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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
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Spike felt as if
he�d just truly had sex for the first time. While making love to Buffy had
always been amazing, to do it now, with all of his senses heightened�

It was bloody
incredible.

The way she�d
smelled, the way he�d heard her every gasp, every sigh. The way her skin had
felt electric against his�

And god,
how he�d been able to move� He�d been thrusting so hard, so fast� And then
when she�d bitten him�

It had been the
single most incredible experience of his life.

He�d never felt
more complete that he had when his fangs were in her neck at the same time hers
were in his. His world had both come apart and crashed back together in an
instant, and he knew he�d never be the same as he had been before.

Spike couldn�t
manage to feel anything but contentment now. Even knowing Drusilla was turned
and not dead, even knowing he�d failed to take down Angelus, he felt right.
Those were concerns for later. Now was the time to bask in the glow of this new
thing he�d found and the woman he chose to share it with.

She had fallen
asleep almost immediately, her body too worn down for much exertion. Yet she
slept with a small smile on her face, her body curled into his, and Spike knew
she�d felt what he had.

The outside world
couldn�t touch this moment. It was theirs.

He ran his hand
along the skin of her back, feeling tingles rush up his spine as he marveled at
how intense something as simple as that felt now. He was waking up for the
first time, the world sharp, crisp, clear.

She murmured in
her sleep and pressed herself closer to him. Spike�s arms grew tighter around
her, and she sighed and nuzzled into him, as if instinctively seeking more
of him. His one regret was that it had been Drusilla and not Buffy herself to
bring him into this world, though he understood her reluctance, and was
grateful to Dru for doing it, even if he knew it had been difficult for Buffy.
This is how it had to be and somehow, he thought Dru knew that, too.

Spike pressed his
lips right below her hairline and breathed in deeply. The softness of her skin,
the richness of her scent� He could happily drown in her forever�

As soon as he
finally gave Angelus what he deserved, Spike vowed to take her far away from
here, take her somewhere beautiful. Lose himself in
her for centuries.

She whispered his
name in her sleep and Spike smiled against her. He knew she had her doubts and
fears and he�d be lying if he said he didn�t have some of his own. But for the
first time in such a very long time he felt as if he belonged somewhere, as if
he belonged with someone.

The sun was
rising outside the apartment, and Spike could feel its pull. He tucked Buffy�s
head at the crook of his neck, closed his eyes, and fell asleep with a smile on
his face.

*** *** ***

Spike woke as the
sun drifted over the horizon, the need to feed pulling him from a deep slumber.
He opened his eyes and found Buffy watching him, her gaze running over his
features as if she were searching for something.

�What is it,
pet?� Spike asked softly, his hand gentle against her cheek, the look on her
face making him worried he could spook her.

�Do you still
love me today, Spike?�

�Oh, sweetheart,�
Spike replied, pulling her into his arms. �I love you. I�ll love you forever. I
can promise you that.�

Buffy�s arms
tightened around him. �Can you?�

�Yes.�

�I�m still scared
I�ll lose you. Everything�s different for you now, Spike. What if you decide
you don�t love me? Or�or what if you decide you love her still?�

Spike brought her
head away from his chest and clutched her face in his hands, looking intently
at her. �I love you.�

She shook against
him, and Spike didn�t know if he�d ever find a way to make words enough for her
� and after the years she�d spent subject to her sire�s fickle whims, he
couldn�t blame the poor girl.

So he rolled her
over instead, pushed his way into her body, making her cry out. She tried to
close her eyes, but Spike pulled out and thrust back in hard, and they snapped
back open. �No. Don�t close your eyes. Look at me.�

His hips pumped a
smooth, steady rhythm, his eyes blue and open as he watched her beneath him.
�Tell me what you see, Buffy. Tell me.�

She clung to his
biceps, holding his gaze as he�d asked, until finally she gasped and gave him
his answer.

�Forever��

*** *** ***

He remembered
fearing this once, but as he watched Buffy dancing around him, her body calling
to him, he couldn�t remember why. The past ten years � no, his whole life
� were like a dream now. Something pushing on the edge of his
mind, but not reality.

She called to him
like a siren, and he ran after her, grinning as her laughter echoed through the
alleyway as she let him chase her. Warm blood flowed through his veins, giving
life where there should be none.

Her feet fell
through puddles from an earlier rain, light from a nearby streetlamp
illuminating the droplets, surrounding her in something ethereal. Spike knew if
she could see inside him now, if she could cut him open and see how his heart
would never stop beating for her, she�d never doubt his promise of eternity
again.

Buffy had almost
escaped the alley when Spike grabbed her, pulling her back in with him, her
back pressed tightly against his front. �Trying to escape, little girl?� he
whispered against her ear, bringing shivers to Buffy�s flesh.

