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Life is Change	By : trudyw000 Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - Slash - Male/Male Views: 9166 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Sentinel, I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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That Evening - The Magic Box
As Spike pushed open the door of the Magic Box and ushered a subdued Xander inside, the assembled scoobies rushed forward eager to assure themselves that Xander was alright. Surprised by the sudden noise, and overwhelmed by the different scents of the various soaps, shampoos and other products used by the girls, Xander recoiled and Spike stepped forward, pushing the frightened boy behind him and fighting the urge to vamp out as his protective instincts rushed to the fore.
"Xander?" Willow questioned, shocked at her best friends reaction.
"Sorry Red" Spike spoke, "he's a little jumpy, don't crowd the whelp, OK" Spike led Xander over to the table and settled him into a seat, the others falling back and clearing a path as the two crossed the room.
"Xander, Spike" Giles spoke up, quickly greeting the two men, and cutting Buffy off before she could launch a barrage of questions at them. "Is everything alright?" he asked, concerned at the lost expression in Xander’s eyes, and confused by the obvious protectiveness of the vampire, he had never thought Xander and Spike got on that well.
"It's OK watcher, Xander's got the jitters is all" Spike explained from his place at Xander’s shoulder. "Found him in the graveyard this morning, on my way home, he was kinda out of it, surrounded by Gorkhan demons, three of them, nasty, dirty buggers! Chased them away easy enough and took him back to my crypt, wasn't time by then to get him to his apartment before sunrise."
"What do you mean, 'out of it' was he drunk or something, doesn't sound like Xander to me" Buffy spoke up.
"No, nothing like that, look I think it's better if he tells you hisself OK, just go easy on 'im, 'e's 'ad a rough night" Spike pulled up a chair behind Xander and sank down onto it.
At first Xander appeared reluctant to speak, but he seemed to draw strength from the silent presence at his shoulder and began to recite the events of the previous evening after he had left the Magic Box. It didn't take long to recount the details that Xander could recall and then Spike took up the story once more.
"Like I said 'e was really out of it when I found 'im, don't know 'ow else to explain it, 'e seemed to come back to 'imself a little when I spoke to 'im. Took 'im back to me crypt where 'e slept most of the day, woke up several times with nightmares though, tells me 'e's been 'aving those several times a night since we got 'im back." Spike slumped back in his chair once he had finished speaking, and then looked up at Giles to ask, "So the million dollar question is, what's making 'is senses go crazy, and is it going to get better, or worse!"
All eyes now turned to Giles, as always the children, and Giles would always think of them as children, looked to him for guidance and reassurance. In a bid for more time Giles removed his glasses and began carefully cleaning the lenses. A totally transparent stall tactic, and one he knew the scoobies would see straight through, but by now a thoroughly ingrained habit, and one he was unlikely to break anytime soon. "Well, I've heard of similar symptoms in cases of recreational drug usage, I assume..." his voice trailed off at the instant outcry his words caused.
"Xander would never do anything like that!"
"No, Xander wouldn't"
"I didn't, I wouldn't"
"No, nothing like that, would have smelt it on him, he's clean" Spikes voice overrode the clamoring voices of the younger scoobies.
"No, I assumed as much, how long has this been going on Xander, was this the first attack?"
"It's happened a few times, not usually this bad, normally if I just sit quietly for a few minutes and just concentrate on breathing slowly and staying calm it will pass, last night was really bad, it drove me from the car, I had to get away from the noise, the light. I couldn't think straight or I'd have just switched off the engine and covered my ears I guess."
"And when did this first happen?" Giles gently prompted the unusually fragile boy in front of him.
"When they had me" Xander's response was so quiet Giles barely heard it, Spike's hand reached out to briefly grip Xander's shoulder in support.
"The Xeljax?" Giles spoke softly, asking for confirmation, Xander merely nodded slowly his gaze unfocused as he thought back to his time held captive by the demons. Then slowly he began to speak, his voice very quiet but clearly audible in the silent room as his audience hung upon his every word.
