out on restriction, Buffy," Dawn says, frowning. She's not liking this conversation much.
"You're so wrong, squirt. I'm tired of being on restriction, yeah, but I don't want to add to it. I want to get off sometime before I graduate�"
"Shhh!"

"Do you have kids, Rupert?"
"Ah, no� I wanted children, but my ex-wife never seemed interested. I think she was saving herself that way for the gardener, perhaps."
"Well, if you had kids, especially teenage kids, you'd know there's a biological imperative for them to bend, push and break any rules they can get away with. I love my daughters, but if I let them just stay home alone with no one to watch over them, they're going to be really tempted to skip out�"
"Isn't there someone you could call, Joyce? I really want to have dinner with you�"

"It's a date. It's so a date�" Buffy says, peeking out over the window.
"No way, she said it was a business dinner."
"Business dinner my butt. Did you get a look at the guy? For mom, that's majorly stud time�"
"Yeah, but�" Dawn peeks out. " It's not supposed to� I mean, isn't she like too old to date, " Dawn covers, remembering that mom hasn't told Buffy about Faith.
"Oh please, ye of little brains. Just because mom is like� old�doesn't mean the juices don't still flow. This is so a date�"
what's going on here? Dawn thinks, looking out at her mom and Rupert talking on the porch. I mean, she said she loved Faith. Doesn't that kind of� well, cut out guys? So, what's the 411 with the British guy? Why is she making a date with him, if she wants to be with Faith? Can you vague it up a little more for me, please?

"It's not only the girls, Rupert. It's also my ex. He's here in town, and well� I know if he finds out I'm dating, he's going to make some trouble with the divorce�" Never mind what happens if Faith were to find out I'm dating someone� damn, I knew I shouldn't have done this� still, he's cute and charming�
"Ah, well, yes, I remember you talking about� what was his name again?"
"Hank?"
"Yes, one of those charming American names. Anyway, this Hank fellow needn't know�"
"Yes, but if he does know, I know he'll make trouble about the custody� you know how spiteful ex spouses can get�"
"Yes, I do, actually," Rupert remembers how much it cost him to rid himself of his ex wife. "but, I really do have that covered�"
"I'm sorry, how do you figure that?"
"Well, I made reservations at Maison del Mar�"
"Isn't that that rather exclusive club overlooking the sea cliffs� in Santa Barbara?"
"Yes, exactly. And that would solve the problem of Hank finding out, as we would be enjoying a fine meal in another town." Rupert smiles. "Hardly anyone he would know would likely to be there."
"Not anyone I would know, either," Joyce protests. "That's rather� over the top for a first date, don't you think?"
"I get the pleasure of spending an evening discussing art and artists with a charming, beautiful woman. That's a rarity, at any price."
God, he lays it on thick. Not that I'm hating it, mind you�
Joyce walks over, and sits on the porch swing. Rupert moves to join him, but she puts her hand up.
"Give me a moment, ok?"
"Sure." Rupert says, walking to the porch post and leaning against it.
Ok, this is crazy. I should just make some polite excuse, and decline the invitation. I can't see how this will do anything but make life more complicated� Still, it would be nice to have a nice meal without worrying about the nightly fight. And, with adult company that actually gets what it's about being in the middle of a divorce. And Faith pretty much seems determined not to be part of my life. So, what's the problem here? I know if I ask her, I can get Mrs. Blankenship to stay with the girls for a few hours� and hey, if they're bored with her, too bad. Maybe they'll learn not to fight so much� god, this is crazy. Really crazy�

"Ok, I'm in," Joyce says, standing up.
"Really?" Rupert pushes off the post. "You're sure now? I mean, I don't want to show up tomorrow night and find you still debating the point�"
"No, I'm in. I really could use a nice evening with an adult � be a nice change�" She smiles at him.
"Well, I can't say I'm displeased with your decision," Rupert smiles. "But, what about the girls? I mean, you seemed ready to think they would run off and join some cult a few minutes ago�"
"I'll find someone to stay with them," Joyce says. "So, what time tomorrow?"
"Is eight too early? Too late?"
"Eight sounds fine."

