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Mirror	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 8848 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 18

Disclaimer: Under advice of counsel, I must advise you that the characters appearing in this story that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" Television shows don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy , Inc. and Fox.( No kidding, is that a fact? Wow, and here we thought you owned them. We're shocked. Shocked I tell you!). Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.( Gosh, and I really thought you looked up my life, just to put it in this story. Now, I'm crushed!). Yeah. By the way? The author owns any original characters and the story. Yeah, as if anyone wants them. Hah!

1

Faith lays Buffy down on the lawn. Not that's she's heavy, probably weighs 110 pounds soaking wet. It's just that she doesn't trust herself not to drop her. It's too much of a surprise seeing her here, now.

And all those silly, soft feelings that seem to have started forever ago, the ones she's been working so hard to put away, come fluttering up in her heart. Faith sighs, and wonders if the PtB are really the good guys, or just a bunch of exceedingly perverse Gods who get a kick out of making her life hard. Really hard.

Faith kneels by Buffy, checking her pulse point, just looking at her. Almost devouring her with her eyes. Damn, why the hell did she show up here. Why the hell IS she here? Fuck that. Plenty of time for that later. Get her to a hospital, now.

Faith starts to lift her , and Buffy's eyes flutter open again. She smiles, and Faith almost loses it right there.

" Hey, you," Buffy says softly. " What're you doing here?"

" Was gonna ask you the same thing, Buff." Faith says, picking her up off the ground. " Aren't you supposed to be in like Devon, getting better?"

" Long story. Reader's Digest version. I ran away." Buffy says. " You know something?"

" Ran away?"

" Yeah. Look, feeling kinda crappy. Can we talk about this later?" Buffy asks. " You know something?"

" Yeah, ok, " Faith carries her in her arms. " What?"

" You're kinda beautiful, " Buffy says softly. " Got a girlfriend? I'll be your girlfriend."

" You goof."

" Oh, no. I'll be a great girlfriend. I'll love you, and I'll kiss you, and I'll loooove you, and then you know what?" She smiles.

Faith can't help chuckling. " What?" She asks, half laughing.

" Well, I'll betray you, and kidnap you, and tie you up, and try to make you into a monster like me. Now, wouldn't I be a great girlfriend?" Buffy frowns. " You think I don't remember what I did, Faith?" Buffy sighs, " Why're you here? Why aren't you in Sunnydale?" She glares at Faith. " Was it Will? Did she tell you? Did you come to find me?"

" What? Shit, no. I thought you were still in England. I was … transferred."

" Huh? Transferred?"

" Oh yeah. Hellmouth in Sunnydale? Pretty much sputtered out. So, ummm… the council moved me to here… well, Akron, actually. New Hellmouth. No waiting, you know?" Thought maybe, I'd get a new start. Sunnydale free. Looks like that's not happening.

" Is that why you left Willow? To come here?" Buffy almost laughs. If so, that sure didn't work.

" You got it wrong, Buff. I didn't leave Willow, she left first. And, oh, remember. She's not my girlfriend. You are… well, were, til you pretty much told me to blow."

" Ummm. I told you to get on with your life. which you should, right?"

" Yeah, it's that easy…" Why is she doing this? What's going on in that swamp in her head?

" Will could've made it easier…"

" Do we have to do this? Let me just get you to the hospital…"

" No… no hospital." Buffy says, sounding upset. " I don't need a hospital."

"You're pretty racked up, B." Faith insists.

" I'm fine. I'm FINE!" Buffy protests, " let me down." She hits Faith on the shoulder." Let me DOWN!"

Buffy starts to wriggle in Faith's arms; afraid she'll wriggle out and drop, Faith lets her down.

" Buffy, you look pretty wrecked, " Faith says," We should just go get checked out."

" Dammit, Faith, I know my body. I'm ok, " Buffy sounds pissed." Look, I'm fine. I can make it from here."

" I'll just walk with you, " Faith says, quietly.

" I don't need you're help Faith, I'm good, ok?"

Buffy walks a couple of yards, stops, and leans against a tree.

Faith walks up to her, nodding her head. " Fine, huh?"

" I'm good… just taking a rest. A little pooped is all."

" Why're you being so stubborn, Buffy?" Faith shakes her head. " I'm just trying to help you."

" I DON'T NEED A FUCKING HOSPITAL!" Buffy yells. " Now, go away." She says, in a quieter tone.

" I don't get you, Buffy. I'm just trying to help. But ok, Fine, whatever," Faith throws up her hands. " Next time, I won't save your life, ok?"

" Didn't ask you to, did I? I had it handled."

" Yeah, right. I saw how you had it handled!" Faith retorts. "unconscious, beast coming to make you dinner. Nice job," Faith shakes her head. " Why'd you take it on, anyway? Thing was nearly twice your size."

" Had to. People were trapped." Buffy says simply.

" Shit, Buffy. So you decided to get yourself killed, instead. Smooth moves." She walks over and taps Buffy on the head. " Hello?! Not a slayer anymore, remember?"

" Thanks for the reminder, Faith," Buffy says, sarcastically. " I almost forgot that!"

" Well, that's pretty damned clear!"

