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A Mile in My Shoes	By : NeenaVarscona Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 4136 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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~~~~~
Anya pounded on the door, staring at Buffy and Giles as if they were personally responsible for destroying her life.

�Damn, I forgot to unlock the door,� said Giles between spurts of giggles, and he went to unlock it. Anya stormed past him and slammed her purse down on the counter.

�We can�t get people to give us their money if we don�t let them in!� she said in exasperation. �Are you trying to ruin me?�

�I assure you, this was not a personal attack. Buffy had something important to discuss with me, and we didn�t want to be disturbed.�

Anya looked at him, then at Xander, and frowned. �Giles, you really are very bad at lying. Buffy�s not even here. And Xander, aren�t you supposed to be at work? Are you sick or something?� she asked, accidentally showing more concern than she�d intended. She swiftly back-pedalled: �Not that I care anymore. It makes no difference to me.�

�Anya, this isn�t Xander, it�s Buffy,� explained Giles. �Somehow she�s managed to get herself stuck in Xander�s body.�

�Well that was careless,� said Anya, going up to Buffy to give her a closer inspection.

�I couldn�t agree more,� said Giles, receiving a glare from Buffy. �But it�s still a serious matter,� he amended soberly.

�So that means Xander�s out there somewhere in Buffy�s body?� asked Anya.

Buffy and Giles looked at each other, and Buffy went pale.

�Good Lord,� Giles murmured.

~~~~~
Xander knocked on Willow�s door. He heard the rustling of covers and giggling from inside and knew he�d caught them at a bad time.

�Who is it?� came Willow�s voice from the other side of the door.

�Um�it�s me,� answered Xander, figuring that covered all the bases.

Willow opened the door. �Hey, Buff. You�re up early.�

�Yeah, well�it�s been a weird morning,� said Xander.

�So I can see,� said Willow, taking in his unusual outfit. Xander followed her into her room, but stopped dead when he saw Tara sitting on the bed wearing nothing but a flimsy nightie. It was more than a little see-through. Tara waved at him, but gave him an odd look.

�So, what�s up?� asked Willow, sitting down next to Tara on the bed.

Xander tried not to drool. �Will, do you remember last night at The Bronze?�

�Ugh! I�m trying to forget!� she exclaimed. �You know I love Xander, but I swear�one more word about how women have it so easy and I would have knocked him on his butt.�

�Well, now�s your chance,� said Xander. �Go ahead, knock me on my butt. I deserve it.�

Willow looked at him blankly, but Tara understood immediately and covered herself with a blanket.

�Xander�is that you in there?� asked Willow.

�Yes, it�s me.�

�Well, that explains the outfit,� she quipped.

�Willow! I need your help here�and I�m not talkin� fashion advice.�

�Wow! It really is you in there. Hi!� she said, peering deeply into her friend�s eyes and waving.

�Cut it out, Will,� he whined, sounding more like Buffy than ever before.

�Sorry, Xander, but it�s not like you just got your hair cut. This is a big change�it�s gonna take a little time to get used to.�

�No�that�s just the point�I don�t want anyone to get used to it. I have to get my body back. Now. Buffy doesn�t even trust me with her good weapons. Somehow I don�t think she�d ever forgive me if I broke her body.�

�I wouldn�t worry about that,� said Tara from the bed. �Her body�s pretty much Xander-proof. I�d be more worried about her breaking your body.�

�Again with the not helping,� said Xander, shoving his little hands into his big pockets and sulking.

�It�s okay, Xander,� said Willow confidently. �We�ve done the whole body-swap thing before with Buffy and Faith. We can just do a spell like that one for you guys. It doesn�t even have to be so complex, �cause both parties are willing to switch back this time.�

Xander breathed a sigh of relief. �Great. Whip up your potion, or whatever, and let�s go.�

Willow ordered Xander out of the room so she and Tara could prepare.

~~~~~
It was annoyingly busy at The Magic Box, making it hard for Giles and Buffy to discuss her problem. Anya wasn�t helping much either�she kept sizing Buffy up whenever she got the chance.

�So, who am I supposed to have reconciliation sex with,� asked Anya between helping customers. �When you think about it, it�s kind of icky either way.�

�Anya!� Giles warned.

