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Violently Happy	By : marksandspence Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - Het - Male/Female Views: 3216 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Part1a
- 2-Part1b
- 3-Part1c
- 4-Part1d
- 5-Part1e
- 6-Part2a
- 7-Part2b
- 8-Part3a
- 9-Part3b
- 10-Part3c
- 11-Part4a
- 12-Part4b
- 13-Part4c
- 14-Part4d
- 15-Part5a
- 16-Part5b
- 17-Part5c
- 18-Part5d
- 19-Part5e
- 20-Part5f
- 21-Part5g
- 22-Part5h
- 23-Part6a
- 24-Part6b
- 25-Part6c
- 26-Part6d
- 27-Part6e
- 28-p.s. Flight of Fancy
- 1
- 2
- 3
Scene 4
Buffy’s house. Thursday night. The gang is gathered in the kitchen, cleaning up after a group dinner of some sort. Everyone except Giles is there (Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya). Some of them are cleaning up, some are sitting down having coffee. Miranda actually has a laptop out.
Xander: “So I guess the whole thing has been a whopping false alarm, am I right?
Miranda: [looking down at the screen] “Based on the latest thing Giles gave me, it looks that way.”
Xander: “Things have been pretty calm the last couple of nights patrolling, right Buff?”
Buffy: “Yep. I would say ‘too calm’ but it hasn’t been totally quiet. S’pose Saturday won’t be the big shoot-em-up afterall.”
Xander: “You sound disappointed.”
Buffy: “Well, it’s not as if I have plans--It IS Valentine’s Day and I am currently sans Valentine. Was kinda hopin’ to be saving-the-world busy to take my mind off it. Will, you don’t have plans, right? Tara’s going to be out of town?”
Willow: “Actually, we’ve got long-distance plans [mutual sexy look between Willow and Tara]. It’s a witch thing.”
Buffy: “Dawn?”
Dawn: “I’ve got that dance, remember? Who wants to go dress shopping with me tomorrow?”
Anya: “Me! Me! Xander is taking me to a very expensive restaurant on Saturday, aren’t you sweetie? The kind of place where they don’t even put the prices on the menu. I wonder if any shops around here have DRESSES like that?” [Xander looks a bit nervous about this]
Xander: “Anything for you, my little-wage earner.”
Knock at the kitchen door and in walks Spike.
Buffy: [to Spike] “Ten more minutes and I’ll be ready to head out.”
He walks in and leans against a wall. He exchanges a quick ‘greeting’ nod and smile with Miranda, who is still sitting at the table with the computer.
Spike: [seeing everyone with mugs] “Isn’t anyone going to offer me a cup of tea?”
Xander: “Since when do you drink tea?”
Spike: “It’s a bit nippy out there—even vampires can get chilled.”
Buffy: “Buy you DON’T want tea now because we’re about to head out on patrol, right Spike?”
Spike: “I’d love a cup, thanks very much.”
Buffy rolls her eyes.
Dawn: “I’ll get it”
Anya: “Don’t feel too bad, Buffy. You’re probably not the ONLY one in all of Sunnydale without a date for Saturday.”
Willow: “Yeah, I’m sure there’s probably something going on at the Bronze. You know, for all the people without dates—[catching herself, she adds cheerfully] I mean, swinging single people…[frowning]…that sounds kind of sad, doesn’t it? I’ll stop talking now.”
Spike: “What are you all on about?”
Anya: “Saturday is Valentine’s Day and Buffy doesn’t have a date and now that there’s no apocolypse, she’s depressed.”
Dawn: “Spike, what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?” [glare from Buffy]
Spike: [remembering something]. “Hate Valentine’s Day. Bloody stupid, made-up holiday. Back me up on this, Miranda, Valentine’s Day didn’t even EXIST 50 years ago. Complete commercial bullshit.”
Miranda: “He’s right.”
Dawn: “But there was a St. Valentine, right? I think I read about it in school.”
Miranda: “Yeah there was. Met him a few times. Right BASTARD, too, he was.”
Spike laughs at this. Everyone else is serious, believing her.
Tara: “Really? He was jerk?”
Miranda: [looking up from her computer; sigh] “Spike, why don’t you tell the gang what the appropriate response to my amusing little remark should have been.”
Spike: [still smiling in a somewhat silly voice] “Why, Miranda, you’re not possibly old enough to have known St. Valentine, stop takin’ the piss.”
Miranda: “Honestly, don’t you people know ANYTHING about history?”
Spike: [continuing his rant] “It’s just a silly excuse to force people to spend all their money on bloody flowers and presents and candy—and they don’t even APPRECIATE it, not to mention [not able to resist himself] it makes people like our little slayer here feel like pathetic losers because they can’t get a date.”
Buffy throws a roll at him.
Buffy: “DON’T have a date is NOT the same thing as CAN’T get a date; I’m just going to get my coat and then we’re LEAVING.”
Spike: “Whatever, [still ranting] it’s a pathetic excuse for a holiday.”
Miranda: [looking up from her computer screen] “So Spike. Would you like to be my date for Valentine’s Day?”