" Oh, just go the hell away!"

" Great, I will, " Faith turns and starts to walk off.

Buffy leans against the tree, and groans a little. " Faith, wait, WAIT!". She pushes off the tree, and starts to follow. But her legs give out, and she goes down on the sidewalk. " Ow!"

Faith turns around just in time to see Buffy go down. " Damn, Buffy." She quickly goes to her, kneeling. " Are you ok?"

" No," Buffy pouts. " Yes, … oh hell, I don't know. I'm ok, I mean… a little weak… but ok… just…I don't want to be a bitch, Faith. I really, really don't." She looks at Faith, her expression softening. " I miss you so much," She almost cries it out. " But things aren't right. I don't know if I … I can't be with you Faith. Not til I've made it right."

" Buffy, there's nothing to ' make right'. Everyone realizes that wasn't you. Not really. No one holds it against you, " Faith touches her shoulder. " Believe me, all's forgiven."

Buffy doesn't look up, but rather down." Some things can't be forgiven," Buffy says, remorsefully, " you just don't get it."

Faith lifts her chin, gently." Buffy, if anyone should ' get it' , it'd be me; don't you think?"

Buffy looks into Faith's chocolate brown eyes, and her heart melts. " Faith, I love you so much. I just want…" but she finishes not with words, but a soft, tender kiss. The two feel each other's emotions through their lips. When it breaks, Buffy pulls back." I can't… I won't let you … you can't waste your life on me, honey." Buffy says softly and sadly. She gets up, still shaky. Faith comes over to support her.

" Isn't that my choice, B? How I want to live my life? Don't I get a say?"

Buffy has a thousand things she wants to say, and can't. She wants to convince Faith of the futility, and can't. All she can do is look at her, drink her in one last time.

" Just take me home, Faith, please. I'm tired and I hurt."

" Buffy, I should take you…."

" Home, baby, just take me home please?" Buffy's eyes plead with her.

Faith knows she should take her to a hospital. She knows that she should just grab her and not listen to her. But she can't; not and face those eyes.

"Ok," Faith almost whispers.

She goes to pick up Buffy, but she refuses. She slings an arm over Faith's shoulder, and leaning heavily on her, starts to walk with Faith's support. I always seem to be needing Faith's support. But I gotta do this myself.

Silently, they walk into the night.

2

"Hey," Willow says, snuggling closer to Faith. " That was nice." She leans up and kisses Faith softly on the lips. " And me? I'm totally sweaty." She giggles.

" Well, Will, if you didn't get so crazy with your toys," Buffy says, raising her head up from the other side of Faith. " I'm still sore from that … monster thing of yours. Ouch!" She makes a pouty face.

" Oh, well, do you want me to kiss the boo-boo then?" Willow giggles.

" Are you two nuts? I mean, don't you ever run out of energy?" Faith looks at the two women lying next to her. " You're fucking killing me here. Or, you're fucking is killing me here. One of the two." She chuckles.

" Oh, oh, we wore her out, " Buffy says, giggling. " Where's all that famed slayer endurance, huh?"

" We're bad, Buffy. Bad, bad girls. We should be punished."

" God, not again!" Buffy says, " Don't think my bottom can take another round. How do you even sit down, Will?"

" Mmmm…. well, Faith here rubs out the nasty sting… then she starts kissing the boo-boo…"

Faith rolls her eyes. " You know, I'm surprised I still have a tongue, after taking care of the two of you. Then you go after each other. I swear, sometimes, you guys need like Anti-Viagra for women or something. Shit. I can't even FEEL below my tummy."

" We broke her. Damn!" Buffy says.

" You broke her, Buffy. I merely…" Willow giggles.

" ENOUGH! SLEEP! I NEED SLEEP!" Faith yells.

" Now she's pissed, " Willow says, sadly.

" Well," Buffy sticks out her tongue, waggling it. " I can think of ways to relax her."

Faith pulls the two of them to her, holding them tight. " No more. Please. If you want me to walk in the morning. No more!"

" 'K" Buffy and Willow say in unison, each snuggling under one of Faith's arms. Faith caresses both their heads, and they lay, each with their head on Faith's breast.

" Hey, guys, " Willow says sleepily." Think it'll always be like this. I mean, all of us together?"

She gets no answer. She looks up, and sees Buffy slipping from under Faith's arm.

" Where you going, Buff?" Willow asks.

" Hey, B, c'mon, get your butt back here." Faith says.

She looks at them smiling, but there's a hint of sadness in her smile. You can tell she loves them both from her expression.

" Sorry, guys. Gotta go. Not done yet. It's not right yet." She starts to walk to the door. She turns back around, her body covered in bruises and wounds. " Man, I wish I could just get it done."

" Buffy!"

" B, God what happened to you?"

" Oh this?" She waves at herself." Nothin'. Don't sweat it. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

Blood starts to drip out of her wounds.

" Buffy, you're bleeding. Stop!" Willow tries to get up, but she can't. She looks at Faith, but Faith's gone.

" Buffy. Don't leave!" But Buffy's already turned, going out the door. A trail of blood follows her. " Buffy! Buffy!!! BUFFEE!!!"

