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Seasons of Faith	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4355 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Seasons of faith
Chapter 17
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Dawn stared into the mirror.
She had a strange expression on her face. She pulled open her eye wide. She raised her lip, looking at her gums. She pulled on the skin of her face. All that kept running through her mind was " Not real. It's all not real. I'm not real!"
Where did she come from? What was she? A "Key". Some kind of mystical energy. But what did she do? What was her purpose? She didn't know. The entry in Giles' journal about her had been sketchy. All it said was that she wasn't human. What was she?
Dawn had been weirded out lately by everyone. They were treating her differently. Buffy always acted strange around her, but now all the scoobies were doing the same. Willow, Xander, Anya… even Tara. With all the talk about her "not belonging here" by the crazy people…and even her own mom, Dawn was getting a little freaked. She needed some answers. But where? Then a thought hit her. She'd seen Giles writing in his journal, and her curiosity had been aroused. No one would tell her anything, and she figured that she could learn more if she could get a look at it. But how?
She'd decided to sneak out. She'd break into the Magic Box, and read the journal when no one was there. She waited til everyone had gone to sleep, thendressed and climbed out her window. She almost made it, too, when a voice nearly made her jump out of her skin( or whatever this was, she thought, pinching the skin on her arm).
"Well, Bitty bit, fancy this. What do you think your sister make of you sneaking out in the middle of the night?" A familiar voice said behind her.
She turned, and Spike was standing there, smoking a cig and looking at her with an amused expression.
" Shhh ,. Spike, be quiet!" Dawn whispered, urgently. She didn't want Buffy to hear her.
" What's going on, nibblet? Why are you sneaking out in the middle of the night?" Spike asked. Despite how her sister treated him, Spike was kind of fond of Dawn. She'd always treated him like he wasn't a monster. He was, mind you. He still was the big bad, and would prove it once he got this bloody chip out of his head. But it was nice to have one Summers' sister who didn't call him names, or try to punch or kick him..
" It's none of your business, Spike." Dawn replied. " I've got something I gotta do, is all. "
"Well, I see. Maybe I should just ring up your sister, then. Let her know you're sneaking around at night." Spike said. He starts for the Summers' front door, but Dawn catches him, pulling on his arm.
"No, please….Spike. I gotta …I gotta get into the Magic Box. There's something there I need". Dawn said, pleadingly. " Don't tell Buffy, please!"
" Oh… I see. Going to do a spell or something?" Spike asks. He's curious why the smallest Summers girl has to be sneaking around late , going to a place she's in all the time.
"Or something." Dawn says. She starts to walk away.
"Where you going? It’s not safe out here. Lots of bad things wandering around. They'd find a tender little morsel like you most appealing" Spike warned. Despite his big badness, he still didn't want to see Dawn get hurt… or worse. He makes an impatient noise. " All right, I better go with you, then. Right" He added, a bit exasperated.
" You're not going to tell?" Dawn asks, relieved.
" No…I'm going to help you" Spike answers. Dawn runs up to him, and hugs him. Spike, taken by surprise, pats her gently on the back. What is it about these Summers' women that they can twist him around their fingers, anyway? He sighs inwardly. Bloody damn not fair, I think!
They walk in the general direction of the Magic Box, Spike watching for anything that might take an unhealthy interest in Dawn.
After struggling somewhat with the lock at the Magic Box, using a hairpin borrowed from Dawn, Spike managed to pick the lock. He opened it, and they walked in. Dawn made a beeline for the front counter.
"So, bit, what're you looking for, anyway? Some potion? A love spell? Got some boy you're looking to enchant?" Spike asked, looking around.
" A journal. Giles' Journal. I want to look at it" Dawn said. She was searching behind the counter. She knew it was here somewhere. She ran her hand along under the counter, and felt a spring catch. She tried to work it, but it was locked. Damn!
"Spike…can you help me here?" Dawn asked. Spike was looking at a jar of newt eyes. He put them down, gingerly(ugh!) and came around the counter.
"What is it, little bit? " He asked.
