Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Heart's Desire	By : PencilNeck Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 9582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Chapter 19:� Wonderful Life

Buffy trots into her new room,
carrying three heavy boxes.� She puts
them gently on the floor.� She turns
back, in time to see Willow
struggling with one of Buffy�s suitcases.�

�Let me get that.�� Buffy grabs the case from Willow
and swings it in her hand.� �I said I�d
do the heavy lifting.�

�I didn�t think clothes could be
that heavy.� Did you have your entire
wardrobe bronzed or something?�� Willow
puffs, and sits down on a sturdy looking box.�

�Only last season�s stuff.�� Buffy thinks she�s funny.� She points her finger between the two twin
beds.� �Which one do you want?�

�Doesn�t matter
to me.�� Willow
looks around the room carefully.� Really
seeing it for the first time.� �It�s
smaller than our dorm room.�

�Yeah.� But it has its own bathroom.� So, not too bad!�� Buffy hefts her suitcase onto the bed
farthest from the door.� �And it�ll be
cool being roomies again...�

�You�re taking this too well.�� Willow
inspects her friend�s face.� �It�s like
Sunnydale times a hundred.� And you�re
not so good with the sharing.� How come
you�re so chipper?�

�I dunno.� Everyone�s in the same boat.� Or castle, if you want to get
technical.�� Buffy looks into the mirror.� Aside from a little cut on her lip,
everything�s healed.� She stopped limping
this morning.� �And maybe I decided that
spending my last days brooding and stomping around is stupid.� Maybe I wanna just enjoy the good things.�

�And by good things you mean moving
in with�� Willow�s
face changes in a blink.� �Whoa
there!� What do you mean, last
days?��

�C�mon Will!� You�re the one that told me!�� Buffy�s grin looks a little plastered
on.� �We�re probably gonna lose.� Whatever happens.� Right?�
And if that�s true, then why am I being so cranky?�

Willow
sighs.� �I wish sometimes that we lived
in a universe where what you said doesn�t make any sense.�

�But we don�t.�� Buffy opens a box.� She takes out some books and starts putting
them on the little shelf.� �We live in
this universe.� The one where every
stupid prophecy EVER tells me that I can�t win, that I won�t win.�

�But you have!� WE have!�
We always find a way!�� Willow
watches Buffy frenetically unpacking.�
�So why is this one extra-spooky?�

�I�ve got two reasons.� One, it�s really old.�� Buffy is shoving novels around haphazardly,
trying to make them all fit.� �Like dawn
of time old.� So it�s gotta be right-er than the newer ones.�
And it�s at the end of the Big Book �O� Prophecy, which to me means a
�The End� kinda thing.�

�I�m not really following your
logic there, but okay.�� Willow
knits her brow.� Buffy�s given up on the
books, and has moved on to throwing her clothes into the teensy closet.�

�Two, and
this might sound a little nutty�� Buffy
grunts as she tries to close the closet door.�
�I can feel it.�

�Huh?�

�I can feel it.� Something�s going to happen.� It�s vague, like when you know you forgot
something but you can�t figure out what��
Buffy quits her struggling.� She
sits on the end of the bed she�s claimed.�
Looking at Willow, all her
fear showing.� She whispers.� �I think I�m going to die again.��

�Oh Buffy, no!� You can�t think like that.�

�You think it�s dumb.�� Buffy looks down at the mess on the
floor.�

�No.� Not dumb.��
Willow rushes to sit with
her friend.� �Scary for you, if that�s what
you�re feeling.� But it doesn�t make it
true!�

Buffy shakes her head.� That�s not the point.�

�Will, I�m not afraid of
dying.�� She takes Willow�s
hand, seeing her friend�s face turn sad.�
�Oh, I�m not greedy for it or whatever, but I�m not afraid of it
either.��

�Then what?�

�If it happens�� Buffy pleads with her eyes.� �Promise me.�
Promise you won�t bring me back.�

***********************************************

�God this is confusing.�� Emma sits sideways in the comfy chair in
Dawn�s office.� Legs kicking the
armrest.� She waves down at the book
she�s reading.� �I mean, first he�s a
lower being.� Then he�s a fallen angel,
and then he�s some weird giant locust thing.�

�I know.�� Dawn mutters, her
mouth full of sandwich.� �And who has that
many names?�� She takes another huge
bite.� Peanut butter and salami.� �What are you reading?� The Greek or the Aramaic?�

�Aramaic.�� Emma gives her manuscript a dirty look.� Paraphrases in a caustic TV announcer
voice.� �Here comes evil Destroyer Guy!� Half man, half giant bug, maybe!� All tremble before his armies!� The sea will rise!� A rain of fire be
upon you!� Oh, and did we mention he�s
evil?�

�I�m not getting anything
either.�� Dawn shoves her book away,
concentrates on licking the peanut butter off her fingers.� �You should eat.�

Emma looks over at her lunch.� �I can�t.�
I feel like�� I need to help.� And if I�m eating, I�m not helping.�

Dawn raises a brow.� �And by wasting away to two dimensional,
you�ll be totally useful.�� Dawn points
demandingly at Emma�s sandwich.� �Eat!�

With a sigh, Emma picks up her
sandwich and takes a little bite.� Peanut
butter and salami.� She spits it back on
the plate and makes a face.� �Pleah!� What the heck
is that?�

�I made that sandwich with my own
two hands, you know.�� Dawn looks
hurt.� �It�s really good, if you ignore
the texture issues.�� She watches
enthusiastically as Emma forces herself to take another tiny bite.� �See?�

Emma chews it quickly.� Swallows hard.� Sees Dawn�s face break out into an eager
smile.� And Emma can�t help but smile
back.�

But she makes a mental note to take
over lunch duties from now on.

***********************************************

Faith elbows her way through the
hall.� She tried weaving.� She tried darting.� She even tried shimmying against the stone
walls.� But nothing worked.� So now she�s barreling through the crowds of
girls, pushing and shoving.� She�s had
enough.

�HEY!�� A shrill whistle pierces through the hum of
voices.� �Chosen One, coming though!�

And like Moses, the sea parts for
her.� Faith�s actually a little surprised
it worked.� But only a little.

�That�s more like it!�� Faith grins her
dimply grin, and struts down the now empty floor.� �Glad to see you newbs
respectin� the chain.�

�I thought Buffy was a blonde�� She hears a whisper.�

�Learn your history, Fish!�� Faith stares the girl down.� Gotta
set the boundaries early.� �And
really not the best impression to make on your new boss.�� She gives the terrified girl her best
disappointed look.� �What�s your name,
kid?�

�Uh�� Grace?��

�Don�t sound too sure of
that.�� Faith gives Grace the once
over.� �The name�s Faith.�� She looks back up at the girl�s face.� Smiles and starts to walk away.� �Ask around.�

She manages to refrain from
bursting out laughing until she reaches the training room.� God
that was fun.

�Little harsh, dontcha
think?�� Kennedy gestures back into the
hallway.�

�Nah.� She�ll get over it.�� Faith chokes down the laughter, and stretches
out.� �You ready for some new stuff?�

�Well�� Kennedy moves in closer.� �I was hoping you could refresh my memory on
some old stuff, actually.�� She runs her
fingers down Faith�s arm.� �You know�
some classic positions?�

Faith takes a step back.� �Kenn, we�ve been
through this.�

�Yeah.� And I�m still not getting it.�� Kennedy takes the space Faith�s given
up.� �What�s the problem?� We don�t owe them anything!�

�It�s not about them.� Not really.��
Faith backs off again.� �It just
doesn�t feel right anymore.�

�I remember it feeling pretty phenomenal!�� Kennedy uses her best sexy look.� �Did for me anyway.�

�Kenn,
I�m serious.� It�s
not gonna happen.�� Faith turns away,
slicking her sweaty palms against her jogging pants.� �So if you don�t wanna train, you should
probably go.�

�So you�re saving yourself
now?� You think she�s gonna care?�� Kennedy doesn�t handle rejection well.� �You think she�s even gonna notice?�

Faith doesn�t turn around.� She�s breathing in through her nose and out
through her mouth.� Kennedy doesn�t see
the signs.