Willow's eyes open, and she sits up, covered in sweat. " God…" .

She gets up, and walks over to window, looking out. It's dark, and the street is empty. She looks towards the back house, but there's no activity, no signs of life.

She walks over, and looks at the clock on her nightstand. It's midnight. She frowns, her brow furrowed.

Where are you? Damn, Buffy, where the hell are you?

3

" Here, " Buffy says, softly, breathily.

Faith starts to approach the front door, but Buffy stops her. " No, baby, in back." She waves down the driveway. " Back house."

Her movements seem tired, moving slowly and with effort, as if swimming through molasses. As they walk towards the back, she stumbles a little, whimpering.

" Buffy, dammit. That's it. We're taking you to the hospital." Faith lifts her, and starts up the driveway.

" No, baby, please. So close. So very close. Don't…" Buffy protests.

Faith misunderstands her meaning; she looks at Buffy who is cradled in her arms. Buffy looks at her and smiles softly.

" I'm ok, really. Just fighting that thing really took it out of me… be better, lots, after I rest." She snuggles closer to Faith. " Please, baby, I just need you…nothing else." She lays her head on Faith's shoulder. " love you so much." She murmurs.

Faith is torn. Dammit, dammit, dammit! She looks at Buffy carefully, who seems to be so quiet, so peaceful. Maybe she's right, maybe it's just exhaustion. I'll take her back, and look her over. Decide then.

She walks down towards the backhouse. Buffy wiggles around in her arms.

" Buffy, careful. I don't want to drop you, " Faith chides her gently.

" You'll need this…or you'll have to break the lock… and I don't have the cash to fix it." Buffy smiles, producing the key. She hands it to Faith. " You're so beautiful, Faith, " Buffy sighs, snuggling closer. " I love you."

" I love you too, Buffy, " Faith says softly. And means it.

She shifts around a little to unlock the door, then carries Buffy inside. She carries her to the bed, almost tripping over the weights on the floor.

" Geeze Buff, " Faith says, " Once a slob…and I thought I was bad." Faith chuckles. She lays Buffy on the bed, then flips on the light.

Faith feels her stomach turn over. Buffy looks awful. She's pale, eyes look puffy and red. There are abrasions and bruising on her face, and her lip is bleeding a little. Her clothing has blood on it… her blood.

Hiding her reaction, she moves to Buffy, and carefully peels off her clothing. Buffy whimpers a little when the dried blood pulls away from her wounds.

Across her chest and tummy are the demon's claw marks. Red, angry looking and long, they stretch from side to side. There are bruises all over her. She carefully presses on Buffy's ribs. Buffy moans a little. Doesn't feel broken. Thank god for that.

" I'll be right back… just need to get some soap and water."

Buffy looks at her. She tries to smile, but her lip is quivering. She bites it, and quips, " Hurry back, sexy. I'm missing that hot body already." She manages a smile.

" Sure, gorgeous. Back in a flash, " Faith says, turning away so Buffy can't see her face.

Buffy seems to fall into a brown study. Her look is far away.

Hi, Buffy!

Buffy turns her head, and smiles. There you are.

I'm so proud of you. You did really good.

Really? Buffy's eyes tear up. You don't hate me?

Oh no… I miss you, Buffy.

I miss you, too baby. Lots.

Soon, Buffy, it'll be done. You'll be done. It'll be alright again.

Buffy smiles.

I gotta go now. She's coming back. But I'm here.

" Don't. Don't go!" Buffy cries out.

" I'm here, Buffy. Don't worry, " Faith smiles. " Sorry I took so long."

" Hey," Buffy smiles at Faith. " I kinda love you, you know?"

Faith doesn't say anything. She just smiles. Everything she has to say, she says with her eyes.

She starts to gently sponge Buffy down, removing blood and dirt. She has to return with fresh water a few times. Finally, she gets some antiseptic and gently tends to the wounds. Buffy cries out a few times, and she whimpers some. But she doesn't cry. Faith then gently uses a soft towel to dry the wounds.

" I really wish you'd let me take you to be checked out, " Faith says, not sounding pleased.

" Oh, baby, we've both had worse before," Buffy dismisses the wounds. " I'm gonna be fine now. Just sit with me awhile, ok?"

" Ok, Buff," Faith takes the bowl and other stuff and returns it to the bathroom. She comes back, and grabbing a chair from the corner, brings it over and sits by Buffy. She takes Buffy's hand.

For awhile, they don't speak. Buffy seems to drift in and out of sleep. Finally, she opens her eyes, seeing Faith looking down at her. She waves Faith closer.

" I can't believe you're still here," Buffy smiles, eyes lidded. " You're not a dream?"

" No, Buff. I'm real."

" I used to see you a lot. When I was there. In England." She reaches up and touches Faith's cheek, " But I never could touch you…"

Faith shivers a little internally. She remembers how Buffy would look right through her that first month in Devon. Faith looks away

" Faith, look at me. Please, baby, " Buffy pleads with her.

Faith looks over at Buffy, smiling. Buffy gazes back at her, eyes concerned.

" I know I've been a lousy girlfriend. I do."

