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Independence	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Faith/Willow Views: 7379 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Independence

By Norwalker
Part 2 of
Summary: What did Willow and Faith discuss in that little car trip from L.A. to Sunnydale in season 7? And what were the consequences? A Willow/ Faith story

Rating: R, Very R

Category: romance/drama/angst
Spoilers: Possible season 7 spoilers. Possible season 4 Angel spoilers. C'mon, you must have seen 'em by now!
Time Line: Mid season 7(after the return of Faith) and beyond
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.
Words and Music for " Cry, Baby, Cry " by Jerry Ragovoy and Sam Bell. Sung by Janis Joplin
Words and Music for " Me and Bobby McGee" by Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster. Sung by Janis Joplin
Warnings: Adult themes, violence, sexual situations between members of the same gender. Please be aware, character death is always a distinct possibility. It can happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you!!! Any racist remarks are spoken by the characters, and are in no way shared by the author. This story is not meant for children.
To Pasha. Thanks for the inspiration.
Independence - Part 2

She rode the bike towards the setting sun.
The day has been hot, the road long, seemingly endless. Even with the helmet and visor, she still can taste the dust of the road in her mouth. She needs something... a beer... to wash the bitter dust and asphalt off her tongue. A lot of beers to wash the bitter pain out of her heart.
She pulls her bike into the rest stop by the road. It looks like a thousand other rest stops that dot the road between here and forever. It's seen way too much weather, too little care. The gas pumps look like something out of a 50's movie, the 'diner' dilapidated and made out whatever was available. The 'tavern' next to it was old, rusty, the windows plastered with stickers from 100 brands of beer... most which never crossed the doorway of this place. The whole little 'oasis' smelled of desert sand, dust, grease , old metal and a touch of decay. It was dying; it just didn't know it yet.
Faith parks her bike by the rest of the beat up cars and truck in what is laughingly known as the parking lot. She takes one look around, and grimaces. Shit-kicker land. Ah, well. Get some beer, get some grub, get gas and get gone girl. Plopping her helmet on the bike, she heads for the tavern... first things first, gotta get this dust outta my mouth. She opens the door and walks inside.
The inside neither surprises nor disappoints. The bar is long, beaten up, and functional. Behind it are rows on rows of bottles, a couple of taps for beer, and what looks like a new mirror. Probably just got busted out. Over in back are a few rickety looking tables, mostly occupied, that've seen much better days. There is a small dance floor, and what must be a 60's vintage jukebox . Whoo hoo, Faith. Betcha the locals come out here on Saturday nights to do their two step turkey trots...or whatever is local to this dump. All it needs is the steer horns over the bar. Not here for the atmosphere, girl. Just get you're beer and go. She walks over to the bar, leaning on the rail, waiting for the bartender to come over.
"What'll ya have?" the bartender, stocky, crew cut and looking as weathered as the place, asks.
"Beer... whatever's on tap" Faith replies, short and to the point. The bartender grunts acknowledgment, and heads for the taps.
Faith wonders what the hell she's even doing here. Right now, she should be in Colorado or Utah. Not Arizona. She planned on going north. Supposed to be real pretty out there. Big spaces, not lots of people...someone could get lost real nice out there. So why'm I in this dump in Godforsaken, Arizona anyway? Sure aint for the weather... just fucking admit it, Faith. Ya miss her, ya wanna see her again. Damned bitch got under your skin, now you gotta see her. I can just see her lordin' all over me to like " La, la, la , de dah". Well, she better not give me grief. Not gonna be taken no shit off nobody. Aw, screw it this is just a dumb ass idea....
"Hey, girl, what ya doin' in a dive like this?" The voice interrupts her thoughts from behind.
"Gettin a beer and gettin gone," Faith says, shortly. Her tone saying " not lookin' for anything else". God, don't anyone got an original line?
"Aw, c'mon. What say you and I find ourselves a good time? Pretty thing like you shouldn't be all by herself" The guy says, his speech saying he's had more than a couple of beers.
"Not lookin' for a good time, thanks anyway, " Faith says, tone firm but polite. Not looking for trouble
But somehow, it finds her anyway.
"Don't be that way, " The guy says, slurring his words just a bit, " Let's have us a lil dance". Here he makes his first mistake. He puts his hand on her butt to turn her around.
Faith's expression hardens, and she says, in a low tone, " Listen, pal. Unless you really wanna lose that hand, get it off my ass!"
"Whoo hoo, spirited aint ya?" The voice says, " So, who's gonna make me?"
" I'm gonna, cow-kicker" Faith says, turning around, and staring into the guys' chest
He must stand about 6'6", and weigh something over 250 pounds. Faith has seen skinnier sides of beef. He grins down at her.

