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The Butterfly Effect	By : cousinjean Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 27632 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Butterfly Effect

by cousinjean

*

Chapter Two

***

Willow spread a blanket on the ground beside the highway, just outside the fence that had been erected around the crater. While she and Dawn prepared the spell, Buffy walked along a length of the fence. It was surprisingly bare. Or maybe not so surprisingly. Somebody had dug out the Sunnydale welcome sign and hung it on the fence, but not before scratching out "dale" and painting "Hell" above it.

"Yeah, that's original," Buffy muttered.

She thought of pictures she'd seen on the news of other fences strung up around disaster sites, or bombing sites. They were always covered with flowers, cards, and other memorabilia to honor the dead. Here, there was nothing. She supposed that was a good sign that everybody had gotten out. There were no victims to honor. Only those who'd gone down fighting, and it was up to her to honor them.

Well, except of course�

A plastic bag had been woven through the chain link, with a letter inside. One word was scrawled on the front. Buffy could only make out the As on each end, but it was enough to recognize Xander's handwriting. She touched her fingers to the bag, careful not to disturb it. She ignored the momentary impulse to open and read it. Whatever was inside wasn't meant for her. It was between the two of them.

Before he left, she and Xander had talked about coming back to recover the remains, not only of Anya, but of the girls who hadn't been helped by becoming Slayers during the battle. Amanda, Cho-Ahn� girls who had come to Buffy expecting to be protected, but who had instead been forced to become warriors, just in time to die. But then they remembered the others. Buffy's mom. Tara. Miss Calendar. Molly, and Chloe, and all the other girls who hadn't made it to the end. And it seemed fitting to leave them. Fitting that Sunnydale, the town that had made Guinness for having more cemeteries than any other single town in the world, now served as one mass grave for those who hadn't survived it.

As for Spike... all that remained of him, Buffy carried in her pocket. And in her heart.

She looked out at the crater, suddenly wishing she'd brought some flowers or something, even if that did seem pretty lame, all things considered. It was hard to believe that she was about to go back, to see the town restored, and its people - not that she was allowed to interact with any of them. All the people they'd lost� they would still be alive. All of them. Well, except Jesse. That one still hurt, too, even though she hadn't known him all that well. He'd been the first friend she had failed to save. That sort of thing tended to stick with you. But all the rest�. It seemed a crime not to do anything about them while she had the chance. Though, according to Willow, it would be a bigger crime to save them.

Willow came up beside her. She, too, touched Anya's letter, before crouching down and laying a small pile of smooth pebbles at the base of the fence.

"Is that for the spell?" Buffy asked.

Willow stood up and gave a quick shake of her head. "Remembrance." She smiled a little. "It's a Jewish thing."

"Oh. Right."

"I've been wanting to do that for a while, but I haven't had a chance to get back here."

"It was a busy summer."

Willow nodded, and both women just stood for a moment, looking out at their former home, each lost in her own thoughts. Finally, Willow touched Buffy's arm. "The spell's all set. We're ready when you are."

"Then let's do it."

Buffy followed Willow over to the blanket, where Dawn walked around a circle of candles, waving around some kind of smoking herb.

"This stuff smells," she grumped, as Willow knelt inside the circle.

"Well, if you had gone to school like I told you to," said Buffy, "you wouldn't have to deal with it."

"Please." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Like I'd be able to focus, wondering all day if my sister was going to do something to negate my existence."

"No, don't worry about me, I'll be fine," Buffy deadpanned as she knelt to face Willow, turning her back to the crater. Then she frowned. "And thanks ever so much for that vote of confidence."

"You will be," said Willow. "Fine, I mean. I mean, it's a really easy mission. Just find Mudge before he can find the cross, slay him, and take back the book. Then you'll be back here and we can all go for pizza."

"Can we do Chinese instead?" asked Dawn. "I've been craving sesame chicken."

"Uh, sure."

