Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

The Shock of the Normal	By : QueenB Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Het - Male/Female > Angel(us)/Buffy > Angel(us)/Buffy Views: 10695 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Dawn wondered how Buffy was this morning. She’d been far off and spacy ever since…she didn’t really like to think it, much less say it. But there was no ducking the truth. Buffy had been dead and it had changed her. Many days, her younger sister had wondered if Willow had really done the right thing by bringing her back. Then she’d hate herself for thinking that and mercilessly stomp on the idea.
I’m glad Buffy’s back. If she weren’t, I’d be stuck with Dad and have to share him with his new wife. Of course that was a completely selfish reason for wanting her sister back but she couldn’t help it. She wouldn’t be sorry for having Buffy back...even if her sister was having trouble coping.
Lately Dawn had taken to waking early. It was distressing to get up and not find Buffy in the house so she would pop into her sister’s bedroom to see that she was there. Not that she was checking on her older sister or anything. It was just more reassuring to know that her big sis was still around the place.
Face it. You’re worried that she’s going to die on patrol or bail the way she did that summer after she sent Angel to hell. She hesitated outside Buffy’s door, chewing her lower lip. Yep, that was the big worry. Getting Buffy back hadn’t made Dawn any less afraid of what was out there in the world. If anything, it made her more nervous than ever.
That’s why she often begged for Buffy to take her out on patrol. She accepted that Buffy couldn’t protect her always. Why couldn’t she share this with her sister? That might bring peace of mind to both of them.
Resolving to bring up the topic another time when she felt Buffy might be in the mood, Dawn rapped at the door. “Hey, Buff. Time to wake up and smell the breakfast. I’m making your favorite--pre-packaged cereal.” No answer and she was certain Buffy hadn’t gotten up before her. Had her sister gone out again last night after that demon had poisoned her?
She pushed open the door only to have it pulled open on the other side. She stumbled forward and found herself staring into a broad masculine chest. “Dawn?” came the soft voice. “Shhh. Keep it down. Your sister had a rough night.”
She blinked and gazed up at the last face she ever thought she’d see. “Angel? What are you doing here? I mean, when did you show up? Did you and Buffy boink?”
He clapped his hand over her mouth before she could babble out any more questions and gently eased the door shut be him him. When they were standing safely in the hallway, he removed his hand and said, “Cordelia had a vision, last night and no, not that it’s any of your business.”
She looked at the door shut behind him and unconsciously lowered her voice. “Cordelia had a vision? What, she, like, sees things in her head now?”
He smiled at her avid curiosity as he tried to explain. “That’s pretty much it. She saw a vision of you and Buffy’s friends being attacked by a demon and she sent me down here to investigate.”
Her face twisted into a sullen pout, an expression that reminded him eerily of her older sister. “Oh. So you’re just here to help and then you’ll take off again, huh?”
He shifted his feet at the hostile accusatory tone in her voice. “Well, I have to. I have work back in L.A.”
She shrugged in typical teenage fashion. “Figures. That’s what Riley did, too.”
Angel’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Buffy’s old boyfriend. “The commando? What does he have to do with it?”
She gazed shrewdly at his face while she debated how much to tell him. She’d once thought that Angel leaving Buffy had been the best thing for her sister. She didn’t understand how Buffy could have been in love with someone who made her so miserable all the time.
But she had seen that the happiness Buffy apparently got from Riley was just a fake she copped to make her friends feel better. She used to get a special expression when she thought of Angel that made her appear to glow on the inside. She never looked that way with Riley. Ever after she’d started dating the soldier, Dawn had sometimes heard her crying Angel’s name in her sleep. And now here was Angel, back again, and still jealous about Riley.
Dawn shrugged again, staring at Buffy’s door. “Riley showed up a couple of weeks ago. He was in town to get a demon, too, and he needed Buffy’s help. He kinda failed to mention that he was married. I know Buffy never loved him but she was really upset that his life turned out so well while hers was so crappy. He used her to find the demon, then he and his wife--who basically was Buffylite, if you ask me--took off in a chopper. Buffy was pissed about it but she never said anything. She never does. You know what she’s like.”