"I think I found the secret drawer where he keeps his journal, but I can't open it!" Dawn said. " Would you try?"
Grumbling a little, Spike hunkered down and tried to pick the lock. He didn't have much success. He finally reached back around, and just broke the catch bar, which released the drawer. Inside was a leather bound book, with notes sticking out of it. Dawn picked it up.
"This is it" She said, opening the book." Maybe I can find something in here"
She started to read the journal. At first there was nothing that seemed like it related to her. Just stuff about Buffy, and some demon she's fighting. Then she came across the story of the monk.
Her eyes went wide…and got wider as she read more. Her expression changed from casual interest, to interest, then shock, then disbelief. This couldn't be right. She handed the book to Spike, pointing out a passage.
He looked at it, and read it aloud.
" The key is a very powerful collection of mystical energy. I haven't found exactly what it was used for, but it appears to be old. It was guarded by an order of monks, kept secret. But recently, they feared their secret had been compromised. The Beast was looking for them, to recover the key. To hide it, and protect it, the monks performed a ritual. They altered the form of the key. Made it physical, and then human. They sent it to the Slayer in the form of a sister…" Spike stopped, and looked at Dawn. " That must be you, Dawn" He continued " To hide it and protect it from the Beast…."
Dawn made a strangled noise, and ran out of the shop. Spike, finally realizing what was what, cursed and followed, not even bothering to return the journal to it's rightful spot. He rushed out, but Dawn was gone. He made for the Summers' house, hoping she went that way. He saw her climbing back up to her bedroom window." Well, then." He thought." At least the bit's back home" Realizing that there might be trouble arising out of this, he figured it was time for a strategic retreat…which he made quickly.
Looking in the mirror, Dawn's expression turns to one of anger. She hurt, confused and upset. Her whole life is nothing but a lie. That's what she thinks. The mirror just shows her as Dawn, but she wants to know what she really is. She looks around, and picks up her backpack, throwing it at the mirror, cracking it. Not satisfied, she swings it at the mirror, shattering it. She's tired of being lied to. Everyone is lying to her. Mom, Buffy, Faith, all of them, lying!!!!
Hearing the commotion, Faith and Buffy are out of their bed in a flash. They run to Dawns room. They're afraid that somehow Glory has found Dawn. They try the door, but it's locked. In the room, they hear things breaking, and Dawn is yelling and cursing.
Buffy, fearing for Dawns life, slams against the door, trying to open it. She works the lock, breaking it. Both slayers enter the room.
They're both shocked, the room looks like it's been hit by a hurricane. Things have been thrown everywhere. Clothes, books, papers and various items are everywhere. The mirror is shattered. The desk lamp is overturned and broken..
" IT'S ALL A LIE. I'M A LIE. I'M NOT EVEN REAL!!!" Dawn screams at Buffy and Faith. The slayers look at each other, worried expression on their faces. Buffy starts to approach Dawn.
" Dawn…" Buffy says, trying to soothe the overwrought girl. Dawn backs away from her, waving her arms.
"No…NO!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" She yells. " WHY? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
Joyce enters the room. She's shocked at what she finds. She sees Dawn, and rushes towards her.
"NO…GET AWAY!!! You're not my mother! I don't have a mother. GET AWAY" She yells, batting at Joyce. Joyce retreats, shock and hurt on her face. Dawn calms a little, but her voice is still angry" Why? Why'd you lie? Why didn't you tell me?"
Joyce says quietly " We were going to tell you, Dawn. When you were older"
"Older? How old am I? Really?" Dawn looks at the women." How old?"
" Six months" Buffy replies. " The monks sent you to us 6 months ago"
" Six months" She repeats. She laughs, not pleasantly. " This is all insane. I can remember everything, but it's not even real. How?"
"The monks created the memories, for all of us" Faith says.
"Who else knows about this?" Dawn asks. No one answers her right away. " WHO ELSE???"
" The scoobies" Buffy replies. " And Giles"
" They all knew, and you didn’t tell me!" Dawn says, her anger rising. " WHY?"
