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Seasons of Faith	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4355 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Seasons of faith
Chapter 2

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Faith was really struggling.
She sighed, looking again at the book opened before her. She read the page, then read it again, trying to make out what it was telling her. She got most of it “ Hey, I’m not a dummy, ya know?” But some things just seemed to elude her. Some of the words seem to dance in front of her eyes. Must be tired, ya know? But she kept at it, and finally she would move on. This was way hard. She wasn’t used to ‘crackin’ the books’ so to speak, and it took real discipline for her to do it. Every night. After school, which came after work.
But our Faith is no quitter. She plows on, trying to make sense of it all. She does her best in class to participate, but sometimes it was just hard. She felt stupid sometimes, not knowing the answers. I mean, once she heard it, it was so obvious. But puzzling it out just kinda made her sweat. Sometimes at night, when she’s alone, she just wants to take the books and throw them against a wall. But she doesn’t. She gamely opens her next text, and does the assignment.
It’s getting to be wearing. Between getting up at 6 to go to work, then studying after work until school, then patrolling afterwards , and then coming home to study some more, she’s only getting like 5 hours sleep at night. She never figured it’d be this hard, doing this. But she has something to prove. To herself, to Buffy, to all of them. That Faith aint no loser, she’s no quitter. She can do this. She can!
But she was feeling lonely, too. She’d come home, as often as not Buffy was either still in class, or at the library studying, or doing whatever else it's they do at College. So Faith would crack the books, and study. She would fix dinner, around 5 or 6, before her class, but often as not she ate alone. This really is sucky, ya know? I mean, I want to do this, and I want her to do this, but I really, really miss my B. I miss being with her, patrollin’ with her, the whole stuff, ya know? At least I get to cuddle with her at night. She’s there, most of the time(she gotta pull some all-nighters for some of those classes… whew, and I thought I had it tough). I’ll admit it though, I feelin’ hornier than hell for her. I mean…ok, we can ‘do it’ on weekends, but sometimes that can even be iffy. But my hormones want her like every night…god, I’m such a slut sometimes(heh, heh). But usually by the time I’m ready for bed, she’s asleep. Poor baby, working so hard at that school. And I like to watch her sleep a little before I drift off…cause she’s just so damned cute! But I like the cuddling too, cause then I can sleep next to her, and I smell her sweet scent, and I feel all warm and happy. Sigh. I wish she were here now, I’d cover her in kisses. God, I got it bad.(heh, heh…wouldn’t want it any other way!).
Like Buffy had predicted, they had taken a small apartment close to UC Sunnydale. It was cheaper than the dorm, which had made Joyce happy(Hey, money’s money… whatever you can save is good). Faith had wanted to kick in on the rent, but Joyce wouldn’t hear of it. Of course, she kept that guilt card handy, and said she wouldn’t mind seeing her daughters(Faith never could quite get used to being thought that way… gave her the warm fuzzies) once in a while. Like for dinners, Sunday? Maybe? Anyway, with no rent worries, what Faith made at her job covered groceries, utilities, and stuff. So, while they weren’t exactly rich, they were making out. NOT THAT KIND OF MAKING OUT…dammit, Faith giggles. They were getting by.
Faith finished her supper. She put the dishes in the sink (I’ll get to them, later, thank you) and made up a plate for Buffy(like she always did), wrapped it and put a little note on it, with of course lots of kisses and hearts and junk(God, I’m getting girly now, Faith chuckles to herself), and stuck it in the fridge. Then she collected her books, and left for class.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Buffy was feeling all alone… again
She sighed, looking around campus. It was just way too big. She had been going here for a couple of weeks now, and still everything seemed so…confusing. She still got so lost sometimes, trying to find where the hell her next class was. Even though she should have the scoped by now, she thought. She remembered when Willow had shown her the library. She had expected something like Sunnydale High…shelves of books, and a table or two for studying, etc. The thing had been HUGE. And it had dozens…and dozens…of tables. She kinda looked around, and just felt her jaw drop. Giles woulda been in book heaven, she chuckled. And then Will told her it was only ONE of the libraries on campus. That is just how the whole campus made her feel. Small, and insignificant
And alone.