Spike: “Yeah, all right.” [absolutely no hesitation]
Miranda scribbles something on a piece of paper & hands it to him.
Miranda: “Pick me up here at 8:30?”
Spike nods and takes the paper and tucks it in his pocket; Buffy walks in with her coat.
Buffy: “Let’s go. [noticing the stunned silence of everyone in the room] What?”
Lots of looks being shot across the room. No one wants to say anything in front of Buffy. Instead people just babble “nothing”; They walk out. Spike his a nice little grin on his face.
Xander: “Uh, what just happened?”
Anya: “Miranda just asked Spike out on a date. Weren’t you listening?”
Xander: “Again, what just happened?”
Willow: “You know, it’s really not that important to have a date on Valentine’s Day, despite what Buffy was implying. You and Buffy could just hang out, rent movies and…uh…complain about guys. That’s always fun, right? From what I remember." [sly grin to Tara]
Anya: “And you know how many girls are dumped on Valentine’s Day? I could tell you some stories…”
Miranda: [toying with them a bit] “Don’t be silly. Why would I want to spend Valentine’s Day with Buffy?”
Xander: “Ok, Ok, so you want a date with a guy on Valentine’s Day. That’s reasonable. We can work with that. There are a TON of strapping young guys in Sunnydale—heck I work with many of them. Seriously, a girl like you could take her pick.”
Miranda: [considering] “You’re probably right.”
Anya: “Oh, Xander, I’m sure she doesn’t want to go on a blind date. Surely she wants someone familiar. I’ll bet Giles would go out if you asked him. I think he likes you.”
Miranda: “Listen, I see what you’re all trying to do. The thing is, I want to go out with Spike.”
Xander: “I am so not following you.”
Just then a cell phone rings—It’s Miranda’s. While she answers it, looks abound between the gang—non-verbal communication indicating that they’ll talk about this later.
Miranda: “Have to rush off now. Tell Giles that I’m sorry I missed him. If he has any questions about what’s on the disk, have him call me at home tomorrow. Goodnight. I had a lovely time. Pass along my thanks to Buffy when she gets back.”
Miranda puts on her coat and leaves
End Scene.
Scene 5
Magic shop. Friday afternoon, the same week. Anya is at the register; Giles is helping a customer find something. The customer leaves without buying anything and as she leaves, Giles turns the Open/Closed sign around and walks back towards the counter.
Anya: “No luck, huh? I swear I could taste that final sale of the day. What went wrong? She looked eager to buy.”
Giles: “We didn’t have what she was looking for.”
Anya: “a-ha! That is where an experienced salesperson would have convinced her she needed something else. Now the last sale of the day was that smelly guy two hours ago who bought the libido candle [shudder]. So disappointing. Who knew retail could be so emotionally draining. I’ll just count the money in the register and then I’ll be off. I still have to buy a dress for tomorrow.”
Giles: “What’s tomorrow?”
Anya: “Valentine’s Day. Xander is taking me somewhere expensive. Funny, it used to be my busiest day of the year back when I was in the vengeance trade. Now I’m one of the lucky ones who gets pretty things and has a guaranteed date [gets all dreamy eyed; suddenly noticing Giles cleaning his glasses and looking somewhat distant]. Oh, but it’s really no big deal for someone who…uh…doesn’t have plans, I mean Buffy d…” [interrupted by a knock at the door]
Giles: “Do you mind getting that?”
Anya looks mildly annoyed at being asked to leave the money, but at the thought that it might be Xander, goes to the door.
Anya: [a bit disappointed] “It’s just Miranda”
Miranda: “Expecting Xander, were you?” [shrug from Anya]
Giles: [looking pleased] “Miranda. To what do we owe the pleasure?”
Miranda: “I’ve got something to show you. An intriguing little piece that just came my way from a supplier friend up in San Francisco who owed me a favor. By the way, did you get that file I left for you last night and were you able to make heads or tails of it?”
Giles: “Yes, yes. A grand miscalculation, after all, I guess. I still think there may be something a bit out of the ordinary going on, but we’ll have to dig a little deeper to figure out what. [indicating her bag] Let’s have a look at what you’ve brought.”
Miranda: [pulling something out of her bag that is wrapped carefully in cloth] “It leans more to the artifact side of old, rather than the antiques that I am used to dealing with. I’m rather hoping you can tell me something about it. [suddenly thinking of something, she stops unwrapping for a moment and looks up at Giles] Do you mind that I call you Giles like the rest, or would you prefer Rupert? I’ve been meaning to ask.”
Giles: “Oh, right. Uh, whichever you prefer. There’s not much in it, I suppose.”
Miranda: “I quite prefer Giles—easier to say. Unless you have another nickname?”
Giles: [slightly more serious] “No, not anymore. Not really.”
Based on his response, she thinks about asking, but doesn’t.
Miranda: “Right then. The chap that gave it to me said he thought it was Mayan or Aztek or something.”
She pulls out something about the size and shape of a medium sized vase. It’s made of a somewhat opaque stone and is free of markings, except for two symbols etched on the surface of one side. It has a stopper of some kind, like the kind you find that seal modern glass containers full of corrosive acid.