�She�s so wrapped up in her own
stuff; she can�t see anything for what it is!��
Kennedy is yelling now.� �She�s
not coming to the rescue!� She doesn�t
CARE!�

�Kenn�� It�s low and venomous.� �You shouldn�t talk about things you don�t
understand.�

�She doesn�t care!� It nearly killed me!� She��
Kennedy�s voice cracks.� Breaks
into a whisper.� �She didn�t come to
me.� She didn�t even try��

Faith turns to her friend, the
anger washed away in a wave of sympathy.�
�Hey�� She pulls Kennedy into a
tight hug.� Stroking her hair.� Letting her cry.�

�I�m sorry�� Kennedy whispers into Faith�s shoulder.� �I just felt��
I needed something�� She sobs.� �It hurts too much��

Faith rests her chin on the top of
Kennedy�s head.�

�Right there with ya, Junior.�

***********************************************

�Ooh!� Ooh!��
Excited doesn�t cover the outburst from the corner of Dawn�s
office.�

Emma looks up with weary eyes.� �Hmmm?��
Somehow over the course of the day they�ve changed positions.� Emma�s sitting at the desk, and Dawn�s
sprawled out in the chair.� Her head is
where feet should be and her feet are kicking at the wall above.

�Whaddya
make of this?�� Dawn manages to tumble
herself upright with lightening speed.�
She rushes over to a profoundly amused Emma.� Points vigorously at the page.� �Is it something?� Please tell me it�s something��

Emma turns the book to her.� Her look changes, gets more serious.� �It�s definitely something.�

�What do you think it means?�� Dawn sees the glint in Emma�s eye.�

�Don�t think I�m crazy.�� Emma rushes her thoughts out of her
head.� �But something about this Abaddon guy�s been bugging me from the start.� Nothing we�ve got on him makes any
sense.� I mean, look at this!�� Emma waves at a pile of notes.� �There�s almost four thousand years worth of
stuff written about him!� And each time,
a different name?� A different
M.O.?��

Emma realizes she�s shouting.� Her ears burn red.� �Sorry.�
I�m just feeling stupid.� I should
have seen it before��

�Seen what, exactly?�

�That it�s different this
time.�� Emma gulps down the little bit of
fear sitting at the back of her throat.�
�It�s not a Hellmouth.� There�s no
parallel dimension, or portal to close� it�s right here.�

�What�s here?�� Dawn tries to follow along.

�He�s here.� On Earth.��
Emma finishes.�

�But�� Dawn tries to refute it.� �All the demons were exiled.� Sent away!�
All of them!� Everything tells us
that.�

�I know.� Thus the �don�t think I�m crazy� qualifier.
But there�s no other explanation.�� Emma
leans back in the chair.� �All this!� It proves he�s been here all this time.� How else��

Emma stares down at the piles of
notes, the discarded books.� Dawn sits on
the edge of the desk, spilling a few pages onto the floor.

�I have a question.�� Dawn gets Emma�s attention.� �If he�s here.� If you�re right...�

�Then why?�

***********************************************

Buffy closes the door with a
gasp.� So many girls.� Loud, shrieking, bathroom hogging teenaged
girls.� In the halls, in the meeting
rooms, everywhere.� She should have
stayed in her room.�

But then, Willow.� She hadn�t meant to start the depresso fun time.�
But then it came out and she couldn�t take it back.

�You here for
round two?��

�Whazzat?��
Buffy spins around, fearing the sight of another teenager, lost and
alone.� But no.� It�s just Kennedy.� Sitting by the window, looking lost and
alone.�

�I asked if you were here to pummel
me again.�� Kennedy�s tone tears at
something in Buffy.

�I was gonna train.�� Buffy keeps her voice soft.� �But I can go��

�No�� Kennedy turns to face Buffy.� No tears, but her eyes look red and raw.�� It�s okay.�

�I shouldn�t have hit you.� I�m sorry about that.�� Buffy walks further into the room.� Arms crossed.�
But her face is gentle.