�I heard there
was a big, bad vampire in this alley,� Buffy replied with mock-fear. �I thought
I should escape.�

Spike�s chuckle
was low, and the vibrations went through her like trembles. �Is that so?� He
spun her around quickly, pinning her against the wall. �I think it�s too late.
The vampire�s already got you.�

His eyes were
gold, his fangs glinted in the low light, and Buffy didn�t think he�d ever
looked more desirable. She wanted to stop being afraid, to believe she�d really
gotten Spike forever � and a Spike she could truly share herself with
completely with at that. She�d worried about how he�d react when it came time
to feed, but he�d moved like a predator, never hesitating in what he had to do.

It amazed her
how much it had turned her on�

She couldn�t lose
this. In the years since Angelus had turned her, she�d never felt anything so perfect as being in Spike�s arms now. His mouth had gone
to her neck, licking and sucking the mark he�d put there the night before, and
she couldn�t help but gasp for air she didn�t need. Even with all his
assurances that this was forever, she couldn�t let go of the nagging feeling
that she was destined to lose him � that she could never be lucky enough to
know happiness like this without end.

�I want to leave Los Angeles.�

Spike pressed a
kiss against her neck. �Of course, luv. As soon as
Angelus is dust, we�ll go wherever you want.�

Buffy stiffened
in Spike�s arms a moment before she pushed him away. He stumbled a bit before
regaining his balance, then tilted his head as he
regarded her with confusion. �Buffy, what�s wrong?�

�You still want
to kill Angelus?�

�Why wouldn�t I?�

�Because the last
time you tried you died!� Buffy yelled at him. �Dammit,
Spike, are you insane? We can�t take him on. Next time you might be dust!�

�But we came
close!� Spike argued. �And I�m stronger now.�

Buffy lifted her
head, stubbornness set into her features. �No. I�m not letting you do this.�

�There�s not
really any way for you to stop me, Buffy,� Spike countered. �I have to do
this.�

�For
her.� The venom in her
words left no doubt as to who she meant.

�No, not just for
her,� Spike replied. �For you. For what he did to you.�

�If you want to
do something for me, then don�t go after him at all! Please, Spike. Let�s just
go somewhere far, far away. Someplace where it can be just
the two of us. Where we can be in love and Angelus and Drusilla can�t
touch us. Please��

Spike shook his
head. �There is no place like that. Don�t you get it, Buffy? As long as he�s
out there, he�s going to haunt us. He�ll always be out there somewhere, and
we�ll never know if he�ll find us again. I can�t live like that.�

�It wouldn�t be
that way! Spike, Angelus doesn�t want me. He made that perfectly clear. He�d
not going to come after us, ever.�

�Can you really
be sure of that? Can you?� Spike lunged forward, his outstretched arms pinning
Buffy against the brick wall of the alley. �Tell me you can really live
completely without fear. Tell me he�s not going to haunt your dreams, too.�

Buffy turned her
head to the side, tears glistening in her eyes. �Spike, please. I just want to
forget him.�

�So do I. But we can�t as long as he�s still out there. We have to
do this, Buffy.�

She turned back
towards him suddenly and pushed him away again. �I don�t want to face him
again!� she screamed.

�We�ll get him
this time, Buffy. You don�t have to be afraid.�

�But I am. God,
Spike, don�t you get it?�

�Look, Buffy, I
know what he did to you, but��

�This isn�t about
me. I don�t care about me.�

�Buffy��

�You were dead,
Spike!�

She screamed the
words at him with such emotion that Spike took a step back. �But I wasn�t, kitten. I was��

�I didn�t know
that,� Buffy said, shaking her head. �I saw you, lifeless on the ground, and I
didn�t�� She shook, fighting her sobs. �I didn�t know. And until you woke, I
still wasn�t sure. I thought I�d lost you, Spike, and I can�t do that. I need
you.�

Spike grabbed her
and pulled her into his arms, holding her as she cried. �You won�t lose me,
Buffy. I promise you. You won�t lose me.�

�You can�t make
that promise.�

Spike put his
hand beneath her chin and tipped her face up. �Yes, I can. We�re forever, you
and me. I can feel it, Buffy. Knew it the first time I touched you.�

�I don�t want him
to take you from me. He�s taken everything from me, Spike � he can�t have you,
too.�

�He won�t.
There�s nothing that could tear me from your side. Nothing.
I�d take on the legions of Hell to stay in your arms.�

�I�d waste away
to dust without you.�

�I know, pet,�
Spike said, wrapping her tightly in his embrace again. �I know.�

�You�re not going
after him without me.�

Spike chuckled
softly and kissed the crown of her head. �I know, sweetheart. Wouldn�t dream of it.�

�And I can�t
promise you I won�t stake her if I see her.�

Spike tensed, but
didn�t let go of her. �I know.�

*** *** ***

The fell together
to the sheets, bare limbs entwined, lips and tongues
seeking a taste. The outside world fell away as the sun rose behind closed
curtains, two lovers lost in only each other.

Tomorrow they
would face the darkness again.

Tomorrow they
would put their demons to rest.

Until then, they
would take solace in each other and seal a promise of forever.

*** *** ***

This story is
almost at the end. There�s actually only two more
chapters after this one, so it is wrapping up.

Please review.
- 18
- 19
- 20
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Love and Death Embrace