Giles: “It’s brilliant. I can’t place the material it’s made out of. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it. Let’s see if we can get a better look at those etchings.”
He takes a piece of paper and a wax pen and rubs it over the surface of the container.
Giles: “I think your friend is right. The symbols are Mayan, or at least very similar. The seal is remarkably constructed for something that old. I wish I knew what the material was—I think I have a book on Mayan symbols somewhere. Let’s have a look.”
He heads over to the bookshelves and picks one out. After leafing through for a minute, he says:
Giles: “Hm. Doesn’t match any of these exactly. The most similar seem to be ’Heat’ for the first one and ‘Heart’ for the other.”
Miranda: “What do you think it was used for? The Mayans were one of the first civilizations to try their hand at surgery. Could it have been used in that capacity somehow?”
Anya: [interrupting from the counter] “Human sacrifice. Don’t forget human sacrifice.”
What?
Anya: “They’re also known for the ritualistic human sacrifices. And a fondness for removing hearts—could have something to do with that.”
Giles: “Hm. Certainly a nice piece. What do you intend to do with it?”
Miranda: “I don’t know. Probably hang onto it for a bit. I think it’s lovely. Do you mind if I borrow that book. Perhaps I can find something more about it.”
Giles: “Yes, certainly. I have a couple more that may be of use if you’d like [walks over to the bookshelves. Appears to think of something] Perhaps we could get together to discuss what you’ve found. Perhaps tomorrow? Over dinner?”
Before Miranda can answer, Anya creates a distraction my pushing a large book off the counter, which makes a very loud thud as it hits the floor.
Anya: “Silly me. I can be SUCH a clutz.”
They both look over at Anya who is now picking up the book off the floor; they watch her for a moment and then Giles turns back to Miranda.
Giles: “So...”
Anya throws a glass on the floor.
Giles: “Anya! What has gotten in to you?”
Anya gives Miranda a look; she obviously doesn’t want Miranda to tell Giles that she’s going out with Spike
Anya: “Sorry. Uh, counting the money always gets me a bit excited. [to Miranda] You and Buffy all set for that thing tomorrow night?”
Miranda: [not getting it; gives Anya a puzzled look] “What thing?”
Anya: “You know, that THING. That THING with Buffy? [looks at Giles and whispers] Girl stuff.”
Miranda: [Getting it now. Doesn’t really want to lie, but doesn’t want to hurt G’s feelings either so she plays along] “Oh right, the thing. With Buffy. [To Giles] Yeah, uh, s’pose tomorrow night won’t work. Perhaps another time. I’ll stop by Sunday afternoon.”
Giles: [a bit let down, but…] “Certainly.”
Miranda: “I should get going. I need to sort through some of my things in storage. Thanks for the books. I’ll be sure to give you a full report on Sunday.”
She packs up the artifact and the books and heads towards the door.
Giles: “Good night”
End scene
Scene 6
Saturday 9pm. Sidewalk outside a small apartment building. Spike is just finishing a cigarette. He’s wearing his leather coat and underneath a nice-ish button down black shirt, untucked and black pants. He drops the cigarette and covers it with his foot. He looks briefly at a small piece of paper and then stuffs it back in is coat. He steps up to the main door and rings the buzzer.
Voice from the intercom: “I’ll come down.”
Miranda appears in the hallway and steps out the front door. She has a bit of a smirk/half smile on her lips.
Miranda: [not angry] “I was beginning to think I’d been stood up.”
Spike: [Looks her over; she looks good. Shrugs.] “Don’t have a watch. [beat] Nice coat.”
Miranda is wearing a shin length light-blue leather coat.
Miranda: “Thanks. It does the job. So here it is—thought maybe we’d keep it simple and go to a pub, get a few drinks or something and maybe a bite to eat. How does that sound?”
Spike: “No pun intended? [This gets a smile] I know a place, but it’s quite a walk from here.”
Miranda: “We can take my car”
Spike: “Lead the way.”
**
Next we see them at the pub. They have a table off in a corner. There is an empty plate off to the side (remnants of Miranda’s dinner). Miranda is drinking wine. Spike has a bottle of beer. They seem relaxed and are in the middle of an animated conversation.
Spike: “He came right out and said that? In front of your mother? What an idiot.”
Miranda: “And not only that, my brother saw him the next day and he completely denied it.”
Spike: “He was always a bit of a wanker”
Miranda: [contemplating] “No, Sir Richard was a wanker. Charles was more of a pillock, don’t you think?”
Spike: “Oh yeah. If you looked up the definition of pillock, you’d find a picture of Charles along side it. God, is it just me or were people just ridiculously stupid back then?”
Miranda: “And yet we just played along, not saying a word. Well, Sarah always had a word or two to say, but never to anyone’s face. She was definitely the queen of insults. That was the worst thing, always having to be polite. I’m surprised we didn’t all combust or something, keeping it all in like that.”