"We were trying to protect you, Dawn" Buffy says, moving closer." We didn't think you were ready to know, or understand"
"Yeah…because it's your job, right Buffy? That's why you've been so …protective lately" Dawn says, spitting it out. " I'm just part of the job to you!"

"No, Dawnie, that isn't true…" Buffy says, moving closer…Dawn sees her, and backs away. She picks up a piece of the mirror.
"GET AWAY!!" She yells. She's near hysteria. She takes the shard of mirror, and before anyone can stop her, she cuts her arm." Is any of this real? IS this blood? WHAT?"
Buffy moves quickly, and gets her arms around Dawn. " Get me the first-aid kit. Now!" She holds Dawn, who's struggling with her, and sits. Faith runs to get the first aid kit. Joyce come over, and helps Buffy hold Dawn. Dawn, tired, upset, loses her fight. She sits still, her expression vacant. She just doesn't seem to care anymore.
Faith returns with the kit, and starts to bandage Dawn's arm. Dawn struggles a little, then sits quietly. She looks at what they are doing.
"Why are you even bothering? It's not like it's real. It's all fake. Fake memories, fake life…this is probably just fake, too!" She says quietly, defeated. Her voice echoes the emptiness of her heart.
"Dawnie, NO!" Buffy says, holding Dawn tighter. She can feel her eyes watering, a tear rolling down her face." This …this" Holding up Dawn's bandaged arm, " is real. The blood is real. It's Summers' blood, same as mine, same as mom's. There's no difference!"
"Buffy, stop!" Dawn says hollowly." I read Giles' journal. I'm just some blob of energy. Some key, or something. I …I'm not a real person! The only reason you're interested in me is because it's what you do. It's your job. You have to protect me!"
"Dawn, no…no, no, NO!" Buffy says, hugging her little sister. " That's not true at all. You're my sister."
"No, I'm not! I'm nobody's sister. I'm nobody! Just a …thing!" Dawn says, struggling in Buffy's arms." I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere!"
" Dawnie, stop!" Buffy says. She shifts around so she's holding Dawn by the shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. She sees the tears in Dawn's eyes, her lip quivering. It breaks her heart." Dawn. I don't care who made you, how you got here. That doesn't matter. You're my sister! That's all I know. You're a part of me, of mom. Of this family. You're my sister Dawn. I love you!" Buffy says. Dawn looks at Buffy, searching her eyes. Her own eyes begin to overflow with tears. Crying, she clings to Buffy. She wants so much to believe. She needs to believe. Buffy, tenderly, holds her, stroking her hair. " I love you, Dawnie" Buffy whispers, holding her close. Joyce comes from the other side, and holds Dawn. Together they soothe the frightened and upset girl.
Faith, knowing this is a family moment, quietly retreats.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
"USELESS…you are TOTALLY USELESS!!!"
Glory, in a rage, is tossing her minions around like throw pillows, working off her frustration. She asked a very simple thing, follow the slayers and find her Key. Not hard, not taxing. But what? It's like asking the meaning of life(god, can this life have meaning? In this stupid, stupid place?) from these fools.
"Oh most Beauteous one" A minion implored, from the floor where it was groveling. " We've followed the slayers day and night. They've never gone to the key. They must have it hidden."
"Most magnificent Glorificus, is it possible that they don't know where the key is? That they don't have it?" A minion interjects.
"Scabby cretin " Glory says, coming over and kicking the offending minion into the wall." Of course they know where it is . The monk, my monk, told them before he died. I'm sure of it. You" She looks at the group of cowering minions, " are just incompetent. Why do I always get the incompetents?" She complains." Certainly not like the old days when a minion would accomplish it's task, or die trying. Nope, today's minions are all about staying alive. What kinda attitude is that when serving a god?" She looks around in disgust at her group of quivering minions. She sighs." If I weren't stuck in the place, and you weren't the only minions available, I'd destroy the lot of you. But, you're really lucky, ya know?"
