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A Pirate's Life for Me	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 13102 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-A Pirate's Life for Me
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 18
- 19
- 20
"Welcome to the Magic�"
Anya stopped in mid-sentence when she saw who'd just walked in. "Oh. It's
you, Spike. Well, you're not really a customer, so you don't get a greeting.
All you do is steal our burba
weed."
"Yeah, whatever. Gotta ask you a question," Spike
replied.
"About our
merchandise?"
"After a
fashion, yeah?"
Anya nodded, understanding. "About the book."
"You guessed it. You know
anything about how it works?"
"Sure do. I read the
instruction manual," Anya said with a chipper smile. She liked when she
could be helpful with information.
Spike cleared his throat, looking
around to make sure none of the other Scoobies were present. "Did it�did
it make the Slayer fall in love with me?"
"I don't think so," Anya
replied. "Technically, it should've pulled all the characters from Buffy's
psyche, even yours, since she was the woman and therefore the sort of 'default'
setting."
"So Buffy's
psyche made me the love interest?"
"Yep. It could've been a glitch since you both
have such strong personalities, but I don't think so."
"And�and the way we were with
each other�"
"You mean the hot, nasty sex
or the mushy stuff?"
Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Anya, did you read that book?"
Anya shrugged. "Of course I
did. Someone had to keep track of you guys, and everyone else was all weird and
squeamish about it." She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially,
"You know how those humans are."
"That I do," Spike said
with a smirk. "So the book? Did it�"
"Make Buffy love you? I don't
think so. And really, if she was completely resistant to it, it should've taken
the story in another direction. Made her end up with Riley or
Angelus or something. And is it just me, or is it rather interesting
that both of them ended up in bad guy roles? I mean, your psyche had something to
do with it, but ultimately, it was Buffy's fantasy, and in it you're the great love and her exes are�well,
pretty disgusting."
Spike blinked. He hadn't thought of
that. "Yeah, that is, um, interesting. So all that stuff that happened
between us, it wasn't just the characters spoutin'
off?"
"No. The book doesn't work
like that. All it did was take what the two of you already felt, what you
already had on your mind, and twisted it to fit the plot of the book. But it
didn't create much of anything out of thin air, and it certainly didn't create
the feelings. Emotions that powerful can't be made by magic. That's why love
spells tend to go wonky. Real love can't be faked."
"That spell Willow put on us a
while back certainly did a damn good job of it," Spike replied.
Anya snorted. "Oh please. You
two were probably in love then, too. Are we done here? Some real, non-thieving
customers just came in."
"Uh, yeah. That's all I wanted to know. Thanks, demon
girl."
"You're welcome. And if you
ever get any money, please, come back." She gave him a wide, plastic
smile.
"Yeah, I will," Spike
muttered, heading towards the back exit.

***
*** ***
Buffy decided she really needed to
start listening to the weather reports. If it said eighty percent chance of
rain that night, then dammit, she should skip the patrol. Or at the very least,
wear a raincoat.
But she'd had tension she needed to
work off, and she'd foolishly taken that twenty percent risk that she'd get
through the night dry.
She hadn't. She wasn't even through
the first cemetery when it had started, and now it was pouring so hard that she
fully expected an ark to come sailing by at any moment.
She could barely see with the way
the water was falling in her eyes. And to make matters worse, apparently all
the vampires had paid attention to
the weather report and stayed indoors.
It was time to go home. Only home was a lengthy walk away, and she was cold and wet.
Spike's crypt on the other hand was quite close.
"No," Buffy told herself.
"You can't go there."
But her feet were already walking,
ignoring what her mind was saying. It had been two nights since their
"date," and she'd deftly avoided him, despite her sister's constant
urgings that she do otherwise.
She stopped at his door, knocking
before she could stop herself. She swallowed when he opened it, staring up at
him with wide eyes.
"Slayer?"
"It's�it's raining."
"Do you want to come in and
dry off?"
Buffy nodded, and Spike was half
tempted to tell her too sodding bad. After the way she'd acted on his failed
attempt to bring her on a date� But that wouldn't exactly get him the girl, and
he was smart enough to know that. He stepped back. "Come on in, then. I'll
get you something dry to put on, yeah?"
Buffy stepped into the crypt.
"Okay."
Spike disappeared into the lower
level, coming up a few minutes later with a handful of very pink clothes. "Sorry.
