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Darkening of the Light	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 6342 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
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The next few days
saw an uneasy peace in the crypt. Buffy still wasn't talking much, but she
seemed to be getting better rather than worse, which Spike was grateful for. He
could almost let himself hope that they were going to get through this.
Then, three days
after her Watcher's visit, Buffy made an announcement that both shocked and
elated Spike.
"I want to go
out."
He turned towards
her, his eyebrow arched. "You do?" he asked, trying to keep his voice
calm and steady. His main concern as of late had been not doing anything to
make her skitter back into her deep depression, and he wasn�t going to jump to
the conclusion that her simple declaration meant that he could relax.
"Yeah. I mean,
not to like kill anyone or anything�" Buffy ducked her head as she spoke.
Spike moved closer
to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "I know, kitten. Where do you
want to go?"
Buffy looked up, a
mixture of nervousness and hope in her eyes. While the idea of leaving the
crypt and facing the outside world now truly terrified her, she'd come to the
conclusion that it was something she needed to do, and the sooner the better.
As frightening as facing what was beyond the crypt was, the idea of never
leaving, of never being able to learn how to go forward from here, was even
scarier.
She didn't want to
become lost and broken. It was hard, but she knew she was stronger than that. Despite it all, part of her was
still the Slayer, and she had made the firm decision that she was not simply going
to let herself waste away. She needed to find her place in the world again.
And Spike needed
her, too.
It surprised her
somewhat how big of a part that played in her decision to face the world again.
While her talk with Giles had done her some good, the biggest benefit of it had
been simply knowing that Spike would go so far as to
seek out her Watcher because he was worried about her. She knew,
that for a vampire like Spike, such an action spoke volumes.
It had shown her
how much he loved her and what he was willing to do in order to help her. He
needed her to get better, and she wasn't going to let him down.
"The
Bronze?" Buffy suggest. "I used to� I used to like going there."
"The Bronze
it is then, kitten," Spike replied. "Anyplace you want to go, we'll
go."
Buffy favored him
with a warm smile, the one Spike could never seem to
keep from responding to with a smile of his own. "I'm going to go
downstairs and change my clothes, okay? Sweats aren't exactly Bronzing attire."
"I'll wait
for you up here then, princess."
With another
brief, yet glorious smile, Buffy made her way down to the bottom level of the
crypt and to the armoire Spike had found her for her clothes. Her eyes were
drawn to a red mini-dress, and she flinched as she remembered the night she'd
gotten it. She hadn't thought twice about murdering the shop clerk in order to
get what she�d wanted. No, she'd enjoyed it, taken pleasure in the act.
Buffy shook her
head, pushing back the memories of that night. She couldn't dwell on them now,
not when she couldn't do anything to change them. She had to look towards the
future, put herself back on track. She'd made mistakes, acted like the demon
she was now, but she could rise above that, she knew. She just needed to look
towards the future, not allow herself to drown in the
past. Her soul was clearly stuck with her, since the curse hadn�t been broken
like with Angel. She wouldn�t hurt anyone again and she had time to make up for
the things she�d done.
Steadying herself,
Buffy reached into the armoire and took out the dress.

*** *** ***
It had taken
willpower Spike didn't even know he possessed to keep his hands off of her and
let them both leave the crypt. She'd put on a bright red dress and knee high
black leather boots�a combination that was very high at the top of his
favorites list. Her golden hair fell around her shoulders in gentle waves and
her green eyes were highlighted by smoky black shadow.
He'd trembled at
the sight, but had kept his touch limited to taking her hand in his when she'd
offered it to him.
They made the trip
in silence, neither of them speaking until they reached the entrance of the
club, where Buffy froze. Spike tightened his grip on her hand as he stroked it
with his thumb. "Are you sure you want to do this, luv?"
Screwing up her
courage, Buffy nodded. "I think I need to. You need me to."
At that, Spike
frowned, her declaration not making sense to him. He tugged her back, away from
the crowd of teenagers milling outside the club and over into the shadows,
where they could talk alone. "I need you to? What do you mean, sweetheart?
You're not just out here tonight because of me, are you? Because if you don't
want to be�"
Buffy stopped his
words with a finger against his lips. "No, Spike, that's not it. I just
meant, well�" She dropped her hand and turned her head slightly, looking
into a puddle beside her feet, not even registering the fact she wasn't
reflected in it.
"I want to
try to make us work, okay? I�well, I don't want to
lose you. I don't want to lose us. It
can't be like it was before, but it's important to me to try to move forward
with you. I don't really understand why you're sticking around, but you are,
and I'm not� I'm not going to turn away from that."
"I could
never leave you, Buffy, no matter what happened. You're my�" Spike
stopped, searching for the word. How could a single word encapsulate what Buffy
had become to him? She'd flipped his whole world upside down, torn apart
everything he'd ever known, and yet she'd then turned around and given him more
than he'd ever thought possible.
"You're my everything, kitten."
His quiet
declaration made Buffy turn her head to look up at Spike again. His eyes held a
shine she knew he'd never admit to, and she smiled despite her own tears.
"You're mine, too."
It had been too
long since he'd tasted her, and Spike could no longer hold himself back. He
tugged her towards him, his lips finding hers on instinct. Buffy didn't pull away,
but instead wrapped her arms around him, her fingers digging into the leather
of his coat as she sighed in contentment against his mouth.