Buffy hadn’t loved Riley? He hadn’t known that. She had stated rather emphatically that she did when she came to warn him about Faith’s arrival in L.A. But it seemed she had wanted to hurt him and she’d succeeded. “Oh. So Finn just left again,” was his only comment.
“Yep. Just like you’re gonna do, I’ll bet. Good thing Spike’s hanging around. He’s been really helpful while Riley’s been off playing demon killer in the jungle.”
Oh yeah, that struck a nerve. She saw Angel’s face take on a decidedly grim look and then he turned back to the door. “I-I have to check on Buffy, Dawn. I promised her I’d be there when she woke up.”
“Really? Well, that would be a first,” was the teenager’s tart reply and she turned around, her hair swinging behind her as she ran down the stairs.
__________
He mused about Dawn’s parting words as he lay down beside Buffy again. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who’d disapproved of his walking away into the fog. Dawn was only a kid, though. She couldn’t understand the complexities of adult relationships. Still, he’d spent a large part of the night thinking about where he stood in Buffy’s life.
He’d never forgotten his golden-haired Slayer. He was honest about that. Having her in his arms made him feel--right with the universe. It was as if everything came together and made sense. Two warriors being together, loving together and fighting the good fight. Buffy loved all of him, good and bad, in a way the others at A.I. never did or understood. Would it be so terrible for him to keep himself in her life, especially seeing how badly off she was without him?
He remembered what Xander had said to him last night. The man made a lot of sense. It wasn’t easy making a life with demons, even ex-demons, but the former donut carrier of the Scooby gang was willing to try. Why should he prove any less up to the task than a mere mortal?
His train of thought stopped as he felt her stir in his arms. She rolled over, curling into him, her arm moving over his. He was absolutely still as he felt her breath on his lips. She was so close, close enough to kiss and the temptation to do so was overwhelming. Just as he was debating the wisdom of remaining in his current position, her eyelids parted and hazel orbs stared into his own dark gaze.
“Angel.” Her voice was calm as if this were nothing more than she expected and her fingers reached up to caress one cool cheekbone opposite her own. His eyes were locked onto hers and, for what seemed like an age, neither of them moved or spoke. “You’re still here.”
“Yes, beloved.” The word escaped him easily and he felt no wish to call it back. She was his beloved, the beauty both he and Angelus laid claim to. If he thought he could ever confess it without fear of frightening her, he would tell Buffy just how much his demon thought her the perfect partner to itself--a capable, powerful warrior. Why else had he never been able to kill her when his worser half had re-emerged?
“Then I’m not dreaming. This world is real.” He nodded as her hand slipped down and touched his chest. It wasn’t a sensual touch at all. She was checking for the lack of a heartbeat and was absurdly reassured that there was none to be felt under her warm palm. After a moment she sighed and pulled away from him. “I should go see to Dawn.”
“That’s not necessary. She came in to check on you.”
Her eyes widened in embarrassment. “She did? Then she saw you, didn’t she?”
He nodded and glanced at the bedroom door. He could detect Dawn’s unique scent. She was hovering at the door, spying on her sister. “Yes, and she’s listening in now. I think she’s worried about you.” There was a sharp squeak and he heard her footsteps scurrying off.
Buffy scowled and rushed towards the door. “Dawn! What did I tell you about listening at doors!”
An indignant shout came from downstairs. “I was just going downstairs to make breakfast! Give me a break!”
She banged the door shut and looked at Angel. “So what happens now?”
Angel stood up and faced Buffy. She was lucid enough for the moment. Anger seemed a good way to keep her focused. He could only hope that Willow had the antidote ready for her. “We should see what Willow’s managed to accomplish.”
Buffy shook her head as she stepped closer to him. “That’s not what I--”
Suddenly the door swung open again as Willow walked in, cradling a mug in her gloved hands. “Hey, Buffy, I’ve got--Angel! What are you doing here?”
He smiled ruefully at the red-haired woman. He was genuinely glad to see the wiccan again. The circumstances were certainly happier than the last time they’d met. She had brought his beloved back from the grave. True, Buffy didn’t seem too happy for it but he couldn’t regret having her back in the world. “Guess I should get used to that reaction. I thought Xander might have told you about me.”
