Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Out Of Memory, Loss	By : pixel2817 Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Angel(us)/Xander > Angel(us)/Xander Views: 5977 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or AtS. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Author: pixel
Title:Out of Memory, Loss.
Chapter:2/?
Pairing: Xangel
Rating: NC17
Feedback: always welcome
Concrit much appreciated and possibly needed
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is still owned by Joss et al ~ anything new is
mine.
Warnings/Squicks: Willow bashing, violence, light BDSM

Beta(s): don’t have one
Distribution: hell, if anyone wants it just take it. Just drop me a line so I can
take a look.

Summary :- This came from a couple of plot bunnies/challenges I saw awhile
back. I’m sorry I don’t remember where, but thanks for the ideas.

1)Tabula Rasa wasn’t the first time Willow cast memory spells on Xander,
and they all broke with the crystal.
2)Xander has left Sunnydale at some previous point and they had no idea
where he’d gone. Willow calls AI for help and Xander answers the phone.

This is set post Tabula Rasa BTVS and Ats Season 3 up to Billy, Darla never
comes back and there is no Connor, mainly ‘cos he just doesn’t fit this story.

Chapter One

Sunnydale ~ Present Day

Willow just stood, phone in hand, she couldn’t talk, could barely breath, Xander; that had been Xander on the phone, She could hear Angel asking what she wanted, but wasn’t able to think clearly enough to reply.

“Willow, what’s wrong?”

Willow turned to look at her friend, who was watching her warily, “Buffy……Xander…..Xander answered the phone.”

Buffy’s face was wracked with guilt and she walked away, she’d had to choose a side when everything had gone wrong with her friends, but the pain of losing Xander never seemed to ease.

Realising that neither of the girls were up to dealing with anything right now, Spike grabbed the phone from Willow’s unresisting hands, “Whelp, what did you do to Red?” He was shocked to hear his Sire growl at him down the phone.

“Spike?”

Shit, he’d known he’d have to deal with Angel when they’d decided to call for help, but hadn’t expected to have to talk to him so soon. “What do you want Peaches?”

“You called us, remember?”

“Right, we did. Got a situation here.”

“I’d never have guessed, thought you’d just called up to chat. Just tell me what you want Spike, I don’t have time for games.”

“Demon.”

“Demon on the Hellmouth, now there’s a surprise.”

“Dammit Peaches, are you gonna help or what?”

“Might help, if you actually tell me what’s going on and stop calling me that stupid fucking name.”

“It’s a Hyneako, from the deep dimensions, don’t rightly know how it managed to get here, but it’s got itself a plan. Wants an apocalypse and it’s got this whole ritual sorted. We couldn’t stop the first part, took us that long to figure out what was going on, but to complete the second part it needs the blood of a Slayer. It knows Buffy, and it’s got every damn demon in town after her. She’s good but she can’t keep winning. We need to figure a way to take this thing out completely. If we don’t everyone and everything will be gone.”

“Demon wants to kill Buffy, so explain to me why you’re trying to keep her alive, last time I saw you, you’d have been cheering the thing on. I mean how many times have you tried to kill her?”

“Not the same you great git, ‘sides you were the one who had world ending ambitions and I helped her stop you, didn’t I?”

“You just wanted Dru back. Never could keep hold of her could you? I hear she’s given up on you again”

Spike really didn’t want Angel to think too much about why he was helping out, it was going to be bad enough when his Sire got to the Dale, and being reminded of how easily Angel had taken Dru from him was doing nothing for his temper.
“Look, I don’t want the bleeding world ending, still got things I want to do, don’t I. Are you going to come down here and help or what?”

“No.”

“What you’re just going to fucking let us die. Let her die.”

“Much as I love the idea of a Spike free world, that wasn’t what I meant. You’re going to come here.”

“Why the hell would we want to do that?”

“You said the Hyneako has control of all the demons in Sunnydale, and it knows the town; it’s dug in there, had time to prepare. It doesn’t know LA and if you leave and bring Buffy here, it’ll have to waste time tracking her down again, that’ll give us time to figure out what to do.”

“They’re not going to like it.”

“Tough shit, you need our help, it’s gonna be on our terms. I’m not getting my people killed for you.”

“Your people….that include Red’s missing boy? Seemed to set her in a right spin, when he answered your phone.”

“You’ll meet my people when you get here, just make sure you have that damn witch under control, I think for a second she’s screwing with any of mine and I’ll put her in the ground.”

“You still got the soul attached?”

“What?”

“Just the poofy version of you doesn’t usually go round threatening to kill the good guys, ‘specially if they’re human.”

“Still got the soul Childe, but I will not let her threaten what’s mine, and I’m not so sure she still qualifies as one of the white hats anymore. Just load them up and get them here, we’ll be expecting you tomorrow night.”