" Shhh. Buffy, don't be silly," Faith sounds a little wistful." I know you've had a bad time of it, baby." She strokes Buffy's hair.

"Faith, honey. I'm insane, not stupid, " Buffy giggles at her joke, then winces and moans. " Ok, maybe no laughing. Ummm…thing is Faith, I know it's been mega hard on you, too," Buffy reaches out, touching Faith's face, turning it towards her. " Do you love me, Faith?"

Faith snorts, as if that's the silliest thing she's ever heard. " Yeah Buffy, I love you."

"You're not just saying that, to make me feel better, are you?" She looks at her wounds and winces," Not sure that's going to make me feel better."

" No, Buffy. I'm not just saying it. I love you."

" Faith, I'd really get it if you had a change of heart," Her mouth says, here eyes calling her a liar." I've told you lots of time to move on…"

Yeah, that's gonna happen while there's this 900 pound blonde gorilla hanging in the corner. Faith blows out air. God, she makes me crazy! Why doesn't she just get a little greedy for once and really want me without this nobility crapolla? But that isn't what Faith says.

" Buffy, I don't know how many times I gotta say it. I love you. Would you like that signed in blood?" Faith half grins.

" I love you too, Faith. That'll never change. But this is important," Buffy squeezes Faith's hand. " Gosh, I missed that. Just having your hand," She shakes her head. " I just want you to be happy, honey. Whatever it takes. I need for that to work out right." She looks at Faith intently. " You don't look happy, honey."

Duh. Well… you dump me, Willow walks out on me. I'm back to doing the get in, get some and get out. And I'm finding I hate it now. Oh, and you suddenly reappear just when I'm thinking maybe I can move on, and I've got all the feelings just going crazy in me. Why shouldn't I be happy??

"I'm just worried about you, Baby. You don't look good. I really think I should get you to the hospital…"

" Silly Billy. I'm gonna be fine, " Buffy winces, " Once I rest. Gonna sleep now cuz, " Buffy forces a yawn." I'm kinda bushed."

" Ok, gorgeous, " Faith says, leaning over and kissing her forehead, " Sleep. I'll be here."

Buffy reaches up, and again touches her face. " Be happy Faith, ok? For me?"

" 'K" Faith forces a smile, " Now rest."

Buffy let's her eyes drift closed.

Gotta figure a way to get them together, Buffy thinks behind her closed eyes. Get Faith to the front house. Then just take off. Tired now, god I… just rest a minute… then I'll figure it… promise…

Faith sits with Buffy while she sleeps. She keeps looking at her, not getting her. How can she just give someone away who wants to love her? I just don't get that. Sighing, figuring Buffy's asleep, she gets up to rummage up some bandages. Those wounds look nasty. Not good leaving them uncovered. She goes into Buffy's bathroom, and starts looking around.

" Damn, " She mutters after a fruitless search." How the hell can she just not have even a band-aid around?" She shakes her head." I gotta get her something." She searches her pockets, " shit, forgot my money at home… and what'd be open at this hour in Mayberry anyway?"

She walks back into the other room, and sees Buffy is still sleeping. I should just take her to the hospital. Screw it. No, cuz she'll just wake up, and make a fuss, and maybe make it worse. Crap. I need a smoke, gotta think…

Faith watches carefully, and moving quietly, eases herself out the door.

Buffy's eyes flutter open, and she starts to sit up. Crap, that hurts. She gets halfway up, and a wall of dizziness hits her. Ok, not good She thinks as she falls back on the bed.

It's ok, Buffy. It's all good. It's going to be fine.

Buffy smiles. She can almost feel a hand brush against her face.

Really?

Yes, I promise.

They'll be together and happy?

Yes. Just lie still, it's ok. It's almost done.

I love you.

I love you too. Shhh.

The solution hits Faith as soon as she steps out of the backhouse. " Well, duh," She mutters, looking at the main house." They gotta have something in there. Or maybe they know somewhere I can get something for her…". She starts walking towards the main house. I just hope someone's up.

Willow takes her glass of water and sits at the kitchen table, still puzzling and somewhat wigged over that dream. What did it mean? Why was Buffy all wounded like that? Where did Faith go. Ok, maybe I can get that one, but the rest was… well, weird.

The imagery was all so weird to her. The three of them, in bed? All of them obviously very comfortable together. Exactly what is that with Buffy making fun of me and my toys? Am I a sick girl, or what? The idea of being with Buffy, in bed, and doing anything but sleeping had never occurred to her. Of course, before Faith, Buffy had never really made any signs of being interested in women on a different level than friendship. Willow thought it a bit freaksome…though not exactly unappealing. Oh, c'mon, Buffy's a little hottie in her own right. Wasn't like I never wondered what it would be like… but it never went beyond the ' wonder what…' stage. Til now. And ALL of us together… ok, now we're bordering on some very awful porno here. And why'd it turn so dark…? Oh, for heaven's sake. This is stupid… just go back to bed.

Willow gets up, planning to put the glass away when there's a knock at the back door. Ok, who…Buffy? Why would she be knocking now? Maybe she's … just go answer it!

Willow goes and opens the door, talking before she sees who it is.

