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Don't Go	By : Kinetickid Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Tara Views: 11781 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Tara frowns as she feels movement on the bed, slowly dragging her burning eyes open she stares in surprise at a softly smiling Buffy.

�Dawn left for school, and I�m assuming that�s where Willow is also. What classes do you have today?� Buffy tilts her head to look at the blonde.

�Nothing that I really want to go to.� Tara admits quietly, rubbing her gritty eyes as she slowly shifts up in the bed. �How�d you sleep, sweetie?�

�A lot better.� Buffy admits quietly, reaching up to brush some loose hair from Tara�s cheek, gently tucking it behind the Wiccan�s ear. �Can I keep you here? Purely selfish reasons in force.�

�Sleep or food?� Tara grins crookedly at the slayer, her eyes twinkling.

Buffy opens her mouth to say sleep, before closing it and furrowing her brows in contemplation.

�It isn�t that hard a decision is it?� Tara jokes, tugging on the slayer�s pajama top.

�Nope. Both.� Buffy winks and grasps Tara�s hand, gently tugging her from the bed. �Why don�t you go get freshened up? Then we�ll get the rest of your stuff out of Willow�s room and bring it in here.� Buffy makes it sound more like an order than a suggestion before she quickly disappears out of the room.

Tara stares after the slayer in stunned shock, silently wondering if Buffy meant it in more of a �for now� type thing or more permanent. Shaking her head, Tara grabs a pair of cargo pants, underwear and a top. Deciding a hot shower would feel good right now.

***

Buffy looks at the top and looks at Tara. �Is this yours or Willow�s?�

Tara looks up from where she was finishing pulling her clothes out of the dresser drawers. �Mine, but it was shrunk in a load of wash. Willow wears it now.� Tara murmurs softly, her eyes shadowed.

Buffy grunts quietly and places the item back in the closet, silently wondering if she would be better off to let Tara pick out what items are hers. Going through the rest of the clothes, Buffy pulls out what are obviously Tara�s items and sets them on the bed in her pile while pulling out the questionable items and setting them in another pile so Tara can sort them. Kneeling down in the bottom of the closet, she pulls out the boots that she knows are Tara�s along with the small chest she�d remembered seeing in Tara�s dorm room one of the time�s she�d visited the Wiccan when she and Willow had first started dating.

Tara finishes going through all the drawers and looks over to where Buffy�s kneeling in the closet and running her hands over her small keepsake chest. Swallowing hard at the sight of the lost looking slayer, she makes her way over to the woman. �Come on, Buffy. Maybe we should take a break.�

�No. I want you to have your stuff out of here, so you don�t have to come back into this room.� Buffy shakes her head and unconsciously growls at the thought of what Willow had done to the kind blonde.

�Buffy�� Tara starts and stops, not knowing for sure how she wants to ask Buffy about her comment earlier that day.

Buffy lifts the box and moves it out of the closet before turning to look at the Wiccan. Seeing the confused and worried look on Tara�s face, Buffy quickly closes the short distance between them, grasping Tara�s warm hands in hers, sighing at the feeling of calmness slowly coming into her from Tara. �What is it, Tara?�

�Why do you want me to stay?� Tara finally questions softly, raising her eyes to look into beautiful hazel eyes that are finally starting to show a flicker of emotion in them again. Something besides anger finally coming to life in their depths.

�You let me be me. I yelled and let my anger out, and you let me. You didn�t tell me that everything is going to be perfect and that I should be happy because I�m alive. In a weird sort of way, I think you understand.� Buffy finally admits her eyes distant. �And you aren�t going to try and make everything better, or how you think I should be. If it takes me a week you�ll give me a week, if it takes a year for me to get better I think you would probably give me a year.�

�I�ll give you all the time you need, sweetie. I would love to be able to make the pain, hurt and anger go away. But that�s something only time and you can do. But I promise you, if you want me there, I�ll be with you every step of the way.� Tara offers softly.

�You�re the only person I can really stand to be around.� Buffy looks at Tara, the pain obvious in her eyes.

�Were you s-serious about w-wanting me to stay with you?� Tara hesitantly waves her hand towards Buffy�s room.

