Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

No Body's Home	By : redeyedemon Category: > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 3481 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I by no means own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or any of the characters, and I make no money from writing this.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
A/N: And we have chapter two! Sorry for the wait, kids. It’s kind of a post Christmas miracle. I kind of hate the holidays, so with my family trying to throw cheer at me… Well, I got fed up. But! Update! Because I got reviews, which I kind of wasn’t expecting.
Anyways! Again, unbetaed, so… Forgive me.
Warnings: Er… Language. Self-deprecation. Angst. Mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, and of the characters involved, nor do I have any claim on the song 'Nobody's Home'. They just all came together to allow this fic to happen. I make no money, and am broke.
“Talking”
‘Thoughts’
Chapter 2:
Spike watched mildly as the new boy left the rec room. Young kid. Pretty, but tired looking. Suicide case, so tired was probably a good observation.
Drusilla watched Spike watch the new boy. She smiled, her head tipping to the side as she looked at her brother. “Pretty kitten, isn’t he Spikey. Pretty, and oh so sad. All for you, hm?”
Spike shook himself, giving Drusilla a long look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Dru. He’s a kid, messed up like the rest of us. Nothing kitten like about him,” Spike sighed at Dru’s words. She’d been doing well, but today her mental state seemed to have been slipping through the day. The younger woman had refused to eat throughout the day, and the orderlies had to force the medication upon her.
“Ah-ah-ah, Spike. ‘E’s just a kitten. ‘E needs someone to some ‘im his claws, and you need to discover yours again. Accept Daddy’s gift, Spike. You need it.”
“Fucking Daddy,” Spike growled, blue eyes flashing as he glared at Drusilla. “The whelp’s not a list from da. If you remember, daddy didn’t do all that much for us, except send you here,” Spike said irritably. “Thought I’d lost you forever because of him,” He said softly.
Drusilla just shook her head. “But, don’t you see, you ‘ave lost me. I’m here, and you’re meant to be out there. And the kitten will help you do that. Now, I ‘ave things to do. Stay out of the sunlight,” Drusilla said, matter-of-factly as she stood, smiling at Spike as she swept out of the room.
Spike blinked after her, before shaking his head. He headed for the hallway, intending to follow Dru. He was stopped at the door by a red-head in the usual hospital garb.
“Spike. You missed your appointment today, and I head you were hostile during group,” Doctor Willow Rosenburg was a bit shorter than Spike, with short, bright red hair, and Spike’s main therapist.
“Dru wasn’t well. And Faith was her usual uppity bint self during group. She’s lucky no one knocked her on her over presumptuous arse,” Spike growled, glaring over Willow’s shoulder as he leaned against the wall.
Willow sighed, watching Spike sadly. He was one of her favorite patients. Determined, and not really suicidal, he was a smart boy, and she sincerely wanted to see him released. But, Spike seemed dead set on not leaving until Drusilla was released. And, while Willow wasn’t treating Spike’s sister, she knew well enough that the likely hood of Drusilla ever being released was slim to none.
“Well, Spike, I can’t say I’m disappointed that no one hit Faith. We all have our problems,” she said mildly. “Why don’t we talk for a while? Make up for your appointment this morning. Dru looked quite well with Dawn when I passed them in the hall.”
Spike hesitated, before nodding slowly. “As long as Dru’s not picking up insane idea’s from Buffy again…” Spike muttered, glaring at Willow’s soft smile as he followed her towards her office. “I’m not kidding. Buffy is almost as bad as Faith, without the self-serving attitude. Buffy doesn’t help with Dru’s delusions…”

……………………………

Xander sighed as someone knocked on his door. He really had no interest in speaking to anyone. Especially not if it was another orderly like Reilly Finn.
To his surprise it was two brunettes from the rec room. Dawn, the bulimic, and Drusilla… Who Sam had never actually explained. Just abuse from a parent, and that she wouldn’t be leaving the institute.
Xander regarded the two warily.
Dawn smiled brightly from the doorway, hesitating, whereas Drusilla wondered into the room. Dawn gave Xander a sheepish look. “Well, I was going to ask if we could come in, but Dru doesn’t tend to ask. It’s a thing.”
Xander nodded slowly, sitting up on his bed, watching them cautiously. “Yeah, c’mon in. I’m Xander,” he said, glancing at Dawn momentarily, but his gaze was drawn to Dru as she walked the room, circling closer, and closer to his bed. “Um…. How’s it going ladies?”