" Buffy, are you…." and she stands there stunned.

Almost as stunned as Faith, who looks up into the last face she expected ever to see again.

" YOU!" They say simultaneously

4

Ok, I’m Alice. I've just popped through the looking glass, and damned if everything isn't upside down. First Buffy, now Red?

" Uhhhh…" is all Faith gets out before she feels herself being hauled physically inside the kitchen door. Then she feels herself being shoved into the wall, and a pair of familiar, soft lips attack her face and lips. Her arms are held to the wall, and a very warm, soft body presses up against her. What the fuck? How did she… oh my…

Faith's mouth is captured by a pair of eager lips, and hands seem to be wandering all over her. She is too stunned and surprised to resist and when Willow's insistent tongue pushes against her lips, she opens her mouth.

The kiss itself is slightly wild, very passionate, and very possessing. Faith's mind seems to clear out as all she becomes aware of is this tongue sliding in and out of her mouth, and these hands grabbing and caressing her everywhere they can reach. Her own arms, now freed, go around Willow, pulling her closer.

The kiss breaks, but then wet warm kisses are being placed all over her face.

" How(kiss) did you( kiss, kiss) find me( kiss, kiss, kiss)? I don't( kiss, kiss) care, just god, I so missed( kiss, kiss, kiss) you!" Willow breathes, then her lips are back of Faith's. She draws in Faith's tongue, and sucks on it. Her hands slide under Faith's t-shirt, and she starts to rub Faith's breasts through her bra.

Willow truly never expected to see Faith again. She figured after that phone call, it was more than over. To see her on the doorstep, standing there, was like a gift from the powers. Now she wanted to unwrap her gift. Taste her gift. Lick and kiss and make her gift moan and gurgle and scream.

" Faith, Faith, Faith," Willow moans into Faith's mouth, her body starting to rub against Faith." Don't know why you're here, how you're here, and I don't give a damn. I just need you so much."

Faith for her part was in a whirl of confusion and emotion. She, like Willow, thought that they were over, and seeing her again? No way that was going to happen. She's here. She's all over me, attacking me. Oh god… Faith's mind goes blank, just feeling, not thinking…

" Ahem" A voice and light seems to interrupt the body to body activity. Willow almost jumps away, and Faith, rather over stimulated and feeling a little weak kneed, almost falls.

Rose Weiss takes a look at her granddaughter, looking somewhat flushed and disheveled, and at the strange woman against the wall, also looking flushed and disheveled, and sees the way her granddaughter won't look her in the eye, yet somehow keeps stealing glances at the dark haired woman, and things fall into place.

" Well, exactly what was I interrupting?" Rose is not smiling. " I'm going out on a limb and guess that you're the infamous Faith I've heard about."

Faith looks at Willow, who goes even redder and looks away, and then back to Rose, who stands with hands on her hips.

Oh, this doesn't look good. Not good at all.

" Uhhh… yes ma'am I'm Faith." Faith says. And that was a brilliant comeback, Faith!

" Well, it seems my granddaughter was rather pleased to see you. I can't say I am, after what you've done to her." Rose sounds upset, " So, Faith. Exactly why ARE you here, anyway?"

Faith, a little intimidated by the unexpected hostility… what did she tell her grandmother, anyway?… is for a moment at a loss. Then it all hits back home like a freight train. Buffy!

" Oh… god. Buffy!" Faith exclaims.

Both women look at her, surprised.

" She's in the back house. She's hurt… she was attacked. I brought her home. I need bandages…"

" Buffy? Hurt?" Willow looks guilty. God, she must've come to get … shit. " I'll get some stuff. Wait here." She almost runs over her grandmother in the doorway, running towards the upstairs bathroom.

" I'll just wait…" Faith starts towards the back door.

" Right there, young lady," Rose stops her with her voice. " I want to have a talk with you."

" But, Buffy…"

" Will be taken care of by my granddaughter. You, on the other hand," She comes over and takes Faith's wrist, " Are going to have a little chat with me." Rose starts towards the dining room, pulling Faith behind her.

Rose waves for Faith to sit down, but Faith declines. Rose gets a perturbed look on her face.

" I don't sit in places I'm not welcome, ma'am" Faith says simply.

" What have I done to make you feel unwelcome, child?" Rose asks, a little surprised.

" You think I haven't seen that look before? You think I'm dumb? Please, gimme a break, ok? You don't want me here, isn't that pretty much what you want to say?"

" Well, I'm so glad you made up my mind for me, " Rose says, with a touch of sarcasm, " it's so much easier when I don't have to do my own thinking. However," She frowns, " I usually prefer to."

" I think you've pretty much made up you're mind about me, " Faith says, defensively. " I'm bad news, right? I'm not good enough for your granddaughter. Well, thing is? I wasn't here for your granddaughter. I was here because Buffy got hurt, and I was looking for something to bandage her up. I didn't have a clue Willow lived here." She leans on the table. " Another tip? I didn't start what you saw in the kitchen, ok?"

" Oh, I was pretty sure you didn't. I know my granddaughter, better than she thinks I know her, anyway," Rose almost smiles, " She can be pretty passionate about what she wants, and when she wants it, and how she wants it. Thing is, I just want some answers. Think you can do that?"