We get the impression that they’ve spent the night reminiscing about people they both knew from the past—mostly making fun of everyone and being snarky about past events.
Miranda: “You know you’re more like her now that you ever used to be. Sarah, I mean. You’ve got her sarcastic wit.”
Spike: [a bit more serious] “She really did alright, then?”
Miranda: “Yeah. I think so. Never had much, but considering, she was happy.”
Spike: “You know, I never thought of her once. Not until you mentioned her the other day. Not once did she cross my mind these 100 years. [a bit guilty? Puzzled that now he has been thinking of her?] Everything changed and the past was over—’least the good things. Pain and anger seemed to carry over, but nothing much else.”
Miranda: [leaning in across the table] “When I saw you in London, I knew something had happened. You had a confidence, a fire that I’d never seen before. Silly me, I thought you’d simply managed to get laid. [intensely curious, leaning forward] What was it like?"
Just then, the music gets a bit louder; starts to become difficult to hear.
Spike: [responding to the loud music] “D’you want to continue this elsewhere?”
Miranda nods. Spike calls for the check. The waiter brings it over. Spike starts to fish in his pockets for money.
Miranda: “Oh, it’s Ok. I’ll get it. I was the one who invited you out. I think that’s the protocol nowadays.”
Spike ignores her and takes the bill up to the bar to pay with his money. Comes back, leaves a bill on the table for a tip and hands Miranda her coat. They walk out.
Spike: “So where to?”
Miranda: “My place is full of boxes still. [suddenly realizing that she has no idea what sort of place he might have] What sort of…uh….do you?…er”
Spike: “My place it is.”
Miranda: “Lead the way”
**
Next we see them driving up to the cemetery.
Spike: “You can leave the car here. It’s not much of a walk.”
Miranda: “So you actually live in a crypt. Hm. Do you sleep in a coffin, too?”
Spike: “You watch too many movies. You’ll see.”
They get out of the car and start to walk off.
Miranda: “Hang on a minute. Left something in the car.”
Goes back to the car and pulls out a small bag from the back seat.
Spike: “What’s that, then?”
Miranda: [coy smile] “It’s a surprise”
Spike: “Another mystery package from Miranda—don’t quite know what to think about that.”
They arrive at his crypt. They go in.
Miranda: [looking around] “I’m impressed. Not exactly a hole in the ground now is it? You do all this yourself?”
Spike: “Yeah. Got a bit of time on my hands lately. Didn’t used to be the domestic type, but uh—you’ve got to make the best of it, I s’pose.”
Miranda: “The chip.”
Spike shrugs in the affirmative. They sit down on the couch.
Spike: “You want a drink or something?”
Miranda: [suddenly reminded] “Oh, hold that thought. [she puts the bag on the table in front of them. explaining] Seems only proper to bring something the first time you’re invited to someone’s place and you know I’m a proper girl [smirk]. So just in case you invited me over, I brought a couple of things. The first is for us both.”
She pulls out a bottle of whiskey and puts it on the table. Spike picks it up (looking pleased) and has a look at the label.
Spike: “Girl after my own heart. Single malt, over 60 years old. Must’ve cost a bloody fortune.” [He gets up to get a couple of glasses and then pours two rather deep servings.]
Miranda: “Woulda done if I’d bought it at a shop—100 pounds at least. Luckily, I was married to the owner of the company—I’ve still got a case of it in storage.”
They touch glasses and take a sip.
Spike: [casually] “Split up, then? You ‘n the whiskey bloke?”
Miranda: [keeping with the casual tone] “Nah, long dead. He was mortal. They die.”
Spike: “By definition.”
Miranda: [moment of pain; she hides it well] “Right. [changing the subject] So do you think about killing people all the time?”
Spike: [surprised] “What sort of question is that?”
Miranda: [trying to explain] “I’m just trying to figure out what this whole vampire thing is all about. You’d be surprised how little I’ve learned about vampires hanging out with Buffy and friends. I mean, you don’t seem all that different on the outside and yet everyone is always going on about how vampires aren’t like people at all. So I figure that it’s got to be internal. You’re a vampire, so you’re pretty much designed to kill people and now you can’t so you don’t, but I’m just curious to know if you still think about it.”
Spike: [considering it] “First, I’m not terribly surprised [about how little she’s learned from the scoobies]. [pause while he thinks a minute] It’s really more the biting that sticks in my head—the taste and feel of it. Guess I used to think about killing all the time in the beginning. Then I found out I could kill demons and that took some of the edge off. Now, uh, I don’t really think about it much, you know, day to day. No point.”
Miranda: [back to the intensity level back at the pub when they were interrupted] “So how is it different? What do you feel now that you didn’t before?”
Spike: “Honestly don’t remember much about before—being human. But after—I felt strong. Free. Liberated. In an instant, everything was clear, focused.”
Miranda: [taking it in; trying to understand] “What do you do for food now? Can you get blood from hospitals or clinics and the like?”
Spike: “Sometimes. A real pain, though, and expensive if you can even find someone who’s sellin’. Mostly stick to animal blood—butchers sell it pretty cheap. Tastes a bit off, but it does the job.”