Spike looked at the now dead receiver, wandering exactly why his Sire was sounding so much more like Angelus these days; and trying to figure out how he was going to explain to the others that he’d just agreed to take them to LA. Buffy was not going to be pleased.

The Hyperion ~ Present Day

Angel looked at his family, aware that despite the false air of nonchalance they were displaying, they’d been listening to every word he’d spoken. He wandered how he was going to explain this to them, how he was going to make them understand that this was for the best, but before he could utter a word, Cordelia’s raised voice echoed through the room.

“Have you completely lost your mind?”

“Cordelia it isn’t that simple. We can’t….”

Interrupting him mid explanation his Seer continued to shriek, “You just invited that bitch Buffy, your psychotic Childe and little miss wonder witch to LA. Did you get hit in the head once too often? Or are you just trying to get us all killed?”

Wincing at the sheer volume Cordelia could display when she wanted to, Angel tried again to explain, “It’s an apocalypse Cordelia, we don’t help them; everyone dies, including us.”

“Fine so we kill the bad guys, save the world. In case you forgot we do that all the time. Doesn’t explain why you’d bring them here.”

“The demon needs Buffy’s blood for the ritual, if we don’t protect her….apocalypse.”

Angel knew that in the end he could count on Cordelia to understand, right now she just needed to vent. It wasn’t her he was worried about. Shifting his gaze to the couch he could see how badly Xander and Tara were taking the news. Tara was terrified, he knew she was close to running again, and he wasn’t going to let her do that. Xander he could hardly read, the tension was still there but his lover had clamped down hard on his emotions and right now Angel was just too anxious himself, to be able to tell what Xander was feeling.

Approaching the couch Angel crouched down and took one of Tara’s hands in his, rubbing her palm gently, trying to offer his reassurance, “Tara, she can’t touch you here. None of us are going to let her hurt you again. We’ll re-enforce the wards on the hotel; make it so she can’t perform any magic here. We will never leave you alone with her, I promise. If there was any other way, I’d have taken it, you’ve got a life here now; don’t let her chase you away from that.”

“I…i…I’m not sure I’m strong enough for this.”

Everyone in the room felt saddened by the lost tone n Tara’s voice, she’d grown in confidence so much since she came to them, it was the first time in months any of them had her stutter like that.

“You are strong enough Tara, she can’t change that. This is your home now, don’t let her chase you out.”

“I..i…I need some time to think, I won’t leave but I n..n..need to be alone right now.” The distraught witch headed upstairs to her room, and everyone cursed the fact that just the idea of Willow’s presence could upset the young woman so badly. They were all protective of Tara, she was the gentlest of souls and any of them would do anything to make sure she was never hurt or upset. This, however, was not something they could take on for her; it was her pain to deal with.

“Maybe it’s time she faced Willow.”

They all turned incredulous eyes on Fred, who continued, “She’ll never really be free until she confronts her face to face, she needs to prove to herself that she can walk away. Up to now she’s just been running, she needs to know that Willow has no hold on her, or she’ll not be able to move on. Right now she’s still defining her life by what happened in the past, and Tara has to get beyond that if she’s going to be herself again.”

“You could be right Fred, but Tara should have been able to decide when to do this, if she isn’t ready to deal with this yet, it could break her.”

“She’s ready Wes, but she’d never have made the decision on her own, she doesn’t believe in her own strength. I’m gonna go sit with her and make sure she’s ok.”

Angel had only been half-listening to the conversation, but was glad Fred was going to check on Tara; it meant he could concentrate on Xander. A Xander who’d not said a single word since Angel had got off the phone; a quiet Xander was never a good thing. He was pretty sure they could all make sure that Tara knew she was safe, keep the girl from running, but Xander was another matter. If he decided to, he could leave in an instant and Angel wasn’t sure he’d survive that, but he also didn’t know how to stop it.

Again it was Cordelia who cut right to the heart of things, “So Xander, you going to be ok with this? There’ll be no disappearing on us. You hear. Or I’ll drag you back and make you wish you’d never been born.”

“Nice Cordy, threaten the guy; that’s sure to make him want to stick around.”

“Xander doesn’t expect me to be all nice Gunn, in fact if I started coddling him he’d probably think I was possessed or something.”

As they continued to bicker in the background, Angel tuned them out, Xander still hadn’t spoken, hadn’t even looked at him. This was really not good; he had to figure out a way to reach him fast, he refused to let everything fall apart because of the past.

“Faith.”

“What?”
“Duh?”
“Who?”

Angel, Cordy and Gunn spoke simultaneously.

“You said the demon needed Buffy’s blood. Right?”