" Now, Pumpkin, how 'bout you and I have some fun?" He grins, more a leer. Mistake #2, he puts his other hand on Faith's butt.
"Sure, cowboy, "Faith says, her tone mocking, " I like fun". Her smirk is hard, but not as hard as her eyes. He mistakes her look for an invitation. Mistake #3
Before he realizes what's happening, Faith brings her boot heel hard down on his foot. Distracted, he lets go of her butt, just in time for her to bring her knee up, square in his crotch. His eyes bulging, he bends over, grabbing his crotch. She brings her hands over his neck, and slams his head hard on the bar. He falls over like a tree, groaning. Faith turns back to the bar.
"So, where's my beer...." Faith starts, and sees she's looking into the business end of a short barreled shotgun." What's this? I just want my beer. He started it" Faith says, indicating the groaning cowboy on the floor.
"Yeah, well, I'm ending it. I don't want no trouble" The barkeep says, pointing the gun at Faith, " what say you make your way outta here, pronto?". He indicates with the gun barrel the exit.
"Sure, pal" Faith says agreeable. Too fast for the barkeep to do anything, Faith grabs the barrel of the gun, yanks it free from the barkeep, and points it back at him, " just as soon as I finish my beer. Now, where is that, anyway?" She grins. " Nice gun, by the way".
She hears a few chairs scrape back. She doesn't turn towards them, only calls over her shoulder.
" Don't even. Don't need to shoot ya to hurt ya, "Faith says. The other patrons change their mind, having seen the demo. Still looking at the barkeep, she says, quietly, but an edge of threat in her tone, " Can I get my beer, or what?"
The bartender, keeping an eye on the gun, moves to where he set down Faith's beer. She watches him, grinning, as he brings the mug and sets it down. She smiles.
"Now see, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She asks. She looks at the gun, then back to the bartender, "Now, I don't wanna have to drink my beer holding this gun. And it's just too pretty to wanna have to break. So, what say you give me the rest of the shells for it?". The bartender hesitates, as if he can't make up his mind. Faith pushes the barrel of the gun to his shoulder. " Now, I don't wanna hurt you," Faith says...and pushes the barrel against his shoulder..." but that don't mean I won't". The bartender starts to reach under the counter. Faith moves the gun to his neck, " Careful now...hate to have any accidents, ya know?". The bartender slowly brings up his hand, gripping a box of shells. He puts them on the bar. She grabs them, and pockets them. She looks at him, and then says, "Ok, the other one now".
"That�s it" The bartender says, nervously. He's sweating more bullets than he's handed over.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk" Faith clucks her tongue, " Lying' aint gonna help." She pulls back the trigger on the shotgun, " Now, where's the other box?". The bartender, wide-eyed, scared, reaches down and gets another box of shells...which Faith also pockets. "Now, anymore down there?" She asks, politely, but her tone is definitely saying ' I'm done playing around here'.

"That's all.. honest" he says, putting his hands up, " there aint no more".
" 'K, then" Faith says. She opens the barrel, extracting the shells inside the gun. She pockets the shells, and hands the gun back to the barkeep. " you'll get the rest back when I leave". He nods nervously, putting the gun away. She picks up her beer, takes a drink, and turns around.
The place is silent as a graveyard. Every patron in the place is staring at her. She sighs inwardly, and turns back to the bartender.
"Hey, pal" Faith says. The bartender almost trips coming over to her. " Whattya figure it's gonna cost to buy a round for the bar, yourself included?" Faith asks.
The bartender shrugs, looking sheepish. Faith sighs, and digs out a wad of bills. She drops a couple of twenties on the bar.

"You figure that'll cover it?" she asks, looking at the bartender. His eyes go wide. He nods. She continues, " Good, " she says, and drops another twenty on the bar, " just in case... oh, and give me some quarters, ok? For the jukebox". He nods, scooping up the bills and nearly running for the till. Faith turns around and addresses the rest of the bar.
" So, whatcha waitin' for? Free drinks!" She calls out.
The bar suddenly comes alive as patrons belly up to the bar to get a drink. She chuckles quietly. Never fails to bring a joint back to life. The bartender returns and drops the quarters on the bar. She scoops them up, and heads for the jukebox, taking her beer with her.

She looks over the selections with a small frown on her face. Pretty damned grim. Her eyes stop on a tune she hasn't heard in like ... forever. Well, well, where'd this come from? Not your typical shit-kicker tune. She drops the quarters in the box, and plays the song.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train

And I�s feeling nearly as faded as my jeans.

Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,

It rode us all the way to New Orleans.
Faith leans against the wall, sipping her beer.
I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna,

I 's playing soft while Bobby sang the blues.

Windshield wipers slapping time, I was holding Bobby�s hand in mine,

We sang every song that driver knew.
It's hard to read Faith's face. Her expression doesn't change, but her eyes seem to soften just a little.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,

Nothing don�t mean nothing honey if it ain�t free, now now.

And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,

You know feeling good was good enough for me,

Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
Faith gets the thousand yard stare.
From the Kentucky coal mines to the California sun,

Hey, Bobby shared the secrets of my soul.