"What if he doesn't have the book?" asked Buffy. "How important is it to get that back?"

"Well, if it fell into the wrong hands, that could be bad. It could undo everything. Besides, that's a condition of the spell. After Mudge is dead, the moment you touch the book, you'll end up back here. So, it's kind of imperative."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "And again I ask, what if I can't find the book? What if it gets destroyed or something? Then how the hell do I get back?"

"Huh." Willow frowned. "Good question."

"You are not about to tell me you didn't plan B bringing me home."

"Well, I mean, that possibility never really occurred to me�"

"But I thought you were big with the possibilities! Butterflies flapping their wings and all that connection crap!"

"Buffy, calm down. If you don't appear back right away, from our perspective at least, we'll know something's wrong, and we'll figure it out."

"Yeah," said Dawn. "Anyway, worst case scenario, you have to go hide out somewhere and lay low for five years."

Buffy stared at her sister in astonishment. "Okay, could you make that sound like less of a big deal?"

"What? So, you have to go find a remote beach to laze around on or something until it's time to come home. Doesn't sound so bad to me, and it's not like we'll have a chance to miss you."

"Well, if you put it like that�"

"So," interrupted Willow, "are we ready?"

Buffy sighed. "Yeah. Let's get this over with. So, where am I gonna end up? The cemetery?"

"Uh, yeah! You know, after you get there."

"Huh?"

Willow gave her an exasperated frown. "I told you, I can only move you through time, not space. Ideally we'd do this at the spot where you need to be, but that's kind of impossible, what with the giant crater and all."

"But that cemetery was in the middle of town. It's got to be at least three miles from here."

"What, suddenly you have something against walking?"

"No, but� what happens when I get the book? Is the ground just gonna disappear from under me?"

"Oh. Um�"

"Good question?" Buffy shook her head. "Willow, that crater's hundreds of feet deep. Even I can't survive a fall like that."

"Well, you'll just have to make sure you're outside of town when you take back the book."

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Maybe you could lure Mudge here before you kill him, or� Oh! You have that memory potion. You could just get Giles to help. He could drive you to this spot, and then hand you the book."

"Yeah, okay." Buffy nodded. "All right, then. Let's go."

"Be careful," said Dawn.

Buffy smiled. "I will. See you in, like, a minute."

"Hopefully, not even that long," said Willow, then closed her eyes and began to chant.

After a minute or two, Dawn looked like her arm was getting tired, and she half-heartedly flicked the bundle of herbs around with her wrist as she blew out a bored sigh. Buffy had to smile. Her little sister'd had to be so grown up all year; it was nice to see reminders that she was still just a kid. Nicer still that she could be. It made Buffy feel a hell of a lot better about her decision not to let Dawn join the others.

But after another minute of chanting, Buffy started to feel the boredom as she picked at a loose thread on the hem of her blouse. When she accidentally pulled it looser she grimaced and tried to tie it off. She considered asking if it was supposed to take so long, but few things pissed Willow off faster than getting interrupted during a spell. So Buffy kept her mouth shut, and focused on fixing her hem.

When the sky grew suddenly dark, Buffy automatically looked up. "Was that supposed to happen?" she asked, but when she looked to Willow for an answer, she saw instead a set of headlights coming right at her.

Buffy rolled out of the way and into a puddle. She sat there a moment, stunned, as a semi blew past her on the now intact highway, blowing more cold water into her face as it went by. As she sputtered, she became aware of water seeping into her underwear, and got up. She looked up at the night sky and was met with a face full of rain.

About every curse word she knew went through her head, most of them directed at Willow. But instead of voicing them she just sighed, wiped her eyes, and looked around to get her bearings. The welcome sign stood unmolested in its rightful place, beckoning her home. Buffy hugged herself against the rain and wind, wishing like hell that she'd worn a jacket, and slogged toward Sunnydale.