Miranda: [Indicating the sword leaning up against the wall on the other side of the room. It’s the one from the night they met] “You know you could get a bundle for the sword if you wanted to sell it. 10,000 pounds EASY if you know the right person to take it to.”
Spike: “Is that right. Quite a generous gift then. What could possibly have possessed you to give it up so easily. I doubt it was gratitude.”
Miranda: “As you’ve probably guessed, it wasn’t actually mine. Who fights with two swords, anyway?”
Spike: “So the sword with the blood on it was yours then.”
Miranda: “That’s a conversation I’d like to save for another day if that’s all right. How about I give you your present now?”
He’s curious about the sword, but willing to let it drop; Miranda takes the second item out of the bag and sets it on the table. It’s the Mayan container that she showed to Giles. Spike looks at it, not quite sure what to say/do.
Miranda: [realizing his confusion] “Oh, it’s what’s in it that’s important. I’ll be taking the container back—it’s worth quite a lot. Open it.”
Spike looks at it for a minute and figures out the trick to opening it. When he does, it’s obvious it was an airtight seal. He brings the container up to his nose and sniffs it. An intrigued smile crosses his face.
Spike: “It’s blood.”
Miranda: “It is. Seems only fair since you bought my dinner. You’ll find that it’s hot, even though the container is cold on the outside. That’s what’s brilliant about it. Apparently it was used by the Mayans for exactly this purpose—to keep blood at body temperature during their goes at primitive surgery.”
Spike takes a swig and then closes his eyes in enjoyment.
Spike: “It’s human blood. [He’s looking at her differently now; trying to figure her out. Where/how? Who IS this woman?] Aren’t you just full of surprises.”
Miranda: “Not sure if you’ll be pleased or disappointed, but I didn’t kill anyone if that’s what your thinking. I have a very rare blood type. Let’s just say there was a time when I needed to keep a supply around for...accidents. Had a doctor friend who would keep an eye out for the right type and save it for me. I’m less…uh…accident prone lately and so thought I could spare a pint.”
Spike: “Rare, hm? It does have a slightly different taste—more dense or something. [He finishes it] Cheers for that. Completely unexpected.”
Miranda: “So do people taste different?”
Spike: [He seems more energetic now. Not intending to answer the question] “My turn. [Pours another whiskey. Leans back on the couch.] What’s your thing, then? When I carried you to Buffy’s that night, you were, well, dead. And now here you are. If you’re immortal, why the change in animation?”
Miranda: “It’s simple, really. My heart stops beating and then somehow restores itself after a time—don’t know any more than that.” [She notices he’s now looking intently at her neck, trying to see her pulse. Didn’t he notice before? Doesn’t he believe her?] You can feel for it if you want. I won’t bite.”
He gives her a rather sexy look as he reaches his hand toward her neck. She can feel her heart beat more quickly in anticipation of his touch. As his fingers touch her neck in just the right spot, she jumps.
Miranda: [Laughing nervously. Embarrassed] “Sorry. Sorry. I…uh…forgot that you—your hand would be cold.”
Spike smiles. He touches her neck again and feels her pulse for a few seconds before taking his hand away.
Spike: “So warm. I’d almost forgotten. [beat] So what’s the cost then?”
Miranda: “What do you mean?”
Spike: “The cost of being immortal—eternal youth. There’s always a cost. Vampires can’t go out during the day, lose their soul, can’t eat garlic—you know things like that. What’s yours?”
Miranda: [Considering for just a moment. What’s the worst thing?] “We can’t have children.”
Spike: “Is that all? Gah, that’s nothing. Quite a deal you’ve got, then. [He suddenly notices the look on Miranda’s face. Being the perceptive bloke he is, he backtracks and in a softer voice] I guess, uh, that could be quite a cost if you were a certain sort.”
Miranda shakes it off, even though it’s obvious that she was put off by Spike’s reaction. She gets up off the couch and walks over to where the sword is. She lifts it up and starts to look at it more closely.
Miranda: “I never really got a good look at it the other night. It’s all right. Not as nice as mine.” [She looks up and Spike is standing right in front of her.]
Spike: “Hey, that’s my sword you’re fondling.”
Miranda: [coyly] “I can stop—if you want me to.”
He takes the sword out of her hand and sets it down on the floor. She still has the drink in her hand. She brings it to her mouth and takes a sip. He takes the glass from her hand and tosses it across the room. He leans in close. Puts one hand against the wall next to her head. She’s now leaning back against the wall. He’s looking at her greedily. She actually looks a tiny bit nervous. The intensity level has just gone off the scale.
Spike: [Inches from her face now; speaking in a soft voice] “You’re quite proud of yourself, aren’t you, for your little gift idea.”
Miranda: [smiles at this; a little laugh] “It was rather brilliant, don’t you think? It’s sort of a thing for me, gifts”
Spike: “Is that right?” [licks his lower lip with a little bite] “’Got my attention.”
Miranda: [her heart is racing now] “So, uh, do vampires…" [she's interrupted by…]
Spike: “No more questions. We’re done talking.”