“Oh, don’t worry. We’re harmless. Mostly. If Drusilla tries to bite you, give a yell and I’ll grab her,” Dawn said with a grin, cutting across the other girl’s path to reach Xander’s bed. She sat next to him, offering her hand. “I’m Dawn. I’m sure Sam told you that already. I saw her talking to you. She’s a bit… Odd, isn’t she?”
“Oh, oh, she’s harmless, Dawnie, dearest,” Dru murmured, settling on the bed on the other side of Xander. “Hello, kitten. I’m Drusilla, dearest. I’ve wanted to meet you. And, Spike would be on so very unhappy if I were speaking with Buffy, and not with you.”
Xander blinked. And blinked again. “Uh… Who’s Buffy?”
Dawn laughed lightly, shaking her head. “Buffy. Oh Buffy. Who wouldn’t have met, or seen her. They keep her rather tightly locked away,” she said mildly. “Buffy had a bit of a trauma. Her father died, and she snapped. She sank into this world in her own head. She’s convinced she’s this one girl in all the world called the Slayer. She’s put on the Earth to fight vampires, demons, and the forces of evil. We’re all a part of it. Well, maybe not you. You’ll meet her eventually. And, I’m sure you’ll become part of it.”
“A white knight, all bright and brave and loyal,” Drusilla murmured, giving Xander an odd smile as she cocked her head to the side.
“Not brave. You’ll have to look for some other guy if you want brave,” Xander said quietly, giving Drusilla a small smile. “Loyal though, loyal I can do. Like a stray dog. Give it food, and it’ll follow you anywhere.”
Dawn gave him an odd look. “You do realize you just pretty much called yourself a stray dog, right?”
Xander shrugged. “I’ve been called worse. At least a dog is worth something,” when it looked like Dawn was going to respond to that, Xander switched his focus to Drusilla, changing the subject. “Why wouldn’t Spike like you talking to Buffy? It seems like she could use someone to talk to.”
“Oh, Spikey things she fills my head with delusions. But no, the poppet just believes, she does. She may be a nasty Slayer, but she ‘asn’t staked me or my Spike. No, we help her, keep Daddy away, and she leaves us be.”
“Daddy?”
“Angelus. Spike and Dru’s father. Uh, Daddy, as Dru calls him,” Dawn explained. “You’d have to ask Spike for more details on that one. I’m definitely not qualified to talk about it.”
“Daddy made it hurt, but it good. So good,” Dru trailed off, murmuring quietly to herself, as she started wondering Xander’s room again. Not that there was much to wander.
Dawn offered Xander a shrug. “Like I said, I’m not qualified.”
Xander’s nod was good enough acceptance for Dawn, and she changed the subject again, talking aimlessly about the food, therapy, different doctors, and life in the institution as they knew it.
……………………
Oz and Devon argued mildly as they walked down the hall. Well, as well as two former stoners really argued. It was mostly Devon talking, and Oz nodding, and adding input when he felt it was needed. Probably good for them both, Oz wasn’t much of a talker.
The duo stopped as Spike whirled out of an office, Willow’s voice trailing after him “I expect you to be on time tomorrow, Spike!” before the door closed behind him. Spike didn’t look angry exactly, but… Well, he wasn’t a happy camper. Which meant he was to be handled with care.
“Hey, Spike,” Devon said casually, giving the blonde a grin. “Willow riding you again about missing sessions,” The taller boy sighed. “She’s kind of a hard ass about that kind of thing, huh?”
Spike nodded slowly. He didn’t have a particular problem with Devon or Oz… Less Oz than Devon, because Oz was quiet and generally neutral, and as a whole he tended to be easier to put up with in large doses. Though, Oz and Devon had known one another before the hospital, and Oz spent a chunk of time with him while they were locked together, so maybe there was something to it. Spike could admit, he wasn’t bad to look at, when he kept his mouth shut.
“She’s just worried, s’all. During my missed sessions, I may be off tryin’ to organize an escape effort. Or off shagging former band members in broom closets,” Spike leered, his gaze running over the two boys, raising an eyebrow suggestively.
Oz raised an eyebrow in return. “I’m not sure she’d be so concerned about stopping the shagging,” he said mildly, making Spike’s leer turn into a reluctant grin, and Devon laugh aloud.