Through all kinds of weather, through everything that we done,

Hey Bobby baby kept me from the cold.

One day up near Salinas, Lord, I let him slip away,

He�s looking for that home and I hope he finds it,

But I�d trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday

To be holding Bobby�s body next to mine.
Faith bites her lip, and closes her eyes. Her free hand fists, trying to hold on. So not gonna happen. She liked this crap. Despite herself she lets a single tear slip.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,

Nothing, that�s all that Bobby left me, yeah,

But feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,

Hey, feeling good was good enough for me, hmm hmm,

Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
Why? Why, why, why? Faith feels more tears threatening.
La la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la

La la la la la Bobby McGee.

La la la la la, la la la la la

La la la la la, Bobby McGee, la.

La La la, la la la la la la,

La La la la la la la la la, hey now Bobby now Bobby McGee yeah.

Na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na na

Hey now Bobby now, Bobby McGee, yeah...
Aw, fuck this! Faith walks to the bar. She drops the shells on it, along with her unfinished beer. She turns and heads for the door, as the song plays out.
... Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord

Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee.
The door slams behind her.
Nobody notices.
Willow Rosenberg dropped in on her favorite little coffeehouse.
She loved this little place. It wasn't over decorated like all too many trendy places in the bay area; it kept its charm with the warm, inviting atmosphere it exuded. The fare was simple but excellent, the smells were heavenly. Roasting coffee, the scent of baking pastries, the rich smell of spices used in the limited dishes the place offered. It has a bluesy, jazzy atmosphere to it, the music reflecting that. All in all she felt welcome here, at home. More so than even at her home, which felt all too cold and large, lately.
She ordered a tea and scone from the server, and sat thinking about the last few days.
She'd done it. She finally put together a proposal that the client could understand and appreciate. He'd been so impressed with her presentation, that he'd upgraded the order, bringing the total worth to over five million on the first job. And he'd hinted that there would be more work needed. After the presentation, she'd gathered the 'troops' and gave them the news. There was a hush, followed by a wild cheer. Everyone knew how important this was, and the news just rocketed morale through the ceiling.
Just damned glad we got it. Now we can breathe a little easier, not worrying so much where and when the money for this, that and the other thing is gonna come in. Gonna have enough to pay some bonuses to some really deserving peeps, bring on a few more full timers, and pay off some of the creditors. This is great, really great. It looks like WillNet is finally gonna make it.
The server brought her order, and Willow sat drinking her tea. She looked down at the scone, but she suddenly wasn't feeling all that hungry. What the hell is wrong with me? I should be dancing in the aisles, this is everything I wanted. The company's gonna go solid, finally, and I know we're gonna go up from here. So, why'm I like sitting here feeling so damned blue? Willow, picking at the scone, knew the reason. She just didn't want to admit it to herself.
I wish she were here. Goddess, I wish I could just show her. Show her I didn't need her, I could do it all on my own! Willow stabs at her scone with her fork. Show you! Ya thought I'd fall all apart without you, didn't you? I just want to rub your face in it, show you I don't need you. Never needed you! I can go where I want to, do what I want, be wildly successful, and not need you around. Got it? You thought you'd use me and toss me, but who used who, huh? Neener, neener, neener, you're nothin' but a wiener!
Willow normally likes the music playing at the coffee house. But she's been so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she hasn't been paying attention to what's been playing. It suddenly comes through to her, as if her thoughts, her true thoughts, were trying to push out.
... And you swear that you just don�t know why,

But you know, honey I�ll always,

I�ll always be around if you ever want me

Come on and cry, cry baby, cry baby, cry baby,

Oh honey, welcome back home.
Don�t you know, honey,

Ain�t nobody ever gonna love you

The way I try to do ?

Who�ll take all your pain,

Honey, your heartache, too ?

And if you need me, you know

That I�ll always be around if you ever want me

Come on and cry, cry baby, cry baby, cry baby,

Oh daddy, like you always saying to do.
Willow's face goes white as she realizes what's playing. But she's helpless to move, because it's all so true. Damn her, damn her... she won't even let me be happy for a fucking minute!
And when you walk around the world, babe,

You said you�d try to look for the end of the road,

You might find out later that the road�ll end in Detroit,

Honey, the road�ll even end in Katmandu.

You can go all around the world

Trying to find something to do with your life, baby,

When you only gotta do one thing well,

You only gotta do one thing well to make it in this world, babe.