�I always figured we�d thrash it
out eventually.�� Kennedy lets out a
little snort.� �Never thought it�d be
over a girl, though.��

�You�re telling me.�� Buffy�s face contorts into a half frown, half
pout.�

�We�re not together, you
know.�� Kennedy doesn�t say sorry.� �We never were, really.�

�Oh?�� Buffy is betrayed by her lungs.� Her attempt at casual disinterest thwarted by
a deep sigh of relief.

�It hurts, you know?�� Kennedy does explain, however.� �It hurts like hell, knowing that she
doesn�t� feel the same.� That I�m not
HER, so it can�t be real.��

Buffy moves closer.� She doesn�t know what to say.� She sits beside Kennedy on the sill, almost
touching but not.

�But I could pretend she did.� We could be together and I could almost feel
like� Tara was gone.��
Kennedy looks out the window.�
�And then�� And I knew for
sure...�

�And you wanted to hit
things.�� Buffy finishes for her.� �I totally get that.�

�Not right away.�� Kennedy�s breath on the pane makes little
circles of frost.� �First I wanted to
feel better.� That was what you saw.� Me trying to feel better.�

�The kissing?��

�Yeah.� But you missed the part where Faith turned me
down.�� Kennedy shrugs her shoulders.

�She did that?�� Buffy smiles a little.

�That�s when I ran into you.� THEN I wanted to hit things.�� Kennedy smiles now.�

Buffy rolls her eyes, and lets out
a snort.� But the smile�s still
there.��

�So, we good?�� Kennedy asks the window.�

�Good as ever, I guess.�� Buffy shrugs.�
Tries to think of something nicer.�
�I think� she does.� Do you want
me to��

�No.�� Kennedy turns to Buffy with a stern
look.� �Don�t.� If you tell her to, it�s not real.� And I need it to be real.�

�I just want to help.�� Buffy�s surprised that she means it.�

�There�s
too many people in my relationship already.��
Kennedy smiles weakly.� �But
thanks.�

�Hey lovebirds!�� Dawn comes bursting through the doors.� �Big meeting in the dining hall!� Twenty minutes.� Be there!��
And she rushes out again.

�We so need a better system.�� Buffy stands up, wiping the dust off her
jeans.� �Um�� Kennedy?�

�Mmm?�� Kennedy
reluctantly pulls her body upright.��

�You too.� Thanks.��
Buffy tries not to look as uncomfortable as she is.� �For��

�Telling the truth?�� Kennedy stretches out, avoiding eye
contact.�

�Yeah.�� Buffy looks at the floor.�

�You�re welcome.�� Kennedy cocks her head in Buffy�s
direction.� �This is weird.�

�I know.�� Buffy smiles her cynical smile.� �We�re practically civil.�

�Feels wrong.�� Kennedy grins wide.� �I almost prefer the punching.�

�I wouldn�t go that far.�� Buffy nudges Kennedy with her shoulder.�

�Seriously?�� Kennedy nudges her back.� �This doesn�t freak you out?�

Buffy shrugs.� Starts walking toward the door.��

�It�s not the end of the world.�

***********************************************

Emma walks down the hall.� Knocking on every door.� You�d
think they�d have a better system.� She
ticks off the names on the list.� She
knocks on the last door.� The last names
on her list.� Buffy Summers
and�� Please
be Buffy.� Please be Buffy.� The door opens.

Willow
Rosenberg.� Oh
crap.

�Umh.� So�
there�s a meeting in the dining hall in thirty minutes.� It�s important.�� Emma blurts it all out as fast as she can,
and turns to leave.

�Hey, wait!�� Willow
takes a deep breath.� �I should�� We should talk.�

�Are you sure?� Because I can just go.�� Emma grabs at her sleeves.� �I don�t want to��

�I�m sure.�� Willow
steps aside.� Emma takes one glance at Willow�s
face, and meekly enters.� No one can deny
that look.