Ok Xander was talking, not making a lot of sense, but at least he wasn’t silent anymore. “Yeah that’s what Spike said.”

“Buffy’s blood or the blood of a Slayer?”

“Oh shit!”

“What?” This time it was just Cordelia and Gunn talking in concert.

“Faith’s a Slayer too, and she’s a sitting duck in jail. If this thing can track Buffy by her powers, it’ll probably be able to find Faith too. Bringing Buffy here brings the demon here, we might have as well have painted a target on Faith’s back. Shit why didn’t I think of that before?”

“You were too busy worrying about the apocalypse, snarking at your Childe and panicking about the exes all coming for a visit.”

Well at least if Xander could still joke he wasn't completely falling apart.

“So explain to me the part where we’re worried about Faith, ‘cos hasn’t she tried to kill most of us?”

“Cordelia, focus. Apocalypse. End of the world, more to the point the demon kills Faith and we all die.”

“Fine so we can’t let her get killed, how exactly are we going to help her, she’s all locked up.”

Xander glanced towards the stairs and the room where Fred and Tara were holed up, “Actually we might have a way to get her out. Tara and I talked about it, in case we ever needed to. Tara can use magic to alter the records and make the authorities think that Faith’s been given parole. That way she’ll legitimately be free.”

Angel was surprised that Tara and Xander had done this without telling anyone, and was a little hurt that he hadn’t known about it. Realising what Angel was thinking, Xander continued, “We thought about it right after we left the Dale. We didn’t know how far Willow would go to get us back and we weren’t sure Buffy was thinking too clearly, I know we weren’t. I’d heard about how you’d gotten Faith to turn herself in, that she was trying to make amends and I figured she might be willing to help us. After we got together with you guys, there wasn’t any need for us to go to her, so I guess we never really thought about it again. I’m gonna go talk to Tara, see what she needs for the spell.”

“They won’t be here ‘til tomorrow night, you don’t have to do this now.”

“Look angel she might need something strange, you know how her potions are, better to get started right away.”

“Wes can ask her, he knows more about the mojo than us any way.”

“Fine. Wes go easy on her Ok?”

“Of course, Xander we all care about her.”

“Sorry Wes, I do know, I’m just a little overprotective tonight.” His words were reassuring but Xander’s face was tight with worry as he watched Wes go up to Tara’s room.

“Cordy, why don’t you and Gunn take off, you’ll want to be rested before this starts tomorrow.”

“Ok Angel, we can take a hint,” Cordelia grabbed Gunn and headed for the door, stopping to kiss Xander gently as she passed, “You sure you’re ok sweetie? We can stay if you need us.”

“I’m fine Cordy, and I’ll call if I do need you.”

“Just make sure you do. And you,” poking Angel in the chest to emphasize her point, “You take care of him.”

Angel watched them go, leaving him alone with Xander, muttering under his breath, “You don’t have to tell me to do that, it’s all I want any way.” Then turning back to his lover, he continued, “Xander, are you ok? I know how hard this must be for you. “

“I’m fine.” His words saying one thing, but his emotionless voice saying something completely different.

“You’re not fine. We need to talk about this, how you’re going to cope with seeing them.”

“We really don’t.”

“I know you never told us everything Xander, never told me everything. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in. I love you, you don’t have to do this alone.”

“You’re in Angel, you know that, but right now there’s nothing we need to talk about. Christ we can’t know every little thing about each other.”

“This isn’t a little thing Xander, this is about why you came here. It’s what made you who you are now. You can’t just ignore this, they’ll be here tomorrow.”

“I’m not ignoring it, I just don’t see the need to over-analyse everything right now. Tara’s the one we need to look after.”

Angel could feel Xander pulling away from him, shutting down. He was terrified that Xander would revert to the closed and lost man he’d been when they’d found him all those months ago. “Xander, please talk to me, tell me what your thinking.”

“That’s just it Angel; I don’t want to think, not tonight, and I really don’t want to talk about this or I might go crazy. So I need to forget, to lose my self for awhile; you can keep pushing ‘til I crack or you can help me forget.”

Angel realised he wasn’t going to win this, not now. He wasn’t giving up, just postponing things. He wasn’t going to let Xander walk away from everything they’d built, not without a fight; but for now he was willing to wait. “I’ll do whatever you want Xander, you know that. What do you need?”

“I need to forget, just for awhile, I want to feel not think, so I figure either we go out and find ourselves some demons to kill, lose ourselves in the fight.”

“Or?”

“Or you take me downstairs and fuck me through the mattress ‘til I’m too far gone to think at all.”

Angel just grabbed him and headed for the stairs, definitely door number two.

tbc…..
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Out Of Memory, Loss