You got a woman waiting for you there,

All you ever gotta do is be a good man one time to one woman

And that�ll be the end of the road, babe,

I know you got more tears to share, babe,

So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on,

And cry, cry baby, cry baby, cry baby.
Willow sits at her table, the tears welling up in her eyes. She stabs at the scone, like it's her. Why? Why'd you do this to me? To Us? We could've been so good , you and me... you bitch, why wasn't I enough????
And if you ever feel a little lonely, dear,

I want you to come on, come on to your mama now,

And if you ever want a little love of a woman

Come on and baby baby baby babe babe baby now

Cry baby yeah.
The lyrics to the song cut through her like a knife. Her face goes red from anger and hurt and the bittersweet pain breaking her heart. Damn you fuck you damn you fuck you! You always, always do this to me. It's supposed to be a happy day, a great day... it is ! and it's all shit cuz you're not here. You're not here, and you're still ripping my heart apart. What did you do to me? What spell did you put on me, bitch? I'm supposed to be the witch... not you. But you got me so tightly wrapped, I can't even think! All I do is feel...feel like crap. Why won't you let me go? Why won't you let me alone? Damn you, why can't I forget you...forget YOU...FORGET YOU!!!!!
Willow struggles with her purse, pulling out some money. She drops it on the table, knowing it's way too much, and not caring. She's not caring about anything.
Except getting out of here before she loses it.
All over again.
Night time
On the road to Sunnydale
Last year.
The motor hummed along as the two women drove north towards Sunnydale.
Faith sprawled back in the front passenger seat, trying to get comfortable. Conversation was nil, they really didn't have much of anything to say to each other, the witch and her. She looked out the window at the passing scenery, such as it's at night, and felt itchy, jumpy and something she really didn't like feeling.
Fear.
Her face was an impassive mask. Faith had learned well in prison, you never show what your feeling. But inside her stomach was doing flips, churning acid to beat the band. Every minute they drove brought her closer to facing things she hadn't wanted to face for a long time, if ever. She idly wondered how bad she'd be hurt if she just popped open the door and jumped out now. Like, killed, stupid. We're doing 60 on a freeway. They'd be picking up Faith patties for miles. Stupid idea. Almost as stupid as agreeing to do this.
So what're they gonna do? Kill me? Nawww... probably not. This First Evil dude'll probably take care of that. Nope, they'll probably just attitude me 'til I wish I were dead... or back in prison. I can just see Buffy havin' a snit-fit, and Xan-man givin' me the " I'm here for ya" talk while givin' me looks if I fart in public. And crap, a houseful of girls. Didn't I just get away from that? Swell. No bathrooms either, I suppose. It's gonna be Sunnyhell on earth, just like before. Me wonderin' what the hell I'm doin' there while Buffy leads her parade of scoobies and whatnot into the fight. Yeah, gonna just be swell, I can already tell. Let's not forget G. I'm just so damned sure he's gonna be happy to see me. Probably turn me over to the loving arms of the Watcher's Council. Whoo hoo. That road aint lookin' so bad after all...
"Hey, Faith. Do you mind if I play some music?" Willow asks
"Sure, whatever Red, " Faith replies, looking out the window.
Willow pushes the CD into the deck, and Janis Joplin's signature wail blasts over the speakers. Faith nearly jumps out of the window right then and there.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Faith yells, giving Willow a look like she's wanting to shoot her... or something.
"Calm down, Faith. It's just Janis Joplin" Willow says, like Faith's supposed to know these things.
"Well, shit Red. It sounds like what happened the last time I stepped on a cat's tail!" Faith says, holding her ears. "Ya think you could turn it down a bit? Better yet, just throw the damned thing out the window?"
"Well, maybe if you listened to something besides Techno- punk dance music once in awhile..." Willow says, aggrieved.
"What's wrong with dance music?" Faith asks, her tone a little growly. God, that girl is in serious need of an orgasm. Faith thinks to herself about the singer. And a fucking laryngectomy.
" Nothing, " Willow says," If your on a dance floor. Not anywhere to dance in here, Faith."
" Oh, really?" Faith says, an evil grin comin' over her face. " Wanna bet, Red?" Faith pops out the CD. Willow looks at her like she's nut. She tunes the radio 'til she finds some decent dance tunes. She starts to move with the music.
"What're you doing, Faith?" Willow says, Faith occasionally bumping her arm, " trying to drive here!"
"Don't sweat it , Red" Faith answers, " Just warmin' up a little". Faith reaches over and rolls down her window.
"Hey, roll that up, it's cold enough in here" Willow complains, "What the heck are you thinking?"
"Not thinkin', Red, doin' " Faith says, reaching over and cranking up the tunes. She twists around and starts sliding out the open window.
"Hey... HEY!" Willow says, holding the wheel with one hand, trying to grab at Faith with the other. " What ... stop that.. STOP!"
"Ah, chill, Red, " Faith says " Faith's bored... wants to dance a little" She slips out the window, sitting on the door frame. Holding on with one hand, she leans out a bit, and starts moving to the tunes blasting from the radio. The wind blowing in her hair, she starts laughing, especially at Red, who looks like she just swallowed a dose. Faith bounces on the doorsill, really getting into it. Horns start blaring around them; some in anger, most in appreciation. Faith, always a daredevil, spreads her legs in the window to hold herself, and puts up both hands, waving them in the air acknowledging the fans, so to speak. Willow, in the mean time, is trying to drive while having a heart attack. She keeps trying to hold the wheel while reaching over trying to grab Faith.
"YOUR NUTS!" Willow yells at Faith, her face red, " YOUR FUCKING NUTS!"