"The cave where they kept me was very cold, and absolutely black, no light got in, ever. I was totally alone, they never came into the cave unless I was asleep. For a while I would try to stay awake, hoping I could see them, talk to them, make them understand, I didn't want to die. It was no good, eventually I would doze off and when I woke up the food was there and they had gone." Xander paused for a moment, gathering his strength and fighting off the terror he felt at reliving those awful days. "I even tried faking sleep but they always knew, I don't know how."
"At first I heard nothing, total silence, but slowly after the first week or so I began to hear voices, Buffy and Spike arguing as they searched tunnel systems. Sometimes Spike muttering to himself as he searched alone. I thought I was going crazy, but then as I really listened to the things the voices were saying, they didn't fit with the way I saw the world. They were saying words that I didn't think I would ever put into their mouths if it was my imagination. They became very reassuring, they were probably the only thing that kept me from going insane down there."
As Xander finished speaking, no-one moved for several moments, all lost in their own memories of those dreadful days as they searched fruitlessly for their missing friend. Suddenly Giles cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to himself as he began to speak. "So it appears this thing, whatever it is was triggered by solitude and sensory deprivation. Thank you Xander, that gives us a starting place. I have some books that may be relevant, Willow, if you would like to start up that infernal machine and see if you can find anything on the internet."
Slowly everyone moved off to their assigned tasks, but as they did so each one managed to pass by Xander's seated form and brush a hand gently across a shoulder or down an arm, silent symbols of solidarity and promises to find an explanation, and some way to help their friend.
Initially Xander sat motionless and silent in the midst of his friends as they worked around him. Spike still sat equally silent at his shoulder. Eventually Spike's enhanced vampire senses detected an infinitesimal lessening of tension within Xander's body, and he watched as the tension thrumming through the boy's form slowly leeched away. When Xander seemed calm again Spike leaned in towards him and quietly asked "OK?" and Xander looked back over his shoulder towards the vampire and nodded. Spike nodded towards the door, "want to get some fresh air?" he asked quietly, again Xander nodded and the two men stood up and moved towards the door. Spike calling back over his shoulder, "just popping out for some fresh air" as they left.
As they walked down the street Xander felt a sense of calm and peace settle over him. In the soft glow of the street lamps and the quiet of Sunnydale after dark, he felt at home. They slowly approached a lighted store and found themselves in front of the coffee shop. Without words they exchanged a glance and went inside to fetch sustenance for the troops before heading back to the Magic Box.
Spike pushed open the door allowing Xander to precede him into the store and the researchers all looked up from their efforts as the room was filled with the comforting aroma of caffeinated beverages. The normality of the act of handing out hot drinks and snack foods helped to ground Xander even more, and once that task was complete he helped himself to a weighty tome from the pile in the centre of the table and joined the research party.
Several hours passed slowly marred only by the rustle of turning pages or the quiet footsteps as a someone crossed the room to return one book and take away another. Until suddenly Giles snapped shut the volume he had been reading and with an oath quickly crossed the room to a set of shelves labeled Fiction? This was where he kept those books that even to a seasoned watcher seemed more fantasy than fact. After briefly searching through the shelves he pulled out a slim volume and dusted it off before laying it reverently down on the table."
"You've found something" Buffy stated and at Giles' reply, "Yes, I think I have" everyone moved to crowd around the table and look at the book lying there. It was bound in brown leather with an illustration that appeared to represent a Native American Tribesman on the cover and the word Sentinel across the top with the name Sir Richard Burton in smaller lettering at the bottom.
"Sir Richard Burton? Wasn't he some British actor guy, what's this even doing here Giles?" Buffy spoke the words that all the scoobies were thinking.
"Not that Sir Richard Burton. This gentleman was an eighteenth century explorer. He spent a great deal of his life in Peru living amongst the natives. He was a widely respected watcher, until he produced this book. General consensus was that he had gone native, his work lost all credibility after that."
"And his work, it relates to me somehow?" Xander asked.
"Yes it does, he wrote of men, he called them Sentinels, who lived on the outskirts of the tribe and protected the other members of the tribe. They had heightened senses to make them better protectors. What you are experiencing Xander, could be Sentinel abilities emerging."
