ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,890
Reviews:
182
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Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,890
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
ILLUSIONS OF NORMALCY
CHAPTER 171 - ILLUSIONS OF NORMALCY
NOVEMBER 19, 2009
WEDNESDAY
4:00AM
Buffy felt a warm hand over hers, as she slowly awoke. Opening her eyes, she saw William asleep in a chair next to the bed. She stole her hand out from under his, and raised it to his head, her fingers resting lightly in the nest of unkempt hair. William stirred in his sleep, a soft breath escaping his mouth.
"Elizabeth," he said, as his eyes opened to see her watching him, "how are you feeling?"
"Better; a lot better, I think."
"Can I get you anything?" he asked, sitting up.
She asked for some water, and he brought her a fresh bottle, and gave her some of the Jell-O Clem had made.
"Can I do anything else for you?" William asked.
Buffy looked at him for a moment, but didn't say anything.
William tilted his head, smiling gently at her. "What is it, luv?"
"Would you...would you just hold me?" Buffy asked, in a small voice.
William's eyes softened, "Of course," he said, as he got into the bed next to her. He held out his arms, and she lay her head down on his chest.
"How's this?" William asked.
In answer, she sighed softly, wrapping her arm around his neck, and intertwined her legs with his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00AM
LOS ANGELES
“Here,” Dawn said, handing John the phone.
“I still don’t understand why you don’t call yourself. What would you do if I wasn’t here?”
Dawn looked at him with huge, doleful eyes. “I’d call. I just don’t think I can handle talking to William right now. I’m too upset with him.”
With a sigh, John put out his hand, taking the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00AM
JULIAN
William felt the warmth of her body next to his, before he was fully conscious. He shifted a bit, drawing her near. His eyes opened suddenly then he relaxed, seeing her there. He put his head down on hers, and wrinkled his brow. She was warm again. Not as hot as she’d been, but still warmer than normal.
Just as he was gently disentangling himself to go and get her some water and aspirin, he heard the phone ringing from the living room. He hurried to get it before it could wake her.
He spotted her phone on the table next to the couch, and answered it.
“Hello?”
“William? How’s Buffy?”
“Hello, John. She’s doing a lot better than yesterday, though it feels like she’s still is running a bit of a fever.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. Elizabeth’s still asleep. I just woke up, and she felt warm, so I was just on my way to get her some water and aspirin, when you rang.”
“I see. Well, if her temperature stays under 100 today, then I’d say that she’s on mend.”
“How long do you think that she’ll still be sick with this?”
“Hard to say, flu symptoms, even after the fever has gone, can last up to a week, or even longer. I’d say the worse of it is behind her, though.”
“Do you think...do you think that she’d be alright staying by herself by tomorrow?”
“If she’s still is getting better today, then I would say that wouldn’t be a problem at all.”
“What won’t be a problem,” Dawn asked.
“Good,” John said, holding up his hand.
“You’re not home to stay then, I take it?” John asked.
“He’s not staying?” Dawn hissed, at him in disbelief.
John motioned for her to be quiet.
William took a deep breath. “No,” he said, hesitating, “not right now. I’m going away for a while, in fact. I was supposed to be leaving tomorrow, but now I’m not sure; that’s why I asked.”
“Does Buffy know?”
“Not yet. That’s why I came up here, to talk to her, but with all that was happening...wasn’t exactly the right time, was it?”
“No, I agree,” John said.
“John, I was wondering if you and Dawn could look in on Elizabeth. Of course there’s Clem, but I’m sure she’d would feel a bit more comforted if her sister were here.”
“Yes, Dawn was already planning on coming,” John said, looking at Dawn. “Do you want her to come today?”
William thought about it for a few moments. On the one hand, he had missed Dawn fiercely; almost as much as he missed Elizabeth, and wanted to see her. On the other hand, if she came to Julian, knowing he was leaving - as she surely would - he would not only have to face Elizabeth and whatever her reaction was going to be, but Dawn’s as well.
“I think it might be better if she came in a day or two; after I’ve gone. I think we’ll be fine until then. That, and I don’t think Dawn thinks too highly of me right about now.”
John didn’t reply for a moment. “That may be for the best,” he said diplomatically, looking at Dawn.
“What’s for the best?” Dawn whispered, impatiently.
“Would you give her a message for me?” William said. “Tell her...tell Dawn that I love her, and that I haven’t forgotten about her, and that I’ll write to her; soon.”
“I’ll be sure to do that.”
“Thanks John. For everything.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck, William. Call if you need anything, okay?”
“I will.” William promised.
“Bye,” John said, hanging up.
“Good-bye, John,” William said, clicking the end button on Elizabeth’s cell phone.
He stood in the living room looking around. Glancing up at the mantle, he saw the remaining survivor of the two pots they’d bought in Mesa Verde was still there on the right side; the other he’d broken, he remembered sadly. He moved it from the side to the center, but somehow it didn’t look right, either. Sighing, he moved it back to where it had been.
William went into the kitchen, and filled the teapot with water, turning on the stove. Then he got a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and two aspirin, and started back to the bedroom.
He was almost to the door, when he heard her whimpering in her sleep, as she clutched at the pillows next to her. William quickly set down the water bottle, and aspirin, and lay down beside her.
“It’s alright, Elizabeth. I’m here,” he said, as he put his arms around her.
She made a strangled cry as her eyes opened, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “I thought you were...I’m sorry,” she said, into his chest.
“Why?”
She shook her head.
“I’m still here, luv,” William said softly, as if reading her mind, and stroked her hair soothingly.
Buffy gratefully nodded, biting back the impulse on the one hand to ask him for how long, and beg him not to leave her on the other, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t. She still had her pride; at least a bare smidgen of what was once her pride. It was just being ill, she told herself, that was making her all weepy. Finally, Buffy relaxed her grip on him, and lifted her face off his chest to look at him.
William’s hand strayed automatically to her face, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb, as he looked questioningly at her.
“How did you know to come? That I was sick?” Buffy finally asked, continuing the question she’d started yesterday.
William took a deep breath, then reached over to the table, grabbing the water bottle, and aspirin. “How about you take these for me first, okay?”
Buffy nodded, sitting up. “Yes, nurse.”
“Hey, could’ve at least made that doctor,” he said, giving her a wry look.
“It’s quite respectable to be a male nurse in this century you know, and the last one too, for that matter; just like there are female doctors,” she gently teased. “Leroy’s a nurse, remember?”
“Yeah, I do. Either one will do then, I guess. In any case, something good to be said about saving lives...” William said softly trailing off, a far away look in his eyes.
Buffy put her hand over his, and looked into his eyes.
“You did save lives; all of us...”
“Took ‘em, too, didn’t I?” William asked, an unexpected bitter edge coming into his voice. He quickly looked away, getting control of his emotions.
“Sorry, luv. Here, take your aspirin,” he said, handing them to her.
Buffy sighed, but did as he asked.
William took the almost empty water bottle from her, not quite meeting her gaze.
She lay back on her pillows waiting for him to talk. He cleared his throat.
“I didn’t know you were sick or needed me when I came yesterday, though I thank God that I came when I did,” William began thoughtfully, taking a quick look over at her.
Buffy nodded, “Go on.”
“I left Los Angeles yesterday morning, and went back to San Marcos because... to do a few things.”
“What things?”
William shook his head, “Doesn’t matter; main thing was coming here. Would’ve come sooner, had I known your school had been canceled. I’d been wanting to come here ever since I last saw you; since you’d come to the bar,” he said, taking a deep breath, and looking at her. “I just couldn’t leave it off where we left it. I...I wanted to...no, need to apologize to you. I’m sorry, Elizabeth; so terribly sorry about how I treated you that night. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d never spoke to me again; didn’t know that you even would.”
“But you came anyway,” Buffy said, reaching out and putting her hand on his face, his eyes lifted to meet hers.
“Had to, Elizabeth. Even if you didn’t talk to me, figured I owed you that much; owe you more...”
“Thank you,” Buffy said, solemnly. “Though, I think I might be a bit to blame for...”
“No!” William said adamantly, shaking his head. “You. Are. Not.”
They stared at each other for a moment, until she spoke.
“What about Ipso Facto?”
“I’m done with it,” he said, with a reassuring nod.
“And with her?” Buffy asked, scanning his face.
“Who her?”
“What’s her name?”
“Who? Miranda?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, softly.
“You thought...? Oh, Elizabeth, she’s just a friend, nothing more. There could never be...don’t you know that?” William asked, his blue eyes beseeching hers, and head tilted in that unique mannerism of his that always made her heart melt.
“I thought I did,” Buffy answered in small voice, “but I wasn’t so sure anymore.”
“Forgive me, Elizabeth,” William said, pulling her into his arms, tenderly kissing the top of her head. “I’ve been a sorry mess; but me and Miranda? Never!”
“I’m glad,” Buffy said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3:00PM
Buffy continued to improve all day. The temperature she had in the morning went away with the aspirin, and barely returned. Finally, after a nap in the afternoon that William insisted she take, she talked him into letting her out of bed. He agreed on the condition she stayed on the couch.
When she woke from her nap, she heard William's voice from the other room; it sounded agitated. Curious, she got up and went to the door and opened it a bit. She could see him talking on the phone.
"No, I can't. Not now," she heard him say, taking a deep breath. He seemed to be getting more and more agitated as he listened to the person on the other end of the line.
As he walked towards the dining room, and she could only hear snatches of his conversation.
"...Well, things have changed...”
“...I’m sorry you went to so much trouble...expense... pay you back.”
“...needs me here."
William walked back into the living room.
"Thank you. Yes, I'll let you know if I change my mind,” William finished, his voice sounding frustrated. She saw him flip closed the phone, then throw it onto the couch.
Buffy hurried back to bed, when she heard his footsteps approaching.
William opened the door, and smiled when he saw her open her eyes, “Hey sleepyhead.”
“Hey, yourself,” she said, returning his smile. “I thought I heard the phone. Who called?”
“Nobody important,” he said mildly.
“Oh,” she said trying not to appear hurt by his evasive answer.
“Really, nothing for you to be concerned about, Elizabeth,” he said walking over to the bed, and sat down on it’s edge.
“Speaking of phone calls, Mrs. Carpello called while you were napping. She said to tell you to call her when you feel up to it, and wished you a speedy recovery. Oh, and that school has been canceled for the rest of the week, but if you needed more time, then that was fine.”
“Thanks. Bet she was surprised to hear your voice, huh?”
“Yeah, think she was, but she didn’t make a deal of it, other than to ask how I had been doing; that sort of thing.”
Buffy nodded, smiling inwardly at her boss’ tactfulness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Well, here it is,” William said, as he came into the living room, carrying the painting she’d asked him to bring down from the attic.
“Thanks. It’s lovely.”
“You really like it?” William asked, a slight blush coloring his cheeks, though he couldn’t help being pleased.
“I really do, it’s wonderful. It’s also the only thing that kept me from roasting alive up there.”
“How’s that?”
“Looking at the lake, and imagining the feel of the water; that sort of thing.”
William laughed softly, “Glad it was good for something then, yeah?”
Buffy nodded.
William sat down on the chair across from the couch, with the picture on the floor between his legs, facing him. “I had planned on giving it to you when we came back from holiday,” he said, looking up at her sadly.
“I figured it must have been something like that,” Buffy said.
“You were out shopping for some last minute items for our trip, when I came home with it that day. I remember I felt quite pleased with myself that I’d finally finished it,” he said quietly. “I came home that afternoon, and started looking all around the house, looking for a good hiding spot; that’s when I discovered the attic.
“I remember that day, I called you and you sounded so...Oh.”
William looked over at her, nodding. “Yeah. Discovered the picture of my mum, and of him and Dru, and the one you called Darla, too that day. And all the others drawings.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you, I should’ve...” Buffy said, struggling to sit up.
“I didn’t know what to make of it,” he continued, as though he hadn’t heard her. “Couldn’t figure out why I would’ve written dates on the backs of the pictures that made no sense at all. Even thought that maybe there had been another person with my name from a long time ago, or that I’d dated it that way, just so it would seem like it was old. Of course, that made even less sense,” he let out a small, strange sounding laugh.
He shook his head to clear it, then looked at her, and saw her hastily wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to drag all that up; just seeing the picture made me recall...” he cleared his throat. “But you really like it?”
“I love it; it’s beautiful,” she said, smiling reassuringly.
“Thanks...I’m glad. So, where do you want it?”
“Could you hang it above the bed? No, wait, how about on the wall across from the bed? That way I can look at it when I’m lying in bed.”
“Sure,” he said, going to get a hammer and nail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5:00PM
“You getting chills again?” William asked, concerned, as he caught Buffy pulling the throw around her.
“No. Really, I’m not,” she said, seeing the doubt in his eyes. “The room’s just a bit chilly is all.”
She could see him visibly relax. “Yeah, it is a might. Are there any logs on the porch?” he asked, looking at the empty fireplace.
“Yeah, Clem stacked some out there. Why? Are you going to build a fire?"
"I was thinking about it. That alright?"
"That’d be nice,” she said smiling at him.
“While you’re doing that, I could warm up some soup for us. Didn’t you say Clem brought some over?”
He shook his head, “No, you stay where you’re at; you’re supposed to be resting.”
“I’m perfectly capable of standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot of soup; I’m not that feeble, you know,” she argued, rolling her eyes at him.
William walked over to her, and knelt down in front of the couch, resting his arms on her legs. He took hold of her hands. “I know that, luv. Just want to you to take it easy, okay? You had a bad spell. Don’t want to see you have a relapse.”
Buffy softened at his words. “I know, I just...” she lost herself in the moment, as they stared in each other’s eyes, in a way that they hadn’t for a long time.
The moment passed, and William released her hands, and started to stand up. Buffy put her hand on his face, stopping him. “Thank you.”
He cleared his throat. “You just stay on the couch while I make a fire. Then, I’ll go warm up the soup.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7:00PM
They’d spent the rest of the day in the living room. It felt good to be out of the sick bed, even if William kept her from doing anything more than lying on the couch the whole time.
After dinner, he’d asked her if she’d read any more of the last book that they’d taken turns reading to each other during the summer.
Buffy shook her head, not telling him that it had been too painful for her to even consider finishing it up by herself. It had been their thing. Without that, the story on its own held no interest for her, even if it was a good one.
“I think it’s your turn to read,” she suggested, coyly.
“Is it now?” William teased back, eyebrows arching in mock disbelief. “Thought it was yours. However, seeing as you’re all sickly, I guess I’ll take your turn. That’ll mean you owe me two. How’s that?”
“That’s fair,” Buffy said lightly. Inwardly her heart skipped a beat, over the future reference to her owing him the next two readings. She took it as a hopeful sign that William planned on staying.
William agreed to sit on the couch, as long as she still lay down. Buffy reached over and turned on the light next to the couch as he began to read.
She had curled up so that he would have room to sit, but he patted his lap, (without missing a syllable), and she stretched out. She would’ve rather laid her head on his lap like she used to, but this was good. Maybe better even, as it gave her a chance to study William’s face unabashedly as he read, rather than looking at the dust cover of the book.
“Want me to continue?” William asked, when he reached the end of the chapter.
“Please,” she said. Listening to his low, melodious voice again was the best balm of all. Just the mere normalcy of it, even if it was a temporary illusion of normalcy, was better than any heart-wrenching dreams, or daydreams she’d had of his returning to her had been.
“Well, now I think you’re in it for three,” William said, winking at her when he’d finally closed the book. He reached over and took a swallow of the soda he had poured himself.
“It’ll be my pleasure, just as soon as I’m up to snuff, or capable of talking without coughing for more than two minutes,” she replied, grinning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How’s this?” William asked holding up Sleepless in Seattle on DVD, knowing it was one her favorites.
“It’s okay with me, but what about you? Wouldn’t you rather watch something you like better?”
“I like it, too,” William said, popping it into the DVD player, thus ending the debate.
He sat down on the floor in front of the couch, and leaned back, as they began watching the movie.
It had been so long since she’d seen William really laugh that when he did, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. Buffy’s hand strayed up to his hair, her fingers running through the waves of blonde hair. For a moment, she thought she felt him stiffen, but then it was gone; leaving her to wonder if she’d imagined it, or if it was something she’d just half-expected him to do. Still, since he’d been at the house, he’d been nothing but warm and caring towards her. It almost made her glad she’d gotten sick, if only to allow them to skip over the pain of their last reunion.
A moment later, she felt him lean back into her hand, as her fingers massaged his scalp.
“Feels nice,” he murmured appreciatively, over his shoulder.
“Good,” she said, then asked. “When did you do it?”
“Do what?” William asked, glancing back at her.
“Dye your hair?”
William pushed the pause button on the remote before answering. “About a month ago, maybe a little longer. Was in a drug store, and spotted the damned thing in the aisle. Not quite sure what possessed me to buy it, but I do know I was drunk when I did the deed, “ he said, rolling his eyes.
“Must’ve been a shock the next morning, huh?”
“You have no idea,” he said. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“No, but I can imagine. That must’ve been some shock.”
He nodded, vigorously.
“And the coat? When did you get that?”
“Around the same time; afterwards. At a fireman’s rummage sale, actually. Just sort of stumbled onto it, while I was there. It was a good price,” he added, with a shrug.
“It looks a lot like your old one,” Buffy said.
“If you say so. The only time I remember seeing a picture of it was when you showing me that picture I drew of us getting married,” William said. He glanced at her just in time to see the flash of pain in her eyes, then quickly looked away, realizing just what he’d brought up.
Besides, it wasn’t completely true. He’d seen enough of himself in his nightmares to know that the coat he’d been drawn to, was a close approximation of the real thing.
“What is it with you and long black coats?” Buffy asked, mildly, trying to make a joke of the suddenly tense situation.
“I don’t know, luv. Costume, I guess. Made me feel different when I wore it, stronger somehow. Think I needed that for a while.”
“And now?” Buffy gently asked.
He shrugged.
“You are strong, William.”
He shook his head. “How can you possibly say that with everything you know?” he asked, incredulous. Yet when he looked into her eyes, he saw in them, only her belief in him.
“It is precisely because I know you, that I can say that,” she replied with conviction.
For the briefest moment, he looked at her with something like awe, and he sat up a little straighter. “I am trying to be, Elizabeth,” William said, clearing his throat.
“I know, and that’s all anyone can...”
“Let’s just watch the movie now,” he said, breaking off the moment, as he hit the play button.
“Okay,” Buffy agreed, afraid to push him anymore. As it was, he’d opened up to her more than he had for a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They were about half way through the movie, when William made a small grunting noise. “What’s wrong?” Buffy asked
“Nothing, just trying to get comfortable,” William said, trying to shift his weight to a different position.
“Why don’t you just come up here?”
“Because, I want you to stay put.”
“Well, I could still do that, and so could you,” she said, pointing to behind her.
He looked skeptical.
“It’s not like we both can’t fit on this couch, we have before. I mean, unless you’re afraid to catch the flu from me.”
“A bit late to worry on that count,” he said, getting up rather stiffly. “I’ll take my chances.”
She moved forward, and he shimmied in behind her, putting one arm under her neck, and the other over her.
Buffy snuggled back against him, as he intertwined her fingers with his, and they came to rest between her breasts. She moved her rear end up against William a little, and he pushed forward in turn. Gently, they rocked back and forth against each other a few times. Not that either thought of it as a prelude to sex, even though it was evident that he had an erection. Both recognized that under different circumstances, it very likely would have ended up that way, but on this night it was more about the comfortable way that lovers are with each other; a way for their bodies to respond to each other and say hello.
Although he recognized this fact, William was having trouble keeping his mind on the movie. Between the comforting smell of her vanilla scented hair next to his face, and her warm, yielding body rubbing up against him in all the right places, he was definitely distracted.
The little vixen!
After a few, and becoming-painfully-distracting-minutes, he forced himself to still his body, and tried to force his concentration back to the movie. The effort and the emotionally exhausting past few days caught up with him, and his eyelids grew heavy.
Buffy also struggled to keep the movie in focus, absentmindedly stroking his arm, as her body’s heightened senses, reminded her of how well they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle. That, and all the other corny cliches which came to mind.
The sound of a soft snore over her shoulder brought her mind back to the present. Turning her head, she saw his eyes were closed. Smiling contentedly, Buffy turned off the TV, and lay watching the flames dancing in the fireplace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11:00PM
Opening his eyes as he lay next to Elizabeth on the couch, for a few moments, he forgot all about the past few months, and for the first time in a long time he felt happy and content. Even when the memories returned a moment later, he still felt a sense of stoicism. He closed his eyes again, feeling her next to him, and wondered if he could possibly stay; letting the chips fall where they may, and letting the past stay there. He could try, he told himself. He could stay; they could go on with their lives. He would put everything out of his mind, and take care of her, love her, work, raise a family...
He opened his eyes, gazing at her with tenderness. Carefully he rose, and made sure the fire was out altogether, before gently gathering her in his arms and carrying her to bed.
END CHAPTER 171
NOVEMBER 19, 2009
WEDNESDAY
4:00AM
Buffy felt a warm hand over hers, as she slowly awoke. Opening her eyes, she saw William asleep in a chair next to the bed. She stole her hand out from under his, and raised it to his head, her fingers resting lightly in the nest of unkempt hair. William stirred in his sleep, a soft breath escaping his mouth.
"Elizabeth," he said, as his eyes opened to see her watching him, "how are you feeling?"
"Better; a lot better, I think."
"Can I get you anything?" he asked, sitting up.
She asked for some water, and he brought her a fresh bottle, and gave her some of the Jell-O Clem had made.
"Can I do anything else for you?" William asked.
Buffy looked at him for a moment, but didn't say anything.
William tilted his head, smiling gently at her. "What is it, luv?"
"Would you...would you just hold me?" Buffy asked, in a small voice.
William's eyes softened, "Of course," he said, as he got into the bed next to her. He held out his arms, and she lay her head down on his chest.
"How's this?" William asked.
In answer, she sighed softly, wrapping her arm around his neck, and intertwined her legs with his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00AM
LOS ANGELES
“Here,” Dawn said, handing John the phone.
“I still don’t understand why you don’t call yourself. What would you do if I wasn’t here?”
Dawn looked at him with huge, doleful eyes. “I’d call. I just don’t think I can handle talking to William right now. I’m too upset with him.”
With a sigh, John put out his hand, taking the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00AM
JULIAN
William felt the warmth of her body next to his, before he was fully conscious. He shifted a bit, drawing her near. His eyes opened suddenly then he relaxed, seeing her there. He put his head down on hers, and wrinkled his brow. She was warm again. Not as hot as she’d been, but still warmer than normal.
Just as he was gently disentangling himself to go and get her some water and aspirin, he heard the phone ringing from the living room. He hurried to get it before it could wake her.
He spotted her phone on the table next to the couch, and answered it.
“Hello?”
“William? How’s Buffy?”
“Hello, John. She’s doing a lot better than yesterday, though it feels like she’s still is running a bit of a fever.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. Elizabeth’s still asleep. I just woke up, and she felt warm, so I was just on my way to get her some water and aspirin, when you rang.”
“I see. Well, if her temperature stays under 100 today, then I’d say that she’s on mend.”
“How long do you think that she’ll still be sick with this?”
“Hard to say, flu symptoms, even after the fever has gone, can last up to a week, or even longer. I’d say the worse of it is behind her, though.”
“Do you think...do you think that she’d be alright staying by herself by tomorrow?”
“If she’s still is getting better today, then I would say that wouldn’t be a problem at all.”
“What won’t be a problem,” Dawn asked.
“Good,” John said, holding up his hand.
“You’re not home to stay then, I take it?” John asked.
“He’s not staying?” Dawn hissed, at him in disbelief.
John motioned for her to be quiet.
William took a deep breath. “No,” he said, hesitating, “not right now. I’m going away for a while, in fact. I was supposed to be leaving tomorrow, but now I’m not sure; that’s why I asked.”
“Does Buffy know?”
“Not yet. That’s why I came up here, to talk to her, but with all that was happening...wasn’t exactly the right time, was it?”
“No, I agree,” John said.
“John, I was wondering if you and Dawn could look in on Elizabeth. Of course there’s Clem, but I’m sure she’d would feel a bit more comforted if her sister were here.”
“Yes, Dawn was already planning on coming,” John said, looking at Dawn. “Do you want her to come today?”
William thought about it for a few moments. On the one hand, he had missed Dawn fiercely; almost as much as he missed Elizabeth, and wanted to see her. On the other hand, if she came to Julian, knowing he was leaving - as she surely would - he would not only have to face Elizabeth and whatever her reaction was going to be, but Dawn’s as well.
“I think it might be better if she came in a day or two; after I’ve gone. I think we’ll be fine until then. That, and I don’t think Dawn thinks too highly of me right about now.”
John didn’t reply for a moment. “That may be for the best,” he said diplomatically, looking at Dawn.
“What’s for the best?” Dawn whispered, impatiently.
“Would you give her a message for me?” William said. “Tell her...tell Dawn that I love her, and that I haven’t forgotten about her, and that I’ll write to her; soon.”
“I’ll be sure to do that.”
“Thanks John. For everything.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck, William. Call if you need anything, okay?”
“I will.” William promised.
“Bye,” John said, hanging up.
“Good-bye, John,” William said, clicking the end button on Elizabeth’s cell phone.
He stood in the living room looking around. Glancing up at the mantle, he saw the remaining survivor of the two pots they’d bought in Mesa Verde was still there on the right side; the other he’d broken, he remembered sadly. He moved it from the side to the center, but somehow it didn’t look right, either. Sighing, he moved it back to where it had been.
William went into the kitchen, and filled the teapot with water, turning on the stove. Then he got a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and two aspirin, and started back to the bedroom.
He was almost to the door, when he heard her whimpering in her sleep, as she clutched at the pillows next to her. William quickly set down the water bottle, and aspirin, and lay down beside her.
“It’s alright, Elizabeth. I’m here,” he said, as he put his arms around her.
She made a strangled cry as her eyes opened, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “I thought you were...I’m sorry,” she said, into his chest.
“Why?”
She shook her head.
“I’m still here, luv,” William said softly, as if reading her mind, and stroked her hair soothingly.
Buffy gratefully nodded, biting back the impulse on the one hand to ask him for how long, and beg him not to leave her on the other, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t. She still had her pride; at least a bare smidgen of what was once her pride. It was just being ill, she told herself, that was making her all weepy. Finally, Buffy relaxed her grip on him, and lifted her face off his chest to look at him.
William’s hand strayed automatically to her face, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb, as he looked questioningly at her.
“How did you know to come? That I was sick?” Buffy finally asked, continuing the question she’d started yesterday.
William took a deep breath, then reached over to the table, grabbing the water bottle, and aspirin. “How about you take these for me first, okay?”
Buffy nodded, sitting up. “Yes, nurse.”
“Hey, could’ve at least made that doctor,” he said, giving her a wry look.
“It’s quite respectable to be a male nurse in this century you know, and the last one too, for that matter; just like there are female doctors,” she gently teased. “Leroy’s a nurse, remember?”
“Yeah, I do. Either one will do then, I guess. In any case, something good to be said about saving lives...” William said softly trailing off, a far away look in his eyes.
Buffy put her hand over his, and looked into his eyes.
“You did save lives; all of us...”
“Took ‘em, too, didn’t I?” William asked, an unexpected bitter edge coming into his voice. He quickly looked away, getting control of his emotions.
“Sorry, luv. Here, take your aspirin,” he said, handing them to her.
Buffy sighed, but did as he asked.
William took the almost empty water bottle from her, not quite meeting her gaze.
She lay back on her pillows waiting for him to talk. He cleared his throat.
“I didn’t know you were sick or needed me when I came yesterday, though I thank God that I came when I did,” William began thoughtfully, taking a quick look over at her.
Buffy nodded, “Go on.”
“I left Los Angeles yesterday morning, and went back to San Marcos because... to do a few things.”
“What things?”
William shook his head, “Doesn’t matter; main thing was coming here. Would’ve come sooner, had I known your school had been canceled. I’d been wanting to come here ever since I last saw you; since you’d come to the bar,” he said, taking a deep breath, and looking at her. “I just couldn’t leave it off where we left it. I...I wanted to...no, need to apologize to you. I’m sorry, Elizabeth; so terribly sorry about how I treated you that night. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d never spoke to me again; didn’t know that you even would.”
“But you came anyway,” Buffy said, reaching out and putting her hand on his face, his eyes lifted to meet hers.
“Had to, Elizabeth. Even if you didn’t talk to me, figured I owed you that much; owe you more...”
“Thank you,” Buffy said, solemnly. “Though, I think I might be a bit to blame for...”
“No!” William said adamantly, shaking his head. “You. Are. Not.”
They stared at each other for a moment, until she spoke.
“What about Ipso Facto?”
“I’m done with it,” he said, with a reassuring nod.
“And with her?” Buffy asked, scanning his face.
“Who her?”
“What’s her name?”
“Who? Miranda?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, softly.
“You thought...? Oh, Elizabeth, she’s just a friend, nothing more. There could never be...don’t you know that?” William asked, his blue eyes beseeching hers, and head tilted in that unique mannerism of his that always made her heart melt.
“I thought I did,” Buffy answered in small voice, “but I wasn’t so sure anymore.”
“Forgive me, Elizabeth,” William said, pulling her into his arms, tenderly kissing the top of her head. “I’ve been a sorry mess; but me and Miranda? Never!”
“I’m glad,” Buffy said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3:00PM
Buffy continued to improve all day. The temperature she had in the morning went away with the aspirin, and barely returned. Finally, after a nap in the afternoon that William insisted she take, she talked him into letting her out of bed. He agreed on the condition she stayed on the couch.
When she woke from her nap, she heard William's voice from the other room; it sounded agitated. Curious, she got up and went to the door and opened it a bit. She could see him talking on the phone.
"No, I can't. Not now," she heard him say, taking a deep breath. He seemed to be getting more and more agitated as he listened to the person on the other end of the line.
As he walked towards the dining room, and she could only hear snatches of his conversation.
"...Well, things have changed...”
“...I’m sorry you went to so much trouble...expense... pay you back.”
“...needs me here."
William walked back into the living room.
"Thank you. Yes, I'll let you know if I change my mind,” William finished, his voice sounding frustrated. She saw him flip closed the phone, then throw it onto the couch.
Buffy hurried back to bed, when she heard his footsteps approaching.
William opened the door, and smiled when he saw her open her eyes, “Hey sleepyhead.”
“Hey, yourself,” she said, returning his smile. “I thought I heard the phone. Who called?”
“Nobody important,” he said mildly.
“Oh,” she said trying not to appear hurt by his evasive answer.
“Really, nothing for you to be concerned about, Elizabeth,” he said walking over to the bed, and sat down on it’s edge.
“Speaking of phone calls, Mrs. Carpello called while you were napping. She said to tell you to call her when you feel up to it, and wished you a speedy recovery. Oh, and that school has been canceled for the rest of the week, but if you needed more time, then that was fine.”
“Thanks. Bet she was surprised to hear your voice, huh?”
“Yeah, think she was, but she didn’t make a deal of it, other than to ask how I had been doing; that sort of thing.”
Buffy nodded, smiling inwardly at her boss’ tactfulness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Well, here it is,” William said, as he came into the living room, carrying the painting she’d asked him to bring down from the attic.
“Thanks. It’s lovely.”
“You really like it?” William asked, a slight blush coloring his cheeks, though he couldn’t help being pleased.
“I really do, it’s wonderful. It’s also the only thing that kept me from roasting alive up there.”
“How’s that?”
“Looking at the lake, and imagining the feel of the water; that sort of thing.”
William laughed softly, “Glad it was good for something then, yeah?”
Buffy nodded.
William sat down on the chair across from the couch, with the picture on the floor between his legs, facing him. “I had planned on giving it to you when we came back from holiday,” he said, looking up at her sadly.
“I figured it must have been something like that,” Buffy said.
“You were out shopping for some last minute items for our trip, when I came home with it that day. I remember I felt quite pleased with myself that I’d finally finished it,” he said quietly. “I came home that afternoon, and started looking all around the house, looking for a good hiding spot; that’s when I discovered the attic.
“I remember that day, I called you and you sounded so...Oh.”
William looked over at her, nodding. “Yeah. Discovered the picture of my mum, and of him and Dru, and the one you called Darla, too that day. And all the others drawings.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you, I should’ve...” Buffy said, struggling to sit up.
“I didn’t know what to make of it,” he continued, as though he hadn’t heard her. “Couldn’t figure out why I would’ve written dates on the backs of the pictures that made no sense at all. Even thought that maybe there had been another person with my name from a long time ago, or that I’d dated it that way, just so it would seem like it was old. Of course, that made even less sense,” he let out a small, strange sounding laugh.
He shook his head to clear it, then looked at her, and saw her hastily wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to drag all that up; just seeing the picture made me recall...” he cleared his throat. “But you really like it?”
“I love it; it’s beautiful,” she said, smiling reassuringly.
“Thanks...I’m glad. So, where do you want it?”
“Could you hang it above the bed? No, wait, how about on the wall across from the bed? That way I can look at it when I’m lying in bed.”
“Sure,” he said, going to get a hammer and nail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5:00PM
“You getting chills again?” William asked, concerned, as he caught Buffy pulling the throw around her.
“No. Really, I’m not,” she said, seeing the doubt in his eyes. “The room’s just a bit chilly is all.”
She could see him visibly relax. “Yeah, it is a might. Are there any logs on the porch?” he asked, looking at the empty fireplace.
“Yeah, Clem stacked some out there. Why? Are you going to build a fire?"
"I was thinking about it. That alright?"
"That’d be nice,” she said smiling at him.
“While you’re doing that, I could warm up some soup for us. Didn’t you say Clem brought some over?”
He shook his head, “No, you stay where you’re at; you’re supposed to be resting.”
“I’m perfectly capable of standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot of soup; I’m not that feeble, you know,” she argued, rolling her eyes at him.
William walked over to her, and knelt down in front of the couch, resting his arms on her legs. He took hold of her hands. “I know that, luv. Just want to you to take it easy, okay? You had a bad spell. Don’t want to see you have a relapse.”
Buffy softened at his words. “I know, I just...” she lost herself in the moment, as they stared in each other’s eyes, in a way that they hadn’t for a long time.
The moment passed, and William released her hands, and started to stand up. Buffy put her hand on his face, stopping him. “Thank you.”
He cleared his throat. “You just stay on the couch while I make a fire. Then, I’ll go warm up the soup.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7:00PM
They’d spent the rest of the day in the living room. It felt good to be out of the sick bed, even if William kept her from doing anything more than lying on the couch the whole time.
After dinner, he’d asked her if she’d read any more of the last book that they’d taken turns reading to each other during the summer.
Buffy shook her head, not telling him that it had been too painful for her to even consider finishing it up by herself. It had been their thing. Without that, the story on its own held no interest for her, even if it was a good one.
“I think it’s your turn to read,” she suggested, coyly.
“Is it now?” William teased back, eyebrows arching in mock disbelief. “Thought it was yours. However, seeing as you’re all sickly, I guess I’ll take your turn. That’ll mean you owe me two. How’s that?”
“That’s fair,” Buffy said lightly. Inwardly her heart skipped a beat, over the future reference to her owing him the next two readings. She took it as a hopeful sign that William planned on staying.
William agreed to sit on the couch, as long as she still lay down. Buffy reached over and turned on the light next to the couch as he began to read.
She had curled up so that he would have room to sit, but he patted his lap, (without missing a syllable), and she stretched out. She would’ve rather laid her head on his lap like she used to, but this was good. Maybe better even, as it gave her a chance to study William’s face unabashedly as he read, rather than looking at the dust cover of the book.
“Want me to continue?” William asked, when he reached the end of the chapter.
“Please,” she said. Listening to his low, melodious voice again was the best balm of all. Just the mere normalcy of it, even if it was a temporary illusion of normalcy, was better than any heart-wrenching dreams, or daydreams she’d had of his returning to her had been.
“Well, now I think you’re in it for three,” William said, winking at her when he’d finally closed the book. He reached over and took a swallow of the soda he had poured himself.
“It’ll be my pleasure, just as soon as I’m up to snuff, or capable of talking without coughing for more than two minutes,” she replied, grinning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How’s this?” William asked holding up Sleepless in Seattle on DVD, knowing it was one her favorites.
“It’s okay with me, but what about you? Wouldn’t you rather watch something you like better?”
“I like it, too,” William said, popping it into the DVD player, thus ending the debate.
He sat down on the floor in front of the couch, and leaned back, as they began watching the movie.
It had been so long since she’d seen William really laugh that when he did, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. Buffy’s hand strayed up to his hair, her fingers running through the waves of blonde hair. For a moment, she thought she felt him stiffen, but then it was gone; leaving her to wonder if she’d imagined it, or if it was something she’d just half-expected him to do. Still, since he’d been at the house, he’d been nothing but warm and caring towards her. It almost made her glad she’d gotten sick, if only to allow them to skip over the pain of their last reunion.
A moment later, she felt him lean back into her hand, as her fingers massaged his scalp.
“Feels nice,” he murmured appreciatively, over his shoulder.
“Good,” she said, then asked. “When did you do it?”
“Do what?” William asked, glancing back at her.
“Dye your hair?”
William pushed the pause button on the remote before answering. “About a month ago, maybe a little longer. Was in a drug store, and spotted the damned thing in the aisle. Not quite sure what possessed me to buy it, but I do know I was drunk when I did the deed, “ he said, rolling his eyes.
“Must’ve been a shock the next morning, huh?”
“You have no idea,” he said. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“No, but I can imagine. That must’ve been some shock.”
He nodded, vigorously.
“And the coat? When did you get that?”
“Around the same time; afterwards. At a fireman’s rummage sale, actually. Just sort of stumbled onto it, while I was there. It was a good price,” he added, with a shrug.
“It looks a lot like your old one,” Buffy said.
“If you say so. The only time I remember seeing a picture of it was when you showing me that picture I drew of us getting married,” William said. He glanced at her just in time to see the flash of pain in her eyes, then quickly looked away, realizing just what he’d brought up.
Besides, it wasn’t completely true. He’d seen enough of himself in his nightmares to know that the coat he’d been drawn to, was a close approximation of the real thing.
“What is it with you and long black coats?” Buffy asked, mildly, trying to make a joke of the suddenly tense situation.
“I don’t know, luv. Costume, I guess. Made me feel different when I wore it, stronger somehow. Think I needed that for a while.”
“And now?” Buffy gently asked.
He shrugged.
“You are strong, William.”
He shook his head. “How can you possibly say that with everything you know?” he asked, incredulous. Yet when he looked into her eyes, he saw in them, only her belief in him.
“It is precisely because I know you, that I can say that,” she replied with conviction.
For the briefest moment, he looked at her with something like awe, and he sat up a little straighter. “I am trying to be, Elizabeth,” William said, clearing his throat.
“I know, and that’s all anyone can...”
“Let’s just watch the movie now,” he said, breaking off the moment, as he hit the play button.
“Okay,” Buffy agreed, afraid to push him anymore. As it was, he’d opened up to her more than he had for a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They were about half way through the movie, when William made a small grunting noise. “What’s wrong?” Buffy asked
“Nothing, just trying to get comfortable,” William said, trying to shift his weight to a different position.
“Why don’t you just come up here?”
“Because, I want you to stay put.”
“Well, I could still do that, and so could you,” she said, pointing to behind her.
He looked skeptical.
“It’s not like we both can’t fit on this couch, we have before. I mean, unless you’re afraid to catch the flu from me.”
“A bit late to worry on that count,” he said, getting up rather stiffly. “I’ll take my chances.”
She moved forward, and he shimmied in behind her, putting one arm under her neck, and the other over her.
Buffy snuggled back against him, as he intertwined her fingers with his, and they came to rest between her breasts. She moved her rear end up against William a little, and he pushed forward in turn. Gently, they rocked back and forth against each other a few times. Not that either thought of it as a prelude to sex, even though it was evident that he had an erection. Both recognized that under different circumstances, it very likely would have ended up that way, but on this night it was more about the comfortable way that lovers are with each other; a way for their bodies to respond to each other and say hello.
Although he recognized this fact, William was having trouble keeping his mind on the movie. Between the comforting smell of her vanilla scented hair next to his face, and her warm, yielding body rubbing up against him in all the right places, he was definitely distracted.
The little vixen!
After a few, and becoming-painfully-distracting-minutes, he forced himself to still his body, and tried to force his concentration back to the movie. The effort and the emotionally exhausting past few days caught up with him, and his eyelids grew heavy.
Buffy also struggled to keep the movie in focus, absentmindedly stroking his arm, as her body’s heightened senses, reminded her of how well they fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle. That, and all the other corny cliches which came to mind.
The sound of a soft snore over her shoulder brought her mind back to the present. Turning her head, she saw his eyes were closed. Smiling contentedly, Buffy turned off the TV, and lay watching the flames dancing in the fireplace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11:00PM
Opening his eyes as he lay next to Elizabeth on the couch, for a few moments, he forgot all about the past few months, and for the first time in a long time he felt happy and content. Even when the memories returned a moment later, he still felt a sense of stoicism. He closed his eyes again, feeling her next to him, and wondered if he could possibly stay; letting the chips fall where they may, and letting the past stay there. He could try, he told himself. He could stay; they could go on with their lives. He would put everything out of his mind, and take care of her, love her, work, raise a family...
He opened his eyes, gazing at her with tenderness. Carefully he rose, and made sure the fire was out altogether, before gently gathering her in his arms and carrying her to bed.
END CHAPTER 171