Faith shrugs." Go ahead. Not like you can hate me much worse, can you?"

" There you go, answering for me again. I don't hate you, Faith. I don't know you. I don't like what's happened. I really wish you'd let me make up my own mind."

" I'm sorry."

" Look, Faith. I don't know you well enough to make a decision about you. All I know is what my granddaughter told me about what happened. And how it's affected her and Buffy. And somehow, you seem to have come out clean here. So, you have to forgive me if I'm taking a hard line on you. I don't like seeing Willow hurt. And I've grown rather fond of Anne… Damn, Buffy. It's so hard to keep that straight. I know they've been friends forever, until you showed up. See my point?"

" Yeah, I do . You think I'm coming between them. Let me tell ya something. Last thing I want is to come between them. Last thing I want in this world is what happened. It wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with Red… er… Willow. I didn't want to , but I did. " She looks at Rose with a rather hard expression. " I came out of this clean? I got to have my heart broken twice, lady. I can't have either of them. It's not right, is it?" Faith paces. " Doesn't mean I stopped loving them. But It means I have to stay away. I didn’t want this. I've lost a lot here, too. Sorry if that doesn't fit in your neat little picture of me as the bitch from hell that broke your granddaughter's heart."

Rose doesn't sense a lie out of Faith. She can see that same special quality she saw earlier in Anne/Buffy. Also a lot of confusion and heartache.

"So, what're you going to do, Faith?" Rose looks at her calmly.

" What can I do? I can't love one and hurt the other; I love them both. Pretty sucky, huh? I thought coming to Ohio would keep me far enough away so they could get over me, and I could try to get over them, and damn, if we're not just back to it again. But as far as I'm concerned, once I know Buffy's going to be ok, I'm gone. I'll just have to tell them both it's not gonna work, I can't choose, so I gotta go. Yeah, I break their hearts, so sue me. But better than just string them along, don't you think?" She sighs, " I tried that on the phone with Willow. It didn't work too good."

" Well, that explains why my phone got broken. She wasn't all that clear about it." Rose nods. She looks at Faith, and can't help but feel some small measure of sympathy. " I wish I could help you, somehow. I wish I had a neat answer. But you've gotten yourself in an impossible situation. Now you've got to do what's right, easy or not. I wouldn't want to be you. Before you break up with anyone, I think you need to think about this, though. You're giving up two pretty extraordinary women. I don't think you'll find their kind again. So, maybe you need to make a choice. Decide who you really love, and let the other one go. I hate to see you hurt them both. And yourself."

" Not that easy. No matter who I choose, as you say, everyone loses. They lose a best friend, and I lose one of them. And that's just a recipe for disaster, because I made them lose something precious to both of them. Each other, and their friendship. If I walk away, choose neither, at least they still have each other. Not what I want, but I can live with that a whole lot better." She nods her head, and faces Rose." See? I can be the cold heartless bitch when I need to be." She turns towards the kitchen. " We're done now?"

At that moment, Willow bursts in the room, heading for the phone.

"What?" Faith is almost knocked over by Willow. Her grandmother rises from the table. "What the hell, Red?"

" It's Buffy, Faith, " Willow reaches the phone, picking it up, " I can't wake her." She dials a number.

" Shit!" Faith takes off out the back door.

Rose sits down, the air knocked out of her. She leans her head in her hands.

" Yes," Willow says, almost losing her patience. " It's an emergency. We need an ambulance at 215 Elm St. Yes, she's breathing. I just can't wake her up. Why're you asking all these questions. Just send the damned ambulance!" She bites her lip to get control. " I'm sorry, I'm just… ok, ok. I'll meet them out front. Yes."

Willow put down the phone, turning to go out front. She sees her grandmother, who looks almost white.

" Gram, are you ok?" Willow says, going to her. " God, I don't need two in the hospital. Gram?"

" I'm ok, I'm ok… just a shock. I'll go back and help Faith." She stands up, drawing up her will. " Go out and meet the ambulance, honey."

Rose walks toward the kitchen.

" Gram, are you sure?" Willow asks worriedly. For the first time in her life, she's seen her grandmother look… drained.

" I'm fine, dear. Now go."

Rose walks to the backhouse, feeling the chill of the night air. I try not to ask for too much, God. But please, don't take her yet. She's too young. She has a lot of living to do. Please, let her stay with us.

She looks in the door to the front house, watching as Faith checks Buffy for vital signs. She decides not to interfere.

Faith touches her pulse point, then leans her head on her chest to listen for her breathing. She starts talking to Buffy, not realizing Rose is there.

" C'mon baby, don't do this. Don't do this. Hold on, helps coming. Just hold on. God, I'm so fucking stupid. I should've taken you to the hospital. Why didn't I? Why'd I listen to you? Damn you B, always doing this. Always trying to make it easier on everyone, and making it just so much harder. We can't lose you, dammit. You don't get to get out that easy. You don't leave me, you hear me? YOU HEAR ME!!! Get back here. Don't you check out on me now… don't do this… please, Buffy… don't do this…" She kneels down by Buffy, her tears starting to flow. ' Goddamn you, you aren't done fucking up my life yet, Buffy. Dammit, just don't die. Please, baby, don't die." She holds Buffy's hand, rubbing it . " Please, don't do this. You'll break my heart dammit. What about Will? You'll break her heart. You listen to me, Blondie you hold on. You stay here and keep making me miserable. You hear me? YOU HEAR ME?"

