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He's Back	By : lisay Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 3560 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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TITLE: He's Back

AUTHOR: Lisa Drexel

EMAIL: lisayd@swbell.net

SUMMARY: What would've happened if Angelus really had lost his soul during the episode, Enemies during Season 3? M/F, M/M, F/F

RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: I don't own nothing--except for the plot--and you know what
they say about there hasn't been an original thought in over 2000 years...so, even that's in question, but I did try my best. :) The rest of
it--characters and universes are owned by Fox Television, WB network,
Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon...I'm just borrowing them for my own sick

pleasures...

FEEDBACK: Of course!

Chapter Two

As the two walked towards Spike's car, Buffy couldn't help but remember the other two times that Spike was fighting with her and not against her. Even though the last time he had been in Sunnydale, he had been drunk as a skunk and kidnapped Willow and Xander, still when her, Angel and Spike had faced Trick's boys, the two vampires and slayer fought side by side as if they had done so for centuries.

She shouldn't have been surprised�really. Considering that Angel had chosen both of them for companions�maybe even lovers, if what her little voice told her about Angel and Spike was true. Although Angel liked to claim that Angelus was a totally different entity from the souled Angel�Buffy had her doubts. Ever since she had met Willow's vampire counterpart and Angel's reaction to the other Willow, she secretly believed that there was more to a vampire than just a demon. Besides, how could anyone explain Spike and his ability to love if all there was to vampirism was a demon animating a corpse?

Sighing, she glanced over at the said vampire, noting the clenching of his jaw and the tenseness that seemed to radiate out from him. He was as upset about this as I am, she thought to herself. Although she shouldn't have been surprised by that revelation--especially since the truce they had made the year before--she was--surprised, that is. Spike had risked everything that he had worked so hard to regain after last year's 'helltime'--as she had mentally dubbed it--to keep Angelus from returning.

He hates Angelus as much as I do. A familiar but sharp pain hit her heart, threatening to send her into a panic. Ever since she had returned home earlier, she intermittently had felt it. It was like her soul was screaming out in protest...

It was just like the year before when she had found out Angel had lost his soul.

He's gone...somehow she knew it was true, even though she had no proof...just what her gut was telling her. Somehow Faith and the Mayor managed to break Willow's unbreakable curse.

She clenched her eyes shut and stopped walking, feeling her heart race. "He's gone."

She felt a cool hand grab her arm and her eyes snapped open. For just a second, she thought it was Angel and her eyes watered. Blinking back the tears, she realized it was Spike and a wave of disappointment crashed down on top of her.

"Slayer?"

Biting her bottom lip, she shook her head. "We're too late, Spike. I can feel it."

He dropped his hand and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. After lighting it, he took a deep drag, and he nodded once. "I hope you're wrong, luv, but�"

"You feel it too."

He shrugged and started walking again. "I don't know what I feel, Slayer. I haven't slept in three days�I haven't had a decent meal since San Diego and all I've thought of was how much I wanted to tear my sire apart limb by limb if he managed to find his demon self again." He opened the car door and tossed his cigarette aside. "Neither of us are Dru�so let's drive our little butts over to the mansion and find out for sure instead of mind-fucking ourselves over what-ifs in the middle of the street."

She chuckled softly despite the rising terror she felt. "What do you know? You really aren't a stupid demon after all."

"Ah luv, I'm full of surprises," he said smirking as he got into the car and leaned over to unlock her side.

She opened the door and a wave of stale cigarettes, vodka, tequila, blood and pot hit her. "Jeez Spike, when was the last time you cleaned out your car? 1980?"

"Fuck you, Slayer." He turned the ignition and the Desoto roared to life.