"So you're saying I could be one of these Sentinel guys? Cool."
"Hey guys..." Willow called out from from where she sat hunched over her laptop. "I think I've got something. I used the information Giles found for a new search, there was this grad student a few years back. He submitted his dissertation on humans with enhanced senses, he called them Sentinels. He withdrew it a few days later, destroyed his career before it even got started. He lived up in Cascade, a little north of Washington but he could be anywhere by now."
"Very well" Giles interrupted Willow mid flow, "Willow, can you and Tara follow up on that angle. I will read up on Sir Richard Burton's work and we will get together in the morning, if that's alright with everyone?"
As everyone began moving around, clearing up and gathering their belongings Giles moved over to Xander "I'm not sure you should be on your own at the moment, I have a spare room which you are very welcome to use if you wish" he offered in a quiet voice.
At these words Spike had to fight to suppress his immediate instinct to rush to Xander's side. Forcing the demon into submission he continued tidying the books piled haphazardly on the table, using his actions to cover the fact that he was listening intently to the conversation going on a few feet away from him. Determined to allow Xander to make his own decision Spike used his task to mask his movements as he shifted around the table so he could covertly watch Xander and Giles as they spoke. As soon as he looked up and met Xander's eyes he knew that he should never have doubted and he moved to stand at his side Xander told Giles "Thanks for the offer G-Man but I'd rather be at my own place, Spike will stay over and keep an eye on me."
"Well alright, if you're sure, the offer's there if you need it."
"Thanks" Xander repeated and turned to leave, Spike at his side calling back to Giles "See ya Watcher" as they left.
The walk home was quiet, each of them lost in their own thoughts, but a percentage of each man's mind still alert to their surroundings.
Spike heard it first, the sound of a struggle coming from the alleyway to their left, but even as he turned to warn Xander he could see that Xander heard it too. Pulling out stakes they began to move towards the mouth of the alley, Xander hugging the left hand wall, Spike crossing with Vampire speed to the right hand wall. As they moved slowly forward, each hiding as much as possible within the shadows, they came upon the source of the noises they had heard.
A group of five vampires had a young woman cornered, her body pressed back into the angle between a large dumpster and the right hand alley wall.
As they each took in the situation it was obvious that Xander had the better position strategically. All the vampires had their backs to him, whereas at least two of them, possibly three would catch sight of Spike in their peripheral vision if he got much closer.
Looking across the filthy alleyway Xander caught Spike's eye and shrugged eloquently. This was the hand they had been dealt, these were the cards they would have to play.
Xander continued to edge forward, getting as close to the farthest two vampires as he could. Finally Xander stopped, level with the furthest vampire and quickly sized up his opposition. The cornered young woman was keeping the vampires at bay, but more because they were amused by her attempts to defend herself than from any fear on their part.
Xander knew they had to move quickly, the vampires were tiring of the game and would attack soon. Picking the spot he would have to hit to drive his stake through the first vampire's heart with his first blow he gathered himself, ready to strike. Knowing that Spike would be watching his every move, ready to follow his lead he made no attempt to communicate his plans. Doing nothing to risk alerting their opponents he suddenly launched himself forward, his stake sliding smoothly between the ribs and into the unbeating heart of his target. Even as the dust of his first kill was settling around Xander and he turned to face his second foe, another cloud of dust burst out on the far end of the line as Spike made his own kill.
Warily Xander faced the next vampire in line, there were only three left, but now they were fully aware of Xander and Spike's presence. Hefting his weapon, and trusting Spike to deal with the other two, Xander weighed up his new opponent. This guy was small, kind of weaselly looking, if he'd been human Xander would have had no doubt he could take him. However, this was a vampire, a completely different kettle of fish as Giles might say. The thought made Xander laugh, just a brief bark of laughter but enough to disconcert weasel guy. Xander lashed out, stake aimed squarely for weasels heart and was quickly enveloped in the resulting dust cloud.