Dawn and Buffy look at each other. They quickly move away from the window, and head for the couch.
"You're right, it's a date," Dawn says, staring at the front door.
"Well, duh. I am smarter than you, squirt."
"Oh, gimme a break. You just got lucky," Dawn punches her.
"HEY! What's that for?" Buffy rubs her arm.
"For being a butthead, butthead."
"You're the butthead," Buffy retaliates with a punch of her own.
"Ow, knock it off, moron." Dawn shoves Buffy.
"You knock it off, squirt!" Buffy shoves her back.
"Don't call me squirt!" Another shove from Dawn.
"Don't call me moron!" Another shove from Buffy.
"Hey, hey, you two!" Joyce is standing in the living room doorway, hands on hips. " Can't I leave you alone for even 10 minutes without getting into it?"
"She started it!" Buffy points at Dawn.

"You are such a liar! You started it�"
"Well, I'm stopping it!" Joyce walks over, standing in front of them. "That cuts it. I was thinking maybe you two were mature enough to be on your own tomorrow night while I was at the business dinner�"
Dawn and Buffy giggle.
"Is something funny?" Joyce looks at them.
"No."
"Sorry, mom."
"Anyway, it seems I was wrong. So, I'm calling Mrs. Blankenship to stay with you until I get home�"
Groans from the Summer's chorus.
"Well, you have no one but yourselves to blame�"
"What about Faith? Did you call Faith?" Dawn asks.
"I did, and I'm sorry, but with school and a new job, she's just too busy to come� so, I'm afraid, it's Mrs. Blankenship�"
"Couldn't she come? For just a couple of hours? I mean, she could study here, couldn't she� or something?"
"I'm sorry, Dawn but I asked and she just can't make it."
"That blows�"
"Oh, cheer up, Squirt. I'm sure your girlfriend will be able to make it another time�"
"Faith is not my girlfriend. I mean, she's a friend, sure, and a girl, but�not like that� remember, I have a boyfriend� and anyway�" She smiles evilly, looking at Buffy, "It's not my locker with "DYKE" painted on it in red�"
Buffy blushes furiously. "That�s� just stupid crap�"
Joyce's mom radar, however, starts to vibrate.
"Buffy? Is there something we should know?" She comes over and sits next to Buffy. "I mean, if� that happens to be� I mean, if your attracted to other girls, maybe we should�"
"Oh for god sakes! Gross, mom!" Buffy almost explodes off the couch. "Get it straight! I'm not a dyke, ok? Not a lesbo, not a rug muncher. That was just painted by some � Witches at school� that really hate me, ok? Are we clear here! No gay crapolla here, got it!!!!"
"Geeze, Buffy. Homophobe much?"
"Dawn, that's enough." Joyce looks at her with some annoyance.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my sister is a homophobe. Geeze�" Dawn gets up, and heads for the stairs.
"Where you going, Dawn?"
"Upstairs� I got homework to do� " She trots upstairs before any more questions can be brought up.
"Buffy, if� well, if you do find yourself attracted to women, it's nothing to be ashamed of�"
"Mom, last time. I'm NOT gay, ok? It was a mean joke, that's all!"
"Ok, honey," Joyce backs off. "But, you know you can talk to me about this stuff, ok?"
Buffy just makes a noise, and throwing up her hands, walks away and goes upstairs.
Joyce lets out a sigh, and settles on the couch.
"Well, Joyce, that was real nice parenting there. Hope you got room for that Mother of the Year award coming your way."
She's beginning to think that that convent is sounding better and better.

* * *

Dawn shuts the door to her room, and immediately heads for her cell phone.
This whole mom dating thing is not exactly something she's liking.
Mom's supposed to be with Faith. I mean, she said she loved Faith. So, what's the deal with dating this � guy? Ok, the whole girl thing? Not exactly getting it. But I know Mom was happy when Faith was around, and � well, ok, I was happy when Faith was around. God, so much better than with Bitter Buffy. God, she's a joke!
Nope, I really don't think I want mom dating this� British guy. I think�

Dawn picks up her cell phone, and dials a number. She waits impatiently while the phone rings and rings.
"Hey, Faith? Dawnie� how are you? Yeah, I'm ok� hey, I gotta tell you something�"

* * *

Next door, Buffy also has her cell phone. She's not calling Faith, however.
She's actually not calling anyone. She just has the phone open, staring at the number on her speed dial.
I should call him. He asked me to call him if mom started going out with someone.
But she doesn't dial the number. She just stares at the phone.
He said he needed to know. So he could get custody. So� I should call him, right? I should�

She can't forget, however, when she needed to talk to him, he was too busy. And she can't forget that something else is going on�
She frowns, and in anger, snaps the phone shut. She puts it on her dresser, and almost throws herself on her bed, laying on her side, clutching her pillow.
And she broods. Everything is so confusing from her perspective. She doesn't know what to think.