Oh, sure, she had a couple of classes with Will. That was cool. And Will seemed to just take to the place like chocolate on a dove bar. Even Oz, not exactly known as “Mr. School” seemed to fit in here. But Buffy just seemed…disconnected. So many people, from so many places, and all seemed wrapped up in their own worlds. Well, I guess that’s normal, huh? But it’s hard to even try to make friends here. If you’re not part of their group, their ‘cause’ , well… yeah… just like high school, huh? So, where’s the slayer’s clique? Oh, yeah, right…only two of us, and one of us isn’t going here. I guess were too minor a minority to count.
And school…HARD. Damn. The expectations were sure tough here. Lots and lots of reading and homework. Term papers, research … ack. Didn’t I get enough of research? Of course, not much call for knowledge on demons and vamps here. Just the usual English lit, and history, and science…argh…Psychology 105 with Dr. Margaret “Maggie” Walsh. Or, as some of her TA’s call her, the Evil Psycho Bitch from hell. Hmmm…she gives hell a bad name, in my opinion. Seems she has it out for me, sometimes. At least it feels like that. What’s that about , anyway? And that TA of hers… what’s his face? … oh yeah…Riley. Riley Finn. I know I got on his good side when I accidentally(honest!) brained him in the campus bookstore. I mean, why do they stack books all the way on the top shelf anyway? Don’t they know some of us are a little vertically challenged? I jumped up to get me and Will a copy of the book, tipped it, and it fell…right on his head. He was nice enough about it, but then I find out next day he’s Maggie Walsh’s TA. Oh, yeah, I’m gonna do so well in that class. I already know it.
I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with the scoobies. Xander, Will, Oz…even Giles. Damn, I even miss the library at Sunnydale High(now, that’s just sick). I hate this, really hate this. Feeling alone. Seems like no one to talk to… not even Faith
I so miss Faith. Seems we hardly get any alone time. Ok, weekends, but with studying, trying to keep up, even that …doesn’t always happen. And the sex… what sex? Geeze, I remember sex… I think. Ok, not that bad, but I want her ALL THE TIME. God, I don’t know what the deal is, but I’m like horny all the time. Never figured studying make you that way, but oh well. And …with her working so hard, and going to night school( did I mention how proud of her I am? She’s getting her High school diploma at night. She’s so great! ) and patrolling, the poor baby is sooo pooped. Most nights, she just falls asleep. Cuddled up to me. And she looks so sweet, I hate to wake her. So, I uh…well…geeze, do I have to spell it out for you? Do you know hard being quiet and doing that is? Especially with someone cuddled up next to you? Try it sometime. God, I wish I had her right now, right here. I’d do her right here. I don’t care who was watching(blush… ok, maybe find a nice discreet bush somewhere…). But…oh, hell, I’m turning into such a slut!
Where am I? Stevenson Hall…ok…close.
God, I hate this.
Buffy trudges off to class.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Faith’s class is taking a test.
Faith sits in her chair, looking at the test paper. She knows the stuff, she’s gone over it lots of times. But some of this stuff just doesn’t make sense to her. She sighs. It never does, really. She pulls out her pencil, and begins taking the test.
Dr. Lila Morgan, the class’s teacher, watches her students as they take their tests. Unlike most of her colleagues, she actually prefers teaching night school. The students here tend to be more serious about learning. They’ve done their goofing…now they want… need to catch up. She encourages her students, but she’s not easy. She expects a lot from them. Oddly, she usually gets it, and more. She’s tough, but fair. And cares.
She looks around at the class, and her gaze stops on a particular student. Dark haired, dresses…hmmm… provocatively? Yeah. First time I saw her, I thought. “Trouble”. But I was wrong. Dr. Morgan has been impressed by this student, and that is no easy feat. Her test scores were low, but she’s made steady progress. And Dr. Morgan can see she’s really struggling to keep up, and excel. She is fond of this student, also not an easy feat. This is the kind of student she lives for…the one that really wants to makes something of herself, to really learn.