About this time, an 18 wheeler pulls up alongside the right-hand side of the car... Faith's side, and toots it's air horn. Faith grins broadly, and holding on with her legs, pulls up on her top, giving the truckers a peek. They toot in appreciation. Faith grins, and sticks her tongue out at them. They grin back, and pull away.
" YOUR OUT OF YOUR MIND, " Willow screams, " GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK IN HERE!"
"RED!" Faith yells back, grinning broadly, " Language, girlfriend. I'm gonna have to wash that mouth out with soap!" She laughs.
"Goddammit, get in here NOW!" Willow scolds, still trying to tug on Faith's leg.
"God, whatta buzz kill!" Faith bitches, sliding back in the window, " Havin' a little fun is all. Don't have a cow."
"What the hell were you thinking?" Willow asks, pissed off.
"I'm thinking you guys in Sunnydale are born with a cork up your butts, " Faith says, peevishly.
"That's so not true. I like fun, " Willow says, defensively, " I just don't wanna get myself killed doin' it"
"God, were you born an old lady, Will?" Faith says, "We're young, were supposed to be stupid sometimes. Lighten up!".
"Lighten up my butt, " Willow says, using more profanity(for her) than she's used in a year, " You could've gotten us both killed, or a ticket".
Faith looks at her , and bursts out laughing.
"What? WHAT?" Willow asks, getting irritated again. God, I wanna strangle her!
" You're wound so tight, you're gonna explode, Red" Faiths says, sprawling back in the seat, "When was the last time you just had fun?"
" HEY! I have fun, lots of fun, " Willow says, " I'm a fun girl".
" Oh yeah, you're a load of laughs, " Faith mocks, " I bet you can't even dance!"
" I can so dance!" Willow protests, " better than you"
"In your dreams, girl, " Faith says, condescendingly, " I know you. You're the one who can't dance, sits along the wall, and mocks those who can. That's why you like that cat howling stuff... or maybe it's a gay thing?" She glances at Red, eyebrow arched.
"God, so typical, " Willow mutters, " you don't get something, so you make fun of it. Try listening to something besides dance music, maybe you'll learn something".
"Uhhh... like how to be a tight assed bitch?" Faith says, angrily. She gets a little pissed when someone makes her feel dumb.
"Grrr. Why do I even talk to you?" Willow explodes, waving her hand in Faith's direction.
"Fine!" Faith says, turning away.
"FINE!" Willow says, burning.
Five minute uncomfortable silence. Willow finally breaks it.
" Look, I'm sorry, " Willow says, tightly.
" Yeah, right" Faith replies, not buying it.
" I am sorry, Faith" Willow says, contritely. Her breathing is a bit forced. " Just you scared me, bad. I'm scared enough, don't need anymore scares". Willow starts to breath raggedly.
Faith hears Willow's wheezing , and looks over. Willow's face is white, and her hands are trembling. She's having trouble staying in control.
" Hey... HEY!" Faith says, " Pull over... "
"No, I'm fine" Willow says, gasping. She's sweating now, even though it's a cool night.
"Pull the fuck over!" Faith says. She grabs the wheel, and steers the car to the shoulder. She jams on the brake. Both girls are tossed in their belts.
"Why'd you do that?" Willow says, leaning on the steering wheel, " You...coulda...killed...us" Willow's nearly stopped breathing.
"Calm down, "Faith says, in a soothing tone, " Just calm down". She takes Willow's hand and starts rubbing it, trying to calm her a bit.
"Can't ... breathe ... can't" Willow says, gasping.
"Fuck" Faith says. She looks around, and spots a bag in back. She empties the paper sack, and hands it to Willow." Breathe into this" Faith puts the bag into Willow's hands. Willow brings the bag to her mouth, and breathes into it.
" Slower...slower" Faith says, rubbing her neck, " You're ok, you're just hyperventilating. You're gonna be ok". Faith tries to keep her tone calm and soothing.
Willow breathes into the bag, and slowly her breathing stabilizes. She starts to breath more normally, some color comes back to her face, and her panicked look fades. It's replaced by embarrassment.
"God, I'm such a moron" Willow says, finally putting the bag aside, and breathing almost normally.
" No, you just panicked, " Faith says quietly, " It's ok. C'mon, get out of the car. Get some fresh air. You'll feel better."
Both women get out of the car, and walk around a little bit, staying close to the car nonetheless. Willow finally sits on the front fender, leaning on her knees. She looks a little lost. Faith walks over and stands by her.
"Are you ok now?" Faith asks.
" I don't know what were gonna do" Willow says to no one in particular.
" What?" Faith asks, thinking Willow's talking to her.
Willow looks at Faith, trying to make up her mind. Can I even trust her? She might just punch me, take the car and leave me in Godknowswhere, Ca. Damn. But I gotta tell someone, and Giles can't help... Buffy isn't really listening to him. Or anyone. She's not gonna listen to Faith, either. This sucks. But she's gotta know what she's walkin' into.
�Alright, Red. What's the deal? What's going on?" Faith asks, her suspicions flaring up. What's goin' through her head? What kinda crap is she tryin' to deal me?
"It's bad, Faith. Worse than I told you" Willow says, looking at the ground. " The First... is the primordial evil. Evil before everything... Evil before there was anything else to be evil. According to Giles, the First is trying to eliminate the slayer line. Evidently, when I brought back Buffy, I threw the balance between good and evil way outta line, " Willow stops, remembering how guilty that made her for all this, " It has followers, acolytes called " Harbingers" or "Bringers" Whatever! They've been going worldwide, eliminating the potential slayers. It plans on killing them, then Buffy...then you. Once that's done, it plans on opening the hellmouth, and... well, you can figure the rest".
Faith stands quietly, taking this in. She waves at Willow, " Go on".
"Giles has been bringing all the " Potentials" he can to Sunnydale... putting them in Buffy's care. She's taking care of them at her house, trying to feed them, shelter them and train them. Cuz when the first comes, it's not going to care, it's going to do it's best to wipe them all out."