Why does it gotta be this way? Why does everything have to be such a mess, anyway? Why can't we go back to being a family again? Why does it have to be one or the other? I want BOTH my parents� I need them� Why is he doing this to me? Spying on mom? I don't want to! I want� I just want� Buffy bites her pillow, to muffle a sob� I don�t want to do this anymore. I want to go back, take it all back. I've screwed up everything. I� it's my fault, I know it is. I never� it was wrong, doing it.

She feels as if her stomach is tied up in knots. She takes a breath, and feels that dryness that comes before being sick.
Oh, please� no� I don't want to be sick again. Why am I getting sick? I� I know what it is� oh god, why?
I'm being punished, I know I am. Something's wrong� I'm never late� but� oh god what am I gonna do? Everyone hates me already. If I'm� I can't even think it� but� what am I gonna do? No! NO! I don't deserve this� I was just trying to make things better. I can't be� I WON'T be� I'm� it's going to be ok. I'm� just late� I�

Buffy grasps the pillow to her, rocking and crying, trying not to be heard. Her stomach feels queasy, like it's all acid and burning. And then a sharp pain, followed by a wave of nausea.
Oh, no oh no oh no, no, no !
Buffy gets up, feeling dizzy. Stumbling, crying and scared, she runs for the bathroom.

9

"So, you see class, as I've demonstrated on the board, if you factor X, and then solve for Y, you'll come out with�"
Dr. Ansbush stops when he sees a hand raised.
"Yes? Did you have a question about the problem, Ms. Summers."
"Uhhh� not really. Ummm� well, I'm kinda feeling a little� I really need to use the restroom?"
"You're not sure?"
The class laughs.
"I'm sure. I need to use the bathroom." Buffy blushes.
"Couldn't it wait a minute, Ms. Summers? I'm almost done here."
"Well, you see� ummm� I'm feeling kind of sick�"
More laughs.
"That'll be enough," Dr. Ansbush walks down to Buffy, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Ms. Summers, if you're feeling unwell, maybe you should see the school nurse."
"No! I mean, no, it's not like sick�sick� I'm kinda having woman problems�" She fades out.
And yet, more laughs and titters.
She gets the expected reaction from Dr. Ansbush. Confusion with just a hint of disgust at the subject. He quickly retracts his hand.
"Ah, yes, ok. Well, why don't you take care of that, Ms. Summers," Dr. Ansbush pulls a pad out from his coat, scribbling something on it. "Here's a hall pass for you."
"Thank you, sir," Buffy snatches the pass from him, then stands up and collects her books and purse. She smiles weakly, then quickly turns and beats a hasty retreat from the class.
Someone else is watching the little drama from another part of the room. Willow Rosenberg has a worried look on her face.
She's been acting weird all morning. When she came to school a little late, I teased her about it, and she nearly bit my head off. Then, she turns around and apologized profusely, saying she was feeling a little sick. I asked her about it, and she was all secretive and evasivey. Totally weird. I mean, ok, maybe she's getting her period, but why would she act so strangely about it? And the other day, when she came out of the Nurse's office, she looked really upset� like she got some bad news. What happened�? Willow sighs. Ok, now who's being a nosey parker? It's probably nothing� but just a little embarrassing. Geeze, Will, stop playing Sherlock Holmes and � She turns back to the class.

Buffy looks left and right, and seeing the hallway empty, she makes her way towards the girls bathroom.
She knows she can't do this during the normal between class times. The bathrooms are usually crowded with gossiping girls, and right now that's the last thing she needs. Lunch is out too. And she can't do it at home. Oh god, if mom found it, she'd have a Guernsey!