"In your dreams, Blondie," she snapped as she turned to her side, one arm hanging onto the seat and the other bracing against the dashboard.

~~~

A block away from the mansion, he pulled over to the side and turned off the ignition, ignoring the panic that he had been fighting since leaving the Slayer's house. It wasn't until he was surrounded by the Slayer and Joyce's scent as well as the Summer's own personal atmosphere and then wasn�t, did he realize what it was that was bothering him since he arrived in Sunnyhell.

He felt Drusilla.

It was her essence that called him when he began his drive through Sunnyhell.

He might as well admit it to himself�he lost her a long time ago. Her madness�the very thing that he loved-�needed Angelus' far more than she needed Spike's love. And if she had to choose�their sire would win every time.

Drusilla was Angelus'�to punish, to have, dominate, manipulate and own. Not love, because Angelus had never been capable of that. But for Dru, that didn't matter. She needed what Angelus gave her for more than she wanted Spike's love.

"Bloody hell," he snapped, tearing his keys out of the ignition. He turned to the Slayer and found that she had been looking his way, but her eyes had a faraway look about them. Ignoring the tinge of empathy he felt, he thought of how he was going to break this last bit of info to her. It didn't take a seer to know that she would instantly think that he was planning to betray her once he mentioned his Dark Princess' name. Rolling his eyes at his broodiness, he took a deep breath and faced her. "Luv, Dru's here."

The Slayer's green eyes widened. "How?"

The vampire fought the urge to snap back at the slayer and answered honestly. "Knowing her, she probably set me up. Knew the moment I left and arranged for her own transportation up here."

She frowned, her eyes studying him suspiciously.

Why wasn't he surprised?

"You better not be fucking with me, Spike," she warned, her hold on her stake tightening.

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Come on, Slayer. You know me better than that."

She began gnawing on her lips. "I also know that you would do almost anything to keep her, too."

A wave of anger flooded him. "Except bring that wanker back!" he yelled, slamming a hand into the steering wheel nearly bending it. He shook his head, chuckling humorously. "I'm ashamed to admit it�but I hate him more than I love her."

She sighed, nodding. "I know. I hate him more than I love Angel." She looked down at her hands. "That's because he gets such a thrill out of destroying our love." She lifted her head, her eyes wet with fresh tears. "We've got to find out, Spike. We can't just sit here and dread it." She opened the car door and stepped out, grabbing her slaying bag before closing and locking the car door. "Let's go and at least find out�and kick some ass if we need to."

He quickly followed suit, and within a minute he was walking beside her, smoking another cigarette and ignoring his Dark Princess's siren call that had been tugging at his heart for the last hour.

~~~

The last person, or that is demon, she expected to see hiding behind a row of bushes in front of the mansion was Whistler. It had been over nine months since his last appearance in Sunnydale, and Buffy knew instantly, seeing him, meant that she had been right--Angelus was back. It was at that moment she felt her heart break and silently wondered if she would ever be able to love again.

Life was too cruel. Why couldn't she have at least one solid thing in her short life? All she wanted was to know that Angel was nearby�a phone call, or a short walk away. He was the only being alive�with the exception of Oz maybe--that understood what it was like to walk that fine line of evil and good. Of viciousness and gentleness. Of love and hate.

She took a deep breath and knelt beside the demon, motioning Spike to follow. "Whistler."

"Took you long enough. What were you two doing? Picking out china patterns?"

Spike growled, his eyes flashing.

Buffy silently thanked the vampire. She forgot how much the little demon irritated her. "Is it true? Is Angel gone?" she asked softly, her voice trembling.

The demon nodded. "They managed to get a soul-taker to perform the ceremony."

Buffy frowned. "I thought Giles knew the only demon that could do that and he owed him a favor."

Whistler sighed. "He did owe the Watcher a favor. It would've worked out fine if the lousy demon could keep his wife out of the Mayor's reach." The demon stood up and walked away from the mansion, signaling to Buffy and Spike to follow.

Once the three of them were far enough out of hearing range to whatever vampire patrols were circling the mansion, Whistler sighed. "We all underestimated the Mayor. And other factors," he said, glancing at Spike.

"You mean Drusilla."

The demon nodded. "I don't know everything, Spike, but I think you know by now, she set you up. She told you her vision to test you. From what I've heard tonight, if you hadn't left, she would've stayed with you�Angelus be damned."

"Fuck!" The vampire began pacing, his movements almost stiff�waves of rage emanating from him. "But she knew bloody well what the hell I was going to do! I never once apologized for helping the Slayer and I still don't regret it." He shook his head. "I still have wet dreams about pounding the pillock's skull in with that crowbar."

Buffy almost smiled at that as she turned and to look at the mansion�knowing that until a few hours ago, Angel had been there�and now he was gone.