Looking around for his next opponent Xander only saw Spike calmly watching him through twin dust clouds falling gently to earth. The curiosity Xander felt at the peculiar look in Spike's eyes was suddenly swamped by the memory of the young woman they were there to save. Looking around quickly Xander was relieved to see she was still there cowering beside the dumpster, terrified but still very much alive. Swiftly he moved to her side, speaking to her gently as he put his arm around her shoulders and helped her to her feet. "They've gone, you're safe now" he slowly walked her towards the mouth of the alleyway, soothing her fears as they went.
Keeping back Spike followed them out of the alley, watching the way Xander calmed the victim's shaken nerves. Xander did this so easily, with his handsome face and friendly personality people naturally trusted him. As they stepped out onto the main street Xander was asking the woman where she lived.
"Just down the street" she replied pointing to an apartment building a little further on.
"We'll walk you home" Xander said, quickly adding "It's on our way" over her protests.
Sensing her continued reluctance Spike moved up on her other side, and holding her gently by the elbow urged her towards her apartment block. Several minutes later they saw the young woman safely in through the doors and continued on their way to Xander's place.
They walked in companionable silence for several minutes before Xander asked "What was that about back there?"
Spike looked confused as he replied "Good guys, killing the bad guys, rescuing the damsel in distress, you know same old same old."
"No not that" Xander laughed slapping Spike across the chest with the back of his hand as they walked. "After the fight, you were staring at me."
"Was not"
"Was"
"Was not"
"Was"
"I was just watching you fight,when did you get so good?"
"I'm not that good, and stop trying to change the subject, there was definite starage going on back there."
"Don't sell yourself short. I just saw you take out two vampires in under thirty seconds. They didn't lay a hand on you and you're not even breathing hard."
"What, you must be kidding, it took longer than that" Looking up Xander just saw Spike shaking his head.
"20 seconds, 25 max from when you made your first move until the second schmuck dusted. I've noticed it over the last couple of weeks, you've seemed more in control, except when you're completely out of control of course."
"Hey!" Xander laughed, it felt good to be able to relax with a friend. I wonder when that happened Xander mused, when did I start to think of Spike as a friend.
"Penny for 'em" Xander was pulled from his thoughts as Spike spoke.
"Sorry,was miles away, guess they must have been pretty young fledges if what you're saying is true."
"No," Spike contradicted him, "I mean don't get me wrong, they weren't masters by any stretch of the imagination, but not fledges, probably turned in the last 40 to 50 years."
"What! How can you possibly know that?"
"120 odd years, you pick stuff up if you want to stay alive. They were strong, confident, sure of themselves, not the mindless aggression you'd expect from fledges, plus five of them together, you don't see fledges co-operating like that."
The rest of the walk to Xander's apartment was accomplished in silence as Xander thought over Spike's words.
As Xander let them in he headed for the kitchen. "Come in Spike, you hungry?"
"Yeah, I could eat somethin', what'ya got?"
"Mmmmm" Xander hummed as he rumaged through his refrigerator, "Ah-ha" he emerged triumphant clutching a plastic container of blood. "Pig I think." He called out as he carefully poured out a mug full of the thick, viscous fluid before sprinkling a handful of mini marshmallows on top and putting it into the microwave to heat through.
Whilst waiting for the blood to warm he set about making a pot of coffee for himself, loading everything on a tray when it was ready with a packet of biscuits and a handful of twinkies to nibble on.
"Mind your feet" he called out as he carried the laden tray into the room, depositing it on the coffee table in the spot recently vacated by Spike's Doc Martins.
"Quite the little mother aren't we?" gibed Spike as he helped himself to the mug of blood from the tray and grabbed a couple of biscuits to dunk for good measure.
"Oy!" Xander objected, elbowing Spike in the ribs as he reached for his coffee and a twinkie.
There was no sound in the room for several minutes except for the sound of crinkling wrappers and munching biscuits, but soon Xander broke the silence. "So, do you really think my fighting has improved? Maybe it's some kind of Sentinel super powers coming through. That'd be much more helpful for a protector than the insane sensory spikes which is all it seems to have given me so far."