Rose, teary eyed herself, walks in and goes over to Faith, putting her hands on the young woman's shoulders." It's ok, Faith. Ambulance is on the way. It's going to be ok."

Faith looks up at Rose, cheeks wet. She turns back to Buffy, her tone soft and soothing. " Hear that, babe? Ambulance is almost here. Just hang in there, baby. Stay with us. We love you. We won't leave you. I promise. Just hang in there."

Flashing lights appear in the driveway, along with the sound of a vehicle backing towards the backhouse. Rose looks out and sees her granddaughter directing the ambulance down the driveway.

Two EMTs jump out of the ambulance, and come coming to the rear, open the doors. They pull out the rolling stretcher, and Willow directs them to the back house.

They come in and look at Buffy, one starting to question Faith.

" What happened to her?"

" She was attacked tonight. She fought them off, but she's been badly wounded."

" She should've been in the hospital, " The EMT shakes his head. He moves over, and takes her vitals. " Breathing shallow, pulse normal, BP 110/80. " He looks up, and signals his partner over. They begin trying revive her, without success. " Ok, we better get her to County Memorial now." Coming around, they carefully lift her out of her bed, using the sheets to keep her even and balanced. They bring her to the stretcher, and strap her down. " Let's go." He looks at the three women." Are any of you related to the patient?"

" No, " Rose speaks up. " She doesn't have any relatives in town."

" Do you know how to get in contact with her relatives? County can only provide emergency care until we have permission to treat."

" I'll call her mom. I have her number," Willow says, going towards the house.

" No, give me the number. I'll call. You ride along with Buffy, " Rose says. She looks at Faith. " Both of you. I'll get there as soon as I can."

Willow pulls out her cell phone." It's number one on my cell, Gram. Just push 1 and then Send. Her mom's name is Joyce." She hugs her grandmother. " Thank you."

Willow and Faith pile into the back of the Ambulance, and it speeds off, sirens wailing. Rose watches it go, a sinking feeling in her heart.

She remembers the last ambulance to speed out of her driveway. 20 years ago, when her Hank was so ill. A sudden and deep sadness almost overwhelms her.

" No time for that now, Rose," She mutters.

She pushes the 1 and then Send, and waits for a response.

" Hello, is this Joyce Summers?" she waits for the reply. " Yes, this is Rose Weiss. You don't know me. I'm Willow Rosenberg's grandmother. I'm sorry to call you so late, but I have news…"

5

Faith and Willow stand looking in the small glass partition separating them from Buffy.

Neither is aware of the passing time; they know they're allowed 10 minutes per hour to look at her, and they've been here a number of times now. She's the same; no change. Any doctors they've seen keep telling them it's too early to make any judgments.

They know time has passed. Joyce Summers and Giles showed up some time ago. Joyce is in there now, sitting quietly with her daughter. Holding her hand, rubbing it, talking to her sometimes; Faith and Willow see that when they're allowed back in. She looks up occasionally, and nods, indicating she knows they're there. Then she turns back to Buffy. Her whole focus on her child.

Joyce didn't have any questions when she came in. she just immediately went to her daughter. Faith and Willow knew that questions were coming; they weren't sure how they were going to answer them.

" You'll have to leave now," The nurse says to them. They've heard it so many times; it doesn't get easier for either of them.

They make their way back to the waiting room; waiting for the next time they can go in. They sit together, but don't interact. They might as well be sitting miles from each other. Guilt does that.

Faith feels guilt for not bringing her in right away. I shoulda done it. I shoulda just brought her in. I shouldn't have listened to her. I know better. She just stares into space.

Willow feels guilt for not calling Joyce back. Not letting her know Buffy was here. Even if Buffy hated me for the rest of my life, at least she'd be safe. Not here. And then there was what happened in the kitchen. Maybe if I hadn't been trying to get Faith naked, Buffy wouldn't have… damn. She also stares into space, with side glances at Faith.

Willow had sent Rose home hours ago. She saw how the strain was getting to her, and assured her there was nothing she could do here, not now. She'd call her with any change. I'm doing so good. I thought she was going to have a heart attack last evening. Great. Kill my grandmother and my best friend on the same day. Shit, don't think that way, Will. She's going to be ok. She has to be ok.

Two cups of steaming chocolate seem to appear magically in front of them. They look up and see the worried face of Giles looking back down at them.

" I figured perhaps you could use this," He says to both.

They accept the cups, but neither really looks at them. They just hold them like actors holding props in a play.

Giles looks into their worried faces. He can read the guilt and anguish they feel, and he knows nothing he can say will make it better. As if that would really stop you from trying anyway, Rupert, you old fraud.

" How're you holding up?" He asks solicitously.