“Oh, he did. He just didn’t tell me you’d be…here here. I thought you’d help him find the demon and then take off the way you do, not that you’d be of the here in Buffy’s bedroom,” she finished lamely.
Buffy’s eyes swung between the two of them. “That’s right. You mentioned something about helping Xander last night,” she mused. Then her accusing gaze fixed on Willow. “How come you didn’t tell me he was here?”
Angel jumped in to defend the redhead. “I told them not to tell you, Buffy. I honestly didn’t want you to see me. I-I thought it would make you too upset.”
“Then why did I wake up and find you in my room? Why did you stay?” Buffy wasn’t sure whether to be angry or not. Why was Angel here? Was it just because of Cordelia’s visions? The vampire himself seemed a little uncertain and Willow hovered near the door, wondering if she should leave.
“I just wanted to watch you, Buffy. I didn’t think it would do any harm. You weren’t supposed to wake up or find out I was here. But you were so troubled; you kept moaning in your sleep. Then when you woke and looked at me…I just couldn’t leave you.”
They gazed at each other and the air seemed to vibrate with unspoken longing. To Willow, it was just like being in the past. When Buffy and Angel got together, it was as if nothing else existed in the world but themselves. Being with them was like intruding on a private moment; it felt more intimate than the frankest sexual discussion by Anya.
“Uh, guys? The reason I came was because I got the antidote here.” She held up the ceramic cup in her small hand. “Buffy, you should drink this while it’s warm.” She thrust the cup into Buffy’s hand and silently edged out of the room, glancing back at the two of them.
Buffy held the cup for a moment as if disinclined to drink it and Angel frowned. “Buffy, what is it? You heard what Willow said.”
“I know. It’s just…” She bit her lip and stared into the cup as if she could find answers in its liquid depths. “I don’t remember much about last night, Angel. But things don’t seem any clearer this morning. I mean, things are supposed to seem better in the daylight, right? But they don’t. My life is still this unreal jumble and you’re still the undead boyfriend I can’t have. I drink this and the world goes back to being a meaningless mess. In that other world, I’m insane but at least they’re trying to make me better.”
“They’re trying to make you better here, too. Didn’t you see how concerned Willow was? How much she wanted to help you?”
Her eyes became fixed in a glassy stare. “Willow? The witch who dragged me out of Heaven? Yeah, she’s a help, all right. She’s trying to keep me here in this hellhole. Why? Why does everybody want me here so badly when they’re all going away? Why does anybody want me?”
Her hand was dipping imperceptibly lower and he jumped forward, grasping the cup before it could spill. “They want you because they’re your friends. They care about you. Buffy, I can’t say this enough.”
“Sure, they care. They’re all about the caring and sharing and humping and dumping. My friends are such a comfort.” The acrid odor of the demon was back and Buffy’s pupils had shrunk to tiny pinpoints.
Angel put down the cup on her nightstand and grabbed her, but she sagged in his grip. She would have fallen if he hadn’t held her up. “Buffy! Buffy! Please! Stay with me!”
“Buffy? Honey, what is it? Can you hear me?” Joyce Summers was stroking Buffy’s hair and staring worriedly into her daughter’s eyes. The psychotic flashes weren’t going away in spite of the doctor’s reassurances.
Buffy murmured, “Angel?”
Joyce frowned and glanced at the doctor. “I remember Angel. She kept babbling about him in the beginning. He was that vampire boyfriend of hers, wasn’t he?”
The doctor nodded. “That’s right. tol told me she’d been seeing some dropout before she left Hemery. What was his name?” He flipped through his papers.
“Pike. You said Angel was a replacement for him,” Joyce offered.
“In almost every detail. Bad boy in flannel instead of leather,” was the doctor’s reply.
Joyce scowled at his description. “Yes. I never liked him.”
The doctor moved closer and critically examined the crumpled blonde woman on the bed. “And when you all moved out of L.A., Buffy lost touch with him.”
Hank Summers spoke up then. “Thank god. It was one of good things about leaving L.A. But I thought she was seeing that Spike character. Wasn’t he another vampire? Why can’t she get away from them?”