"What about the curse? Can Willow perform it again?"

Whistler shook his head. "Not the curse�if she could find a restoration spell�maybe that would work. I don't think the curse will work again."

"Why the hell not?" Spike asked, as he leaned against a tree. "It's not as if it isn't still there in his body. It's always been there. It's just a matter of dominance."

"What?" Buffy whipped around, not believing her ears. "You mean his soul has always been there?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "I don't know what fairy tales those watchers been telling you, pet, but the soul doesn't leave the body when the demon enters�it's just subdued. That's why he had all that bloody guilt�because he was there�watching everything the demon did�but powerless to do anything to stop it."

Her mouth dropped open as she sent a few silent curses towards the watchers. "Is what he's saying true?" she asked Whistler. "Is this another lie told to young, naive girls to prepare them to go out and battle the evil of the world?"

Whistler glared at the vampire and nodded slowly. "You have to remember, Buffy, maybe a dozen or so Slayers have made it to their eighteenth birthday. They usually don't live long enough to worry about the moral implications of what they do."

"I gotta get out of here," she said as she shook her head as her mind whirled around in confusion. So many lies, she thought to herself picturing Travis and all his stiff watcher buddies sitting around a table discussing what truths to tell slayers once they were called. She couldn't help but wonder what other surprises were waiting for her in the years to come. That is, if she lived long enough to worry about it. "I can't do this tonight--not after...I just want to go home and cry now," she admitted unable to hide the hurt in its tone. "After I call Giles."

~~~

"Why the bloody hell are you here?"

"Balance, my man, balance."

Spike growled softly at the demon and turned to watch the Slayer disappear through the trees. Although he knew there was more to it than that, he was too exhausted to press the demon. "For once, I have to agree with the Slayer. There's nothing left to do tonight. I don't fancy myself meeting the sharp end of a stake�not when I haven't fed in over 24 hours. Plus, there's a bottle of tequila in my car that's calling my name. You can tell me the real reason tomorrow."

The vampire then followed the slayer to his car, leaving the demon to contemplate the balance of good evil in the world all by himself.

~~~

"Luv, wait up. I'm taking you home," Spike called as he watched her walk past his car down the street. Cursing under his breath, he took off and followed her, silently amazed that she managed to keep her emotions under control for as long as she had that night. "Slayer! Stop acting like an arse and get your butt back here!"

She stopped and whipped around, stake in hand. Her face red and puffy. "Fuck you, Spike! I'm in no mood to deal with you tonight. Go bother someone else. Hell, go eat and leave me. I don't even fucking care right now!" Her voice cracked as sob escaped her lips. "Shit! You're the last person I want to see me like this. For all I know, hatred be damned, tomorrow night you'll be over there rubbing all over your 'ho�trying to get back into Angelus' good graces." A sardonic laugh rang out. "Good graces�what a fucking oxymoron. Tonight I told Angel that I hated him and I wished he would just leave me the fuck alone.

"And guess what? He did. After all his struggles to fight his personal darkness�to find his way�to have it end like this....God, I want to kill her," she admitted running her fingers through her hair. "Until just now, I felt sorry for her. I saw a part of myself in her. If my mother died or if my parent's were like Xander's�she could've been me. Or I could've been her. I could even work on forgiving her for trying to kill Xander. She has issues with men." She shook her head, her body stiff and angry. "But this," she paused as she shook her head again--her arm flinging out, "I can't. I want her dead. I want another one called. Maybe the next one will fucking have some sense."

Her hand holding the stake dropped as her she bowed her head. Hearing her small cries, Spike inwardly sighed as a part of his undead heart went out to her. No matter what anyone thought�this slayer was the strongest of them all. What most considered a weakness was her strength�her love. He slowly approached her and once he could, he pulled the stake out of her grasp.

"Come on, luv, let me take you home," he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her back to his car.

"You know�I really want to hate you right now," she said softly. "But, I can't." She shook her head looking defeated. "I can't do a lot of things, can I?"

He opened her side and gently pushed her into the car. Once inside, he turned to her, wanting to say something, but finding that he was all said out. What else was there other than 'I'm sorry' and somehow it just didn't seem fitting for a demon to apologize. So he took her home instead.
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