He leans in for the kiss. As they kiss, he takes his other hand and moves it in behind her head/neck. She lets her hands rest on his chest. They break for a moment. She opens her eyes and looks at him.
Miranda: [whispers] “That was nice”
Spike: “Wasn’t really aiming for ‘nice’. Let’s give it another go.”
They both move in this time. A bit more passion from the start, and then building. She’s wearing a scoop necked cotton peasant top with a tie at the front (instead of a button) holding the very top together and jeans. After a few minutes, he moves his hand down her neck to the tie and pulls it….this opens the shirt enough so that her bra shows. He moves his hands a down over the top of her bra and across to the side, caressing her chest. She is now unbuttoning the remaining buttons of his shirt as she slips her hands underneath to feel his bare skin. Things are really heating up—kissing becoming more desperate. She’s breathing heavily. He pulls away for a second and lifts her up slightly against the wall, encouraging her to wrap her legs around him as he presses himself hard against her. She reacts to this by saying:
Miranda: “Well, that answers another question I had about vampires.”
Spike smiles and goes in for another kiss. He starts to pull her shirt up over her head when suddenly the door to his crypt is thrown open. They are not immediately in view of the door. He leans his head against the wall next to Miranda’s head in frustration. They hear from around the corner.
Buffy: “Spike?”
Spike: [under his breath] “Bloody hell. I really need to find a way to Buffy-proof that door”
Spike sets Miranda down.
Miranda: [flustered/out-of-breath] “You don’t have a lock?”
Spike: “Locks’ not exactly slayer-proof. Need something with a bit more staying power than that.”
Spike walks quickly to the door, trying to intercept Buffy to give Miranda a minute. His shirt is still unbuttoned.
Spike: [as he reaches Buffy at the door and prevents her from coming too far in] “Yeah, kinda busy now, Slayer. What d’you want?”
Buffy: “We need your help. All hell’s breaking loose tonight—pun intended. Giles thinks we need all the hands we can find to get it under control. [She is curiously peeking in, mainly because he seems to be hiding something.] What, do you have a date in there or something?”
She says this jokingly, not really thinking it’s likely—he’s in love with HER, right? The others never told her about the other night when Miranda asked Spike out. They didn’t think to mention it to her tonight either because SURELY the date would be over by now—it’s 1am!
Spike: [a bit torn. Thinking for a second] “….hm not really interested in a fight tonight. I’m sure you lot can handle it.”
Buffy seems a bit taken aback by this. When was the last time he didn’t want to come along? Just as she’s about to respond, Miranda walks casually out from around the corner. She’s pulled her shirt down, but has forgotten to re-tie the top, so her bra is showing a bit.
Miranda: “Sounds serious.”
Buffy: [honest surprise; not making the connection at first] “Miranda! We were looking for you. What are you doing...[she then notices Spikes open shirt; Miranda’s open shirt. Yes, our little slayer figures it out.]...here...oh.”
Just then, the others show up at the door to find out what’s taking so long. Anya and Xander come in first.
Xander: “Not to rush the negotiations here, but according to Giles, we really need to get going. [noticing Miranda] Oh, hey Miranda. Didn’t know you were coming along.”
He’s oblivious as usual. Anya is trying to catch Miranda’s eye to signal her that her blouse is untied. Amusing exaggerated eye movements follow. Miranda finally gets it and starts tying it up. Spike, now resigned, is buttoning up his shirt. Just then Giles comes to the door and peeks his head in.
Giles: “Don’t forget to grab some more weapons, if he’s got some in there. [noticing Miranda] Miranda. [He looks perplexed for a moment, then quickly assesses the situation. He is a bit deflated, but recovers to deal with the current crisis] Glad we found you. [to Buffy et al] Let’s not take much time with this. We really need to get up there.” [He goes to wait outside for them]
Everyone stands there for a minute in an awkward pause. M&S exchange a glance—the date’s over.
Spike: [to Buffy] “What sort of weapons do you need? I’ll grab a few things” [He starts rummaging for weapons and puts his coat on.]
Miranda finds her coat and puts it on.
Miranda: [to Buffy] “I’d like to tag along if that’s all right. I’ve got a bit of...energy to work off and it sounds like you could use an extra pair of hands.”
Buffy: “I don’t know. You’ve never been out on patrol with us and if things are as bad as we think, it could get pretty ugly out there.”
Miranda: [shrugging] “I’m immortal—what’s the worst that could happen?”
Can’t argue with that. They head outside to join the others. They start walking, discussing the situation along the way.
Spike: “So what's the deal?”
Author’s note: no time to come up with a good set-up for this, so the following may sound kind of hokey with few details :)
Giles: “We’ve got vampires and X [insert plausible name]-demons who appear to be working for or with a third kind of demon—a leader—who is coordinating their efforts. They are performing a ritual of some sort tonight [insert really scary consequences if they succeed] up at an abandoned factory north of town. They’ve been out in bands tonight gathering human victims who are to be a part of the ritual.”
Miranda: “What do you know about this ‘leader’ fellow?”