She'd gone probably half a mile when a car pulled over a little way ahead of her. Grateful, Buffy picked up her pace, but she halted as she recognized the old Beetle. As she tried to decide whether to just walk on past or to dash off into the woods, the passenger door swung open.

"Buffy?" Miss Calendar called from inside. "What are you doing out here?"

Buffy trudged up to the car. "Um�." Willow's spell dumped me here, and obviously she and I both suck at covering all of our bases, but considering time travel is kinda new territory for us, I guess I'll let it go and hey, wow, look at you, all alive and stuff. "Tracking a demon." She shrugged. "I lost it."

"Well, get in. You look miserable. Even the Slayer shouldn't be out on a night like this."

Buffy chewed on her lip for a moment. She really was miserable, and this would get her to town faster - all the better to beat Mudge to Du Lac's crypt. Surely a short little car ride wouldn't irrevocably alter the future. Not if she kept her mouth shut. She got in.

Miss Calendar - Jenny - reached into the back seat and grabbed a gym bag. "Here," she said, handing it to Buffy. "There should be a towel in there."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Jenny looked over her shoulder at the oncoming traffic while Buffy rummaged through the bag. She found the towel and dried her face, then took her hair out of its ponytail to wring it out.

Once they pulled back onto the road, Jenny glanced at Buffy, and did a double-take. "Did you get extensions?"

Buffy froze, and looked at her. "Huh?"

Jenny smiled. "Your hair. It's longer."

"Oh." Buffy quickly twisted it into a bun and secured it. "Yeah, but� just the clip-on kind. I was trying to decide whether I wanted to get real ones, but I don't think I will."

"Looks like you picked a really bad night to try them. But I'm sure they're really pretty when they're dry."

Buffy returned her smile. "Thanks."

"So this demon you were tracking, is it anything serious? Anything I can help with?"

"Nope. Just a random demon. Nothing I can't handle."

"You're sure?"

Buffy saw the genuine concern on her face, and a pang of grief struck her. Not just for what would happen to Jenny, but for the way things had been left between them. She turned away and looked out the window as her eyes welled up. "Um� yeah, I'm sure." She pointed to a street corner. "You can let me out up here."

"Here? You don't want me to take you home?"

"No! I� I think I saw my demon. I'd better go after it."

"All right." Jenny pulled over. "I guess a Slayer's work is never done."

Buffy's lips quirked into a rueful smile. "You can say that again." She grabbed the door handle, and paused to look one last time at Jenny. She opened her mouth to speak. Several things wanted to come out. Tell them about the curse. Don't work on the cure at the school. Don't work on it alone. Don't try to make it a surprise. Tell them. But instead she said, "Thanks. Again. For the ride, and the towel."

"Anytime."

"Yeah." Buffy shifted in her seat, but didn't get out. "Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about this."

Jenny frowned. "Why not?"

"Oh, you know how Giles worries. I don't really need another lecture. Also, I bowed out of hanging with the gang tonight. Thought I could have a 'me night,' but they probably wouldn't appreciate finding out I went patrolling instead." Wow, look at me. I can still lie to grownups. Dawn would be so proud.

"All right," said Jenny, smiling again. "Your secret's safe with me."

Buffy wanted to tell her that keeping secrets would only get her killed, but instead she got out of the car. As Jenny drove off, Buffy looked around and realized where she was. Just a few blocks from her house.

Her house, with her mother inside.

Her feet took a few automatic steps toward home, but she stopped herself. She had a mission. It wouldn't do to keep letting herself get distracted by ghosts. Best to get it over with and get back where she belonged. With one last, longing look toward Revello Drive, she forced herself to turn around and walk toward town.

She also forced herself to keep mental blinders on as she went. It was all too much� just being here, walking these streets� part of her wanted to slow down, drag her feet, and savor it. Not like she'd ever get to come back again. But she also wanted to run, get through town as fast as she could, end her mission and go home. Because this wasn't her home anymore, never would be again, and that hurt a lot more than she had thought it would.