Emma stands awkwardly in the centre
of the room.� Willow
closes the door, and leans up against it.

�Buffy says you�re a sweet person,
and Dawn just goes on and on about how smart you are and how funny��

�Really?�� Emma pushes a strand of hair out of her
face.� Tucks her hand back under her
sleeve.

�Really, a lot!� So here I am hiding and being all skittish
and then zowie!� Here you are at my
door!� So now I�m thinking I should make
with the moxie and maybe talk to you and then you�ll be you and I won�t get
confused anymore.�

�Huh?�� Emma�s not used to Willow rambles.

�I�m nervous and I talk when I�m
nervous.� Or excited.� Or when something�s really interesting and I
want to explain it.� I get all in depth
and lectury, like when I took over computer lab.� Which was fun, but for some reason people
don�t really take a seventeen year old seriously.� Which is hardly fair when she spent a lot of
time and effort on those overheads!�� Willow
looks endearingly frustrated.� Then
embarrassed.� �Yup, pretty sure it�s the
nervous thing.�

�Right.� �Emma lets it all sail right over her
head.� �So, you�re nervous.�

�Boy howdy!��

�And I can help fix it?�� Emma doesn�t think so.

�I�m not sure.�� Willow
is starting to fret.� �I don�t know the
rules for this.� I just know that I have
to be� better.�

�Why?�� Emma bounces her hands against her hips.�

Willow
doesn�t have the answer for that one either.�
Emma watches the pain on Willow�s
face.� It�s hard for her not to.

�People deal with this stuff on
their own time.� It�s not like you can
just turn it off.�� Emma is delicate with
her words.� �And from what I�ve been
told, she was really something special.�

�She� was.�� Willow
makes sure to use the right tense.��

�I�m probably not the person you
want to talk to about this.�� Emma
gestures at the door.� �I could go get��

�There�s nobody to get.�� Willow
sighs.� She steps away from the door,
walking the few steps to the end of her bed.�
She sits down, the perfect figure of isolation and heartbreak.�

�I�m sure Buffy�� Emma starts.

�No.�� Willow
chokes down a little sob.� �I can�t��

�But she�s your friend.�

�I know.�� Willow�s
eyes flit up, the green in them obscured by a veil of threatening tears.� �My oldest, closest friend who�s going
through her own stuff.� And she�s heard
it all before, and hello?� End of the
world!� She�s got �Do Not Overload�
stamped on her shoulders right now.�

�And Xander?�� Emma smiles at the thought of him.� �He seems like a good guy.�

�He�s the best guy.�� Willow
smiles a little too.� �But again, the
shoulder issue.� Not enough room for my
head.�

�They seem pretty brawny to
me.��

�That sounds dangerously like crush
talk.�� Willow
has the strength for a wee smirk.

�No.� I mean��
But no.�� Emma blushes straight
down to her toes.� �I mean, he�s perfect.� For someone not me.�

�Sounds about
right.�� Willow
wipes the damp from her eyes.� �What�s
say we move on from the morbid, and get to the bloodcurdling horror?�

�Meeting?�� Emma offers her hand, pulling it out from her
sleeve.�

�Meeting.�� Willow
takes it without hesitation.� On a hunch,
she gives Emma a quick hug.� �You�re not
so scary.�

�Not the worst thing a person could
say.�� Emma steps back from the hug,
giving Willow her best languid
smile.� The light plays tricks�

Willow
doesn�t flinch.� She gets a soft dreamy
look.� Reaches out and touches Emma�s
cheek.�

Emma gets a lump in her
throat.� Nobody�s ever looked at her that
way before.� Or touched her like
that.� With such infinite tenderness.�

�You�re not her.�� Willow
says it out loud, her fingers still tracing the edge of Emma�s chin.

�I�m sorry.�

�Don�t be.�� Willow
lets her hand fall to her side.� Her eyes
focus, and the dream fades.� �Thank you.�

�But I didn�t ��

�I got to say goodbye.�
- 18
- 19
- 20
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Heart's Desire