Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Independence	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Faith/Willow Views: 7379 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Independence

By Norwalker

Part 18 of

Summary: What did Willow and Faith discuss in that little car trip from L.A. to Sunnydale in season 7? And what were the consequences? A Willow/ Faith story

Rating: R, Very R
Category: romance/drama/angst
Spoilers: Possible season 7 spoilers. Possible season 4 Angel spoilers. C'mon, you must have seen 'em by now!
Time Line: Mid season 7(after the return of Faith) and beyond
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.

Warnings: Adult themes, violence, sexual situations between members of the same gender. Please be aware, character death is always a distinct possibility. It can happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you!!! Any racist remarks are spoken by the characters, and are in no way shared by the author. This story is not meant for children.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

6 AM, the next morning.
Faith sits on the staircase, watching as the clean up crew begins to haul out the mess that covers the lobby. She's been up since 5, when she let the crew in to begin work. Bleary eyed from lack of sleep, she's feeling in none too generous a mood.
In fact, she's furious.
- Well, it's true. No good deed ever goes unpunished. I try my best to find Buffy last night and what do I get? A ration of crappola. First I'm out looking everywhere with no luck, but hey, that's just my job, right? Finding dysfunctional slayers is my real calling. Right? Ok, then I come back, and I ask Willow to help with a locator spell, and she acts like I'm asking her to haul shit to the dump. And when I find it just a little hard to believe Buffy is hiding in plain sight in the hotel, Willow goes ballistic on me. Ok, I was wrong about that, but did I deserve being called a coward? No, I'm thinking not. Yeah, ok, I left her. Ok, I was stupid, and been kicking myself like every day since, ok. But does she consider that, maybe? Oh, no. I'm the heartless bitch that dumped her. Maybe like she might give me the benefits, and figure I WASN'T LYING TO HER! I was scared I would hurt her. I didn't know if I could control my nature. Gee, Willow, I just learned what I was. Think it's easy to know I'm not entirely human, girl? You think that leaving you wasn't the hardest thing I ever done? Oh, but I'm heartless, remember? I probably went skipping through the posies, kicking puppies in my path I was so happy, right? You think I don't know I hurt you? You think I didn't hurt, too? I guess you must, after what you said. Oh yeah, you're pretty powerful, Willow. But I'm pretty powerful, too, and damned fast. Who's to say that I couldn't snap your neck before you even moved a muscle? Think I could live with the idea that I killed you? Think I don't worry about that, even now? Shit, you don't think much, do you?-

- Ok, so what if what you said might be true. So what if maybe I'm just a little scared of loving you, Willow? So the fuck what? You're right, you didn't have my life, you don't know what it's about, wanting to love and no one… NO ONE… returning it. See if you don't get just a wee bit scared if that happened to you. But it never did, did it, Willow? Everybody loves you. Everybody thinks your sweet and loving and kind. But hey, you got a pretty cruel mean streak in you, girl. Don't you think you don't! You're pretty damned willing to use your claws on me, aren't you sweetie? But then, I'm the cold hearted bitch, so I got it coming. Isn't that right? Right?-
- Oh, and Buffy? Thanks so much for acting so mature as to disappear, so I gotta go looking for you half the night. And thanks for getting Connor's adoptive parents so mad at me, they're threatening legal action. And, did I thank you for puking on me, and the floor, after getting so drunk I was afraid you'd choke on your own vomit? Did I thank you for that? Oh, yes, and the shower scene? So not sexy, girl. Just a tip, ok? And, then, you acting like a brat when I tried to sober you up enough to not die. Gotta love that. Especially when it brings Willow running to your defense. Never mind I was trying to help you. What do you do? Scream bloody murder, and of course, who does she believe? You, the drunken psycho…that's who. Because you're Buffy, and I'm just Faith. You know, Faith the previous psycho girl, who everyone remembers that way, but does anyone kinda remember I've changed? Not on your life, uh-uh. Buffy's the good slayer. Faith's the BAD slayer. That's just the way it's always gonna be, right? RIGHT?
Faith, in anger, kicks her foot out, breaking a post in the banister. The noise attracts the attention of one of the workers, who looks up at Faith in surprise. Faith, on the other hand, is wearing a sheepish expression.
" Hey, ma'am? I mean, It's great you brought us out here on triple time to clean up the mess. Gotta love the money, you know? But you did kinda give us a deadline, and if you're gonna keep breaking stuff, we'll never make it, ok?"
- Aw, crap, now I'm getting blamed for the destruction, too. Just swell! –
" Sorry, " Faith blushes and waves her hands apologetically. " Sorry!" Feeling even more stupid, Faith runs downstairs and scurries into the office behind the reception desk… a good hiding place, at the moment.
Unfortunately, she's not alone. Kira is already in residence, looking over some paperwork on the desk. –God, does she ever take a break?- Faith, seeing the desk occupied, plops down in one of the chairs fronting the desk. Kira looks up, and half smiles.
" Well, good morning sunshine," then, noticing Faith's glower, says, " I retract that… good morning, dark clouds of doom." She peers at Faith and frowns, " you look like hell."
" Slept like crap, " Faith grumbles, needing coffee." Figured I get up and see the work gets done this morning… and surprise, you're awake, too." - Damn, she looks like a picture, how the hell does she do it, anyway? -
" Yeah, slept like a baby, " Kira says, looking down at the papers in front of her. She gets an impatient expression on her face.
" Babies sleep like shit, ya know. Up every two hours, either needing a bottle or a change," Faith says, in passing.
" Didn't say it was a great sleep," Kira smiles to herself, " So, oh grumbly one, coffee? To soothe the savage beast?"
" The quote is ' to soothe the savage breast' , you know," Faith corrects her, hauling herself up to get a cup of coffee. Kira waves her down, and turns , sliding her chair to the coffee pot. She pours a cup of coffee, grabs a few packets of sugar, a stirrer and slides the chair back behind the desk.
" C'mon, baby, you know well as I do that until you get coffee in the morning, you're a real beast. Don't know about your breasts." Kira giggles, handing Faith the coffee, sugar and stirrer. Faith prepares the coffee, and sips, giving out an audible sigh of happiness.
" Heaven," Faith sips her coffee. She leans back in the chair, getting comfortable. She yawns.
" You look beat, " Kira says, her voice reflecting her concern, " I was already up… I could've let the crew in."
" Mmm, yeah I guess," Faith stretches a little, " but I wanted to make sure the job got done, It's kinda important."
" Faith, with you, everything is important. You've gotta learn to ease up a little, relax, delegate, you know?"
Faith almost spits out the coffee she just drank. " Oh, my god, this, from you? Puh-lease, Ms. Kira' Get- up- early- not- happy- til- I've- done- 5- projects- before- 8 am- don't- take- vacations-unless –forced-to' Hearne? Someone's doing a little ' do as I say, not as I do' around here, isn't she?"
" Totally different thing, Faith. Sure, I work hard, it's my job, and I love it. And, of course, I'm worth every penny you pay me, and more, " Kira's not too subtle with the hints, " but when I'm done, end of day? I let it go. I don't spend my 'off' time worrying about every little thing. I mean, if there's a crisis, different, but I find they'll find me no matter. You, sweetie, on the other hand, take every little bit and worry it to death. You're 'on' 24/7, never give yourself some off time, and feel ever little detail is your responsibility. You've got to let go, learn some way to not let everything bother you, or I'm gonna be visiting you in the padded room. And not too far off, either. Get me, Ms. Boss lady?"
" Please, Kira? No lectures this morning, " Faith grumbles into her cup, " had enough lectures for awhile."
" Yeah, kinda heard the commotion last night."
Faith shakes her head. –God was it broadcast over the PA system or something?- Faith retreats into her coffee, a sure sign she doesn't want to talk about it.
Not that it ever stops Kira.
" Look Faith, I know it's not my business, " Kira starts.
" You're right there, Kira," Faith agrees. – As if that'll stop her. -
It doesn't
" … But, ummm… now, don't go all ballistic on me, but maybe… could she have a… well, could she be right?" Kira hopes she can clamber under the desk quickly, in case.
" What? You too? You think I'm some kinda coward, too?" Faith feels the flush creeping up her neck.
" No, of course not, " Kira smoothes it over, " I'm just saying… could you be a little … scared about … well, being in a relationship?" – I'm so applying for combat pay, I swear.-
" Or maybe," Faith's tone is heavy on the sarcasm, " just maybe what I said is true? That I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt her? Think that maybe that's a possibility?"
" Don't you think this is hurting her?"
" Dammit!" Faith explodes out of her chair. Forgetting she has coffee, she nearly spills it on herself, just getting her angrier. " Isn't anyone like, on my side in this?" She starts pacing in the not overly roomy office.
" Is this really about sides, Faith?" Kira says gently.
" I'm thinking it is , at least for her, " Faith mutters, " I mean, it's I'm wrong, and she's right… right? What do you call that?"
" I don't think it's that at all, Faith," Kira says, quietly.
" Oh, really? Then what IS it about, oh wise one?"
" Well, if you're gonna start getting nasty with me ..." Kira trails off.
"I'm sorry…sorry, sorry, sorry, " Faith gestures impatiently, and turns away.
" You know Faith, when you made me your number 2 in the company, no one expected that. They figured you would go with one of the senior execs, the ones with all the time and experience. But you interviewed me, and saw something you liked, I think, cuz you gave me the job. That took some real guts, to show me that kind of trust, you know." Kira stands up, and walks over to where Faith is standing, putting her hand on Faith's shoulder, " you're probably the gutsiest woman I've ever seen in business, know what I mean?" Faith nods her head. " But when it comes to personal stuff, you… well, baby, don't get all mad, but you kinda fade out, you know? I've never ever seen you date anyone, even though I've seen you attract a lot of interest at work, and away from work…" – Even me, you dope…if you'd only asked once… -
" Not really into dating, Kira" Faith stands quietly, looking out through the window at the work going on.
- Yeah, kinda noticed that, goof – " So, when I see you look at Ms. Rosenberg, I can see like you carrying this big thing for her around, you know?"
Faith shrugs.
"And, I see how she looks at you… total sparkage there. But I also see hurt, there, honey. After last night, kinda getting the idea that she's hurt, cuz you maybe didn't trust her very much."
" I trust her with my life, Kira"
" Really? Sorry, honey, I'm really not buying that one. I know you're not trusting her with your heart, " Kira rubs her hand gently along Faith's shoulder. " I think she thinks that you think she's going to bolt at the first sign of badness. Know what I mean? I think she needs to know that you understand she'll be there for you, no matter… don't you get that?"
" Shit, " Faith breaks away from Kira, her emotions all confused, " Dammit, don't sugar coat it, Kira. I'm a fucking monster… I'm a freak, you know? How can she love a freak like me? How can she ever feel safe with me? How can I protect her if I go bad? HOW?"
" I think she's willing to take that risk. Question is, are you?"
" How could I live with myself if I killed her? I wouldn't want to live with myself without her…"
" Yet here you are, living without her."
" That's different… I've got to protect her from me, even if it means I can't be with her!"
" I'm not saying you're not concerned with her safety, though I think you're all screwed up on that one…"
"What do you know about it? I could go bad any second, be a monster or …"
" Oh, c'mon, Faith. I've been working with you for a year. God, I've seen you in all kinds of situations. Things that would make others go nuts… and you keep yourself collected and calm. I'm really not thinking that whatever you carry inside you is gonna just pop out suddenly… and you know what? I don't think YOU really believe that, either!"
"What do you know, anyway?" Faith turns away from her, fists clenched.
" I know this, Faith Lehane, I know that what you told me about that night that you … executed the monster that was your father. I know that…" Kira goes over to Faith again, and turns her towards her, looking directly in the eyes, " I know you saw something in her eyes that night that scared you to death. You saw fear and revulsion. And now, you're afraid that you'll see that again. You're afraid that she'll be disgusted with you, and fear you, and that'll break your heart into a million billion pieces. And that, Faith, is what you fear most!!!!"
Kira found the chink in Faith's armor. Faith stands there, shocked by her greatest fear being exposed. Her normally cool and collected exterior, already wobbling, collapses. Her face seems to crumple and she starts to shake, the hurt and pain causing deep sobs to rock through her. Her chin falls to her chest, and the tears start to fall from her face to the floor.
Kira feels her own eyes get wet as she gathers Faith into her arms, holding her as she cries from a place deep inside and so long ago. She holds her gently, like a child, rubbing and patting her back, doing what she can to soothe the pain she feels.
" Shhh, there, there honey, just let it out, it's ok… let it go, that's right honey, let it go," Kira tries to comfort Faith in some small way, tries to let her know it's ok to let someone share the hurt, and to share it.
Neither one sees Willow standing at the reception desk, looking in the window. Her face seems pale, and drawn, her mouth turned down into a frown. She turns quietly away from the desk, and walks upstairs.
It takes awhile, but Faith finally cries out her tears; the pain, while not gone, is lessened. She realizes someone is holding her, and looks up to see Kira smiling at her, some little tears staining her cheeks. She grins self-deprecatingly, and gently breaks out of Kira's embrace, backing off a few steps.
"Well, that was kinda … embarrassing," Faith says, trying to downplay what happened.
" Oh yeah, being human. Needing comfort. Yeah, that's truly dreadful. Uh-huh, " Kira says with a healthy dose of irony laden in her words.
" Ok, ok, I get it. I've been pretty stupid, I get that." Faith is already trying to throw back up the armor. She doesn't like being this exposed, this vulnerable.
" You know, Faith, true strength doesn't come from not needing anybody. It comes from knowing when you need help, and knowing how to ask for it."
" Ok, so, you got the job."
" Oh, no. I do enough around here. Nope, there's someone else I think that should fill this position, don't you?" Kira gives her a knowing glance.
" Oh, god, I'm so screwed, " Faith moans, " I've been so wrong here, and I don't have a clue how to fix it. She'll never want me again, don't you see, Kira? She's gotta so hate me! What do I say to her? How do I make her know I…" Faith hesitates, this is the hardest thing she's ever had to admit, " … how do I make her know I love her, really love her? Make her know I trust her? How? You really gotta help me, Kira."
" Hey, don't even look at me, Faith. I'm no expert, and frankly? I don't know this woman. I haven't a clue what to say to her, what to do to make it right with her."
" Shit. Then it's over. It's really over. I don't have a chance here," Faith, discouraged, plops down in a chair." I've lost her, because I'm a total moron. An idiot. A true dope!"
" Well, duh. If you think that way, you really are," Kira prods her.
"What are you giving me grief about now, Kira?" Faith growls at her.
" You want to know Willow, right?" Kira asks the obvious.
" Well, duh, to quote you," Faith rejoins.
" You have probably the best Willow expert right here, living in the hotel. And, she needs help, help probably only you can really provide, you know? Is the light bulb going on yet?"
" Oh, of course… huh?" Faith says, a little annoyed at the game. Thinking right now is not her best suit.
" Ok, are you being deliberately dense? Blonde, kinda short, really soft eyes, kinda not all clued in? Getting the picture now, Miss Marple?"
" You mean Buffy?" Faith asks.- Oh, yeah, she's so gonna help me. Right. Uh-huh. -
Kira touches her nose with one finger, and points at Faith with the other. " There you go, now that's the girl I know, using her noggin, at last!"
Faith chuckles, nervously, " You're nuts, Kira. Buffy wouldn't help me. Never mind she skating with one skate right now, it's rusty and dull, and the ice is reaaaallly thin. Buffy doesn't really approve of me and Willow, I'm pretty sure." Faith thinks back to that time when they were at the safe house after Sunnydale. How Buffy nearly had a cow being disturbed by Faith's and Willow's problems.- Yeah, sure. She's gonna play cupid now. Like, when pigs do airshows.-
" Ok, well, you know well as I do that Buffy's in a bad way. I'm thinking, and it's only a guess, that she's kinda feeling adrift. Not feeling part of anything. Not having any real purpose. You know, kinda how you felt?"
" Ok, … ummm… how come you think that?" Faith asks.
" Because she has that same kinda dull, out of it look you had. Until you figured out what you really wanted to do." Kira smiles at her, " Why do you even think I'd be crazy enough to go along with his harebrained scheme of yours, anyway? Except I see how charged you are now?"
" It's not harebrained! It's at least… cat-brained!"
" Faith, Buffy needs something to believe in again. She's so… look, I took the liberty of calling Mr. Giles, and talking to him."
" You what?"
" I wanted the skinny on Buffy. I figured she was hurting, and that you'd need some help figuring it out. She's been working with him for the last year, and I figured if anybody knew what was going on with her, he would. Well, dear, it's been kinda dicey for the shrimp lately."
" Ummm… just a suggestion, Kira? Don't ever let her hear you call her that. She might be small, but she's strong … trust me, I know. And she really doesn't like being reminded of her stature… especially being compared to sea food. Got it?"
"Whatever. Anyway, blondette has been getting more and more withdrawn from things. She's been kind acting wacky, and when she heard Angel died? She kinda went AWOL. Giles was relieved, actually, to hear she was here. Seems she kind of returning to the mode she was in back when you're girlfriend raised her from the dead, " Kira shivers, " Uhhh… about that? Exactly how weird is that, anyway?"
Faith breaks out laughing. " Kira, sweetie? You better get used to weird. That's only the beginning of weird!"
Kira shrugs. " Anyway, we talked about it awhile, and Giles and I came to the same conclusion. Buffy needs to be needed. You know what I mean. Well, I guess we all need that to some extent. But she's been like carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders for a long time. Since she was seventeen. She needs to feel like she's part of something vital, important. She's very active girl, needs the physical stimulation of fighting or something like that. The council? Well, despite Buffy's and Giles' efforts, is beginning to slide back into its old, bureaucratic ways. Buffy's been getting more and more frustrated, and feeling less and less useful. That, along with learning about Angel, and some other stuff, seems to have pushed her close to the edge. She needs help. Help from someone who can understand where she's at, mentally and emotionally. Someone oh… like you?"
"What'm I supposed to do?" Faith shakes her head, " I'm no shrink."
" She doesn't need a therapist… well, ok, maybe a little. But mostly, she needs someone who can understand what she's feeling, what she's going through. Someone who can give her a help up. Not like charity… maybe more a kick in the ass to get back on track. Get it?"
" And that would do it? That'd help Buffy? Kicking her ass?" Faith grins, " Yeah, I could do that… ok, ok, I know. It's gotta be for the right reasons. She bugs the hell out of me, most of the time. But like it or not, she's been part of my life for a long time now. Even if she's a tight ass wound too tight prigette, I still kinda like her. Don't wanna see her go Looney tunes, ya know."
" Good, that's good. I think it's the right thing to do, don't you?"
" Yeah, I guess so," Faith shrugs, " Yeah, ok, it's the right thing to do." – So, why do I think I'm going to regret this?-
Ok, well, bonus. You gain a friend, " Kira adds, " Double bonus. Even if Buffy doesn't want to help with you and Willow, which I think she will, but even if not… don't you think it'll touch Willow's heart that you helped out Buffy?"
" Yeah… I can see that, " Faith says, " but that's not why I'm helping Buffy. I'm helping Buffy for her own sake."
" I said it was a bonus. Not the reason."
" 'K, just as long as we're clear here, " Faith says, " Ummm… so what do you think I should do?"
" Hey. Not the expert on Slayers, especially the itty-bitty variety. That's your department. You gotta figure it out, ya know?" Kira checks her watch, " Oh, will you look at the time? Gotta go. Gonna check on the workmen, then gotta few errands to run. Hey, good luck with Buffy!" Kira runs out of the office, leaving Faith alone, staring after her.
Faith stands in the office, for all the world feeling like she's been bamboozled. Again.
- God. Am I ever gonna learn?-
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Buffy sits on her bed, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping the throbber of a headache she's got will just go away.
-Stupid, Buffy. Stupid, stupid, oh, and did I mention? Stupid! Drinking never helps. Things are still shitty, and now I got this killer headache on top of it. God, why'd I even start last night?-
Buffy gets up, and goes to the mirror, checking out her face. – Ooo. Pretty. NOT! God, I look like I've been in a bar fight or something. Crap… I wasn't in a bar fight, was I? I can't remember much about last night after dropping off Connor. I know I was feeling pretty down, so I stopped for a drink or two.. or three. Anyway, after that I know I kinda made my way back here… oh yeah, raided the liquor cabinet. Stole a bottle of Scotch. God, did I finish that bottle? Shit! … No wonder my mouth feels like it's been invaded by demons…with really smelly feet. Gargled twice already, still taste it. Crap, how does Giles get that stuff down? Dunno, guess I did pretty good last night. God, look at my eyes. I've seen city road maps with fewer arteries running through them. And puffy? Crap, Puffy Buffy, that's me! This is not good, not at all good. Gotta lay off the booze, really. I mean it. Gotta do it.
Buffy walks back to the bed, and sits down. She resists the temptation to lay down. – Crap, never get up that way. Anyway, kinda useless. Who the hell decided to bring workmen in here at 5 am this morning? Where's the demon that's that cruel, huh? Gonna so chop off its head, and pound it into tiny bitty little pieces. You betcha I'm gonna do it. God, who the hell can sleep through that racket? Never mind it felt like every nail was being driven straight into my brain. Shit and shit howdy. Well, stupid, if you hadn't drunk yourself stupid last night, you wouldn't be so miserable today, would you?-
- I guess just hearing about Connor and Angel, what happened, just kinda bummed me out. Ok, is that really petty or what? But, I mean, I'm not like resentful. I just wish I could've been part of it. C'mon, Buffy, that's just stupid. He had his stuff to do, you had your stuff to do. Yeah, what stuff? Fighting the fight, Buffy, that's what you do. That's what he did. But why couldn't we've fought together? Why'd I send him away? Yeah, I know. Cookie dough. Not done baking. Blah, blah, oh so blah. Well, babe, done or not, it's over. He's gone. It's just not fair, you know? How long am I supposed to go on like this? What am I doing that's so fucking important, anyway? Rebuilding the council? Well, shoot howdy, like they really need me! It's all bureaucrats and bullshit. They don't listen to me, not really. If it weren't for Giles? They'd boot my ass faster than you can say" Watcher's Council".-
- Well, Buffy, you better figure it out. Connor's right. Not gonna be good for nothing or no one til I figure out what I want to do. God, I wish Angel were here. Even if he couldn't help me, he could hold me awhile. Make me feel safer… or something. That's no good, though. Not really. He can't hold you forever. You can't hide forever. Can I? Can't I hide like for a little while, even? I just wish I could…-
Buffy hears the door across the hall slam shut.- Will's room. What's going on there? Why the slamming… god, I don't need more slamming doors… or any noise!- Still, curious, Buffy gets up, and looks across the hall, and yeah, Willow's door is closed tight. Shrugging, she turns to go back in her room, but she hears something from the room. She pads over to the door, and knocks quietly. She waits, but gets no response. So, she knocks louder.
" Yeah…what is it? Kinda busy right now, " Willow's voice, sounding muffled, comes through the door.
" Hey, Will, it's me, Buffy. What's up? You ok?"
" Oh , hey, Buffy. Yeah, I'm fine, " Willow says, her voice sounding strange, "kinda busy right now."
" Can I come in, Will? Kinda jonesing to talk. I promise, won't get in your way, ok?"
" Buffy, really, it's not a good time. Come back later, ok?"
" Will, not ok. Something's up…what's going on?"
" Buffy, go away!"
" Sorry, Will." Buffy puts a little slayer strength on the door lock, and breaks it. She pushes open the door, and receives a little shock. Willow's room looks like a hurricane hit it. Things are everywhere. Her clothes seem to be in the general direction of the bed, where her suitcase is standing open. Willow is sitting on the bed, back to Buffy, hunched over. " Geeze, Will. What the heck happened in here?"
" Buffy? Are you deliberately being a moron?" Willow's voice is angry, and she's not turning around, " do the words, ' Go away ' escape your mental capacity?"
" Yeah guess they do when my friends are in trouble. Guess I'm stupid that way, you know?"
Willow raises her hand, as if to cast a spell. "Go away, Buffy, please…"
" No, don't use magic, Willow. If you want me to go, turn around and tell me to go, but don't just shove me away."
" Fine!" Willow stands up, and turns around. Her eyes are black. Buffy feels a little chill in her heart." Buffy? Go away!"
" Willow, what's up. Why're you so upset?" Buffy avoids mentioning the black eye issue." What can I do to help?"
" Buffy, you can't help, ok? I'm kind of tired, didn't get much sleep last night. Think you might know a reason for that?"
Buffy blushes, and hangs her head,
" Anyway, I'm trying to get packed, so I can catch my flight back to San Francisco."
" You're leaving? Now?" Buffy asks, puzzled, " I thought… well…"
"What? What'd you think, Buffy?" Willow says, impatiently.
" I just thought maybe we'd hang out for a couple of days. You know, like old times? Get in a little girl time…"
" Buffy, we're not in school anymore, you know. I can't just take time off to hang out. I've got a business to run. Some of us have responsibilities, you know." As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Willow realizes what she's said, and wishes she could take them back.
But it's too late. Buffy goes white, her expression going blank. She starts to back out of the room.
" Oh, god.. Buffy, I didn't mean…" Willow is all apologetic, trying to fix it.- Goddess, Will. Just stick the knife in her, ok?-
" No… no, I'm sorry, Will. Stupid me, I… yeah, I get it. You got important things to do. Gotcha. Hey, well…bye" Buffy turns and walks out.
" Buffy… Buffy!" Willow goes around the bed, following Buffy out. " Buffy…c'mon, I'm sorry…"
But Buffy is already back in her room, and the door is closed.- Aw, shoot. Willow? Who ever said you were smart? God, you can be so incredibly stupid sometimes!- Willow knocks on the door, but there's no response.
" Aw, c'mon, Buffy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything, really… please, open up!" Willow calls out through the door. She almost falls through the door when it opens suddenly, Buffy looking askance at her.
" Look, I got it, Will. You're busy, I understand. We'll catch up some other time. Don't sweat it, ok?" Buffy starts to close the door, but Willow pushes back on it.
"Buffy, please. I'm really sorry. I said something stupid, and I didn't mean it. Please, don't be mad at me… I don't want to lose all my friends." Her voice cracks.
" You sounded like you meant it," Buffy says softly, " I mean, I know I'm not like successful like you and Faith. I'm not doing anything important. Oh hell, I'm not doing anything, period. So, I get it, ok. You got stuff to do, so go ahead and do it. No big, ok?"
" Buffy… I was upset and I took it out on you. Not because I was upset with you. You just happened to be there. I love you, Buffy. You're my bestest friend. I don't want to lose you!"
"Well, I love you too, goof!" Buffy opens the door more, inviting Willow in, " just … well, ok, maybe I've been a little off lately. Ok, a lot off. But that doesn't change the fact that I care about you, and when you hurt, I'm hurting too. I wish you'd trust me enough to talk to me when you hurt, and not try to shut me out."
Willow, hit by the irony of the situation, starts to laugh. It's a sad, acknowledging laugh.
"What? What's so funny?" Buffy doesn't understand why Willow's laughing.
" Last night… we had a fight… Faith and I. We… well, we were looking for you, and I was doing a locating spell. But Faith didn't believe I was doing it right, because it kept showing you to be here. Then all the old stuff came back up, and…" Willow shakes her head, " I kinda said exactly what you just said to me. Well, not exactly, but pretty much the same meaning…" Willow grins ruefully, " guess sometimes, I should follow my own advice, huh?"
" Oh, Will. I didn't know you and Faith fought… crap… and I was the reason. God, I'm so sorry…"
" No, Buffy. You're not the reason. Don't think that. We would've fought if it had been over what time it was, you know? No, don't think you're responsible. You weren't"
"Is that why you're leaving? Because you fought?" Buffy asks, " because if it's the reason? Not good. I mean, you can make up over a fight. Don't let a fight like drive you apart, ok?" Buffy remembers Riley… and the fight that broke them up. How she wished she could take everything back.- Damn, and then he had to marry the perfect woman, whom even I kinda loved. DAMN!-
" No, Buffy, that's not it. I … I thought about what you said last night…"
" What I said?" Buffy strains to remember what she said. " Oh… oh… yeah, about Faith. Yeah. Ok, right, I got that part right… I know that!"
Willow smiles at Buffy's eagerness. " I did think a lot about it. Didn't sleep much, but did lots of thinking. So, earlier this morning? Went down to apologize to Faith. Maybe see if we couldn't at least talk. But, I'm sorry, Buffy. You really got it wrong." Willow's face falls a little.
" Huh?"
" Buffy, when I went down there… I saw Faith and that girl… Kira… yeah, her… I saw them … and the looked pretty intimate… they were in a clinch…” Willow's eyes start to tear up. She wipes at them, impatiently. " Dammit. I swore last night I wouldn't let it hurt anymore. I swore…" She shakes her head impatiently, and looks away.
" No…NO… that can't … that can't be right… they swore… they swore to me, they're just friends. I made them take a blood oath, and pinkie swear, and everything… they're just friends, I know it, Willow."
"Yeah, well, they were looking pretty friendly to me. Maybe a little too friendly, I'm thinking," Willow's lip begins to tremble. "Shit…dammit… I'm sorry, Buff… I gotta go." Willow rushes out, into her own room. The door slams after her.
Buffy sits there, stewing. Her expression hardens.
- No one fucks with my friends. Uh-uh. No way. No how.-
- Not while I'm breathing, they don't!-
Buffy stands, her aches and pains forgotten.
She marches out of her room towards the stairs.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kira Hearne is standing in the middle of the construction area, looking angry and frustrated. She's arguing with the construction foreman.
" You promised me. You told me on the phone that you could get the job done, on time, at the price we agreed to. Now you're telling me you can't do it? What's going on here?" Kira looks close to hitting the foreman.
"Look, lady. On the phone you told me minor damage. Minor damage, do you know what that means? Some broken pieces, maybe some repainting. Maybe a couple of holes in the wall. This isn't minor damage." The foreman waves his arms around at the lobby. " Some of the damage here is structural, on load bearing walls and beams. I can't rush that. I can't do a Mickey Mouse job on it. Not and meet code. I'm sorry, but there's no way I can meet that deadline, and do it right. Nobody can… nobody legit, anyway. So, you decide. I mean, we can quit now… it's up to you. We'll just bill you for the work we've done." He folds his arms over his chest. He's done.
" No way. No way you're gonna stop now. Uh-uh. You're finishing this job, at the price we agreed." Kira gets right into his face, " and brother, you better have good lawyers. Hear? You got no idea who you're dealing with. You haven't heard the last of this!" Kira stalks off a little, turns and faces the foreman, her arms folded over her chest. She's done, too. They stand there, glaring at each other.
At that moment, a very angry looking Buffy Summers storms down the stairs, and walks up to Kira.
" You , me. We gotta talk. NOW!" She stands in front of Kira, arms folded across her chest. Glaring at Kira.
Kira, looking irritated at the interruption, looks down at Buffy.
" Buffy, I really don't have time right now. I'm busy" She resumes her glare at the Foreman, who returns it.
" Make time." Buffy growls.
Kira ignores her, figuring she's off on some tangent, and she doesn’t need to be distracted. Buffy, not cottoning to being ignored, goes over, and grabs Kira's arm. She hooks it through her own, and turns toward the foreman.
" Would you excuse us, please? We need to talk. Why don't you go do what you're supposed to do, rather than standing around looking like an idiot?" Buffy glares at him, her jaw set.
The foreman, being glared at by both women, finally just turns, and walks back towards the crew. He makes some remark that ends with " women" , but he gets his men back to work.
" Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Buffy? I've got important things to do. I don't have time for your … ow… ow… OUCH". Buffy has grabbed Kira's hand, and has squeezed just enough to let her know who's steering the ship at the moment. She drags a protesting Kira out into the garden.
Kira, rubbing her hand, glares at the diminutive slayer. Her face is all frowns.
" Ok, Buffy, you got me out here. Now, this better be damned good, or I'm going to…"
"What? What're you going to do, Kira? Beat me up?" Buffy thrusts out her jaw. " Think you can, Kira?"
" Oh, right, itty-bitty. Start with the threats. "
" Listen, you overweight bean pole, I didn't start the threatening around here. Now shut up, and listen." Buffy walks towards and hops on top of the bench surrounding the fountain in the center of the garden. Now she's looking down on Kira. " What the hell exactly is going on between you and Faith, anyway?"
Kira looks beyond puzzled. "What the hell are you talking about, shrimp-o? There's nothing going on between me and Faith. We told you that, two days ago."
"Yuh- huh. That's what you told me, "Buffy nods affirmation, " Yet, my friend keeps catching you two acting all sweet on each other. So, I'm wondering, exactly what are you two up to, anyway? Oh, and by the way, don't like being made a fool of ! " Buffy glares down at her from her perch.
" Are you nuts, or just insane?" Kira looks at Buffy like both fit. "Faith and I are just friends. I know maybe friendship is a hard concept for you, but it doesn't involve ' acting sweet on each other' . So, either your friend is lying, or… well…"
" Don't even go there. She caught you two this morning, in the office, looking pretty damned friendly, " Buffy spits back at her, " so, wanna explain that one?"
" Friendly? What in hell are you babbling about?" Kira looks confused… then the light bulb goes on. " Oh my god… the hug? Do you mean the hug? Oh… did … was… did Willow see that?"
"Well, duh! Yeah, she saw it. She got really upset over it. Looked pretty darn clinchy to her. She's about ready to bolt. And I'm about ready to start knocking heads around. I don't like my friends, or me, being made the butt of a joke!"
Kira starts laughing. Not at Buffy, but at the absurdity of the whole situation. However, Buffy doesn't know that.
" Umm… what the hell is so funny?" Buffy glares at her.
" Huh? Oh, god, no… I'm not laughing at you, or Willow, Buffy…" Kira is still laughing a little bit." No…I'm laughing because it's so absurd. My god, I don't… look, I like Faith. I even love her… like a sister. But not like, in a romantic way. Ok, maybe early on, way back when, there was some interest, but frankly, I don't think of Faith that way. She's really not my type, if you catch my drift."
"Well, who died and made you goddess, huh, Kira? What's wrong with Faith? She's a very attractive woman."
" God, you're an odd duck, Buffy, " Kira laughs, " First you're down here, ready to rip me a new one if I'm messing with Faith. Now you're ready to rip me a knew one for NOT messing with Faith." Kira shakes her head, " Listen, Buffy, Willow got it all wrong. Me and Faith? Never happen. What DID happen is, and I don't know if it was because Faith was tired, or what, but she finally broke down and admitted why she broke with Willow. Or, let's say, I guessed pretty good at what the reason was. She started crying, and I comforted her. That's all."
" Faith, cry? Oh, come on. How dumb do I look, " Buffy says, " I've known Faith for a long time, and I've never seen her cry once. Get pissed, oh you bet. But cry… no way!"
" Buffy, exactly how well do you know Faith? You've never seen anything but the " Tough as nails, never give an inch, never admit anything bothers me" Faith. Isn't that so? But, Faith is human, too, and she can hurt, too. She just doesn't show it very much. Matter of fact, I've never seen her break like she did this morning. I must've hit something really painful inside, because she was crying like she lost her last friend. It was really, really heart wrenching to watch." Kira starts to tear up, thinking about it, " I've never seen that before, believe me."
Buffy sits stunned. The concept of Faith crying is like the sun turning green. It's just beyond belief. But, on the other hand, it's rather humanizing, too. To think that Faith, tough old Faith, could weep, just like the rest. She shakes her head, finding it hard to process.
" So, uhhh… there's no like…" Buffy waves her hand, " going on between you two?"
" No… God, no, Buffy." Kira swears," It's like I told you. I love her like a sister… nothing more."
Buffy's anger has dissipated. All that's left is a feeling of sadness. " God, Kira, what're we gonna do? I mean, about them? They're so obviously crazy about each other, but both are too stubborn and too damned proud to make the first move. It's going to be like pushing rocks through cement to get them together."
" I don't know. I know Faith can be stubborn. Does donkey ring a bell for you? But we got to try, you know? I mean, those two? They're like… two halves of the same whole. They belong together."
" Yeah, well, frankly, Kira. I don't have a clue. I mean, I can keep trying to bring Will around, but … " Buffy sighs, " She's got this idée fixe that you and Faith are an item. Don't even know how I'm gonna get her around that corner."
" Faith's just scared. Scared Willow's going to reject her. She's so fragile in the relationship department, that rejection to her is like death. She just can't deal. Real big trust issues going on there."
"I'm not even sure I should be messing around in here. I mean, me and relationships? Now, there's a joke for you. I've had like 3… no, ok 4 relationships in my time? Every one of them, the guy has left me. Boom. Like, left town left me… know what I mean? Ok, not exactly fair. The last guy died, helping to save the world. Guess I can't really say he left me… but still, when it comes to love? I so suck. Why'm I trying to fix their lives, when I only make a mess of my own. You know what I'm saying?"
Kira nods knowingly. " Well, at least, you didn't turn them gay."
Buffy's head swivels towards Kira. " Huh?"
"I was married for awhile. A short while. He was tall, handsome, really nice dresser… maybe I should've gotten suspicious there. It was ok at first. But then things got … well, strange. He got odd phone calls, he was working late. You know, classic stuff. I finally caught him one day when I came home early. He was in bed with his P.A. … his MALE P.A. It was then he told me that he'd discovered he was gay. Well, needless to say… that kinda ended the marriage." Kira has a rueful half-grin on her face.
" God, Kira… I don't know what to say. That's… that's…"
" Funny?" Kira deadpans… then bursts out laughing. " I can laugh now, " She chuckles, " it hurt pretty bad then. But God, why didn't I get a clue? Had a better fashion sense than I did… really good with colors… and those muscle mags he had around. I mean, he was really into fitness, so I didn't think about it… 'til later."
" Ok. I gotta admit, you beat me, " Buffy's laughing along with her, " Don't think any of my guys went gay."
Kira, relaxing after a nice laugh, pats Buffy on the shoulder," We're a pair, huh? Going to fix their lives, and we're sitting here like a couple bumps without a clue how to fix our own. Well, I can tell you one thing… for now, I'm off men."
"Off men? I mean, ok, I get the embarrassment of your … uhhh… husband… but off men? I mean… what're you gonna do when you get…itchy?"
" Scratch, baby, scratch. I mean, doesn't take a guy to scratch, you know." Kira arches a brow.
Buffy thinks about it a second, gets it, and immediately turns a lovely shade of red. Kira looks at her, amazement on her face.
" C'mon, Buffy… don't tell me you never… scratched before."
" Well, yeah, of course. But I mean… geeze … " Buffy feels her cheeks burning, " I mean, don't you miss the other stuff?"
" The other stuff? You mean like the grunting? Or the farting? Or… when they have the heavy beards, and don't shave before slap and tickle? Or when they don't gargle? Or all the hair? That looks like their wearing a fur coat to bed? No… well…ok… I'm being just a tad bitchy, grant you that. But right now, can really do without it. I got my little… helpers, and that's enough… for now."
" Helpers?" Buffy looks puzzled.
" You know… toys?" Kira gives her a sidelong glance.
" Oh." Buffy goes a little quiet, cheeks a bright cherry color now.
" Oh. My. God." Kira's barely able to keep from laughing, " You don't have any … anything?"
" Uhhh… no." Buffy replies, tiny wee little voice.
" My god… I didn't really believe it, but Faith was right about you!" Kira stares at Buffy like she's some exotic museum exhibit.
" Huh? Faith?" Buffy's brows furrow. " Exactly what did Faith say about me?"
" Oh. Uhhh… nothing, nothing really." Kira realizes she's crossed a line she shouldn't have even gotten close to.
Buffy stands up, walks in front of Kira, and glares down at her. Her mouth's corners have turned down.
" Oh, no. You don't start saying Faith's right about me, then not tell me what Faith said. C'mon, spill it!"
" Uhhh, " Kira stalls, knowing she's messed up, " Uhhh… well, she just said you were kinda… well, wound up too tight, and that you need … " She trails off.
" Oh, please, don't stop now. I gotta know what Dr. Faith figures - I – need ! "
" … oh… god… that someone needs to pull that cork outta you, and give you a really good…" Kira almost whispers the last word " … fuck". She suddenly realizes she hasn't inspected her shoes lately. She looks up surprised when she hears Buffy laughing.
" That's … Faith… for ya…" Buffy gasps out between guffaws, " figures everything can be… cured … with a good fuck." She's holding her stomach, she's laughing so hard.
" You're… you're not angry?" Kira asks.
" Oh, hell no, " Buffy sits down next to Kira, and leans against her. " God, it's not like the first time I've ever heard what Faith thinks I need. I just figured she would've come up with something else by now."
Kira starts laughing, catching it from Buffy, and soon the two of them are sitting there, leaning against each other, laughing like loonies. They're so caught up in it they don't realize they're not alone anymore.
" Hey, what're you two laughing about?" Faith asks, seeing Kira and Buffy nearly rolling on the ground.
They both look at Faith, and start laughing harder. They point at Faith, and nudge each other, and start laughing nearly hysterically. Faith, not at all understanding what's going on, just watches as Buffy and Kira laugh. - Oh, crap. Whatever Buffy's got is catching. She's turning Kira into a loon now, too. – She shakes her head in wonder at the two of them.
" Hey? Giggle twins? When you're done with your NutsoFest, think you could come in the lobby? Need a little help in here!" Faith, making a dismissive noise, turns and walks back inside.
It takes a while longer, but Kira and Buffy finally get it back under control, getting down to just the occasional giggle now and then. They avoid looking at each other, however, afraid another burst of laughter is likely if they do.
" So.. ummm… what's Faith talking about, needing help? I mean… I'm hoping she doesn't expect me to pick up a hammer and start doing construction. That didn't work out so well last time I tried it."
The two get up, and start for the lobby doors.
" Oh, no… nothing like that. It's just… well, I guess our guests have arrived," Kira says over her shoulder, as she enters the lobby ahead of Buffy.
" Guests?" Buffy replies, confused. – Guests? I didn't know Faith had more people coming.- Buffy follows Kira into the lobby.

A tall man stands at the lobby entrance, looking around at the construction going on. He's closing fast on 50, but looks younger. He has a full head of hair, though it's beginning to recede somewhat from his temples, and the dark hair is not shot through with some silver. He wears wire rimmed spectacles, and his trademark tweed suit.
It's been awhile since Rupert Giles has stood in the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel. He looks around, noting the changes that have taken place. - I have to admit, it seems Faith has indeed done a spectacular job renovating the old place. Wonder why the construction, however? Last time I talked with her, she said it was ready to go.- He steps down from the doorway, and makes his way toward the center of the lobby.
Buffy stands frozen at the doors leading to the garden. - Giles? What is HE doing here? He's supposed to be back in England, leading the council through some silly bureaucratic nonsense. Why's he here? Did Faith tell him I'm here?- Buffy eyes him warily. Ever since their falling out during the fight with the First, their relationship, while cordial, had definitely cooled off somewhat. She was no longer the student, eager to learn what knowledge he could impart, nor the surrogate daughter she'd once been. Giles, for his part, had retreated into his normal British reserve. Both had felt that wall that had popped up between them. Both had been unable to find away to get around that barrier.
Giles turns and sees Buffy standing at the garden door, and a small smile pulls at his lips. Despite their… rift… he nonetheless had been very worried when Buffy went AWOL 6 weeks ago. She'd called several times, so he was relieved she was alive, and ok… at least, mostly ok. But he'd spent more than one sleepless night worrying about her.
Buffy for her part, is torn. On the one hand, she has a strong impulse to run over and hug him tightly. She's missed him these past few weeks. She can't help feeling a strong affection for him, they've been through too much together not to. On the other hand, she's still harbors some resentment with his actions during and after the fight with The First. – He just can't accept that I've grown up. That I make my own decisions now, and that I need some freedom to do so without his 'advice', which strangely sound like lectures.- So, she stands at the doorway, not moving, unable to decide exactly how to react.
" Buffy, " Giles says, in his usual quiet way.
" Giles," Buffy replies, also softly.
It's then that things take an unexpected turn. Through the Lobby entrance a troop of girls appear, holding a variety of luggage. They look around, and all seem to start talking at once.
" So, is this our new place? I mean, is this the place we're going to live now?"
" Hey, it's not so bad. It's certainly better than that last dump we stayed in."
" I'm wondering, are we going to have to share again? If we have to share again, I'm not sleeping with Angela. I don't care what you all say, that girl sounds like a lumber mill when she snores… "
" Hey, what's going on? What're they building?"
" Is that the slayer? I mean… is that … what's her name? Buffy? Gee never thought I'd actually see her."
" Whoa. I'm tired of hotels, I'm telling you. I thought we were going to get a house this time…"
Buffy sees the girls trooping in, and all sorts of bad associations start up in her mind.
" Oh, no… no, no, no. Not again. Giles, tell me, not again! What the hell is going on around here?" Buffy looks panicked, and she starts to back towards the garden door. " Please, tell me this isn't happening!!!"
But before anyone can say anything, Buffy is out the door, and gone.
Giles, looking worried, starts after her. He's stopped before he can follow her , by Kira.
" What's up. What's gotten into her?" Kira asks, looking bewildered.
" The last time I showed up with a gaggle of girls in tow? We had an apocalypse." Giles says, as he makes his way out the garden door.
Kira, not understanding it at all, stands there, looking puzzled.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To be continued.
- 17
- 18
- 19
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Independence