Her focus became harder to keep once she reached town. Looking around at the main drag, it was almost like seeing it for the first time. The way it was lit up and bustling with life� Buffy thought it must bustle more than most other small towns at night bustled. She considered stopping at the Espresso Pump, ordering a mocha and sitting near the sidewalk and just watching it all happen. She'd never done that before. She was always too caught up with her life and problems, or those of her friends, or with the business of slaying to ever take time out to simply appreciate Sunnydale for what it was. The small town aspects, that is; not the hellmouthy demon pit aspects. Plus it would be nice to get in out of the rain.

But all she had to do was hang a right past the Sun Cinema, then go a few more blocks, and she'd be at the right cemetery. Find the cross, ambush Mudge, get the book and-

Damn. Get the book and go splat on the crater floor, that's what. She needed Giles. Her eyes automatically flicked toward the Magic Box, but it was way too soon for that. He was probably home. Unless he was at the library. Or out patrolling. With her sixteen-year-old self, whom she most definitely did not want to run into.

"Pick one, Buffy," she sighed, and turned toward his apartment.

She didn't realize that the route she'd chosen would also take her past the Bronze until it was too late. Okay, no big deal. All she had to do was hurry past. If she kept her head down, maybe nobody would recognize her. Even if they did, as long as they didn't talk to her, no big.

That is, unless they noticed she was in two places at once, like Xander might if he looked up from where he stood talking to her younger self just outside the door.

"Shit!" Buffy ducked into an alley. Man, talk about surreal. She could hear her own voice coming from around the corner. Like listening to a recording, except about a million times freakier. The younger version complained about a French assignment like it was the most dire thing ever. "Okay, you do remember the Master, right?" Buffy muttered, fighting the urge to rush out there and shake herself and tell her to be glad that was the worst thing she had to worry about tonight. Then she remembered some movie she'd heard Andrew talking about once where somebody from the future had touched their past selves and made the world implode, or something. Willow hadn't said anything like that might happen, but still. Probably a good idea to stay away from herself.

Willow's voice joined the others, and the urge to see them overwhelmed Buffy. She edged carefully around the corner and stole a peek, before pulling back into the shadows. God, they were all so young. She hadn't thought she'd ever been carefree, at least not since she was chosen, but this was probably the closest she'd come to it. Her heart ached for them, knowing what was too come. But she also felt a surge of pride, thinking of all that they'd survived. Together, for the most part.

All of these side trips down memory lane weren't doing her any good. Time to get a move on. She'd have to sneak around the back of the Bronze, then continue on to Giles's. At least now she knew he wasn't with her. She turned around and caught a face full of fist.

The punch dropped her. She sat on the ground, stunned, her eyes tearing up as she tried to get her bearings.

"That," announced an achingly familiar voice, "was for Drusilla."

Buffy blinked up at her assailant. "Sp� Spike?"

A boot kicked her in the side. "And that's for locking me and mine in that basement all night."

Buffy's head reeled and her heart raced. What the hell was he talking about? Drusilla� basement� And then she remembered. "Ford," she said.

He laughed. "Yeah. Shoulda heard the boy cry when Dru and I bit into him."

She marveled at how he could make her happy to see him and thoroughly disgusted by him, and really, really pissed off and annoyed, all at the same time. He stood over her, leering down at her in full game face, and as much as she wanted to cry and just reach out and touch him, she also felt an overwhelming need to wipe that grin off his face. So she kicked him in the stomach. As he doubled over, she sprang to her feet and shoved him backward into a stack of empty boxes.

They toppled over, and he toppled with them. Buffy kicked a box out of the way and stood over him. "What? You don't think killing my friend was payback enough?"

"Boy made a bargain. I kept my end of it." Spike threw a box at her, but she knocked it out of the way. "By the way, your friend completely sold you out."

"I was aware."