Buffy slips into the girl's room, and looks around. Looks empty� still, she doesn't want to take any chances.
"Hello? Anyone in here?"
No answer.
"Hello?"
Good, looks deserted. Perfect.
Still, feeling paranoid, she goes to each stall and tries the doors. All are unlocked, except the last one with the coin lock on it. Damn� someone might be looking for privacy, and hiding in there.
She starts to get down on her knees, and feels a sudden wave of nausea. She quickly hobbles over to the closest toilet, and leaning over, gives up her stomach contents. Breathing heavily, she pushes the plunger, watching the toilet whirl around, washing away her regurgitation.
Oh, man, that's so not good. But maybe it's just� stomach flu! Yeah, I could have stomach flu�

She gets up, and feeling a little woozy, puts down the lid of the toilet and sits. Impatient, she bangs on the wall of the stall next to hers� the one with the pay slot.
"Hello, anyone in there?"
No answer.
She digs in her purse, and pulls out a rectangular box. The one the school nurse gave her. After she told her about being late. For a few moments, she does nothing but stare at it.
Staring at it isn't going to help. It's not going to make it go away. Just do it, get it over with. You're not gonna know if you don't�
Sighing, she turns the box over, and reads the directions, again. Never mind she's already burned them in her brain.
Directions: Remove probe from plastic wrapper. Probe, that sounds pleasant! Place flat end of probe in urine stream. Do not wash urine off probe after use. Oh, yuck! Allow five minutes for results. A "+" sign indicates pregnancy. A " � " sign indicates no pregnancy.
Caution: Results may be inconclusive. Oh, that's helpful! While product has a 98% accuracy rate, no home pregnancy test can guarantee accurate results. It is recommended that you see your physician as soon as possible on completion of testing. Right, that's so going to happen. Because I want my mom and everyone to know what a whore I am. Uh-huh!
Buffy sits there for a few more moment, eyes closed. God, why can't this all just go away? She sighs, and opens her eyes, and opens the box. Ok, then, let's just get this over with�

Buffy emerges from the stall a couple of minutes later, holding the test probe well away from her body. She goes over to the sink, and sets it down on edge. Looking at her watch, she begins the countdown.
Please, please, please! Let it be negative! Please! I promise, if it's negative, I'll change, I will! I'll do everything right. I'll be good, I promise. I won't give mom anymore trouble, I'll stop picking on the squirt� Dawn, I meant Dawn, not squirt. I won't call her squirt anymore. I promise! I won't act all snotty and better than anyone. I know I'm not better than anyone. Please, just please!
Buffy looks at her watch. It's time. Oh god� she closes her eyes tightly, and begins to rock on her heels. It's going to be ok, it's going to be ok, I know it, I know it. It'll be negative, it will. Still, she stands there, wanting to look at it, and dreading to look at it simultaneously. Just look, just look. Stop doing this to yourself and look. It's nothing, you're fine, just do it!
Buffy sighs, and slowly turns, picking up the probe. She checks the results.
It's positive.
Noooooo! No, no, no, no, nooooo! This can't be right. It's a mistake. I can't be pregnant, I can't be pregnant!
She looks again, and it's still the same.
This is wrong. It has to be wrong. It has to be defective! I can't be pregnant! I can't!
But she knows in her heart it's not wrong; everything points at her being pregnant. The sickness, the mood swings, everything. Oh god NOOOO! No! No! NO!!!!
What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I can't be pregnant, I can't have a baby! I'm only 17 fucking years old! I � this is� I can't� I can't do this, I can't! I can't!
It's not fair! It's not! I'm a good girl, I didn't �I � don't deserve this! I don't want this , and I don't deserve this!
Yes you do, yes you do! You lousy slutty whore! This is exactly what you deserve. You slept with your daddy, trying to make him stay, and now you get what you got coming to you. Quit crying, you slut!
I'm not a slut! I'm not a whore. I didn't mean it, I didn't want to, I had to, don't you see? I had to , or he'd leave us. ME! He'd leave me! I had to do it, I had to!
You wanted to, you filthy whore. You wanted to, to keep him. You thought you could keep him and control him and everything and look what you got? Just what you deserve, you piece of filthy shit. Nothing, nothing and knocked up. Good going, Buffy. Another Buffy victory!
SHUT UP!
Buffy leans on the sink, head down. Her hands grip the sink so tightly, her knuckles are white. Little mewling sounds come out of her.
Finally, she shakes her head and looks up, seeing a very frightened girl looking back at her. God, this can't be happening� but it's happening, and you gotta deal� somehow� just pull yourself together.
She splashes water on her face, and dries off, trying to fix the ruins of her makeup. Finally, she just straightens up, and grabbing the probe and box, she slips them into her purse. She turns, and walks to the exit.
She's never felt so alone in her life.

To be Continued.
- 19
- 20
- 21
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Change of Season