Just then Buffy blinked and refocused on her mother. “Mom? Dad?” There was her mother, looking exactly as she had when she was alive--all radiant and glowing although her face was slightly creased in worry.
Joyce smiled at her. “Yes, sweetie. It’s us. Are you with Angel?” She nodded while struggling to reorient herself. She was in this place again, perched on the bed. Angel was gone and her anxious parents were talking, trying to convince her to stay with them. Did she want to? Was this really what she wanted?
She had her mom and dad here. That was of the good. But everyone else was gone. They insisted on her throwing out everything else in her life.
“Buffy? Buffy! Please! Come back to me.” She blinked and she was in bed again. Only this time, it was Angel holding her. “Buffy, talk to me.” He couldn’t tell if he was getting through to her or not. “You told me once that fighting was hard and that it’s everyday.”
“I’m tired of fighting,” she whispered, letting her head droop.
“Then they want you to give up in that world. They want you to give in.”
Was that what they were asking of her--to give in? It sounded so tempting to Buffy…and so very comforting. “Ye-no. They want me to be strong.”
“Then why is it all about letting go?” he demanded. “Doesn’t that sound too convenient, too easy? You wouldn’t let me do it.”
She knew what he meant--that magical Christmas when it had snowed in California, saving him from death by sunlight. Angel continued, “Fighting is hard. But you convinced me not to let go, to hang on. So we’ll try. We’ll both try. You have people who love you, who care about you. No one here is asking you to let go of the love your parents have for you or the love you feel for them. You carry that inside even if they’re not with you.”
She wasn’t answering but he could tell she was listening to him. “If these people are asking you to put aside all the good your friends have done for you, then something’s wrong with them. Fight, Buffy! Fight for yourself. Fight for me.”
“For you? Why? You’re not here. You’ll disappear like you’ve always done. It’s ridiculous that you’re even here now. Next thing you know Giles will come strolling through that door, too.” Buffy’s eyes became dull again.
“Buffy, please!” He shook her but she didn’t respond. He contemplated simply pouring the drink down her throat but he didn’t want her to choke.
“Angel, what’s the matter? I heard shouting.” Willow ran back in and stared in shock at the limp body of the Slayer cradled in his arms.
He started patting Buffy’s face. “I can’t get through to her, Willow. She won’t listen to me.”
She crouched by his side and rested her hand on Buffy’s forehead. “Oh goddess. She’s burning up! Buffy? Can you hear me?”
She didn’t move only continued to stare sightlessly at the ceiling. Willow glanced worriedly at Angel, panic beginning to appear on her pale face. “Keep talking to her, Angel. Maybe it’ll help.”
He stared helplessly at her, wondering if that were true. All at once he was reminded of that time she was afflicted with the demon blood that made her hear everybody’s thoughts but his own. He had saved her then and he became fiercely resolved not to give her up now without a struggle.
“Buffy, listen to me. I love you. I’ve always loved you. In 250 years I’ve never loved another woman like I’ve loved you. We’ve both been through so much and circumstances seem against us and yet we always wind up back together.
“I’ve got some crazy things going on in L.A. but the moment I heard you were in trouble I came back here. Why? Because no matter how good things get for me, nothing’s complete unless you’re in my life. Nothing makes sense if you’re not here with me. If you stay for me, Buffy, then I’ll stay for you. I don’t care how hard things get, how many apocalypses are thrown at us. If we love each other, we can find a way to make it work.”
For several long seconds there was no response. Then a spark deep within Buffy’s eyes flickered and they fastened on Angel again. “Angel? My mom and dad…they keep telling me to be strong.”
“You are strong, beloved.” Sensing her imminent surrender, he carefully reached up and brought the mug to her lips. She began sipping, her eyes never leaving his, grimacing slightly at the awful taste. She shuddered as the last mouthful went down her throat and then lay quietly.
The wiccan and the vampire sat tensely, waiting for some response. Then Buffy’s eyes moved towards her redheaded friend. “Willow?”
“Yes, Buffy?”