Dr. Morgan wants to help her any way she can.
And she needs help. Despite her improvement, she is still not up to where Dr. Morgan thinks she should be. When she participates in class, she is bright, witty, thinks well on her feet. But tests seem to kill her. And reading seems to be a chore, though Lila Morgan can tell she makes a big effort .No, it’s something else. She has her suspicions as to what, but she is not an expert in the field. She needs , somehow, to get Faith tested. Thing is, from what she has assessed of Faith, that might not be so easy. Faith is really independent…not the type to ask for help.
Faith is looking at the question. I know this one! I do…but I can’t see the answer, anywhere. Damn. I know this…why isn’t it a choice? All the damn words are scrambly, that’s it. God, I hate taking tests. She pounds her desk in frustration
“Faith? Is everything ok?” Dr. Morgan calls from the front.
“Huh? Oh, yeah...sorry” Faith blushes. Damn, Faith, watch the temper, ok? It’s just a dumb test.
Faith struggles on, marking the test best she can. Trying hard to get it right. Finally, the torture hour is over, and she can turn in her paper. She grins, but it’s an apologetic grin. Dr. Morgan takes her paper.
“Faith…could you stay after for a bit, please?” Dr. Morgan asks.
Aw, crap, now what did I do? Faith thinks.
“Sure, Dr. M. no prob.” Faith says, going back to her chair. Man, I’m so in trouble now. But what did I do?
The test finished, most of the class leaves. It’s just Faith and Lila Morgan left. Faith is nervous, and squirming in her chair. Finally, Dr. Morgan signals Faith to come upfront.
“ Look, Dr. M, I’m sorry about my outburst. I… I just get a little frustrated sometimes. I promise it won’t happen again” Faith says.
“I know Faith” Dr. Morgan replies “The tests are giving you some trouble, right?”
“Yeah” Faith says, looking down. “ I guess I’m kinda dumb.”
“No, Faith” Dr. Morgan says vigorously. “ That’s not true at all. In class, when you participate, I see a very articulate, intelligent woman. Bright, witty and you can think well on your feet. So, no, dumb is not even close to what you are”
Faith is nonplussed. She hadn’t expected that at all. But hey, I’ll take it. She grins
“Really? Ya think so?” Faith asks
“Yes, Faith. I think so” Dr. Morgan smiles. “ I wanted to tell you that I see a great improvement in you since you have been in class… but I still don’t think you’re working up to your potential”
“God, Dr. M, I’m workin’ hard as I can. I mean, I’m bustin’ my butt here. What with work, and school, and….” Ooops, Faith, no mention of patrolling “ … other stuff I gotta do, I can’t squeeze in anymore study time without skipping sleep, too.”
“No, Faith. I know you’re working hard” Dr. Morgan says.” Your improvement has shown me that. No, I think it might be something else. Go grab a chair from the corner there, I want to talk with you for awhile.”
“Dr.M. ? I really got other things…” Faith starts, but is interrupted.
“Faith, this is important. Please, go grab a chair.” Dr. Morgan’s tone leaves no room for argument. Faith, sighing to herself, gets a chair, and sits.
“Faith, do me a favor, ok?” Dr. Morgan asks.
“Sure” Faith says.
“ Read aloud to me the passage I’ve marked. Take your time, there’s no hurry”
Faith reads the passage slowly, making some mistakes. She curses herself with each mistake, and tries to correct it. Dr. Morgan observes this, and thinks to herself how hard this young woman is on herself. She feels an empathy for her. Finally , Faith finishes, and looks up at Dr. Morgan, hopefully.
Dr. Morgan smiles at her and praises her. Faith grins.
“ You have a little trouble reading, don’t you Faith?” Dr. Morgan asks gently.
“Uh…yeah, sometimes. Ok, yeah a lot. I’m kinda slow, Dr. M. But I get there!” Faith says, a little defensively.
“No…no, it’s ok, Faith” Dr. Morgan reassures her. “ Does it sometimes look like…oh, the words are just…wrong?”