"Thing is, Faith, Buffy's beginning to crack. I can see it; I think everybody can see it. The pressure, the stress, her sleeplessness... it's just too much. She's becoming more and more dictatorial, less willing to listen to outside opinion. Morale is sinking fast; the girls are afraid she's gonna lose it, and they are gonna lose their lives. They're beginning to mutter... and it's not pretty. Then there's Spike." Willow turns away.
"What about Spike?" Faith asks.

"Ok, some background I guess. She and Spike...well, last year...they kinda..." Willow hesitates, not sure she should tell Faith this.
"They what?" Faith says, puzzled. She looks at Willow, and her expression... and then puts 2 and 2 together. " Are you saying B and bleach boy are...were... what IS it with B and dead things?" Faith says, unbelieving.

"Hey... she was going through a bad time, ok?" Willow says... not believing she's defending Buffy and Spike. Oh yeah, right like your choices have been so great lately?

"Fine, whatever, " Faith says.
" Anyway... she tried to break it off last year... and did... but then he...he tried to...shit, he tried to rape her!" Willow says, coloring at the thought. Again.
"What?" Faith says, floored. " he tried to WHAT? And he's still walking around?" She can't believe any of this crap. Wait a fucking minute, here. " I thought you said he had some kind of chip in his head...so he couldn't harm humans" Faith says, suspiciously, " How could he rape her?"
"Well, first of all, he tried to rape her. She stopped him, " Willow says, but continues knowing that won't satisfy Faith, " Thing is, when we brought her back... well, according to Tara, anyway" A little wince crosses her face, " Buffy didn't come back ...exactly... well... she had some changes...minor changes... but enough to fool the chip's sensor... it doesn't work for Buffy".
"Huh?" Faith asks, " You're saying Buffy's... not human anymore?"
" No... no... it's just minor stuff...kinda like having a really weird cosmic tan or something" Willow says, trying to remember how Buffy explained it to her.
"Well, I still don't see why he's walking around. Why didn't she stake him?" Faith asks
"Well, ummm... a lot of things happened right after that, and ... well... he kinda left town and all before anyone could do anything...and when he returned...well, he was living in the new school basement... and had a soul". Willow tries to minimize her own role in the events of last spring. " Buffy found him, and ... well... kinda rehabilitated him, I guess. He's different now".
"Oh, yeah, I bet," Faith says, her tone ironic, " All I can say is, that chip better work with me, or I'm staking Bleach Boy".
"That's the thing... the chip started malfunctioning...it was firing all the time" Willow says." He often couldn't... or wouldn't... get out of his bed in the basement..."
"The basement?" Faith asks, suspiciously, " He's living in the school basement still?".
" No..." Willow says, " Buffy's basement".
" You're shitting me, right?" Faith asks, " This ... is a joke, right?"
Willow shakes her head. " Anyway, " She continues, " they finally had to call in the Initiative doctors. Seems the chip was shorting out. They could fix it... or remove it." Willow looks at Faith, her eyes slightly hardened.
" Don't...don't tell me what I think you're gonna tell me!" Faith says. That'd be just plain insanity!
" Buffy... had them remove it" Willow says, her tone cold, " I'm still not believing it. But it's true".
Faith makes some kind of angry noise, and walks off. She starts pacing, trying to get a grip. She finally comes back and confronts Willow.
" You're telling me.. .that B... has this...thing... without its leash...living in the same house...with all those girls?" Faith glares at Willow. Willow nods. " IS SHE FUCKING NUTS?" Faith explodes.
" He...He's got a soul..." Willow starts, but Faith cuts her off.
" Screw THAT!!! God," Faith can't believe what she's hearing, " I mean, you've never met anyone evil with a soul before?" Faith is in a rage. She kicks the bumper on the car. " What the HELL is she thinking? IS she thinking? Why not just put in a pit of vipers down there? The girls would be safer, for Christ's sake!".
" You see why I'm worried?" Willow says," Buffy's not thinking straight."
" Shit, girlfriend, " Faith says, " She's not thinking at all!".
" I'm really afraid, Faith" Willow confesses, " She's heading for disaster. Big time. She's gonna make a mistake, a big mistake... and it's gonna be over. She'll be dead, and ... we'll be dead".
" No ones gonna be dead " Faith says, quietly, " Just time that B had a little... sisterly advice ". Faith's look is not at all happy.
" I didn't ask you along to fight with Buffy, " Willow says, " She needs help... not bruises".
" I don't plan on fighting with her, " Faith says, " But she may need a little convincing." She stops, and looks at Willow, " How're you feeling, better?" Faith asks.
"Yeah... better, " Willow says, " ready to go?".
"Oh, yeah, " Faith says, her voice a low growl.