Giles: “Next to nothing, I’m afraid. We’ve come across him before, stirring up trouble now and again, but we’ve never found out much about him. In fact, we stopped looking into it because Buffy thought she had killed him in their last fight and then he somehow re-appeared.”
They continue walking on. Buffy and Giles in front, Spike picking up the rear. They’re a bit spread out for some reason that IS NOT plot driven. Ahem.
Miranda: [to Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya who are nearest her] “Someone want to give me a primer on how to fight these things?”
Willow: “Oh right. I keep forgetting that you haven’t done this before. Ok for the vampires, it’s easy. You’ve mainly got the stake-to-the-heart approach, which, I guess, you’ve experienced first hand. Here take one [She hands Miranda a stake. Miranda looks at it rather skeptically]. You can also use holy water, but I don’t think that’s really the way to go in this situation. Oh, and there’s fire if you prefer that. Again, not quite as fast as the ‘stake’ approach [pleased with herself] Look at me, I’m all ‘old handy’. As for the other demons, we should probably leave those to Buffy—for the one-on-one stuff. Do you feel all primed now?”
Miranda: “I guess. Never done much fighting with wood before, [still looking skeptically at the stake] but I’ll give it a go.”
Just then they get jumped by a gang of vamps. Everyone is fighting. Xander, Willow and Anya are (sort of amusingly) taking on a couple of vamps (kind of like when they went on patrol with Riley). Miranda is sort of on the outside of the scuffle, watching; awkwardly trying to make her way in with the stake. Xander dusts one, but then quickly gets knocked down by the other. Miranda is still trying to work her way in, looking increasingly frustrated by her inability to ‘get in the groove’ of it so to speak. Spike is looking on from behind, but is tied up taking care of a couple of demons. The second vamp has Xander on the ground and the others are scattered too far away to do anything. Miranda gets an “oh, fuck it” look on her face—she tosses the stake away, kicks the vamp hard in the side (moving him away from Xander) and in one smooth motion, reaches behind her head into her coat, pulls out her sword and lops the head off the vamp (dust). Just then, everything calms down and they come together again.
Willow: [impressed] “Or you can just do...THAT”
Xander: “That works. Thanks.”
Miranda: [to Willow] “You failed to mention that chopping off their heads was an option. I’m quite relieved to find that out. Beheading is kind of a speciality of mine.”
Willow: [ignoring the weirdness of the actual meaning of that last sentence] “Don’t you mean specialty?”
Miranda: “No, I’m quite sure speciality is the correct term.”
Willow: “Giles, is beheading a speciaLITY or a speciaLTY?”
Giles: “What? What are you talking about?”
Spike: [to Miranda] “Did you have that sword in your coat the whole time?”
Miranda: “Didn’t you think it was a bit on the heavy side for a leather coat? Yes, of course it’s been there.”
They resume walking. Miranda catches up with Buffy. Asks her a few more questions about what they are up against and details of the ‘leader’. After a bit, she appears to think of something.
Miranda: “The first time you fought him. How did it end?”
Buffy: “I basically shoved a large iron bar through his chest and pushed him off a cliff. You’d THINK that would do it.”
Miranda: “And what do they call him?”
Buffy: “Uh, something like V’tishi or V’torshi. Giles could probably pronounce it better.”
Miranda stops dead.
Miranda: [to herself] “Of course, why didn’t I see it before? So that’s where you’ve been hiding.”
Buffy: “What is it?”
The others catch up.
Miranda: [suddenly serious and commanding] “Your ‘leader’ is an Immortal. Like me. Name of Victor Sheaugh. Hasn’t been seen for years.”
Xander: “But I thought Immortals were...GOOD...you know, as in NOT evil?”
Miranda: “Oh no. Not necessarily. We range the spectrum of human sanity. There are some real sick bastards out there and he’s one of ‘em. This will have to be my fight.”
Buffy: “But if he’s immortal, how can you kill him?”
Miranda: “Oh, didn’t I mention that? Yeah, we kill each other—can kill each other. The big loop-hole in the immortality thing. What can you tell me about the surroundings of this factory?”
Giles: “It’s off on it’s own. There’s a river on one side, and I think mostly farm land surrounding it.”
Miranda: “What about graveyards, churches, anything that could be considered holy ground?”
Xander: “This is Sunnydale; there's a graveyard about every mile. I think there is a small one the west side.”
Willow: “And I think there is an Indian burial ground on the other side. Does that count?”
Miranda: “It does. Immortals can’t fight on consecrated ground so we must prevent him from getting to any of those places before I can get to him.”
Giles: “Can’tfight? By what mechanism?”
Miranda: [with every passing moment, she is getting more focused] “There are simply rules we have to follow. No time to explain now. And he’ll be aware of my presence before we can get into the building. We can sense others of our kind—I’d say from around 20 meters, so there is no real possibility of surprise for me at least. Before I can officially challenge him, he will probably try to hide behind his minions or escape to the holy ground.”