�What?� she asked defensively. �This was only supposed to be a temporary break-up, designed to make him come to his senses and do what I want. How am I supposed to make up with Xander now?�

Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled Giles over to a quiet corner of the store.

�I think I should go find Xander and bring him here,� she said.

�No need,� said Giles nodding towards the door. �He�s here.�

Xander burst through the door, nearly taking it off its hinges. �Sorry, I haven�t quite got the hang of this super-strength thing,� he murmured. Tara and Willow appeared behind him and they joined Giles and Buffy in the quiet corner.

Buffy took one look at Xander in her body and let out a shout of horror. He�d dressed himself the way a little boy might dress a Barbie Doll with his G.I. Joe�s clothes.

�It�s not as bad as it looks,� said Xander in self-defence. �Hey�what�d you do to my face?�

�Let�s just say Riley gets a little cranky in the morning�or at least on mornings when he finds himself naked in bed with you.�

�Ohhh�� said Xander. �Hurts, doesn�t it?�

�What? This little scratch? I hardly felt it. If you think a teeny bruise is bad, you�d better hope you never have to go a round with Glory,� said Buffy.

�Stop it, you two,� said Willow. �It�s talk like that that got you into this mess in the first place. Now, if you�ll just be quiet for a minute and grab hold of this, we�ll have you back to normal in no time.�

Buffy and Xander reached out for the glowing white crystal in Willow�s hand.

�Don�t touch that!� Giles shouted. But it was too late. The crystal started glowing red, enveloping Buffy and Xander in its light. It grew blindingly bright then suddenly went out, cracking the crystal in the process.

�Buffy? Xander? Say something. Did it work?� Willow asked nervously.

Xander�s hands went straight to his chest. �Nope. Sorry, Will�it didn�t work.�

�Hey! Watch the hands,� snapped Buffy.

�Sorry, Buff,� he apologised and dropped his hands to his sides where they couldn�t get him into trouble.

�Well, at least you don�t appear to be any worse off than you were before,� said Giles. �And I think we�re most likely dealing with a vengeance demon�if it had been a spell that caused your switch, the counter-spell would have had some effect. Unless, of course, it was a spell with a built in booby trap.�

Xander�s eyes dropped to his chest automatically, and Buffy smacked him in the arm. �Aw, c�mon,� Xander complained. �You can�t expect me to just ignore a comment like that!�

�I can help out,� said Anya as she passed by on her way over to greet a new customer. �I�ve got connections in the demon community.�

�Good. We can use all the help we can get,� Buffy called after her, but Anya was already focused on the young Goth couple near the door.

�So, what do we do now?� asked Tara.

�We search for answers, as usual,� Giles stated.

�Tara and I can scope out The Bronze�see if anyone noticed anything unusual last night. We could take Anya with us. Maybe she�ll recognise an old demon friend,� said Willow, and got a nod of agreement from Tara.

�Fine,� said Giles. �Buffy and I will get a start on the research.�

�Ugh! Research? You want me to do research?� asked a disgruntled Buffy.

�It�s not safe for you to be patrolling in your current�uh�condition,� said Giles. �Until you get your body back, I think it�s best if you try and keep out of harm�s way.�

�Ha! Now look who�s on snooze duty,� said Xander smugly.

�Xander, you�ll be taking over patrol duty for Buffy,� Giles added with just a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

�Uh�what?� Xander sputtered. �I�m just�I�m not�I can�t!�

�Whether you like it or not, Xander, you�re now the Slayer. You have a sacred duty��

�Ha!� Buffy barked triumphantly. �Now look who�s getting the sacred duty speech!�

Giles glowered at her and continued: �As I was saying, the Key needs a guardian. You may not have been born a Slayer, and you may find the transition difficult, but you�re now all that stands between this world and the forces of darkness.�

�Geez, Giles. No pressure,� Xander grumbled.

Anya finished ringing in a sale and rushed over. �You can�t let Xander do Buffy�s job,� she argued. �Even if he has her powers, he doesn�t know how to use them. And if he gets killed now, you�ll lose your Slayer. And Xander, of course,� she added belatedly.