" Faith... look, you gotta promise. I need you to help Buffy... not make it harder" Willow says, firmly, " otherwise, I'll just drop you at the next town."
" I'm not gonna fight with her!" Faith snaps, annoyed, " I said that already. But she needs straightening out!".
" Ok, Faith" Willow says, quietly, " I ... I agree".
"Fine, let's motor. We've wasted enough time already".
The two women head back for the car.
They drive along quietly for awhile. Both are wound tighter than a spring, and both are afraid any little thing'll set the other off. The radio plays some music in the background, but the savage breast is so not being soothed. Faith sits in the passenger seat, looking out the window, drumming her fingers on the door sill. Something's nagging at her...
" Ok, Red, I don't get it" Faith finally says.

"What?" Willow replies, not understanding.
" Ok, you got all these concerns and worries, " Faith says, " You ...you're probably closer to B than anybody. How come you aren't like...talking to her about it?".
Willow clears her throat, but doesn't say anything. She just stares out the windshield.
" It don't make sense, " Faith continues, when she doesn't get an answer, " You and B are closer than two tics on a dog. If anyone could make B see... reason, it'd be you. What's going on?"
Willow clears her throat again, but this time answers, " Ummm... last spring... things got weird between me and Buffy. Really weird... they're still kinda weird... so, ummm... Buffy and I aren't like... so close anymore".
"C'mon, Red, everybody goes through weird once in awhile... friends make up, get over it, " Faith antennae are buzzing, "You're holding back ... what is it?" Faith looks at Willow, who's consciously avoiding her stare. Faith's eyes narrow. " Hey... did ... ummm... did you and Buffy... well... did you kinda... get together...ya know?" Faith hesitates, not wanting to piss off Willow...and not really understanding why.
"What? Get together... Oh...OH! NO!!! nothing...nothing like that!" Willow blushes, " God, Buffy is straight....".
" Yeah, well... everybody gets curious, " Faith says, " Just cuz she prefers stick, doesn't means she won't do automatic...".
"Yes... well... get your mind out of the gutter, Faith. THAT didn't happen!" Willow says, adamantly.
"Ok, ok, just guessing. God, don't get so ... pissy" Faith says. Strangely, she feels some little measure of...relief? " Anyway, what did happen, then?" Faith says, veering quickly off that subject.
We're not going there. She doesn't need to know about that! Willow thinks to herself. She briefly looks at Faith, who's staring out the windshield. Willow feels a strange... desire to tell her. She can't figure it, but... she wants to. God, she's gonna think... who cares what she thinks? At least, she won't be all paranoid or probing. Just do it, Will. Ok , ok , ok!
" Look you remember I told you Tara died last spring?" Willow begins, her stomach tying up in knots. She so doesn't want to go here again... but does...has to.
"Yeah... really sorry to hear that, Red, " Faith says, not knowing what else to say. Didn't really know the chick...so what can I say?
" Well.. I didn't tell you everything about it" Willow says, her voice quiet. Belying the emotions going through her. " Thing is, we'd been broken up for awhile. I...I had some problems with magic. I got addicted"
Faith makes a face, " How do you get addicted to magicks?" She asks.
" They're kinda like drugs, Faith, " Willow says, " Used properly, moderately, they help. Used excessively...you...well...you get addicted... kinda like a super high".
" Ok, " Faith says, not really understanding, but not wanting the long version, " So... you were broke up...?"
"We'd just gotten back together... after I ... well, I ... rehabilitated, you know?" Willow says, " It... was wonderful. Like it'd been before. Better." Willows voice is edging on sorrow, " But then... that day... she got shot... right in front of me. The bullet went in her back... and her....blood...oh, god" Willow stops, the pain too great. She grips the steering wheel hard, trying to keep control. Her knuckles are white.
Faith is ... shocked. Something that doesn't happen often. " God, Red... I had no idea... that... I can't imagine how...God, I'm so sorry" She looks at Willow, and sees her going pale again, "Ummm... maybe you should pull over...let me drive".
"No...no, I'm ok, really" Willow says. She regains a grip on herself. " It gets worse".
" Worse? How?" Faith asks, bewildered. What could be worse than seeing your girlfriend killed in front of you?