"Oh, thank you most Merciful and Kind one" They say as a group, crawling out backwards from the room. Glory looks at the retreating horde, and points at one of the minions. " You!" They all freeze. They look up, and the one she's pointing at rises…the rest beat a hasty(well, as hasty as crawling backwards will allow) retreat. The lone minion, extra scabby, stands sweating and nervous. He really doesn't want to die.
Glory switches gears. She approaches the nervous minion, and is all sweetness and coyness.
"Jinksy, Jinksy, Jinksy" Coos the God. " You told me you followed the slayers day and night. So, my delightful little scabby one, tell me all about them . Everything you learned. " She smiled…though her smile doesn't exactly set one at ease. She's thinking possibly it's time to take a more… active role in finding her key. Perhaps if she visits the slayers, she can 'persuade' them to give it up to her.
Or, at least have some fun trying.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Buffy knelt by the bed of the sleeping Dawn.
Faith and Buffy had given up their room so Dawn could get some rest. She'd done a particularly good job on destroying her room, and it would take a bit of clean-up before it was ready to be used again. She sighed. Well, wasn't going to get much sleep tonight anyway. Not after this. She reached out, brushing a stray hair out of Dawn's face. The girl's sleep was troubled… she tossed a lot, and was talking in her sleep.
Buffy felt some guilt over tonight's little drama. Dawn was probably right. She should have told her. But, it'd been hard for her to accept that Dawn wasn't her sister. All those memories of her… seemed so real. To everyone. How do you tell someone they're not real? That all the life they remember, all the memories, are fiction? She couldn't think of a way to do it. But she wished now she'd found some way. To find it out the way she did, must have been awful. There was no one there to help her understand. Just Spike. Her expression turned to one of anger. Spike. This was the last straw. I don’t care if he can't kill… that doesn't make him harmless, Buffy thought to herself. I've put up with a lot from that…thing. Time to take care of him, once and for all.
Faith came to the doorway, looking for Buffy. She'd guessed right that she'd be looking in on Dawn. After all, she'd done it hourly since they'd gotten Dawn settled. She watched as Buffy watched Dawn, and a little smile came to her face. She could see that despite what she'd learned about Dawn, that Dawn wasn't 'real' in the sense of being her sister, there was a true bond there. A true feeling of affection, love. She quietly moved to behind Buffy, and laid her hand on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy, startled, turned around, but smiled when she saw who it was. She stood up, and slipped into Faith's arms.
Faith held her close, and Buffy laid her head on Faith's shoulder. She whispered softly into Faith's ear.
"Thank you" Buffy whispered, not wanting to wake Dawn.
"For what, B?" Faith asked, a little puzzled.
" For being here. I need you so much right now" Buffy said, snuggling closer to Faith.
Faith held Buffy close, gently stroking her hair. She bit her lip to keep her own tears back. It was so rare when Buffy let her in like this. Feeling the smaller woman in her arms, holding onto to her, just confused Faith all the more. Lately it had been so…hard to get close. With their differing schedules, the increased training they were both doing because of this new threat, and… just that Buffy was trying again to take it all on, not sharing the burden with her, Faith had been confused, feeling out of the loop. Not a part of things. She'd wanted so much to help Buffy, especially when Joyce had been so sick. Thank god they'd been able to get the tumor. During those hours at the hospital, Faith had come to realize how much she cared about Joyce, how she had come to love her like the mother she'd never really had. Joyce had been so good to her, accepting her when others hadn't( can you say Buffy? She smiles inwardly). She'd been so scared she'd lose Joyce. She'd needed Buffy as much as she wanted to give support to Buffy. But she'd felt like an outcast. She'd felt like she wasn't part of this family. Thinking back now, she'd realized that was a lot to do with her own insecurities. Buffy hadn't been exactly support girl, true, but she'd done nothing to make her feel unwelcome. But it'd been hard to stand off when she wanted so much to comfort Buffy. She wanted to hold her, and reassure her that all would be well. But Buffy had … been standoffish that way. It'd been hard to take that She finally convinced herself that Buffy was just trying to deal with everything. But it still hurt she wouldn't let her help.