Buffy�s hands clench tightly as she remembers waking up twice the night before. Both times Tara had whispered for her to go back to sleep that everything would be okay while rubbing her back. Knowing that the Wiccan was still asleep, and even then she was worried about her, making Buffy want to keep her there at all costs. Plus the fact that last night was the first time she�d really felt warm and comfortable since she�d come back. �Yes. Please.�

Tara reaches up to brush a gentle finger down Buffy�s hollow cheek and nods her head. �I don�t know how well this is going to go over, but if that�s what you want and need, I�m here.�

Buffy breathes out a sigh of relief even as she leans into the barely there touch. Not caring about what might happen, how it will look or who it will hurt, just knowing she needs Tara to stay.

Tara smiles softly as she hears a quiet rumble coming from Buffy�s stomach. �Make a deal with you. If you don�t mind taking these things and putting them on your bed for me to put up later I�ll run downstairs and throw together an omelet for you.�

�I would assume you meant to say for both of us.� Buffy�s voice is low with warning.

Tara sighs and nods her head. �Okay an omelet for both of us, then.�

Buffy growls a little. �If we�re sharing better be a big omelet.� Buffy smirks as Tara rolls her eyes. Grabbing some of the items, Buffy heads to her bedroom while Tara mumbles on her way to the kitchen.

***

Tara flips the large omelet, giving it a few extra minutes as she sprinkles some additional cheese on top. Grabbing the toast out of the toaster and buttering it to put on the plate with the others. Sliding the toast onto the island along with the large glass of milk for Buffy and the smaller glass of juice for herself, Tara slides the omelet onto a plate and turns off the stove. Cutting a small section of the omelet for herself, she places it on her plate before calling out to Buffy.

Buffy smiles hearing Tara call her name as she finishes hanging Tara�s clothes up in the closet. �Damn, what is going on with me? And why does just hearing her voice make me feel that much better?� Buffy shakes her head as it occurs to her that spending last night and this morning with the blonde Wiccan has made her the happiest she�s been since being brought back. Pushing those thoughts away for the moment, she trots down the stairs and looks at the large omelet on her plate to the smaller section on Tara�s. �Aren�t you going to need more than that?�

�No. Between the omelet and a piece of toast or two, that�ll be more than enough for me.� Tara smiles softly at the slayer as Buffy settles across from her and grabs her fork to dig in with one hand while reaching for a piece of toast with the other.

Buffy makes quick work of the omelet, not realizing how hungry she was until she�d finished it and the rest of the toast. Downing her milk, she licks her lips and pats her stomach as it seems to be saying a thank you for feeding it. �That was good, Tara. Thanks.�

�Would you like another one?� Tara murmurs surprised to see Buffy eating that much as the slayer usually picks at her food instead of eating it. Smiling as she watches Buffy hesitate before shaking her head, Tara reaches across and squeezes her hand gently. �It won�t take but a couple minutes to throw another one together, sweetie. I already have all the toppings chopped up and in containers in the refrigerator.�

Buffy finally nods her head. �Please, if you don�t mind.�

�Of course I don�t mind.� Tara shakes her head at the slayer and finishes her last bite of toast before grabbing the eggs and rest of the items out of the refrigerator to make another omelet. �Would you like a couple more pieces of toast, also?�

�I�ll get it.� Buffy stands to walk over to the toaster, placing a couple pieces of bread in it before watching as Tara tosses the fresh mushrooms, diced onions, tomatoes, green peppers and ham into the omelet before liberally sprinkling the cheese over all of it. �Why omelets? I know you usually fix pancakes.�

�Dawnie always wants pancakes.� Tara grins crookedly at the slayer over her shoulder. �I don�t mind making them, but occasionally I want something different to eat.�

�Well, I won�t complain no matter what you fix.� Buffy smiles back at the blonde. Slowly becoming serious, Buffy�s brows furrow as she looks at Tara. �Do you mind staying with me? I just realized I pretty much ordered you to without giving you much of a choice.�

Tara looks in surprise at Buffy before glancing down at the omelet as she considers the slayer�s words. �Do you m-mean in a s-sleeping with you way? A just staying h-here in the h-house with W-w-willow way? Or here period?�

Buffy runs her hand roughly over her forehead at hearing Tara stutter again. The woman had relaxed as the morning progressed and didn�t stutter at all, now it�s coming back full force. Hating the fact of making her uncomfortable, Buffy butters the toast automatically after they pop up. �Pretty much all the above, I guess.�

�I�m n-not going to l-lie, Buffy. Being around W-w-w-willow�� Tara stutters horribly over her ex-girlfriends name again. Taking a deep breath to try and settle her nerves, she gently folds the omelet and places the rest of the cheese on top before finally continuing. �It�s g-going to be hard. I�m afraid she�s g-going to th-think I want to get b-back together with her.�

Buffy unconsciously clenches her hands into fists at the thought of Tara and Willow together, not understanding where the streak of fear and anger is coming from, she slowly relaxes. �Do you possibly want to get back together with her in the future?�

Tara looks sadly at Buffy as she reaches for the slayer�s plate on the island and sighs. �Buffy, I w-wish I could answer that. In the future, I can�t say, all I can say is that r-right now there is no way that I can be with her. I c-can�t t-trust her. It would be s-something that w-would take months, if n-not l-longer for her to re-build. B-but I w-will always w-wonder�� Tara trails off as she turns and slides the omelet onto Buffy�s plate and turns the stove off. Setting the plate on the island, Tara shrugs as she looks at Buffy.

�Can I say something that probably is going to sound worse than I mean it to?� Buffy gently chews on her bottom lip as she looks at the sad Wiccan. As Tara looks at her and slowly nods her head, Buffy places the toast on the island and closes the distance between them to hug Tara. �I don�t want you to go back to Willow.� Hearing the quiet gasp of surprise, Buffy holds Tara in her arms. �That may have come out sounding wrong, but if you can�t trust her, I don�t want you to go back to her just because of your past relationship. Or because you feel like you have to. Only do it if you�re completely comfortable and at ease with her. If you have any doubts, then you don�t trust her completely. And I don�t want to see you hurt again.� Buffy admits softly, her body slowly relaxing into Tara�s as the Wiccan hugs her back tightly and her chin hooks over her shoulder.

�You know, she�ll p-probably think there�s s-something going on b-between us, if I�m s-staying in your r-room.� Tara murmurs closing her eyes at the feeling of the slayer holding her almost like she never wants to let her go.

�So?� Buffy mumbles as she buries her face in Tara�s neck and closing her eyes as she soaks up the warmth and caring she can literally feel almost like a physical presence coming from Tara.

Tara blinks in surprise at the single word, before squeezing Buffy tightly. �Eat your omelet, sweetie before it gets cold.�

Buffy smiles at the conflicting actions and words. While Tara�s telling her to eat, she�s holding her even tighter as if not wanting to let her go. Gently patting Tara on the back, Buffy whispers softly. �We�ll get through this together, Tara. I don�t know how or when, but I have faith in you.�

�Us.� Tara mumbles taking a deep breath and releasing the slayer. �Eat, sweetie.� Tara points to the island as she turns and grabs the gallon of milk out of the refrigerator, refilling Buffy�s glass. Putting it back inside the refrigerator, she runs the dishwater.

�I�ll do the dishes, Tara.� Buffy waves her fork at the Wiccan. �Sit down and relax.�

Tara sighs, turning off the water and sitting down at the island watching as Buffy makes short work of the omelet and toast. �I�m probably going to need to make a r-run to the grocery store to stock the refrigerator.�

�I need to visit the bank and see what the finances look like for the house.� Buffy admits quietly, knowing that with everything that happened after her mother died and Glory that things might not be doing that well. The urge to sweep it under the carpet and act like it doesn�t exist going through her, but knowing she can�t put it off any longer.

�I think W-w-willow put all your p-paperwork in the hutch in the dining room.� Tara murmurs softly her eyes sad. �I don�t know what has been handled and done, and not done. But if you want my help, I�m here for you.�

Buffy swallows and nods her head. �Thanks, Tara. All I know is that the majority of mom�s insurance policy went to cover what the medical insurance didn�t when she was in the hospital. I didn�t really do anything else.�

�We�ll work it out, sweetie.� Tara offers quietly as Buffy starts gathering the dishes. �I�m going upstairs to finish up.�

�I�ll be up after doing the dishes. Thanks again for breakfast.� Buffy smiles as she feels Tara�s hand grip her shoulder.

Tara makes her way up the stairs, turning into Willow�s room as she double-checks it first. Finding a couple hair pieces and one of her shirts, she takes them into Buffy�s room, surprised to see that it looks like Buffy had already put up the majority of the items. Opening the closet, Tara smiles softly at the sight of all of her clothes hanging neatly on one side with the slayer�s on the other. Adding the shirt to the closet, Tara quickly looks through the clothes and sighs when they�re all hers.