These are Harmony's. I�all I have are jeans and
t-shirts, and they'd be too big for you to be comfortable."
Buffy wrinkled her nose a bit at
the idea of wearing Harmony's clothes, but the desire to get out of the soaking
wet things she was currently wearing won out. "Thanks," she said,
taking them from him. "And um, where is Harmony?"
"Kicked her out," Spike
said with a shrug.
"When?"
"That first night we came back
from the book. Couldn't sleep next to her after�" Spike stopped. "I
have some hot chocolate I could make, warm you up good. How about I do that
while you get dressed, yeah?"
"Okay, sounds good,"
Buffy said. Spike nodded and went into the kitchen area, keeping his back to
her as he rummaged around over there.
Buffy was surprised at how
considerate Spike was being. He hadn't made a single smart assed comment since
she'd shown up, instead doing everything he could to be accommodating, without
any questions. She looked down at the hot pink track pants and t-shirt with a
glittery unicorn that she was holding now and made a face. Maybe having her
wear these things was his way of tormenting her�
She slipped off her wet clothes,
noticing that Spike continued to keep his back to her. She surprised herself by
feeling disappointed. Didn't he want to see her naked? Or maybe he'd seen
enough of her and didn't care to again� She sighed and put on Harmony's
clothes, trying to shake off the creepy feeling they gave her. "I'm
decent," she said once she was dressed.
Spike turned around, unable to keep
from grimacing at the sight of the very shiny unicorn. "A little scary,
though."
"Hey, you're the one who gave
me the things to wear."
"I'm thinking maybe I
should've just given you one of my t-shirts. That shirt's just bloody
wrong."
Buffy smirked. "Unicorns have
never exactly been my style." She gestured to one of his chairs. "Is
it all right if I sit down?"
The Slayer was asking for
permission to sit in his house? Spike really hoped he could take that as a sign
that maybe she liked him more than she'd wanted to admit and not that she had
suffered brain damage from slipping out in the rain or something. "'Course." He took the two mugs of chocolate he'd
just prepared and carried them over to the living room area, handing one to her
before sitting down in the other chair.
Buffy took a sip of the drink, then glanced around. "Did you get some new furniture?"
"A little. I've been finding what I can, trying to
piece together a decent looking home. Got a real bed
downstairs now."
Buffy couldn't help but blush at
the thought of Spike's bed, and she wanted to kick her inner-Elizabeth for
that. "Where were you sleeping before?"
"On the
sarcophaguses. But
Harmony kept complaining." A sour look went over Buffy's face, and Spike
cursed himself for his stupidity. Why had he said that? He wanted to woo the
girl back into his life, and talking about his former was not going to do that. It was bad enough he'd had to give Buffy
Harm's clothes�
"You know, Spike," Buffy
said, taking another drink of the hot chocolate. "You really didn't have
to kick her out because of me. I mean, I'm certainly not going to be getting
any use out of that bed with you. No point in you being alone."
Spike heard a bitterness
in her voice, and hoped her words had been motivated by a jealous need to lash
out more than anything else. "I kicked her out because I didn't want to be
with her anymore, Buffy. Not like I was making room for you." Buffy glared
at him, and Spike quickly backpedaled. "Didn't mean that how it sounded. I
want you, Buffy. You know that. Nothing in this world would make me happier
than having you in my bed. I just meant�"
"I know what you meant,"
Buffy snapped. "Wouldn't mind another go at the Slayer, but it's not like
you'd want me around for long."
"What? Are you completely
daft? I want you for bleedin' forever! All I was trying to say was, whether you
still wanted to be with me or not didn't mean anything when I threw out
Harmony. Wasn't makin' room for you in the bed because you're
already there with me anyway, in my heart. Can't sleep
next to another woman. Can't sleep next to someone who�who isn't my
wife."
Buffy tightened her grip on the mug
she was holding to keep it from hitting the floor. "I'm not your
wife."
"No? Look me in the eyes and
tell me you don't feel like my wife�and that I don't feel like your
husband."
"Elizabeth and William got
married, Spike. Not us."
Spike jumped up, and his mug did
shatter against the stone floor, making Buffy jump. "Would you stop with
that? Bloody stubborn woman! We are
William and Elizabeth. Just because the book made us act a little differently
didn't mean we weren't the same people. You ever pay attention to what we said
to each other then, pet? There wasn't much of it couldn't be applied to our
lives back here."