" Just swell, Giles, considering I nearly killed B tonight. I'm doin' peaches," Faith mutters, staring at the chocolate.

" Faith, it wasn't your fault," Willow reaches over to touch her, but stops. " You couldn't have known how bad it was…"

" Yeah, well, I coulda just brought her anyway, couldn't I? No, I didn't though, did I? Now she's…"

" Faith, you can't do this to yourself, " Giles reaches over, patting her arm. " You didn't put her out there, fighting a demon. She chose that. And after? There was no way of telling how badly she'd been injured."

" I should've known, Giles. We can't sugar coat this. I didn't do what I knew I shoulda done, and now she's there…" Faith waves over towards the ICU unit, " And it's my fault. No one else to blame here."

" Really, Faith? Why didn't I call Joyce back? Why didn't I make sure she came and got her? Then she wouldn't have even been here to get hurt. But I was so afraid of losing her friendship, so afraid she'd hate me, I kept quiet. And now… might not matter, right? So stop blaming yourself, it's my fault, dammit." Willow rises suddenly, needing to get away. She spills chocolate on herself. " Damn… shit…" She wipes at herself. Seeing it's useless, she runs towards the bathrooms.

" Maybe I should…" Giles gets up.

" Naw, G. Don't think we want to bail you out on a Perv charge. I'll get her, " handing her chocolate to Giles, Faith takes off after Willow.

Giles watches her go, and sighs. He has his own guilt about Buffy. He'd stopped calling Devon, because it'd become too painful to here the non-progress reports on her condition. He hadn't checked up on her in months, and now this.

When Joyce had called, telling him about Buffy, he'd called Devon immediately, and found she'd left nearly six months prior. After nearly tearing Pamela Woodbury's head off as to why he hadn't been informed, he found that Buffy had requested they not call them. He still let it be known he as very upset. Since when does a patient make policy? But after talking with them awhile, he just got more stonewalls than answers, and hung up. Why didn't I check on her? Why …because, Rupert, you're somewhat a coward, all in all. Always have been. That's why you failed with Faith, because you didn't stand up to the Council, and now you've failed Buffy also. He felt a lot of bitterness towards the council; almost as much as he felt towards himself.

Willow stands, wet paper towel in hand, trying to rub out the stain on her blouse." Stupid, stupid, stupid Willow. Always doing the smart thing, huh, you dummy. Damn, this is never coming out." Still, almost compulsively, she rubs at the stain. Growing more and more frustrated, she keeps rubbing harder and hard, and then leans against the sink. Her emotions take over, and she starts crying.

Faith walks in and seeing Willow leaning against the sink, crying, goes to her. She wraps her arms around her, and holds her.

" It's going to be alright. She'll be alright. Buffy's tough, she's a fighter. She won't go down without a fight. Trust me on that," Faith remembers the many times Buffy's fist has hit her, especially in the face. Why does she always do that? Go for my face?

" It's… my fault, Faith…" Willow gets in between sobs," I … should've gotten Joyce on the phone. I …should've made her… go back… or something… but I didn't… and I knew she was going out and fighting. I saw her … leave at night… I used spells to protect her… but I … and then what she said… and what … god…this didn't have to …"

" Shhh," Faith holds her, rubbing her back." It's my fault too, Red. I should've brought her here, before … I shouldn't have let myself listen to her." Faith pulls away a little, looking at Willow's tear stained cheeks. " But Giles is right. We didn't drive her to do what she was doing. Something in her is making her take these chances. I just can't figure it out."

" I can," Willow says softly,' it's the soul. She can't deal with all her guilt. That's why she's doing it. Trying to deal with the guilt. She's hoping she'll die, so it'll go away,'" Red looks in the mirror. " I did that to her. I screwed it up."

" Red, stop that. You had to give her a soul back. She couldn't remain the way she was. Even she knew that," Faith holds her closer. " She just is having a tough time adjusting. She probably thinks going out, killing monsters, helps. She still thinks like a slayer, even if she doesn't have the powers anymore." She looks at Willow's reflection in the mirror. " We have to face the fact that maybe, she's never going to get adjusted, Red. She might never forgive herself."

" So, that's it? I just have to watch my best friend kill herself, because she can't deal? I can't do that, Faith. I can't just sit back and let her throw her life away." Willow shuts her eyes." I won't. I can't. If she did that, it'd be because…of what I did… because I didn't… oh, god I’m so…" She looks at Faith, and can't say more. Not now. She can't let her know the real reason she didn't help Buffy more. Not now. " I just… I just don't know what to do!" Fresh tears start down her cheeks.

Faith goes to her, gathering her in her arms. " It's going to be ok. I promise, " She says softly. " We'll find a way."

Faith holds her, letting her cry it out. Willow finally recovers herself, and breaks from Faith's embrace.

" I'm such a baby sometimes," She splashes her face with water. " Sorry for getting you soaked there."

Faith puts her hands on Willow's shoulders. Both look at their reflections in the mirror.

" Sometimes you gotta lean," Faith smiles at her. Willow turns, and covering her hand, squeezes it.

They leave the restroom to face what's coming next.

To be continued.
- 18
- 19
- 20
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