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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
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Even with the
fight going on around her, Buffy knew the moment Spike was no longer at her
side. She felt his presence slip from her, the reassuring thumping of his heart
no longer providing her an anchor.

She whipped
around, her borrowed blood running cold at the sight of him walking towards a
woman she didn�t recognize. Her senses told her vampire, and she screamed
Spike�s name, knowing the woman standing apart from the crowd was not a mere
minion like the others. She would not be so easily dispatched.

Buffy bellowed
his name again, pushing through the attacking vampires to get to him, knowing
deep in her bones this was something dreadful. He didn�t turn to look at her,
made no signs that he�d even heard her. He simply continued to move towards the
woman as if he was being pulled forward in some sort of strange slow-motion.

In a moment of
horrific realization, Buffy knew what was happening. Whoever this
woman was, she had a thrall � and somehow, she�d managed to catch Spike in it.

Buffy started to
run towards him, only to be tackled by one of the remaining minions. He
snarled, moving to strike her, but she felt extra strength flooding her veins,
her desire to save Spike overriding all else. She struck out, kicking the
minion off of her before she staked him and turned to stake the next as well
with one movement.

Three vampires
now remained, but Buffy wasn�t slowed. She didn�t care that she was
outnumbered. Spike needed her�

Finally, she
stood with only one other vampire, the marble floor beneath their feet littered
with dust. He froze, a terrified look passing over his face as if he had just
realized he was now alone.

�I�ll kill you,
too,� Buffy snarled.

He responded by
fleeing, and Buffy didn�t go after him. She didn�t have the time. Instead, she
ran towards the hallway she�d seen Spike and the woman go down, praying to a
god who had long ago forgotten her that she�d get there on time.

She found him in
a room at the end of the hall, one she�d believed empty during her time there. Perhaps
it had been� It was decorated in white lace and silks, a large bed in the
center holding porcelain dolls, as if it were the room of a child.

Yet the woman in
it now was far from a child. Her demon�s face was in the fore,
its features making her appear almost as a snake. In her arms, she held Spike,
and Buffy stilled, the panicked breath she�d been exhaling as she ran coming to
a stop as she searched for a sign that she�d been fast enough, that she�d
stopped the horrible thing she so feared.

Then the woman
let go, Spike�s body slumped to the floor, and Buffy knew she had not.

The scream was
loud, echoing on cold walls, and Buffy didn�t know it was hers. It wasn�t
real� It couldn�t be real�

Tears heavy on
her cheeks, Buffy ran to him falling to her knees before pulling him into her
arms, cradling him. Her senses told her what she didn�t want to believe. No
heartbeat, no breath�

Just a dead
body�

�No, no, no�� she
repeated over and over again, denying what was right in front of her. �Please,
no. Spike�wake up. You�you gotta
wake up, baby.�

�He won�t wake
yet, silly girl. It isn�t time. The moon isn�t right yet.�

Buffy had almost
forgotten the other vampire in the room, but the sound of her sing-song voice
brought Buffy�s head up. �How dare you?!� she snarled. �I�ll kill you!�

The vampire
simply laughed, a sound that made Buffy sick to her
stomach. �How dare I? I did you a favor. I could take him for myself, you
know.� She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. �He was mine first.�

�Yours�� Buffy�s
eyes widened as she gasped, realization hitting as she knew why the woman would
do this, and why Spike would so easily fall under her thrall in the first
place. Drusilla�

�You should run
now, sister dear. Daddy will be here soon, and he�ll be quite cross you�ve
ruined his little game. There may be a spanking.� She shook her head. �And he
certainly won�t like your new toy.�

�How could you do
this?� Buffy demanded. �How could you do this to him?�

�Don�t be an
ungrateful princess. He was mine, and I�m letting him be yours. You should
thank me.�

�Thank you��
Buffy asked in disbelief, her anger and grief mixing inside, fueling her rage.
�You��

�Drusilla! Where the fuck are you, and
why are all my minions dust!�

Angelus�s voice echoed through the building, shaking against
the walls, and Buffy gasped softly, her body growing still. She couldn�t fight
him, not now. Not with things like this.

�Run, sweet
sister,� Drusilla whispered. �Through the window. Take
our William somewhere he can be safe until he�s ready. Hide him from Daddy.
He�ll be so very cross.�

�You�re insane,�
Buffy growled.

Drusilla laughed, the sound both childlike and sinister all at once,
and Buffy trembled. She heard Angelus�s footsteps
echoing in the hallway, and she knew she didn�t have much time.

�Dru! Come out here and talk to me now!�

�I�ll stall him,�
Drusilla whispered conspiratorially, as if they were friends playing a game and
Drusilla hadn�t just murdered the man Buffy loved. �And I�ll keep our secret.
Daddy needn�t know.�

Buffy ran her
hand against Spike�s brow, knowing the warmth she felt there would soon fade
away. Tears continued to fall from her eyes as she knew that even if he woke
again, the man she�d loved was dead. She didn�t know who he�d be, if he�d look
at her with love ever again. She knew most vampires weren�t like her, and she
didn�t know what the turning would do to Spike.

Would he be no
different from Angelus?

Would he remember
how weak she�d been, how she�d cried?

Would he leave
her alone, leave her to suffer in death?

�Run, you silly
girl,� Drusilla hissed before she glided from the room, calling to Angelus. She
could hear him yelling and the muffled sounds of Drusilla trying to coax him
into a better mood.

Buffy had no
choice anymore. What was done was done, and she couldn�t take back Drusilla�s
actions. Spike�s heart had stopped, his breath had stilled.

Nothing left to do, Buffy lifted him in her arms, his body limp. He seemed
so human in that moment, so fragile.

So lifeless�

She jumped from
the open window and into the grass, Spike�s body still in her arms. Her body
ached, her heart screaming, but she didn�t stop until she reached Spike�s car,
carefully placing him inside before she slid into the driver�s sear.

Her hands were
against the wheel when he slumped against her, and she burst into tears,
turning to gather him against her chest.

�I�m sorry,
William,� she whispered, her lips against his hair. �Oh god, I�m so sorry.�

She held him
tight, knowing she�d failed him. She was supposed to keep him safe, see to it he
survived their assault on Angelus�s mansion. Instead,
she�d let the unspeakable happen.

Buffy wondered if
it had hurt when Drusilla had turned him, if he�d felt the unbearable agony
she�d suffered when Angelus had taken that final bite of her flesh. Had he been
frightened as he�d slipped towards death? Had he begged for his life?

She should�ve
been faster. She should�ve been able to break through the remaining minions and
gotten to Spike before Drusilla had been able to change him. Angelus had been
right. She was pathetic, weak, garbage.

She fell forward,
bent over his still body, sobs racking her small frame. This wasn�t what she�d
wanted. This had never been what she�d wanted.

Drusilla believed
this was a favor?

It was so far
removed from a favor. It was her worst nightmare unfolding in front of her
eyes. Her Spike, her champion, was now the thing he�d hated most. He�d
been the only light she�d been allowed to touch for so long, and now he was
part of the dark.

Trapped in darkness
just like her�

The fact that
he�d asked for this only that morning brought her no solace. She believed now,
as she had then, that his request came only because he didn�t truly know what
he was asking her for. He didn�t know how turning changed you, how it twisted
everything inside until you knew that even if you could look at your
reflection, you wouldn�t recognize who you saw.

She sat up again,
staring down at his face, lit by a nearby streetlamp. He looked so pale, no
movement under the surface, nothing flowing in the blue veins etched into his
skin. Drusilla�s fangs had marred his perfect neck, erasing the marks that
Buffy herself had left.

The sight of it
made her shake with primal rage, and she hated the other vampire for daring to
touch what was hers, to do take this sort of liberty with a male Buffy
had marked as her own. She didn�t care that Drusilla had been his wife, once
upon a time. That was before, in the mortal world.

In the demon
world, Spike was hers. And Drusilla had taken him from her.

But as much as
she hated Drusilla, Buffy knew she was the one who ultimately held the blame.
Spike had been hers, and therefore, he�d been hers to look after, hers to
protect. She�d allowed him to walk into Angelus�s
lair with very little planning, throwing themselves at the mercy of fate. She�d
known things wouldn�t go smoothly, and yet, she�d done nothing to stop
it, nothing to stop these horrible events from falling into place.

She�d done this
to Spike just as much as if she�d stolen his life.

�I�m so sorry,�
she whispered as she stroked his hair, even if she knew he couldn�t hear her.
Until the demon Drusilla�s blood created inside of him awoke, Spike was only
dead.

He was a
shell, waiting to give rise to something dark, something hated.

Buffy wondered
then, when he finally saw what a failure she was, if he�d finally be able to
stake her.

For now, however,
all she could do was wait. She had no idea when Spike
would wake up. In truth, for all she knew, Drusilla had been lying and Spike
would never wake again. The thought of never seeing his eyes open again made
cold fear grip Buffy�s unbeating heart, and she wasn�t sure which possibility
was truly worse.

She wouldn�t have
the answer to that tonight either.

Buffy wiped at
her eyes roughly, forcing herself to be strong for now, to keep looking forward
even when she wanted to collapse on the ground and wait for the sun. While
Drusilla had turned Spike, she�d shown no desire to act as a sire should, and
he was in Buffy�s care now. It was her job to wait for him to wake, to
introduce him to his new existence, no matter how much the thought of it made
her ache.

Having a mission
to hold her together, Buffy drove away.

*** *** ***

The sun was
setting over the horizon. Buffy could feel it in her blood, beckoning her to
leave the shelter she�d sought during the day, to prowl the night, to feed. But
as she�d done for two days now, she sat, neither sleeping nor eating.

Only waiting.

Spike remained
still, and she wondered how long until she had to give up hope. He hadn�t
moved, hadn�t made a sound since she�d brought him back to the apartment and
laid him on the bed. He was nothing more than a corpse, and yet, she�d kept him
company, speaking to him, stroking his skin, his hair.

Begging him to
wake up and love her still.

In the two days
since their ill-fated raid, she�d tried to convince herself it would be okay.
Spike loved her too much to treat her as Angelus did. He wouldn�t be like that,
wouldn�t be like the cruel, heartless vampires she�d known. He�d love like he
always had.

He�d love like
she did.

She�d had to believe
it was possible. She�d had to believe they could still be real. It was the only
way she could preserve her mind.

When his eyes
finally opened, she gasped, the blue so intense, stronger than she even
remembered. He took a deep, choking breath, gasping as if he needed air,
struggling on the bed as he fought to save a life that was already gone. She
remembered the feeling, remembered how it burned deep inside, how difficult it
was to wake up as something other than what you�d always been.

She reached towards
him, prepared to soothe him, to comfort him the way Angelus had refused. To tell
it was all right even when it wasn�t.

Then, he said the
word that made her word come crashing down. A moan, a
whisper. A heartbreak�

Drusilla�

Her hand fell
away from him.

*** *** ***

Remember, if you
kill me for leaving all these evil cliffhangers, then I can�t post the rest of
the story�

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Love and Death Embrace