�She�s got a point, Giles�being the Slayer is more than just looking pretty and carrying a pointy stick.�

�Alright,� said Giles. �Go on patrol with him tonight and coach him. But be careful�both of you. Tomorrow, if we haven�t found a solution to your problem, I�ll start training the two of you together. One way or the other, we have to protect the Key, which means both of you must be prepared.�

�So�what do we do in the meantime?� asked Xander.

�I suggest you go home; give yourselves a chance to adjust. I�ll start on the research.�

�Tara and I can help you,� offered Willow.

�Fine,� said Anya as she passed them to restock the frog�s tongues. �Just try to keep it down�I don�t want you scaring away paying customers.�

Willow, Giles and Tara started looking through the books, leaving Buffy and Xander to fend for themselves.

�So�does your body come with an instruction manual?� asked Xander.

�Nope. No special instructions,� she answered. �Except�don�t eat chocolate ice cream. You�ll crave it, but trust me�it�s a bad idea. Oh, and don�t sleep on your stomach or your neck will cramp up. And I�m allergic to penicillin and cat dander. I�m on the pill, too, so make sure you take it every night. I can�t stress enough how important that is. If you don�t know how they work, read the little pamphlet that comes in the package. And use conditioner, or my hair dries out and looks like straw. And one more thing: after a fight, you might feel a little�odd. Just ignore it and it�ll go away. Eventually.�

�You�re sure you covered everything now?� asked Xander sarcastically.

�Yep. That about covers it. What about you? Anything I need to know?�

�Nada. It�s all pretty much self-explanatory. Just try not to get all heroic�I want my body back in one big piece, not a whole bunch of little ones.�

�Don�t worry, I don�t think Giles is gonna let me see any action until we�re back to normal,� she said. �Oh, I almost forgot�we�ll need to swap keys.�

Xander grinned; �So you�re really gonna stay in my parent�s basement? And I get to live in a girl�s dorm? Sweet.�

�At least I won�t have to share a bathroom with twenty other girls. I could get used to that,� said Buffy.

�You make it sound like a bad thing,� said Xander. Buffy just smiled at him sadly and handed over her keys�he had no idea what he was in for.

~~~~~
Buffy had Xander�s car keys, but knew better than to attempt to drive. Nothing good could come of a Buffy/car combo. Besides, she was used to walking. She set a leisurely pace to accommodate for Xander�s more limited physical capabilities and decided that she�d have to get him in shape. He wasn�t a weakling, by any means, but Buffy found it hard to believe a normal person could tire out so easily.

By the time she arrived at his house, she was once again tired and sweaty. And she was starting to smell like a tired and sweaty guy. Buffy snuck into his basement �suite� and started poking around. The place was tidier than she�d expected. But, then, Anya had practically been living there with him lately, so it kind of made sense.

She dug through his dresser and closet looking for some clothes that didn�t overly offend her sense of fashion. She settled on a plain, white t-shirt and jeans, and toyed with the thought of setting fire to some of his scarier outfits. Buffy gathered her pile of clothes and wandered over to his teeny bathroom.

The bruise on her face was turning an angry shade of purple, and she poked at it, a little unnerved that it still hurt. She opened his medicine cabinet and found the usual stuff: aftershave, razors, Tums, aspirin, and a ridiculously large stash of condoms. There was also some toothpaste, which reminded her that she hadn�t brushed her teeth yet. She looked around for a new toothbrush, but couldn�t find one. Eventually she picked up Xander�s toothbrush and loaded it up with toothpaste. She figured it wasn�t gross borrowing someone else�s toothbrush, if you�re also borrowing their teeth.

That done, Buffy peeled off the clothes she�d stolen from Riley�s closet and dropped them in an undignified heap on the cold, tile floor. She had to play around with the taps a while before she could get anything even remotely resembling hot water out of the shower. Stepping under the prickly spray, Buffy sighed with relief. All the aches and pains that had plagued her since she woke up began to dissolve and wash down the drain.

It felt good. It felt normal. So simple and uncomplicated.

Buffy started soaping herself up, running her lathered hands over her unfamiliar body. The contours of Xander�s body felt so foreign to her fingers�he was flat and firm where she was used to being round and soft. And even though she knew her own body was far stronger than his, she couldn�t help feeling more confident inside his larger, more muscular frame.

And then there was Little Xander. Sudsy water foamed around the aggravating and mischievous body part. She looked down and scowled at it. It certainly had a mind of its own. Now she understood why men were so preoccupied with their genitalia�the stupid thing was impossible to control. Twice, already, the perky passenger in her pants had nearly outed her secret infatuation. Thank God Giles seemed to be oblivious�the last thing she needed was her Watcher going all stuttery and bashful when she needed him to be strong and assertive. Although�he was awfully sweet when he got flustered�

�Not again!� Buffy griped as her new best friend stood up to greet her. She refused to acknowledge it�partly because it freaked her out a little, but mostly because indulging in her hopeless fantasies would only make her feel more awkward with Giles and more distant with Riley.

A flash of anger went through her at the thought of Riley and the way he�d treated her earlier. How dare he punch her in the face? Sure, he thought she was Xander at the time, but that didn�t give him the right to try and rearrange her features. Buffy looked down and was relieved to find Little Xander fast asleep once more.