The blonde woman smiled faintly. “I’m really hungry. Is there any breakfast in the making?” Willow’s breath rushed out of her and she hugged her friend as best she could. Buffy’s arm came up to grab her. With Angel’s massive arms in the way, the three-way hug was a little awkward yet welcome, all the same.
Dawn peeked in the door and was confused but happy to see all three together. “Uh, guys? Is everything okay or does Buffy still have demon juice cooking her brain?” Willow pulled back to show the Slayer safely held in the circle of Angel’s embrace.
“I’m all good to go here, Dawn.” Then she frowned as something occurred to her.
“What is it?” Dawn asked in response to her worried look.
“We’ve still got a demon in the basement, don’t we?” The other three glanced at each other as they all remembered the bald-headed monster downstairs. Buffy sighed and scrambled up. “Well, first I kill it ‘cause, Slayer, that’s my job. Then we’ll have breakfast.”
Willow stood up, grinning, and poked Dawn in the arm. “Come on, Dawnie. Let’s go whip up some pancakes and breakfast flakes.” The two ran downstairs, their voices rising in audible relief.
Buffy and Angel stood awkwardly for a few moments before quietly following them. “I’ve got a weapons chest downstairs. Xander made it for me for my birthday. There ought to be something suitably sharp and pointy to deal with Captain Picard.”
“Mind if I join you? I won’t interfere, I just want to watch your back.”
As they strolled down the stairs, Buffy halted and Angel bumped into her as they confronted a familiar figure standing in the hallway. “Spike.”
__________
The flatly spoken syllable caused the blonde vampire to smirk in her direction. “Morning, Slayer. Back in the land of the sane, are we? Glad to see--” His voice cut off and he glared as he caught sight of Angel’s large body behind Buffy. “What the hell is the poofter doing here?”
“I could ask you that same question, Spike. I thought I made it clear where we stood last night,” Buffy replied coldly. Now that she was back in the clear light of day, she was amazed at how small Spike looked.
It wasn’t just size exactly. It was in terms of sheer insignificance. All the time she’d been with him, he’d carped on how wrong she was, how deficient, how she liked rolling in the dirt. He’d never made feel strong, powerful or protected. Just a few small words with Angel and she had remembered everything that made her feel good about herself--both as a woman and a Slayer.
Spike sensed the change in her attitude and bristled at the implications. “What? You think he can just blow back into town and everything will be back to the way it was? Forget it. You’ve moved on, Buffy. You know it and I know it.”
He stepped closer and his voice dropped, becoming low and insinuating. “Come on, Slayer. You know you’ve never had it so good as me.”
“No, Spike. I had better. I almost forgot that. But he reminded me.” She stepped down boldly invading his space. “He came here to help me and he succeeded. In all the time I was with you, you never did that. You always went on about how wrong I was. You tried to make me feel pathetic, worthless and weak. Because of that stupid message, I nearly chose to stay insane. But if I’m better now, it’s thanks to him. So you can just drag away your useless carcass.
“You’re not wanted here.”
The blonde vampire’s face never lost its cocky sneer. “You’re only saying that because the giant poof’s standing here. But I’m betting he’d take off soon enough if he knew what you’ve been up to.”
“I already know, Spike.” The low statement caused both blondes to stare at him. Buffy turned pale as she caught sight of Angel’s face. But he didn’t look angry--at least not with her. “From what she says, she ended the ugly little affair. Not that I blame her for it. She was probably hurting and unhappy when she took up with you. Funny how being with you didn’t make her feel any better.”
“Sod you, mate. Buffy and I have had great times together. Remember, pet?”
Spike tried stepping closer--only to be met with a solid shove that sent him staggering. He snarled, “Oh, great! All it takes is for the soulful nancy boy to show up and all’s right with the world, is it? You know what he’ll be like, Buffy. He’ll get all remorseful and take off again and it’ll be just you and me again, luv.” He grabbed Buffy roughly and tried to kiss her. He didn’t care if Angel was back; Buffy was his and he was determined to prove it the only way he knew how.
She brought her leg in a swift jab and kneed him solidly in the balls. As he yelped and stumbled back, he groused, “Fuckin’ hell! Save the rough stuff for when we’re alone, Slayer! No need to bring it on with an audience.” He straightened up and reached for her again.