' I dunno what I'm gonna have to do to make her know I'm gonna be there for her" Faith thought to herself. " We've been together two and a half years now, and she still don't let me in all the way. How'm I gonna break that wall she keeps around her heart? Should I even try? Maybe I gotta accept that this is as good as it's gonna get. Maybe, if I love her, I gotta let it be. Accept the real, and just deal with it best I can. But … I just can't. I gotta know that if things go to crap, she'll turn to me to help her. I need her to need me as much as I need her.. I love she's strong, and independent, and capable. But sometimes I just wish she'd be a little less of those things. Dream on Faith."
"And then tonight happened. Dawn goes postal, learning about herself. Buffy rushes in, calms her. Settles her down, and gets her to bed. Then, instead of turning away like she's been doing, she comes to me, and…I can see she needs to be held, so I do. And she starts to cry on my shoulder. I feel her body shaking in my arms as she lets out all the stuff she's been holding in so long. Almost an hour she holds onto me, the tears coming and going. She finally lets go, wipes her tears, and smiles. I can see she's feeling like…embarrassed. I reach out and squeeze her hand, and she squeezes back like saying thanks honey. God, I thought my heart was going to break and explode at the same time. She went to check on Dawnie for the first time, and I sat there, in wonder. Wondering how she always seems to manage to turn me upside down just when I figure I got it figured. Iffen I didn't love her so damned much, I think I'd spank that all too cute ass of hers!"
Buffy stirs in Faith's arms, and pulls away. She takes Faith's hand, and leads her out of the room. Not stopping at the door, Buffy pulls Faith along after her as she descends the stairs. She pauses to get her coat, and tells Faith to do likewise. Now Faith is getting confused… and maybe a little worried.
"B… what's up? What're we doin' here?" Faith says, getting into her coat.
"Get a couple of stakes outta the weapons chest, Faith." Buffy says, her tone firm.
"Sure, B. But why?" Faith asks, as she heads towards the chest.
"Oh, we're going to pay a little social call" Buffy says, her tone hard. " on Spike".
"B? You sure you wanna do this?" Faith asks. Don't get her wrong. She's not at all fond of Spike. She puts him in the same class as Angel. She's never met a vamp she's liked… really. But despite that, Fangless has been kinda valuable keepin' an ear to the demon underground. Learning about Glory. She figures, why waste a resource? Anyway, they could have a Kill Glory, Dust Spike party after all the 'fun' is done.
" Spike has been a pain in my rear for years now. I tolerated him once he got that chip, simply cuz I thought he might be useful , somehow. But tonight, he's lost any use I got for him!" Buffy looked at Faith, her eyes gleaming blue-tinged green… her slayer eyes!
"Look, B. I don't like Fang Jr. Don't get me even a little wrong. But he's been useful in learning about Glory. Is it a good idea to kill him right now?" Faith asks.
"Faith" Buffy says quietly, her face hardening." If you don't wanna help, fine. Stay here with Dawn." Buffy moves towards the front door.
"Yeah, that's so gonna happen, B. Hold on, I'm with ya. Catch" Faith says, throwing a stake to Buffy.
They both head out the front door
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
Spike is settling down for the evening, watching TV.
He has his cup of blood, only slightly warmed ( I got to get a microwave in this place, he mutters). He rather enjoys late night TV. Between the old movies, and the infomercials, he can have drama(movies) or comedy(infomercials) as he chooses. He kinda gets a kick out of watching those idiots trying to pitch some stupid thing. Watching the gullible saps who buy into it also can be rather funny. He's just settling back, sipping his blood, and watching the newest Ronco infomercial when there's a pounding on the door of his mausoleum.
"Hold on, don't get your knickers in a twist." He yells, as he starts to get up. He doesn't quite make it when the doors burst open. … revealing one very pissed off, and one sardonic slayer .
"Well, well, luvs. How nice of you to drop in, all nice like." He notes the damage to the doors." Come on in, mi mausoleum is su mausoleum I suppose"
Buffy, not stopping for pleasantries, is on Spike like white on rice. She grabs him, thrusts him up on a wall, and punches him…yes, in the nose.