Spike shook his head, and turned to start walking, leaving Oz and Devon to continue their own conversation, or follow. Devon jogged a couple steps to catch up with him. “If you’re looking for Drusilla, she and Dawn wandered off a while ago. Buffy’s apparently been unconscious for days now, and Faith is in solitary after group today,” Devon trailed off slowly.
Spike sighed. “So basically, if she’s not in her room, it’s anyone’s guess where she might be.”
“There hasn’t been a recent swarm of orderlies running about, trying to sedate her because she’s gone and tried to drain someone. That’s a good sign.”
“That either she isn’t actually in trouble, or that she just hasn’t been caught yet,” Spike rolled his eyes.
“Dawn said something about the new kid. You know how she is,” Oz added mildly from behind them.
Spike nodded slowly, turning down a hallway. “Well, let’s go visit the new kid. Dru was infatuated enough with him. And, leaving him alone with the two of them for two long is sure to drive him crazy, if he’s not already.”
………………………………

Evening meds before dinner, and Xander wonders just how anyone manages to eat after medication.
“They’re just to help you relax, and sleep. It takes a while for them to kick in, hence why they’re distributed before dinner,” An orderly, assuring him when Xander’s look questioned the drugs. His name was Forest maybe? Xander hadn’t really paid attention. Another crew cut, with a too-bright smile, and a light blue uniform.
So, the medication is swallowed, and Xander shuffles his way to dinner.
Dawn meets him in the mess hall, grabbing food because there isn’t much of a choice, but urging him not to sit alone. Sit, not eat, because Dawn eats less of the dog food they serve than Xander is willing to.
Sitting with Dawn and Dru, and the former stoners Oz and Devon, and Dru’s brother Spike(who’s name isn’t actually Spike, but Dawn said that it wasn’t her place to tell him otherwise). They three boys had converged in his room, after Dawn and Drusilla, making themselves at home, making Xander feel a little less alone.
Which was odd. Xander was so used to being alone. He was a loser, a geek, the type of person people beat up and slammed into lockers. Gay, which did nothing for his status in high school, even if he never officially came out, and it was all rumors and heresy, but after Jesse, and the fact that no one would believe him even if he did deny it, it just made it worse and worse.
Or, he’d just been invisible, which he honestly preferred.
Though, Devon and Oz recognized him, if only vaguely. They’d both attended Sunnydale High, a couple years above Xander. He and Devon had had a math class together, and Devon remembered copying off his homework.
And Spike… Spike was a different breed of human if he’d ever met one. Built small, taller than Oz but shorter than Xander or Devon, he still managed to walk into any room, or hall and walk like he owned it. And, he was anything but subtle.
Xander fit in one of two empty spots at the round table Dawn had dragged him to. The meal, which was kind way of putting it, was poked at in mostly silence. Except for Devon, who ate, regardless of how it looked, and Drusilla who flipped between staring into space, humming to herself, and building small armies with the substance provided. Xander was tempted to compare it to the cafeteria at school, but one, that was loud, and kids were talking and moving and throwing things, and this was quiet, and still, and two… Xander had eaten alone, every day for a very long time.
Spike broke the silence as he shoved his tray away from him, locking his gaze on Xander’s. “So, pet, do tell us then, why’d you try and off yourself?”
Xander blinked. There was a moment’s silence at the table again, before Dawn broke it, punch Spike in the shoulder with a delicate fist. “Spike! What the hell? What kind of question is that? You barely know the kid,” she snapped, quietly of course, but her voice held the potential to be raised quickly.
“So? It’s going to come out eventually. So he can tell us here, with people he’s actually met. Or he can wait until they force it out of him in group, with whoever they group him with for the day. I personally found group worse than sitting with the shrink,” Spike glared, blue eyes cold and dark. He was almost, almost pouting, from Xander’s point of view. It could have been cute, until Spike turned that intense gaze back on him. Apparently Dawn had seen his reason and retreated. “Well, pet?”
Xander shrugged, his shoulders rounding as he curled in on himself a bit. He pushed food around his plate, not lifting his eyes. “I wasn’t important. I barely existed to anyone as it was, and when I did, it was just… Pain,” he said slowly, shrugging again. “The only person who I thought ever actually cared is gone, and I was just wasting space and wasting time in other people’s lives. And sometimes you just don’t’ have anything left to live for.”