"It was just a script, Spike.
Just words that the book made us say."
"No. I talked to Anya today,
luv. She read the instruction manual. Seems the book can't create love if there
isn't any there to begin with. Something about the emotion
being too powerful to be made by magic. Elizabeth loved William because
you love me."
"That's crazy! And you
certainly didn't love me, so�"
"I bloody well did! I've been in
love with you for, well, soddin' never forever it seems these days. I loved you
long before we got sucked into that book. Haven't you noticed? Haven't you seen
how I've been changing? How I've been trying so hard to help, to be good? It's
for you, Buffy. Because I love you."
Buffy set down
the mug of hot chocolate, no longer trusting it in her shaking hands. "How�how can you? You don't have a
soul."
Spike grit his teeth, forcing
himself not to snap at her. As much as it stung, he knew she had her reasons
for thinking that way. His grandsire had done quite a number on her� "I
don't need a soul to love you, Buffy. What I feel for you, it goes deeper than
any soul. It's in every bit of me, ever fiber of my being. I love you with
everything that I am, with all of my unbeating heart. I married you on that
ship, Buffy. I pledged to love you until there was nothing left of me, and I
meant it. You are my soul. You're
what makes me feel alive."
Buffy stared up at him, tears in
her eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to her before, even Angel. And
she was almost sure she could see the love shining from him. It would be so
easy to believe, so easy to let herself fall into his
arms. But the fear was still there, a dark stain on her heart. "I�I can't,
Spike," she said, standing up. "I want to, but I can't."
Spike took a step closer. "You
can, Buffy. You can love me. I won't let you down. I'll be the best man I can
be, and all for you."
"But what if your best isn't good enough? You're evil, Spike. You don't
know right from wrong."
"I bloody well do! Just
because I've never cared doesn't mean that I don't know. I know killing's wrong. And it's not just because the chip
would zap me either. This chip stops working tomorrow, and I carry on just like
I have been. You know why? Because I love you too much to ever hurt you. I'd
dust first."
"What if you get tired of me? What
if I'm not enough, and�and you leave me. Then what?"
"Won't
happen."
"How can you be so sure of
that?"
"Because I'm
not them, Buffy. I'm not
the sort of man who leaves."
"You kicked Harmony out."
Spike gaped for a moment at that.
"I� Bloody hell, woman, that was Harmony. What about the hundred plus
years I stayed with Drusilla, even when she flaunted her relationship with
Angelus right in front of me? That doesn't tell you anything?"
"I don't know, Spike! I don't
know! It's all too much, okay? I don't know what I feel. I don't know what you
feel."
Spike's facial expression softened.
"We love each other, Buffy. We do. Please, kitten�"
"I need�I just need time to
think. Sort everything out. Can you give me that?"
Spike closed his eyes, taking a
deep breath. She was being so difficult� He opened his eyes. "Yeah.
I can give you that."
"Thank you. I think the rain's slowed down a bit, so I'm going to head on home. I'll
bring you these clothes back later, okay?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Burn
the bloody things."
Buffy gave him a small smile. "I
just might." She picked up her own clothes, wrinkling her nose as the
dripped on the floor. "You have anything I can put these in?"
"Yeah. Just a second."
Spike went over to the kitchen, coming back with a black garbage bag.
"Here."
"Thanks." She dropped her
clothes in except for her tennis shoes, which she put on, frowning as the
squished when she walked. "I'll see you around, okay?"
"Don't take too long to think,
please Buffy?" he asked, his tone softer than she was used to. He gave her
a heartbreaking smile. "I'm not exactly known for my patience."
"I know. I'll�I'll try." Buffy
gave him a small smile before leaving the crypt, walking out into the now-light
rain.

***
*** ***
It's three in the morning, and I'm
going to be dead on my feet tomorrow at work, but this chapter wanted to be
written now. *sigh* I know it probably seems like I'm dragging things out and
playing with your emotions over here, but I am working towards a Spuffy-friendly
conclusion soon. Just have to get that stubborn Buffy in the right place first.
Leave me lots of reviews, and I bet
the next chapter will come faster. (And that, folks, is blackmail�)
- 18
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A Pirate's Life for Me