~~~~~
Xander had just spent more time in the communal bathroom than he�d thought was humanly possible. It was crowded and cluttered, and even though half the girls were semi-naked, Xander was too frustrated to care. It didn�t help that he had to pee so bad his teeth ached, and two of the three stalls were out of order. When it was finally his turn, Xander rushed in, doing what he hoped was a subtle �gotta-pee� dance.

Facing the toilet, Xander unzipped his fly before realizing it didn�t work that way anymore. The pressure in his bladder kicked up a notch, making him suck in a hissing breath through his teeth. The subtle �gotta-pee� dance became a not-so-subtle �holy-crap-I�m-gonna-piss-my-pants� dance as Xander fought to free himself from his makeshift electrical tape belt. The relief he felt when he finally Houdinied his way out of his pants and hit the porcelain brought tears to his eyes.

Having recovered from the whole washroom ordeal, Xander was back in Buffy�s dorm room, picking out a selection of clothes from her closet when he sensed a presence behind him. Xander swung around, and his pants, no longer held up by tape, plummeted to the floor. Riley�s bulk filled the doorframe, and Xander panicked at getting caught snooping in Buffy�s things.

Then he remembered that, technically, he was now Buffy, so they were now his things. So he shouldn�t feel guilty. After all, he had to go through her things if he was ever going to get dressed properly. That�s when he realized he was standing in front of Buffy�s boyfriend with his pants around his ankles.

�Riley�what are you doing here?� he asked, pulling up his pants and holding them so they wouldn�t fall down again. �Haven�t you ever heard of knocking?�

Riley gave Xander an odd look�something he was starting to get used to. �Since when do I have to knock? It�s not like you have anything to hide.� Riley advanced on Xander with an accusatory glare. �I�m sure you have a perfectly good explanation for sneaking out in the middle of the night. And I bet that outfit you�re wearing is just the latest in Spring fashions.�

For a second, Xander nearly backed away from him, but then the thought occurred to him that if it came down to a fight, there was no way Riley could take him. That gave Xander a boost of confidence, and he bravely closed the gap between them until he stood face to chest with the ex-army man.

�First of all,� said Xander, �you owe me an apology. That was my face you messed up this morning. Did it even occur to you that waking up next to Xander was more than just a little weird? Did you even consider the Hellmouthy possibilities before you started throwing punches? Buffy woke up this morning in my body�totally freaked�and the first thing you do is punch her in the face. Forget what I said�you owe Buffy the apology, not me.�

Riley�s temper deflated a bit as he played back the morning�s events in his mind.

�So�this morning in my room�that was Buffy? And you�re Xander?�

�Give the man a prize,� Xander said caustically.

�How?� asked Riley, ignoring Xander�s tone of voice.

�Dunno. What�s more, we don�t know how to fix it. Giles has me taking over patrol duties and training, and��

�What do you mean, you don�t know how to fix it? Are you saying Buffy might be stuck in your body indefinitely?� Riley was quickly building up to angry again.

�Whoa there, big fella. Take a deep, cleansing breath and relax�we�re working on it. We�ve already tried a counter-spell. It didn�t work...but don�t worry, the Scoobies are in full research mode as we speak.�

�Where�s Buffy?�

�She�s at my place,� said Xander. Riley took off so fast Xander could swear he heard a zooming sound. �You�re welcome,� Xander said to the empty room.
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A Mile in My Shoes