"HEY, NOW!!!" Spike whines. "What's that about!"
Buffy looks at him, her eyes fierce. But she doesn't say anything. Faith, however, does.
"Be happy, Fangless, she's in such a reasonable mood" Faith said. " Me, I just wanted to stake you!"
"Bloody hell!! What're you sodding pillocks about? I've not done nothing!" Spike says.
"Oh, really Spike?" Buffy spits out his name." All that hair bleach must be softening your brains. So, you're forgetting about…oh, say…breaking into the Magic Box tonight?" She twists his shirt, tightening the collar around his neck. He smiles condescendingly.
"Well, slayer" Spike says. "Figured you know by now that doesn't do squat" With that, he not too gently breaks her grip on him, returning feet to terra firma. He brushes off. He notes his shirt is torn.
"Now look what you've done. I liked this shirt!" He complains.
" Ah, good, then I won't rip it when I put this in" Buffy says, holding a stake to his chest.
Spike eyes the stake. If it were possible, his face would blanch about now." Alright, slayers. What exactly is this about? Why are you messing me about here?"
"Are you that stupid, Fang?" Faith asks, smiling derisively." Or just in denial?"
" Sod off, Slayer" Spike says, turning away. Buffy grabs him, lifts him and throws him into an open sarcophagus. She goes over, and closes the lid on him as he's rising out of it…trapping him between the lip and the lid.
"What the HELL were you thinking, Spike?" Buffy says, her voice menacing." HOW THE HELL could you let her find out that way?"
" I had NO idea what she wanted, Buffy!" Spike says quietly. " And, where were you when little bit was climbing down the trellis? I mean, she was out alone in the night. You know well as I do there are plenty of things out there would love a tender morsel like her!"
"So, you did a Galahad, and escorted her to the Magic Box and broke in for her?" Faith asks." Occur to you, Fangless, that that wasn't exactly normal behavior?"
" Piss off, Faith. What was I supposed to do? Let the nibblet wander around town by herself?"
"Tell somebody, maybe?" Buffy says, growling.
"Right, and she's gonna wait right there while I fetch one of you? And even if I had of, what's to say that would've been the last try she made at it?" Spike says, his voice getting angrier.
"Shut UP, Spike" Buffy yells at him, pushing the lid tighter on him." You weren't there when Dawn went ballistic finding out about herself. You didn't have to clean up the mess you made!"
"I MADE?" Spike's had his fill. He heaves the heavy stone lid like it’s made of Styrofoam. It breaks against the wall. " Maybe, if you hadn't cocked it up, been honest with her sooner and told her the truth, maybe she wouldn't have gone nutters on you." He sneers at them " If you're looking to blame someone, try a mirror. If you and your Scooby gang had treated her like a person, instead of like a thing, maybe she wouldn't have gotten all bent."
Buffy stands stricken. She already has guilt over Dawn, and not telling her. Faith, on the other hand, isn't standing still for this crap. She walks over to Spike, grabs him and puts him in a choke hold. She then hovers a stake over his heart.
"Listen to me, bleach boy. Buffy's had enough to deal with. With her mom, and fighting a hell god. Now she has to worry about Dawn. Because of you! Here's the deal. You don't come near them again…any of them. Get me?"
"What're you gonna do, slayer? " Spike mocks." Bore me to death?"
"I'll make sure this is thru the heart next time" She says. She plunges the stake through his right breast…hurting him, but not killing him. "Clear enough, fangless?"
" She's making your decisions now, Buffy?" Spike asks." That the deal?"
"No," Buffy says, coming up to him. She punches him again in the nose. "Stay away from me and my family, Spike!"
"Fine by me" Spike says, sore and hurting. " I'll just sit back and watch that Hell-bitch make mincemeat of you two. Ought to be fun!"
"We'll take care of Glory, Spike" Faith spits at him. " You just stay out of our way!"