Again with the silence around the table. Even Dru was quiet, watching in with dark, sad, knowing eyes. Finally Spike cleared his throat. “Well, that’s quite a skill. Turning self-deprecation into an art,” Xander finally lifted his gaze, meeting Spike’s. The tone wasn’t mocking, or patronizing. Just… Well, somewhat understanding. Xander blinked once, then shrugged, and dropped his gaze.
A voice over the intercom jogged Xander from his thoughts. “Dinner is ending in ten minutes. Please proceed to your rooms for lights out. I repeat, dinner is ending in ten minutes, please proceed to your rooms to lights out.”
Devon scoffed at the voice. “Lights out. They treat us like fucking children, giving us a bed time. Fuck that!”
“Well, our safety and care was technically signed over to them,” Oz said slowly. “And lights out really just means we’re in our rooms for head count and the big lights go out.”
“Yeah, Devon. How many of us actually sleep? As long as you’re back in your room by morning, lights out doesn’t really make much of a difference,” Dawn added.
Xander blinked. “What about the medication?”
“Oh, no one takes evening medication, dolly. Under your tongue, and save it up, so the night ours,” Drusilla’s dark gaze found Xander’s as she looked at him curiously. “You took what those nasty men gaze you? Oh no, poppet. They lock us in, but we can get out, we know how, but not if you have those drugs in you. No, no, no,” Dru dropped her head, fingers clenching in her hair.
Spike was immediately by her side, running a soothing hand down her back, talking quietly. Dawn, Oz, and Devon were all frowning. Dawn spoke up first. “The evening medications don’t really do anything but make you sleep. They’re unnecessary, and they leave you really defenseless.”
“Defenseless against what?”
“They come, only at night, only in the darkness. Terrorize and abuse, tear and use. We’re not like them, and they take advantage,” Dru’s voice shook, and she was still curled in her seat.
Spike glanced up from where he was still trying to comfort the distraught girl. “You’ve a lot of things to learn about this place, pet. It’s your first night, so you should be safe, but I’d recommend you stop taking the evening meds. Being conscious is better than completely helpless,” before Xander could question again, Spike spoke. “Since you’ll be out tonight, if you skip your meds tomorrow, we’ll sneak you out after rounds. Show you the thrill of sneaking past the guard posts, and getting into trouble,” The blond grinned mildly, before lifting Drusilla from her seat. “C’mon Dru. Let’s get you to bed.”
Drusilla left with him docilely, still muttering about hurting and pain and abuse.
Dawn looked at him seriously as she stood, and followed her lead. “You may not understand right now, and you’re probably confused, but you will. My only advice… Don’t fight it. You’ll end up with upped medication dosages, pain, and probably solitary. See your for breakfast,” She said with a small smile, brushing past him as well. Oz and Devon said their goodbyes, and parted ways with Xander.
Xander’s mind tried to stay on edge, jumpy, especially with Dawn and Spike’s parting words, and Dru’s ranting, and the almost too smug look on the random orderly’s face as his lights were turned out, and his door locked.
“Sleep well, kiddo.”
Xander tried, he really tried to stay on edge, but the drugs coursed through his system, and relaxed every muscle, shredded rational thoughts.
The last Xander had before he crashed into darkness, was that he would not be taking evening medication, ever again.
………………………………..
Lights out, orderlies on their rounds, none of the nurses, or doctors on call late really bated an eyelash if a patient screamed. Many were known to do so, in an attempt to get out, or rile up other patients, or just in the throws of a nightmare.
So, it was in no way unusual for an orderly to handle the situation, in a patient’s room, to administer medication or sedatives to calm the patient. If they needed help, or a doctor, they could call.
Because of the regularities of the hospital’s routine, it generally went unnoticed if a patient’s screaming or distress started after an orderly had slipped into their room. And, if rounds got done, who was anyone to question if any specific orderly spent just a bit too much time ‘calming a patient’?
The system had blind spots, and the only ones who could see were locked away, with no real defenses.
. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Warning. I am not an expert on depression or suicide, though I've experienced both. If you feel like death is the only answer, please, PLEASE talk to someone. I assure you, someone out there is willing to listen. Even if it's me! Leave your email address and I'll happily email you and talk. Suicide help line: 1-800-273-TALK.
Second, child abuse is never the child's fault. If you, or someone you know is being abused, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Anyways... Sorry if this is offensive to anyone, or they disapprove. It's been a rough year, and a story I read recently somewhat inspired it. I'll post the link next time for anyone who's interested.
Until next time. Alena
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

No Body's Home