Buffy: “Giles, why don’t you take Willow and Tara around the west side of the factory in case he tries to come out that way. Xander and Anya, you go around to the other side and block his path there. Spike, you and I will go in the front door and take on the foot soldiers. Anything else we should know?”
Miranda: “Once we start fighting, no one can interfere no matter what happens. Another rule.”
Buffy: “Everyone set? Let’s go”
Miranda: “Hang on a minute [looking down at he feet] These are SO not the right shoes for this.”
Buffy: “Shoes again? You seem awfully fixated on shoes for someone about to enter mortal combat.”
Miranda: “Immortal combat, to be precise. And shoes are very important. Make ALL the difference—it’s all about attitude. [spying Willow’s platform boots] “Mind if we switch? It’ll just take a second.”
Everyone looks at each other, exchanging ‘is she crazy’ looks? They indulge her because she’s about to take on the baddie, but...? After the shoe swap, they head off. Jumping ahead, Buffy and Spike make an entrance and start to kick some serious demon ass. Miranda is sneaking around the edge trying to locate Victor. She senses him (meaning he senses her too) “here we go” and heads in that direction. She finds him and manages to corner him somewhat (his exits are blocked).
Victor: [smarmy & condescending] “Why if it isn’t Miranda, the little angel. What a surprise. Tell me, how’s Cal these days?”
Miranda: “You’re a bit-out-of-the-loop, Victor. Lost track of time? Cal’s been dead almost 20 years.”
Victor: “Aw, did my friends in LA finally bring you to your senses by getting rid of that silly mortal husband of yours?”
Miranda: “Sorry to disappoint you—natural causes.”
[She pulls her sword out and tosses her coat aside.]
Victor: “You don’t actually mean to fight me, do you? So very disappointing. I’m sure we could come to some kind of arrangement. No need to risk your life.”
Miranda: “I wouldn’t be too worried about MY life. Draw your sword.”
He looks annoyed and perhaps a bit frightened. He scans the room looking for a way out. Seeing that he’s trapped, he draws his sword. They start fighting—a bit slow at first. Soon they are going all out. She’s faster and more skilled in her movements. He’s obviously a bit stronger, but has trouble connecting with her on his terms. Soon everyone stops fighting to watch the two Immortals do battle. It’s quite a sight. Occasionally one of the demons makes a motion to take out Miranda, but either Spike or Buffy takes them out first. Quickly, Miranda gets the upper hand and knocks the sword from Victor’s hand.
Miranda: “Oh, that was too easy! I’m just getting warmed up. Here we go, strike one.”
She walks over to the dropped sword and kicks it back to him.
Buffy: [shocked] “What’s she doing?”
Spike: “Having a bit o’ fun, looks like” [He smiles.]
Victor picks of the sword and they resume fighting. More acrobatics and good swordplay. Miranda does look like she’s enjoying it. She never loses the upper hand. Again, she’s able to make him drop his sword.
Miranda: “Come on! I’ve barely gotten a work-out here. Once more, shall we?”
She kicks back his sword again. They resume fighting. This time, when he gets in close, he pulls a knife out with his left hand and jams it in her side. She kicks him off, but is obviously wounded.
Miranda: “That wasn’t very nice. Think it may be time to finish it.”
They resume fighting but now it isn’t so one-sided. Miranda is affected by her wound, which is bleeding rather profusely. She stops playing around and is now giving it all she has. The fighting seems to go on and on. Buffy and Spike exchange a worried look. Now the others have returned and are watching as well. Finally, in one brilliant move, Miranda manages to disable his sword and kick him hard in the side with her he leg. He falls to his hands and knees and she quickly steps on his sword and with a breathy “strike three”, she swings her sword and takes his head off. She staggers back, out of breath and in pain and practically falls to the ground. They all rush up to her, but a few demons move in to fight. She sits on the floor, exhausted, and lets the scoobies take them out. Spike is the first to get to her.
Spike: “That was bloody brilliant! Are you all right?”
Miranda moves her hand down to her side where the blood is. Is almost too breathless/out–of-it to speak.
Miranda: [shaking her head] “So out of shape! Windows. They should move away from the windows.”
Spike: “What?”
Just then, something that looks like electricity begins to fill the room. It surrounds Victor’s body and lifts it up in the air. Miranda staggers to her feet. A moment later, what looks like a lightening bolt comes together and strikes Miranda—all the windows in the building shatter. When it’s over, Miranda drops back down to the floor.
Buffy: “What was that?”
Miranda: “Long story. Always happens when an Immortal dies.”
They help her to her feet. She’s still out of breath, but looks more perky.
Spike: “How’s your side? [Indicating the place where all the blood is on her clothes.]
Miranda lifts up the side of her shirt and reveals that the wound is completely healed.
Buffy: “And here’s me thinking I heal fast.”
They all start making their way towards the exit.
Spike: [whispering to Miranda] “So, uh, there’s a couple more hours before daylight. Want to...finish our date? ” [He’s been VERY turned on by this turn of events.]
Miranda just smiles and shakes her head.
Miranda: [to the others] “Could someone give me a lift home? I need to rest a bit.”
End Scene
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Violently Happy