Spike thought about it for a few moments before answering, Xander was grateful to see the other man giving his question due consideration and not just laughing off the thought immediately. Finally Spike spoke slowly, almost as if he was thinking out loud. "Maybe, I don't think it's that you're any faster or stronger, more that you're more focused, and your reactions are faster. I think maybe you're hearing subtle clues from your opponents that give you a split second of advance warning before they move. Just enough to give you a heads up so you can react quicker." Xander looked thoughtful as he pondered the implications of what Spike had suggested. "I think your confidence is growing as well, I'm thinking that maybe it's a combination of enhanced sight and hearing that enables you to focus better on where on your opponents body you want to strike. I don't know, it could be subconscious, as your abilities grow and you come to rely on them and understand what you can do, without even really knowing that it's happening." Suddenly Spike seemed to realise he had been musing out loud and his jaw shut with an almost audible snap. "I dunno, you'll have to see what the brains come up with tomorrow." It was only now, with the return of Spike's cockney street punk accent that Xander realised that it had been missing while Spike had been speaking his thoughts.
"No, I think you could be on to something there, but why would I only have that kind of control while I'm fighting. I'll admit I'm very grateful that I haven't freaked out during a fight yet, but I was beginning to think it was only a matter of time."
Spike looked angry now, "you mean you knew there was a chance of you 'freaking out' during a fight, but you kept fighting anyway. Didn't you even think how dangerous that was! What did you think would happen if you collapsed, clutching your head and screaming in the middle of a battle?" Spike was standing now, tension in every line of his body, and Xander stood to face him.
"What did I think would happen? Exactly the same as happens every time I'm thrown across a room, or blasted into a wall, nothing! I've never asked for any special consideration in battle, and I've certainly never received it. I think they've gotten so used to seeing me thrown around by the latest nasty to hit Sunnydale that they barely even notice it anymore. But I've never put my friends in danger, I've never felt the slightest hint of trouble while I was fighting, in fact that's when I feel most alive, most in control. Maybe you've just pinpointed why that is, and I'm grateful, but don't accuse me of putting my friends in danger, I've never done that, and I never will." As his anger subsided, Xander slowly sat back down on the couch, his head sinking into his hands. "I'd never put them in danger, never put you in danger. You're the only friends I've got, I couldn't risk that."
"Fuck putting your friends in danger, what would have happened to you!"
On hearing Spike's words Xander looked up a confused look in his eyes, as if he couldn't quite understand what he was hearing. "Why would you care if something happened to me, we've never really gotten along have we?"
Spike sank down next to Xander, reaching out to lay one hand on his friends shoulder. "Of course I care, what would happen to me if you weren't around. I'd be left to drown in a sea of estrogen, that's what! At least until Buffy staked me in a PMS inspired hissy fit over a broken nail or a bad hair day."
Xander gave a soft chuckle, "Yeah, at least I'm good for one thing. But you'd still have Giles for some masculine support."
"Uggh! No thanks" and Spike gave an artistic shudder at the thought.
Xander elbowed him in the ribs, laughing now. "That is not what I meant and you know it!"
As the laughter died down they sat quietly on the couch, good humour restored. Spike went over the conversation they'd just had in his head. He and Xander had been getting on better over the last few weeks and he found that he enjoyed the time they spent together. He decided he really needed to address Xander's self-esteem issues and turned to speak but only smiled as he saw the other man slumped bonelessly on the couch practically asleep. It was obvious that the adrenaline high from the fight earlier that evening had worn off now, not even the coffee he'd drunk a short while before would keep him awake much longer. "Come on." Spike stood pulling the barely functioning Xander to his feet, "lets get you off to bed. Get a few hours sleep before we all convene back at the Watchers." Slowly Spike walked him into the bedroom, pulling back the covers and pushing him down to sit on the edge of the bed before pulling off his shoes and pushing the sleeping man to lay down covering him with the bedspread and then going back to the couch to sleep, checking the black out curtains were all closed on the way before falling into a deep sleep of his own for what remained of the night.
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Life is Change