She idly slapped away his hand and then shoved him so that he tripped and fell hard onto the floor. “Spike, you’re being really stupid, even for you. You’re acting like I broke up with you because of Angel. Fact is, I dumped you before I ever knew he was coming back.” She paused and then finished, “And he is back, Spike. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a demon to kill.”
The woman walked past him, head held high, and Angel followed her. Neither graced the fallen vampire with so much as another look.
Spike scrambled up off the floor, another snappy retort already forming on his lips, when he caught sight of Willow and Dawn staring at him from the living room. Shock and disgust were mingled in their eyes and he knew they must have caught at least part of the conversation. “Uh, morning, ladies.”
“Spike, get out.” The cold order came from Dawn. Willow didn’t speak but the hostility in her expression was very clear.
Uh oh, the Nibblet was pissed at him. Spike tried to smooth things over. He genuinely liked Dawn and he wanted to remain in her good graces. “Look, Dawn, your sister and I have been going through some things--”
“And it sounds like she’s finished, at least on her end. How about getting the message and leaving?”
“Come on, it’s not like I forced her or anything!”
The redhead spoke up at last. “No? ‘Cause it didn’t look that way just now. She said it’s over, so it’s over. No means no, Spike, even here in America. Now get lost. We’ve got breakfast to fix.” Willow tossed him his blanket and pulled open the front door.
Spike hesitated but the women’s gazes remained implacable. He covered himself with the material but couldn’t resist one last parting shot. “You people are really begging to get your throats ripped out, you know that? One happy sex session--”
The last of his words were cut off as Willow slammed the front door behind him. She locked the door and turned to Dawn. “I know I swore off the magic but if I can’t get hold of Tara, I’m throwing up the de-invite spell again. I don’t want Spike coming back here.”
She cast an uncertain eye at Dawn. She knew the teenager was still antsy about her using magic again and she had promised the others she would stay away from it. But she knew just how dangerous Spike could get and she didn’t want to take any chances of his reappearance at the house now that Buffy was finally getting on an even keel.
“No arguments in this corner.” An unhappy expression appeared on Dawn’s face as she thought about the ugly scene that had just played out. “Willow, how long do you think Buffy and Spike were…?” Her voice trailed away as she remembered all the nights Buffy came in with bruises and scratches on her body and evasive stories about a run-in with a demon.
“I-I don’t know, Dawnie. We’ll just have to wait for Buffy to tell us.”
“It’s--she was lying to us and keeping secrets and it was just so wrong! How could she do that to us?”
Willow reached out to Dawn. The teenager was getting mad again and the wiccan sensed a major tantrum in the offing. “Dawn, you heard what Buffy and Angel said. She was hurting and Spike took advantage. She was probably ashamed and was afraid we’d be all of the judgy--sorta like what you’re being now.”
The teenager chewed her lip for a moment and then admitted to herself that she was being judgy. “She still shouldn’t have lied to us,” she mumbled.
Willow raised her eyebrows and replied, “And what should she have said exactly? ‘Hey, guys, I’m having hot skanky sex with Spike. Pass the butter?’ Face it, Dawn. This wasn’t something she felt she could talk to anybody about.”
“Not even you?” Dawn asked.
Willow’s eyes became haunted, as she guessed exactly why Buffy wouldn’t have mentioned it to her. “Especially not me. If she was shacking up with Spike because she felt so lousy, then she wouldn’t have wanted to talk to the reason for the lousiness, now would she?”
“I guess not.” Dawn paused while she considered something. “Didn’t Buffy say she was going downstairs to kill that demon?”
Willow wondered what she was getting at. “Yeah.”
The teenager cocked her head as she listened. “Well, they’ve been down there awhile now. Just how long does it take to run a demon through the guts with a sword anyway?”
The two females looked at each other and their eyes widened as they both came to the same conclusion. “You don’t think they’re--”
“No way, Dawnie. They wouldn’t.”
They hesitated and then both of them ran for the basement stairs. “Buffy! Angel!”

TBC
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The Shock of the Normal