Willow begins to relate, slowly, what happened after Tara's death. She goes into the how she got the power, her transformation... everything she did. Faith, shocked before, is now floored. When she gets to the part about flaying Warren, Faith feels her stomach turn over. She looks at Willow, and sees pure hatred mixed with self disgust. God, she must've hated him... to do that... Faith shudders. Then Willow continues, and talks about trying to kill Jonathan and Andrew... finally she gets to the part where she fights Giles, steals his powers... Huh? Giles...with powers? ... and tells how she planned to destroy the world. Faith just can't believe that... it's too incredible... she turns to make a disparaging remark... and sees the look on Willow's face... the anger, the guilt, the remorse all fighting for control. She realizes...she's not lying. And Faith again feels her stomach turn over... almost wanting to vomit. Then she gets to the part about Xander, how he stopped her . This story is just getting too fantastic to believe. Xander? Saves the world? What next? Barney the Vampire Slayer?
Willow goes on to explain her 'recovery' in England...she was gone 4 months. When she returned, things... were different. Her friends tried to make her feel welcome, but there was... a wall between them.
"... they didn't trust me anymore. Can you blame them, really?" Willow says, but it hurts, nonetheless, " They tried...try...to make me feel like I'm part of everything. But ... I can feel it, you know? They don't trust me... and they fear me. They're scared of me, " Willow says, then adds, " Hell, I'm scared of me. I... still don't feel in control, entirely".
Faith is shaking her head, trying to take all of this in. It's just too much to take in at once. Willow? Murderer? Attempted destroyer of the world? She shudders. It's like someone telling her that Santa Clause is really a knife wielding child murdering cannibal. It's... just not possible. She can't believe it.
"C'mon, Willow. I've heard some stories in my time, but you really expect me to swallow that one? You? Minnie Mouse, Big Bad deluxe? No...no way, just aint happening" Faith dismisses it.
For some reason, Faith not believing her makes her upset... and angry. " Fine, believe whatever you want!" She says shortly.
But Faith hears something different. Her ...voice is deep...too deep...and she turns to look at Willow... and sees those...darkened eyes again, if only briefly. Holy crap! Faith feels a chill down her spine, and she realizes: it's all true...every bit of it. For a second fear grips her heart, then it's replaced with another emotion... empathy.
She knows what it's like to go down that dark path. How you can lose yourself, any control you think you've got is bogus. You don't mean to go that way, you think you're doing the right thing, until it all snowballs on you, and suddenly you're ...
"Red... I'm sorry...I...Willow? God, I know what it's like, I really do!" Faith says, a strain of sympathy and understanding in her tone, " I... know what it's like...trying to come back. I'm... sorry I didn't believe you." She reaches out, and tentatively pats Willow on the shoulder, " It's ok, it's gonna be ok. You're gonna make it... believe me".
Willow is touched deeper than she can believe. Her friends, the ones who're supposed to understand and support her, just don't get it. The one person she least expected sympathy and understanding from, got it right away...reached out to try to comfort her, even if a bit clumsily. It's confusing, and in a way, a tiny bit wonderful. She'd been feeling she'd never see daylight again... but this tiny gesture, more than anything else, gave her hope. She glanced briefly over at Faith, and saw a tiny, encouraging smile on her, instead of her usual cynical smirk. As if a veil had been lifted from her eyes, she saw a different Faith... not the one she'd thought she'd known, but someone who had a lot more sides to her. In that instant, without either of them realizing it consciously, a small bond grew between them. It was tenuous and easily damaged, but it was real.
A silence descended on the car. But this time, it wasn't uneasy. The two women continued down the road, content to just not talk. There was no need to, everything had been said. At least, for now.
45 minutes later, they're getting close to Sunnydale. They've turned off the freeway, and are on the feeder road into Sunnydale. The last rise is coming up, and then the curve leading into Sunnydale proper. The city sign, " Welcome to Sunnydale" is just coming before them when....
In front of them, a person fell out of a speeding truck. Willow almost ran into the person lying on the road, and had to apply the brakes hard, jerking her and Faith violently forward.
"What the hell? " Faith said, jolted awake. " What's going on?"
"In the road, look..." Willow pointed to the shape lying on the road. " What's that?".
Willow pulls the car over to the side, and both of them get out. Willow rushes over and reaches the person first.
" It's a girl... and she's hurt...oh, god...she's bleeding... bad!" Willow pulls off her sweater, trying to staunch the blood.
Faith walks over, and with an unsurprised look on her face, observes, " Well, I guess we're back in Sunnydale, alright".
They lift the wounded girl, and carry her to Willow's car.
To be continued.
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Independence

Independence

Independence - Part 2