" Like I said, fine by me. But prick up your ears, slayers. You think you're gonna protect Dawn from Glory? Not likely. Might as well queue your friends up now, luv. Cuz she's gonna rip right through them to get what she wants. Then, it'll be down to you two. But, maybe that's what you want...?" He looks pointedly at Faith." Face it, slayers. You're outgunned, and outmatched. You're done"
The two slayers glare at him, and leave.
"And I'll be there to laugh" He adds , speaking to himself.
~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~
The two slayers walk through the graveyard, away from Spike's mausoleum.
They're quiet, both afraid to speak. Despite their contempt of Spike, his words have hit a nerve. Frankly, they're both scared. They're fighting a god. How do you fight a GOD? They haven't a clue, and time's running out. For now, Dawn is safe simply because no one except the Scoobies, themselves and Joyce Summer's know about Dawn( And Spike. Crap!). But what if it leaks out? What if Glory hears about it?
Buffy starts to lag behind Faith, and finally sits on a headstone. Faith, noticing Buffy's not with her, turns and sees the older girl sitting there, her face a mask of discouragement and despair. She's lost heart. She just sits , staring off into space. Faith, her heart sinking, walks back towards Buffy, and she kneels beside her. Faith takes her hand.
"Buffy?" Faith says, her voice reflecting her concern. Buffy turns to look at her.
"Faith, what am I gonna do?" Buffy asks, her voice mournful." I don't have a clue here. How can I protect them? How can I keep Dawn and mom safe? How can I let the Scoobies get involved, knowing they have a real chance of getting killed? This isn't their fight. They shouldn't have to die for this. It's my responsibility. I gotta protect Dawn. She's my sister, Faith. I can't just send her and mom away. Glory'll just find them and I wouldn't be there to protect them. I can't do it, Faith. I can't. I've failed. She's gonna die, they're all gonna die, and it'll be my fault. Cuz I wasn't strong enough, smart enough. How can I let that happen?" Buffy is near tears, the fears and doubts overwhelming her." I can't ! But I don't know what to do? What'm I gonna do, Faith? What'm I gonna do?"
Faith puts her arms around Buffy, holding her. " B, you're not alone, baby. I'm here. We'll do this. We'll figure something, I promise. We'll get through this, you and me together!"
" No…Faith, NO!" Buffy is adamant." I won't let you! I won't risk losing you again! I nearly lost you three times Faith. I can't live with the idea of life without you. I won't let you! NO!"
" B…look at me" Faith says, quietly. Buffy won't. She shifts around, so Buffy has no choice." Look at me, B. We're together in this. There're no options here. You and me. We're gonna fight this. You can't do it alone, and I can't either. She'll beat us if we're not together in this. Do you understand?" Faith looks at Buffy for an answer, but Buffy won't. " Buffy! We've got to be on the same page here. She's too powerful for just one of us. We both gotta take her on. No heroics, either side, clear?" Buffy looks at her.
"Yeah, right, Faith. You got so much room to talk. You nearly died taking on the mayor, after knocking me out. When I saw you lying there, broken … I nearly died too. How can you think I want to go through that again?" Buffy says.
" I promise, B. I won't do that this time. I know I aint gotta chance alone against her. I need you, and you need me. We can do this, if we do it together!" Faith says, firmly. " We're gonna do this. We're gonna beat her. You and me! I promise, B."
"Really, Faith?" Buffy says, her hope rising a tiny bit." Do you really believe that?"
"Yes, baby, I do. I know we can beat her if we stick together." Faith says.
"Ok, Faith. I believe in you. I … We're gonna do this. We're gonna send that bitch back to hell!" Buffy says, her face gaining a resolve.
"You betcha, B. She's messed with the wrong girls this time!" Faith says.
The slayers head back towards the house on Revello. Buffy is walking taller, more confident. Faith, walking beside her, puts her arm around Buffy's shoulder. Buffy does the same with Faith. Buffy has hope, and is beginning to believe they can really do this.
Faith just wishes she really believed what she told Buffy. She wants to, desperately.
She's just not so sure.
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Seasons of Faith