Curiously opening drawers Tara smiles softly at the sight of her more sensible underwear taking up residence by Buffy�s lack of underwear. Still silently wondering how the slayer can wear g-strings, the thought of the cloth being between her butt cheeks making Tara frown, knowing she doesn�t like it when her panties give her wedgy, imagining the small scraps of cloth feeling like a permanent wedgy.

Picking up her boxes she finishes putting away what items Buffy hadn�t gotten to, while moving all her magical items to her small chest Buffy had set down in the corner of the room. Silently wondering if the slayer wanted it to stay there, or if she just wanted to wait and make room in the closet for the item.

Kneeling in front of the chest, Tara�s fingers gently touch the different crystals, centering stones and her Book of Shadows that had been in her family for as long as anyone can remember. Opening the book, Tara reverently turns the pages until she comes to where her mom had written in it. Letting her fingers trail over the beautiful writing, Tara sighs quietly. �Oh, mama. I could use your guidance right now.� Tara whispers, tears coming to her eyes as she thinks about Willow the woman she had loved, to the small blonde slayer that has wiggled her way deep into her heart over the past couple years, and with what�s happening now� Tara shakes her head at those thoughts. �She needs a friend, and she�s not interested in anything but friendship.� Tara whispers softly to herself before slowly closing the book and shutting the chest.

***

Buffy settles down at the dining room table with the paperwork from the bank and all the paperwork from the hutch, trying to make heads or tails out of it while Tara finishes putting away the rest of the groceries while throwing a roast in the oven for dinner. Smiling as she remembers Tara running her out of the kitchen and saying she could put the items away.

Running a hand roughly through her hair, Buffy tries to work her way through the mortgage loan papers, becoming more and more confused. Setting them aside, she looks at the balance in the checking account, sighing as she realizes she�s going to have to do something soon. The mortgage payment being automatically taken out having almost depleted the account, making her close the savings account and transfer the rest of the money into the checking. Tara having insisted on paying for the groceries actually making her breath a sigh of relief.

Coming across her mom�s death certificate, Buffy stops as a streak of pain and heartache shoots through her. Swallowing back the tears, she runs a finger over her mother�s name before gently setting it aside. Looking at the bills, Buffy realizes either Tara or Willow had been keeping up with the rest of the bills. Staring at the pile of papers for a few minutes, Buffy finally rests her forehead against the table, feeling a headache coming on from not being able to understand the legal jargon.

***

Tara walks into the dining room, stopping at the sight of the obviously confused and hurting slayer. Seeing Joyce�s death certificate sitting by itself at the top of the table with the other piles of papers spread out around the slayer, Tara feels tears coming to her eyes. Gently kneeling beside Buffy, Tara runs her fingers gently through the slayer�s hair. �Want help, sweetie?�

�Please. I don�t know what any of this shit says.� Buffy mumbles, not raising her head. �All I�m doing is giving myself a headache from hell.�

�Shhh.� Tara continues to run her fingers soothingly through Buffy�s hair. �I�ll look through it, honey. I had to d-deal with it b-before myself.� Tara admits softly, leaning up to press a soft kiss on Buffy�s head. Remembering how her father had been completely lost when her mom had died, and she�d had to take care of all the arrangements for everything. Her brother being useless and belligerent at the time. Not wanting to think about her controlling father, and how much worse he became when her mom became sick, Tara pats Buffy on the back. �Why don�t you g-go relax while I look through this?�

Buffy nods her head as she slowly lifts it and stands. Walking towards the living room, she stops and looks back at Tara. Seeing the blonde is watching her from where she�s still kneeling by the chair, Buffy searches the sad blue eyes. Not really knowing how to say thanks to Tara, she sighs in relief as Tara smiles understandingly at her.

Tara silently watches Buffy finally finish leaving the dining room. Feeling the heartache coming from the slayer and the relief that she�s going to stay here and help her, Tara sighs softly. �I�ll be here for you, Buffy. No matter what, as long as you need me, I�m here. Family.� Tara whispers the last word softly remembering how the slayer had welcomed her into their group.

Slowly standing Tara sits down in the seat Buffy had vacated and picks a pile to start reading over the legal documents and papers.
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