This was what she'd been missing these past few days.
She closed her eyes, let the feel of kissing him again
wash over her, her body loosening as he brought his arms around her, supporting
her.
When she broke
away, his eyes were dark, and he panted the way he always did when she kissed
him, giving her that heady feeling that came with knowing she affected a man
like that. She gave him a sly smile, even as she licked her lips to capture the
lingering taste of him. "We should go inside."
For a moment,
Spike looked confused, and Buffy stifled a giggle as she realized he was trying
to remember where they even where. Then, he cleared his throat and nodded. "Right. Inside. The Bronze."
Buffy took him by
the arm and led him inside, pulling him right onto the dance floor. Spike
wasn't sure what to expect, but he certainly wasn't disappointed when Buffy
turned and started moving herself against him to the music.
Not willing to
reject anything she was willing to offer, Spike placed his hands on her hips,
guiding her movements as she swayed in time with the steady beat.
Buffy could feel
his erection pressing against her bottom through the denim of his jeans, could
feel the leather of his coat brushing against her legs as they moved together.
Her entire body hummed as the scent of Spike surrounded her, breathing in deep
to fill herself with it.
And she realized
in that moment that she could let go with him. It was okay to let go with him. What they had done together was more than
violence, more than bloodshed. They had love, and Buffy knew in her heart the
love they shared wasn't wrong. It transcended their demons, transcended even
their human selves. It was something she'd never looked for, never expected,
and yet it was there, stronger than either of them.
She started to
turn, the words she'd been so afraid of these past few days ready to fall from
her lips when she felt Spike freeze. Before she could ask him what was wrong,
she looked forward and realized who he was seeing.
Willow.
Behind
her, Spike growled low in his throat, and Buffy placed her hand on his,
steadying him. A look of confusion and hurt in her eyes, Willow moved towards the blond
couple, even as Oz called after her to stop.
Sensing a conflict
arising, Buffy turned quickly to Spike. "Let me talk to her, okay?"
Spike's response
was another growl, but he didn't fight her, didn't follow her when she stepped
away from the dance floor. Yet she could still sense him behind her, could
sense the tension in him and knew he'd strike the moment he was provoked.
Buffy noted, oddly
enough, that was more comfort than she'd thought it would be.
"Buffy? What
are you doing here with him?" Willow asked once Buffy was close enough to
talk to, the tone in the redhead's voice belying her sense of betrayal.
The irony of that
was far from lost on Buffy.
"I'm with Spike now, Willow," Buffy
replied, bitterness seeping into her words. For a moment, she tried to fight it
until she realized she didn't want to. "It's where I belong."
"Buffy,
no!" Willow protested. "You belong with your friends�with
your family!"
Buffy stiffened,
her anger growing by the moment. "I am
with my family, Willow. I'm with Spike."
For a moment, all
Willow could do was gape, her mouth opening and closing several times before
she said, "But�but your soul!"
Buffy let out a
humorless laugh. "My soul. My soul. How dare you, Willow? How dare you do that to me?"
Willow bristled,
knocking Oz's hand off when she felt him come up behind her, trying to guide
her back away from the former Slayer. Buffy noticed Oz's hand wrapped around a
stake, and the image served to further highlight the divide between her old
life and her new.
"I did what I
had to do, Buffy! You�you were
killing people! I couldn't let you go on like that!"
"I was
happy!" Buffy yelled back. "Now I feel like�" She stopped,
shaking her head. "You know, I wish I'd killed you before you had the
chance to do this."
Willow blinked,
tears immediately rising to her eyes. "Buffy? How�how can you say that?
I'm your friend."
"No you're
not! Don't you get it, Willow? Your friend is dead! I�m�I�m someone else now."
Willow shook her
head rapidly, even as she finally accepted the support of Oz's steady hand.
"No. No. It can be like it was.
You can�"
"No!"
Heedless of any attention they may be getting from the Bronze's other patrons
of the evening, Buffy let her demonic features slip into place. "This is
me now, Willow. A demon. And thanks to you, I have to both fight my nature and
suffer for the things I've already done."
At the sight of
Buffy's true face now, Willow reared back. "Buffy?" she asked, her
voice growing meek.
"This is what
I am, Willow. You should've just let me be this."
Buffy felt Spike
approach her even before his hand was on her arm, and at the first touch of his
skin against hers, she let the ridges on her forehead fade. As much as Spike
wanted to see the little witch suffer for what she'd done to Buffy, he couldn't
let her bear the weight of another death on her soul�and as tense as things
were, he knew they could easily get out of hand.
Willow looked
between Spike and Buffy, her head shaking back and forth. "This isn't
right. This isn't how things were supposed to be."
His expression
tight, anger barely under control, Spike replied, "No, Red, it isn't. Not at all."
Buffy turned to
Spike, looking at him with wide, watery eyes. "Take me home?"
With a swirl of
his duster, Spike led Buffy out of the club, ignoring Willow as she called
after them.

*** *** ***
I just have to
say, I got a new laptop today, and I am the happiest little writer ever. LOL
Hopefully, it�ll inspire me to write more, just so I can use it. *wink*
Please review!
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Darkening of the Light