“Yeah! A lot! Hey, do these guys ever check these books over before they print them, or what?” Faith is relieved. She thought she was the only one that saw this.
Dr. Morgan smiles, and thinks how to frame the next question. She decides just to come out with it.
“Faith, have you ever heard of Dyslexia?”
Faith looks at Dr. Morgan, and her eyes go wide. She blushes furiously
“Dr. M!!! Isn’t that kinda personal?” She says, her blush deepening( Don’t ask. You don’t want to know what Faith thought Dr. Morgan was asking about).
Dr. Morgan looks at Faith, and is confused. It takes a minute, then it dawns on her. She chuckles a little.
“ No…Faith…Dyslexia is a disorder of the brain which impairs the ability to read. It affects millions of people, so you’re not alone in this. Thing is, I feel you need to be tested, to be sure. And then, maybe we can find some way to design a reading program to help you. There are resources for this. No guarantees that you’ll ever be able to read 100% to your level, but I know that with proper training, you can improve. I know you work hard, and I have no fear you won’t try”.
“You…you mean I’m not stupid, then?” Faith asks, her voice quavering.
“Oh… no, Faith, not at all. I think you’re quite smart” Dr. Morgan smiles. “And I know for a fact that you’re a determined young woman”
Faith tries, but can’t help it. She feels the tears rolling down her cheeks. All her life people told her she was stupid…cause she couldn’t read so well. She tried hard to do well, but would always fall behind. Finally, she just quit because she thought she was too dumb to get anywhere. This was the first person to actually tell her that she had a problem, and it wasn’t her fault. And she called her smart, too!!!! Damn, Faith curses herself, I hate getting all blubbery. She pulls herself together.
Dr. Morgan reaches into her desk, and brings out a box of tissues. Not the first student she has had cry on her. She offers Faith a tissue, and Faith gratefully takes a couple.
“Look, Faith, I’m not going to sugar coat it. It’s going to be tough work for you. Very tough. But from what I’ve seen of your character, you’re not afraid of tough.” Dr. Morgan looks at Faith. “ Do you have any family in town, Faith?”
“No… not really. Wait. There’s my girlfriend, and her mom. They’re kinda family” Faith says, smiling.
“Well…any program we do for you is going to be easier if you have the support of family and friends. It’s crucial that you keep it up, not quit. Ok?” Dr. Morgan says, watching for Faith’s reaction.
“Sure, Dr. M. “ Faith says. “ I got it. No quitting”
“ Ok, Faith, but first we’ve got to get you tested, to be sure” Dr. Morgan says. “What did you say your girlfriends mother’s name was?”
“ I didn’t, actually” Faith says, grinning.” But it’s Mrs. Summers. Joyce Summers.”
“Is that Buffy Summer’s mother?” Dr. Morgan asks.
“Ummm…Yeah, it's Buffy’s mom” Faith says.” You know Buffy?”
“Yes, I had her in one of my classes when I was teaching at the High School” Lila Morgan says. “ Before the school blew up, that is. Quite a character, that one, if I remember…” Dr. Morgan muses.
“Hey, that’s my girlfriend” Faith growls.
“No, no, Faith” Dr. Morgan smiles. “I meant, she seems a lot like you. Doesn’t rate her intelligence too high, but a lot smarter than she lets on”
Faith is all grins again “ Yeah, that’s my Buffy” she beams.
“Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Mrs. Summers, too.”
“I’ll ask her”
“Ok, Faith, I’ll let you go, but don’t put this off. Promise?” Dr. Morgan asks. “It’s a shame to waste that beautiful mind you have”
Faith blushes, and says, quietly” I promise”
“Ok then. Good evening, Faith”
“Night, Dr. M” Faith says, and turns to leave. She turns back.
“I’m really not dumb, huh?” She asks, hopefully. She still can’t believe it.
“No, Faith, you’re not dumb” Dr. Morgan assures her.
Faith grins, and leaves the classroom.
As she’s walking down the hall to the exit, she gloats to herself “ Yeah! I always knew I was smart!”
She walks out the exit, humming to herself.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
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Seasons of Faith