"Yeh, well, anyway." He got to his feet. "Nobody takes a stake to Dru."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. You can't just hand me a prime hostage like that and expect me not to-" The realization of what she was doing hit her like a cold slap to the face. She was bantering. With Spike. She'd fallen into it automatically, like the old habit that it was. And it felt so good. Like a piece of home she thought she'd never have again. She closed her eyes and turned away, grateful for the rain.

"Oi! Having a confrontation here, Pet. You with me?" He kicked away the rest of the boxes that lay between them. "No real point in killing you tonight if you don't have any fight in you."

She shook her head. "I'm not here to fight you, Spike. Not tonight."

"Oh, but you seem to think I'm giving you a choice." He stalked toward her. "Sorry, Love, but you'd be wrong ab-"

"Don't!" He stopped and looked at her, his lips pursed in that puzzled little frown of his. Buffy held up a finger. "Don't call me Love." She shook all over, but she could hardly even feel the cold anymore. "You don't mean it."

He opened his mouth to say something, but instead literally bit his tongue as he tilted his head and squinted at her. "What's with you tonight, Slayer? You seem� off. You and Soul Daddy on the outs? Let me guess, he said something depressing? Wanted to be alone with his big, brooding misery?" He rolled his eyes. "Pfft. Don't know why the great Nance doesn't just put himself out of everybody's misery once and for all. If I had a soul-"

"Shut up, Spike. Just shut. Up."

"Ho! Now we're getting somewhere." He smiled, exposing all his fangs. Buffy hadn't even noticed until now that he was still in vamp face. "Angel's not doing his bit to keep you happy, eh? Kinda surprising, considering what all Darla taught-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

She realized her lip was trembling. "Nothing," she said, and sniffed.

"Oh, bugger this. Let's fight already." He swung at her. She ducked, then shoved him into a wall, pinning him against it from behind. "Bloody� hey, when'd you get so strong?"

She turned him around and grabbed him by the lapels. "Spike, would you just-"

Someone was coming. Make that some ones. The wrong someones. Buffy shoved Spike into the shadows behind a Dumpster and clamped a hand over his mouth. He mumbled a protest against her palm. "Shhh!" she hissed, pressing a warning knee against his groin. His eyes narrowed, but his face melted into its human shape. Cold blue eyes bore into her, and she shuddered. She'd forgotten he'd ever been capable of looking at her like that. She ducked her head and turned her eyes toward the end of the alley.

She entered first. Her younger, peppier self, that is. Xander and Willow were right behind her. They all scanned the alley. Buffy pressed more closely against Spike and shot him a warning look to keep him quiet, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes had gone wide and were now fixed on Teen Buffy.

"I could've sworn I heard something," she was telling the others. "Like, fighty noises."

"Looks like somebody was back here throwing a messapalooza," said Xander.

"Maybe it was just the wind knocking over those boxes," Willow offered.

"Maybe," agreed pert and way into the shiny lip gloss Buffy. "Still, we should check it out. Come on." She started down the alley, and the others followed. Wet, bedraggled, depressed, and suddenly feeling way too old Buffy held her breath until they passed. Spike's eyes followed them, and as they reached the opposite end of the alley, he leaned forward to get a better look.

Buffy took her hand away from his mouth, and he looked at her, eyes narrowed as he studied her. "You�" He looked back down the alley. "She�"

"I'm sorry," she told him.

"What're you-" She punched him before he could finish his question. Hard. His head snapped back and slammed into the brick wall behind him, and his eyes shut as he slid to the ground.

She crouched in front of him and lightly touched the spot where she'd hit him. He let out a moan, but didn't open his eyes. "Really, really sorry," she sighed. She made sure he was well hidden behind the Dumpster, then pulled some boxes over to stack up around him in case the others came back through.

She took one last look at him. The rain caused his hair to lay in wet ringlets all over his head. She reached out, hesitated, then stroked her fingers through it, bringing her hand to rest on his cheek, just for a moment.

One stolen moment before she had to go make sure he would die in five years.

*

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The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect