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Bending of wills	By : shadowslayers01 Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 10346 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
It was just after noon when Buffy woke. She blinked a few
times as she opened her eyes, wincing at the sun that was peaking through the
curtains. How long have I been sleeping? she
thought to herself tiredly as she started to stretch. As her body tried to stretch
itself out she finally noticed that she was wrapped up in Spike�s arms. It took
her a minute to remember the past nights events and how she ended up wrapped in
his arms.

She had vague memories of the night before. She remembered
walking into a gorgeous room of red and black, and then� there was something
unpleasant. Spike came and placed her in a bed, lying with her until she fell
asleep. Later, she remembered waking up and thinking she was still in the
woods. Spike must have left at some point because she recalled him running into
the room to hold her as soon as she started screaming. Buffy remembered asking
him if it ever gets better. He, of course, couldn�t answer that; but he did
hold her some more until she fell back asleep.

This is nice, Buffy
thought. She knew that she should not be thinking about how Spike�s arms felt
so *right* wrapped around her. She felt so safe and loved when she was with
him, but, at the same time, she also felt ashamed of these feelings. Surely something
was wrong with her like her mother had said. Good girls wouldn�t feel this way,
wouldn�t feel these things.

Then she remembered what the doctor had said about some
women wanting the physical as well as mental reassurance that they were still
desirable, that they were not tainted in their lovers� eyes. Was that why she
was having these feelings? It would make some sense. While he had never become
her lover, she had been harboring a crush on Spike since she had first set eyes
on him.

Maybe this was all natural. Whatever was going on here,
Buffy knew one thing for sure: she needed to go to the counseling session that
the hospital had talked about. She needed to get her head on straight before
she could even think about starting a relationship with anyone, especially
Spike. She liked him too much to screw this up.

She lay in Spike�s arms, pondering these things. After several
minutes, she came to a decision. With a sigh, she settled deeper into Spike�s
arms, figuring that she might as well enjoy it while it lasts.�

Spike knew the exact moment that Buffy woke up. He felt her
body press against his as she started to stretch the go when she became fully
awake and aware. He was about to say something when he felt her suddenly relax
again. What shocked him the most, however, was when she snuggled even deeper
into his embrace. Lord, if this is a
dream, please don�t wake me up� Spike knew he would not get many chances
with Buffy wrapped up so nicely in his arms. He unconsciously wrapped his arms
tighter around her as he thought how close he had come to losing her forever.

As much as he wanted to stay like this forever, he knew that
they had a lot of stuff to get done today. Willow�s moving in just added a whole new
dimension to the already crazy day.

�Pet, I know you are awake,� he said softy. He felt her body
tense slightly and then relax again. He looked down in time to see her head
tilted upwards, staring at him. When she saw that he had noticed her staring,
she quickly turned away but not before he saw her blush. Hastily, she moved out
of his arms. Spike thought it was sweet that he could affect her so easily. It will be a long road, but I think she just
might make it after all.

Might as well get this
over with, Buffy thought to herself as she finished pulling away from Spike.
She put on a brave face and proceeded to sit up in bed. �Spike we need to talk;
or, really, I need to talk, and you need to listen�

Spike hated those words with ever fiber of his being.
Nothing good ever came from any conversation that started with those dreaded
words. He knew he should have stopped Buffy from walking into his room. It must
have shocked and disgusted her. Hanging his head low, he waited for the
inevitable.

Buffy had no idea where she needed to start. She knew what
she needed to say, that was not a problem. But how to say it was starting to
quickly overwhelm her. After a moment, she decided that quick and to the point
would work best.

�Spike, first, let me say that I appreciate you letting me
move in. I know this was sudden; and it is going to take a lot of adjustment,
on all our parts, to make this work,� she was starting to gain more courage so
she chanced a quick glance up at him.

Keeping her gaze on him, for she really wanted to see his
expression when she told him the next bit of news, she continued, �The first
thing that I need to tell you is I decided to see the therapist that the
hospital recommended. The doctor was right. I don�t remember that much of the
assault and that could very well be a good thing. I think it will help me to
talk with someone who can help me work through all of the feelings that I am
experiencing right now.�

He knew he was supposed to be quiet so he didn�t say
anything, but he did reach his hand out and squeezed her hand in a silent show
of support.

Buffy was grateful for his support. This next was going to
be the hardest to get out.

�The thing is� I have a lot of feeling right now, feelings
for you.� She took a deep breath and refused to look at him. �The thing is,
William, I have had feelings for you for awhile, and they never really went
away. Seeing your room last night opened my eyes to what a sensual man you
really are, and waking up this morning in your arms filled me with emotions
that I am not even sure I should be feeling.�

Spike was in shock. Feelings?
She has feeling for me? He was floored by the mere idea that Buffy actually
thought about him like that. It was more than he had ever hoped for. He couldn�t
believe it. Everything he had wanted was so close.

Buffy, however, took one look at his face and misunderstood
what he was thinking. Oh God, I repulsed
him! He is probably wondering what kind of slut I am that I am already panting
after him.

�I�m sorry. I�m
sick! I shouldn�t be thinking about these things! Mom was right; I am sick.�
Without saying another word, Buffy jumped out and started to run out the door.

Jumping up, he ran after her and caught her just inside the
doorway. Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered, �No, baby, you got it all
wrong. I love that you have feelings towards me. I have wanted you for the last
few years.� He turned her around in his arms, before saying anything more, �I
want you Buffy. I want you all of the time. I wish I was there to protect you
last night. I would give my own life if I could change what happened.�

Taking a deep breath, he continued, �I am so happy that you
are going to go talk to someone, and I want you to know that I will be behind
you every step of the way and so will Willow and Xander. As for the feelings
that you are feeling, the feelings are mutual.��

Spike had no idea if he was going too fast, but he didn�t
want her to think that he thought any less of her because of that night. �Buffy,
I don�t want to scare you; but I have feelings too.�

Buffy started blushing. �Yeah? But I am having *feelings*� I should just say it, she thought to
herself. �I am having �I want to touch sexy Spike� feelings!� Buffy couldn�t
believe she had just said that out loud. She was sure her face was bright red.

Bemused, he just laughed, �Yeah, Pet, I got that idea the
first time around.�

Pulling her up against him, he let her feel his morning
reaction to her closeness then he quickly let her go. �You�re not sick or
having any wrong feelings. Remember what the doctor said? It is normal for some
women to feel this way.�

Changing the topic before they got to deep, he suddenly
turned to Buffy and said, �I almost forgot. I talked to Red last night. She
disagreed with our parents so she is moving in.�

Seeing the look on Buffy�s face and knowing what she was thinking,
he quickly reassured her �It�s not your fault. Everyone made there own choices.
In fact, it�s about bloody time that she stood up to them. We best get moving.
I told her I would help move her out. We�ll be back around dinner time, ok? Red
and I will pick up Chinese.�

With that, he gave her a hug and walked out the door.

�Oh well, might as well explore my new home,� Buffy muttered
to herself. She was glad Willow
was moving in. At any rate, it would help her keep her hands off Spike.
- 16
- 17
- 18
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Bending of wills